All That Matters!

Ode To Coffee

Despite the title, expect not a sonnet for I no writer of poems, in fact, sometimes my prose is shaky at best and yet, I can save some of my best words, phrases and lines to sing the praises of coffee, the drink that some relegate to only being a morning brew but which those of us who truly love it drink throughout the day. Coffee has the ability to sing a true siren's song the brings us back to her all day long as we work through projects at home and work. It beckons us during times of relaxation and lures us to take breaks from activity to pay attention to its subtle gifts.

Fresh brewed coffee has aromatic subtle notes that dance across our tongues and palates as it teases our olfactory with its ability to titillate us and arouse us while creating a sense of satisfaction we taste and smell as we feel it swirling through our mouths and down our throats. Good coffee needs no accompaniment save perhaps a splash of cream or maybe a dot of sugar to enhance the experience and bring out the fuller body of the brew.

Those of us who drink and enjoy coffee will find our own way to bring out the best of each cup and in doing so will heighten our pleasure while delighting our senses with each cup. So in the spirit of camaraderie I raise a mug to my lips with you and drink in the indulgence known as a well brewed cup of coffee. Enjoy!

Ciao! Beyond The Mausoleum Door

Beyond the mausoleum door lies the memory of many well enjoyed cups of coffee past, for example back before it was de rigueur to so in cafes there would be coffee shops around that served their gourmet brew in clear coffee mugs so the treat was not only tasty but visual, you could see the swirl of cream as it spiraled into your coffee. It was possible to enhance the experience by the richness of enhancing all the senses in not only your cup of coffee but that of your companion as the black or cream tinged brew would be enjoyed through shared sight and smell while discussing the subtle smokiness of the brew as you drank it.

There were the cups of coffee you drank while cramming for tests or writing papers, some would even be, gasp, instant or from vending machines as you found your brew wherever you could and as quickly as possible while trying to get through the finer points of higher education so you could move on along your career track. I remember many a pot of Folger's coffee that fueled all night stints producing papers that would propel me through undergraduate and graduate school. In fact, I may owe my degrees to that coffee company for helping my cup serve as a constant companion to alertness as I worked thought out the midnight hours.

We all have cups of coffee in our past shared with friends, usually very close and personal friends as we discussed the painful break up of yet another relationship or the joyous escapades and serendipity of a new love that had entered our lives. Whether discussing the finer points of karma catching up with someone who had hurt us or delighting in the intensity and temptation of a new love, coffee has been our friend with our human, and maybe even animal, companions as we have traversed through changes in relationships with others along the path our our lives' journey.

There have been coffee cups of pain mixed with joy as we have awaited news during surgery, child birth, emergency room visits, while waiting for visiting hours in ICU units and sadly at visitation and after funerals as the circle of life has revolved around friends, family, life and death while we have shared coffee as a uniting factor between those with whom we have played a part in these unfolding dramas we call life.

Many more stories come to mind of past cups of coffee shared and enjoyed as uniting forces when we have celebrated and when sorrow has been part of our daily activity. Despite the many circumstances, there has always been the brew to connect us though the adventure known as the passages of time. We will not see those cups again but like our lost love ones they still linger in our minds as gifts that nurtured body and soul.

Ciao! The Capricious Nature of Coffee

Most people would not consider coffee to have a capricious nature, for them, coffee just is, they are sanguine about their brew and believe that every cup will meet their expectations despite possible past instances to the contrary. Coffee must be well roasted, fresh and properly brewed in order to be fully enjoyed. If any of these elements are missing you can end up with bitter swill that is scarcely drinkable despite adding such things as creamer and sugar. It is this very type of situation that leads me to state that coffee has a capricious nature.

It goes back to the soil and climate that the bean is grown in, the harvesting of the coffee at the perfect time, the handling of the tender beans as they make their way to the roaster and then the manner in which the beans are roasted. After that there is the length of time between roasting and the grinding of the bean...if the bean is ground to soon and kept waiting on a shelf for an extended period of time it can lose its flavor and aroma. Fresh roasted and ground coffee are the best for the peak experience in enjoying the cup of coffee.

Once the coffee has been processed properly then there is the brew, if it is too strong, to weak, left to sit or improperly attended the consumer can find oneself dealing with a cup of java that does not meet their expectations in the least. The coffee must be properly brewed to finalize the experience we all hope for as we pour a cup of coffee or have one served to us so that we can fully enjoy the drink and partake in the little moment of nirvana known as a delightful cup of coffee.

Ciao! Alphabet Soup

Brevity will not be at the soul of this essay for I am addressing a list of alphabetical writing prompts that will be inspiration for my verbose ramblings. I opted for this peculiar exercise because I am keen on actionable inspiration that can keep me in a jocular mood and prevent me from being just a lout as I write.

My writing tends to be restrained at times with minimal input and yet I try to get maximum "bang" with the words I write. I enjoy the task at hand and try to celebrate the written word in my little essays even when they are less than inspired.

Sometimes when I am writing I find inspiration in coarse and despicable characters as I have met many unpleasant souls in my years as a child abuse investigator and yet in my soul of souls I prefer to write luscious erotica featuring trembling nubile damsels consorting with suave, hot heroes who will bring them to the edge of ecstasy while whispering sweet nothings in their ears. Although I can visualize these characters sometimes I cannot bring them to life as I can the louts who represent the underbelly of our peculiar society.

Although I tend to extrapolate with some of my little scribblings I am a rather jocular soul who tries not to quibble with my readers or within my own writings...there should be no reason for my audience to need Xanax upon reading my text nor to feel the need to apply balm or unguent to their psyches when finishing up one of my little tomes. I try to bring out that which is pleasant even though I do at times write about things with are difficult to read even though I try to steer away from that which is barbed.

Although often inspired by youthful hellions on the brink of anarchy I try to opt for graceful young things who are more influenced by the subtleties of their horoscopes and signs of the zodiac rather than coarse influences that can bring them to ruin at the nadir of their actions. This juxtaposition can have my mind quibbling in a figural way as I write because I see the world one way but try to super impose a better society upon the one that I see in my own life and reality.

In closing I will say that this essay of alphabet soup was written for my dear friend Fraidy who keeps me in words so that my works will be verbose and not minimalist because she provides me with inspiration that goes beyond the pale.

Ciao! Ode to Shiloh

Shiloh was herding his goats when suddenly he caught the whiff of a mole underground. He began sniffing around and was suddenly digging with his paws in the dirt and leaves to unearth said mole so that he could claim his prize despite the fact that he was getting hot although he was glad there wasn't any snow around because then he would not have been able to do his mole digging. It didn't take him long to find the mole. He played with it for a while, licking it even before he let it go as he knew his mom was watching him and would not let him play with the mole for too long.

While playing Shiloh got quite dirty and muddy ending up having to first be brushed to clear away some dirt, leaves and fluff...then he was given a bath. Shiloh did not like being a wet dog and was most miffed about the situation but his mom ameliorated the situation and promising to take him to the dog park. This excited Shiloh very much. He liked going to the dog park even more than he liked herding his goats.

After the trip to the dog park Shiloh's mom noticed that he was really shedding fur despite having been bathed and washed earlier in the day so she had to brush him again and then after giving him some treats she trimmed the hair on his paws which he hates even more than getting a bath.

All in all Shiloh had a busy day and was almost to tired to eat his dinner. He slept well throughout the night but the next day was ready and eager to play with his goats again.

Ciao! On Writing!

Today is an experience in writing one's fanny off and seeing if you can write three thousand words in one day. I have been writing since about 6 this morning, it is now almost 10 am. I have written 5 essays and have written almost two thousand words. I have taken several breaks in this time to see what is going on in the rest of the world and to rest my derriere. Oh yes, I did take a breakfast break too.

I have found the day to be most enjoyable although I am getting sleepy and will likely take a nap soon. Writing and making up stories has been my "heart" for most of my 53 years. Even in the time that I was unable to write I still made up stories inside my head storing them away for possible use later. It is not possible to remember them all for I have forgotten many more things than I have retained and yet I know that somewhere in the deepest, dark recesses of my mind there are tales that I made up even 50 years ago that someday may again come to light.

For a long time I could not write. The words were in my head but would not come through my fingers to be scribbled down, typed or input on the computer so that I could have them for future reference. It wasn't truly writer's block, the ideas were there but they were frozen in my mind and could not be set free.

I am glad to be able to write again even if what I say is stuff and nonsense. It is a joy to put words out there in the ether so that I can enjoy them and others might enjoy them too. I am no genius and I am not into hyperbole I just enjoy putting thoughts into words and then getting those words written down.

Writing is a cathartic exercise that clears my soul, psyche and mind...I can purge any demons and put them on paper to leave my soul in peace while I try to work through the situation that brought them to life. Sometimes I can even write down those things which bog me down and burn the written page, this allows me to fully escape that which haunts or hurts me.

Most of the time though I write for fun just because it is there and I can do it. I write about love, life, the little dog, coffee, tea, whatever tickles my fancy and then I go on from there. Life is filled with ideas and prompts from the singing birds to the dandelions to the hum of the cicadas it is all part of the universal rhythm that gives us so much to talk about and write about. This is my life, this is my muse, I find the whole of the world to be a fascinating place to write about and enjoy.

My little dog Jezzi, so many things I can say about her, she is love in action and when she gets excited her whole body wags. Jezzi is a fire ball of energy ripping from one end of the house to the other, it is like a Great Dane on the loose rather than a Chihuahua. She is an amazing little dog and I love her with all of my heart.

I had toyed with the idea of a little lap dog for a long time but really doubted that I'd get one. I didn't want to be responsible for another creature. I have the cats to take care of and they tie me down so I really just didn't want to commit to one more thing and then the puppy mill was shut down and there was this little bitty Chihuahua that had been rescued and needed a home. I never thought I'd have a Chihuahua but she came to my house, stole my heart and became our baby. She thinks that Stephanie's room is hers and she sometimes gets a little tiffy when Stephanie takes up space in "her" bed. LOL!

