Mystery Science Theater 3000
"Fur of Dog, Skin of Human, Heart of Hero" 
BY TREY TACKETT
Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road
Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I nor this
script are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or
form. Story contents, characters, names, situations and
anything else associated with Strayers are Copyright 1996-
1997 by Steven Today (sftoday@netwave.net) All rights
reserved. This document may not be publicized or reproduced
in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and
may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-
for-profit entertainment purposes and is not intended to
infringe on any Copyrights.
Mystery Science Theater is trademar of Best Brains
Productions, all events in this are original and and are not
to infringe on any copyright laws.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
<begin Music>
IN THE NOT TO DISTANT FUTURE
SOMEWHERE IN TIME AND SPACE,
MIKE NELSON AND HIS ROBOT PALS,
ARE CAUGHT IN AN ENDLESS CHASE
PURSUED BY A WOMAN, 
WHO'S NAME IS PEARL,
AN EVIL GAL WHO WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD
SHE THREW A FEW THINGS IN HER PURSE
AND IN HER ROCKET SHIP SHE HUNTS HIM ALL ACROSS THE UNIVERRRSE...
<begin solo>
Pearl: I'll send him cheesey movies, 
the worse i can find [LALALA]
He'll have to sit and watch them all 
and I'll monitor his mind [LALALA]
<end solo>
NOW KEEP IN MIND MIKE CAN'T CONTROL
WHERE THE MOVIES BEGIN OR END [LALALA]
HE'LL TRY TO KEEP HIS SANITY 
WITH THE HELP OF HSI ROBOT FRIENDS
ROBOT ROLL CALL
CAMBOT! [Your on!]
GYPSY! [I'm not ready!]
TOM SERVO! [Hello there!]
CROOOOOOOOW! [I'm different!]
IF YOUR WONDERING HOW HE EATS AND BREATHES
AND OTHER SCIENCE FACTS [LALALA]
JUST REPEAT TO YOURSELF
ITS JUST A SHOW
I SHOULD REALLY JUST RELAX
FOR MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER, 3000!
<guitar riff>
<show closing door sequence>
<fade in on interior of the Satelite of Love>
Mike steps into the picture
Mike<whisper>
Oh hi there, try and keep it down the bots are asleep
Crow and Tom walk up to Mike
Crow&Tom
BOO!
Mike jumps
Mike
GAH!
Crow 
We'll be right back
Tom
Let's do that again!
<show revolving planet with MST3k logo on it>
Mike
I'll get even somehow
Crow
Yeah sure Mike
Mike
Just you wait and see
A light on the counter begins to flash
Mike
The Psycho lady's calling
Mike pushes the light
<show Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy in their Space Ship.
as Always Pearl's at the Wheel. Beside Brain Guy in
the back is a Steven Today>
Pearl
Ah Nelson, Look who I ran into.
Mike
Oh my gosh, is that Stefan Tomarrow?
Steve
THAT'S STEVEN TODAY!!!!
Crow
But how? Don't tell me you were thawed out by apes too
Steve
Actually, I was frozen and shot out here into space by Dr. F. a few days
after I first signed on to his little operation.
Tom
How many weeks?
Steve
2
Tom looks at Mike
Tom
You owe me 5 bucks Nelson. HAHA!
Mike grumbles a little
Steve
Anyways, I floated around for a few thousand or so years till monkey boy
over here some how got into the ship and deactivated the stasis pod.
Pearl
I've decided to let Steve show one of his movies this week Mike.
Steve
Yes, it's called "Fur of Dog, Skin of Human, Heart of Hero" and it should
make you insane
Mike
Sounds like a real stinking pile of sh..
Alarms start blaring and lights flash
Mike
MOVIE SIGN!!!!!
<show opening door sequence>
Mike and the bots walk into the theater
The words "Fur of Dog, Skin of Human, Heart of Hero" appear on the screen
Mike
Feat of Elephant!
Tom
Stench of Skunk!
Crow
And brain of a Stegasaurus!
FADE IN

EXTERIOR: GYPSUM CITY - SKYLINE
It is dusk in the sprawling metropolises that spreads as far
as the eye can. Tall skyscrapers litter the landscape.
Traffic zips to and fro in the streets.
Mike and Crow make various car sounds
Mike
ROAD HOG!
Tom
HEY SAME TO YOU PAL!
EXTERIOR: STACIE'S WAREHOUSE #7 - LOADING DOCK
This is a large multistory modern storage building. In the
rear is a loading dock that is pretty much deserted. A sign
above it reads "Stacie's Storehouse #7". 
Mike
Yes at Stacey's Warehouse #7 you can find anything
A small truck is backing up to the dock towards a small group of armed
security guards, the truck is only marked with a large
"Stacie's" on it. 
Tom
Wow Stacey owns alot of neat stuff
Once the vehicle is in place, the engine turns off. Two men dressed
similar to the guards (but they have no weapons) exit the truck and
walk up to the dock. The guards look at the two men suspiciously.

LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
State your business.
Crow
Delivering Nuclear Fart missles from Washington
The passenger of the truck hands up a clip board with some
papers on it.

PASSENGER
(POLITE)
Merchandise returns.

One of the guards leans down and takes the clipboard from
the Passenger, before he can straighten back up the Lead
Guard snatches it from his hands. He quickly looks it over.

LEAD GUARD
(UNTRUSTING)
Hmmm. What do we have here? Entertainment systems... Patio
furniture... Car accessories...
Tom
Mash Pits, Goat cheese, Stolen merchandise, hamdingers..
DRIVER
(EXPLAINING)
All defective items.
					
All the guards look down at the Driver and give him a cold
stare.

LEAD GUARD
(ANNOYED)
You must be new. Mister Stacie does NOT sell defective
items.
Crow
Yeah! he doesn't "officialy" sell them anyways
PASSENGER
(CONFUSED)
Then why are they being returned here?
Mike
The dump wouldn't take it
The guards gasp, the Lead Guard burns with anger.

LEAD GUARD
(IRRITATED)
Let me give you some advise. If you plan on being in Mister
Stacie's employment for any length of time you will not make
such statements.

DRIVER
(DEFENSIVE)
Okay. We get the point.
Mike
Sir, ever heard of breath mints?
The Lead Guard's eyes narrow as he continues to stare at the
Driver and the Passenger.

LEAD GUARD
(THREATENING)
For your sake, I hope you really have.

The Lead Guard continues to stare for a long moment, then he
turns and walks over to the back of the van and the rest of
the guards follow. The Driver and Passenger exchange "Oh
brother!" looks. The guards open the back of the truck.
Tom
HEY THERE'S WALDO!
INTERIOR: STACIE'S WAREHOUSE #7 - STOREROOM
This is a large cluttered room with no windows and one thick
door. Various large items found in a high class department
store are scattered around the room. The door opens and the
guards wheel in a push cart with two large boxes on it, the
Lead Guard leads the way. They stop in the center of the
room.

GUARD
(PLEASED)
This is the last of it.

LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
Put it with the rest of the stuff so we can send those
disrespectful truckers on their way.
Mike
They might be disrespectful but you didn't have to throw such a hissy fit
The Guard nods. With help from some of the other guards,
they take the boxes off the cart and set them on the floor.
The guard sighs heavily.

GUARD
(SARCASTIC)
Who ever thought I'd be in the moving business.
Crow
Is that supposed to be funny?
Tom
I think Steve Today was drunk when he did this
LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
That joke wasn't funny the first time.
Mike
Or the second, third or even the twentieth time.
The Guard gives the Lead Guard a cold stare, the glance is
ignored.

LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
Come on.
Crow
And do the locomotion with me!
The Lead Guard turns for the door.

LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
The assessment team will be by here in the morning to sort
out what is salvageable.
Tom
That should take oh about...5 minutes
The Lead Guard walks out the door, the other guards turn and
follow pushing the cart. The lights are shutoff and the door
is slammed behind them, it can be heard being locked. After
that, the guards can be heard as they walk away. It is dead
silent and dark for a long time. Then, the flaps on one of
the boxes opens from the inside. A dark silhouette of a
woman's head peeks out of the box, she is wearing some sort
of goggles which glow.
Crow
Oooo, Nifty
The goggles look around the room, then the woman stands up.
She carefully looks around the door. She then steps out of
the box and slowly makes her way to the door. She reaches
next to the door and touches the light switch with one hand
and raises her other hand and
touches her goggles. She turns off her goggles and then
turns on the lights. The woman is Bridgett Valvs, a tall
blonde wearing a long trench coat. Underneath the coat is a
jumpsuit and a thick belt with flashing lights and a knob.
Bridgett looks around the room as she removes her goggles,
she places them in a large pocket inside her coat. Then she
looks at the other box.

BRIDGETT
(WHISPERS)
Pssst. Doug. The coast is clear.
Mike
I'm Doug and i don't want to come out of the box!
There is no response from the box. Bridgett moves in closer.

BRIDGETT
(WHISPERS)
Pssst. It is okay to come out Doug.
Crow
It's only a zit, no one will notice
There is some rustling in the box, then the flaps fly open
and a man leaps to his feet.
Tom
Ace Ventura! Pet Detective! Heard you had fur problems
The man is Doug Williamson, he is dressed exactly like Bridgett.
He screams and grabs his goggles by the lens.
Crow
Probably had them turned on
DOUG
(IN PAIN)
Ahhh!
Tom
I was sitting on my keys
Bridgett rushes over to Doug, grabs his goggles and rips
them off of his head. He calms down and allows his eyes to
get use to the light.

BRIDGETT
(ANNOYED)
You trying to get us caught?
Tom
well, yeah
Doug looks at Bridgett, regretful.

DOUG
(DEPRESSED)
Sorry Bridgett. But the light was hurting my eyes.
Crow
poor baby
BRIDGETT
(ANNOYED)
What did you think would happen when you try to use Night
Vision glasses in light?
Tom
I thought i'd see fairies!
Doug hangs his head low.

BRIDGETT
(ANNOYED)
Why were you wearing them anyway?
Mike
They hide my zits
Doug slowly looks up to Bridgett, still sorry.

DOUG
(HURT)
Well, you always get to use them. I wanted to give them a
try.
Crow
You always get the cool stuff!
Bridgett rolls her eyes. She thrusts the goggles into Doug's
hands, he takes them.

BRIDGETT
(ANNOYED)
Put them away.
Tom
Do I have too honey?
Doug nods sadly. He shuts off the goggle and slips them
inside his coat. Bridgett spins towards the door.

BRIDGETT
(COMMANDING)
Come on. We have a job to do.
Mike
We must find the toilets!
Bridgett walks up to the door, Doug follows. She grabs the
knob and tries to turn it, it doesn't budge. He notices
this.

DOUG
(HONEST)
It's locked.
Tom
NAH! REALLY? hehe
Bridgett sighs and turns towards Doug.

BRIDGETT
(COLD)
No kidding.

Doug shrugs the comment off as Bridgett reaches inside her
coat, she pulls out an Electronic Lock Picker. It is a large
metal circle with many light and a few buttons. She holds
the device up.
Mike
Let's play SIMON!
BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Fortunately, the Boss keeps us well equipped.

Bridgett turns back to the door. She places the Electronic
Lock Picker around the knob and presses a few buttons, the
device hums softly. After a few seconds there is a distinct
click of the knob unlocking, this makes her smile.

BRIDGETT
(PLEASED)
I love my job.
Crow
The job loves you too sweetie
Bridgett shuts the Electronic Lock Picker off, removes it
from the knob and slips it back into her coat. She then
grabs the knob, slowly turns it and carefully opens the
door. Bridgett peers out of the door and looks around a well
lit hall, then ducks her head back in.

BRIDGETT
(RELIEVED)
All clear.

DOUG
(DISTURBED)
You think tonight will be the night?
Crow
When we finally get to relieve ourselves?
Bridgett pauses, then looks at Doug equally disturbed.

BRIDGETT
(UNEASY)
Maybe.

Bridgett notices Doug's glum look, she forces a smile.

BRIDGETT
(UPBEAT)
But if it is. We'll know what to do. Right?
Mike
Squat, grunt, wipe, flush. got it.
Doug nods solemnly. Bridgett turns back to the door and
grabs the handle.

BRIDGETT
(BLUNT)
Let's get moving.

Bridgett slips out the door, as she goes she shuts off the
light. Doug follows closely behind. The door is closed
behind them.

INTERIOR: STACIE'S WAREHOUSE #7 - EMPTY ROOM
This room is similar to size and makeup of the Storeroom
except that for one large box up against the back wall, it
is empty. A slight hum can be heard from the other side of
the door, it dies out after a few seconds. The door opens
and Bridgett steps into the room as she slips the Electronic
Lock Picker into her coat. Doug follows her in, he shuts the
door and turns on the lights. They both look around.
Bridgett is pleased at what she sees but Doug is a bit
confused.

DOUG
(CONFUSED)
This is it?

BRIDGETT
(PLEASED)
Yes.
Crow
Where's the toilet?
DOUG
(CONFUSED)
Are you sure?
Tom
No, I don't use that deoderant
Bridgett looks at Doug.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Has the Boss ever lead us wrong?
Crow
Well there was the time he tol us to kill JFK cause he was
evil, and that Martin Luther King thing, and the time that we
Tom
Shut up
Doug thinks for a moment, then shakes his head.

DOUG
(DEFEATED)
No. I guess not.

Doug looks around the room again.

DOUG
(CONFUSED)
So where is it?
Crow
It should be next to the tub right?
BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
The only place it can be.
Mike
That really helps
Doug looks at Bridgett, she is looking directly at the large
box. He smiles.

DOUG
(EXCITED)
Of course!

Doug rushes over to the box and tries to move it, it doesn't
budge. But he keeps trying. Bridgett rolls her eyes and
walks over to the box. He finally gives up, turns and looks
at her.

DOUG
(FRUSTRATED)
It won't budge.

Bridgett looks at Doug.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
You have forgotten what we came for. It won't be so straight
forward.

Doug just scratches his head and looks at Bridgett.  She
chuckles, reaches behind the box and begins to feel the
wall. After a few seconds she finds a lever and pulls it,
there is a distinctive click. Her smile widens. She pushes
against the box and it swings a little ways from the wall
like a giant door. Doug is dumbfounded but Bridgett is
ecstatic.

BRIDGETT
(SARCASTIC)
It takes brains, not brawn.
Mike<redneck voice>
Wach Ya Meen By that there comment?
Doug looks at his feet.

DOUG
(ASHAMED)
Oh.

Bridgett pushes the large box completely away from the wall,
this reveals a small hidden room.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Voila.

Both Doug and Bridgett anxiously look into the room, but
they are not pleased at what they see. The Road Rovers are
waiting inside and glaring at them. The Rovers are Cano-
Sapiens (have human bodies with canine heads, tails, fur,
etc.) and consist of: Hunter a Golden Retriever (a male),
Exile a Siberian Husky (a male), Colleen a Collie (a
female), Blitz a Doberman (a male) and Shag a Sheepdog (a
male who is more dog than human). All the Rovers are wearing
red tee shirts with matching shorts, running shoes and
baseball caps (all items have the Road Rover logo on them).
Hunter has an odd rifle with some sort of webbing loaded
onto it (the Rover Entanglement Gun) slung over his
shoulder, Shag is holding a folder of papers and Exile's
eyes are glowing brightly from Night Vision. Hunter turns
his cap around so the flap is on the back of his head. He
folds arms and leans to one side (like a rap musician),
smiles and looks directly at Bridgett. Exile's eyes return
to normal. Bridgett and Doug's annoyance turns to shock.

BRIDGETT/DOUG
(IN UNISON, SHOCKED)
The Road Rovers!
Mike & bots
WHERE?!
COLLEEN
(THICK BRITISH ACCENT, SARCASTIC)
Hooo. Groupies.
Tom
Colleen! where have you been my sweet?
Crow
I thought you were over her?
HUNTER
(AMERICAN ACCENT, IN A RAP TONE)
Yo. Wa la? Yo. Is that some sort of rap group? Yo.
Mike
Hey he made his own song, isn't that nice?
Blitz looks at Hunter and frowns.

BLITZ
(BROKEN GERMAN ACCENT, DISGUSTED)
Knock it off. You look and sound like Bugs Bunny.
Crow
Hey thats insulting the bunny Doc!
Hunter spins around and points his finger at Blitz.

HUNTER
(STILL IN A RAP TONE)
Word.
Mike
Today's secret word is "poo"
BRIDGETT
(EXCITED)
How. How did you know we were here?
Mike
Well, you did tell us you were coming
Hunter unfolds his arms, turns his hat back around to face
forward and looks at Bridgett.

HUNTER
(SMUG)
Simple. We're the Road Rovers.
Tom
ha...ha...ha..
EXILE
(BROKEN RUSSIAN ACCENT, HONEST)
Da. And the fact you've hit fourteen other Stacie building
in the past two weeks.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
You weren't by chance looking for this?

Hunter snaps his fingers and Shag holds up the file in his
hands. Both Bridgett and Doug spot the paper folder
instantly, their eyes lock onto it.

DOUG
(EXCITED)
They have the file!
Mike
What file?
A wicked smiles comes over Bridgett's face.

BRIDGETT
(SELF ASSURED)
Yes. That they do. And they are now going to hand that over
to us.

BLITZ
(DEFIANT)
And why should we do something as stupid as that?
Crow
'Cause then the movie would be over!
Bridgett quickly reaches into her coat and pulls out a
automatic pistol. Doug hesitates, but then does the same.
They point their weapons at the Road Rovers who look
slightly surprised. Shag yipes and lowers the folder.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Ohhh. Right.

But Hunter smiles defiantly.

HUNTER
(HINTING)
Nice armor. But does it pack enough KICK or PUNCH?

Blitz and Colleen smile slyly.

BLITZ
(PLEASED)
Oh. I get it.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Quite.

A look of realization flashes in Bridgett's face. But before
she can do anything, Colleen gives her a quick and power
kick to the stomach.
Mike
ouch
The blow is so devastating that it
forces Bridgett to drop her weapon and she goes sailing into
the far wall. She crashes hard against the wall, moans
slightly, and slumps down into a sitting position. At almost
the same moment, Blitz punches Doug square in the face.
Tom
MY NOSE JOB! YOU RUINED IT YOU MUTT!
The attack also forces him to drop his weapon. He stumbles
back next to Bridgett but barely manages to stay on his feet.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Didn't your mother ever tell you you should never play with
fully automatic weapons?
Crow
No, my mom told me to play on the highway and to run with sharp objects
Exile bends down and picks up both pistols. He holds them
both together in front of his face and stares at them. After
a few moments, constant red heat rays fires from his eyes
and instantly melt the two barrels together. Once done, the
rays disappears and he smiles proudly.
Mike
Cheap Superman Trick
EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Now this is what I call a safety.

As Doug shakes off the punch Bridgett also recovers from the
attack set on her. Hunter folds his arms.

HUNTER
(SMUG)
NOW are you going to come quietly?
Mike
No, but we will come kicking and screaming like babies.
Bridgett looks directly at the Road Rovers.

BRIDGETT
(BLUNT)
Hardly.

Bridgett gets back on her feet.

BRIDGETT
(DEFIANT)
It is going to take more than a few love tap to make us
cooperative.

Blitz looks at Colleen, his eyes fill with puppy love.

BLITZ
(WHISPERS)
Ahhh. I wish Colleen would give me love taps.
Mike
Everyone guard your legs!
Doug quickly looks at Bridgett, shocked.

DOUG
(SHOCKED)
It is?

Colleen softly claps her hands together.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Ohhh goodie! I do love it when they become all defiant!
Mike
Me too! thats why we're leaving!
Mike and the bots leave the theater.
<show revolving planet with MST3k logo on it>
<fade in interior of S.O.L>
Crow
Egad, this movie is horrible.
Tom
I wish COlleen would give me love taps too.
Crow
Where's Mike?
Tom
Who knows
Crow and Tom look around
Crow
This is boring
Tom
Tell me about it
Alarms blare and lights flash
Crow&Tom 
Movie Sign!
<show opening door sequence>
Mike
Can't believe you made me stay in here.
Doug turns back towards the Road Rovers.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Then I believe you are going to need these.

Exile throws the fused weapons to Doug who catches them. He
looks at them for a moment, then quickly points them at the
Road Rovers. Bridgett notices this. As he begins to pull the
trigger she slaps the guns out of his hands, they fall
harmlessly to the floor. She looks at him with disgust.

BRIDGETT
(ANNOYED)
Idiot.
Tom
Kick his butt!
Doug hangs his head in shame, Bridgett looks back at the
Road Rovers. Blitz snaps out of his puppy love.

BLITZ
(EXCITED)
Now comes the time for the biting of the rear portions!
Crow
ewww
Doug quickly looks up. Exile looks at Blitz with slight
disgust.

EXILE
(DISGUSTED)
Don't be a weird boy.
Mike
Well put 
Exile looks back at Doug and Bridgett. Blitz steps forward.

BLITZ
(PLEASED)
Let me do the honors.

