The art of emotion.

I think it’s safe to say that it’s not scientific.
Some would say too commonplace to be profound.
There’s no known mathematical equation.
Yet, it’s what makes the world go ‘round.

Have you ever seen something so ugly you cried?
Have you ever seen something so beautiful you cried?

One instance will make the sensitive minded want to flee.
The other, even the hardhearted are curiously drawn to.

No apologies, no excuses.
We want what is beautiful, to feel that which is ecstasy, to dream of a life that is better,
better, the best it can be. We do, don’t we?

It is our not so simple choice to fill our spirits with that which enlightens us, or weep with unfulfillment.
Sometimes both I guess.

We can open our eyes, in fact we have all opened our eyes to a sunrise so splendid that
our minds must suddenly remember to tell our bodies to breathe, to survive involuntarily
once again.
A simple global choice at hand actually, do we take the time to gaze at it longingly, with
awe and admiration?
Or perhaps pass a fleeting comment and then look away.
How many people everyday walk to the water’s edge, climb a hilltop, gaze from an inner
city balcony or wherever they find their physical self, and just drink it all in? Don’t we love the feeling?
Crave the experience?
Desire to touch such beauty?
However, forever from afar.

Have you ever looked with your eyes but seen with your heart?

Locked eyes with another person and felt suddenly different in some indefinable way?
Falling in love for the very first time...
...or very second time...
...or even the third.
Perhaps at first sight?
Each time completely different, and still in some ways the same.
The joy of discovery, what is to be learned about ourselves and what brings us an inner
glow. The complexity of such emotion, feeling beautiful, yet still at times standing in
front of the mirror convinced we are anxiously plain.
Sighhh and recite outloud....”Nobody’s perfect.”
The embrace of another, the many moments shared, the love made, and yet somehow it wasn’t meant to work.
So we watch our lover close the door for the final time.
Yet the memories remain, and if untarnished, we still love the person starring in
them...however, maybe sadly, forever from afar.

The definition of love at first sight.
The miracle of life sprung from our own flesh or the flesh of those we love.
The feel, the distinct beauty of a newborn baby.
Holding onto tiny fingers, feeling the eternal promise of greatness within their grasp.
Watching them grow.
Watching them grow away.
Love that never falters, born from our souls. Nothing changes while they completely
change before our eyes, while being seen with our hearts.
Facts are facts, love remains love, and so we step back and let them live, make their
choices and love them completely, regardless, and many times with emotional restraint, however, forever from afar.

Too much complexity, intensity begging to be tempered.

Looking for the sunrise/sunset, breezing day to day, stopping to embrace a friend.
Always unconsciously but purposely searching for balance, determined to only let joy tip
the scale in favor.

Saturday Afternoon Cinema.
After all, isn’t this a pretty effective diversion? Two hours well spent, I hope.
People we will never know portraying people we would likely never want to be.
Escapism for a paltry $4.25.
Pretty cheap thrill indeed.

Dimming lights.
Coming Attractions.
Shhhhh.....remember your fellow cinema patrons. Rudeness is reserved for the lobby.
Feature Presentation.
The impending reaction....

His Romeo was my first time to swoon for him. I mean REALLY swoon. Isn’t our first
always special? In his own way he deflowered me all over again that day.
I’d seen him before, but never like this. I wasn’t alone, there were many there that day that
had never seen him like this. The air was thick with this feeling of captivation. Suddenly
for some strange reason we were all weak and slumped in our seats.

There he was, he of the sexy vowel drenched name, wearing the appropriate tag of
Romeo, the words of Shakespeare rolling off of his tongue.
A dreamy screenful of his visage. Such electricity in the air.
This man should come with a health hazard warning.
Or just perhaps a disclaimer.
“Prepare to be changed. To be touched from afar.”
And we were, we all were. At least the females there in attendance I guess. I honestly
don’t remember seeing any other men on the planet that day.

He possesses such beauty, such charisma, such sex appeal and rare talent.
I cherish the way I feel while gazing at him....on film, on paper, the medium is no matter.
He can indeed be all mine in my mind, my private and perfect lover.
I can daydream of his lips on mine, his hands on my body, his laugh tickling my ears.
A definite perk of fantasizing, sheer perfection in EVERY way.

So with joy I find a place for this love ever so gently in my life. With ease it sort of
self-categorized itself as another temperance to the ugly, the lesser, the mundane and
unworthy.
My conscience simply filed it away to conjure up at a mere whim.

“L”
“Leonardo”
“Lotus Blossoms”
“Love”
(Alphabetically of course.)

Lotus Blossoms?
Outside my back door there is a tropical pond full of night blooming Lotus Blossoms. For
the mere price of an hour’s time (maybe less, who’s watching the clock?) I can watch
them open, SEE them live. I can never be a part of their splendor, only an observer. But I
love them just the same, like so many other unexpected glories of life.
And if I close my eyes I can see myself, happy and soulfully pure...
Enveloped in that sunrise/sunset...
Taking the Lotus Bloom as an offering of love from the world’s most beautiful man.
All the ingredients are nestled in my psyche.
Languishing in the fantasy of him and feeling still a bit more special even when I open my
eyes again to find ....

That the truth is still the truth.
...And I don’t love the man in my bed at night any less, or treasure the embraces or
laughter of friends and family any less either.

But still...the quest continues, and I don’t feel alone.
We are seekers I think...
Love is love, joy is joy. We can live it, be it, make up our mind’s eye with it.
It’s not scientific, it defies explanation...
It fires our inspiration....
And gives birth to our hopes and dreams.

Whether a sunrise we will never touch...
...A flower that picked which cannot maintain splendor in our hands....
Or the world’s most beautiful man whose personal love we can never have...
We still love....and we can let it paint our world.
...Feel the joy of it and let it smiley face our days...
It’s there for the taking...
All of it....even if some of it is,
However, forever from afar.