May KUPAL ka ba? As in Kissable, Unique, Pouting, Attractive Lips? Kung meron ka nito, then proudly shout to the world, ‘May KUPAL ako!’
Gusto mo bang matuto ng lahat ng bagay tungkol sa pagti-text? Pwes, mag-enroll ka na sa Institute for Young and Old Texters o I.Y.O.T. for short. Enroll now and be proud to say I’m a student of IYOT or an IYUTIN!
Newsflash – Sa pakikipagtulungan ng DILG at Jollibee, nasugpo ang isang malaking sindikato ng mga droga! Sinunog nila ang lahat ng nasamsam nila at tinawag nila ang proyekto ng Oplan: Langhap Sarap!
Newsflash – Gagawa rin ng pelikula sina Vince Hizon at Porky Pig ng animated na pelikula tulad ng ginawa ni Michael Jordan at Bugs Bunny na Space Jam. Ang titulo ng pelikula nila ay Pork and Vince.
Ayan na naman ako! Ang mga chain messages ay hindi totoo! Ito ay katarantaduhan lamang, pawang kalokohan at tatakutin ka lamang. Kagaguhan ito ng mga sira ulong walang magawa at mas tanga ang maniniwala sa mga gumagawa nito. Please pass this to 10 of your friends and you will have good luck. Ignore and you will DIE!
Kiss is a gamble. Sex is a gamble. Boys do the action and girls get the blame. They say you’re pretty, they say you’re fine. But 9 months later, they say ‘it’s not mine.’
Ringing tone received: Chikitam-chikititam-tam-tam-pitum-pam-pam-pitum-pampete-pete-petam-tam-tam-pitum-pam-pete-xtacy-xtano! Hunghang…
The simplest word I know is ‘I.’ The sweetest word I know is ‘Love.’ The one I could never forget is ‘You.’ In other words, I love you. Sorry ka, hindi sa iyo ‘yun, sa cell phone ko.
If you’re wet and hot and you’re all alone in your room and you need someone who will respond to your body heat… You know I’m the only one to consume your heat with my breathtaking style and power. Nagmamahal, your Standard Electric fan.
Dear God, thank you for all that You’ve given me. Forgive me for all my sins and may I never be as ugly as the one reading this now.
Last night I sent a flock of macho angels to guard you as you sleep. Early this morning, one of them returned without his briefs. Grabe ka, ha!
I want to see you and I really miss you but what can I do? I’m so far from you. So, I sent an angel to see you and he went back to say ang bait mo raw. Tarantado ka talaga, bata pa ‘yun, tinuturuan mo nang magsinungaling.
Let me kiss ur lips, let me feel ur teeth, let me taste ur tongue..SMILE! ds s ur FRIEND COLGATE! reminding u to brush ur teeth
Nxt wik COLOR CODING na ako sa mga ka txt ko para organized:
MON-smart
TUE-nice
WED-sweet
THUR-ugly
FRI-cute
SAT-totful
SUN-loving
so pano? til nxt thur!
Sorry if iv been secretive. am getting married nxt month. Pls dont tel any1. It wil just be a simple wedding. dont bring a gift, Just bring me a GROOM!!
Peping Cojuangco wil hold a preson 2moro 2 anounce dat Ador is his son and not Babalu's. Ador is his kid with Ai Ai de las Alas.
Sumtyms wen u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sumtyms wen worid, no 1 seers ur pain. Wen ur happy, no 1 sees ur smyl. Pero pag umutot ka, dba lahat titig sayo!?
News Flash!
Col. Corpus has new witness implicating Lacson to the murder of Ninoy Aquino. New witness out next week to link Lacson to Jose Rizal slay.
Confucious says if u r PSET w/ sum1, put urself in his SHOES n walk a mile. So wen he gets mad, u are a mile away n u have his SHOES! o hindi ba CONFUSING?
b careful when eating outside lyk in TGIF, CPK, Red Rbon, Shakeys, Saisaki, kamayan, Mcdo, Jolibee, Burger King, Piza Hut, etc..Wala naman.s Tataba ka lang!
May nakapagbalita sa akin na meron ka raw bagong VTEC...and tatak HONDA VTEC-LETA!!!
Try this amazing...