Exile places a hand on Blitz's arm and he comes to a stop,
he looks over his shoulder at him.

EXILE
(CONFUSED)
How come you always get all the fun?
Crow
This is fun?
Blitz's smile widens so his long, sharp and shinny teeth can
be seen.
Mike
He brushes 25 times a day I'll bet
BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
Because four out of five dentists prefer being bitten by me.
Crow
The other dentist preferred getting bit by a dog without rabies
Colleen steps up to Blitz, grabs him by the other shoulder
and spins him around towards her. Exile lets go of him.

COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
I'd like to have a crack first for a change.

A loving twinkle enters Blitz's eyes.

BLITZ
(MUSHY)
I would be honored if you would take my place pretty lady.

Colleen smiles at Blitz.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Why thank you. Mushy.

Blitz loses his smile.

BLITZ
(ANNOYED)
I hate it when she does that.
Tom
Does what?
COLLEEN
(SMUG)
I know.

Colleen lets go of Blitz and looks at Exile.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Do you have any objections if I play through?
Tom
no go right ahead 
Exile pauses and thinks, then smiles.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
As we say in Siberia, Ladies first.
Mike
We say that here to you know.
Hunter looks over to Exile.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Yeah. But what does that have to do with Colleen?
Tom
HOW DARE YOU INSULT HER YOU MONGREL!
Exile gives Hunter a confused look while Blitz gives him a
cold stare, Colleen turns and looks at Hunter.

COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
I'll show you how much of a lady I can be.
Tom
You Go Girl!
Colleen turns and steps towards Doug and Bridgett, the rest
of the Road Rovers turn and watch her go. She stops before
the two criminals. She places her hands on her hips and
looks back and forth between the two.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Okay. Who would like to be pummeled into submission first?
Tom
OH! MEMEMEMEMEMEME!
Doug quickly shakes his head and takes a step back, but
Bridgett just smiles at Colleen.

BRIDGETT
(CONFIDENT)
I'll volunteer. But to be quite honest I don't think it will
be YOU who is doing the pummeling.

Colleen smiles wider.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Ohhh. Defiant and cheeky.
Mike
I like that in a woman
Colleen takes an offensive karate stance, Bridgett offers no
defense. Colleen rushes towards her, Bridgett reaches inside
her coat for her belt. Colleen leaps into the air to drop
kick Bridgett, she turns the knob on her belt. When
Colleen's feet come within a inches of Bridgett she is
stopped cold, as if she has hit an invisible wall. Bridgett
staggers back a step and Colleen falls to the floor, she
looks up stunned. So are the rest of the Road Rovers.

EXILE
(CONFUSED)
I can not believe my eyes.
Crow
I'm seeing triple!
HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
She's still standing.
Mike
so?
BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
Colleen never misses.
Tom
Except when she's drunk.
Colleen looks at the others.

COLLEEN
(SHOCKED)
Now be honest. Did she move?
Mike
nope
All the Road Rovers shake their heads.

BRIDGETT
(SARCASTIC)
Why don't you give it another try.

Colleen turns back to Bridgett who is smiling smugly,
Colleen sneers at her.

COLLEEN
(DETERMINED)
The game is a foot.
Crow
I thought it was a toe
Colleen jumps to her feet and prepares to attack.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Go on. Give it your best shot.

COLLEEN
(DETERMINED)
You can count on it.

Colleen drives her fist towards Bridgett.

COLLEEN
(SCREAMS)
Larry!
Mike
who?
Colleen's attack is deflected away from the invisible wall,
Bridgett is unharmed. She attacks with her other fist.

COLLEEN
(SCREAMS)
Moe!
Mike
Mo' Money! Mo' Money! Mo' Money!
The attack is again deflected before it can strike Bridgett,
but Colleen does not give up. She thrusts a foot towards her
target.

COLLEEN
(SCREAMS)
Curly!
Tom
Straight!
Once again the blow fails to make contact, so Colleen attack
with her other foot.

COLLEEN
(SCREAMS)
Shemp!
Crow
Hey aren't these guys the stooges?
As before, the attack is mysteriously deflected off. So
Colleen thrusts all her limbs at Bridgett at once.

COLLEEN
(SCREAMS)
But never Joe!
Crow
GI-Joe!
Bridgett is again unaffected, the attack is halted. Colleen
pants heavily as she stares at Bridgett, who is still smugly
smiling at her.

COLLEEN
(IMPRESSED AND OUT OF BREATH)
You're good.
Mike
Not really, you just suck
HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
But she never moved a muscle.

Colleen turns towards the Road Rovers.

COLLEEN
(IMPRESSED)
That is what you think. She's just really quick.
Crow
Sonic's Quicker
Hunter and Exile look at each other confused, and shrug
their shoulders. Blitz steps forward.

BLITZ
(ANNOYED)
Then let's see how fast her friend is.
Tom
Fast as the Road Runner! MEEP MEEP!
Blitz holds out his hands and extremely long claws extend
out, he also bares his long and sharp teeth. He looks
directly at Doug. The criminal begins to sweet, he looks at
Bridgett nervously and shrugs his shoulders. She winks at
him and points to her belt, he nods slightly.

BLITZ
(BLUNT)
It is the time for the slashing and biting.

Doug quickly looks at Blitz, still scared. The Rover rushes
towards him, biting and slashing at the air and the other
Rovers watch him. The criminal frantically reaches inside
his coat and plays with his belt. As Blitz reaches him Doug
closes his eyes and braces himself for the worst. The Rover
tries to dig his claws into Doug but he too has an invisible
wall around him, the claws stop inches short. Doug opens his
eyes and realizes that he is safe, he smiles smugly. Blitz
is shocked but continues to claw at Doug's entire body, of
course he fails. Blitz finally gives up and looks at the
other Rovers.

BLITZ
(SHOCKED)
Some how I get the feeling it has nothing to do with speed.
Mike
Or any other drugs for that matter!
DOUG
(SARCASTIC)
Actually, it does.

Everyone, including Blitz, looks at Doug. He draws his arm
back and back hands Blitz across the face,
Crow
BAP!
the Rover flies
back and crashes into the wall next to the door. Blitz's
claws retract as he falls on his butt and leans against the
wall, he looks dumbfounded at Doug who is still smiling at
him.
					
DOUG
(SARCASTIC)
You're speed is very slow.
Mike
Try SLP speed next time
EXILE
(CONCERNED)
I think it is time we got to the bottom of this.

Doug turns and looks at the group, Exile's eyes are glowing
white.
Mike
How come I keep expecting Shaggy and Scooby to walk in any minute?
Crow
Ri Ron't Row, HEHEHEHEHEHE!
EXILE
(EXCITED)
Ah ha!

HUNTER
(PUZZLED)
What do you see?
Crow
I see paris, I see France, I see that she's not wearing any
underpants! WHOO-HOO!
EXILE
(EXCITED)
They both have some kind of invisible wall round them.

Exile's eyes return to normal.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
It's a Deflector Shield to be precise.
Tom
So Trek like isn't it?
COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
No blooming wonder why I couldn't touch her!

EXILE
(ANNOYED)
Well, let's just see how strong this shield is.

Exile's eyes begin to turn red.

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
No Exile! No!

Red beams of heat fire from Exile's eyes and head straight
for Doug, he screams in terror. But the beams hit the
invisible deflector and ricochet off, they head for Blitz.
The beams fire into the wall just above his head and between
his ears, frying a hole into it. Blitz looks up and yelps,
the beams stop firing from his eyes. Exile pauses and looks
at Doug, who has calmed down and is all smug again, then he
looks at the holes above Blitz who is very shaken up.

EXILE
(EMBARRASSED)
Now I know why they call them deflectors.
Mike
is it me or are these guys slow?
BLITZ
(ANGRY)
No duh!

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
They can deflect almost any temperature of heat.

Exile thinks for a moment.

EXILE
(THINKING)
Well, if heat won't work. Let's try cold.

HUNTER, COLLEEN AND BLITZ
(EXCITED)
Nooo!!!
Tom
This ought to be good for a cheap laugh
But Exile's eyes glow blue and beams of cold fire, Blitz
cries in terror. One of the beams hits Doug's shield and the
other hits Bridgett's. But to everyone's surprise, the beams
do not deflect. The unseen deflectors begin to ice up, and
in a matter of moments the criminals are each locked in a
block of ice. Exile stops using his cold vision, he raise
his hands out in a "see-what-I-can-do" gesture. Everyone
looks over Exile's work.
Crow
No one got hurt, dang
COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Nice work, Exile.

Hunter slaps Exile on the back.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
Way to go, buddy.

Blitz is calm down.

BLITZ
(OFFENDED)
Ya, ya. Very nice.

Exile turns and looks at Hunter.

EXILE
(SMUG)
You should all have a little faith.

BLITZ
(SURPRISED)
Maybe if you ever gave us a reason.
Crow
Still wouldn't then
Exile turns back around.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Reason? What do you call this.

Exile points at the two criminals but to everyone's surprise
the ice is melting off the shields.

EXILE
(CONFUSED)
Oh.

Everyone looks at the criminals. All the ice has melted
away.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Fortunately, we stole this technology from NASA. It was to
be used in the new Space Shuttle. A heat and cold shield in
one.
Mike
Sheesh, its going to take half the movie just to get past this!
COLLEEN
(DISAPPOINTED)
How unfortunate for us.
Crow
And us..
HUNTER
(UPBEAT)
Maybe not.

The Criminals look at Hunter as he pulls the weapon off his
shoulder.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
I think it's time to give the Road Rover Entanglement Gun a
whirl.
Tom
Ok, I call no doing joke envolving everything having a Road Rover name.
Mike
Wouldn't dream of it
As Hunter points the strange weapon at the Criminals, Doug
looks scared and Bridgett looks unsure. The Rover fires and
the metal mesh webbing flies from the gun and entangles both
Criminals. Doug and Bridgett struggle like mad, but they
can't break the grip of the giant net. Hunter lowers his
weapon and smiles.

HUNTER
(SMUG)
We may not be able to break their protection but they'll be
stuck here until the authorities can arrive.
Crow
Of course they bought off tha cops...
Bridgett stops struggling, Doug follows suit. She smiles at
Hunter.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
That would be the case if we hadn't made a special
modification to the Deflector Shields.

The Road Rovers look at them trying to figure out if they
are bluffing or not. Bridgett makes an adjustment on her
belt controls. Her shield is suddenly electrified, arcs of
power fly from the points where the webbing touches her
deflector. The Rovers are taken aback, Hunter drops his
weapon. In a few instants, the webbing is melted through and
the remains fall harmlessly to the floor.
Mike
OH COME ON!
BRIDGETT
(SARCASTIC)
Play time is over, it is time to do some Cajun.

The Road Rovers and even Doug looks at Bridgett, confused.
She reaches out and touches Colleen, a power bolt of
electricity flies from the deflector onto her. Colleen yelps
and jumps back a step.
Tom growls and jumps at the screen trying to attack Bridgett
Mike
DOWN BOY!
Doug understands and chuckles, he
adjusts his controls to electrify. He turns and looks at
Blitz.

DOUG
(SARCASTIC)
Would you like to be the first on the menu?
Crow
So I get to be the sunday special?
Blitz cries in terror as he jumps to his feet, he turns and
races towards the door. He crashes through it and keeps on
running. Doug laughs louder and Exile looks at the busted up
door, he shrugs his shoulders.

EXILE
(BLUNT)
There he goes again.
Mike
On his own. Going down the only road he's ever known!
Doug looks at the remaining Road Rovers as Bridgett shocks
Colleen again, forcing her back with the others.

COLLEEN
(IN PAIN)
I don't want to play this blooming game anymore.
Tom
Want to play fetch?
EXILE
(CONFUSED)
Game? Can we call a time out?
Crow
Sorry, we used them all up on hydrant breaks
BRIDGETT
(SARCASTIC)
Sorry. But you've used all of yours.
Crow<angry>
I JUST SAID THAT!!!!
Doug and Bridgett continue to advance towards the Road
Rovers, poking their fingers in front of them. The Rovers
manage to stay just out of reach, but soon their backs are
up against the back wall.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
It is times like this I hate being Road Rover!
					Tom
					You like being one?
HUNTER
(CALMING)
Steady gang, we've been in worst spots before.
Crow
Actually, we haven't but oh well
The Rovers look at Hunter, distraught.

EXILE AND COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Name one!!!

HUNTER
(UNEVEN)
Oh. I meant we WILL be in worst spots than this.
Mike
If we survive that is, which we probably won't, so I'll just shut up
BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Unfortunately, this is the last spot you will ever be in.
This is the end of the line for the Road Rovers.
ALL
THE MOVIES ENDING YAY!
Doug and Bridgett reach out for the Road Rovers.

BLITZ
(OFF CAMERA, SARCASTIC)
And I say you are all wet.

Doug and Bridgett quickly turn towards the door to see Blitz
holding a fire hose, he is pointing at them. They are
stunned for a moment, but relax to when they see his only
weapon.

DOUG
(SARCASTIC)
And what do you expect to do with that?
Crow
He's gonna turn the hose on you!
BLITZ
(SMUG)
Short out your little plan.

Blitz turns on the hose and a stream of water splashes onto
Doug and Bridgett,
Tom
SPLISH!
the pressure of the stream is so strong
it knocks the two into each other and shorts out their
deflector shield.
Mike
KERZAP!
The force also sends them sailing towards
the wall, the Road Rovers manage to dodge them. The
criminals slam into the wall and are pinned up against it.
Crow
WHAM!

After a few seconds, Blitz turns off the hose and they fall
into a heap onto the floor. The Rovers looks at Blitz and
smile.

EXILE
(PLEASED)
Nice work comrade.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
Yes. Nice job.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
You surprised me once again...
Crow
Ok, I think are legs are safe now guys
BLITZ
(EMBARRASSED)
It was nothing.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
... Fluffy.

BLITZ
(ANNOYED)
I get no respect.
Mike <impersonating Rodney Dangerfield>
No Repsect, No Respect!
Hunter turns towards the wet Criminals, he bends down and
grabs Doug by the collar. He lifts him up off the ground and
stares coldly into his eyes, Doug is very frighten.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
But I know someone who is going to get all the respect they
deserve.

Colleen bends down and picks up Bridgett like Hunter did to
Doug, she stares coldly into her eyes. But Bridgett does not
rile as easy.

COLLEEN
(BLUNT)
Make that two.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Now who are you two?
Crow
We are...WB EXECUTIVES AND WE CANCEL THIS SHOW! CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL!
BRIDGETT
(QUICKLY)
We don't have to tell you anything. We know our rights.
Mike
And wrongs
DOUG
(UNEASY)
Yeah. We don't have to say anything.
Mike
Actually, they don't you know
Hunter just stares coldly at Doug, he looks away.

HUNTER
(DETERMINED)
Tell us what we want to know!
Crow
no
BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Or you'll do what?

Hunter smiles.

HUNTER
(SLY)
It has been a while since I had a really good bite.
Crow
Remind me not to say "Bite me" around these guys
Doug quickly looks back at Hunter, the rest of the Road
Rovers are taken aback as well.

EXILE
(SHOCKED)
You can't be serious, Hunter.

BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
You can't fool us. You're the good dogs. We have your
prisoners, you would never treat us in such a way.

HUNTER
(SLY)
You are forgetting, we're still part dogs.
Mike
Dun dun dun!
DOUG
(FRIGHTEN)
You can't be serious?

HUNTER
(CONTEMPLATING)
What do you think, Blitz? A thigh or an arm.
Mike
Watch him say "tooshie"
Blitz drops the fire hose.

BLITZ
(DISGUSTED)
Even I find this revolting.
Mike
He didn't say "tooshie" 
BRIDGETT
(SMUG)
Don't worry, he's only bluffing.

Doug looks over to Bridgett.

DOUG
(UNNERVED)
Then how about we trade places?

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
No. You look much more juicy.
Tom
Mike, I hate to say this, but I'm kind of hungry
Doug looks back to Hunter, he is licking his lips. Doug
cracks.

DOUG
(TERRIFIED)
Okay! Okay! I'll tell you anything! I'm Doug Williamson and
this is Bridgett Valvs! We're thieves.
Crow
BABY!
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
So who do you work for?

BRIDGETT
(ANNOYED)
Shut up. Don't tell them anything.

DOUG
(TERRIFIED)
I don't know! All I can tell you is we get this phone call
before every job and meet this cyborg dude where he tells
us.
Crow<at the same time as blitz>
Cyborg?
BLITZ
(CONCERNED)
Cyborg?

COLLEEN
(INTERESTED)
Hello.
Tom
HI!
BRIDGETT
(ANGRY)
Don't tell them anymore!

DOUG
(TERRIFIED)
He has a robotic limb for his left leg, one for his right
arm and has a metal plate set into his skull and coughs a
lot!!!

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Parvo!
Mike
A dog disease is a cyborg?
HUNTER
(CONCERNED)
Yes.

DOUG
(TERRIFIED)
That is all I know! I swear!
Mike
Don't swear, the movie will lose the "G" rating
Hunter thinks for a moment.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
How do you get paid?
Crow
IN TAINTED SCOOBY SNACKS!
Mike
Scooby Snacks are tainted, Crow
Crow
oh
BRIDGETT
(ANGRY)
Don't say it!

Doug opens his mouth to speak, but is distracted when Blitz
is shoved into the room. The Lead Guard rushes in with his
weapon draw, the rest of the Guards follow suit. They stop
and point their weapons at the Road Rovers.

LEAD GUARD
(EXCITED)
Everyone hold it! Don't anyone move!
Tom and Crow move around
Tom
We're moving
Everyone turns and looks at the Guards.

EXILE
(HONEST)
It is okay, we're the Road Rovers.

LEAD GUARD
(EXCITED)
I don't care if you're Superman! Don't move!!!
Tom
Someone has a wedgie
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
If we were those guns wouldn't be much use.

LEAD GUARD
(ANNOYED)
Shut up and put those two down.

COLLEEN
(QUICKLY)
But you don't understand.

LEAD GUARD
(WARNING)
Do it now or we start shooting!

The Road Rovers look to Hunter, he hesitates then nods.
Colleen and Hunter place Doug and Bridgett back on the
ground, they let them go. They quickly rush over to the
Guards.

DOUG
(FRANTIC)
Thank goodness you are here!
Crow
We tried to rob you but they stopped us!
BRIDGETT
(FRANTIC)
They broke in here! We tried to stop them but they over
powered us!

DOUG
(FRANTIC)
They are insane! They tried to kill us!

LEAD GUARD
(CONCERNED)
They did?

BLITZ
(EXCITED)
They are lying! They are the ones who broke in!

BRIDGETT
(FRANTIC)
Then who had who by the throat?

The Lead Guard rubs his chin.

LEAD GUARD
(THINKING)
That is true.

COLLEEN
(WHISPERS)
Way to go, Huntie.

Hunter shrugs his shoulders. Bridgett points to the Road
Rovers.

BRIDGETT
(EXCITED)
Quick! Seize them before they do any more harm!

LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
I would really like to do that but one thing is stopping me.

Bridgett lowers her finger and looks at the Lead Guard.

BRIDGETT
(CONFUSED)
What is that?
Crow
They might do something to my leg.
The Lead Guard points his gun at Doug and Bridgett.

LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
Your two mugs were captured on surveillance cameras at other
warehouse break ins. Seize them!

Before Doug and Bridgett can do or say anything the guards
grab them, force their hands behind your back and lock their
wrists in handcuffs.

LEAD GUARD
(SARCASTIC)
You're both going to get a free ride to the nearest police
station.

A pair of guards drag Doug and Bridgett out, the criminals
grumble all the way.

BLITZ
(SMUG)
I told you they were lying.

The Lead Guard points his gun back at the Road Rovers.

LEAD GUARD
(EXCITED)
And as far as you go. You still have to explain why you are
in here?

HUNTER
(PROUD)
We're the Road Rovers. Doing our job and nabbing these two
in the act. They were after this.

Hunter snaps his fingers and Shag rushes up and holds out
the paper file, the Lead Guard snatches it from his paws.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Hey! That is evidence!

LEAD GUARD
(BLUNT)
It is also Mister Stacie's property.

The Lead Guard holds up the folder and points to the large
Stacie seal on the front of.

LEAD GUARD
(EXCITED)
You broke in here and are in possession of stolen property.
What am I to think?

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
That I'm a retriever that needed work?
Crow
BRIMSHOT!
Mike
Not now Crow
The Lead Guard snorts.

LEAD GUARD
(ANNOYED)
Fortunately, there is only one thing saving you.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Our immense charm.
Mike
What Charm?
LEAD GUARD
(ANGRY)
The fact that Mister Stacie sells a line of Road Rover
action figures! It wouldn't look too good if his guards
ended up arresting them!

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Which reminds me. Our lawyers have been questioning your
right to sell little plastic figures with our likeness.

The Lead Guard points towards the door.

