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Waflle
This is Celestial Mechanics first book, should the circulation reach a personal estimate I have set to determine when it is a success will be Ways to cook a Twiglet" will be available in time for the Christmas season. If not in printed form by then it will certainly be available in electronic format for PDA or PC viewing. When this little beauty hits the streets I have a strong feeling that the good ship Celestial Mechanics will lurch and change course dramatically as it's Captain becomes engaged with this vital new Twiglet mission. The world is obviously lacking a Twiglet Evangelist leaving a vast expanse of "taste space" in which the mighty Twiglets would be able to roam magnificently. Someone must look beyond the commonly prevailing vision of a Twiglet as a piece of wood flecked with Marmite that our parents handed out to guests and signaled the start of a dinner party. Jacobs Twiglets I remember were hotly followed into the dinner party set market by Cadburys Matchmakers which resembled Twiglets they didn't compete but formed a parenthetic partnership. Over the generations it is only fashion that ever really changes, taste remains a constant however and it is this human sense that Twiglets owe the high rank originally attributed by our forebears. This is proved by the admirable way in which Twiglets have managed to survive until today. They remind me slightly of the homeless professionals that I used to meet all the time when I also lived on the streets. Scratching a living now as they urking in dusty pub corners, broken into pieces less than a third of the size they should be and packed inside of airless opaque bags that cut off from the world completely until being fortunate enough to be released into the occasional lager lout that passes through. The marked difference in survival strategies from their proud 17cm long ancestors to even had the ability of providing a brief weather report to their sophisticated clients by sticking to each another and staining ladies satin gloves if a rainstorm was nearby. So these poor sad and humiliated little Twiglets now living in rough neighborhoods with potato crisps ,pork rinds and Pepperoni sticks as neighbors instead of nobilities like cheese olives and wine with whom their ancestors once lived certainly deserve more respect than they presently receive. Indeed it is now my life mission and purpose should no one else take on the task of repatriating Twiglets to the noble territory they should rightfully occupy. It is almost criminal in my humble opinion for a global company like Danone to acquire Twiglets creators Jacobs Biscuits, and then not even making an effort to re-engage them with a market segment they have already proven to have an enormous appeal to. Intelligent free thinking people who love food but victims of fashion who have forgotten an entire universe of taste and texture that if rekindled could set the world ablaze. With the excellent global food marketing and distribution resources available to Danone and a committed evangelist to personally champion the humble Twiglets of yesteryear and restore their deserved nobility. The good ships captain must be as mad as a box of frogs to abandon a gravely important mission in designing some of the electronics innovations used when medical intervention is required to assist humans with conception. If there were any other crew aboard though he is aware of what they would be mutinously muttering about. "Where is mad Cap'n takin us now, twas only last week he told I baby making was more important than anything else in the world so there was no point in looking for any more adventure. I wanted to chase a big whale then now he is going to chase some lost ocean called "The Twiglet Zone" to load up some fancy spice or something that the whole world is going to beat a path to our gangplank for if we ever get back to Plymouth. He's gone really crazy now, never heard of the fucking Twiglet Zone, you watch I'll bet we all end up getting completely wrecked at the end of it. That is my basic theory of Twiglets. My visions for Twiglets are much simpler to explain for example: I can see one day in the future "fresh loose Twiglets" being sold on a market stall probably next to the ginger roots or garlic. I also see a brand new spice bottle suddenly appearing in gourmet kitchens spice racks when word leaks out that a recipe book that contains 114 recipes that are virtually guaranteed never to cause any guest to remark having tried before somewhere. To a serious foodphile this remark is almost as upsetting as the guest farting silently with deadly effect which destroys any of the subtle taste combinations they may have hoped to convey to the guests through an ancient art whose usual canvas is a dinner plate. |
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