‘OH . . . MY . . . GOD!'
Regan suddenly choked on a half eaten pretzel and started coughing. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't also laughing hysterically . . . but she was. Oh dear. Regan's face turned red as she coughed and laughed, pounding on her sternum.
Spike and Lucius heard her from the livingroom and ran to her side, smacking her on the back until she raised a hand saying ‘I'm okay'. Her eyes started filling up with tears. Her face turned back to its normal white, but she continued to laugh for a good two more minutes.

When she finally calmed down she looked up at Spike and Lucius. Lucius looked worried. Spike looked like he was thinking ‘Mop's insane'. That just made her laugh more.

‘Mop?' Spike asked.
‘Yes?'
‘What's so funny?'
‘Ohhh,' she smiled, ‘It's just this story,' she pointed to the blue screen of her laptop, ‘Fucking hilarious!'
‘Watch your language,' said Spike and Lucius in unison.
Spike leaned over Regan's shoulder and scanned the words on the screen. A disgusted look slid over his face and he shook his head and recoiled from the computer, ‘That is sick.' he said in half-disgust, half-amusement.
‘It gets better . . .' Regan grinned, scooting over so Spike could sit next to her, ‘Wait til you get to the part about your manly weapon.'
Lucius let out a bark of laughter and swooped in on the mouse, scrolling down, ‘Ooooh where chere . . . I have to read that.'
‘Wank off man.' Spike growled, ‘Perverted Frog.'
Lucius just smirked at Regan, sending her into another fit of giggles.

Lucius and Spike sat down on either side of Regan and the three began to read. They were silent for a long moment as they read, then Lucius broke the silence with a burst of laughter . . .
‘Merde! There it is!' he said as he read the passage Regan has spoken of, ‘Man, I had no idea. When are you going to tell Drusilla?' Lucius chuckled.
Spike smacked him hard, up back side of the head.
‘Oooo, don't get pissed with him Spike,' Regan purred, hugging her ‘father's' arm, ‘Lucius isn't the one that wrote this . . . um . . . this um . . . well . . . this.'
Spike couldn't help but smirk. Regan had this awful way of making his smile. He laughed and wrapped a protective arm around her back.
 
 

TWO STORIES LATER . . .

‘Bullocks!' Spike chuckled as he read one particularly ridiculous passage.
‘I don't know Will, I've heard stuff much the same come out of your mouth.'
‘How?'
Lucius shrugged, ‘Paper walls.'
Spike grimaced at Lucius and looked at Regan for help . . . she just shrugged and smirked.
‘You've been known to.'
‘Hell that's it . ..  Remind me Mop to never take you two along to the orient again. Couple of peepin' bloody toms '
Regan just laughed and scrolled down.
 

***

TWO HOURS LATER

‘Spike?' Regan asked . . . not even peeling her eyes off the screen.
‘Yes?' Spike said, his eyes not moving from the monitor. He has his specs on now..
‘Who's Faith?'
Lucius laughed, but didn't take his black eyes off the screen.
‘I have absolutely no bleeding idea Mop.'
‘Is that even possible?' Lucius said . . . raising an eyebrow.
‘Don't ask me.' smirked Regan.
‘Will? Et tu?'
‘No bloody idea mate . . . my God how do they fit so many people on the bed?'
‘Is anyone else seeing a choo-choo train scenario in their heads?'
‘Regan!'
‘Well Lucius how the hell else would that . . .' Spike nodded at the screen, ‘be executed.'
Lucius smirked, ‘Je ne c'est pas Will, you tell me.'
Spike smacked Lucius up the back of his head again.
Regan giggled, pointing to a phrase on the screen, ‘I swear that's illegal.'
Lucius smirked and scrolled down, ‘The grammar is awful. Someone ought to tell ce femme to take a writing course.'
‘Someone ought to tell her to take a cold shower.'
 

 ***

‘Spike?'
‘Mm hmm?'
‘Are you gay?'
‘Shut up Mop.'
 

 ***

‘Again with this sappy shite! Do these humans really think I'm such a bloody mug?'
‘Apparently.'
‘If I read another story about you and a Slayer, Will, I'm going to rip my eyeballs out of their sockets.'
‘Mop, find another story with a Slayer.'
‘Tais-toi Will.'
‘Don't you tell me to shut up.'
‘Regan . . . chere, try to find a story with Dru in it.'
‘Shut your hole Lucius.'
‘Both of you be quiet or I'm shutting this thing down.'
 