Jezzi can lie on the bed and look out a big window to survey her domain and keep us safe from falling leaves or one of the cats walking across the lawn. People walking into the yard don't cause alarm with her unless they commit the heresy of walking into our yard or even by it with another DOG!!!! Then the alarm sounds and we hear about it. There are dogs outside and Jezzi is on patrol acting like Rin-Tin-Tin on the case. She is so funny.

For the most part she doesn't do the "scaredy cat" little Chihuahua things but she does not like fireworks or thunder. Oh she gets so scared and for some reason she has decided that she does not like my camera that I use for taking my eBay pictures and gets spastic if I even start to unzip the case. She acts terrified about the whole thing. It is sad and annoying at the same time. I can understand the thunder and fireworks but my camera, good golly that is how I keep her in the expensive dog food she likes to eat. I don't know about all that. Jezzi is a pistol, she wasn't sought after but rather dropped in our laps and she has us wrapped around her little dew claws. She will never be part of the puppy breeding industry. The chain was broken with her and she has been spayed so there will be no more puppies from her line. We are doing our part to stop the flow of unwanted animals.

Ciao! The Darkness...

At one time in my life the darkness overwhelmed me and threatened to consume my whole being. I had suffered many major depressive episodes in the past and somehow managed to work through them but this episode had already lasted for the better part of four years and had worn me down to a nub.

I was working as a psychotherapist and had been putting in 60 to 80 hour weeks. As I became more overcome by the depression I was doing good to get into the office by 10 in the morning and was often calling in sick. My supervisor was angry with me but I was doing the best I could with what I had. I was on very high doses of antidepressants and was taking a mood stabilizer to try to create some sense of balance.

Finally I worked out a plan that might save my life and my career. I wrote a plan to go part time from full time to three quarters time and I would quit doing the emergency after hours work that I had been doing for so long. Out of a big agency I was covering the screenings 4 nights out of seven every week in addition to my regular workload, something had to change. I was about to break under the pressure.

I submitted my plan and it was rejected without any real consideration for the fact that I was so ill and that I was asking for reasonable accommodation under the Americans With Disabilities act. I had grounds for a grievance and even a law suit but I was so devastated by the denial I just literally fell apart.

The following day I tried to work but I kept crying tears of quiet rage and frustration at every turn. I could not maintain my professional demeanor once my office was free of clients. Finally after a very trying day, one of the secretaries implied that I was not working (long story but I was) and that what I was doing was not worth what the other secretaries were doing. It was too much I broke down and had right there in the mental health center the moral equivalent of a nervous breakdown. I began crying in active anger and injustice. I had taken all that I could handle at that point and was just trying to get out of the office to go home.

As I was leaving a coworker got the psychiatrist on duty to talk to me outside and he told me that he would tell my boss that I needed time off. He had seen this breakdown coming and had encouraged me to take extended time off already.

I agreed to him talking to my supervisor and then I left. The next day I went to a court hearing that I had to go to and then was off work for what I thought was a month at most.

A few days later I went to get the paperwork done under the Family Medical Leave act and was advised that I needed to clean my office out. I was devastated, clean my office out for a one month leave. I started cleaning it out, was told I had to stop because my boss needed to go get her hair done and to come back in two days to finish up. In that time my boss went through my office decided what I could take and what I could not take and then my office was empty and ten years of being a psychotherapist with that agency was over because I had fallen deeper into the pit of darkness at having my office stripped and emptied. For a one month leave I was being kicked out of the organization.

Oh yes, they paid me well on the agency disability plan and I was cared for but my life had been destroyed in my eyes. I saw myself as a psychotherapist and an integral part of the agency and now I had no identity, it had been snatched away when I was in the throes of a major depressive episode because I had dared to ask for some time off and accommodation under the federal ADA.

At home I tried to sally forth as best I could. I started selling everything I could to help make ends meet, my income had been cut by more than half. I was supporting 3 people on about 40% of the income I had while working. The depression sucked me down deeper and deeper until I became lost in the pit and couldn't find any light.

Finally, in desperation I decided to try ECT in an effort to break up the depression. I don't know how many ECT sessions I had, more than 20 but it made me psychotic and I had moments of screaming mania in the midst of this still unyielding depression. Actually the moments that seemed like mania at the time were probably agitated depression.

I lost all sense of self and boundaries. I was crazy as a loon and almost blew my brains out one dark Saturday. I don't know how I pulled myself back from the edge but I did and got myself admitted to the psychiatric hospital to protect myself from harm.

During all of this my partner Stephanie had to have an appendectomy that went bad, her incision was not healing, she had a collapsed lung, she got MRSA and I was screaming psychotic. It was a terrible time in our lives.

I suffered severe memory loss losing more than 5 years of my live and am only starting to get some of it back now 11 years after the ECT. I suffered brain damage as a result of the ECT and now have a seizure disorder. The cognitive impairment from the ECT has further disrupted my life.

Finally a full year after the ECT I started to pull out of the depressive episode even though I was still depressed, just not so mired down in the miasma of darkness. It took 2 full years for the episode to abate. All in all I suffered for the better part of seven years from a massive depressive episode.

I spent the next several years fearing that it would happen to me again. Once when I was in another major depressive episode I again considered ECT because I was so sick but just couldn't take the risk. I came out of that episode ok but I was so scared through the whole thing. I didn't want to end up where I had been before.

I am now 16 years down the pike from when that major depressive episode started. I have survived. I have lost my career, I have had to reinvent myself as a person because my career had been my identity. I had to realize that it was just a job and that I was a whole person even without that job. It was hard to do but I have finally gotten there even though sometimes it still pulls at me. You don't put everything you have into a career of 20 years and not come away with some sense of loss. It is impossible really.

I am a survivor. I live on disability benefits because besides being bi-polar I have other disabling illnesses. Despite all this I still survive and even thrive in a different life than I could ever have imagined for myself. Twelve years ago I thought my life had ended but in all reality it had just begun.

Ciao! Coffee Fever Or Is That Fervor

I find myself wanting coffee with a passion usually reserved for other activities. It can't just be the caffeine. I am an iced tea junkie and trust me I rack up the caffeine with my tea. Nay, I need coffee in a way that can only be described as intense.

Coffee satisfies a need that cannot be described in mere words, there is the joy of preparation, the aroma as my coffee is steeping, the pleasure of pushing the plunger of my french press pot and then the pouring of the coffee in my cup. As soon as my cup is filled I find myself enjoying the scent wafting forth as I bring the mug to my lips for a taste of this exotic elixir. After the first unadulterated sip I may add my customary splash of evaporated milk and then go sit with my cup as I work on my computer and enjoy the cuppa that I have fresh brewed while engaging in my professional activities. Everything is better with my coffee in hand. I am at peace working, drinking and enjoying. As I drink my coffee I enjoy the multitude of flavors that mingle on my tongue driving me to take another drink until my cup is empty.

For a little while I let my cup sit empty but it beckons me to fill it again so I go rinse out my french press, savoring the scent of the used grounds knowing that my next brewed cup will again tease my taste buds with the variety of flavors that dance through each cup of coffee that I drink. I brew another cup savoring the process and again sip the nectar of the bean and enjoy another blissful cup of coffee.

Ah yes, life is good.

Ciao! The First Morning Cup of Coffee

I am not a coffee snob but I do enjoy a tasty well brewed cup of coffee yet I must admit that that first morning cup, the one that sears my tongue and jolts me to a heightened state of awareness, can be swill if need be just to get me awake and functioning. Now I am not talking about microwaving a cup of coffee left over from the day before or heaven forbid instant, but it can be too strong and I will still drink it down to get some sense of being awake and functioning. After that first cup my taste buds get some consideration as does my sense of aesthetics. This is one reason I am glad I have a french press pot. If the first cup of coffee is "rough" I can make amends with the next cup of coffee.

My morning routine is so very set, get up, attend to bodily functions, turn on water for coffee, brush teeth, get french press pot ready to work its magic and then make that cup of coffee. After the blessed cup is brewed I drink it and feel a certain level of humanity seeping into my being, before the coffee there is this zombie like creature wandering through my house attending to the basic necessities of life.

Coffee is a wonderful gift from the Universe. It makes life more pleasant, brings us to wakefulness and helps us to move from the state of sleep to an awakened situation so that we can function through the day and get done the work and pleasure that make up our life. This is all made possible by that first morning cup of brew that gets us motivated to move on through life with a gleam in our eye.

It doesn't get much better than this.

Ciao! Ah Yes, Coffee!

For a libation allegedly discovered by a goat, coffee has a long and varied history. It has been revered and banned. Coffee is made very strong in some countries, espresso being very popular in much of Europe although the French are fond of Cafe Au Lait (half hot coffee, half hot milk), a particular favorite of mine.

There are creamy and spicy additions to coffee around the world, then there are the iced coffee drinks, the mochas and the lattes that have found favor in cafes world wide and in the United States. It seems that there is a coffee brew or mix to satisfy almost any palate.

Yet, there are those who do not drink coffee, I wonder at how they muddle through without a daily java to add a little extra punch to their lives and taste buds. It is a mystery to me.

I know that there are those who prefer to get their caffeine through tea, soda and energy drinks. There are also those who do not imbibe in caffeine at all but I truly cannot fathom those who miss the joy of coffee brightening their day and bringing extra oomph to their being.

As I sit here with my french pressed cup of Mocha Java I enjoy the kick that coffee brings me both through the taste and mouth feel as well as the caffeine coursing though my veins. Welcome coffee, my being is saying, welcome indeed. This is the nectar of the gods and I am glad to have my cuppa to enjoy on this beautiful day.

Ah yes, coffee indeed!


Car Polish or Not...

I have been visiting restaurants and coffee shops testing out the coffee just to see how good it is or isn't. I can tell you that there is surprisingly delicious coffee at unusual spots, pizza joints (locally owned not chains), a few bars that actually do serve coffee and not just "ethyl" to sober up their customers and a local gas station that always has a pot ready for their customers to enjoy. These were pleasant encounters.

