Story by Raye Johnsen
Song by Savage Garden
******************************
'I Knew I Loved You' is copyright Darren
Hayes, Daniel Jones and
EMI Music. Fushigi Yuugi is copyright Yuu
Watase, Flower Comics,
Studio Perriot, Pioneer Animation and Viz
Communications. All
rights remain theirs, I have no claims whatsoever
to anything, and I'm
not making any money out of this. Tamahome,
however, will
cheerfully accept any money you care to send,
while Tasuki will
appreciate any donations of sake you care
to make.
The background of this page was found at animewallpapers.com.
I
would like to emphasise that the creators
of this background have no
association with me or this fanfic.
******************************
Kourin rolled over, lifting her head from
the pillow. False dawn.
Great. Just great. That meant she hadn't
been able to sleep longer than
- what? Two hours this time?
She just couldn't settle down tonight. A combination
of an unfamiliar
bed and nerves still a-jangling from the
earthshake that morning, the
one that had totally rearranged her twin's
life, made for a light sleep.
One that was disturbed by everything from
an owl flying by outside to
the sleep-noises her twin, sleeping in the
room next-door, made while
unconscious.
Talking of which, if Houki let out just one
more of those breathy,
snuffy sounds that were not quite snores,
usually soothing but right
now the most annoying thing in the
world...
A soft, hoarse sound, like a deep, heavy breath,
came from next door.
Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't have
even been heard in the
next room; but now-
THAT WAS IT!!
Kourin flung herself out of her bed, charging
over the threshold of
her rooms and the small amount of verandah
that stretched between
the Chou twins' rooms, and into Houki's apartment.
Already Kourin could see the differences.
Her rooms were already
bright with patterned cloths flung over the
pieces of furniture. Houki's
walls were unadorned, but her furniture was
drawn into distinctly
different arrangements from what they had
been that afternoon, subtly
drawing attention to the flower arrangement
sitting on the table
against one of the walls. Kourin nodded in
spite of herself. Not her
style, but attractive nonetheless.
Another soft snuffly sound from the inner
room reminded her of her
mission: to come and destroy her younger
sister's repose. Usually it
was Houki who couldn't sleep in an unfamiliar
place and kept her up.
Turnabout, Kourin decided, was simply fair
play.
Standing in the doorway, she looked into her
sister's room. A
dressing-robe hung neatly over a chair, and
the boy's robes that Houki
wore daily were folded on a bench at the
foot of her pallet bed. Houki's
face was turned away from the door, and her
hair gleamed amethyst in
the candle-light.
Kourin blinked. A candle, still lit, sat on
the low table that had been
pulled close to the pallet. Judging by the
torrent of candledrips
down the stub's side, it had been burning
all night. Beside it, an
inkstone and brush lay crossed, as if the
brush had been set down for
an instant while the writer rested her hand,
and a book lay closed
beside them, a scrap of Houki's favourite
blue ribbon marking a place
near the middle.
Kourin smiled, and quietly settled herself
at the table. Houki had a
habit, since she was very small, of writing
of an evening in what the
family called her 'daybook'. Sometimes it
was poetry, sometimes a
fantastic tale, and sometimes simply an account
of the day. She had
started soon after learning how to hold her
brush and draw her first
characters. She had taught Kourin in turn,
but Kourin had not learned
many of the less common characters. Girls,
after all, didn't need as
much education as boys, and Kourin had none
of Houki's love of
learning.
Houki was very private about her daybook,
and she didn't like it if
someone read the entries without an invitation.
Which made it very
enticing. And Kourin was Houki's elder
twin, not just 'someone'.
I wonder what she thought of yesterday?
Kourin
wondered. She
picked up the daybook, flipping past the
first page, which read, "Chou
Ryuuen's Daybook. Do NOT read. This means
YOU, Kourin" to the
place marked by the ribbon.
Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
"What a day! So much has happened and I'm
really tired, but I
have to talk to someone - and I can't talk
to Kourin about this. It's
really strange, that - I've always been
able to tell her anything,
before. But this is different."
How is it different? Kourin thought, angrily.
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
"Now I know what the teacher at the school
meant when he
recognised me as Nuriko, and why he couldn't
explain when I asked
him about it all.
This morning I was all packed up, ready to
go home to the shop. We
were bidding goodbye to Kourin, and I could
see
the chief guard
wince when I said we should do a little
sightseeing before we left
Eiyou. Is it my fault that Konan
has such a beautiful and fascinating
capital? Kourin wouldn't let me see any
of it on the way here."