LEAD GUARD
(INFURIATED)
Get out of here! Now!!!

Hunter quickly turns and dashes for the door, the rest of
the Road Rovers follow.
Crow
Movie's over, let's go.
Mike
CROW STAY!
EXTERIOR: STACIE'S WAREHOUSE #7 - ALLEY
It is night. The Road Rovers, led by Hunter, are walking
down a back alley away from the warehouse.

COLLEEN
(CONCERNED)
Hunter. Was that an act back there or were you really going
to bite that man?.

EXILE
(CONCERNED)
Would you really have done it?
Tom
Right in front of us?
Hunter stops and so does everyone else, he turns towards
them.

HUNTER
(HURT)
I'm shocked that you would ask such a thing.

BLITZ
(BLUNT)
But you looked pretty serious.

HUNTER
(PROUD)
I could never do such a thing. I was just trying to bluff
some information out of them. Remember, we are man's best
friend.

EXILE
(ANNOYED)
We are PEOPLE'S best friend.

Hunter looks at Exile, confused.

HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
People's?

BLITZ
(DISGUSTED)
Don't ask.
Tom
HE said not to ask, so don't ask
COLLEEN
(FRUSTRATED)
It's a new kick Exile is on.
Crow
Kick? isn't that a soda?
Tom
Your thinking of Surge
Mike
That stuff makes me have to pee
EXILE
(BLUNT)
The proper term should be people. If you use man or woman,
you will be leaving out a group of the population.

HUNTER
(SURPRISED)
I can't believe it, Exile. You've turned PC.
Crow
Personal Computer?
Tom
No, Pathetic Canine
EXILE
(EXCITED)
I am not like Cyborg like Parvo! I am Cano-Sapien like the
rest of you!

HUNTER
(SOOTHING)
No. Not Personal Computer. Politically Correct.

Exile pauses.
EXILE
(EMBARRASSED)
Okay. In that case you are correct. I was very involved with
politics in Siberia.
Tom
He was in charge of baking cookies for the president
COLLEEN
(CONCERNED)
Speaking about Parvo, I think we should make haste and get
back to the Master to report our findings.

Hunter looks at Colleen.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
You're right.

Hunter looks at the others while he points down the alley.

HUNTER
(PROUD)
Let's hit the road Rovers!
Mike
PLEASE DON'T HOWL!
Hunter turns and dashes down the alley, the other follow
close behind. After a few seconds, they come dashing back up
the alley and run past. Again, they turn and race back.
Finally they come to a stop, Hunter turns and looks at the
others.

COLLEEN
(CONCERNED)
What's wrong?

HUNTER
(EMBARRASSED)
Does anyone remember where we parked?
Mike rubs his forehead
Crow
Mike, got any asprin?
Everyone sighs with disgust, Hunter just shrugs his
shoulders.

EXTERIOR: STACIE'S WAREHOUSE #7 - LOADING DOCK
A police car is waiting in front of the dock, it's lights
are flashing. Two officers are waiting by the car. The Lead
Guard leads two other guards who are escorting Doug and
Bridgett out of the warehouse, they are led up to the police
car. Just then, the Road Rover Air Rover flies over head.
The vehicle is a large jet with two sets of wings (one set
forward and one aft), it has the large Road Rover symbol on
the side. Snarling teeth are painted onto the nose of the
plane. Everyone looks up at it, even the criminals. They
look in awe while Doug and Bridgett look at each other, they
smile at each other slyly.

EXTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - GROUNDS
Deep in a large cavern in the earth is a lighted complex of
buildings (shaped like fire hydrants) and clear tubing (that
connect the buildings together). Moonlight also shines from
above. This is where the Road Rover's base all their
operations from.
Tom
Stately Dog Manor
INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - BRIEFING ROOM
This is a huge room with many view screens on the wall and
exits. In the center of the room is a large table with many
chairs around it, the Road Rovers are all seated around the
table. Near by Muzzle is hoping across the room, he is a
male Rottweiler who is strapped to a hand cart in a strait
jacket and has a metal muzzle over his face. He is not a
Cano-Sapien like the rest, just a dog. He continues about
his business. Set into one of the walls is a balcony bathed
in brilliant light, the Master is standing on it and facing
the Rovers. It is very hard to make out the Master because
of the blinding light, but from what we can see he is a male
human in form but has long white hair and glowing white
eyes. Hunter is speaking directly to him.

HUNTER
(STRAIGHT FORWARD)
...Then they took the folder from us and asked us politely
to leave.
Mike
Wow, dogs can lie
COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
I think politely is stretching it.
Tom
Stretching it a mile really
BLITZ
(ANNOYED)
More like booted.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Either way. We then came straight back here.
Tom
After we stopped for a few hydrant brakes that is
The Master rubs his chin.
Crow
Did you find my eyes while you were out?
MASTER
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
I see. Was the folder like the other items you found?

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
>From what we could see, yes. Deep dark secrets about their
owners.

EXILE
(CONFUSED)
But why would that interest Parvo?

The Master stops rubbing.
Crow
I really need my eyes you know
MASTER
(UNSURE)
I don't know.
Mike
Should i use white or black paint for the game room?
BLITZ
(CONCERNED)
You think it has something to do with his Cano-mutator
project?

MASTER
(UNEASY)
Parvo is a very determined individual. You can be well
assured that he is still pursuing his quest to make a canine
mutant army so he can take over the world.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Well that is reassuring.

The Master looks around to all the Rovers.

MASTER
(PLEASED)
You have brought back important information. You have done
well Rovers. You're good good dogs.
Crow
But I'm upset that you didn't find my eyes
The Rovers are pleased with the praise.

MASTER
(CONCERNED)
But you'd all better get back to your homes and your
respective heads of states.

The Rovers stand up, Hunter points to the Master.

HUNTER
(CAUTIOUS)
Ah, excuse me Master. With all due respect, wouldn't it
better if we stuck around here until the computer analysis
on this Doug and Bridgett comes back?

The Master pauses for a moment to think, then nods.

MASTER
(SLOWLY)
Yes. Perhaps we may need to take quick action. You may stay.
Crow
While your here, find my eyes please
HUNTER
(PLEASED)
Thank you, Master.

The Master turns, walks into the bright light and
disappears. Everyone looks at Hunter.

COLLEEN
(CONFUSED)
What was that all about?

EXILE
(CONFUSED)
Da. We can be here in five minutes from our homes using the
luge tubes.

Hunter looks at the others.

HUNTER
(WHISPERS)
Well, if we're lucky it WILL take all night and we'll be
able to sleep in nice warm soft beds instead of cold hard
ground.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Eeew. I'm for that... I'm going to hit the showers.
Tom
A SHOWER SCENES ACOMING!
As Colleen turns and leaves, Shag mumbles something
intelligible and rubs is stomach.

BLITZ
(PLEASED)
I'm going to get out of these ridiculous clothes.

Shag turns and leaves, Hunter looks at Blitz.

HUNTER
(HURT)
Hey. I designed them.

BLITZ
(ANNOYED)
I know. You must have had a disturbed childhood.
Mike
Yes i was disturbed.
Blitz turns and leaves, the rest of the Rovers spilt.

EXTERIOR: WHITE HOUSE - HUNTER'S DOGHOUSE
Behind the White House in Washington DC is a typical
doghouse. It is dark in the White House and all the lights
are off. A cat is walking across the back yard. Suddenly, a
dog that looks like Hunter when he is not in his Cano-Sapien
state darts out of the doghouse and races after the cat. The
cat yowls and races for the nearest tree, it scampers up it.
The Hunter look-alike races to the foot of the tree and
places his forward paws on it, he begins to bark up the
tree. The lights in the White House come on.

PRESIDENT
(VOICE OVER, SOUTHERN ACCENT, GROGGY)
What is all that racket?
Mike
I'm trying to eat here!
FIRST LADY
(VOICE OVER, SOUTHERN ACCENT, GROGGY)
It sounds like Hunter.
Mike
He's eating Sox again
The silhouette of the President in his pajamas appears at
one of the windows.

PRESIDENT
(VOICE OVER, GROGGY)
Once again you're right honey, looks like Hunter chased Sox
up a tree.

FIRST LADY
(VOICE OVER, ANNOYED)
Again? That is the third time tonight.

PRESIDENT
(VOICE OVER, SARCASTIC)
Dogs will be dogs.

The Hunter decoy stops barking and looks towards the White
House, his eyes glow a slight red: He is a robot. He smiles
and looks back up the tree, be begins barking again.
Mike
That was totally pointless
Crow 
Like this movie
INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - MISSION STAGING AREA
In this huge dimly lit room are parked all the air and land
vehicles the Road Rovers have used on previous missions
(which have survived), including the Air Rover. Way up in
the ceiling is a large circular hatch, other than that there
is only one other exit from the room: a large sliding door.
All is quiet and still. Then, a figure creeps out of the
rear of the Air Rover. The figure is of a man, an Eskimo to
be exact. This is Steven Today. He is wearing black clothes
but his exposed skin is covered with an odd looking goo, it
makes him itch. Steven makes his way across the room and
over to the large exit. He stops and looks around at all the
vehicles.

STEVEN
(ESKIMO ACCENT)
By the design on everything I can safely say I'm in the
heart of the Road Rover's headquarters.
					Mike
				HE PUT HIMSELF IN THE MOVIE!
Steven smiles slyly.

STEVEN
(PLEASED)
The Boss's plan worked perfectly.
Crow
Except that now I'm probably going to step in something nasty
Steven begins to scratch a patch of skin.

STEVEN
(FRUSTRATED)
I just wish I didn't have to have this Dog Scent all over
me, the itching is driving me crazy.

Steven stops itching.

STEVEN
(RELIEVED)
Then again, if I wasn't wearing it the Road Rovers would
have sniffed me out as a human when they came on board.
Mike
Did hew say they came on over a board?
Tom
ewww
Steven turns and walks up to the exit, the door slides open.
He leaves the room and after a few seconds the door slides
closed again.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
This is a typical hallway deep inside the complex. It is
vacant except that Steven is walking down it, looking to and
fro.

STEVEN
(CONFUSED)
I wonder where this place is? Maybe I should have sneaked a
peek.

Steven stops and pauses, he shakes his head.

STEVEN
(BLUNT)
Nah. That's not why I'm here. The Boss wants to find out
their secret, what makes them Road Rovers. And that is
exactly what I have to do. I have no choice.
Mike
I must do something that won't affect the plot!
Steven continues down the hall.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - TRANSDOGMAFIER ROOM
This is a big room with several exits. Lined up against one
wall are the Transdogmafiers, theses are the chambers that
change the Road Rovers from ordinary dog to Cano-Sapiens and
back again. They are large tall walk-in metal cylinders.
Coming out of another wall are the tubes and tracks for the
luges which transport the Road Rovers at ultra-fast speed
between their homes with the heads of state of their
respected countries and this room, presently all five luges
are parked here and ready to go. The room is presently
vacant. Steven walks into the room, stops and looks around.

STEVEN
(CONFUSED)
What do we have here?
Mike
Giant toilet paper tubes
A smiles comes across Steven's face.

STEVEN
(SLY)
Ah. At last. The thing I've been searching for... Showers.
Tom
Something's about to happen
Steven scratches.

STEVEN
(FRUSTRATED)
This Dog Scent is coming off now.

Steven walks towards one of the Transdogmafiers and steps
inside.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - TRANSDOGMAFIER
CHAMBER
This is a large empty chamber which has no features. Steven
steps inside and the dark room comes to life.

TRANSDOGMAFIER CHAMBER
(COMPUTERIZED VOICE)
Pure canine subject detected. Beginning Cano-Sapien process.
Crow
Its So Trekkish
STEVEN
(STARTLED)
What the... What's going on?

Lights flash and smoke fills the room.

STEVEN
(CONFUSED)
I feel all funny. I'd better get out of...
Mike
..here
Steven's voice trails off and begins to squirm and writhe,
he also begins to scream with extreme pain.
Tom
Did someone flush?
TRANSDOGMAFIER CHAMBER
(COMPUTERIZED VOICE)
Warning. Subject is incompatible. Warning.
Tom
Fatal Error. Deleting all files!
The smoke obscures Steven from total view.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - TRANSDOGMAFIER ROOM
The chamber that Steven stepped into is in full cycle, the
silhouette of his body fades in and out as he continues to
scream with extreme pain. Professor Hubert, who is a
Bloodhound and Cano-Sapien (male) wearing glasses, rushes
into the room. Hubert quickly looks around the room and
spots the functioning Transdogmafier, he rushes up to it.

HUBERT
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Hey! You in there! Who are you? What is going on?
Mike
hey who's this?
Steven just continues to scream.
Crow
This dog sounds like Grandpa off of Rugrats
HUBERT
(EXCITED)
Hunter? Is that you?

Steven continues with his painful cries. Hubert sniffs the
chamber, his eyes open wider.

HUBERT
(SHOCKED)
You're not Hunter...
Mike
Your STEVEN TODAY!
Steven darts out of the chamber, crashes into Hubert and
knocks him down. He continues on and out of the room,
everything happens so fast that Steven appears just as a
blur. Hubert sits up and looks towards the exit, shaken.

HUBERT
(DAZED)
That wasn't even a Road Rover. But a...

Hubert's voice trails off as he jumps to his feet and races
over to an alarm button, he presses it. A loud blaring siren
sounds throughout the complex.
Tom
I see they got Movie sign too.
INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - HUNTER'S BEDROOM
This is very similar to what would be in a human's: Bed,
desk, chair, etc. Hunter is all snuggled on the bed
underneath the warm blankets, he appears to be quite
comfortable. The alarm is blaring loudly, he quickly jumps
up to a sitting position. He looks up into the air with
disgust.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Did something forget to let the cat in?
Tom
Hahaha, that was so funny, i forgot to laugh
The alarm continues to sound.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - KITCHEN
This is a huge fully equipped kitchen with all the modern
necessities, it appears to be something more suited for a
large restaurant. The refrigerator door is open and Shag is
putting the finishing touches on a huge submarine sandwich.
The alarm is blaring still. He looks up in the air, then
back at his sandwich. He licks his lips. He looks back up in
the air, hesitates and sighs. He picks up the sandwich and
heads towards the refrigerator, but stops halfway. He looks
down at the sandwich and thinks. He then slips his sandwich
inside his thick fur coat and it disappears completely. He
quickly turns and dashes out of the room, the siren is still
going.
Mike begins to snore
INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - COLLEEN'S BATHROOM
Again, this is typical to what a human would have. Sink,
shower, medicine cabinet, etc. The shower is on and the
shower curtain is drawn closed, steam rises from it. Hanging
on a rack set into the wall next to the shower is a towel
and a bathrobe, the blaring alarm can easily be heard.

COLLEEN
(BEHIND SHOWER CURTAIN, ANNOYED)
Oh great.
Mike
Wha? who? did i miss anything?
Tom
nope, go back to sleep
The shower is turned off and the wet furry hand of Colleen
reaches through the curtain, it quickly snatches up the
towel and bathrobe from the rack. After a few seconds, she
angrily flings the curtain open. She stands in the shower
dripping wet, the bathrobe tied around her and the towel is
wrapped around her head. She storms out of the shower.
Tom
Please let the towel slip
COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Why is it that every time I get into the shower the phone
rings?

Colleen continues to storm out of the room, the alarm is
still sounding.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
The hallway is vacant. Hunter, running at supper speed,
races down the hall. He is only wearing pajama bottoms. He
is moving so quick that he leaves a fiery trail behind him.
He disappears around a corner.
Crow
Still say Sonic's faster
EXTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - GROUNDS
It is at it was before, except even out here the blaring
siren can be heard.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - TRANSDOGMAFIER ROOM
Hubert and Hunter are the only ones here, they are talking
among each other. Colleen (still wearing her bathrobe and
towel), Exile (wearing the clothes he was before), Blitz
(wearing the typical Road Rover metallic suit) and Shag rush
into the room. Hubert and Hunter turn towards them.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
What's all the noise about?
Tom
Hey Mike, wake up
Tom pokes Mike
Mike
GAH! FOOTBALL PRACTICE!
COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
Yeah. Why is that blooming alarm sounding?
Mike
*yawn*
HUNTER
(SERIOUS)
We have an intruder.

BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
Who?
Crow
Someone named Ivan Tomarrow
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Well if we knew who he wouldn't be an intruder.

EXILE
(CONCERNED)
Do we have any description of them?

HUBERT
(BLUNT)
Only that it is not like anyone you have ever seen.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Professor Hubert. Could you be a little more descriptive?

Hubert shakes his head.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Spread out. Search everywhere. If you run into them you'll
know it.

BLITZ
(MUSHY)
I would much prefer to search with Colleen.
Tom
BACKOFF GERMAN MUTT!
Colleen looks at Blitz.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
And I would prefer to go to the vet than that.

Blitz is wounded by the remark. Colleen turns and rushes out
of the room. Blitz recovers and looks around to everyone,
they are staring at him

BLITZ
(DEFENSIVE)
She likes me. She really does.
Tom
NO SHE LIKES ME!
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Yeah. Right.

Hunter turns and rushes out of the room.

BLITZ
(DEFENSIVE)
She does.
Tom
SHE HATES YOU YOU IDDIOT!
Everyone but Blitz and Exile rushes out of the room. He
looks at Exile.

BLITZ
(DESPERATE)
She will. You'll see.

Exile walks up to Blitz.

EXILE
(BLUNT)
As we say in Siberia. Fatty chance.
Mike
This is how we say in America, SHUT THE HELL UP!
BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
What do you mean?

EXILE
(BLUNT)
Pettie Plane your not.
Tom
The Hell?
Exile turns and walks out the door. Blitz sighs.

BLITZ
(FRUSTRATED)
Who is?
Crow
me
Blitz turns and exits the room as well..

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
In a dark corner, Steven is huddled over into a ball. All
that we can see is the back on him. He is shivering and
shaking.
Mike
So-o-o-o-o-o- co-o-o-o-o-o-ld
STEVEN
(SHAKEN)
What happened back there? I feel so strange. Hot and itchy.
Like something weird is covering my entire body, and it
isn't the Dog Scent goo. It feels like...

Steven's voice trails off. He reaches up and feels his face.

STEVEN
(TERRIFIED)
No... It can't be... This is impossible... I'm a...

Steven jumps into a standing position and faces us. His
entire body is covered with black fur but the area around
his face is white, with two white dots above his eyes. He
still has the frame of a human but has the head and tail of
an Alaskan Malamute, he has claws on his hands and long
canine teeth. His left eye is blue and his right is green.
He has been Transdogmafied into a Cano-Sapien, in this state
he will be referred as Bear. He screams in horror.
Tom
TRICK OR TREAT!
COLLEEN
(OFF SCREEN)
You there! Hold it!

Bear looks down the hall and spots Colleen racing after him.

BEAR
(FRIGHTEN)
No. I mustn't get caught. Not like this.
Mike
RUN BOY! RUN!
Bear turns and begins to run down the hall. But Colleen
gives an attack cry and slides across the floor feet first,
her feet collide with his and he tumbles to the ground. He
recovers and climbs back onto his feet, but Colleen is
already standing before him. They looks each other over, she
is pleased at what she sees.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Saaay. You're not bad looking. Mind if I sniff you?
Tom
Lassie's getting personal here
Bear forces a smile.

BEAR
(PATRONIZING)
Well, you're not too bad yourself... For a dog.
Crow
Wha tdid he expect?
COLLEEN
(TAKEN ABACK)
What do you think you are?
Mike
Steve Today
Bear points a thumb at himself.

BEAR
(INFURIATED)
I'm no dog!!!
Mike<redneck voice>
I be a Canine
COLLEEN
(CONFUSED)
Then what are yo...

Colleen's voice trails off and her eyes widen. She points a
finger at Bear.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
You're a Cano-Mutant! Parvo sent you to destroy us!

Colleen looks down the hall the way she came.

COLLEEN
(SCREAMS)
I found him! I found him! He's down here! And he's a Cano-
Mutant!

In a panic, Bear throws a block on Colleen which knocks her
off her feet. Then, he dashes down the hall the way he was
headed. She sits up and watches him go.

COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
Oh no you don't.
Crow
Oh yes he does!
Colleen jumps to her feet and gives chase. The foot steps of
the other Road Rovers can be heard down the hall.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - REFUSE AREA
This is a huge room stacked with barrels and lined with
dumpsters full of garbage, each is clearly labeled refuse.
There is also a trash compactor and a conveyor belt. There
are two ways in and out of the room. Bear dashes in, but
Colleen can be heard close behind.

COLLEEN
(FROM THE OTHER ROOM. ANNOYED)
Would you blooming stop!
Mike
Not till i retrieve that stick some guy threw!
Bear hesitates, but continues on. Colleen rushes into the
room.

COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
Okay. You asked for it.