I was equally dismayed to find that many breakfast chains, dine in restaurants and fast food have some of the poorest quality coffee I have consumed, and let me tell you I have had some nasty coffee in my life. Last night I was at a national breakfast specialty chain restaurant that advertises its coffee. Well, let me tell you that what I got was car polish or worse. I asked for a cup of coffee from a fresh brewed pot after the first cup of swill and received one that was equally as bad and I did see that it was from a fresh pot. I was totally dismayed. I have drunk many a pot of coffee from this chain but I think I will be sticking with ice water from now on. I don't know who their new coffee supplier is but they need to go back to the old one post haste. I did let my unpleasant coffee experience be known to the manager but I think she thought I was just a crank. Too bad because I have been a good customer there since the 70s. I don't know when I will be back.

I avoided Starbucks in my coffee quest because so many people review Starbucks and because quite frankly, they have contributed to the demise of so many local coffee shops that I try to avoid them as much as possible although I do have to have a Mocha Latte on occasion. Yum! I admit it I am an addict!

I did go to a local bakery that has a pleasant coffee bar in it. I had Cafe Au Lait to my hearts content. This was nicely paired with a dark chocolate torte for an experience that was truly amazing.

I suggest that wherever you go for a meal or a snack that you try the coffee Wendy's may pleasantly surprise you as may the local grocery store. You may feel disappointed at a chain coffee specialty shop but you may be well rewarded at the place were you get your oil changed. Just watch out for coffee that tastes like it would take the rust off of a bumper and complain if you get it. You will be doing us all a favor.

Ciao! Candied Coffee...

Hi, my name is Ardee-ann and I like "candied coffee." I admit that when General Foods came out with International Coffees I bought one of every flavor. They were delish. I was young then, devil may care and was enamored of the fanciful nature of the tasty instant coffees that lured my taste buds to distant locales and made me feel totally bon vivant!

I settled in quickly on the Cafe Francais and Cafe Suisse Mocha as my favorites. Other flavors have come and gone, by the way GF you have ruined the Cafe Vienna. It used to be lovely but when you changed the formula you ruined its subtle essence.

I realize that in admitting that I enjoy "candied coffee" I may destroy any credibility I have in the world of the "real" coffee drinkers but I would only drink one or two cups of these coffees in an evening filled with cups of other coffee that were not gussied up with creamer and sugar. I would drink fine Columbian which in Little Rock, Arkansas back in the early 80s was just about as unique as you could get at your local grocery store.

There were some specialty shops that we would go to and buy some exotic brews to drink now and again but really back in the day I began my addiction to the sweet drink that still lures me away at times and probably keeps me addicted to Starbucks Mocha Lattes. I just like that sweet kick now and again.

I only have the flavored instant coffees as a rare "treat" so to speak but some days despite the allure of my beloved french press I find myself enjoying a cup of General Foods International Coffees and remembering when they seemed so exotic, exciting and new. I was so young then and had such an underdeveloped palate.


Coffee or Tea????

I have been in "merry olde England" for the past two weeks...not literally, darn it, but rather I have been watching movies such as "Pride and Prejudice,""Rebecca," "Mansfield Park" and "Jane Eyre," for example. Let me tell you I have seen a lot of tea drinking from fine bone china sets in these movies. The cups have been dainty and lovely. I am sure they do well for a delicate brew such as tea but I kept wanting to tell the fine ladies and gentlemen to get a hefty mug of coffee and enjoy it. The drink can be just as civilized and provides a lot more body to the brew.

Watching all that ritualized tea drinking made me want to brew up some stout coffee, pour it into thick "diner style" coffee cups and quaff it with impunity. I wouldn't have to worry about burning my tongue or palate in such a case, I could just enjoy the brew heartily and without concern. Doesn't that sound wonderful...fresh brewed coffee to be chugged down immediately before the "bloom is off the rose" so to speak.

If you ever find yourself in the company of too many tea sippers even on the television screen, do yourself a favor ~ brew a pot of coffee and enjoy a cup of joe. You will be glad you did and your taste buds will thank you for satisfying them with some coffee.

I am not discounting the joys of tea drinking and the ceremony that can be involved at all. I am just saying that while tea drinking has its place in the world but so does a well brewed cup of coffee and sometimes coffee can provide a bit more character to your cup than tea can.

Ciao! Upsetting the Apple Cart!

I am a coffee drinker and have been since an early age but it is only in recent years that I have come to fully appreciate a cup of coffee in its purest stage, black coffee. When I was much, much younger my primary association with black coffee was when I'd go hunting with my father. He'd bring along a thermos filled with black swill that he called coffee and if you were cold, and trust me you would be, you would drink some of this "coffee" so that your innards wouldn't freeze like your nose, toes and fingers were. It was a vile brew as he would percolate a huge church sized pot of coffee as soon as we arrived at our cabin (real cabin...not a house, lodge or cottage...a cabin), then he would keep it hot all day and reheat it every morning while we were there. Ahem, this stuff got stout after a day or so, yes indeed.

As this was my introduction to black coffee, it is no wonder that for years I turned my coffee into a confection by adding a great deal of sugar and creamer to my cup. I wanted the "taste" of coffee but I didn't want it to reach out and choke the life out of me the way some of that hunting era coffee tried to do. I still on occasion enjoy coffee heavy on the creamer and sugar and prefer to make my instant hot cocoa with fresh brewed coffee. It makes an easy quick mocha.

I realize that by admitting that I still enjoy coffee with "additives" beyond some Irish Whiskey that I am destroying my "street cred" as a writer about coffee but I do not profess to be a coffee tasting professional nor even a connoisseur of the bean. I am just a woman who likes coffee and who sometimes gussies it up even if this does upset the apple cart among the die hard coffee drinkers who read my column.

I proudly brandish my slightly whitened coffee (evaporated milk don't you know) and smile as I drink my adulterated brew with impunity.

Ciao! Hello Celebes Kolassi ~ WOWZER!

I am a fan of dark roasted coffees...they make me tingle with delight. They have such body, strength plus an ability to stand up and make you pay attention when you drink them. Dark roasted coffee is, in my very humble opinion, the kind of coffee that makes coffee drinking worthwhile.

I have been drinking Celebes Kolassi for a while. I am on my second pound of it so I am no stranger to this earthy, smoky Indonesian brew, however at the recommendation of a friend I made my brew a little stronger. I put three scoops of Celebes Kolassi in my French press pot instead of my normal 1 1/2. I should have been prepared. Hello, now this was a cup of stout and I mean STOUT coffee. It slapped me in the face and got my attention.

I drank the first two sips black and then chickened out by adding some evaporated milk and two cubes of sugar to my coffee. I was able to drink it but knew that I would not be making a three scoop pot of Celebes Kolassi again. Wowzer!

I immediately, okay 30 minutes later, made another pot with just a tad over 2 scoops of Celebes Kolassi in the pot and this one had the attention getting factor my friend had described and was very smooth, sassy and rich. I did add a little evaporated milk but that was just because I like the way it adds a hint of caramel to the complex flavor.

I am sold on making my Celebes Kolassi a bit stronger than I had been making it. The flavor is more intense but oh so very satisfying. My mouth is still filled with joy and it has been almost an hour since I completed my second cup of coffee, so you have to know this was a happy experience.

I think my lesson is to mix things up a bit when you are brewing coffee...does it need to be a little stronger, do you need to cut back just a bit on the amount of coffee you are brewing or have you perfected the brew to your satisfaction? I think we can all play with our coffee and find a new level of intensity in our cup. As for me I may never try three scoops of Celebes Kolassi again but if I do I will be ready for it to make me snap to attention and not take a single drop for granted.

Enjoy your coffee!

Ciao! Coffee Notes

Coffee Notes

I have been writing about coffee for several weeks now. I think that we have established that I like coffee, that I think it should be the national drink and that everyone should celebrate coffee. I don't think that you have to be a coffee connoisseur to enjoy a good cup of coffee or know for a fact that you don't like a cup of coffee. You can stand proudly and say, "I put cream(er) and sugar" in my coffee and not be embarrassed. You can drink your coffee black so you can fully appreciate the nuance of every little flavor but you don't have to be smug about it.

We can all agree that Starbucks has left an indelible mark on the coffee business but is not the be all and end all with regard to coffee. Most of us are sad to say that Maxwell House is no longer, "good to the last drop." (We grew up believing that and find it sad to let go of our preconceived notions.)

Coffee has been celebrated and reviled by different cultures at different times. Some of my fellow bloggers have told us the history of coffee and broadened our knowledge base about this sweet nectar we love to drink.

I know that as a "coffee junkie" I enjoy having a great cuppa joe and as I have said earlier, really enjoy finding it in the most unusual places. When the local pizza place can beat the tar out of Starbucks with its cup of coffee you know you have found a treasure to savor.

Recently I have heard about "weight reduction" coffee. I don't know what it has in it to cause "weight reduction" but I do know that whenever I am hungry a cup of the brew will stem the tide of my appetite for several hours and keep me from eating. I wonder if the people drinking "weight reduction" coffee have just tried a cup of Columbian to see if for a cheaper price they can lose weight and save money. I am not saying they will but I do wonder about such things.

As I said before, I am no coffee expert but I love coffee and I enjoy writing about it. The experience of coffee, preferably with some cherry pie, it the key to me. I don't have to know about essences and citrus-y notes. I am just happy when it doesn't taste like car polish.


Writing is a painful process at times but the end result can bring such joy! James/Edward is very unhappy with me, you see his name is really Edward. I was celebrating the fact that as I was getting ready to write his story that his name was not Edmund because I did not want anyone to think I was copying off of another vampire story as I am not, my story started in 1968...literally...this is not just the date for the novel but I met James/Edward in 1968. So, I seriously predate a certain nouveau vampire novel.

Anyway, I was telling my roommate that James Edward insist that I write his story and that I was glad his name wasn't really Edmund like the "new" vampire story. To my dismay she told me that the current vampire heartthrob is named Edward not Edmund. I was crushed as I certainly have no desire to be confused in the world of vampires and I do not want anyone to think that I am copying my precious vampire guardian off of a teen "heart throb" vampire, so I decided to call Edward, James. It is a nice has a similar feel and Edward hates it with a passion. It is not a good think to mess with a vampire, even one you have known and loved for 42 years but I had to hold firm. I could not use his real name and I wasn't going to make up some convoluted name. James is a nice name and so, Edward will be James in my story whether he likes it or not.

