A Song

"...all you can do is endure it: do not grieve for what cannot be altered.  You will not accomplish a thing by endlessly mourning for him; you cannot bring him to life.  And worse things are still to be suffered..."

"What do you mean? Who are you? Why are you doing this?!"

Tears streamed down a bitter face. Why? Why him? Why me? It was all that she could think.  She cradled his lifeless body in her arms.  Her heart broke for what she saw.  His handsome face torn and bleeding, just like his body, limp, unresponding.

"WHY?!?!" she screamed in anguish at the cold, dead, grey sky.  Rain accompanied the tears pouring down her face.  "TK!!!!"

*****

"TK!!"

Kari sat bolt upright, sobbing in her hands.

"TK...oh TK, what have I done?"

"It's ok, Kari, ssshhh...it's ok."

     TK gathered her fevered body in his arms as he tried to soothe away her   bad  dreams.  She had fallen ill again a few days ago.  He had  thought  that maybe she had outgrown her proneness to illness, but here she  was, sick  again.  At first they had thought it was only a bit of a cold, so they  hadn't returned to the real world right away.  But as the day had progressed  she became paler and paler.  By the time they had decided that she had  to go back to the real world it was too late, she was too weak to travel.

      That was when the fever rose and the hallucinations began.  At  first   nothing anyone tried could soothe her.  She would come out of  a delirious   sleep crying and shaking, calling out incomprehensible things.   Everyone   tried to help, they even called Tai, but not even he or Gatomon  could reach   her.  Finally in one of her more lucid moments they were  able to make   out TK's name.  He rushed to her side immediately and she clutched onto   him as if for dear life.  He had held her until she had drifted into   a somewhat more peaceful sleep. 

He hadn't left her side in three days.  They hadn't left the digital world in five.  It was starting to become harder and harder to lie to their parents.  Matt had told his mom that TK was staying with him and their dad for a couple of weeks, but they were running out of lies for Kari's mom.  Tai was very nearly ready to crack under the pressure of the charade.  Everyone else had periodically returned to the real world so as not to arouse more suspicion.

They had called Joe, but he was only able to tell them to make Kari comfortable    and let her rest as much as possible.  There wasn't anything anyone   could do, they could only hope and pray.

Poor Gatomon was taking this harder than anyone.  No one could even get near Kari, except TK.  She didn't know what to do for her best and only true friend.  She stayed by Kari's side, as close as she could get without causing Kari pain, for that was what physical contact seemed to be doing.  If anyone but TK touched her she would begin screaming in agony as though being burned.  Everyone felt so helpless.

*****

"I can't TK.  I'm sorry, I'm just not strong like my brother, Tai."

"So you're gonna quit?!  Give up?!  Just like that?! Look Kari, I care too much about you to let anyone take you without a fight!"

"I'm trying TK, I really am," Kari muttered to herself again and again. 

    All around her was grey and she had never felt so completely and utterly   alone in all her life.  She wanted to go home, but she didn't know how.   At first she thought she had returned to the dark ocean, but she never saw  any ocean where she was now.  All around her was nothingness, cold, grey,  nothingness.  That is, nothingness, and the voices.

    Sometimes they taunted her.  Sometimes they comforted her.   Sometimes  they were as cold and unfeeling as the greyness around her, simply  stating  what was, what is, what would be.  The longer she stayed here,  the colder  she got.  She didn't even really notice when she stopped  feeling her  body.  It just sorta happened.  Slowly, that same numbness had started to invade her mind.  But it couldn't seem to completely  take over.   Something would stop it, just as it was about to pull her  into a world of  cold, unfeeling bleakness.

    That's when the voices would begin their taunting.  She would watch   her friends die, one by one; Gatomon, Tai, Yolei...each death more gruesome   than the next.  Her only means of defence was to block out her feelings,   and the numbness would start to set in again.

"The winter here's cold, and bitter.  It chills us to the bone.  Haven't seen the sun for weeks.  Too long, too far from home.  Feels just like I'm sinking, I claw for solid ground.  Pulled down by the undertow, never thought I could feel so low. In this darkness I feel like letting go..."

"STOP IT!!!" she screamed at the voices, as they taunted her with the melancholy song.  She had never heard it before, but the sorrow in it's words, in it's melody, was almost too much.  "Please..." she begged quietly, "please stop doing this.  I don't know what you want," her eyes filled with tears and hopelessness began to set in.

"Well it's not so bad, you're only the best I ever had.  I don't want you back, you're just the best I ever had."

"Stop it, stop it stop it stopit stopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopit" she cried again and again, hands clutched to the sides of her face, rocking on her heels, crouched in a foetal position."

"....I care too much about you to let anyone take you without a fight..."

"Thank you, TK," she whispered quietly, as some of the darkness backed off.

*****

TK's eyes widened in surprise at Kari's words. Thank you for what? he thought to himself. 

   He felt her tighten her grip on his shirt, but her breathing was less laboured.   He was leaning against a tree with Kari cradled in his lap, her face buried  in his chest and her hands clutching the front of his shirt.  Gatomon  lay curled up at his feet with Patamon nearby trying to comfort her.

"What do you think she was thanking you for, TK?" Gatomon asked quietly.

"You heard her too?  I thought maybe I had imagined it," TK answered   with some relief. 

In the last few hours, Kari had begun to be more comprehensible.  Words, sentences, sometimes whole paragraphs were understandable, even though nobody knew what she was talking about.

"I don't know, maybe on some level she knows that I'm here."

"Why do you think she's only letting you touch her?" Patamon asked, " I don't understand why Gatomon doesn't seem to be comforting her, or Tai for that matter."

Gatomon's eyes filled with tears of helplessness.  Patamon instantly regretted asking. 