Colleen gives a deafening battle cry and leaps into the air,
trying to drop kick Bear. As soon as he hears it he stops in
his track from fear. The rest of the Road Rovers rush in the
room and come to a halt just in time to see her fly past him
(flying threw the air where Bear WOULD have been if he had
kept running), her expression is shock. She flies into one
of the dumpsters.

BLITZ
(SHOCKED)
Did you see how he evaded Colleen?

EXILE
(SURPRISED)
He's good. He's really good.
Mike
THESE MUTTS ARE IDDIOTS!
Bear turns towards the voice and spots the Road Rovers, he
quickly turns away from them and dashes out of the room.

COLLEEN
(FROM INSIDE DUMPSTER, ANNOYED)
Can someone please give me a paw here?
Hunter points at the dumpster.

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
You guys help Colleen! I'll get the intruder!
Mike
heh heh heh, I'll go get something to eat while they do this
Colleen can be heard sniffing.

COLLEEN
(FROM INSIDE DUMPSTER, ANNOYED)
I don't think I need to remind you what kind of dog refuse
is in here.
Tom
ewww
Exile, Blitz and Shag give a disgusting look.

BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
Uh. Hunter. How about if you help Colleen and we nab the
intruder.
Mike
RATS! that might put a hault to my fridge raid
Hunter ignores the suggestion and races after Bear. The Rest
of the Road Rovers shrugs their shoulders and slowly move
towards the dumpster.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
Bear is dashing madly down a typical corridor. But Hunter,
running at super speed and leaving a fiery trail behind him,
is quickly coming up the rear.
Crow
I know for a fact Sonic's faster. Heck, Tails is too!
In an instant he has passed
Bear, come to a stop and is blocking his way. Bear comes to
an abrupt stop, Hunter smiles at him.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Going somewhere... Cano-Mutant?
Tom
Maybe....Dickweed
Bear looks at Hunter in dismay for a moment, then turns and
dives through an open doorway. Hunter just chuckles.

HUNTER
(CHUCKLING)
When will they learn?
Mike
If this movie is any clue...never
With a burst of blinding speed, Hunter races through the
doorway and after Bear.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - STORAGE ROOM
This is a large empty room. An automatic buffing machine is
moving back and forth, waxing the floor near a sign that
reads: "CAUTION - Freshly Waxed Floor".
Crow
As if we couldnt' see this coming
Bear is sprawled out
on the floor near the door and to the side (this is where he
landed when he dived through the doorway). Hunter rushes in
but once he hits the waxed floor his super speed turns into
a super slide.
Crow
Sonic's smarter too.
He slides uncontrollably across the room and
smacks hard spread eagle into the far wall, he is stunned
and in extreme pain.
Mike <dazed voice>
But mommy, I don't want to ride the horsey anymore
Bear carefully gets back on his feet.
Blitz and Exile appear in the doorway, they look around and
notice Hunter.

BLITZ
(SURPRISED)
You okay Hunter?

Bear quickly turns towards Blitz

HUNTER
(IN PAIN)
He's good... He's really good.
Tom
If they consider him good. I'd hate to see what they consider Excellent
Bear dashes between the two Rovers and out of the room.
Blitz just continues to stare at Hunter, but Exile turns
towards the way the intruder escaped. He points after him.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Shag! Stop him!
Mike
Hmm this should be funny...or stupid
Exile races after him, Blitz remains.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
Shag is in the middle of the hallway and in the direct path
of Bear, Exile is racing after him. He is still pointing at
Bear.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Stop him! Don't let him passed you!
Crow
He's got my bone!
Shag open his arms in an effort to try and nab Bear. He
tries to stop but he is going too fast, Bear slides into him
and disappears in his thick fur.
Mike
In one side...
Exile stops in his tracks.
Shag quickly feels around in his fur, but before he can
locate him Bear dashes out the back of Shag's fur.
Tom
..and out the other
He is
racing away holding the huge submarine sandwich, after a few
steps he drops it.Shag turns and notices this, Exile races
up to him. Shag mumbles something to him, Exile nods.

EXILE
(SHOCKED)
Yes. He IS good.
Crow
Geez they're all dumb
Exile gets a real mean look on his face.

EXILE
(ANNOYED)
But not better than the Road Rovers. Let's get him!

Shag nods, Exile and Shag race after Bear. But when Shag
reaches his sandwich he stops, picks it up and starts eating
it.
Tom
You go on..I'll guard the sandwhich
Exile is oblivious to this. The chase continues.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
In a different corridor, Bear is running for his life. Exile
is not too far behind.

EXILE
(FRUSTRATED)
I think it is time to give this dog a Siberian hotfoot.
Crow
ACTIVATE PHASER EYES!
Exile's eyes glow bright red and two heat beams fire from
his eyes toward Bear. But just as they are about to hit him,
he darts around a corner (oblivious to what is happening
behind him). The heat beams hits a pipe on the far wall, it
bursts and a stream of water shoots towards Exile. He stops
in his tracks and the stream hits him square in the chest,
Mike
BAP!
he is thrown back. He smacks hard against a wall and then
falls against it in a sitting position. Blitz comes running
down the hall and stops before Exiles, they look at each
other.

EXILE
(SHOCKED)
How did he know what a Siberian hotfoot was?

BLITZ
(BLUNT)
That is because he's good. He's really good.
Mike
I've run out of jokes for that
Blitz turns and races after Bear.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
In yet another hall, Bear is still running. Blitz rounds a
corner and continues after him. He extends his claws and
bares his teeth.

BLITZ
(PLEASED)
Now comes my favorite part.
Crow
Blitz is about to discover pain.
Blitz chomps and slashes in the air a few times, still
chasing Bear. The Intruder looks over his shoulder, he not
only sees Blitz but notices that he is quickly gaining on
him. Bear tries to run faster but it is no use, Blitz is
quicker. The Rover is now within reach of the Intruder.

BLITZ
(EXCITED)
You're cat meat!
Mike
Actually, dog meat
Bear screams in terror as Blitz reaches for him with his
sharp claws. But just at that moment, Muzzle comes bouncing
out of one of the doorways in the direct path of the Rover.
The two collide and crash into a heap on the floor, Bear
disappears around a corner. Blitz forces a smile.

BLITZ
(UNEASY)
Muzzle. I don't suppose it would help to tell you how good
he is.

Muzzle growls at Blitz.
Tom
He said: "LET ME OUT OF THIS CRAPPY MOVIE!!"
BLITZ
(SCARED)
How about that I had the right of way?

Foam begins to come out of Muzzles muzzled mouth. 
Crow
HEY! It's Foamy from Freakazoid!
Blitz
yipes, jumps to his feet and runs away. Muzzle is in hot
rolling pursuit, foaming and barking.
Mike
KIL KILL KILL KILL!
INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - MISSION STAGING AREA
ENTRANCE
This is the hallway that leads to the doorway to the Mission
Staging Area, the door is currently open. As Hubert is
stepping through the door and into the hall Bear is racing
down the hall towards him, Exile, Blitz, Shag and Muzzle are
chasing him. Hubert looks up and notices that the Intruder
is heading right for him. He quickly rushes over to a keypad
next to the door and punches in a code, the door slowly
begins to close.
Mike
Like thats going to stop someone as good as him
Bear notices this and runs faster. Just as
the door is about to seal shut, the Intruder reaches it and
dives through and just clears the door.
Crow
SAFE!
Tom
ARE YOU NUTS?! HE WAS OUT BY A MILE!
The Mission Staging
Area is sealed off with Bear inside. Blitz reaches the door
first, he continues to run towards it excepting it will
open. 
Crow
Here comes teh old crash into the door bit
It doesn't. He runs smack into the door.
Mike
BLAM!
Blitz
stumbles back and rubs his hurt nose, the rest of the Road
Rover stop near him. Hunter, running at super speed, races
up to the group and stops. Blitz turns to Hubert.

BLITZ
(NASALLY)
Why didn't the door open?
Crow
'Cause this isn't Star Trek
HUBERT
(EMBARRASSED)
It's locked. I tried to seal the Intruder out but he was too
quick.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Then unlock it so we can get in.

HUBERT
(EMBARRASSED)
Unfortunately, I placed a time lock on it. It won't open for
an hour.
Crow
How Convient. We spend an watching them wait.
BLITZ
(NASALLY)
Wonderful.
Tom
This Sucks!
Colleen appears behind the group.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Hi guys. Remember me?
Crow
No not really. Who are you?
Everyone turns and looks at Colleen, she is covered with
grim and dirt. Exile and Blitz can't look her in the eye,
she looks directly at them.

COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
That's right. I'm the one you left in the dumpster.
Tom
Sorry, still don't remember.
EXILE
(CAUTIOUS)
No offense, but we didn't want to share inthe new odor you
discovered.

Hunter waves his hand in front of his nose.

HUNTER
(DISGUSTED)
What IS that awful smell?
Mike
It's called garbage Hunter.
COLLEEN
(ANGRY)
Well! I'm about to show my good friends exactly what it is!
Crow
Mike, any idea who the collie is?
Mike
Nope
Colleen takes a step towards Blitz and Exile, horror comes
across their faces.
Crow
Oh God! She's got Apple Cores!
Hunter steps between them, he looks at
Colleen.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
This is no time for fooling around.
Tom
When is?
COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Fooling around! Do you know where I've been?
Mike
Do we want to know?
Hunter thumbs towards the locked door.
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Our Intruder friend is locked inside there.
Tom
With all the vehicles
Colleen's anger turns to surprise.

COLLEEN
(SHOCKED)
He's got access to the vehicles? He can escape!
Crow
They just keep getting dumber
Hunter lowers his hand.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Precisely. That is why he have to concentrate on stopping
him.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Well. If we can't unlock the door then lets bust it in!
Tom
YEAH!
HUBERT
(FRUSTRATED)
Impossible. That door is made of a special titanium alloy,
one of the strongest ever made. It is designed to keep
anyone or anything out. There is no way in.
Mike
Well, that plan's a flop. let's go to bed.
BLITZ
(SMUG)
Then we will have to do the next best thing.
Crow
End the movie?
Tom
We're not that lucky
Blitz extends his super sharp claws and everyone looks on
with confusion.
Crow
Ah, I get it. He's part can opener
He walks to the wall next to the door and
begins to claw at it, it only takes a few swipes before he
has created a new doorway. Blitz points at it.

BLITZ
(PROUD)
There. We're in.
Mike
That was the smartest scene yet.
Hubert scratches his head.

HUBERT
(EMBARRASSED)
Hmmm. I'll have to work on that.
Mike
HE RUINED IT!
Blitz rushes through the new opening, the rest follow.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - MISSION STAGING AREA
As the Rovers rush into the room through the new entrance
the engines on the Air Rover come to life, the side door is
still open on the vehicle. The Rovers come to a stop, Hunter
points at the jet.

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
He's firing up the Air Rover!
Mike
We can see that.
EXILE
(EXCITED)
He's escaping!
Crow
We can see that too
The engines rotate on all four wings and point downward,
then they rev up to full power. The craft slowly begins to
lift vertically.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
And there isn't a blooming thing we can do to stop him!
Tom
DO THEY THINK WE'RE BLIND?!?!?!
BLITZ
(BLUNT)
Not while Blitz is around.
Tom
Blitz, Blitz, he's our dog, if he can't do it, they'll whiz on a log!
Blitz rushes towards the ascending jet and leaps up into the
air towards the open door, he is just barely able to reach
it with his super sharp claws. He manages to grab onto the
doorway and dangles from it. As the craft climbs higher and
higher he loses his grip with one hand and dangles by the
other.
Crow begins singing the "Mission:Impossible" theme
Crow
Dun Dun Dunna, Dun Dun Dunna, Dun Dun Dunna, Dunna Dun,
Dunna Dun, Dunna Dun, DUNNA!
INTERIOR: AIR ROVER - MAIN SECTION
This is a large open area which has the open side hatch. The
cockpit is visible in the front and has a pilot and copilot
chairs, four more chairs are lined behind them. There are
two sets of flight sticks and many other controls. Bear is
strapped in the pilot's chair and is flying the craft. He
smiles.
Tom
Oh who says dogs can't fly?
Mike
Not me!
BEAR
(PROUD)
Those flying lessons I received in the war are still paying
off.
Crow
Yeah, back in the war...the war...the war...
BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
Then it is about time you received a dishonorable discharge.

Bear quickly spins around and sees Blitz standing near the
open door, as he does his knee hits a set of controls.
Crow
Dun Dun Dunna Dun, DUNNAAAAAA!!! 
EXTERIOR: AIR ROVER - FUSELAGE
As the jet continues up towards the ceiling hatch the
fuselage of the craft begins to rotate but the wings remain
level. It is moving so the open hatch is turning downwards.
Tom
I predict Blitz will fall
INTERIOR: AIR ROVER - MAIN SECTION
Out the front window we can see the fuselage is still
rotating, Blitz notices the changing angle. He begins to
slide towards the open hatch.

BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
Something told me this wasn't such a good idea.
Crow
Yet you did it anyways
Blitz dives flat on the floor but he continues to slide
towards the open hatch. He claws desperately at the metal
floor, but it is smooth and his claws have nothing to grab
onto. As he slides out the hatch he claws frantically at the
edge of it but like the floor, everything is too smooth. He
falls out of the craft.
Tom
I must be Psychic or something
Crow
Noy psychic, psycho.
EXTERIOR: AIR ROVER - FUSELAGE
Blitz plummets helplessly towards the floor far below.
Mike
We'll I ever hit the ground?
INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - MISSION STAGING AREA
The Rovers on the floor look up and see Blitz falling to his
doom, Exile points up to him.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
He's falling!
Mike
Once again, we can see that.
HUBERT
(EXCITED)
He'll be killed!
Tom
And thats bad because.....?
Shag covers his eyes. Hunter, moving at super speed again,
races over to a large steel barrel with wheels which has and
is marked: "USED OIL". At blinding speed, he pushes the
barrel over and directly underneath the falling Blitz just
as he is about to hit the ground. He lands inside the oil
with a big splash.
Crow
Blitz now has oily skin
After a few seconds Blitz pops his head
out, he doesn't look too pleased. Everyone is relieved and
rushes over to him. He looks at Hunter.
Mike
Oil's well that ends well.
Tom
Mike, please don't ever say that again.
BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
I don't know if I should thank you or kill you.
Mike
How about ending the movie?!
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
It doesn't matter. Remember, I'm both super appreciative and
super forgiving.

BLITZ
(ANNOYED)
It's decided. I'll kill you.
Tom
Hey if Hunter dies, will the movie end?
Hubert smiles and looks up to the still climbing Air Rover.

HUNTER
(SMUG)
At least with the ceiling hatch closed our Intruder friend
won't be getting far.

Everyone else smiles at the thought.

INTERIOR: AIR ROVER - MAIN SECTION
Bear is desperately flipping switches and turning knobs.

EXTERIOR: AIR ROVER - FUSELAGE
The fuselage of the craft stops turning and begins to rotate
back the other way, also the hatch is the ceiling opens.
Crow
Saw that comign didn't you?
INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - MISSION STAGING AREA
Back on the ground, the Road Rovers notice both that the
craft is righting itself again and the ceiling hatch is
opening. Everyone loses their smiles.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
I would not have predicted this.
Mike<quoting colleen>
"Your predictions are constantly off"
HUBERT
(EMBARRASSED)
Ooops.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Ooops! What's ooops?

HUBERT
(EMBARRASSED)
I forgot I installed manual override controls on each
vehicle.
Crow
Boy they're all dumb
EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Don't you just hate it when that happens.
Mike
If it makes the movie longer, yes
HUBERT
(IMPRESSED)
He's good. He's really good.
Mike sighs in disgust
The Air Rover flies up through the ceiling hatch and
disappears.

COLLEEN
(FRUSTRATED)
Brilliant! Just Brilliant!
Crow
Smart, very smart. It's Magnavox
Exile looks around at everyone.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Come on! We can take one of the other Rovers and pursue.

Hunter looks at Exile.

HUNTER
(FRUSTRATED)
Look at us. Do we look like were in any condition for a
chase?

Everyone looks at each other, they shrug their shoulders.
Mike
If you catch him, the movie will be over!
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Besides, you know how the Master gets when we play with
stray dogs.
Crow
Plus you still haven't found his eyes
COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
He must be informed!

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
Then let's move Rovers!

The group turns and races for the exit.

EXTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - SURFACE
This is the surface of the earth above Road Rover Mission
Control. It is a desert like area of the southwest, there is
sand and cactuses all around.
Tom
Visit beautiful, scenic Unknown place!
It is night and the moon is
full above, there is a large crater nearby. A secret door
opens in the ground and the Air Rover flies out, still
moving in a vertical direction. As it climbs higher, the
engines of the craft begin to rotate back to their original
position so the vertical ascent decreases and forward motion
increases. The engines lock back to a horizontal position
and the vehicle begins to fly like a normal jet
(horizontal), it speeds up and flies away.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - BRIEFING ROOM
The Rovers are gathered around the large table again, they
are still all mugged up and half dressed. The Master is on
his balcony and is talking to them.

MASTER
(DISTURBED)
This is very bad news. This intruder knows our exact
location. This could jeopardize everything we've worked for.
Crow
If only I had my eyes
COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
But what can we do? He's already escaped.

MASTER
(SLY)
Not necessarily. Each Rover is equipment with a homing
device for just such an emergency. Professor Hubert can help
you on tracking down the Air Rover.
Mike
Uh....nevermind...
EXILE
(EXCITED)
Even if we are able to track down this intruder. He knows
our secret. What would be the use?
All
THE FREAKING MOVIE WOULD BE OVER!
MASTER
(BLUNT)
We still may be able to minimize the damage he can cause.

BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
What are you suggesting if we catch up to him?

There is a pause of silence.

MASTER
(CAUTIOUS)
I'm not really sure. But your mission is to find him. And
with great haste.
Crow
And please look for my eyes. I really need them.
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Yes Master.

Hunter stands up.

HUNTER
(PROUD)
We're dogs with a mission.
Crow
and wew care because?
The Road Rovers quickly stand up and gather around Hunter.

HUNTER
(PROUD)
We're...
Mike
BIG STINKY CANINES!
ROAD ROVERS
(PROUD AND IN UNISON)
...Road Rovers!
Mike
That too
The Road Rover howl is unison. Then, they break up and rush
away.
Tom
Do they have to howl?
EXTERIOR: HIDEOUT - ROOF
Deep in Gypsum City is a large multistory modern building.
It is still night here and the Air Rover is parked on the
roof. Traffic passes by below.

INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - OFFICE
This is a very plush office filled with many expensive
things, there is one exit. Doug and Bridgett are standing
before a large desk, he is very uneasy. A Stranger is seated
in a large swivel chair but is facing away from us (and the
criminals) and we can not make out who it is (even if it is
a man or a woman). Bridgett is talking to the Stranger.

BRIDGETT
(EXCITED)
...And when they questioned us I kept my mouth shut but Doug
spilled the beans on everything!
Crow
Then he went and did teh unthinkable!
STRANGER
(DEEP VOICE, CONCERNED)
Everything?
Tom
All except for the jaded monkie's location
BRIDGETT
(EXCITED)
Everything! Including who we work for!
Crow
Well, now we can get a progress report
STRANGER
(CONCERNED)
And did they believe you?

BRIDGETT
(EXCITED)
They took the bait completely!

The Stranger in the chair spins around towards Doug and
Bridgett, we see who it is. It is a middle aged black man in
a business suit, he is holding a folder with two sheets of
paper in it. This is Ross Dole. He looks up to them and
smiles.

ROSS
(CONCERNED)
Then they have no clue that you are working for me?
Crow
Oh no, another new character!
BRIDGETT
(PROUD)
No idea what so ever.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Excellent. You both did a fine job.
Mike
You may each have half a dog biscuit
BRIDGETT
(PROUD)
Thanks boss.

Doug only nods.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
You shall both be rewarded.
Mike
Is 2 cents enough?
DOUG
(EXCITED)
You don't mean...

ROSS
(PLEASED)
That is exactly what I mean.
Crow
You can have your beanie babies back

Both Doug and Bridgett's faces light up. Ross places the
folder on the desk and opens it up, he removes the two
sheets of paper. He holds them out to the criminals, one in
each hand. They both snatch up a sheet and quickly look it
over. Once satisfied they are authentic, they tear up the
sheets and throw them into the air. They laugh with joy and
dance around.
Crow
That was stupid
ROSS
(BLUNT)
Just remember, there is more from where that came.
Mike
we get to shred more?! GOODY!
Doug and Bridgett stop laughing, they become very somber.

BRIDGETT
(SERIOUS)
Yes. Of course. We understand.

DOUG
(UPBEAT)
And I thought our only reward was you springing us out of
jail.

BRIDGETT
(CURIOUS)
How did you get them to drop all charges?

Ross smiles menacingly.
ROSS
(BLUNT)
The same way I do everything, someone owed me a favor...
Just like you two still do.