Edward had been off pouting quite a bit. It is amazing that a 200 or so year old vampire can pout but he can be quite petulant. I think it is a male thing. However, James is how I will refer to him and he will get over it with time. I hope. Welcome to the world of living with and loving a vampire.


It was a sticky summer evening. My fan was blowing on me in an attempt to stir the air and assist me in sleeping in the humid conditions. Suddenly I was aware that there was a man in my room staring at me. I was frightened, horrified even, I opened my mouth to scream and now sound would come out. I tried again and still there was no scream escaping only a weak sound of terror.

I started crying hysterically and pulled my top sheet over my head. I hoped that it would offer some modicum of protection.

After what seemed to be hours, I looked out again and he was gone. I got up, turned on my light and made sure that the attic door was closed. My bedroom, bathroom and the attic covered the entire top floor of our house. The attic door was at the back of my closet and I tried to make sure it was always closed even though my closet door was often left open. I had felt a presence in the attic and I did not want it to come into my room without me being aware of its comings and goings. As I checked, I noted that the attic door was closed. I closed my closet door, went back to bed and slept fitfully until my mother called me for breakfast.

"Mama," I whispered as I came down for breakfast,"there was a man in my room last night." She looked at me with scorn and disbelief.

"You must have been dreaming," she said hurridly, as she prepared breakfast.

"Mama, I wasn't dreaming, there was a man in my room. I tried to scream for you but no sound came from my throat. I was so scared."

"Sassy Ann, you have a vivid imagination. There was no man in your room, it was a dream, go eat your eggs and get ready for school. I don't have time for this nonsense. We have things to do."

I went to the table with tears dancing in my eyes. I didn't know what to say or do. I knew that there had been a man in my room and I didn't know how to make mama believe me. I knew that I was on my own in dealing with him whoever he might be.

At school that day I was in a quandary, I didn't know whether to talk to any of my friends about this strange "visitor" or if I should just keep it to myself. I would have to wait to see if he showed up again so that I could learn more about him.

That night I sat up in my bed until I could not stay awake any longer. There had been no sign of the stranger and I began to wonder if it had been a dream like mama had said. I just didn't know. It all seemed so real.

A few weeks later I woke up feeling hot and sticky from the humidity. There he was, standing just a few feet from my bed, staring at me. I wanted to scream but knew that it would do no good. Just as quickly as I had seen him, he was gone. I didn't know what to think. I began to wonder with his rapid and strange comings and goings at night, if he might be a vampire. He didn't look like Barnabas Collins from what I could tell and I hoped it wasn't him. Barnabas gave me the creeps and I didn't like him one bit.

The next day at school I talked to Gloria, one of my friends about him. "Gloria, I said,"I am not sure but I think that there is a vampire that has been to my house."

Gloria got all excited, "A vampire, really, what has happened? Did he bite you on the neck? Do you think it is Barnabas?"

I told her what had happened, that I hoped it wasn't Barnabas, told her I had not been bitten on the neck and showed her my neck to prove it, then I asked her not to tell anyone. I didn't have many friends at that school and I didn't want people making fun of me.

Gloria swore not to tell anyone but made me promise to tell her if anything else happened with the vampire. I told her that I would because I certainly didn't have anyone else I could talk to about it.

The rest of the day I wondered who my strange visitor was. It certainly perplexed me because there really wasn't any way to easily get into my room and our doors were looked tight every night. It was a mystery to me.

A few nights later he was back, this time I was able to talk to him. I hadn't gone to sleep yet and I saw him sitting in my desk chair looking at me. "Who are you,"I asked, timidly.

"My name is James,"he responded.

"Are you a vampire," I inquired.

"Yes, I am but don't worry, I am not going to hurt you," he said kindly.

"Why are you here," I queried.

"Because you need someone to care for you and look out for you. You need a friend," he answered quietly.

I started to cry. If every anyone did need a friend it was me at this time in my life. In less than a year I had been to three different schools, we had moved from Louisiana to Arkansas and I was thrown into total culture shock. At my school in Louisiana we played marbles and Barbie dolls during recess. Here in Arkansas there were girls in my sixth grade class that were talking about smoking, french kissing and making out. One girl was making out with her step-dad and another was having sex with her mom's boyfriend while her mom worked at the Toddle House on the late night shift. She was afraid of getting pregnant.

It was hard to make friends at school and things at home were not very good. My daddy was having to work a lot of long hours, he and mom fought a lot, it was very stressful. My little sister was a suck up and got her way with mom and dad while frankly I was a little hot head who would tell them off if they got in my face about homework or working around the house.

I didn't mind helping around the house but nothing I ever did was right, my mother was constantly harping at me about how I did things, including how I folded the towels for heaven's sake. I got tired of listening to her constant griping. I finally would tell her that if she didn't like the way I did it she could do it herself. Of course, this would get the snot slapped out of me. Being slapped did not make me want to be any easier to get along with, in fact, I was often more surly.

My sister on the other hand would change the subject when mom was griping at her, make her laugh and my sister, Donna Kaye would get by with anything. Mom never made her redo anything she did and I can assure you she didn't even work as hard at things as I did. It made me so mad that I could scarcely stand it. In fact, writing about it now makes me angry.

My mother knew that dad was stressed out from all the hours he was working but when he'd get home she'd get him all jacked up about what a terrible daughter I was and he would whip me with a belt. I hadn't done anything to deserve their abuse. They were just two unhappy people and I was a scapegoat for them to vent their frustrations on. It was a difficult time.

Then there was this man, named James who told me he was a vampire and that he wanted to watch out for me. I wanted him to make me a vampire too so that I could get away from the living hell I was experiencing.

As I talked to James that night I realized that he wasn't going to "bite my neck" and he wasn't going to take me away to be one of his "brides" but that he would come to visit me and let me talk to him about everything that was going on. At last, someone who I could talk to who seemed to really understand what was going on and who cared about how I felt. I was so grateful I didn't know what to think. As I told him thank you, James walked across the room, kissed me on the forehead like an uncle might do and then told me goodbye. Then he was gone. It was a little creepy how he could come and go like that but I wasn't going to complain. I finally had a real friend. James Edward Part Two

I told my friend Gloria about James, she was almost as excited as I was, she really wanted it to be Barnabas Collins who was visiting me. I told her I was glad it wasn't. A few weeks later Gloria was able to come by after school. Once we ditched my little sister Donna Kaye, we went looking in the attic to see if we could find James' coffin. I just knew it had to be in there but it wasn't and if it was we couldn't find it. We were very disappointed. I had looked several times by myself for it but hadn't found it. I had hoped that with Gloria's help I would locate it. This was a big attic after all.

We decided that since so many houses in the neighborhood had attics and basements that he must have his coffin nearby. We sure wanted to go check out everybody's houses. We were very curious.

Gloria did really good. She didn't tell anyone about James. She was new at the school too and figured we'd both be ridiculed if we told our school mates about James. We just talked in code about "Dark Shadows" and vampires. We giggled a lot because we knew what we were talking about but everyone else just thought we were talking about the television show.

James came to visit me on a regular basis after we first talked. He was amused that I was on the hunt for his coffin. James told me that his coffin was not in my attic and that even if it was I didn't need to be looking at him while he slept. I mentioned to him that he looked at me while I slept and he told me that I didn't have blood on my mouth, face or clothes. He said he tried to be neat but that sometimes blood did get on him and he didn't always change before getting in his coffin.

I tried to look nonchalant when James talked to me about the blood but it did kind of freak me out. I mean I knew he was a vampire but the blood talk made it even more real. I asked him to please never come to my house with blood on him. James said he would try not to.

James listened to me talk about problems at home and school. I was labeled a trouble maker at school because I hung out with some of the "fast" girls but they were the only people who would really talk to me at recess time besides Gloria. I admit I was also fascinated about girls my age having sex. I mean we were only in the sixth grade. It was very strange to me.

Because the teachers acted like I was trouble I became trouble, I decided to give them something to complain about. This, of course, got me in more trouble at home but I was in full blown rebel mode by this time. I was sick and tired of people being in my face and so my response was to fight back. If they wanted to be a pain in my butt I could dish it right back at them. This did not endear me to my teachers, the principal or my parents but by that time I didn't care. I was getting grounded, slapped around and punished for things that I didn't do so I decided to quit trying to be a "good girl" and give everyone their money's worth. I did a darn fine job of it too.

James tried to help me to back down and not fight so hard. He listened to me cry and he gave me lots of positive feedback about how smart I was and how much I could achieve if I would just let myself. James never put me down. He did get a little testy with me at times because I could be trying but he never got ugly with me. I could trust him with my thoughts and feelings.

I managed to stay out of trouble long enough once that I could have Gloria come spend the night with me. We tried to stay up all night so she could meet James. He didn't show while we were awake but he told me later that he did stop by to check on me after we went to sleep. James told me he didn't mind me telling Gloria about him but he didn't want to meet her. He said he didn't trust her completely. James said that he had watched Gloria and caught her in lies. He urged me to be careful about her but didn't try to keep me from being friends with her.

After several horrible months the sixth grade was finally over. I had never been so miserable in my entire life. I learned about suicide in the sixth grade and if I hadn't had James in my life I might would have attempted or committed suicide. I was that unhappy. It was a horrible year and still remains the worst year I can ever remember in my entire life.


When I started seventh grade I was sent to a totally different school and only one kid from my sixth grade class even went to the new school. Gloria moved away during the summer and I didn't even get to see her to get her new phone number or address. I just hoped that I could make some new friends in junior high.

I can say that a new school led to a whole new perspective in life. I had great teachers who seemed to like me. I still had trouble making friends but it wasn't as bad as it had been in sixth grade. We changed classes every period and so there were seven opportunities throughout the day to make friends. It was so great.

My dad's work schedule settled down and things were better at home. I was doing better in school so everything was much calmer, happier and more relaxed. It was just better all the way around. My sister Donna Kaye was still a whiny little pain but besides that, life was good.

James continued to visit me regularly. He was so supportive and very happy for me that life was going better. James enjoyed my stories about school with its football games and other activities. I was a hall and office monitor. I volunteered in the school library and even though I still struggled with peer relationships I was well accepted by teachers and staff at the school. James listened attentively to me as I babbled on to him about everything.