Think of any 2 digit #
take d first digit
multply it by 2
+7
-5
then add it to the
2nd digit.
now close ur eyes..
and dilim noh?
I asked God for a candle, the sun was given to me. I asked for a glass of water, the sea was given to me. I asked for a cute friend and you were given to me......si Lord talaga minsan palabiro!
d meaning of love is inexplicable... it can't b described simillarly by everyone-but one thing is 4 sure, love begins wid FRIENDS LANG KAMI!
50 yrs from now tanda na tayo!d na cute, wala na appeal, uugud-ugud na, nguya nganga, dala baston, ihi sa salawal. pro pag uso pa text, text pa rin kita.
"Love one another" If it won't work for you, just interchange the last two words :)
Ever heard of the 11th Commandment? GENESEX chapter 77 verse 69. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Wife, BUT if thy neighbor's wife INSISTS, thou shalt not RESIST." Please obey! =)
Nung una naiilang ako sayo!Di ako nagttxt kc bka dka FRIENDLY. Bt u proved me wrong. Napaka SWEET mo pala. Ngayon ko papatunayan na di lahat ng MONGOLOID ay WILD!
I saw u walking down the street. ur face, ur eyes, ur nose n ur lips r all perfect. i cud not resist myself so i started singing: "Who Let d dogs out?! Whoof! whoof!
study on management:
Men in rank n file luv basketball
Men in managerial position luv tennis
CEO's luv golf
CONCLUSION: D higher u r at the crporate ladder, d smaller ur balls!
sum1 misses u
nids u
woris abt u
lonly w/o u
guess hu? ............aba malay ko!bsta gritlng kta gud pm!!
._ ,,, . Masamang
! ( ';' )_ _ balita!
!(_;3/_/'/
l"""""l??l
Nagpaplano ang mga PANGIT na patayin ang mga GWAPO sa mundo INGAT ka kasi IKAW
daw ang MASTERMIND
THE TEXT COMMANDMENTS:
1. wagpikon
2. wagdedma
3. wagLo IQ
4. wagsen2X
5. wagtagalreply
6. wagcorny
7. wagkulit
8. wagkuripot
9. wagnoncnse
10.wag offcelfon
words of wisdom:
it's better to fart and bear the shame than not to fart and feel the pain. but
why fart and waste it, when you could burp and taste it!
Favorite church songs ng mag-asawa:
Bagong kasal - PAPURI SA DIYOS.
After 10 yrs - PANGINOON MAAWA KA.
After 20 yrs - KUNIN MO O DIYOS! ;D
pls turn ur mobile upside down now!!
37OHSSV O773H
There r only 5 things a person needs 2 be happy:
1. Some work,
2. Some fun,
3. Somefood,
4. Some rest and
"SOMEONE" u can SEX ESTE TXT!!!
If I die and go to heaven and God ask me what would be my last wish, I will go down for a while to look for you and when I see you crying, I would say "Lord, kunin mo rin siya kawawa naman"
Love--a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
SALAWIKAIN 2001
1. Ang d lumingon sa pinangalingan may malaking utang.
2. Aanhin pang damo e shabu na ang uso.
3. Ang lumalakad ng ma2lin, kubeta ang tutunguhin!
P.A.N.G.I.T. ka!
P.A.N.G.I.T. ka!
P.A.N.G.I.T. ka!
P-perfect
A-attractive
N-nice
G-gorgeous
I-intelligent &
T-talagang CUTE
siyempre pareho tayo P.A.N.G.I.T.
ONCE, I knew you... OFTEN TIMES, I miss you... ALWAYS, I'll care for you... NEVER, will I forget you! Ano nga ulit name mo?
Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face ur fear. Go ahead, look into d mirror
how i wish i kud touch u, fil ur body, n hold u w/ my hand, 2 kis ur lips so fresh, n 2 zip the tastiest part of u! i luv u...my refreshing COCA-COLA !!!
50 yrs. from now tanda na tayo!
di na cute
wala na appeal
uugud-ugod
nguya nganga
dala baston
ihi sa salawal
pero pag uso pa txt
txt parin kita!
Pag may hadlang sa ating pagkakaibigan
bundok may aakyatin ko
dagat may lalanguyin ko
bagyo may susugurin ko
LANGYA!
delikado buhat ko sayo!
