MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE RETURN
"ROAD ROVERS:THE MOVIE" 

Written By
Nick Myers

Road Rovers is the property of Warner Bros., I nor this script are connected
with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form., Road Rovers:The Movie contents
are copyrighted by me, Nick Myers., MST3K is the property of Best Brains, I
nor this script are connected with Best Brains in any way, shape, or form.,
Story contents are copyrighted by me, Nick Myers.

My idea for a MST3K Movie sequel where they make fun of a Road Rover movie
made up by me and my bro Brian. It isn't linked to any sites or is an actuall
fan fic, so if you want it made into a full blown script, E-mail me.
Otherwise, on with the show!

FADE IN

Setting:Castle Forrester
Pearl was fussing with a movie projector while Bobo and Observer were standing
in rank behind her. She sees that she's on and turns to the camera.

PEARL
(PLEASED)
<Clears throat>, Hi, I'm Pearl Forrester, and soon, you will all be kissing my
feet. What you're about to see is an experiment, and by observing, you have
become part of this experiment. For I have a man in space, and I'm forcing him
to watch some of the sh....urley fine quality movies.

She finally gets the projector working and pulls out a picture of Mike, Crow,
and Tom.

PEARL
(SMUG)
Here's my test subject, as you all know, Mike Nelson, and his robot friends.
He is so darn headstrong. He has survived every movie I've sent him! How the
hell does he do it?

She notices what she's doing.

PEARL
(EMBARRASSED)
Well, you'll join these dudes in watching the crappiest script I've ever read
turned into a movie. Road Rovers. They'll never survive.

She laughs menacingly.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

Setting:Outer Space
Everything in quiet, suddenly a small planet the size of a pea starts to grow
as we move twords it, it's the revolving planet, it shows the sign "MYSTERY
SCIENCE THEATER 3000" carved in it, it suddenly explodes and the words "THE
RETURN" appear in big letters then dissapear. We scroll over to a dog-shaped
ship, this is the satelite Of Love, it hovers over Earth.

<Tunnel Sequence>
Door #1 Vault Door
Door #2 Twin doors with a force field in front
Door #3 A Draw Bridge
Door #4 Normal house door

Setting:SOL
Everything is quiet and empty, until......

VOICES
(IN UNISION, SINGING)
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg,
The Batmobile lost it's wheel
And the Joker got away!

Mike, Crow, and Tom walk into the room, they stop singing.

MIKE
(CALLING)
Gypsy! Where's my newspaper?

Gypsy comes rolling into the room with the newspaper in her mouth which Mike
snatches.

MIKE
(BLUNT)
Thank you.

Mike looks at the newspaper and giggles.

CROW
(CONFUSED)
What's so funny Mike?

TOM
(CONFUSED)
You reading the funnies?

MIKE
(LAUGHING)
No, all the forign stock markets crashed.

Suddenly a oarnge button on the controll flashes.

MIKE
(BLUNT)
Oh, Pearl the Girl's calling.

Mike touches the button.

Setting:Castle Forrester
Pearl was rolling up a film reel.

PEARL
(PLEASED)
Oh, hi Nelsnerk. How are you?

<FADE TO SOL>

MIKE
(BLUNT)
Er........I'm fine.

<FADE TO CASTLE>

PEARL
(SMUG)
I have a real treat for y'all. It's a real-life movie gif of the popular
series Road Rovers. It's called, what else? Road Rovers. It was a script
written by the infamous Nick Myers, unfortunately, Warner Bros. loved it and
turned it into a movie. It sucks pretty bad. Brain guy......

Brain guy appeared.

BRAIN GUY
(INQUISITIVE)
Yes?

PEARL
(BLUNT)
Send them the movie.

BRAIN GUY
(BLUNT)
Yes madam.

<FADE TO SOL>

The MST3K gang look at each other.

MIKE
(CONFUSED)
Who is this Dick Fryers?

Suddenly lights flashed and alarms blarred.

ALL
(EXCITED)
MOVIE SIGN!

<Tunnel Sequence>

Mike carries Tom and Crow follows. The WB Family Entertainment Sign appears.

MIKE
(ANNOYED)
I somehow knew Bugs Bunny was behind this.

The screen turns black.

CROW
(SARCASTC)
Oh, it's over, I guess we came in late.

Suddenly the words "WARNER BROS. PRESENTS" appears in big white letters.

TOM
(CONFUSED)
Oh, Presents!

The words explode and then the words "A NICK MYERS FILM" appear.

MIKE
(SARCASTIC)
So, he does all the union work?  

Those words explode.

CROW
(SARCASTIC)
So instead of blowing charecters, they blow credits?

Suddenly the word "ROAD" scrolled across the screen. Then the word "ROVERS"
scroll across the screen.

CROW
(SARCASTC)
Cheap trick.

Suddenly the two words collide and form the words "ROAD ROVERS".

MIKE
(SARCASTIC)
So, all this movie is credits?

Suddenly they explode and it fades in on a farm.

CROW
(SINGING)
OOOOOOOOOOOKLAHOMA!