Doug and Bridgett only nod. The door flies open and everyone
turns towards it. Bear goes flying into the room and hits
the floor hard.
Tom
I retrieved your slippers
A large muscular women steps into the room,
this is Beast. Another smaller, older and frailer bald woman
dressed in a lab coat and wearing glasses follows her. This
is Research. Beast walks over to Bear, bends down and picks
him up back on his feet by the scruff of the neck. She then
forces Bear up to the desk, Doug and Bridgett step to one
side. Research also approaches the desk. Ross looks at
Beast.

ROSS
(ANNOYED)
Beast. What is the meaning of this?
Crow
Thats not Beast, Beast's blue and furry
BEAST
(AUSTRALIAN ACCENT)
Sorry to disturb you, Boss. But I thought you ought to see
this?

Ross looks Bear over.

ROSS
(CONFUSED)
What exactly am I looking at?
Mike
The reason this movie is so long
RESEARCH
(AUSTRIAN ACCENT)
You may find this hard to believe, sir. But this creature
here is our Eskimo friend.

ROSS
(CONFUSED)
Research. Are you telling me this is Steven Today?
Tom
No, it's stefan Tomarrow
RESEARCH
(PLEASED)
The one and the same, sir.
Crow
I want those reports by tomarrow, Today!
Ross looks at Bear with astonishment.

ROSS
(IMPRESSED)
I knew these Malemuit Eskimos were great at disguises and
concealment, which is why I hired one. But this is
incredible!

RESEARCH
(CAUTIOUS)
I'm afraid you misunderstand, sir. This is no disguise. This
is Mister Today's actual appearance.
Crow
Gross isn't it?
Ross quickly looks at Research.

ROSS
(DUMBFOUNDED)
What?

BEAST
(PROUD)
It is true, Boss. I tried to remove the fur myself. It is
his real skin.
Mike
No it isn't, he just glued it on.
RESEARCH
(PLEASED)
As you may have noticed, sir. Our friend has taken the
appearance of an Alaskan Malamute, the dog the Malemuits
were chiefly responsible for breeding. But to be quite
honest, I have no idea how he came to this state. My guess
is that it has something to do with the Road Rovers.
Crow
Nah, REALLY?
Ross jumps to his feet and races around the desk, he grabs
Bear and rips him from Beast's hold. He begins to shake Bear
vigorously.
Mike
Cough up those slippers, boy!
ROSS
(EXCITED)
Is this true? Did you find the Road Rovers?

Bear hesitates, then nods. Ross jumps for joy.

ROSS
(OVERJOYED)
To be quite honest, I had little hope of this plan ever
working. But you did it! You did it!

After a few seconds, Ross settles down. He lets go of Bear
and looks at him.

ROSS
(RESTRAINED)
But back to business. Okay, how does this conversion process
work?

Bear shrugs his shoulder.

BEAR
(HONEST)
I haven't a clue.
Crow
I just stepped into one of their showers and this is what happened
ROSS
(CONFUSED)
What?

RESEARCH
(EXCITED)
What do you mean you don't know?

BEAST
(ANNOYED)
Tell the Boss what he wants to know.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
All I know was one moment I was a human and the next I was a
dog.
Mike
Yeeup
There is a long unsteady pause.

ROSS
(UNDERSTANDING)
Okay. At least tell me where there secret headquarters is.

Bear shrugs his shoulders again.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
I have no idea.
Tom
He's really useful
ROSS
(EXCITED)
What?

RESEARCH
(EXCITED)
How could you not know?

BEAST
(ANNOYED)
Answer the Boss or I'll break your neck.

Beast hits Bear in the arm.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
On the way there I was hiding so I couldn't see anything. On
the way back I punched in Gypsum City into the flight
computer and hear I am.

ROSS
(CONCERNED)
Can you tell me anything?
Mike
Yellow and Blue make green
BEAR
(CONFUSED)
It was dark. All I can say is that the hidden installation
is somewhere far southwest.

There is another long pause.

BEAST
(BLUNT)
He's holding out, Boss.

ROSS
(EXCITED)
Tell me what I want to know and I'll return everything that
is yours.
Tom
I'll get my Stamp collection back!

BEAR
(DISAPPOINTED)
I wish I could.
Mike
i wish i might! have this wish i wish tonight!
Crow
I WISH THIS MOVIE WAS OVER!
BEAST
(ANGRY)
Boss! Let me have him for an hour! I'll beat it out of him!
Tom
Um, No comment
RESEARCH
(DISGUSTED)
How barbaric. I have more subdue means of making him talk.
Crow
No comment
There is a pause.

ROSS
(BLUNT)
No. Mister Today is new to our organization. I think he is
just having a minor relapse. It would best suit our needs if
he was taken downstairs and locked up for a while. Giving
him time alone to think it over.
Mike
<impersonating Beavis>
Heh Heh Heh, he said "think"
BEAST
(DISAPPOINTED)
Well, you're the Boss. I'll do as you say. But it won't be
as much fun.
Crow
<impersonating Butthead>
She said "Fun"
RESEARCH
(EXCITED)
I will have to agree with Beast on this one.
Tom
Ok....That was pointless guys.
ROSS
(BLUNT)
Take him away. But don't try anything funny. Remember, I
still own you two.
Mike
Hey guys, I'm gonna take a nap.
Crow
me too
Tom
Not like will miss anything
BEAST
(SCARED)
Of course.
Crow
ZzZzZz
RESEARCH
(QUICKLY)
I would never go against your orders.
Tom
*snore*
Ross gives them both a stern look then turns, walks around
his desk and sits back down. Beast grabs Bear by the scruff
of the neck again, she begins to drag him away. Research
follows. Bear fights and squirms but it is of no use.
Mike
Ooo, come to mike!
BEAR
(EXCITED)
I swear! I know nothing!
Crow
ZzZzZz nothing really matters...
ROSS
(SARCASTIC)
Time will tell.
Tom
*snore* time...like and endless rhyme..*snore*
Bear is dragged out, Research follows. Doug and Bridgett
look at the door with great horror.

ROSS
(SARCASTIC)
Let this be a lesson to us all.
Mike
Never mix dog poo with soda
Ross smiles menacingly.

EXTERIOR: GYPSUM CITY - SKYLINE
It is still night. A large twin-rotor helicopter with big
snarling teeth painted on the nose of it is flying low over
the building. It has jet engines which are firing and the
blades are barely moving, it moves more like a jet than a
helicopter. This is the Rotor Rover. The Jet engines shut
off and the rotors speed up.
Mike
GAH! I'm awake I'm awake!
Crow
I am too
Tom
Ooo, Colleen..come closer...
INTERIOR: ROTOR ROVER - COCKPIT
This is similar to the one in the Air Rover, except it is
separated from the rest of the craft and their is a large
radar like screen set into the dash. Colleen is strapped
into the pilot's seat and is flying the vehicle, Hunter is
strapped in the copilot's seat. Exile, Shag, Blitz and
Muzzle are in seats behind them. All the Rovers have cleaned
up and are dressed in the typical Road Rover metallic
costume (except Muzzle and Shag). Hunter has his eyes peeled
on the radar, they are very close to their target.
Mike
Yo Tom, wake up pal.
he shakes Tom
COLLEEN
(AUTHORITATIVE)
Jets have disengaged and rotors are back on-line.
Tom
What? Oh, the movie's still on
HUNTER
(PLEASED)
Good. The Air Rover will be coming up soon.
Crow
Air Rover? Is that like Air Jordon?
COLLEEN
(AUTHORITATIVE)
Switching to murmur mode.
Mike
Murmer, Murmer, Murmer
Colleen flips a switch.

EXTERIOR: GYPSUM CITY - SKYLINE
As the Rotor Rover continues over the city, the noise
created by the rotating blades disappears almost completely.
Crow
What happened to the sound?
Mike
Steve's movie gets even cheesier
INTERIOR: ROTOR ROVER - COCKPIT
Everyone looks out the front windshield, anxiously.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
There she is!
Tom
IT BE THE WHITE WHALE!
EXILE
(BLUNT)
There IT is.
		
Everyone ignores Exile.

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
Take us down.
Crow
uh oh, get ready to see flying feet!
Colleen just gives a nod.	
				
EXTERIOR: HIDEOUT - ROOF
The Rotor Rover flies over the building and hovers, then is
slowly descends and lands next to the Air Rover. The engines
shut down and the rotors begin to slow down.
Mike
OW! Stop kicking us Colleen! OW!! THAT HURT! OW!!
INTERIOR: ROTOR ROVER - COCKPIT
Everyone unfastens their seat belts. Exile jumps to his
feet.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Let's go and get that intruder!
Crow
They followed him all the way their?
Hunter looks at Exile, Colleen turns to Hunter.

COLLEEN
(BLUNT)
To be quiet honest, I don't feel too comfortable just
leaving the Rotor Rover here. After all, it is our only
means of escape.
Tom
Hey! Let's leave Muzzle!
Hunter looks at Colleen.

BLITZ
(HONEST)
He bested all of us. He is very tricky. I have to agree with
Colleen.
Mike rubs his head
Mike
HE WAS LUCKY! NOT TRICKY!!!
Colleen and Hunter look back to Blitz.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Thanks... Fluffy.

Blitz sighs.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
You're right.

BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
I'm not Fluffy.
Crow
Yes you are
HUNTER
(ANNOYED)
No. About leaving the Rotor Rover unguarded.

EXILE
(CONFUSED)
But what can we do? We have to go after the intruder.

Hunter looks at Exile.

HUNTER
(SLY)
We will... We're just going to leave a little surprise
behind.

Hunter smiles, everyone else looks at him with confusion.

INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - CORRIDOR
This is a long hallway with many open doors. Two armed
guards are walking down it and talking to each other.

GUARD #1
(SURPRISED)
Did you see that guy down the hall?
Mike <redneck voice>
Sore ded Jeb.
GUARD #2
(INTERESTED)
You mean Dog Man?
Crow<redneck voice>
Yeeup
GUARD #1
(BLUNT)
Yeah. He looks like a Siberian Husky.
Mike <redneck voice>
NAW! he looked more like a Coon hound in my opion
GUARD #2
(INTERESTED)
I heard he's really an Alaskan Malamute.
Crow <redneck voice>
You sore 'bout that, Fred?
GUARD #1
(ANNOYED)
Whatever. And I thought I had the bad luck.
Mike<redneck voice>
Yeah, You got smashed by a pianer, got yo'r hand slammed
in a winder, yo'r toes ran over by ma truck, house burned
down, Wife left ya for some city slicker, and had a metal
plate put in yo'r noggin, but he still has it worse

The two guards chuckle and continue walking and talking,
they round a corner and disappear. After a few moments
Exile, Hunter, Colleen, Blitz and Shag pear out of an open
doorway. Colleen is holding some sort of Frisbee weapon,
Hunter has a pistol and Blitz has a cattle-prod weapon. They
all look down the hall in the direction the guards
disappeared, Exile looks kind of miffed.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Sounds like our boy is here.
Mike
Boy? you mean dog
EXILE
(ANNOYED)
How dare they confuse a Siberian Husky and an Alaskan
Malamute.
Crow
Exile, mister sensitive
HUNTER
(CALMING)
Easy Exile.

EXILE
(ANNOYED)
I mean, we're not even from the same part of the world.
Tom
2 hours later
Crow<imitating exile>
It makes me so mad that they confuse the 2!
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Let's remember why we're here.
Mike
To pants everyone right? 
Exile calms down but mumbles something to himself.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
Sounds like he's right down the hall.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Then let's go get him.

Hunter creeps out into the hall and heads in the opposite
direction the guards did, everyone else follows. Exile is
still mumbling to himself.

INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - HOLDING AREA
This is a small empty room with one way in and out. In the
corner is a locked holding cell which imprisons Bear. He is
sitting in the corner and looking all sad. The door opens
and the Road Rovers rush in, their weapons at the ready.
They quickly scout out the room, but when they see that only
Bear is here they lower their weapons. He jumps to his feet
and rushes up to the bars, the Road Rovers also walk up to
the bars and smile.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Well, well, well. What do we have here?
Mike
Somone behind bars
BEAR
(EXCITED)
Thank goodness you're here!

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
You have a falling out with Parvo?
Crow
I'll ask again, isn't that a cat disease?
BEAR
(CONFUSED)
Parvo? Look, you got to get me out of here.
Tom
They'll say "why?"
BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
Why? I like you where you are now.
Crow
Blitz this isn't the place or time ok?!
EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Da. That is where all traitors belong.
BEAR
(DESPERATE)
Look. I'm sorry for all the commotion I caused you. I really
am. But you don't know the whole story. I had no choice.
Mike
they took my beanie babies hostage!
COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
If I was locked behind bars I would be real sorry too.

BEAR
(ANNOYED)
Have you come here to gloat or get me out?
Tom
None of the above! We came to kill!
EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Can we have a third choice?
Crow
Yes, death
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Actually, we DID come to get you out. You know too much.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
I know too much? I don't know ANYTHING!

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
You know where our base is.

BEAR
(HONEST)
Oh. Well, you don't have to worry about that. I told them
nothing. I didn't even tell them about the conversion
process.

BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
Conversion process?
Crow
yes, when you change the cheese to poo
BEAR
(EXPLAINING)
You know. From canine to Road Rover.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
What do you know about Transdogmafing?
Mike
Um...no..not really
ROSS
(OVER LOUD SPEAKER)
That is a question I'd like to ask you, Road Rovers.

Everyone looks up to the ceiling.

COLLEEN
(BLUNT)
I smell a cat.
Mike
Lets chase it!
Exile looks at Bear.

EXILE
(ANNOYED)
An intruding cat.		
Crow
again, lets chase it!
ROSS
(OVER LOUD SPEAKER)
But you all look tired. You could use a nap.
Tom
We already had one, thanks
Gas begins to spray from the ceiling.

BLITZ
(EXCITED)
Gas!
Mike
WHOS BEEN EATING BEANS?!
HUNTER
(EXCITED)
Let's beat it Rovers!
Crow
MIKE TOM! COVER YOUR EYES!!!!
The Road Rovers turn and race for the door, but before they
can reach it a thick metal plate slides down and covers the
exit.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
It's a trap!

Everyone begins coughing and they cover their mouths.

BLITZ
(EXCITED, COUGHING)
There has to be another way out.

Hunter looks at Exile.

HUNTER
(EXCITED, COUGHING)
Exile! Use your vision.

Exile begins to look around the room, but his eyes are
watering and he can't focus them. This is happening to some
of the others too.

EXILE
(CONFUSED, COUGHING)
Everything is blurry. I can't focus.
Tom
he couldn't focus in the first place!
Everyone starts to become woozy, they have trouble standing.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED, COUGHING)
Then we'll have to blast our way out.
		
Hunter points his weapon towards the door, his arm shakes
badly.

HUNTER
(SLEEPY, COUGHING)
I feel dizzy. Like...
				
Hunter collapses to the floor.
Mike
And the champ goes down
COLLEEN
(EXCITED, COUGHING)
Huntie!

Exile and Shag then fall unconscious to the floor.

BLITZ
(SLEEPY, COUGHING)
Something tells me this isn't... Isn't...
Crow
Kansas...anymore...
Blitz collapses to the floor. Colleen turns towards the
cell, Bear is sitting on the floor but is still conscious.
She stagers over to the cell and falls to her knees. She
points at him through the bars.

COLLEEN
(SLEEPY, COUGHING)
This is all your fault.
Mike
YEAH!
Colleen collapses. Bear's eyes close.

BEAR
(SLEEPY, COUGHING)
I didn't mean it... I really didn't mean it...
Crow
I didn't know jalapino's gave me gas, i promise
Bear slips into unconsciousness, the entire room fills with
gas.
Tom
Someone ooughtta open a window ya know
INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - LAB
This is a large room with one entrance and is full of all
sorts of electronic testing devices, computers and other
stuff. In the center of the room is a large table with a
bunch of lasers on the ceiling are pointed down towards it.
Hunter is strapped to the table by metal restraints in a
spread eagle fashion, he is still unconscious. Bear is
laying on the floor near the table and is also unconscious.
Ross, Research, Beast, Doug and Bridgett are standing around
him. Ross is holding a thick folder of papers.

BEAST
(ANNOYED)
Wake up you good for nothing dog.

Beast gives Bear a swift kick in his side, he stirs.

ROSS
(STERN)
Beast! That is no way to treat one of your fellow coworkers.
Crow
YEAH! kick him in the crotch, it hurts more
Bear comes around, Ross holds out his hand to him.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Welcome back to the living, my friend. Please join us.
Mike
Jooin us on the DARK SIDE LUKE...er Steve
Bear hesitates, then cautiously takes Ross's hand. He gets
back on his feet. Bear looks around, he notices Hunter who
is also coming around.

BEAR
(CONCERNED)
What is going on?

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Patience, my friend. You'll soon know all.
Crow
He'll know why hotdogs and hot dog buns arent' packaged the same way
Hunter looks around the room, his eyes lock onto Bear. Ross
notices this.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Welcome back, Road Rover. Hunter I believe your name is.

Hunter tugs on his restraints, they do not yield.

HUNTER
(GROGGY)
You have me at a disadvantage.
Mike
He's on an operating table
Crow
Does that mean Alley's gonna remove his tonsils?
ROSS
(PLEASED)
The name is Ross Dole.
Mike
I'm Bob Dole's much younger brother
HUNTER
(CURIOUS)
You work for Parvo too?
Tom
Again with the cat disease reference
Doug, Bridgett, Ross, Research and Beast chuckle.

ROSS
(LAUGHING)
Parvo never had any affiliation with us.
Crow
WHO'S PARVO?!
The laughing dies off. Hunter looks over to Doug and
Bridgett.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Not according to those two.
Tom
They do work for him. we don't
ROSS
(PLEASED)
I must confess. That was a little ruse of mine. Designed to
throw you Road Rovers off my trail.
Mike
But why have a trail in the first place?
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Not much of a ruse was it.
ROSS
(HONEST)
True. You found me. But now that I've captured all of you I
need not have to worry about that for the time being.
Tom
But when they do a sequel, it'll come back to haunt me
HUNTER
(CONCERNED)
Speaking of which. Where are my friends?
Crow
What friends?
BEAST
(BLUNT)
I wouldn't worry about them. You have enough problems of
your own.
Mike
Poor deluted mutt, doesn't have any friends really.
HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
What is this all about?
Crow
Its about my chewed up slippers!
Ross puts his arm around Bear, this makes him uncomfortable.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
I knew it was only a matter of time before you Road Rovers
would catch up to my employees, so I had my good friend here
lay in wait until you struck. Then he would sneak aboard
your mode of transport, fly back to your secret base and
discover its location. Then, he would discover your
weaknesses.
Mike
Of course, he got transmografififo--oh forget it.
HUNTER
(ANNOYED)
Which he probably has blabbed to you.

ROSS
(DISAPPOINTED)
Actually, he has told us nothing.
Tom
Which means the movie's gona be longer!
HUNTER
(SURPRISED)
Really?
Crow
No, not really
BEAR
(BLUNT)
That is because I know nothing.
Mike
he honestly doesn't. ask him what 2+2 is.
Ross lets go of Bear.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Regardless, that doesn't matter anymore. I have the Road
Rovers and can discover their secrets on my own.

HUNTER
(CONCERNED)
You must be planning something big if you want us out of the
way.

ROSS
(PROUD)
Big hardly describes it.
Crow
I think stupid and ename describes it.
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
But something tells me you're going to describe it to me.
Mike
Of course, what kind of villan would i be if i didn't?
ROSS
(SMUG)
What kind of villain would I be if I didn't explain my
master plan?
Mike
I JUST SAID THAT!!!!
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
A likable one.

ROSS
(PROUD)
You see, I collect secrets. Some are big and some are small.
Some are well hidden and some are out in the open. Everyone
has a secret.

Ross indicates to Bear.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
My dog friend here is a prime example. He's not a crook. But
all his life he has seen people in need, people who have
been wronged. But instead of trying to help them or go to
the authorities, he has always turned his head. Pretending
he never saw it. But his biggest sin was when he allowed the
dumping of nuclear waste on the sacred lands of his people.

Bear looks very uncomfortable.
Crow
Doesn't he mean "his doggle"? wait..no.that makes no sense
ROSS
(PLEASED)
It is secrets like this no one wants to surface. But when
you know someone's secrets you can manipulate them to your
every needs. Which is how I control all my employees.
Tom
Plus it saves a bundel on pay checks
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
In other words you blackmail them into doing your dirty
work.
Crow
Blackmail is such a harsh word. i like to think of it as greenmail.
ROSS
(OFFENDED)
Oh. Blackmail is such a nasty word.
Crow
I JUST SAID THAT!!!!
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
How about steal?
Crow<immitating hunter>
Gotta remember to find the master's eyes....
Ross puts his hands up in the air and makes peace signs with
them, he hunches over slightly and shakes his head.

ROSS
(DOING NIXON IMPRESSION)
I am not a crook.
Tom
YOUR MOVIE SUCKS A BIG'UN STEVE!!!!
Hunter rolls his eyes. Ross straightens back up.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
I barter. For every task a person performs for me I give
them the hard evidence of one of their secrets back.