 ***

FIVE MINUTES LATER

‘Again with this Faith!'
‘Yeah, who the hell is she?'
‘Ohhhh, come on . . . Dru would never do that!'
‘How do you know?'
‘Well she's never done it to me!'
‘Oh God . . . I can't read anymore of this.'
‘Why not?'
‘It's mummy!'
‘Oui . . . et?'
‘And it's MY MUMMY!'
‘Oh God . . . who the hell wrote this tripe! Mop, have you ever known Dru to say anything like that?'
‘What?'
‘That!'
‘Ha! Hell no!'
‘Drusilla would never say that . . .'
‘Thank you.'
‘Exactly.'
‘She's insane but she's not that insane.'
Spike and Regan both smacked Lucius up back side of the head.
 

 ***

Drusilla danced in the front door just as the sun was creeping up over the building tops of Paris. She had had sooooo much fun with Polly and Anjanette. A regular girls night out. They should do it again, she decided as she slipped her coat off, in another sixty years. Dru danced her way across the livingroom of the penthouse flat towards the eerie blue light that was coming from Regan's playroom. She peered into the room, slowly sticking hr head around the doorway, to see Lucius, Regan and Spike sitting in a little row. Their backs were turned to her, all staring at the screen of Regan's new computer toy. Totally absorbed.

Dru's red embroidered scarf slipped off her shoulders. . . ‘Oops.'
The three sat bolt upright with a start and Regan slammed the screen of the laptop down. Breaking the computer. Spike spun around - actually blushing - jumped up from his seat and stepped over to Dru.

‘Ducks, how was the reunion?'
‘Oooh, it was so much fun. Polly brought her boyfriend and we had him for tea.'
‘Sounds lovely Mummy,' Regan said . . . scooting off the bench and walking to her parents. She gave Dru a big hug, burying her blushing face in Dru's hair. She looked at Spike over Dru's shoulder. He made a face at her and Regan had to do everything she could to hold back a nervous laughing jag.

Lucius got up from his seat on the bench and stretched . . . calm and cool, ‘Well, bon nuit a vous Dru. Chere.'
‘Bon nuit Lucius,' smiled Drusilla.
‘Where the Hell do you think you're going?' Spike said, stepping in Lucius' way so he couldn't exit the room.
‘A ma chambre.'
‘Sweet dreams Lucius,' smiled Dru. Spike knew an order when he heard one and stepped aside for Lucius to pass.
‘I better go to bed too.'
‘Alright Mop. Good night.'
‘You too,' Regan kissed Spike and Dru good night and walked to her bedroom to get changed.

Spike and Drusilla stood in the corridor for a few minutes, holding each other close as Dru re-told the nights events. She was horribly excited about seeing Polly and Anjanette again. The three vampires hadn't actually seen each other since the McCarthy hearings.

When Dru finished her story about ten minutes later she and Spike started down the corridor to their room. They walked over the threshold just as Lucius stepped out of his room in his boxers.

‘Oh, bon nuit Dru.'
Spike started nibbling on Dru's neck, giving Lucius a definite signal to shove off . . . Lucius ignored him, ‘I hope you had fun with the girls.'
‘Mmm hmm.'
‘Regan opened her bedroom door and stuck her head out into the corridor, ‘Lucius, are you going to brush my hair?'
‘Une moment chere.'
‘K . . . night mummy, night Spike.'
‘Night Mop,' Spike shot back ‘let me close this damn door'
Regan and Lucius got the point.
Spike shrugged his shirt off and threw it on the divan under the window. He was getting impatient . . . his eyes were hurting for all those hours staring at the computer screen and he wanted some sleep. Dru wasn't moving from the door though and it looked like she was about to recount the entire nights events to Lucius any minute now. He stepped up behind her and slipped an arm around her tiny waist.
‘Dru, let's go to bed now eh love?'
‘Hmmm, yes. I'm tired Spike.'
‘Well then lets us get to bed now.'
Dru pressed her cheek against his and smiled, ‘Mmm, yes lets.'
‘Lucius I'm tired.' Regan called from down the corridor.
Lucius was still standing against the wall opposite Spike and Drusilla's bedroom door . . . looking like he wanted to say something and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
‘Lucy, what'd you want?'
‘Nothing Will. Nothing at all.'
Spike grabbed the tiny gilt doorknob with his spare hand and started to close the door. Just as the door was about to close, Lucius stepped half a step towards it and smirked,

‘Dru?'
Dru stopped Spike from closing the door completely, ‘Yes Lucius dear?'
‘Do you have any idea who Faith is parce que William has no idea?'
Spike's eyes shot wide open, his face turned beet red and Dru gave Lucius a confused look . . . Regan exploded with laughter at the other end of the corridor

‘What?' Dru said as Spike slammed the door closed in Lucius' face.

Lucius looked confused and slightly hurt as he turned to the still-laughing Regan,

‘What! I was serious!'