Ur wet n hot
alone in ur room
u need sum1 hu wil respond 2 ur bodyheat
CALL ME!
n w/ my breath-taking styl + d power of my hands,
PAPAYPAYIN KITA!
1
Message
received
1
Cute friend
sent it
1
Monkey is
reading it
1
monkey is
angry
1
cute friend Nakita mo crush mo nag-iigib sa poso. Anong gagawin mo? take care of yourself eat on time take ur vitamin Good looks catch the eyes..but good personality catches the heart! aren't you
flattered you have both?...o wag dibdibin, quote lang yan! As u go 2 bed 2nyt, i ordered bats 2 guard u tight. I told sum ghost 2 dance
in white n 2 make sure ur alright, i'l ask dracula 2 kiss ur neck gudnyt!
d pa daw pwede umupo c Gloria sa Malacanang. Bakit? di pa daw tapos and high
chair nya.
AIZA-IQ-135, Promil user til age 5 Woman's prayer "Dear God, thank u 4 ol d blesings u have bestowed upon me,
dis tym i wont ask anythng 4 myself, only 4 my parents, Pls giv my parents a
"son-n-law", AMEN!
Wen i say gud am dat means i think of u as i wake up, wen i say take care
dat means i want u 2 b safe n wen i say and cute mo dat means KULANG AKO SA
TULOG!
My New Year treat for you. Shopping at Landmark + 1 nyt stay at Dusit Hotel.
Free rides on LRT and Edsan Bus. Pick up pts at Plza Frguson n NAIA cargo terminal.
INTRSTED?
Female witness in d impeachement trial are often embarassed bcoz Cong. Sergio
Apostol always refers to them as "Madam Wetness"
Sometimes you just smile to cover up the pain. Nasa eroplano ka na babagsak at kailangan mong ihulog ang cell phone mo o
ang syota mo? DID YOU KNOW THAT BROD MIKE VELARDE KICKED OUT ALL D GAYS FROM EL SHADDAI? Ringing Tone Received! Hi, i hope am not disturbing u pero i nid u 2 b very honest wd me kc gus2
ko lang malaman ang totoo..gus2 ko yong 220, ok? ang lason ba pag expired nakakalason
pa?
I was trying to call you last night bt ur fone just kept on ringing.Everytym
i dialed ur no. d operator kept on saying....THE OWNER OF THIS FONE IS UNDER
REPAIR!
Tayo ay pinoy, iisa ang ating lahi, dugo mo..dugo ko, ilong mo..ilong ko,
k ulay mo..kulay ko, mukha mo..puwit ko..ha!ha!
Since u r 1 of the best txters, i have enrolled u 2 "PUWET" Manok: ilang bwan na lang, pasko na. iihawin na ako. Note on a door: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner also
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead
I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled
of
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen
to you the rest of the day
Q :What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common? I stroked her neck, bit her gently. I held her breast, I bit it greedily.
I licked her thighs. Lastly, I spread her legs, felt the heat. I really love
to eat FRIED CHICKEN
Q :Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping? Mother's telegram to daughter in USA: C-H-A-M-P-I-O-N (Come Home And Marry
Pilipino In Our Nation); Daughter's reply: C-H-A-M-P-I-0-N (Can He Assure Many
Positions In One Night?)
A man went to a whore house. He had no arms and no legs. When the madam answered
the door she asked what he wanted. He said that he wanted a woman. She replyed
you have no arms and no legs what can you do? With that he replyed : Guess what
I used to rang the door bell?
Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth
to a child. She must be found and stopped
Q :What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? Everybody has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film
Napkin manufacturers are wrong! They didn’t know that women don’t need wings…
they want the whole bird
Q: What sexual position makes the ugliest kids? Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming
just a little too high
Six stages of married life: Tri-weekly, Try weekly, Try weakly, Try oysters,
Try anything, Try to remember
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked
man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'I
told you he was stupid'
Dati-rati: Tawangan mo na lang ako. Policeman saving a woman who appears to be jumping off a building. Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time
for silence. An Indian Chant: A...bayga...gopa...lakoh. Just say this often to yourself
and you'll know your purpose in life.
At first time we became in touch, inside me I felt a strange feeling, a feeling
I definitely can't express that tickles me inside out. I've finally realize
that you are my...BULATE!!!
