MST3K/RR Experiment #2 - The Dog Who Knew Too Much
by Joe "Colleen Crow" Klemm

Road Rovers, names, and characters are registered trademarks of Warner 
Bros. Copyright 1997. The following is not supervised by Warner Bros.

MST3K, names, and charcters are registered trakemarks of Best Brains. 
Copyright 1997. The following is not supervised by Best Brains. However 
I am a member of the Info Club and since this is supposed to be on a 
webpage that is a link on the Satellite News Web Page, I am not worried 
about them.

Copyright 1997

(SOL)

(Mike, Tom, and Crow are listening to Macarena Bayside Mix. The robots 
are holding notebooks taking notes.)

Mike: Welcome to the Satellite of Love, I'm Mike Nelson and these are my 
buds, Tom Servo and Crow. We are currently trying to make up a new way 
to do the Macarena. Tom, what do you think we can do to improve the 
Macarena?

Tom: Well, many people are doing the dance with English and Spanish 
lyrics. This may complicate many people who don't know those languages, 
so I decided to eliminate the lyrics completely and make it just music.

Mike: Are you sure this will work?

Tom: It worked for "The Hustle".

Mike: But "The Hustle" had parts where someone says something.

Tom: I know, but I am sure the foreigners will understand those words.

Mike: Thank you Servo. Now Crow, how are you going to improve the 
Macarena.

Crow: Well, as we all know, the Macarena consists of a lot of hand 
movements. So, I had decided to spice it up by hitting yourself with 
eggs when you do it.

Mike: It is confusing. Can you demonstrate it?

Crow: Sure. (He does the Macarena with the eggs and ends up slamming 
them on the back of his head.)

Mike: (surprised) Uh, we'll be right back.

(MST3K logo appears on the screen.)

(SOL)

(Mike is cleaning up Crow, who has a lot of egg white on him.)

Mike: Crow, I am starting to believe that Macarena with eggs is not a 
good idea.

Crow: But Mike, this is the Macarena. I don't think people will mind 
getting egged.

(Red lights is flashing.)

Mike: The Mads are calling. (He presses the red button.)

(Deep 13)

Frank: You know Dr. Forrester, the 'Bots have a good idea in ruining the 
Macarena.

Forrester: I'll show you the Macarena (He bonks Frank on the head.) 
Anyway Mike, before I give you the movie, I have to tell you that I 
don't want you or your robot chums to bother me with my attempt to take 
over the world.

(SOL)

Crow: But Dr. Forrester, you are the one that is sending us the bad 
movies that we have to watch.

(Deep 13)

Forrester: Of course I do, but I have something else in plan. As you all 
know, many people waste hundreds of dollars just to watch Disney films 
and buying it's merchandise. Well, I have planned to write my own Disney 
film and sell merchandise for it. But, the film will be so bad, I will 
be able to take over much of the world!

(SOL)

Mike: Didn't Disney already do it with "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".

(Deep 13)

Forrester: You got a point there, Mike. But I am still going to write a 
bad screenplay. As for you, your experiment this week is the Road Rovers 
episode entitled "The Dog Who Knew Too Much." Frank, send them the film.

(SOL)

(The lights begin to flash on board.)

Mike: We got movie sign!

(Zoom through the corridors until it reaches the theater, where Mike, 
Tom, and Crow get to their seats.)

>Title appears on the screen

Tom: The new tell all book by Kato, the dog.

>Ex. San Francisco; Nighttime
>A blonde girl is seen walking towards a certain building

>In. Building
>Inside a lot of dogs are locked in cages, including a small orange dog, who appears to be barking at a man that is inside the building.

Crow (as dog): You killed Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman!

>The cellular phone that the man has rings. He answers it, unaware the woman has a wrench in her hand.

Mike: Mrs. Peacock, no!

>Man: Yeah, we got the mutts. We're ready to move.

>The lady uses the wrench to brake the lock in the orange dog's cage. The dog heads towards the lady, who appears to be his owner.

>Woman: It's okay Sport. It's okay. You're going home.

>The man returns and sees what had just happened.

>Man: Hey, what do you think you're doing.

Mike (as lady): Uh, is taking him for a walk acceptable?

>Woman: This is my dog.

Mike (as woman): I had it since the great World Series quake of '89.

>Man: You're mistaken, ma'am.

>Woman: No, you are. This dog was stolen, and I bet the others are too. (She and Sport try to walk out the door.) I'm making sure you'll get shut down.

Tom: So, is he a robot of some sort?

Mike and Crow: Nah!

>The man grabs the woman's arm.

>Man: The only thing that's shutting is your yap.

>The shadows of the two are on the wall.

>Woman: Hey, (struggles to break the hold, but fails.) Let go! Sport, run! Run!
Crow: See Sport. See Sport Run. Run Sport, Run.

>Ex. Building
> Sport runs out of the building, a woman's scream is heard.

>In. Courtroom
> A gavel is beaten.

Tom: Next, on the People's Court

>Judge: Proceed with the prosecution.

>Lawyer: Thank you your honor. (He walks towards the jury.)

Crow: Hey, O.J. Simpson is doing jury duty.

>Lawyer: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Donovan Bell is responsible for the disappearance of Olivia Peru.

>Ex. Courtroom
>Reporters ask Donovan Bell about the incident.

>Reporter 1: Are the accusations true?

>Reporter 2: What did you do with Peru?

Tom (as reporter): Were you at O.J.'s house the night of the murder?

>Reporter 1: Is it true that you are the head of the nationwide dognapping operation?

>Reporter 2: With outlets in every major city?

>Donovan: (as he and his lawyer are entering his limo) The feds got nothing on me. There's no case. (shuts limo door)

>In. Limo

>Bell's Lawyer: This isn't funny, Donovan. You got some serious time hang over your head,

>Donovan: Now listen up, John Law, there was only one witness, a dog,

Mike: Same thing with the O.J. trial.

>Donovan: and dogs can't talk.

>Bell's Lawyer: Want to bet on that? (hands Bell a paper with the headline "Road Rovers Tell All".)

Crow: The new bestseller from Harper Books.

>Bell's Lawyer: Try reading the paper some time.

Tom (as Bell's Lawyer): Or pee on it.

>Donovan: I want that dog!

>Ex. San Francisco, Chinatown
>It is raining and Sport is seen walking in it, whimpering. He then sees a motorcycle gang chasing him.)

>Biker 1: There he is.

Tom: (singing) Miss America.

>Sport runs from the bikers, the lead biker grabs him.

>Biker 1: Gotcha. The man will be pleased.

>Then he sees a car and a motorcycle being driven by cars. In the car is Hunter, a mix breed, Colleen, a collie, and Blitz, a Doberman pinscher. On the motorcycle is Exile, a Siberian Husky and Shag, a sheep dog.

>In. Street Rover
>Hunter: Let's fetch him, Road Rovers.

>The dogs in the car and the cycle begin to howl.

>Ex. Street
>The Cycle Rovers passes the main biker, with Shag making some noise. the Street Rover passes the biker next.

>Colleen: Coming through.

>The biker looks in hi hands and sees that the Rovers have taken Sport from him.

>Biker 1: Noooo!

>In. Street Rover
>Sport is in between Hunter and Colleen.

>Colleen: You can rest easy, gov.

Crow: Hey, isn't Hunter driving the car?
Mike: Yes, why? Uh oh.

(Mike and the 'Bots scream.)

>Colleen: Soon as we heard you needed a witness protection program, we were on the way.

>Sport: (in a dog sound) Really?

Mike: Don't you ever do that again, Hunter!

>Hunter: Hey you're a celebrity man. Can I get your autograph?
