X-Peeps (this may very well be the stupidest story you've ever read)
by Obi-Wago Kenobi
Disclaimer: I own the rappers even less than I own the comic book characters I've amalgamated in this story. I also take no responsibility for injuries resulting from reading this story. So if you have to hit your head after reading this, it's not my fault.
Feel free to complain about this story, it's something like a bastard child of my brain. Compliments will be well recieved also though.
"YOU SEE OFFICER," 2Pacalypse started, "ME AND THE HORSEMEN WERE JUST CHILLING ON THE CORNER WHEN BADSKANI ROLLED UP. WE HAD TO PROVE THEY ARE NOT OF THE STRONG."
Officer Castle stared at the 9 foot tall gangbanger. The story just wasn't making much sense, but nothing did when dealing with these mutant gangstas. He rubbed his temples, 'I wish we could go back to the Bloods and Crips. They were easier to handle.'
"IF YOU HAVE ANYMORE QUESTIONS, RUN THEM BY MY LAWYER. I'M OUT." The Eternal Walker stood up, and as his name suggested, walked out of the room.
Castle picked up the phone. 'I hate to do this, but there's no other choice. We need outside help.' He dialed the number, and prayed that nobody picked up.
"Yo, X-Crib. Professor Xzibit speaking."
"Xzibit, we've got a problem. There's a genetic turf war brewing. Sinister B.I.G. and P-Cable attempted to silence Nur today. Can you get your crew on it?"
"No problem, Officer Castle. I assume that the department has not officially called the X-Men?"
"Of course."
* * * * *
"You flonqed it up! That's it, plain and simple!"
"I wasn't the one that dropped my gat, fool!"
"Damnit, what is, is! Badskani Boy doesn't need to be torn up over this. There will be other times for us to eliminate 2Pacalypse. Luckily for you, I've got another ace up my sleeve. We'd just better hope nobody gave word to any of the other labels. Or the goddamned X-Men."
* * * * *
No Limit Upstarts brooded. They were supposed to be the ones destroying people, not Badskani Boy. Gamesmaster P finally said something. "Ughhh. Look yall know that there's something going down up north, and Badskani Boy is trying to eliminate 2Pacalypse. Bout it bout it. Do we wanna attack while they're weak, or wait for them to get rid of each other?"
Mystikortez and Shinobi Silkk looked at each other, and decided that hiding would be the better part of valor. So that's all you're going to hear about No Limit in this story. Ughhh.
* * * * *
"To me, my X-Men!" Professor Xzibit gazed at the amount of sheer power surrounding him.
Jean Grey-lo and LL Cyclops, Warren Gambit and Foxy Rogue, Beast Daddy Kane, Vanilla Iceman, and (of course) Ol Dirty Wolverine. These were the peacekeepers in the battle between Badskani Boy and 2Pacalypse.
LL Cyclops stepped to the forefront of the war room. "P-Cable made a move today, didn't he?"
* * * * *
"You've reached the EminMLF, we ain't here to answer your call. Please leave your name and number, and the Chaos Bringer will answer your call as soon as he can. *BEEP*"
"Son of a flonq, pick up the phone! We're going up against 2Pacalypse, stab your eyes!"
"Hi. My name is-"
"Stryfe?"
"What? My name is-"
"Stryfe!"
"Who? My name is *chckachkca* Stryfe Shady!"
"Bright Lady... Stryfe, this is P-Cable. We're going up against -"
"I heard you Badskani'son. Count me in, but the EminMLF deserted me again. Third time this week."
* * * * *
To be delete- I mean continued! In part two look for the climactic battle scene, and a very special cameo!