I had a crush on my math teacher, but he was newly married and didn't notice the attentions of a love starved thirteen year old. It was probably just as well that he didn't because as James said, it wasn't good for teachers and students to be involved. James reminded me that he was married too. So I tried to keep that in mind.

I was beginning to develop sexually, not just budding breasts and starting my hormones went into overdrive. I was horny and wanted to have a boyfriend so that I could make out. I was coming of age and it was painfully evident to me and to James. I didn't have anyone else to talk to about these feelings but James tried to help me to channel all that sexual energy into some of my school work and I did much better in school than I had the previous year. Besides my math teacher I swooned over some of the football and basketball players. I had some boys notice my highly charged sexual nature but they were not nice boys and I was not going to take any chances. I knew that bad boys could get a girl in trouble and I wasn't going down that path. James gave me a lot of support of avoiding these "near occasions" of sin. I will always be grateful for that loyalty that James showed me.



The eighth grade in some ways was even better than the seventh grade...not only did I have the attention of James who still watched over me and provided encouragement and support but I was attracting boys like crazy, I thing my pheromones were doing their job overtime. We had a building with lots of access to open spaces outside. I was often making out with boys right in front of the school but no one could see me. I went into the boys bathroom to make out and never got caught.

One of my biggest coups was my physical science teacher, now at that time in my life, physical science was not my cuppa tea so I didn't really pay attention in class but Mr. Mitchellson was paying attention to my budding breasts and the fact that I would "accidentally" rub his penis as I walked by. I had learned the year before the men think with their dicks and not their brains. I have found this lesson to be helpful throughout my life.

After a day of me being particularly challenging in class and not really paying attention Mr. Mitchellson told me to stay after class. It was his free period. I took control and he never knew what hit him.

I went into the storage room by his desk and motioned for him to follow. Before he had the door closed good my baby breasts were exposed and his mouth was hungrily nibbling at them. While his hands and mouth were busy on my tits, I was caressing his member until it was about ready to explode.

He wanted to take me fully but there was no way I was going to let that happen. I was a virgin and planned to stay that way until I was ready for being made love to the right way, not in some hot storage room. I did help him to "get off" in a towel in the storage room and we developed an understanding that involved certain favors he would receive as long as my grades were decent. I wouldn't be too outrageous in class but he wasn't to expect me to sit there and be quiet. The deal was sealed with allowing him to explore my womanhood. When he finished he put his finger in his mouth and said something about ambrosia. I knew I had him in my trap.

I had the head football coach in my snare too. I didn't have any classes with him as the teacher but he administered "licks" as punishment for students who acted out. I got my licks alright and I ran the leather paddle in my woman place so he could "visit" me any time. I don't know where I learned to used sex as a tool and a weapon but I only know that I was effective in doing so. My mother certainly was no vixen, nor were any of my female relatives. "Sabrina" was about the sexiest movie I had ever seen at that time so even though I picked up some tips from Audrey Hepburn in that movie I didn't learn about tits, stroking penises and using the flower of my womanhood along with its nectar to bring men to submission but at the age of 14 I was heady with the power I had obtained.

I don't know how but somehow James found out what I was up to. I don't know if he was feeding off of someone who knew me from school or if he had some kind of psychic powers he hadn't fully shared with me but he was irate and there was no talking my way out of how angry he was with me for using sex as a toy. James talked to me about how love making was precious and reserved for committed relationships not just a way to control the males around me.

After he finished his lecture, I looked him in the eye and said, "Feed from me. Make me yours."

James was taken aback. I think somewhere in the back of his mind he was infatuated with me and wanted to hold me but he knew that I was 14 years old and that I wasn't as mature as I thought I was. He said no, that he wouldn't feed from me, that I wasn't old enough, nor was I ready for the intensity involved.

I knew I had him where I wanted him. James would be mine. He might be about 200 years old and he would outlive me because he had already told me that he would not make me a "bride," but I loved him. I had loved him from almost the very beginning. My woman parts were throbbing with love and lust. I needed him to feed from me and to make me his completely.

"James," I told him, " I need to be loved and made love to. I need you to feed from me. I want you to leave your mark on me so that I will forever belong to you. No matter who comes later, I will have always been yours first. I am coming of age sexually and sometimes soon there will be a boy who will convince me to sleep with him. I want my first time to be with you. The man who loves me and who will love me long after I am gone."

James looked at me with his deep brown eyes, it was like they were engulfing me completely and making me fully a part of him. "May I take off your nightshirt," he said huskily. I nodded my assent. James looked at me fully as if seeing me for the first time. He ran his hands over my baby breasts, then picked me up and carried me over to my bed. As I lay there, almost scared, for a moment I found myself gently moving my hair away from my neck as if I knew what would come next. I was a bit afraid but this was what I wanted to be fully consumed by this man that I loved.

Before disrobing James helped me into a sitting position with him holding me close, I could feel the material of his suit on my skin, I could feel his breath on my next and as he held me I could feel his hesitation to take this next step but at the same time my intuition told me that he was ready, more than ready to make me his. Carefully he put his mouth on my neck and then with a pinch that caught me a bit off guard his incisors went deep into my jugular and he was preparing to feed from me. I could sense a sweet ecstasy overtaking me. I felt fulfilled as a woman just from this man's bite on my throat. I never wanted this moment to end, we were perfectly in sync...he was my master and i was his willing slave. I belonged totally to him and from that moment always would, no matter what else might transpire in my life.

Slowly he removed his fangs from me and drank deeply of my blood. Then as he held his mouth over my neck his tongue ran smoothly over the bite mark totally removing any evidence that he had fed from me. It was a sensual sensation as his tongue danced across my neck.

Then he carefully laid me back in my bed and covered me with my sheet. I reached out to him fearing that now that he had fed that he would leave me fulfilled in one way but not in another. James leaned over, kissed me and said, "Just a moment."

He then began to undress, from my bed I watched him waiting to see more of him, hungrily drinking him up with my eyes. I was astounded at just how white his but was and yet at the same time not totally surprised after all, his is a vampire.

Then I saw his manhood and noticed how large it seemed compared to how small my vagina felt, sometimes a tampon felt tight and James' penis was much larger than a Tampex. I decided to let go of fear. This man was going to make love to me and I to him as best I could. I shivered with anticipation.

James climbed slowly into the bed with me. I could feel his cool skin against my hot, parched feeling flesh. "I am not really alive," he reminded me, "I am one of the undead. I will feel cool, maybe even cold to you but that does not mean that there is not passion flowing through me." He kissed me and then added, "I want you to just lie back and let me make love to you this time. As it feels right you can touch me, hold me or caress me but don't feel pressured to do things right. Let me take the lead and fulfill you tonight."

With that James kissed me deeply, I could feel his tongue probing my mouth, I could taste my blood, I pulled him to me hungrily. As the kiss ended James began kissing me down my neck until he came to my nascent breasts, as he nibbled on a nipple and then drew it into his mouth I thought I was going to come undone, I had never imagined a man suckling at my breast, all of the sudden I also realized that I was totally clueless to the sex act, would be be like dogs when we did this. I did not know, I was woefully unprepared for this and beginning to feel ashamed of my lack of knowledge and my body.

James looked up, he had sensed the shift in my feelings. "Do you want me to stop," he asked. "No, please no," as sob tore through me,"I just don't know what to do." He came up and kissed me gently, let me worry about what we are going to do. You just let me make sweet love to you." With that he began to trace a line from my budding breasts to my womanhood and with a quick flicker of his tongue he brought me to the precipice of a pleasure so exquisite that it was almost painful.

James gently pried my legs apart and buried his face into my woman space in such a way that I thought I was going to die from sheer pleasure. As he moved his tongue within me one hand moved up and caressed my breast bringing my nipple to a rippled point. I had never known that such delight had awaited me. This was more than I had ever bargained for. James was pleasuring me, not just groping around with his hands on my breasts and in my vagina while having me jerk him off, I was being made love to by a master.

After several minutes of nibbling my soft, slick place James came up, kissed me and said, "If you are ready I will enter you with my penis. If not we can stop now." I could feel his engorged penis on my thigh I wanted nothing more than to feel it deep within me.

"Please, don't stop,"I said, "just let me know what to do."

He caressed my hair, "Tilt your pelvis upward. I will be careful as I enter you. It seems that you have a very small vaginal area."

I blushed with embarrassment, I didn't know if this was good or bad but I knew it was different. I tilted my pelvis upward as much as I could. I felt James guiding his penis into my vagina, at first it was very uncomfortable. I didn't know how it was going to fit and then all of the sudden it was as if my vagina was sucking him in and we were fitted together snugly. Instinctively I wrapped my legs around James' waist and could feel him stroking inside me, in and out there was a rhythm to our coupling. I could feel as his movement became more frantic and when he became stiff, hovering over me for just a minute, I knew he had come inside me. I held him tight with my legs.

"Rest on me for a moment, I am not ready to let you pull out just yet."

James acquiesced to my request and then there was a full communion of body and soul, James felt it too as my essence completely commingled with his. Up on his elbows he looked at me with surprise, "What did you just do, He asked.

"I shared myself fully with you," I responded,"I don't know how I knew to do this but it is a gift I have. Did you like it?"

"I loved it,"he answered,"that has never happened with me when I have made love to any other woman in all my years and here I am with a 14 ear old virgin and I am gifted with a feeling that I don't know how it can ever be matched. You are a marvel."

As he pulled his sticky penis from my vagina, James kissed me deeply. He then went into the bathroom to wash off, came to my bed, asked me how I was and we talked for a while.

I was fine, more than fine even and I loved lying in my bed feeling James next to me as I was in the in the afterglow of lovemaking. It was more than I could have ever imagined.

"You may be sore for a couple of days," he told me, "but it shouldn't be bad. It is not unusual for a woman to not have an orgasm the first time she has sex, so don't worry about that."

We talked a little longer. He then advised me that he had to get ready to leave. As he dressed I went to the bathroom to tinkle. As I wiped I noticed semen on the toilet paper and wondered how long that would come out of me and how much there was in there. I didn't feel that I could ask James about this. I decided I would figure it out as I went along.

