Group MSTing 1
"Winning Love by Daylight", by Stephen Ratliff
MSTed by Brendan Herlihy, Kevin Gowen, David Thurston
Take me to this MSTing NOW!
Let me summarize the plot of this Ratliff story.
OK, now that THAT'S out of the way...
You think I'm kidding. Listen: because Marrissa is smothering her newborn child Sara after her kidnapping by the Borg, the crew of the Enterprise vote her an extended leave on the planet Essex (if this was an option, why hasn't it happened before?). There, she undergoes intense ego-therapy, being assured both by Jay and ship's counselor Martin that she's the most wonderful queen of the universe in the entire world. Martin urges her to climb a mountain so that she might "find herself" (you were hoping he'd say "get lost", admit it). Jay and Martin discuss Ris's problems over lunch when a monster attacks, and futuristic Klingon Sailor Senshi swoop in and save the day.
Sprinkle in three PG-rated sex scenes, far too many references to Marrissa's panties, and a tender climax where Marrissa counsels Jackie to be just as zealous in her power plays as Ris was, and it's soup yet.
Oh, and Jay got Ris pregnant again, reinforcing just how Catholic Ratliff's universe really is.
HOST SEGMENTS
Opening: Tom Servo plays "Who Wants To Use Mike Nelson's Credit Cards?". His lifelines are less than helpful.
Segment One: Pearl and Brain Guy are trying to bring Ratliff's disgusting sex romp "A Different Path" down to "acceptable levels", and set Bobo on fire.
Segment Two: Tom and Crow "vote" Mike a little vacation. The coup ends pretty much as you expect it would. Which isn't a bad thing.
Segment Three: Gypsy counsels Mike at the Satellite Kingdom Cafe, and events parallel Ratliff's bizarre restaurant interlude.
Segment Four: Tom and Crow show Mike the self-actualization opportunities afforded by: Camping! In the future!
Segment Five: The SOL'ers wobble off the Tilt-O-Whirl that was today's story. Tom does a skit on how one might pitch the story to Hollywood, which revolves around reusing the wonderful movie title "Ten Things I Hate About You". We get the joke, but Tom drives it deep, deep, deep into the ground. Bobo catches fire again.
Stinger: Jay, blithely reciting Ris's titles... again.
REFLECTIONS:
About a third of the way through this verbal tornado, I decided Ratliff's writing had improved. Then ten pages later I changed my mind again. The actual mechanics are better- the sentences are understandable, at least, and he's found the spellchecker- but all of that is undermined by the sheer pointlessness of it all. This story has no reason to exist. It purports to create a conflict, Marrissa wrestling with who she is and what she stands for and who she wants to be, but its heart isn't in it. One can almost picture Steve himself sitting in the psychiatrist's chair: "No Marrissa! Don't talk like that! You ARE special! The universe NEEDS you!" Yeah, right.
Particularly galling is the segment where Marrissa is supposed to be at the mountaintop, asking herself the hard questions, when all she really does is review yet again all the jobs she's had and titles she's held. Vague allusions are made to "changes she was going to make", but she then immediately intimates to Jackie that she has no regrets whatsoever about her career path, and strongly urges Jackie to follow. Yes, Mara Dearest.
But enough with the negativity! Man was this a gas to riff! I'm so lucky to have gotten a shot at Ratliff before I die. And the "Moon Kingdom Cafe" skit is my all-time favorite. When Tom proclaims, "I am the pretty princess Sailor Tom, eternal warrior from the Frou-Frou land of Lollipop Lane!", I still can't contain a smile.
Show me the next episode guide.
Egad, Homes! Dreadfully clever of you!