Suddenly the words "Yellowstone, Wyoming, 5 years ago (That's 35 in dog
years)" appears then dissapears, we fade to a house next to a barn in the
farm.

MIKE
(SARCASTIC)
Whoops, we must be in the wrong movie, we're actually watching "THE BIG
VALLEY"!

Suddenly a new born Golden Retriver pup runs out onto the field from the barn.

MIKE
(CONFUSED)
Is that........

TOM
(CONFUSED)
.......Hunter? 

The retriver barks and starts to run in the grass, chasing some sheep away.

CROW
(IMITATING SHEEP)
Baaaaad boy, baaaaad boy.

Suddenly there was the sound of footsteps.

VOICE
(SOUTHERN ACCENT, BLUNT)
Well, the old geyser had another pup. Too bad we have to dispose of it.

MIKE
(IMPERSONATING MAN)
I'm getting sick of this one anyway.

A pair of farmers walk to the pup, one had a rifle in hand.

MIKE
(REDNICK VOICE)
Heh, heh, heh. Time for dinner, we're having retriver ala oarnge.

FARMER #1
(BLUNT)
Take him.

The second farmer points the rifle at the pup's head.

TOM
(IMPERSONATING PUP)
Can't I have any last words.

The farmer pulls back on the hammer and was about to shoot when a grown-up
male retriver bites his rear end. The farmer screams in pain.

FARMER #2
(SOUTHERN ACCENT, IN PAIN)
Damn mutt!

MIKE
(IMPERSONATING FARMER)
I just had my pants cleaned!

The other farmer grabs the shotgun and we now close up on the mutt, we hear a
shot.

CROW
(IMPERSONATING PUP)
Eww, and I just had lunch!

Suddenly we cut to a bedroom where Hunter (a male Golden Retriver cano-
saipien) suddenly wakes up, he is wearing boxer shorts.

MIKE
(IMPERSONATING HUNTER)
Gah, football practice!

Hunter pants heavily.

TOM
(IMPERSONATING HUNTER)
I have the vapors.

Hunter gets off the bed and walks to a dresser, on it are pictures of his
parents, he picks up one of a male grown-up retriver that looks alot like him
and sighs. 

HUNTER
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
The same dream.

MIKE
(IMPERSONATING HUNTER)
Am I on drugs or something?

He puts the picture down. He looks at his clock, it's 1:00 am.

CROW
(IMPERSONATING HUNTER)
I slept for 2 whole minnutes, not bad.

Hunter groans.

HUNTER
(ANNOYED)
Damn it.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door.

VOICE
(FEMALE BRITISH ACCENT, FROM BEHIND DOOR)
Hunter, what is it?

TOM
(SACASTIC)
You want a beer or something?

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Nothing is wrong, I'm okay!

MIKE
(IMPERSONATING HUNTER)
I freaked out, that's all!

VOICE
(CONCERNED)
You sure?

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Yeah!

VOICE
(CONCENED)
Okay.

The sounds of footsteps can be herd. Hunter sighs.

CROW
(IMPERSONATING HUNTER)
What do I see in those people?

Hunter lays back in bed and goes to sleep.

CROW
(CONFUSED)
So that's it?

Suddenly the screen turns black and the words "The Next Day" appear then
dissapear. We fade to the outerior of RRHQ. The words "Hydrant Hall" appear.

TOM
(CONFUSED)
"Hydrant Hall"? They name their equipment the weirdest things these days.

We fade to the interior, at the kitchen, Shag is cooking breakfast.

CROW
(IMPERSONATING SHAG)
Where's the toilet water when I need it? 

Hunter walks into the kitchen, now wearing the RR Metallic Suit. At the bottom
of the screen reads "STARRING MARK HAMMIL AS HUNTER".

TOM
(IMPERSONATING OBI-WAN KENOBI)
Luke, use the force Luke.

HUNTER
(PLEASED)
Good morning Shag.

CROW
(IMPERSONATING HUNTER)
How's the bar?

The words "LUCY LAWLESS AS COLLEEN" appear at the bottm of the screen.

SHAG
(IN HIS VOICE)
Good morning.

TOM
(SARCASTIC)
So, Donald Pleasance is Shag in this movie?

The words "FRANK WELKER AS SHAG" appear at the bottom of the screen as Colleen
(A felmale Collie cano-saipien) walks in wearing the typical RR Metallic suit.

TOM
(ANNOYED)
Sue me.

Colleen passes by Hunter.

COLLEEN
(OFF SCREEN)
Hi Hunter.

TOM
(DEEP VOICE)
Hi McCormick.

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Er....hi Colleen.

MIKE
(SARCASTIC)
Hi Chief.

CROW
(SARCASTIC)
Hi McCloud.

COLLEEN
(OFF SCREEN)
You sound kinda tense. Are you sleeping alright?

Hunter nodded as the words "SYLVESTER STALLONE AS EXILE" appear.

MIKE
(IMPERSONATING SYLVESTER STALLONE)
Yo, Adrien! I did it!

HUNTER
(BLUNT)
Yeah. I'm just a little tired. I had a really horrible dream last night.

CROW
(BABY TALK)
Aww, well jump in my lap and tell me all about it.