"I'm sorry Gatomon," he said softly.

"It's ok, Patamon, you're right though.  I just feel so frustrated!" Gatomon wiped the tears from her eyes harshly.

"We all know how you feel, Gatomon," Tai said as he walked towards them, " but sometimes, all you can do is endure it."

"What did you say?" asked TK, suddenly very alert, though he didn't really know why.

"I said that sometimes you just need to stick things out." Tai answered, somewhat confused.

   "No. You said 'all you can do is endure it'," TK wasn't sure why he was  being so nit picky, but something about it sounded familiar.

"What difference does it make?" asked Tai, starting to feel defensive.

"I don't know," TK answered softly, "it just sounded familiar, like I'd heard it somewhere before."

"TK...TK don't leave me, please, I need you TK...." Kari's muffled voice caught their attention, "...please..." she choked out on a sob.

"Shhh, it's ok Kari, I'm right here and I'm not going to leave you, I promise," as he tightened his grip on her, "Tai and Gatomon are here too, none of us are going to leave you."

"Tai?" she asked on another sob.

Tai nearly tripped over himself as he rushed towards his sister.  When he got to them he cupped her face in his hand.  "That's right Kari, I'm here, and TK, Gatomon and I are never gonna leave you."

   "...So it's better this way, I said, having seen this place before.    Where everything we said and did, hurts us all the more..." she sang in the  same melancholy tune that the voices taunted her with.

Tai looked at TK in confusion.  All the other boy could do was shrug his shoulders and shake his head sadly. " I really don't know, Tai.  She seems lucid, but then she starts to sing these songs.  There are about 3 or 4 different ones, I 've never heard any of them, but they are all sad and bleak."

Suddenly Kari started screaming and flailing about. 

"STOP IT!!!" she screamed, "You killed them!! Why did you kill them all!! Gatomon! Tai! WHY?!!? TK help me!! PLEASE!! BRING THEM BACK!!! Stop it stop it stop it....please..." she cried over and over again, screaming and crying, while TK tried desperately to hold on.  Tai reached out to try and soothe her, causing her to scream louder.

"It's OK!! KARI!! You have to listen to me! Tai and Gatomon, and all the others, they're not dead, they're all here and we all want you back.  Please Kari!! You have to keep fighting."

TK's words seemed to be working as her screaming receded to quiet sobs and her frail form relaxed and quit struggling.

*****

Kari was running.  She didn't know what she was running from, but she knew if it caught her, she was as good as dead.  Tai, Gatomon, I need you.  Why aren't you here?  Why did you have to die?  I'm so sorry, it's all my fault.

" If all of the strength and all of the courage cannot lift me from this place"

"TK! You have to help me!" she yelled.  " I don't know how much longer I can fight this..."

*****

"....you have to fight with me.  I can't....I can't do this alone..."

"Tell me how to help you Kari!"

Kari was now sitting up in his lap, her eyes were open, but she seemed to be looking through him.

"...not that bad, your only the best I ever had..." she sang

TK was shaking in frustration.  He didn't know how to help her, but he knew that he was running out of time.

"How long has she been singing at you TK?" asked Gatomon, her eyes wide, as though she had an idea.

"I don't know, off and on ever since she first lost consciousness," he replied.

"And it's always the same hopeless songs, right?"

"That's right...What's your point?!" he almost screamed.

"You're the crest of hope TK, sing back, give her back her hope!!" Tai clued in the what Gatomon was thinking.

"I don't know what to sing to her, Tai!"

Suddenly words began to fill his head, words and melodies he had never heard before.

"All of my life, I've was in hiding, wishing there was someone just like you.  Now that you're here, now that I've found you, I know that you're the one to pull me through."

Both their crests were glowing now.  The others had approached, eyes wide.

"Give her back the hope, TK!" they all shouted.

*****

"...I know that you're the one to pull me through..."

"TK?"  Kari stopped running and her eyes widened as she was suddenly surrounded by the lights from their crests.

" Deliver me, out of my sadness, from all of the madness.  Deliver me, courage to guide me, strength from inside me."

Suddenly, TK was in front of her, holding her.  She felt safe, and she felt warm.

All around them, the voices taunted angrily.  But safe in TK's arms, they were getting softer and softer. 

*****

"Thank you, Takeru-sun."

When the glow of their crests receded and the others could see them again, they noticed that Kari's eyes were open, and that they had lost the glazed look from before.  She had also regained some of her colour, though she was till very pale.

Gatomon ran and jumped into Kari's arms.  TK just sat there and hugged them both, tears running from his eyes.

"You're welcome Hikari-chan."

Tai came and helped Kari to stand.  She was standing for no more than 5 seconds when her legs gave out on her.  TK quickly caught her and scooped her into his arms. 

"Do you think you're strong enough to go back to the real world?" he asked.

"I just wanna go home, TK," she replied in a tired voice.

   So TK carried Kari, with Gatomon cradled in her own arms, towards the  gate. 

   Once they got to Kari and Tai's place, TK carried Kari's peacefully sleeping   form to her room and tucked her into bed.  Exhaustion finally took it's  toll on him and he curled up next to her, spoon-style with her in his arms.

   Meanwhile, Tai was telling his mom that Kari was back from her 'school trip' and that she was sleeping, and that there was no need to check on her.  She  just shrugged and turned in herself for the night.

In the early morning hours, Kari woke up feeling much stronger, and more at peace than she had ever felt.  Especially when she noticed TK's arms wrapped around her.

"I love you Takeru-sun," she whispered to his sleeping form.

   "I love you too, Hikari-chan," he whispered back, not opening his eyes,  but tightening his grip around her waist.

They both fell back into a much needed sleep.  Gatomon purring contentedly at their feet.

Finis