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Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays

STAGES OF UNDERSTANDING:
TRUE ACCEPTANCE

Some parents get this far. Most may love their child without finally accepting the child's life. Many reach the point where they can also celebrate their child's uniqueness. These fortunate ones view homosexuality as a legitimate expression of human sexuality. When asked if they wish that their child could be changed, they respond, "I'd prefer to change our homophobic society so my child could live his life without rejection and fear."

Parents at this stage face up to their own guilt, that they are a part of a guilty society - a homophobic society. They reflect on the gay jokes they've told and laughed at over the years. They begin to understand the problems they unknowingly created for their child. This coming-to-terms with themselves may lead them to view the oppression of all gays and lesbians in a new light. They begin to speak out against the oppression. They talk to friends about the issues involved as a means of educating others. They support gay friends of their son or daughter. They attend parent meetings to help other parents. In short, they become committed to a cause and find a way that is comfortable for them to make a positive contribution. Some do it boldly - others work at it quietly.

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[Before Coming Out to your Parents] [Be Yourself] [Our Daughters and Sons] [About Our Children] [Definitions Used]

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