CHILDHOOD: the time of life when you make funny faces at the mirror 'Wag kang pupunta sa lugar na walang signal kasi parang may sumpa na 'di ka
yayaman, sabi kasi "the subscriber cannot be rich."
Magandang umaga sa 'yo! Bawat pagsikat ng araw dulot ay bagong muta at panis
na laway, harinawa'y sundan mo ng paligo upang ang bakas ng kahapon ay lumipas
na!
If someone tells you bad things - smile! If someone tells you lies - smile!
If someone tricks you - smile! If someone slaps your face - smile! Tapos umbagin
mo sya! Abusado na eh!
Ang pag-ibig ay parang utot. Kahit anong gawin mo ay napakahirap itago at
pag ibinuga mo ang kimkim na damdamin, maaamoy ng lahat hindi ka man umamin.
Types of couple: Ara Mina: Tanduay Teacher: What's the color of my teeth? (Sabay smile) Morato's ROTC Training.
is smiling
1
monking is still
reading it
Dapat cool, say: "Can i pump u?" or "este..gusto mo, "bombahin
kita?" or "Este...gusto mo magbomba ako?
wen im sending u a gud am or pm msg, it doens't mean u have 2 do da same..u
may also send ca$h..pwede rin bigas,canned guds, kape,chocs..Hirap buhay eh!
excercise, ligo ka
kain ka gulay n fruits
wag paulan n puyat
ingat pagtawid
yoko mapahamak ka
mababawasan fans ko.
Ang babae raw ay parang alak
EDAD:
13-18 Lasang shandy
19-25 like champagne
26-35 BRANDY
36-45 WHISKY
46-55 RUBBING alcohol
56 up FORMALIN!
Sabi nila...
mabait ka raw...
quite lang ako.
Maaasahan ka daw...
quiet lang ako.
CUTE ka pa raw!
Umalis na ako,
Lokohan na eh
RYAN-IQ-140, Promil user til age 7
MIRIAM-IQ-Unstable, Promil overdose
ERAP-Low IQ, Promil user until now. Still no progress!
Sometimes you intend to laugh to cover up the hurt.
But whether you smile or laugh you can never hide what you really feel inside.
E - DIATABS mo 'yan!
Ano ang gagawin mo?
Magpakatotoo ka, Brother!
Sagipin mo ang cell phone mo at ihulog mo ang syota mo sabay sigaw ng 'Text
na lang kita mahal!'
THEY GOT MAD AND FORMED THEIR OWN "DIOSKODAI"
Papaumamaw!
Papapaumamaw!
papaumamaw!
Papapaumamaw! Papaumamamamaw!
Ok repeat w/ feelings! AGAIN!
P - ambansang
U - unyon ng
W - alang
E - na2pag kundi
T - ext!
Congrats! isa ka ng PUWET ngayon
Baboy: ako rin, malapit na rin akong katayin!
Manok: buti pa itong unggoy, pabasa basa na lang ng text.
A :They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute
ride!!
A :Scared the hell out of the dog
A :A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone
except you
A: Ask your mom!
Tapos: Just page me nalang.
Ngayon: Text me ha!
Pero dahil sa service ng Globe: Page mo na lang ako ulit, please!
Policeman: Bumaba ka dyan maraming nagmamahal sa'yo!
Woman at the edge: Wag kayong makialam, di ako makapag-send!
A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny.
And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.
Anung oras na ba? Text ka pa rin ng text.
OLD AGE: the time of life when the mirror gets even.
boy guapo + girl ganda = made in heaven
boy guapo + girl panget = true love
boy panget + girl ganda = galing diskarte
boy panget + girl panget = no choice
Glydel Mercado: White Castle
Dindi Gallardo, Izza Ignacio: Tanduay din
Joyce Jimenez: Beer na Beer
Amanda Page: Power Gold
Juday: Formalin
Pupil: Pink!
Teacher: (Nagtataka) Again, what's the color of my teeth? (smile)
Pupil: Pink!
Teacher: Shit di ko pala suot ang pustiso ko!
Officer: Sigaw mo Baril!
Manoling: Baril!
Officer: Sigaw mo Bato!
Manoling: Bato!
Officer: Bala!
Manoling: Bala!
Officer:Galing! Sigaw mo Lalake!
Manoling: Saaannn!!!?!!??