When James was dressed, he kissed me again, I could taste my sex mingled with my blood. I realized I had forgotten to look in the mirror to see if I had the "mark" of the vampire on me. I reach up to feel.

"There is nothing there," James stated, "that is just something for movies and television. Rest assured, I have fed from you, made love to you and in some ways now own you. I love you my little dove. I will always watch over you and care for you."

Then with one quick kiss to the forehead he was gone. I had no doubts he had made love to me. My woman parts were throbbing but in a good way. I did kind of wish I had a bite mark on my neck but my mother would ask questions and really, I was not about to explain my James to her.

That night I slept so very well, fulfilled in a way that I had never dreamed possible before. The next day I woke early before my mother called for me. I wanted to see if there was a mark on my neck. Alas, there was not but I could tell by the feelings in my womanhood that I had been enjoyed by a man and could still feel the passion throbbing within.

I showered and paid special attention to cleaning the stickiness I felt in my woman parts. As I dried my hair I relieved the wonders of the night before.

I ate breakfast quickly so that I could leave for school as soon as possible. There was no one that I would be able to tell about my affair with James but I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and memories.

As soon as I was around the corner I lit a Salem and smoked deeply as I contemplated the wonders of being loved by a man like James. I knew that I could not cheapen our love by allowing other men and boys to paw at me. I would hold off and reserve myself only for the man who had truly made me a woman.

During school that day I found myself daydreaming and was called to task in my Spanish class for not paying attention. I was still to enthralled to be embarrassed at being caught lollygagging in class.

Once I was home again, I helped with housework and dinner, eager to make my escape to my room, waiting for the darkness and bedtime, hopeful that James would come back and make love to me again. Alas, he did not visit and I cried deeply into my pillow. I knew that I would never be the only person or the only woman in James' life but I wanted to possess him fully as he had me just the evening before.

Several days passed as if in a dream, I went to school, cared for my siblings, did housework and homework, all the while thinking of James and wishing that he would return to claim me as his. I missed his visits even if he didn't make love to me, I just wanted to see him.

Finally one night in June he returned, I awoke from a sound sleep to see him gazing at me. I held out my arms for him to come to me and he did. James moved my long hair away from my neck and fed deeply of my blood. I enjoyed the nick as his fangs pierced my neck and the feeling as he sucked the blood from me.

After he fed, James kissed me deeply and I enjoyed again the taste of my blood on his lips. He possessed me completely and with a certain surety he knew it without me having to say a word about same. When we finished kissing we talked, I had so much to tell him as he had been gone for so long. I told him of getting ready to go on vacation and then told him that I was going to be forced to go to an all girls high school. He laughed at my dismay about the school and encouraged me to enjoy my vacation to the fullest.

Finally, I asked him if we were going to make love. Quietly he told me no and that we would have to wait for another time. James then advised me that he would be gone for several months to a year to attend to business elsewhere. He assured me that when he returned he would come to me but I was afraid I was getting the brush off. Here I was totally in love with him and he was leaving for a long period of time. I was heartbroken and told him so through injured tears.

James held me close and reminded me that I was very special to him and that he would never abandon me. I had to take him at his word as I had no choice but to do so.

We kissed and engaged in some light petting although I did rub my hand over his crotch more than once. After the third time he got up and sat in a chair away from me for the rest of our visit. I decided he was serious about not making love that night but I had done my best to seduce him, using all the wiles that a fourteen year old girl can muster up.

He finally kissed me goodbye and I went to sit by a window to smoke. I didn't usually smoke in the house because I didn't want to get caught but I needed to clear my head and process through the fact that James was going to be gone for a long while. It was a difficult pill to swallow. I loved him and needed him but what choice did I have. He was gone and I was alone again even though he did promise to return at some time. Totally Flummoxed

Totally Flummoxed!

Chapter 1

11:59 October 31st

Will November 1st ever arrive...Yahoo, it is here!!!

12:01 November 1st

It's NaNoWrimo time...finally it is here. I can start work on my novel, the only problem is that I am

totally flummoxed as to what I am going to write about. I guess I will start my day with sending

NaNoWrimo announcements on Facebook and Twitter. That is a good time killer and will help me

really start to cement my ideas in my head. Whew, I am going to have to write 50,000 words in one

month to create this novel/novella and I just hope that I have the “chops” to do it with. I mean that's a

lot of words to write in 30 days. Can I do it? Well, I will never get it done if I just sit here and babble

about it so I guess that I better get my fanny in gear and start writing, after the side trips to Facebook

and Twitter, of course!

Well, I am back. I have been to Facebook where one of my Facebook friends reminded me that I

wouldn't get my novel written if I was fooling around on Facebook. I know that, the same for Twitter

but I have been anxiously waiting for NaNoWriMo to arrive, it is after all National Novel Writing

Month and it only comes around once a year. I have to get my head in gear and start writing my novel

instead of just blogging about it. I may be “Delightfully Loquacious” but that isn't getting the novel



Chapter 2

Nickie Joan was concerned, she didn't know what was going to happen with her grandmother. She had

just found out that her beloved Meema Iris had lung cancer and that she was going to have surgery in

two days. Her grandmother had been admitted to the hospital and Nickie knew that as soon as she

could get off of work she would be at the hospital by her grandmother's side. Nickie's eight hour shift seemed to drag on forever, she didn't really interact with her co-workers, she

smoked her Salem cigarettes and wished that the time would go by more quickly. Nickie felt trapped

like a rat as she answered the phones, took messages for customers and relayed calls as quickly as she


Finally her shift was completed. Nickie went to the house she shared with her grandmother, got some

clothes to wear to work the next day and something to sleep in. She gathered some personal hygiene

products, fed the dog and was back out the door in less than 15 minutes. Nickie drove as fast as she

could to the hospital wondering all the while how bad her Meema's cancer was and how the surgery

would go. As she drove she smoked, thought briefly about the fact that she really needed to quit

smoking and realized that she would deal with that another time. Right now she needed to focus on her


Nickie got to the hospital, parked in the deck and entered via the night entrance. She took the elevator

to the third floor, spoke briefly with her grandmother's nurse and then slipped into her room. Meema

Iris was asleep and snoring softly as Nickie watched her with tears in her eyes. Her Meema looked so

fragile hooked up to all of the IV's and monitors. Nickie wanted to hold her hand or hug her but did not

wish to disturb her sleep so she quietly changed into her nightshirt and then snuggled into the lounge

chair with a blanket and a pillow. Nickie felt compelled to be there in the morning with the doctors

made their rounds. She had to know everything that was going on with her dearest Meema.

Chapter 3

It is still November 1st and I am as confused about what I am going to write as I was when I started. I began writing a story about my grandmother but I don't want to write a sad story again this year. Every time I start to edit my story from last year I begin to cry because it is so sad and heartrending. I want to write a story that is fun, witty and spontaneous. I want it to encourage others to not only read but to write themselves for the sheer joy of writing and reading. There is so much benefit to reading the stories that others have written because they broaden our world internally and externally while in writing we let go of information, thoughts and ideas that have been mulling around in our heads and expand our worlds in a whole different way.

I think I need a vacation. I would like to be away for a few days and see if that helps to broaden my perspective so that I can write my story and not just be focused on heartbreaking themes. I am a happy go lucky kind of gal, why then are my stories so sad.


Chapter 4

November 2nd well, I am getting a “vacation” but not what I had actually had in mind. My sewer line has collapsed and I have to go spend a few days in a hotel while this is getting repaired.

I had thought that my sewer was just backed up, you know roots or something but NO it had to be a major ordeal, right now, right in the middle of NaNoWriMo. Oh joy!


Well, I have packed up. My roommate and I have gotten almost everything together that we need. We have taken our poor little dog who does not have good potty habits to the “pet motel” so that she can board while we are living in the motel. We forgot things like socks, my C- Pap machine and snacks but for the most part we are good to go.

We are in a motel we have stayed in during times past and that we have used to put guests up in. There are things about it that are still “nice” but it is becoming a little frayed around the edges. I guess hard economic times are hitting everywhere.

We are going to a Mexican restaurant nearby for dinner. We haven't been there in about two years but it used to be one of our favorite restaurants. I am looking forward to some cheese dip and enchiladas.


Well, we are back from dinner. It was quite disappointing. The food is not as good as it once was and the large cheese dip that was once $3.75 is now EIGHT dollars and FIFTY cents. I didn't look at the price for a large cheese dip I just ordered it. I almost DIED when I saw the ticket and found that it was EIGHT dollars and FIFTY cents. Well, that restaurant is now off of our list of establishments to visit.

After dinner we watched HGTV, that is one of the best parts about being in a hotel is getting to watch HGTV, we love the shows on there and it is a real change of pace from our daily routine.

I guess I will sign off for tonight, even though I am still totally clueless about what I am going to write for NaNoWriMo!


Chapter Five

November 3rd, well after a night of very little sleep due to not having my C-Pap machine we ran by the house. No digging had started although all the preparatory spray painting had occurred, so we were able to run into the house and get things we had forgotten. We did not get the C-Pap machine because the teensy little bedside table was too small for it to sit on even if we put the phone and radio on the floor. So it got left behind intentionally.

After our foray at the house we went to the grocery store and stocked up on some provisions. We went to the post office to mail books for Paperback Swap, went to the Hallmark store to get note cards and buy a birthday card for our grandson, Rooster Poot who is turning eleven and then to the drug store to pick up prescriptions. We also made a stop at Sonic during Happy Hour and picked up some Limeades and they were tasty, tasty, tasty. Afterward we went back to the hotel for a nap before dinner. Running errands is hard work, whew.

For dinner we went to our favorite Chinese restaurant and were cheerfully greeted by the staff who really like us. The hostess told us that we could not eat there tonight because we were not welcome, we all laughed because she was leading us to our favorite table as she harassed us. It was great fun.

The meal was wonderful as usual and I enjoyed my General Tso's chicken immensely. I even had leftovers to take back to the hotel with me for later. It was a yummy good time.

Upon returning from dinner I decided to take a shower, well, I noticed that the magnets on the shower curtain had it fastened on the OUTSIDE of the tub. I thought this was odd but guessed that that was the way they wanted it. I guessed wrong.