HUNTER
(UNDERSTANDING)
So that was why your two thriven friends were looking for
that folder we found in the warehouse.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Yes. But it goes beyond that. I haven't been collecting
secrets from just anyone.
Tom
her's an idea. lets do something else!!!
Mike and the bots get up adn leave the theater.
<show closing door sequence>
>show revolving planet with MST3K logo on it>
Mike and Crow walk int oteh camera's view, we also see a
transdogmafier beside them.
Tom
Hey guys! look what i built!
Crow
Its a transdogamafifefofu...ONE OF THOSE GIZMOS FROM THE MOVIE!
Tom
yup, watch this!
Tom steps into the machine smoke, fills teh room, when it clears,
Tom has dog ears and a dog nose.
Tom
Rid Rit Rork?
Mike
MY GOD! you changed yourself into a dog!
Tom
RUP! Rure Rid Relson!
Crow
Mike, he needs to go to the bet to be fixed, you know.
Tom
RIPE!
Mike
love to crow, but...
Alarms begin blaring
Mike
WE GOT MOVIE SIGN!!!!
<Show opening door sequence>
Mike and Crow sit down, Tom hops into Mike's lap then into his seat.
Crow
HEEL TOM!
Ross reaches up and pulls down a line chart with a jagged
line that goes from low to high.
Mike
These are our ratings from last week to now.
ROSS
(DOING ROSS PEROTT IMPERSONATION)
What we got here is a bunch of numbers.
Crow
How many is a bunch?
Ross points a the lowest part of the line on the chart.
Mike<immitating Ross Perot>
This line her represents my campaign ratings.
ROSS
(PLEASED)
Here we have key executives...
Tom
Rike, Ricky Rouse, Rom Ruegger, rand Reff Rordon.
Ross points to the middle part of the chart line.
Mike<immitating perot again>
This here is Dole's and Clinton's campaign ratings.
ROSS
(PLEASED)
Here we have powerful politicians...
Crow
Like Hillary Rodam Clinton
Ross points at the top of the line.
Mike<immitating perot a thrid time>
And THIS, is how much money I have. Any Questions?
ROSS
(PLEASED)
And up here we have the president.
Crow
Socks the Cat?
HUNTER
(EXCITED)
You're going to black mail the president!

ROSS
(OFFENDED)
Of course not. No one can do that... But I'm going to do the
next best thing. I'm going to become the next president.
Crow
If Clinton can be reelected, this guys a shoe in.
HUNTER
(EXCITED)
What!

ROSS
(PLEASED)
On this chart there are five industrial mongrels, ten
governors and thirteen senators. When someone runs for
office they are lucky to get the endorsement of one of two
of these. I've got them all.
Mike
And a Partridge family in a crack tree
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Because you have dirt on them.
Tom
Ro, Rurt Runder Rem.
ROSS
(PROUD)
Exactly. With all those endorsements I'm a shoe in for
president in the next election.
Mike
Didn't we just say that?
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
I'm pretty close to the current president, the job is not
that cracked up to be. You have to deal with world peace,
nuclear weapons and the Republicans.
Tom
Ruclear Reapons Rand Republicans, Ra Readly Rombination!
ROSS
(PLEASED)
I could care less about those things. The only reason why I
want to be president is so I will have access to federal
organizations like the FBI, CIA and the Secret Service. They
are the ones who know the really big secrets.
Crow
this guys obsessed with secrets!
HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
Why would you want to know those?

ROSS
(EXCITED)
To fulfill every villains dream. To take over the world!

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
You wouldn't happen to be a fan of Pinky and the Brain?
Mike<immitating Pinky>
NARF! ZORT! POINT! EGAD! 
Crow<immitating Brain>
QUIET PINKY BEFORE I HURT YOU!!
ROSS
(HONEST)
No. But I do know some of their secrets.

HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
But what does this have to do with me strapped to this
table?
Tom
Ri Ran't Rink Rof RA ROKE!
Mike pats Tom on the head and Tom's dog ears pop off.
Mike
HEY! They're taped on!
Tom
RUT?! I mean, what?!
Mike takes all the canine stuff off Tom.
Mike
Tom, you scare me sometimes.
ROSS
(PLEASED)
It has to do with a lot of science stuff, so I'll have the
expert explain it all.
Crow
Me? ok, bla bla bla bla bla, fruit cup!
RESEARCH
(PLEASED)
As explained before, we need to find out your weaknesses if
our plans are to succeed.

HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
But if you've captured us all. How can we be a threat to
you?

RESEARCH
(BLUNT)
You can't. But when you don't return your boss can put more
canines through the Road Rover conversion process and send
them after us. But if were are able to find a way to nullify
this process, we will not have anything to worry about. That
is why you are strapped to the world's largest anatomy
analyzer.

HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
Anatomy Analyzer? What does it do?
Tom
It slices, dices, and cuts through butter!
RESEARCH
(SMUG)
I could give you all the fact a figures, but I doubt your
tiny canine brain could comprehend it. In a nutshell, it
will dissect you.
Crow
The you'll be some 7th grader's research project.
HUNTER
(EXCITED)
What!

RESEARCH
(BLUNT)
Once you are all cut up in tiny little pieces we can take a
look inside and see what makes you tick. Any questions?

ROSS
(DOING GEORGE BUSH IMPERSONATION)
No. Won't be prudent. Won't be prudent.

HUNTER
(FRUSTRATED)
Could we please knock of the presidential impersonation?
You're not very good at them.
Tom
LISTEN TO THE MUTT!
ROSS
(BLUNT)
Yes. The time of kidding around has passed. It is time to
get back to business.

Ross looks over Research and nods.

RESEARCH
(PLEASED)
Of course, sir.

Research walks over to the controls of the table. She begins
to push buttons, flip switches and turn knobs.
Mike
I forgot which one operates this!
RESEARCH
(BLUNT)
Before the analyzer does any cutting, it will scan the
subject to figure the best plan of dissection. This will
take about fifteen minutes.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
That's fine. I'm in no rush.

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
Either am I!

BEAST
(BLUNT)
What about the Dog Man?

Ross looks at Bear.

ROSS
(BLUNT)
His services are no longer needed.
Tom
let's take another nap!
Beast smashes her fist into her open palm.

BEAST
(PLEASED)
You mean I get to have some fun for a change?
Mike
Please...don't talk about that stuff when i'm around
BEAR
(EXCITED)
You're going to dissect me too!
Crow
Yup, you'll be an 8th grade project.
ROSS
(OFFENDED)
No. Of course not. You've done your part, so I'm going to
give you something in return.
Tom
A squeeky bananna!
Crow<impersonating colleen>
I LOVE SQUEEKY BANANNAS!
Ross hands Bear the file he is holding, he carefully takes
it from him. He examines it and his eyes spring wide open.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
This is my file of secrets you had one me!

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Of course, I'm not all villain you know. Thanks to you I'll
dispose of the Road Rovers once and for all.

Bear doesn't look too proud. Ross looks at Beast.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
Please escort Mister Today here off the premises. Our work
with him is at an end.
Crow
Um, Steve? better haul tail out of their pal.
BEAST
(DISAPPOINTED)
You mean I'm not suppose to arrange for him to have an
accident?
Mike
In his pants?
ROSS
(STERN)
Nothing is to happen to him or I'll hold you personally
responsible. Understand?

Beast hesitates, then nods. She looks at Bear.

BEAST
(ANNOYED)
Come on Fur Ball, let's go.
Crow
yet another cat reference!
HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
You like Tiny Toons too?
Tom
Wer'e tiny, we're tooney, we're all little thiefie goonies!
Reluctantly, Bear turns and begins to follow Beast out of
the room. Hunter watches him go.

INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - CORRIDOR
Beast leads Bear down an empty corridor. Beast is upbeat and
is whistling the theme to Taz-Mania. Bear is down and
tightly clutching his file, he is deep in thought.
Mike
he put hte taz in taz-mania, down in taz-mania, we MEAN YOU!

BEAR
(CAUTIOUS)
So... What happened to them?
Crow
We made them watch WayneHead
Tom
The Horror!
Beast stops whistling, she looks at Bear confused.

BEAR
(CAUTIOUS)
You know. The other Road Rovers.
Mike
The stars of the lame movie we're in
Beast looks forward again.

BEAST
(CAUTIOUS)
Oh. They are all on ice.
Crow
So they're now figure skaters?
Bear stops in his tracks, horror fills his face. Beast
notices this and stops too, she looks at Bear.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
You killed them!
All
YAY!!!!
Beast chuckles.

BEAST
(LAUGHING)
No. They are frozen in Cryo-Animation. The Boss wanted it
that why so if we have to dissects anymore we can just thaw
them out.
Crow
So if he screws up one and blames it on you, he can get another.
Bear is relieved. Beast stops laughing.

BEAST
(BLUNT)
Speaking of which. I'd better go check on them.

Beast points down the hall.
BEAST
(BLUNT)
You know your way out. Use it. Understand?
Mike
no
Bear quickly nods.

BEAST
(STERN)
And if I find you roaming these halls I'll be doing some
dissection... On you!
Crow
Mike, does she have to talk about her hobbies like that?
Beast turns and walks back the way she came, she begins to
whistle the Taz-Mania theme again. Bear watches her go.
After she's gone, Bear turns and slowly begins to walk
towards the next. He slips back into thought.

BEAR
(DISAPPOINTED)
Well Steve. You're dog now. Nice going... But I guess things
could be worse. You have your secrets back and you're free
and won't have to worry about the Boss anymore. You're much
better off than the Road Rovers.
Tom
Who's he talking to?
Bear stops.

BEAR
(BLUNT)
Of course, it is all your fault they are in the hands of the
Boss.
Crow
so? leave! then the movie ends
Bear starts walking again.

BEAR
(DEFIANT)
No. I can't think like that. It's their fault. I didn't ask
them to follow me. They are here of their own free will.
Mike
Yeah...thats it..thats what i'll tell the press
Bear stops again.

BEAR
(BLUNT)
Of course, I didn't give them much choice by breaking in to
their headquarters and stealing their jet.
Tom
Oh great, his concious is keeping the movie going!
Bear starts moving again.

BEAR
(DEFIANT)
But I can't worry about that. I have my own problems. I'll
just forget about the Road Rovers once and for all.
Crow
COME ON! BE EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!
Bear quickens his pace and rushes around a corner and
disappears. After a few seconds, Bear reappears.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
But I can't forget about them. I have this new strange
feeling inside of me that won't allow me. But what has
changed in me?
Mike
Oh great, the loyalty has kicked in
Bear looks himself over.

BEAR
(SARCASTIC)
Hmmm. Fur, claws, whiskers... But what is it about dogs that
won't let me leave?
Crow
here it comes.
Bear's face brightens.

BEAR
(REALIZING)
Loyalty. Of course. Dogs stick together. When one is in
trouble they help each other out.
Mike
see guys, I'm psychic!
Crow
Either that or psycho...
The brightness fades away.

BEAR
(DISAPPOINTED)
But I'm no hero. A matter of fact, I'm all new to this dog
thing. What can I do?
Mike
How about wizzing on their legs?
A smile comes across Bear's face.

BEAR
(PLEASED)
Well. For starters. I can stop looking away. Pretending
everything is okay. I have to stop hiding behind lies and
lend a hand. I have to take action... But what?
Crow
So begins, the part we like to call, "DAMN YOU STEVEN TODAY!!!!"
Bear thinks for a moment.

BEAR
(THINKING)
Well. I can't help Hunter, they outnumber me in there... But
if I could find the other Road Rover perhaps I could help
them.
Mike
Please let this horror end....
Bear sighs.

BEAR
(FRUSTRATED)
This is ridiculous! I don't even have a clue where they are
being held. This is a huge building. It would take me
forever to find them on my own. It is hopeless.
Tom
Watch his canine senses kick in...
Suddenly, Bear's ears perk up. We hear the whistling of
Beast.

BEAR
(PLEASED)
Of course. I'm a dog. I have excellent senses. I'll follow
Beast to the Road Rovers.
Tom
Geez Steve, your movie is so predictable!
Bear quickly stuffs his file inside his clothes and races
down the hall following the whistling.

INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - CRYO ROOM
This is a large room that serves as a storage room, crates
and barrels are scattered all over the place. In the center
of the room are four large glass cylinders which Colleen,
Shag, Exile and Blitz are standing in each of them. They are
in a state of frozen animation and completely motionless. In
the area are two guards. Beast is here, whistling and
looking over the cylinders. She is pleased at what she sees.
Bear appears in the back of the room, peering over a crate.
He looks around and spots the Road Rovers.

BEAR
(WHISPERS)
There they are... And just like Beast said. Frozen.
Mike
WELL DUH!
Bear looks around, he notices a control panel is wired into
all of the cylinders.

BEAR
(WHISPERS)
That panel must control the freezing process. If I can get
to it I might be able to defrost them... But the question is
how can I do that without being seen?

Beast looks at the guards, they notice this.

GUARD #3
(CAUTIOUS)
I hope everything is to your satisfaction?

Beast nods.

BEAST
(PLEASED)
Yes. It is.

The guards sigh with relief, Beast loses her smile.

BEAST
(BLUNT)
Just make sure it stays that way.
Mike
Can we move along please?
The guards are shaken. Beast turns towards the exit, as she
does she spots Bear. She points at him.

BEAST
(EXCITED)
You! What are you doing here?
Crow
Uh....would you believe, taking a whiz?
Bear is taken aback. The guards look to where she is
pointing.

BEAST
(ANNOYED)
I warned you.

Beast looks at the guards.

BEAST
(DEMANDING)
Get him!

BEAR
(SHOCKED)
Uh oh..

The guards rush towards Bear, he thinks desperately. A guard
runs around one side of the crate and the other runs around
the other side.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
Here goes nothing!

They grab for him, but Bear leaps onto the create and jumps
onto the other side.
Crow
Shouldn't have had those extra buritos!
He makes a beeline for the Cryo
controls. Beast notices this, she places herself in his
direct path. The guards begin to chase him.
Mike
Come back with our slippers!
As Bear approaches her he tries to dodge around her, but she
is too quick. She strikes him on the side of the face.
All
KER-POW!
Bear is thrown to one side, he staggers towards the cylinders.
He runs smack dab into Colleen's and shatters it.
Tom
CRAAASH!
He crashes into Colleen and they both fall to the floor, with
he on top of her. She comes out of Cryo-Animation. She look
up to him and smiles, he looks down and smiles.

COLLEEN
(GROGGY)
Look. I know I indicated you were handsome...

Colleen loses her smile.

COLLEEN
(COLD)
But that was before I found out you worked for the enemy!

Colleen gives a battle cry. In one motion she flips Bear off
of her, rolls over and jumps to her feet. He crashes against
the wall (back to it and upside down)
Tom
WHOP!
Crow
Ok Tom, the joke's got old.
The guards stop in their tracks and point at Bear, they look
at Beast.

GUARD #3
(EXCITED)
Did you see that! He freed her!

BEAST
(ANNOYED)
Yes! He's a traitor! Get them both!

Colleen looks over to Bear.

COLLEEN
(EMBARRASSED)
Sorry. I didn't know you were on our side.

BEAR
(IN PAIN)
No problem. I didn't need the use of my spinal column
anyway.
Crow<immitating Colleen>
Now there's your comedy
Tom
Not very good comedy, but still.....
Bear slides off the wall and falls to the floor. The guards
rush towards Colleen, she turns back towards them. She takes
a defensive stance. The first guard reaches her and tries to
grab her, but she gives him a karate kick to his chest and
he goes flying into the wall. He collapses into
unconsciousness. The other guard reaches Colleen and she
does the same to him. With both guards out to commission,
she sighs with relief.

BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
So. You want to play?
Crow
Hope she remembers Colleen's not paper trained...
Colleen looks at Beast who has approach her. Colleen looks
over her giant hulking body, any cockiness she had has left
her. She gives a battle cry and begins to strike and kick
Beast, but the attack has little affect. Beast strikes
Colleen with a backhand swing and sends her flying across
the room, she lands next to Bear. She turns to him and
shakes him.

COLLEEN
(URGENT)
You think you could lend me a hand here?
Mike
Would a paw surfice?
Bear pulls himself up to a sitting position and looks at
Beast who is slowly walking towards them, he doesn't like
what he sees.

BEAR
(IN PAIN)
I'd love to help. But I'm a lover not a fighter.
Crow
Isn't that blitz's line?
COLLEEN
(ANNOYED)
Michael Jackson would be proud. So then how about seeing if
you can't free my friends.

BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
Yes. The more the merrier.

Bear nods. Both he and Colleen get to their feet and face
Beast. Colleen gives another battle cry and rushes toward
her, Bear runs towards the cylinders. Colleen leaps into the
air and tries to drop kick her, but Beast steps to one side.
Colleen flies past her and crashes to the floor, she is
shaken up. Beast laughs and Colleen looks towards her, the
Rover jumps to her feet and prepares to attack again. Beast
stops laughing and slowly moves towards her. Meanwhile, Bear
is heading right for the cylinder that holds Shag.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
This time I'm going for size!
Crow
He's going for Shag....
Tom
he thinks Shag's brave? THIS GUY IS NUTS!
Bear covers his faces and crashes through the cylinder and
then into Shag. They both tumble to the ground, Shag comes
out of Cryo-Animation. He notices Bear and quickly jumps to
his feet, he grabs him and prepares to punch him.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
No! Not again!
Tom
Take him out shagster!
Shag mumbles something and hits Bear in the face, he goes
flying. Just as Colleen and Beast are about to square it off
again, Bear flies between them and crashes into the wall.
Colleen looks over to him then looks over to Shag.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
No Shag! He's on our side now!
Tom<immitating Shag>
ROW ROU RELL RE!
Shag looks at Bear and mumbles and apology.

BEAR
(IN PAIN)
Don't worry about it. I was growing tired of having feeling
in my face.

Bear falls to the floor and moans with pain. While Colleen
is distracted Beast decks her, she flies and lands next to
Bear. Beast laughs. He looks over to Colleen

BEAR
(PROUD)
Okay. I got you your help.

Shag notices Beast for the first time, he is overcome with
fear. He races into a corner and huddles, Colleen and Bear
notice this. This makes Beast laugh louder.

COLLEEN
(IN PAIN)
Shag has many talents but bravery is not one of them.
Crow
NOW SHE TELLS HIM!
BEAR
(FRUSTRATED)
That means I have to free another one of your friends.
Doesn't it?
Mike
Yeeup, sure do
COLLEEN
(IN PAIN)
Or you could take my place in holding that monster off.

Bear crawls to his feet. Beast stops laughing.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
I'll go free another one!
Tom
He just wants to watch them fight
As Bear races back for the cylinders, Beast walks up the
Colleen. She tries to get to her feet but Beast bends down,
grabs her by the neck and lifts her off of her feet.

BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
As they say. All good things must come to an end.

Beast squeezes Colleen's neck and she begins to choke. The
Rover fights desperately to break Beast's death grip but she
is just too strong.

BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
Actually, it would have been a lot fun if your martial arts
were any good.
Crow
Wuh oh, beast just messed up big time....
Colleen stops struggling, her eyes turn red with anger. She
gives a deafening battle cry and with one blow, breaks the
Beast's hold. The Rover lands on her feet, Beast looks at
her with astonishment. Colleen attacks with ferocity in a
series of kicks and hand blows that continue to force the
Beast back.
Mike
BUSTER! BABS! PLUCKY! DIZZY! FURRBALL! DOOOOOODO!
She tries to defend herself but the Rover is
just to much for her. Finally, Colleen drop kicks her and
she goes sailing. Beast lands with a loud thud near the
exit. She looks up to the Rover with awe, Colleen point an
angry finger at her.

COLLEEN
(INFURIATED)
Never! Ever! Criticize my fighting skills!

Beast, in total horror, quickly nods and jumps to her feet.
She madly dashes out of the room screaming. Colleen places
the palms of her hands together and closes her eyes, as if
meditating. She calms herself down. Meanwhile, Bear is
oblivious to all of this. He rushes the cylinder containing
Exile, shattering it completely. Once again, Bear collides
with the Rover inside. They both fall to the floor, like the
others Exile comes out of Cryo-Animation. He sits up and so
does Bear. He smiles at Exile but the smile isn't returned,
in fact the Rover's eyes burn red.

EXILE
(ANGRY)
You traitor!

Bear loses his smile.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
Oh no! Look! I can explain everything!
All
ROAST HIM EXILE!
Bear jumps to his feet and runs toward Colleen. Heat beams
fire from Exile's eyes, they hit him right in the butt.
Tom
Roasted butt nuggets anyone?
Bear
screams in pain, Colleen opens her eyes and looks at him. He
is yiping as he scoots around on the ground on his butt, she
looks to Exile.

COLLEEN
(EMBARRASSED)
No Exile. He's not a traitor after all.