With good reason, she thought. You
were gawking at everything. A
marble frieze had to be minutely examined
and you practically
jumped off the bridge, you were
leaning so far over to try to see the
boats!
"Anyway, that's where we were when it
happened. It felt like when
we were three and tried to help Mai with
the washing, and I jumped
in the tub onto the sheets. Mai and Himeko
picked up the sheet with
me on it, stretched it between them, and
snapped
me
up into the air,
so that I bounced so high!
It was fun when I was three, it was a sheet
and it was Mai and
Himeko whom I loved and trusted. It was
not
fun this morning, when
it was the ground, the Gods Whom I do not
know, and I'm fifteen.
I'm old enough to know about pain and injury
now. I'm old enough to
be scared.
The ground fell away from beneath my feet,
and then rose up again.
Everything tilted crazily, and I found myself
on my hands and knees,
trying to brace myself as everything swung
and tilted.
I have never been in an earthquake before."
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
"It finally stopped. I climbed to my feet
- and that's the word to
use. I really felt as secure on my feet
as a newborn foal. But I got
there and looked around.
Silence. Pure and suffocatingly thick as
sweet honey, it held us all
fast in our places, in the courtyard of
the royal palace. All was still.
Then, as gently as a tent of billowing silk,
the main section of the
Palace collapsed in on itself.
We all stood and stared for one long, horrible, painful minute.
Then the screams began."
I know that it might sound more than a little
Crazy - but I believe
"I sprinted over to the main wing and began
hauling out pieces of
building. Hefting them over my shoulder
was easy - I've never felt
so strong before!
Kourin told me later that I managed to fling
the pieces of masonry
right into just that place in the
courtyard that the nobles of the
Court were assembling, and that I managed
to scare a few of them
into gibbering."
Kourin smiled as she remembered that. The
sight of those
supercilious toadies reduced to gibbering
with shock as walls and
doors and windows came flying out of the
air directly at them had
been a fine antidote to her own terror. Houki
had managed to convert
a few of them into priests of Suzaku right
on the spot when one of her
walls just missed.
"I felt so good when I lifted one
of the pieces, and a young girl
scrambled out. She bowed so low, stammering
thanks, and a servant
steered her gently away. She was wounded
and her bleeding was
really bad, but because I got her out, she
was with the healers in time
and she'll be fine. That's something I'm
really proud of."
So am I. Oh, little sister, so am I.
"There were more - a couple of old men, a
few servants, but I had to
keep lifting. Something was still
pushing me, until I lifted the piece
that was closest to the ground, and I saw
him.
He was a boy, maybe the same age as Elder
Brother. But he is the
most beautiful person I've ever seen, and
I never thought anyone
would surpass Elder Brother's beauty. His
face is elegant and his
form is slender and fine. And on his neck
glowed a birthmark. It
was as fine as the rest of him; an elegant
hand had traced the
character for 'Star' in crimson fire on
his skin, and I think him as
beautiful as a star."
Kourin stared at the brushed ink on the page
before her. Houki! How
can you say such things? You've gotten
a crush, haven't you!
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
"His eyes opened, so slowly I was afraid
for a second that I was
too late and he was dead.
I was wearing my blue shirt, the one that
barely covers my chest
binding. I don't know why; I wasn't in the
usual 'I'm not what you
think I am, and you can't guess' mood that
I'm in when I wear it.
I just had to wear something that showed
my collarbone today, and
I think I just figured out why: it was so
he
could see my birthmark.
He smiled at me and murmured, 'Hello, Nuriko.'
I stared. How did
he know that name? That it was my
name? How did
I
even know
that? 'Stay, please,' he whispered, and
then a swarm of servants
descended upon us, and he was ever-so-gently
swept away."
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
"I couldn't think what that all meant. 'Nuriko'?
Why had he called
me that?
I didn't understand. So I grabbed the arm
of one of the Court
officials who was hurring away. 'Please,
sir,' I asked, 'who is
"Nuriko"?'
He impatiently shook his sleeve from my hand.
'I have no time to
wonder about the identity of one of the
Suzaku No Shishiseishi!'
he snapped. 'Thank you for rescuing the
Emperor, but I must go
attend to His Majesty!'"
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
"I still can't believe that, but it is true.
I am Nuriko, who is a
Suzaku no Shishiseishi.
I went to the Imperial Library this afternoon,
after all the
confusion. It was completely unattended,
and I was able to find
information on the Suzaku no Shishiseishi
with little trouble.
