But you're still alive.
I had a parallel universe moment last week when I caught the headlines on ITV news. It was on the day when Bush expressed approval of Ariel Sharon's plan to withdraw Jewish settlers from the Gaza strip. Despite the fact that Israel is actually promising to withdraw from some of the occupied territories, the news of course was bad for Palestinians, as the US had supported the idea that some Jewish settlements, which have been in place for decades by the way, could be allowed to stay.

For most of us, this would seem to be a mere acknowledgement of reality, but of course, reality has few friends in the mixed-up world of middle-east politics. Just as the bad news was explained, Trevor McDonald gravely intoned that there were fears that it would derail the peace process. As he said that, my screen showed a scene of Palestinian men wearing balaclavas marching down a street carrying guns and rocket launchers.

I had to laugh my lungs out but was eerily aware that ITV had not intended that this be ironic. Because in MediaNewsLand, anything that Israel does other than roll over and slit its own throat is a provocation that could push the Palestinian terrorist organisations to a greater level of violence.

Where does this idea come from that they are ever holding back? There is no evidence for it. The media likes to talk about the 'Cycle of Violence' but it's not a cycle because that expression implies that if either side were to stop its attacks, the other would stop also. It isn't true. Israel could decide to do nothing in retaliation to bombings and that wouldn't make Hamas cool off. They are committed to attacking as often as they can, regardless of how much or how little the Israelis do in return.

After the latest assassination of the new Hamas leader, there were scenes of Palestinians expressing their outrage at the loss of their beloved leader, a man whose message was that they should be prepared to blow themselves up as martyrs to attack Israel. You shouldn't have to be Alanis Morissette* to spot the flaw in this scene: If they loved him and his message so much, how come they're still alive?

Several days have passed since then and despite the promises of immediate retaliation, nothing has happened. It's all nonsense. Only the USA saw sense and declined to condemn this targeted killing. Hamas is going to find it harder to arrange killings if item one on the agenda at every weekly meeting is the appointment of a new leader. Item two (How to kill more Jews) may have to get held over. And that's as good as we can hope for.

* "Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died, 'til you died, But you're still alive." You oughta know, Jagged Little Pill.