Exile looks at Bear.

EXILE
(EMBARRASSED)
Sorry.

BEAR
(IN PAIN)
It's okay. I never liked using chairs.

At that moment, Beast rushes back into the room. She is
holding a large machine gun.

BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
I'm back!
Crow
and still as ugly...
Exile and Colleen turn towards Beast, Bears stops scooting
around and looks at her. She points the machine gun at
Colleen.

BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
Please allow me to apologize for all those nasty remarks
about your martial skills... You stink!

Anger begins to grip Colleen again, but there is little she
can do. Beast takes aim on Colleen and begins to squeeze the
trigger. Heat beams fire from Exile's eyes, they hit the
machine gun and instantly make it red hot. Beast screams
with pain and is forced to drop the weapon, she desperately
blows on her hands. Colleen chuckles.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Didn't your mother ever tell you you should never play with
fully automatic weapons?
Crow
Actually my mom told me to play with them all the timen stops laughing and turns over to Exile.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Sorry Exile, but we've already done that joke.

Exile snaps his fingers.

EXILE
(DISAPPOINTED)
I'm going to have to study the program more closely from now
on.
Tom
MAN THIS SUCKS! LETS LEAVE!!
Mike and the bots get up and leave the theater.
<fade out>
<show revolving planet with logo on it>
<Fade in>
Mike
i wonder how Pearl and Steve are getting along?
<switch to pearl's ship>
Steve
Ok, lets see here, If we send them about 4 more of my movies,
they will go insane..
Pearl
Oooo....
<switch back to Mike and the Bots>
Mike
MY GOD! THEY'RE DISCUSSING OUR FATES!
Crow
They always are Mike...
Mike
Oh yeah.....
<alarms begin blaring>
Mike
Movie Sign!
<show opening door sequence>
<Tom is already in the theater.Mike and Crow sit back down.>
Tom
Please don't leave me alone again...
Colleen looks back to Beast who has recovered from her
burns.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Now are we going to go at it again or are we going to save
time and cut right to the part where you run out of the room
screaming.
Crow
How about c, all the above?
BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
No. Let's try something different.

Beast places here two index fingers in her mouth and
whistles loudly, a dozen guards rush into the room behind
her. She removes her fingers from her mouth and smiles.
Exile and Colleen frown, Bear jumps to his feet.

BEAST
(SARCASTIC)
With a little help from my friends.

COLLEEN
(FRUSTRATED)
Now this is getting just plain ridiculous.
Crow
This is the part of the movie were we go and bash steven's head in....
Colleen turns and looks at Bear.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Guess what.

BEAR
(FRUSTRATED)
Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Bear races towards the last remaining cylinder. Colleen and
Exile join up and prepare for battle, Beast and the guards
slowly move towards them. Bear shatters the cylinder and
frees Blitz, they both fall to the ground. Blitz comes out
of Cryo-Animation and jumps to his feet, he looks down at
Bear. Fear overcomes him. Bear quickly grabs one of Blitz's
legs and begins to cry.

BEAR
(TERRIFIED)
Please! Don't hurt me! I'm not a traitor! I'm on your side!
Tom
WUSS!
Blitz looks down to Bear with pity.

BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
And Exile thought I was a weird boy.
Colleen glances over to Blitz.

COLLEEN
(BLUNT)
Oh Fluffy. You think you could come over here for a moment.

Blitz looks over to Colleen, Exile and the approaching
guards. He looks back down to Bear.

BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
You think I could have my leg back?
Tom
I don't want to know what he was doing with it.
Bear carefully looks up to Blitz with total fear.

BEAR
(TERRIFIED)
You mean your not going to hurt me?

BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
Not unless you continue to hold my leg.
Crow
Sure he's just holding it?
Bear quickly lets go and cowers below Blitz. The Rover
sighs, shakes his head and races over to the others. They
are face to face with the guards.

GUARD #4
(SARCASTIC)
Three against a dozen. This won't take long.

Blitz extends his super sharp claws and teeth, all the
guard's mouths drop open.

BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
You're right. It won't.
Mike<evil scientist voice>
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Beast points at the Rovers.

BEAST
(EXCITED)
Get them!

All the guards turn and give Beast a drop dead look.

GUARD #4
(TERRIFIED)
You've got to be kidding!

All the guards scream and race out the door, Beast turns
towards the exit.

BEAST
(EXCITED)
Come back here you cowards!

No one returns.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Okay, it's your turn again.

Beast quickly turns back towards the Rovers. Fear fills her
face but that is quickly replace by anger, she point a
finger at them.

BEAST
(ANGRY)
This isn't over Road Rovers!

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Boo.
Tom
HAPPY HALOWEEN!
Beast yells with terror and jumps, she turns and rushes out
the door. The Rovers high five one another, Bear and Shag
join them.

BEAR
(PLEASED)
Well, I'm glad that is over with.

Colleen looks at Bear.

COLLEEN
(BLUNT)
But it's not. We're short a Rover.

BEAR
(NERVOUS)
Well. Since you won't be needing me anymore I'll be on my
way.
Crow
HEEL STEVE!
Bear quickly turns for the door, but Exile grabs him by the
clothes and pulls him towards him. Bear is face to face with
the Rover, he doesn't like this.

EXILE
(BLUNT)
You know where Hunter is. Don't you?
Mike<immitating bear>
Is my ass on the line?
Tom<immitating colleen>
Yes
Mike<immitating bear>
then yes, yes i do.
BEAR
(FEARFUL)
Hunter? Hunter? You mean like Elmer Fudd in all those Bugs
Bunny cartoons?

Exile laughs like Elmer Fudd.
EXILE
(TALKING LIKE ELMER FUDD)
You take us to Hunter or we'll be hunting wscaly Alaskan
Malamutes.
Tom
So far, the only good impretion...
Colleen and Blitz gets in Bear's face.

COLLEEN AND BLITZ
(BLUNT)
Yeah.

Exile, Colleen and Blitz stare at Bear coldly.

EXTERIOR: HIDEOUT - ROOF
It is like it was before. The fleeing dozen guards rush onto
the roof and stop between the two Rover vehicles. One of
them points at the Air Rover.

GUARD #5
(EXCITED)
Come on! We can escape in this jet!
Mike
I'm gettign a prediction guys!
Crow&Tom
Now what?
Mike
I predict a sensless act of violence approaching...
GUARD #6
(EXCITED)
Are you crazy? Don't you remember the Boss's orders? The jet
is off limits! He wants Research to examine it!

The first guard points to the Rotor Rover.

GUARD #5
(EXCITED)
Well! What about the helicopter? Nothing was ever mentioned
about that!

GUARD #6
(EXCITED)
Yeah! That should be okay!

GUARD #7
(EXCITED)
I don't care which one we take as long as we can escape
those Road Rovers!

The guard rushes into the helicopter, pushing and shoving.

INTERIOR: ROTOR ROVER - BACK AREA
This is a large open area. To one side is the door, towards
the front is the entrance to the cockpit. The guards pile in
and slam the door shut, they quickly glance around.

GUARD #5
(URGENT)
We need to find the cockpit!

GUARD #6
(CONFUSED)
Does anyone know how to fly a helicopter?

GUARD #7
(CONFUSED)
Or what that is?

The guard points at Muzzle's handcart, everyone looks at it
with confusion. All the restraints are undone and the
straitjacket is laying on the floor. A loud growl comes from
behind them, they slowly turn around and to see Muzzle. He
is free of any restraints and is snarling at him, he blocks
the exit. Terror comes over all the guards.
All
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
GUARD #5
(TERRIFIED)
Something tells me we would have been better off facing the
Road Rovers!

Muzzle leaps towards the guards and they all scream.

EXTERIOR: HIDEOUT - ROOF
The Rotor Rover shake violently as screams and the sounds of
fighting filter from the craft. Several times the door is
open by a guard who tries to flee, but every time Muzzle
grabs them and pulls them back in. Guards also appear in the
cockpit, but so does Muzzle who pulls them out of sight.
Crow
Wow Mike, your prediction was right
INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - LAB
It is as it was before, except Beast is here and frantically
babbling to Ross. Research is still working the controls to
the table.

ROSS
(EXCITED)
What do you mean they have escaped? It is your job to make
sure things like this don't happen!
Mike<immitating Beast>
SIR! they were doing something to this one dog's leg. i had to escape!
Ross stares coldly at Beast who cowers underneath the glaze.

ROSS
(ANGRY)
Perhaps you would do a better job if you were properly
motivated!

BEAST
(CONFUSED)
What do you mean?

ROSS
(BLUNT)
Maybe I should take one of the secrets out of your file and
share it with the rest.

BEAST
(TERRIFIED)
No! Please! That won't be necessary! I'll recapture them!

Ross points his finger at Beast.

ROSS
(ANNOYED)
You'd better.
Crow
her big secret is that she's actually a cat..
He lowers his hand.

ROSS
(STERN)
Now go and gather some guards and find the Road Rovers!

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC, OFF SCREEN)
Let us save you the trouble.

Everyone turns towards the door Exile, Colleen, Shag, Blitz
and Bear are standing there. Hunter smiles.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
And the Calvery arrives.

ROSS
(CONFUSED)
How can this be?
Tom
So help me, if we go to a flashback....
Bear slowly and slyly raises his hand.

BEAR
(MEEK)
Err... Um... I guess I'll have to take credit for that.

Ross gazes angrily at Bear.

ROSS
(DISAPPOINTED)
What ever happened to loyalty?

COLLEEN
(BLUNT)
Now you will be so kind as to release our friend.

Ross is speechless. Bridgett rushes up to the Rovers, Doug
follows.

BRIDGETT
(DEFIANT)
Don't worry Boss! We can take care of them!
All
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOW THE MOVIES ANOTHER 233456883 HOURS LONG!!!!
BLITZ
(SARCASTIC)
And how do you expect to take on all of us?

Bridgett reaches inside her coat and flips on her Deflector
Shield, Doug follows suit. She reaches out and touches
Colleen, shocking her. The Rover leaps back.

COLLEEN
(IN PAIN)
I'm having a painful feeling of recurrence dejavu.

One of the lasers fire from the ceiling above the table, a
steady beam fires between Hunter's feet. Research examines
the controls. Everyone looks towards the table.

RESEARCH
(BLUNT)
The Anatomy Analyzer has begun the calibration process.

Research looks at Ross and smiles.

RESEARCH
(PLEASED)
It won't be long now, sir.

The beam slowly begins to move towards Hunter's groin, he
looks over to the Rovers.
Tom
Here comes another Pavarotti!
HUNTER
(CONCERNED)
Uh. Guys.
Crow<immitating hunter>
The family jewels are in danger here guys!
Colleen looks at the Rest of the Rovers.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Fluffy and I will hold of the ones with the electrified
personalities! The rest go and save Huntie!

Blitz and Colleen face Doug and Bridgett and prepare for
battle, the rest rush towards the table. Ross sees this and
points to them.

ROSS
(EXCITED)
Stop them!
Mike
Lets see, thats about the gajillionth time thats been said in this movie
Beast hesitates then leaps forward, blocking their path. The
Rovers come to a halt, Exile looks at the others.

EXILE
(EXCITED)
You two go and save Hunter, I'll hold off the tub of lard!

Exile and Beast turn to face one another, Research notices
this. She rushes to the table and intercepts Shag and Bear.

RESEARCH
(EXCITED)
Hold it right there! Don't you dare move!

Bear and Shag look at each other and laugh, they look back
at Research.

BEAR
(LAUGHING)
Or you'll do what?

Research reaches into her lab coat and pulls out a syringe,
both Shag and Bear stop laughing when they see it.

RESEARCH
(BLUNT)
Of I'll give you a shot.
Tom
oooo....i'm so not scared...
Shag and Bear grab each other and hug one another, they
shiver with fear.
Crow
Aww shag, i didn't know you cared
BEAR
(TERRIFIED)
You afraid of needles too?

Shag nods. They cower in front of Research. While back with
Colleen and Blitz, they are trying to fend off the pokes and
prods of Doug and Bridgett. But like before, they are unable
to penetrate the Deflector Shields. The criminals continue
to give them electronic shocks. Meanwhile with Exile and
Beast circle each other like two wrestlers, looking for an
opening. Exile lunges forward but Beast grabs him, twists
him around and places a powerful bear hug on him. Exile
moans in pain, Beast laughs madly. He drives his feet onto
her knees, knocking her legs from beneath her. As she
tumbles to the ground she releases Exile, he rolls to the
side. They both jump to their feet and prepare to face off
again.

BEAST
(BLUNT)
By the Boss' request, I have studied you Road Rovers. You
are the one they call Exile.
Crow<immitating Exile>
DAT'S ME!
EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
I know.

BEAST
(IMPRESSED)
You have the most versatile powers of all the Road Rovers.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Allow me to demonstrate.

Exile's eyes glow blue and cold beams fire towards Beast. As
they do, she quickly slips down one of her sleeves to reveal
a small mirror strapped to her forearm. She holds it in
front of her. The beams hit the mirror and reflect back,
they hit Exile square in the chest. Ice instantly forms
around him, he is frozen in a large block of ice from his
neck to the floor. He struggles helplessly and she laughs at
him.

BEAST
(LAUGHING)
I have done my homework.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
I hope the Super Heroes union doesn't hear of this.
Mike
TO LATE! They already know
Exile continues to struggle vainly as Beast continues to
laugh. Meanwhile back with Colleen and company, Doug touches
Blitz and shocks him. The Rover cries with pain and falls to
his knees.

BLITZ
(IN PAIN)
I can't go on.

COLLEEN
(SYMPATHETIC)
I know the feeling.

Bridgett shocks Colleen and she falls to the floor.

COLLEEN
(IN PAIN)
I REALLY know the feeling.

Doug and Bridgett look down at the Rovers.

BRIDGETT
(SARCASTIC)
You're done already?

DOUG
(DISAPPOINTED)
But I was just starting to have fun.

Doug and Bridgett burst out laughing, Colleen and Blitz sigh
with defeat. While back at the table, the laser is very
close to Hunter's groin. Ross steps up to the table and
looks around the room, then looks down to Hunter.
Mike<immitating Hunter>
Um guys, i could use some help here!!!!!
ROSS
(SARCASTIC)
Your friends aren't doing too well.

HUNTER
(DOING JAMES BOND IMPERSONATION)
What do you expect me to do? Talk.
Crow
Shaken, not stirred
ROSS
(BLUNT)
No. I expect you to die.

Ross looks down at Hunter's groin.

ROSS
(SARCASTIC)
That and become a soprano.
Tom
ooo, i didn't know dogs could sing
Ross chuckles, Hunter looks sadly between his legs.
Crow
Good bye ol'pals
While back with Exile, Beast is still laughing at him.

EXILE
(ANNOYED)
This is not funny.

Beast stops laughing.

BEAST
(TEASING)
Well maybe if you got burning mad you can melt away the ice.

Exile's eyes open wide.

EXILE
(THINKING)
Burning... Fire...
Crow
Words that have to do with a torch!
Exile's eyes grow bright red, Beast notices this.

BEAST
(CONFUSED)
Huh?

Exile looks up to the ceiling towards some fire sprinklers.
Heat beams fire from his eyes and hit one of the sprinkler
heads, the fire alarm sounds and water begins to spray out
of all the sprinklers. All the villains/villainess look up
in confusion. Back with Colleen, a smile comes across her
face. She looks at Blitz.

COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Now this is one dejavu I can live with.

Blitz is first confused by the statement, but after he
thinks for a moment he smiles. The two wink to each other.
The Two Rovers jump to their feet and stand on either side
of Doug and Bridgett, they notice this.

BRIDGETT
(CONFUSED)
What are you doing?
COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Popping your circuit breaker.

Realization fills both Doug's and Bridgett's faces. Colleen
kicks her and Blitz kick him into each other, their
Deflector Shields short out. They scream with pain. Colleen
grabs her and Blitz grabs him, they both prepare to punch
them. The criminals gasp. Both Rovers decks them and they go
sailing across the room, they land unconscious in a heap
near the table. Beast notices this, she turns to Exile.

BEAST
(BLUNT)
Your little trick may have saved your friends, but your fate
is still sealed.

Exile smiles.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Apparently you failed in science.

Exile struggles and scatters his ice cocoon, chunks fly
everywhere. Beast looks at him, stunned.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
Water melts ice.
Mike<sarcastic>
NAWWWW....REALLY?
It takes Beast a few moments to recover, but she smiles.

BEAST
(BLUNT)
This only means that we're back to square one.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
No. I don't think so.

Exile quickly grabs Beast and lifts her over her head, she
screams with terror. But screams even louder drown her out,
they are coming from Hunter. Exile looks over to him, the
lasers above him are going wild. They are all firing on and
off randomly. Hunter is looking up at the laser and dodging
them the best he can while he is strapped down, they are
barely missing him. Exile looks over to the controls for the
table, the water is shorting them out. He throws Beast at
the controls, she scream. She crashes into them and totally
shorts out the system, she is knocked unconscious on impact.
The lasers spot firing, Hunter sighs with relief. Ross
notices the tides have turned.

ROSS
(SARCASTIC)
As a cartoon character once said: Exit, stage left.
Crow
Wasn't that a panther who said that?
Ross races through the exit and out of the room, Bear
notices this. Research is still looking up at the sprinkler.
He lets go of Shag and pushes him away.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
What am I afraid of? I'm a dog.

RESEARCH
(BLUNT)
And what is that suppose to mean?

Research looks back at Bear, as she does he leap up and bites
her hand which is holding the needle. She screams and drops
it, Bear looks at Shag.
Crow
Now she needs a shot of her own for rabies
BEAR
(SARCASTIC)
She's all yours.

Bear turns and races after Ross. Shag snarls at Research and
fear shows in her face.

RESEARCH
(SCARED)
Now take it easy. I would never REALLY stick you with the
needle.

Shag walks towards Research and she backs away.

RESEARCH
(TERRIFIED)
I would never hurt you! Help!!!

Back at the table Exile, Colleen and Blitz rush up. They
free Hunter from his restraints and he jumps to his feet.
Shag, carrying Research, also rushes over. He plops her down
on the table and lock the restraints around her wrists and
ankles. She squirms helplessly.

RESEARCH
(ANGRY)
You can't do this too me! I'm a scientist!
Mike
So?
Hunter looks down at the table.
                              
HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Be quiet or we'll send you through the maze with the mice.

Research quickly simmers down.

RESEARCH
(FRIGHTEN)
No. Not the mice. Anything but the mice.

Hunter looks around to the Road Rovers, he smiles.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
It is good to see everyone back together again.

Colleen looks around the room.

COLLEEN
(CONCERNED)
Not everyone. Where's the Alaskan Malamute?

Everyone starts looking around. Shag mumbles something to
Hunter

HUNTER
(LISTENING)
No. Really?

Everybody looks to Hunter.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
What did he say?

Hunter looks at Colleen.

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
You can create your own gravy just by adding water!
mike rubs his forehead and crow sighs
COLLEEN, EXILE AND BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
Huh?

Shag continues talking and everyone looks at him.

HUNTER
(CONCERNED)
He also says our missing dog left with the master mind of
all our troubles.

EXILE
(ANNOYED)
He was working for him all along.

BLITZ
(BLUNT)
I knew he was a traitor.

COLLEEN
(CONFUSED)
I can't believe it.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Regardless whose side he's one, our duty is to round up ALL
the bad guys.

EXILE
(BLUNT)
Bad people.

HUNTER
(ANNOYED)
Sure.
                              
BLITZ
(DETERMINED)
Let's go get them!

HUNTER
(EXCITED)
Let's roll Rovers!
All
DON'T HOWL!
Hunter turns and races for the door, the rest of the Rovers
follow.

INTERIOR: HIDEOUT - CORRIDOR
Ross is dashing madly down an empty hall, Bear is in hot
pursuit.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
Heel Ross!

Ross screeches to a halt, so does Bear. Ross slowly turns
around, but when he sees it is only Bear he is relieved.

ROSS
(RELIEVED)
Whew. I thought you were one of the Road Rovers.

BEAR
(PROUD)
Well. In a sense, I am. I'm taking you to justice.

Ross bursts out laughing.

ROSS
(LAUGHING)
Get real! You're just like me. Looking out for yourself.

BEAR
(BLUNT)
No. That is who I USE to be. But that all died when I became
a dog.
Crow
Ooo, think your all big cause your a mutt!
Ross stops laughing.

ROSS
(BLUNT)
Whatever. But if you think I'm going to just let you haul me
away, you're crazy.

BEAR
(SARCASTIC)
You don't have much choice.

Bear growls at Ross and bares his sharp canine teeth, he
jumps back in fear.

ROSS
(SCARED)
Okay. Okay. You win. But if you really think I gave you all
your secrets back you'd better think again.

Bear stops growling.

ROSS
(SMUG)
That's right. I never let anyone go. So if you take me down
I'll expose you. What do you say now?

Bear is devastated. Ross smiles.