Someone appeared to have been collecting
it.
I soon realized why."
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound more than a
little
Crazy - but I believe
"There will be seven guardians brought into
the world, to defend
and assist the Suzaku No Miko, who will
appear to protect Konan in
its time of worst danger. They will each
be granted a power of
Heaven, and shall be known by a birthmark
that appears and
disappears, apparently made of fire.
I couldn't help touching my birthmark - no,
my seishi symbol as I
read that. I am Nuriko. The Third Seishi.
The Seishi of Earth and
Strength, marked as the Willow.
And the Emperor's birthmark - it wasn't a
birthmark either. It
was the mark of Hotohori, the Second Seishi,
marked as the Star."
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
"When I left the Library, I went to Kourin
and told her that I had
to stay around the Court, did she have any
ideas? And before I
knew it, she managed to track down that
pompous arrogant git from
yesterday and present herself (!) as Chou
Houki, who had arrived
to be placed in the Imperial Harem that
day, as her sister had the
day before."
I'll get you to admit you're a girl yet,
Houki, Kourin thought smugly.
It was all right when we were children
and Father had to have you be
a boy so that he could say he'd sired
a legitimate son, but we're
growing up now. You're going to be a woman,
not a man, when
you're adult, so you'd better get used
to being a girl.
"The Harem Master was scrambling all over
himself to give 'Houki'
appropriate quarters, and when Kourin suggested
that 'she'd' like to
be near 'her' sister, he gave me (Kourin
- US) the rooms next door.
So we have that beautiful garden, with its
private bath-house and
fruit trees, all to ourselves. And I have
a double identity - again."
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you
"After the Palace settled down for the night,
I slipped out. I had
to talk with the Emperor. It's easier to
think of him as
Hotohori-sama, somehow.
I tried to reach out with my ki, to sense
where he was, and I did
get a very definite sense of his location,
so I set out to sneak my
way over there."
Kourin gasped. Houki, you didn't!
"It was hard to avoid all the guards, but I managed."
You did! Suzaku's tailfeathers, you did!
"I've never been in a boy's bedchambers before.
Well, not
counting Elder Brother. When I knocked on
the door, I didn't know
what to expect.
There was no answer, so I opened the door and slipped in.
He wasn't asleep, as I'd thought. Instead,
he was half-lying on a
padded bench in the 'reception' part of
the apartment.
'Hello, Nuriko,' he said softly. 'I wasn't expecting you.'
I felt a prickle through my ki as he said
it. 'Don't lie,' I replied. 'I
can feel it. You've been waiting for me
and you should be resting.'
He laughed. 'Yes, mother,' he said goodnaturedly.
'Call me Nuriko, Hotohori-sama. You're my star-brother, ne?'"
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
"'Yes, star-brother,' he said softly, closing
his eyes against a stab
of pain so sharp even I felt it.
'You're too tired for talking,' I told him.
I could feel the cracked
ribs that were making breathing so difficult
for him.
'Be back here by the first hour after dawn,
please,' he said. 'I'll
have to declare you to the Court, and that's
when morning Court
first assembles.'
'I will,' I promised. 'If you go straight to bed. Right now!'
He laughed, and stood up slowly. I watched
him anxiously as he
slowly made his way through his inner door.
He stopped in the
doorway and smiled.
'You care,' he said, wonderingly.
'Of course I do, Elder Brother,' I scolded
him lightly. 'If not for
my skill, you'd have worse than
cracks
in those ribs, you know!'
He laughed and shut the door.
So tomorrow Chou Ryuuen is to be presented to the Court!"
Kourin closed the book and replaced it beside
the inkstone and
candle. Standing, she looked over at her
sister.
"No wonder you're sleeping as if you're safely
at home," she
murmured. "You are home."
***************
Author's Notes:
On Nuriko's daybook: although diaries
in their current form are a
Western concept, many members of the courts
of both China and
Japan would keep accounts of their daily
lives, and these
manuscripts are currently the chief source
material for research into
the culture of the Oriental mediaeval period.
The writers would
record poetry composed by themselves or their
friends, stories,
rumours, gossip and social events. Some of
these diaries have been
translated and released to the general public
under various titles.
Although there is no indication that Nuriko
ever did keep a diary in
the manga or anime, there is no contradictory
evidence either, and I
believe that with the sort of pressure he
endured he would need an
outlet. Keeping diaries was fashionable so
I believe it likely he might
write one. (Although it is very unlikely
he would ever let anyone
read it!)