After my nice long shower I opened the curtain and too my HORROR found the bathroom floor flooded. I hollered to my roommate for help. She assisted me in reaching the additional towels so I could sop up the mess. We laughed at my nuttiness and then we watched HGTV again. Our lives are so simple, we were just THRILLED to be watching HGTV and enjoying the searches for new houses and apartments. We live our lives vicariously and as voyeurs! LOL!!!

After television time I fiddled around on HOW and Facebook, now it is time to get ready for bed.


Chapter 6

November 4th, it is around 3am...I can't sleep so I am up working on my NaNoWriMo novel. Work on it has been sporadic at best because all I can think about to write are sad and depressing stories. I want to write something that isn't SAD! I did get about one thousand words written but that is it. I am so behind on my word count.

I need some sleep but we have to be up in order to check out of the hotel in the morning as our sewer is supposed to be fixed by today/tomorrow depending on how you want to look at it. I will be so glad to be home. I really wanted a vacation but this feels more like being a refugee. At least I have clean sheets and a bed so I really shouldn't complain.

I wish that I could watch some more HGTV but that would disturb Miss Teffers who is trying to sleep. I can't wait to be home tomorrow and hope that the sewer is fixed soon enough that we can go get the little dog. We miss her so much. It is sheer agony trying to get through the day without the little dog here to love and amuse us. I am so used to having her spend part of the evening in my lap and letting me pet her and adore her precious little Chihuaha self. Gosh I miss her.

Well, I am starting to feel like I can go to sleep I will try it again although I am worried about trying to move back into the house, getting the little dog and making it to my grandson's birthday party tomorrow night (tonight really) that is an awful lot to do in one day. We shall see what happens!


Chapter 7

November 4th continued

Well, this morning we got up, Miss Teffers did most of the packing as usual, she is SO organized and I tried to help and yet stay out of the way. I amused myself by looking at the beds, Miss Teffers bed looks scarcely touched and mine looks like the Loony Tunes Tasmanian Devil has been dancing in it. Too funny! LOL!!!

We decided that there was no way that we could move back in, get the little dog and attend the birthday party. It was just TOO, TOO much for us to handle. I called my son to let him know that we probably would not be able to attend Rooster Poot's party and explained why. I also told him that we would go by and see Trish his wife and give her out gift for Rooster Poot.

My son was like “Okay whatever.” I refused to let him guilt me, Teffers and I are both disabled and we can only handle so much in a given day.

We checked out of the hotel, went to Seanbo and Trish's house to give Trish Rooster Poot's birthday card with a whole eleven dollars in it. (Insert sarcasm here, but we are broke and doing the best that we can.) We visited with Trish and held new little baby Jessbo. She is really growing and just so cute. It was a pleasure to get to see our precious little granddaughter.

While we were at Trish's mom called to see if we wanted to go eat pizza with her. I said sure and that we would call her when we left Trish's. We left about a half an hour later, went to see the progress being made and saw that our driveway was having to be dug up when we had hoped it would be able to be spared. (Sigh!) Then we called mom and told her we were ready for pizza if she was and we met her at the pizza parlor.

We told her about the status from what we could tell at the house. We were all dismayed about the driveway. We chatted a mile a minute about everything especially baby Jessica while we ate pizz and enjoyed our time together.

Since we didn't really have any place else to go we went to mom's house after having pizza and visited with she and daddy. It was a nice visit. In the mid afternoon, mom called the plumbing company to find out the status of the sewer line replacement and found out after about an hour that the job was finished but they couldn't cover up the open hole until the city inspector had approved it and that could take until tomorrow morning.

As there was nowhere to park and a HUGE hole at our back door which is how we get in and out of the house we decided to check back into the hotel to spend another night. When we got to the hotel I got a handicapped accesible room hoping for a shower that would better meet our needs and a handicapped toilet as the one in the previous room had been much too short and had played havoc on my already bad knees.

We moved BACK into the hotel and found to our amusement that there was no tub at all in the handicapped accessible hotel room. The shower was a shower head that I don't know how anyone in a wheelchair could reach to adjust, a shower stool and a tile floor with two drains in the floor. We laughed and laughed as this type of shower would have been beneficial when I ended up flooding the other bathroom two nights before.

After laughing so at the bathroom and how perfect it was for me with my “water fetish” we collapsed into the beds and took naps. My bed was nice and soft which was perfect as the bed the previous nights had been hard as a board.

When I woke up from my nap I worked on my NaNoWriMo novel and Miss Teffers watched HGTV. After a few hours I joined her in watching HGTV. We did not feel any need to go out for dinner as we were still satisfied from eating pizza earlier in the day.

After watching HGTV for a while I went back to checking out things on the forums at HOW and Facebook, then I worked some more on my NaNoWrimo novel. I am WAY behind on my word count as there has been so much going on and life has been rather hectic. I am still having trouble with plot and characters too. Some of my characters are being most contrary and not cooperating in the least.

I worked on NaNo for a while and then went to bed. I was exhausted despite my nap. It had been a long day.


Chapter 8

November 5th we got up early this morning and actually had time for the complimentary breakfast. Teffers had a waffle and I had a blueberry muffin with strawberry cream cheese. It was pretty good. We watched a little bit of CNN while we were in the breakfast nook and then we went back to our room, pack up AGAIN and then headed toward the house.

There was no activity there so we knew that the inspection had not taken place. We went to my mom's to visit. Finally there was word that the inspection had taken place and that they were filling in the hole. The plumbing supervisor asked mom if she wanted them to pour the concrete today but when we found that it wouldn't be dry by the end of the day mom told the gentleman that we just wanted to go home, we had no place else to park (there is no place to park on the street where we live) so we would just park on the dirt. The plumbers said okay to that.

We left mom's house parked temporarily in a neighbor's driveway while he was at work. Unloaded our van while there was BIG machinery working mere feet from where we were and then went to the vet's office to get our little dog. Now this was a 20 mile drive but we were just so glad to be getting her and taking her home. When we got to the city where she was boarded we had at least an hour to wait before she would be ready because she was getting a bath, flea dip and “manicure,” so we went to get gas, ate a chicken sandwich at Wendy's and visited as we waited.

Finally it was time to get the little dog and she was so happy to see us. Every time we have had to board her (and she hadn't been boarded in over 2 years) she acts like she will never see us again, so her world brightens when we are there to get her.

We got her in the van and talked love talk to her all the way home. When we got to the house we were surprised to see that we had a driveway. Part of it was missing but it was mostly intact. We parked our van, took our little dog into the house and after playing with her, we ALL took naps because we were totally wiped out.

After naps, I worked on my NaNo novel, Teffers read and the little dog continued to nap. She must not have slept much at the “pet motel” she was totally wiped out.

We ate sandwiches for dinner and I spent time writing in the blog (big duh there, eh), visiting on Facebook and Twitter, then working more on the NaNo novel. It is shaping up some but my main character needs an attitude adjustment.

After spending two hours in the 1980s at an answering service I was ready to shut NaNo down and go to bed although for some reason I really wanted a cigarette and a beer.


Chapter 9

November 6th

Life is returning to some degree of normality. I have been working on my NaNoWrimo novel, we have been grocery shopping, the driveway is actually a jigsaw puzzle pieced together from broken pieces of the original, god bless the plumbers we didn't have to slog around in clay and mud.

Coming home from the grocery store, as I was unloading the van I stepping in cat shit, it yakked me out BIG time. I don't handle excrement well at all. It took me forever to get all of the cat crap out of the grooves in the soul of my shoe. It was just GROSS.

The little dog keeps sneezing, Steffie is very worried about this but I think that it is from the flea dip. Little Dog has allergies and the flea dip scent always makes her sneeze. At this point I am not really concerned. I am allergic to the flea dip too and can commiserate with little dog. My eyes are inflamed and I am sneezing too. UGH!!!!

I am glad to be getting my words in on my NaNo novel and that my MC is becoming a little more cooperative. It is so frustrating when your MC takes off on a path of their own device without advising you, the author, of their plans. Geesh!

Tonight we had some Stouffer's Chicken Enchiladas with Rice and a salad for dinner. It was great. The best part is that cooking and cleanup were easy. Now I wish I could make myself NOT feel guilty about eating on paper plates. Life would be so much easier.

I have to say that after years of being careful with the sewer, it is nice to know that there is a new line put it. I don't intend to abuse it or anything but having a new line gives me some peace of mind.

In closing I would have been married to my first husband 34 years today. I was an idiot of nineteen when I got married, really what was I thinking. I certainly was not ready for that kind of commitment although I recognize that some are. I am just glad that I was able to divorce him and let him live his life while I lived mine. Our marriage was a fiasco from Day 1, I should have just gone home and gotten an annulment it would have been better for everyone.


Chapter 10

November 7th

Well, little dog is still sneezing and sleeping a lot. Her asthma like symptoms have increased and Steph is really worried. I am starting to get worried too but you can still really smell the flea dip on her so I am still thinking that could be it. Her nose is dry but not hot. We will see how things go.

My NaNo novel was out of control tonight. I didn't even get one hundred words written. I couldn't focus, minor characters were being cheeky and it was just a muckety muck mess. I gave up and fiddled around on Facebook. I waited around for the “In A Sentence” post...I got an honorable mention for my sentence yesterday we were using the word, Brobdingnagian. I then wrote a sentence for today's challenge and then went to Twitter to catch up on some news. I swear there is a reason I avoid the news it is usually very downbeat and depressing.

I am glad I have this blog to work out my issues with home life, international affairs and my NaNo novel. I don't know what I would do without it.


Chapter 11

November 8th

I have really been cranking on my NaNo novel. The dialogue today is suffering but the narrative is going well. It seems that I can write narrative or dialogue in any give day but not both. I don't get it and I don't like it but that is “the way it is!”

I am still behind on my NaNo word count but I have not doubts that I will catch up. I believe, I believe, I believe!

I have completed another blog post today, cleaned the kitchen, cooked dinner, washed dishes, planned dinner for tomorrow, fiddled around on Twitter and Facebook but the most fun came from attending a “pumpkin roll” in the neighborhood. There is a HUGE straight hill in the neighborhood and on the Sunday after Halloween the neighborhood association sponsors a pumpkin roll where people compete for prizes by rolling their pumpkins down the hill. There is a first, second and third place is guaranteed that pumpkin guts will be everywhere and that kids will be squealing with delight. Some adults squee too!