ROSS
(PLEASED)
I thought so.

Ross waves goodbye, turns and starts to walk away.

ROSS
(SARCASTIC)
Say goodbye to the Road Rover for me.

BEAR
(DETERMINED)
No. I will not be afraid anymore.
Crow
			
Bear rushes after Ross, over takes him and tackles him. Then
Bear pulls him to his feet, he prepares to punch him.

ROSS
(EXCITED)
You fool! I'll destroy you!

Bear hesitates, then decks Ross. He flies into the wall and
is knocked unconscious, he slumps to the floor.

BEAR
(SARCASTIC)
Whatever.
Mike
That was actualyl a good scene...
Clapping can be heard down the hall. Bear turns and sees it
is coming from the Road Rovers, they rush up to him.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
I knew you were on our side all along!

BLITZ
(EMBARRASSED)
Yeah. Me too.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
How does it feel to be a hero?

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
And one of us.

Bear shrugs his shoulders.

BEAR
(DISAPPOINTED)
I'm not a hero nor one of you.

BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
Sure you are.

EXILE
(PLEASED)
You knock out the bad person.

COLLEEN
(PLEASED)
And saved us from the deep freezer.

Bear thinks for a moment.
BEAR
(CONFUSED)
Well. If I'm one of you then I have one question.

ROAD ROVERS
(CONFUSED)
What?

BEAR
(BLUNT)
Why does it feel like I've broken every bone in my hand?
Mike and the bots do a fake laugh
Bear screams with pain and grabs the hand he punched Ross
with, he jumps around in pain. The Rovers all laugh.

EXTERIOR: HIDEOUT - STREET
Police cars and paddy wagons are spread out all around the
deserted street, the sun is just coming up. Police officers
are rushing here and there. Research, Beast, Doug and
Bridgett are all in handcuffs and are being placed into a
paddy wagon. Ross who is also in  handcuffs is being
escorted out of the building and over to Bear, Colleen,
Hunter, Blitz and Shag. He stops and looks the Road Rovers
over.

ROSS
(SMUG)
You have succeeded in nothing. It will take only one phone
call to my lawyer to retrieve the necessary secrets of the
police chief and all charges will be dropped.

Ross looks directly at Bear.

ROSS
(BLUNT)
Then I will have great pleasure as I broadcast your secrets
over the air. Heck, the networks might even buy it as a mini
series. I will destroy you!

Bear is devastated and the Rovers don't know what to say,
Ross laughs. The officers begin to lead Ross away, but he
spots smoke coming out of one of the upper floors.

ROSS
(CONFUSED)
What's burning up there?

Ross's eye grow wider.

ROSS
(EXCITED)
That's my office!
Tom
Someone put a metal can in the microwave...
Exile steps out of the building and walks towards the group.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
I am so dreadfully sorry. That is all my fault.

Everyone looks at Exile and he steps up to Ross.

EXILE
(SARCASTIC)
I found this hidden room in your office. It is a very
curious room. Filled with secret papers on business
executives, Governors, Congressmen, police officials and
more. I accidentally used my heat vision to burned up all
the documents in there. I am so dreadfully sorry.

Ross is terribly shaken.

ROSS
(SHAKEN)
Everything?
Mike
Even my beanie babies?

EXILE
(BLUNT)
Everything. And I made sure that all the records concerning
one Steven Today also went up in smoke.
Tom
Well thats good if it measn the movie's almost over
Bear brightens up.

ROSS
(INFURIATED)
You fool! Do you realize what this means?
Crow
Your plan is ruined and you're basically screwed?
Exile gets in Ross face.

EXILE
(BLUNT)
Most certainly. Any crimes you have been linked to can now
be freely investigated by the authorities.

Hunter points at Ross.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
You're going away for a long time.

Ross thinks for a moment, then smiles.

ROSS
(SMUG)
Maybe. Maybe not. Any charge is hard to stick without
witnesses.

Bear and the Road Rovers lose their smiles. Suddenly, the
guards that were trapped in the Rotor Rover with Muzzle rush
out of the building. Their clothes are all chewed  up and
shredded, they rush up to an officer. Everyone notices this.
Crow
Muzzle whipped their punys butts!
GUARD #5
(TERRIFIED)
Its a monster I tell you! A monster!

GUARD #6
(TERRIFIED)
All we saw were claws and fangs! Claws and fangs!
Mike
And claws, and a fangs, and claws, and...uh..FANGS!
GUARD #7
(TERRIFIED)
Save us! Lock us away! We'll confess everything!

GUARD #5
(TERRIFIED)
We've seen a lot of things! We'll tell you what you want to
know! We'll even turn state's witness!

GUARD #6
(TERRIFIED)
Just save us from that beast!

The guard all burst into tears, Bear and the Road Rovers
turn back to Ross.

BEAR
(SMUG)
You were saying?

ROSS
(DEVASTATED)
It will be nice and quiet in prison. Maybe I can catch up on
my reading.

The Road Rovers and Bear burst out laughing, Ross is led
away. Bear stops laughing and gets all depressed, the rest
notice this and stop laughing.

COLLEEN
(CONCERNED)
What's wrong?

Bear looks at his clawed fingers.

BEAR
(DEPRESSED)
I'm still a dog.
Mike
You expected to change back after commiting an act of bravery? you fool
EXILE
(CONFUSED)
So what's wrong with that?

Bear looks at the Rovers.

BEAR
(DISAPPOINTED)
Nothing if you were born one. But I wasn't.

Hunter puts his hand and Bear's shoulder, he looks at him.

HUNTER
(REASSURING)
Fear not my friend. I'm sure all it will take are a few
adjustments by Professor Hubert and another pass through the
Transdogmafier.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
Huh?
Crow
he said they'll do what they can
BLITZ
(BLUNT)
What Hunter is trying to say is that it should be no problem
getting you back to your pure human.

Bear smiles.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
Really?

Hunter nods.

HUNTER
(HONEST)
Yes. But until then...
Mike<immitating hunter>
WE FORGOT TO FIND THE MASTER'S EYES!!!!!!
HUNTER
(YELLS)
To the power of the pack!!!
Mike
PLEASE DON'T HOWL!
All the Road Rovers howl, Bear joins in.
Crow
THAT HORRIBLE SOUND!!!!
EXTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - SURFACE
It is like it was before except it near sunset.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - BRIEFING ROOM
All the Road Rovers are seated around the table, Bear and
Hubert are here as well. Muzzle has been strapped back to
his handcart and is hoping around in the background. The
Master is standing at his balcony. Everyone is anxiously
looking towards Hubert.

HUBERT
(SLOWLY)
I've completed the battery of tests on Steven.
Crow
and i've found out that he was actually born a dog, but looked human
MASTER
(INTERESTED)
And what will it take to change him back to his human form?
Crow<immitating the master>
I wish you had found my eyes
HUBERT
(HONEST)
I have no idea.

HUNTER, EXILE, COLLEEN, BLITZ, BEAR AND MASTER
(CONFUSED)
Huh?

HUBERT
(CAUTIOUS)
You have to understand that the Transdogmafier was designed
to transform pure canine elements to Cano-Sapiens. Steven
was all human when he activated the process. Somehow, the
Transdogmafier
transformed some of his human traits to canine. It may have
been the Dog Scent he used to hide his human scent, the
process may have incorporated some canine residues left
behind when we went through or the Transdogmafier may have
tried to synthesize canine elements when it could not find
in any in Steven. It could have been a combination of any of
these or none at all. I have no idea.
Mike
In other words, your screwed pal...
HUNTER
(CONCERNED)
Could we at least try getting him back to a human?

HUBERT
(CAUTIOUS)
With so many unknowns it would be a foolish risk. For all we
know another pass through the Transdogmafier may turn him
into a cat.
Tom
Then he'll do meow mix commercials!
EXILE
(DISGUSTED)
How revolting!

COLLEEN
(UPSET)
Ew! Gross!

BLITZ
(SICK)
I think I'm going to throw up.
Tom
Pleas don't we just ate
BEAR
(DEVASTATED)
So what you are saying I'll be like this for the rest of my
life.
Crow
SHOW ME: STUCK IN DOG BODY FOR REST OF LIFE! ding YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!
HUBERT
(DISAPPOINTED)
Unfortunately, yes. I am dreadfully sorry. I wish there was
something I could do.
Mike
Of course if i did something intelligent like sending you through the transdogamafifo-fie-, oh you know, it might help.
MASTER
(REASSURING)
I'm sure you did the best you could.
Crow<immitating master>
I really need my eyes you know...
HUBERT
(FRUSTRATED)
It is not good enough.

BEAR
(DEPRESSED)
The only one to blame is me. I did this to myself. I will
just have to learn to live with my mistake.
Mike
YEAH! DEAL WITH IT MUTT!
Bear sighs.

HUNTER
(UPBEAT)
But you won't have to do it alone.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
I could never return to my family like this. They'd totally
freak out.

HUNTER
(CAUTIOUS)
What I meant was we could always use another Road Rover.

Hunter looks towards the Master.

HUNTER
(CAUTIOUS)
That is, if it is all right with you Master.

COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
He has certainly proved he has all the qualities to be one
of us!

The Master rubs his chin and thinks for a moment, then looks
at Hunter.
Crow<immitating master>
if i had my eyes, i could tell who's talking you know
MASTER
(PLEASED)
Yes. That is a great idea.
						
The Master looks at Bear.

MASTER
(BLUNT)
That is, if that is what Steven wants.
Crow<immitating master>
and if he can find my eyes...
Bear pauses to think, then looks towards the Master.

BEAR
(CAUTIOUS)
I appreciate the offer but I must decline.

BLITZ
(CONFUSED)
What?

BEAR
(CAUTIOUS)
The Road Rovers are blunt and straight forward, where I like
working more behind the scenes. I would never fit in.
Mike
Well i've seen enough lets go.
Tom
NO MIKE. STAY! HEEL!
HUNTER
(EXCITED)
Sure you would!

BEAR
(BLUNT)
I have declined.

MASTER
(UNDERSTANDING)
We must respect his wishes.
Crow
Although you never respect my wishes for you to find my eyes
COLLEEN
(CONCERNED)
But what will you do?

Bear thinks for a moment.

BEAR
(BLUNT)
All my life I've looked away and refused to help others.
With this new body of mine, I can change all of that. I'd
like to correct all the wrongs I've caused. To do that I
have to be out there.
Crow
among my fellow canines....
Bear points towards the ceiling.

EXILE
(PROUD)
That is an admiral and noble task. I approve fully.

MASTER
(PLEASED)
I agree too... But that leaves us with one unfinished piece
of business. 
Crow<immitating master> 
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY EYES?!
MASTER
(PLEASED)
You know the location of this base. You know
the secrets and weaknesses of the Road Rovers. The question
is: How will you use this knowledge?

BEAR
(BLUNT)
I will set it into the back of my mind and forget about it.

MASTER
(SUSPICIOUS)
And why is that?
Crow
Geez steve just had to drag the movie into over time didn't he
BEAR
(HONEST)
In my present form I'm a Cano-Sapien, there is no getting
around that. Because of this I have canine loyalty built in.
But most of all, you are my friends. I came here as a thief
and you treated me as a king. As long as I'm a dog I
consider everyone in this room as my family. This
installation is my home. How could I betray that?
Mike
Easily, lie cheat steal, and END THE MOVIE!
HUNTER, EXILE, COLLEEN, HUBERT AND BLITZ
(TOUCHED)
Ahhh.

HUNTER
(TOUCHED)
That is really nice.

Blitz's eyes glaze over.

BLITZ
(TOUCHED)
I think I'm going to cry.

MASTER
(PLEASED)
As long as you feel that way you may come and go as you
please.
Crow<immitating master>
Will you try to find my eyes?
Tom<immitating Bear>
Oh what the hell. sure i will!
Bear stands up.

BEAR
(TOUCHED)
Well. I'd better go.
Tom<immitating Bear>
Got to find his eyes
EXILE
(CONCERNED)
Do you have to go so soon?

BEAR
(BLUNT)
You all have your work to do. And I have to get started on
mine.

HUBERT
(SLY)
Well, before you leave. There is something that might make
your job easier.

Hubert looks at the Master.

HUBERT
(CAUTIOUS)
Would it be okay if we gave Steven the new C.R. I've been
working on?

MASTER
(CONFUSED)
C.R.?
Crow<immitating master>
Ahh yes, the cake rocker
The Master thinks for a moment, then a smile comes across
his face.

MASTER
(PLEASED)
Oh. The C.R. Yes, I think that would be most appropriate.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
What is a C.R.?

COLLEEN
(CONFUSED)
That is what I was about to ask.

HUNTER
(CONFUSED)
Yeah.

Hubert stands up.

HUBERT
(BLUNT)
Well follow me and see.

Hubert turns and heads towards one of the exits, Bear and
the other Road Rovers stand up and follow him.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - CORRIDOR
In a typical hallway, Hubert leads Bear and the Road Rovers.
But halfway down the hall Bear stops. The Rovers do the
same. It takes Hubert a while to catch on, but he stops and
joins the group. Bear is looking around confused. Everyone
looks at Bear.

HUBERT
(CONCERNED)
What is it?

COLLEEN
(CONCERNED)
What's wrong.

Bear sniffs the air.
Tom<immitating Bear>
Some one broke wind....
BEAR
(CONFUSED)
I'm not really sure. But I sense something.

EXILE
(CONCERNED)
What Comrade?

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
I'm not really sure. But it feels like I'm being watched.
Crow
Mike, I think they've discovered us....
Hunter smiles.

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Bear. You crazy nut. We're watching you.

Blitz rolls his eyes.

BLITZ
(DRY)
Oh ya. The Baddies are going to tremble with fear from the
likes of you.

The gang chuckles once or twice. Bear keeps looking and
sniffing.

BEAR
(CONFUSED)
Actually, it seams like. Like.

Bear stops and looks at the other Rovers, he shrugs his
shoulders.

BEAR
(FRUSTRATED)
Like I've got to get use to being a dog.
Mike
That was pointless
Tom
Once again, like this movie
Bear turns and looks at Hubert.

BEAR
(EMBARRASSED)
Please Professor, lead on.

Hubert smiles, turns and starts down the hall. Bear and the
Rovers follow. After they leave something stirs in the
shadows. A Timber Wolf steps out into the light.
Crow
NOT ANOTHER CHARACTER!!!
She is gray in color. She has white paws and a white stripe from
her neck, down her belly and to her tail. She has blue-green
eyes. The wolf looks down the hall the way the group has
exited, she cocked her head. Suddenly, she turns and dashes
down the corridor in the opposite direction.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - TRANSDOGMAFIER ROOM
The Timber Wolf races into the room and stops. She eyes all
the Transdogmafier chambers over. After careful study, she
races into one of them. The chamber comes on-line and starts
working. Cries and yelps come from the chamber, it is quite
obvious that the wolf is in great pain. After a few seconds
the chamber shuts off. All is silent.

WOLF
(FEMALE HUMAN VOICE, AMERICAN ACCENT, SARCASTIC)
Bummer. I would not have predicted this.
Crow
A female Hunter?
It is silent again.

INTERIOR: ROAD ROVER MISSION CONTROL - ROVER WORK AREA
This is a large room filled with different partially
completed Road Rover vehicles, in the center of the room is
a super sleek motorcycle. There is one walk-in entrance and
a large doggie door exit. Hubert leads the Road Rovers and
Bear up to the motorcycle. He points at it.
Tom
Ok, the movie is technically over, what was the point of the wolf's appearence?
HUBERT
(PROUD)
This is the C.R. Or Cycle Rover.

HUNTER
(IMPRESSED)
Wow. It is really neat.

COLLEEN
(IMPRESSED)
Even cool.

Bear looks it over with glee.

BEAR
(SHOCKED)
This is all mine?

HUBERT
(PROUD)
Yes.

EXILE
(IMPRESSED)
You're one lucky puppy.
Crow
I mean dog...
Bear hops on and grabs the handlebars.

BEAR
(PLEASED)
This is great. In fact, you know what it makes me feel like?
Crow
Ending the movie?
Everyone shrugs their shoulders.

BEAR
(PLEASED)
Like I've been falsely accused of my wife's murder and have
teamed up with a Indian companion in a RV and we cruise the
highways fighting for justice.
Tom<fake laughing>
ha..ha...ha..ha
COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
He's definitely one of us.

Hunter places his hand on Bear's shoulder.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
What more could you need? Steven.

Bear thinks for a moment, then looks at Hunter.

BEAR
(HONEST)
Steven is my human name. Now that I'm a crime fighting dog I
need a really cool hero name.
Crow
How about, "really dumb guy who was turned into a dog and drives a motorbike?"
HUNTER
(EXCITED)
The Dog Avenger!
Mike
no...
EXILE
(EXCITED)
Canine Crime Stopper!
Crow
uh uh.....
HUBERT
(EXCITED)
Master Mutt!
Tom
er....
BLITZ
(EXCITED)
Power Puppy!
All
DON'T BE WEIRD BOY!
Bear smiles.

BEAR
(EXCITED)
I got it!

COLLEEN
(WHISPERS)
So help me. If he says Renegade I'll scream.
Tom
I'm with her
BEAR
(EXCITED)
Bear!

HUNTER, COLLEEN, EXILE AND HUBERT
(CONFUSED)
Huh?

BLITZ
(HONEST)
Well. It is certainly better than Fluffy.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
Then Bear it is.

Bear kick starts the Cycle rover and revs it up.
Crow
How come a dog can get a driver's license and I can't even get a permit?
COLLEEN
(EXCITED)
Bye!

EXILE
(EXCITED)
Good luck!

BLITZ
(EXCITED)
Happy trails.

HUBERT
(EXCITED)
Stay in touch!

Bear just waves, places the Cycle Rover is gear and speeds
away. The vehicle begins to swerve. It starts to crash into
several of the unfinished vehicles and bounces off. Bear
cries in fear and the motorcycle flies through the doggie
door and disappears.
Mike
He needs additional driver's ed
Crow<immitating Hunter>
He doesn't need additonal drivers, and my name's not ed.
COLLEEN
(SARCASTIC)
Do you get the feeling that he has no clue on how to drive a
motorcycle?

HUNTER
(SARCASTIC)
Oh yeah.

They turn and head for the exit.

EXTERIOR: WHITE HOUSE - HUNTER'S DOGHOUSE
It is night and the robot Hunter has Sox up the tree again,
he is barking at the cat. The lights in the White House come
on, the president steps up to the window.

PRESIDENT
(VOICE OVER, DISAPPOINTED)
Hillary. He's at it again.
Crow
GET HIM OFF MY LEG HILLARY!
FIRST LADY
(VOICE OVER, BLUNT)
Hey. He's YOUR dog.
Crow
Why is he my dog whenever he misbehaves?
The president sighs, turns and moves away from the window.
The Robot Hunter stops barking, looks at the camera and
winks.

FADE OUT

Words which read "Dedicated to Baby Bear Today: Born January
1986 - Died October 11, 1996" appears for a few seconds and
then fade away.
Tom
Awwwww, ain't that sweet? 
Crow
Not, really
TODAY'S QUOTE: "The more I see of the representatives of the
people, the more I admire the dogs"- Alphonse de Lamartine,
letter to John Forster (1850) as submitted by Matt Morgan.
Mike
Whatever
<Mike and the bots get up and leave the theater>
<show closing door sequence>
Mike
That has to be the worse one yet.
Crow
HEY GUYS! SOMETHING'S HAPPENING OVER WITH PEARL!
<they all look at the camera. switch to pearl's ship>
Steve
Ok, your bill comes to......$999.99
Pearl
WHAT! WHY SO MUCH?!
Steve
Cause i need the dough
Pearl 
Why You!!!
<Pearl pulls out a gun and aims at Steve, she fires and hits him in the leg>
Steve
OW! you buttmonkey! that hurt!
Pearl 
Oh yeah, well this won't hurt..much
she opens steve's door and pushes him out with her foot.>
Steve<fading out of distance>
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! I'LL BE BACK! WITH EVEN WORSE MOVIES!!!!
<Show Steve slip into a blackhole>
Bobo
Um lawgiver, 
Pearl
WHAT?!
Bobo
i need to make a pit stop...
Pearl
Great...GO IN THE BLACKHOLE!!
Bobo
Ok
<Bobo exits the ship adn we hear him talking as he floats out to the blackhole>
Bobo
IT SURE IS DARK HERE!
Pearl
Mike, I apologize for what you had to see just then.
Mike
You mean the movie?
Pearl
HELL NO! i meant when Steve had his little accident
Mike
Ah
<switch to the interior of the blackhole. we see Steve looking very cross, floating about> 
Steve
Well this is just GREAT! What next?
<Steve begins to get sprayed by something>
Steve
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
<fade out>
<show credits, while credits role, we here steve get pelted by something squishy>
Steve<voice over>
GROOOOOOOSSSS!!!!!!!
Stinger:Shag and Bear grab each other and hug one another, they
shiver with fear.
