Samaritan Marriage Ceremonies

Written by Benjamin Tsedaka as it appears in the Encyclopaedia Judaica, Keter Publishing House Jerusalem Ltd., Jerusalem, Israel, 1972, vol. 14, 745-747.

Kiddushin

The proposal is the first of three stages in Samaritan marriage: kiddushin, erusin, nissu’in. They express the status of the girl in family life. When a Samaritan girl is certain of her choice, she urges him to request his parents to ask her parents for her hand. Occasionally, when a young man is in love, he may request his parents to approach the girl’s parents even without telling her of it. On being asked, the girl’s parents reply: “We will call the damsel and inquire at her mouth” (Genesis 24:57). The girl’s wish is now tested. If she desires the man, though her parents are opposed, she may reply affirmatively. She then appoints a guardian to perform the erusin (betrothal) ceremony on her behalf. The kiddushin ceremony takes place in the girl’s home, and even a minor priest can sustain the bond and bless it by “recital of the Shema” and similar verses from the Pentateuch. The breaking of the Kiddushin does not require divorce. Whenever conditions do not permit the continuation of the attachment, the man informs the girl’s parents of it in writing by word of mouth and he is not liable for damages.

Erusin

The betrothal usually takes place a short time after the kiddushin. Release from erusin requires a divorce. The girl is herself not present, but her representative, her father or her uncle, or, in the event of her father not consenting to the betrothal, the guardian sits opposite the young man. They clasp right hands together as a sign of the bond. The high priest then receives a tied handkerchief containing six silver shekels from the young man and hands them to the girl’s representative as a symbol of the dowry. When the priest finishes reading, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helpmate for him” (Gen. 2:18-25), the fiancé kisses the hand of the priest and the notables. The fiancé and his fiancée are now regarded as husband and wife.

Nissu’in

Marriage is the final stage, the formal act whose purpose is to complete the betrothal. Rejoicing on these occasions is greater than at any joyful Samaritan ceremony. The bridegroom’s family proclaims a week of rejoicing to begin the Sabbath before the wedding. This is called the Shabbat ha-Perihah (“the Opening Sabbath” of the rejoicing). On this Sabbath the weekly portion of the law is read in the house of the groom’s father. When the afternoon service is completed, the groom’s relatives walk in procession from house to house and invite the guests to take part in the week of rejoicing. On the termination of the Sabbath, the men have a great feast in the house of the groom’s father and sing wedding songs. The father of the groom bestows gifts upon the honored guests. On Sunday evening the women arrange their feast in the house of the bride’s mother and they, too, indulge in much singing and music. On Monday evening one of the groom’s relatives invites the men to a feast prepared in his house, and they again indulge in hymn singing and praises. In the center of the party sit the men, who sing, verse by verse, the account of Rebekah’s marriage to Isaac (Gen.24), each man taking a turn, with the bridegroom completing the reading. The evening of the third day is called, “the red night,” the night of the rejoicing of the bride. She is clothed in red garments symbolizing the purity of her virginity. The women prepare a splendid feast for her, the high point of which is the dance of the bridegroom’s mother holding a parcel decorated with flowers containing the garments of the groom. The wedding takes place on the fourth day when the luminaries, symbolized by the bridegroom and bride, were created. During the day the bridegroom takes a piece of parchment to one of the scholars among the priests and asks him to write the marriage contract (ketbbah). He also rewards him for his trouble. In the evening the men assemble in the house of the groom, where they partake of the marriage feast. Afterward the groom’s father invites the high priest to the place of rejoicing where the marriage is to take place. The high priest, the bridegroom, and the guests await the coming of the bride. She is accompanied by her relatives, who sing the Song of the Red Sea (the song of the prophetess Miriam) to the music of tambourines and with dancing. On the bride’s arrival the priests break out in poetic song and marriage psalms. When the singing is finished, the groom rises, hands the marriage contract to the high priest, and kisses his right hand. The priest reads it slowly, and then details the virtues and rank of the families of the bridegroom and bride and the conditions upon which their marriage is taking place. When the reading ends the contract is handed to the bride’s representative, her father, uncle, or guardian, for safekeeping. The groom kisses the hands of the high priest, gives him his fee and receives a wedding gift from him. The groom then turns to the bride, lifts the veil from her head, kisses her, and places a ring upon her finger of her right or left hand (a new custom). Sometimes they strengthen the bond by both drinking wine from the same cup (there is no canopy or breaking of a glass). During the following Sabbath prayers, songs signifying the joy of marriage are added. These are sung by the priest except when the groom is of the priestly family, in which case a lay Samaritan sings them. The groom reads the weekly portion of the law. The meal that takes place after the reading of the portion concludes the week of marriage.

Intermarriage

Samaritan halakhah permits intermarriage with the Jewish community on authorization by the high priest after he is convinced that the convert will be fit to bear the burnt of observing Samaritan tradition. The attitude of the Samaritans toward Jews is expressed as: the Jews are children of the Jewish people who have deviated from the right path but will return to it “on the day of vengeance and recompense.” A Samaritan may marry a Jewess only if she declares herself ready to observe Samaritan tradition. In such a case the Jewess lives in the bridegroom’s house for at least six months and learns the customs of the community. The high priest tests her knowledge of what is required of her and only then gives his authorization. A Samaritan girl can be married to a Jew only if he declares his willingness to become a Samaritan.

Such marriages, which Samaritans regard as a sign of a renewing tie between the to sectors of Israel-the Samaritan and the Jewish-are recognized by the Ministry of the Interior, and the marriage certificates are official forms of the ministry, which recognizes the high priest’s right to register the marriage. Up to 1970 six such cases had occurred and in each case Samaritan men married Jewesses. The first case took place in 1923 and the last in 1969, despite the opposition in all cases of the Jewish chief rabbinate, which is not recognized by the Samaritan high priesthood.

Divorce

Divorce is very rare in the Samaritan community. In the 20^th century up to 1970 only three cases had taken place, the last being in 1962. Divorce releases from betrothal or marriage. Three cases are recognized by Samaritan halakhah: (1) abominable practices committed by either party, or by both together; (2) quarreling that makes life of either party unbearable; (3) immorality, i.e. rumors or proofs that either party maintains extramarital relations. In each case the cause must be confirmed by two or three witnesses. The high priest imposes upon the applicants a period for appeasement of a least a year, and when all efforts have failed the man and the woman go to the house of the high priest together with a limited number of relatives. The high priest reads the bill of divorce in the hearing of the couple, tears the marriage contract, and removes the rings from their fingers. The divorced woman may not remarry her husband if either she or he marries another after the divorce. The guilty party must pay damages, as fixed by the high priest.