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Monday, November 25th
Today is another boring stuf plain old day, for little depressing me. I have reliazed I am becoming more and more Anti-social sometimes. I don't really like going out and I am starting to hate the phone. All I really can rely is my music. It gets me throught. And ofcourse Kalen. I dunno, it's weird, when I was with Ano, I didn't really express myself, and he really didn't know who I was. When ever I was depressed, it was really hard to talk to him. I would always go to Kalen, because Kalen helped me out. One time, I was getting really mad at Ano, because he never had time for me.(And he still didn't the last month we were together) and I was tlaking to him on the phone, and I was going to ask if he wanted to do something today, and right when I was going to he is like I got to go, my friends are here. Ano never had time for me in the end, only his friends. but ya anyways I hang up the phone after he got off the phone too, and I just threw the phone spazed out, went to my room crying and slitting my rist. Then I need fresh air to calm down. And I called Kalen up and we went and did something. When I got back home, I was really happy, talking to Kalen how I was pissed. And Ano and I never had that kind of bond. And another thing was, Ano was a punk, and I was a metalhead. Our diffrences were so different. I always had to listen to punk, nad I could never listen to my music, so to him he thinks that music is nothing to me. Altho music is my life, I would die with out it. I would go insane, altho I am starting to think I am becoming a lunitic. Anyways ya it was werid. Kalen and I get along great, the 1st time I went out with him, we were madly inlove and I never got mad at him, he understood me so much and I thoguht nothing could break us apart. But then Tasha stoll him away from me. whcih I will never forgive ehr, because she should learn to back off. But now I am back with Kalen, which means no worries =).
Another person I can taalk to is Carl. It's rpetty cool. But it would be weird us hanging out if Ano was there. bah. But ya talking to Carl is pretty cool. He is my internet buddy and I can talk to him about my problems too. And it really helkps altho he thinks he isn't much help. And Carl understands me alot. He says I am a girl mini version of him in grade 10. hehe odd.
Argh, I am right now listening to Guns 'n' Roses - Paradise City. It's almost over ='(. Everytime I listen to Guns 'n' Roses, it reminds me of Kalen. Because the first time I talked to him was on the net, and we were talking about bands and he told me he was listening to Guns 'n' Roses - Sweet Child of Mine. and then he said on MSN OOOH! sweet child on mine. And it just makes me remember the first time I talked to him =). I miss Kalen. Him and his stupid essay =S BOO URNS!! haha But I get to spend time with him after school Wednsday, yay! =D. I can't wait. And Saturday it's Janel's b-day and I burnt her a CD. You don't have to bring gifts, but I would feel bad, even if I dind't bring a card. But I made her a card too. yay! Well I don't knwo what else to tlak about and it's 8:50 PM. So I am going to go. ttyl bye bye *hugs to all*
--uGLY aNDRea
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Tuesday, November 26th
Today is another fucking boring didly day. My foot hurts like hell =|. I just ate 2 mini pizzas and a glasses of chocolate milk. My mommy called and told me I have to be home around 7:00PM. She has something special for my brother and I. I'm scared lol. She is going to take me away. Yes right now I am talking to Carl on MSN. yay! And I am watching T.V. I am going to go for now. I am going to write later to tell you what the "surprise" was, hehe.
ttyl bye bye *hugs to all*
--uGLY aNDRea
9:16 PM
OMG MY FUCKING GOD!!!! THE SURPRISE WAS KORN TICKETS!!!! HOLLY SHIT..Walley had an early christmas gift for my brother and I. and he said he had to pull a few strings and pulls out 2 tickets. Give me one and I look and it say KoRn, and I scream ran downstairs to show my friends and I was on the floor so fucking happy and then I was like crying because I was so happy. I am so hyped up for it. My cheeks hurt!!! I am soooo fucking happy=) x million. *breaths* Well Ash and I made cookies. Corey was so fucking loud and hyper. And when they left I got in shit. =| boo urns!! fack. I am going to go. Altho I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. haha ttyl bye bye *hugs to all*
--uGLY aNDRea
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