After the pumpkin rolling competition, everyone who wants to just “roll” a pumpkin gets together in a group and let them rip. What an uproarious mess it is! Such fun!

The weather was perfect and a jolly good time was had by all. NYC may have their big time marathon but we have our pumpkin roll. It is a proud tradition.

Of course, after the pumpkin roll there is a mess to be contained but most people pitch in to help. It is almost as much run as all the rolling is. Sometimes I think a pumpkin “food fight” would be fun but it sure could get nasty fast. I haven't suggested it, LOL!!!

Well, I guess I have covered the highlights for the day, back to writing!


Chapter 12

November 9th

Well, I had a jolly time at the grocery store today. It was senior citizen's day, I don't know WHY I can't remember that and avoid the store on that day. Also, two girls in their 20s were walking down the aisle TOGETHER arguing with each other via cellphone. That's right, they were eye to eye, tooth to toenail and SCREAMING at each other vis a vie their cellphones. Gawd help us all. I wanted to slap the snot out of them. It was impossible to avoid them. I went to the opposite side of the store to get away from them and who shows up less than one aisle later, that's right the “bitch sisters” along with old ladies who really should not be living independently. I swear I don't understand why families do not put their loved ones in assisted living centers or nursing homes. It is the kindest thing to do. A lot of these older people can't read the products on the shelves but they are driving themselves to and from the store. It is a sad commentary on our society that the elderly do not get the assistance they need from their families and communities. I only wish that I was well enough to help out some of the senior citizens in my neighborhood. I do what I can with reading ingredients to people, teling them prices and helping them to reach items on the shelves. I find senior citizen day annoying but really it is because our seniors can't do for themselves as they and their families seem to think they can.

After the screamers left, things were okay except for mother's who don't seem to know how to control their children. I know I am getting old and cranky but park the little darling's fanny in the cart and leave it there. While you are at it blow their snotty noses. It requires some effort to parent children but if you are unwilling to put out the effort then don't breed, you will be doing us all a favor.

Well, I am a crank aren't I but I did find some good fodder for the novel. NaNo is moving on along and I should be caught up before I know it. (So it says in fine print!)

Signing off for another day!


Chapter 13

November 10th

Today is the anniversary of the sinking of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald. That was many tragic losses of life that have occurred in my experience maybe it is the Gordon Lightfoot song that makes it so haunting but there is something in the story that grabs hold of one's psyche and doesn't let go.

Writing has been slow today. I did pretty well last night, “Totally Flummoxed” is really taking shape and doesn't remind me of old excrement so I am pleased even with the output is slow.

It has been a rather chilly November day. Besides my usual iced tea I have been consuming hot tea like crazy, I have been drinking a lovely Sugar Cookie flavored herbal and some plum flavored green tea. It has been a nice juxtaposition.

My coffee pot died and I have made some coffee in my French press pot but that takes time away from writing. I have to go buy a new coffee pot and then I will send the carafe to the flea market with mama, people are all the time breaking their carafes and come to the shop looking for replacement carafes because mama is much cheaper than other stores and this way the carafe gets reused instead of going to the landfill. I am all about reusing items if possible.

I am hoping to get a coffee pot with a thermal carafe so that I don't have to keep the electricity going to keep the coffee hot. I try to be a good environmental steward but I do run the water while brushing my teeth and take very long showers, so I am not anywhere near perfect in my efforts.

I guess I need to quit babbling on about environmental living and my carbon footprint so that I can get back to work on the novel. BTW, the grocery store scene has worked well into the story line.


Chapter 14

November 11th

It is Veteran's Day...the day we honor those who have fought to defend our country. I have had relatives that have fought or served during every war since the American revolution. My beloved Poppy Richard served in the Pacific Theatre during WWII. He truly was part of the “Greatest Generation.”

I cannot think of Veteran's Day without remembering my trip to “The Wall” when I was in Washington D. C. about 25 years ago. It was an overwhelming experience. I also went past the National Cemetery while riding the subway. It was awe inspiring to see all of those graves of men and women who have served their country. We owe our Veteran's so very much.

I feel lethargy and entropy taking over my ability to work on my novel. This is not a good thing. I have worked so hard to pull together plot devices and characters so that it is a seamless piece of literature and yet there are forces at work in my head and vis a vie my main character that are simply undermining everything that I have accomplished thus far. I do not understand this sudden turn of events and am at a loss to explain it. Things had been going so well, perhaps too well. It is all very vexing.

I find myself wishing that I were in my garden among the ivy and delphinium on a nice spring day when everything feels so fresh, new and vibrant. This would help to lift my spirits and bring me out of this virtually anaerobic state by breathing fresh air and new oxygen into my mind and story line. I know that I can imagine myself in this improved state and bring my tale to a new edgy story line so that I do not get off track and lose my momentum. Right now synergy and the impetus to tell this tale are all that I have going for me so I must break free of these self imposed shackles and rip my story from my brain to my fingertips and free it in a burst of writing energy and velocity. It is time to go back to the tale and bring it forth.


Chapter 15

November 12th

The main character's BDSM tendencies are creating problems in the story line, she wants to be totally dominated by her male lover and yet she is a strong woman in her own right. I keep trying to build her up and help her to recognize her strengths and yet she wants to be paddled, pummeled and fully consumed by her lover. She desires him so very much and wants to feel his cock pounding in her taking her for his own and not allowing any stray thoughts of other lovers to enter her mind as he consumes her.

There is so very much more to the story here. There are issues related to the main character's job, life apart from her lover and her relationship with her son. She cannot allow herself to be lost in the world of bondage and domination while she has so many other tasks to attend to, this is one of the reasons I find myself feeling lugubrious about my novel because the main character and her lover take off on these side excursions of kinky sex involving leather, spankings and bondage. I mean really how can I create a realistic psychotherapist who instead of listening to her clients is fantasizing about being bound to her office chair and her lover performing cunnilingus on her until she begs him to stop and enter her with his turgid member and take her completely so that she can experience orgasm and find some relief from her painful buildup to the edge of her senses.

Do you see my problem? I am trying to process it here in my blog so that maybe I can understand the mindset and motivation of these characters who definitely and defiantly have minds of their own to my despair and chagrin.

I will try to get them to settle down into their “real” lives and leave their sexual peccadilloes behind for a little while.


Chapter 16

November 13th

My characters have not been any more cooperative at all neither has my life. I don't know how I am going to get my novel written and my fifty thousand words in this year. I have felt like crap, keep getting these horrid headaches and of course, am having the problem with my eyes. Let me tell you severe dry eye disorder is NOT for wussies.

So much has been going on around me it is like a swirling maelstrom conspiring to keep me from writing and then when I feel myself stymied I go to Facebook and Twitter to read articles and status updates. I know more about the news and current affairs than I really care to. It is a real pain.

There has been a rash of catnapping in my area and now one of my beloved cats is missing. I hate to think of her hurt somewhere or having been harmed. I hope she is just off on a hunting expedition and is going to show up fine and dandy. I have had she and her sister for thirteen years this month. There were born feral but we caught them and tamed them to a certain degree. I have the scars to prove what an ordeal that it was. I sure hope she shows up, she is a beautiful loving albeit still somewhat wild cat. It isn't like her to not be around. Sigh!

I know that I can't waste anytime during November, I know that I need to focus and get my story in order. I am trying to avoid writing an erotic piece of literature but this main character, a woman in her forties is making this situation difficult. She certainly has her own ideas about what she thinks, feels and does. It is very interesting to say the least.

I guess I will close for now. I hope I can write a few more chapters in my novel.


Chapter 17

November 14th

There are so very many days in November that are tied up in conflict for me, maybe that is why it is hard to write and everything I seem to “throw down” is bawdy escapism at its worst and I do mean worst. I was not meant to write erotic literature. I can write smut and I can write it very well, thank you very much but erotica, not my cup of tea, you have to be too dainty in your language filling it with similes and metaphors, not for me...I tend to get down and dirty. Slash, that is the sound of my whip cutting through the air around me. LOL!!!! I am such a mess.

Today is the birthday of someone who was once in my life. He is a true psychopath and totally dangerous. I know that modern psychiatry has removed the term psychopath from the diagnostic vernacular but that didn't make psychopaths go away, they are still with us and dangerous as ever. This person may be dead now for all I know but until I see a death certificate and a grave I will always be looking over my shoulder wondering if this person is in the shadows waiting to strike. I realize that this gives him a lot of power even though he may not be around but once you have been stalked and victimized the way that I have been you cannot judge how I feel and react. My thoughts and actions are my own. I claim them and must live with them. I don't dwell on possibilities but they do linger in the far recesses of my mind and particular anniversaries such as this birthday bring them to the forefront. The fear will fade again but in the meantime I try to find ways to stay safe and protected from those who have harmed me and who would harm me again.

Such issues cloud my mind and keep me from my novel. It is hard to contemplate the psyche of my protagonist when I am haunted by the past, perhaps it is this past that influences her and makes her difficult to understand and write about. It is all very vexing. Perhaps I should set my novel aside for a while and then come back to it with a fresh mind and clearer thoughts. Maybe a foray though Twitter will inspire me.


Chapter 18

November 15th Oh dear another anniversary, I need to build these into my character's thoughts and actions. I need them to be experiencing angst and strum un drang not me. I need them to have life ecstasy, reality, harshness and bliss.

On this date 13 years ago I lost my best friend of twenty six years, she died of cervical cancer but it was a sudden and unexpected death despite her illness. I was lucky enough to be holding her hand as she crossed over from this world to the next. It was a wonderful gift from the universe that I was with this woman I loved so very much as she moved away from me for the time being.

I find myself lost even though there is a sense of knowing that she is in a better place. Twenty six years is a long relationship. We were married with in a week of each other, she was my matron of honor, we had children nine months apart. Our children were best friends and we vacationed together many times. It was a glorious time. I miss her so very much. I am glad though that she is no longer suffering.

Maybe all this sadness is why my protagonist desires to be dominated so, as the bottom she is in control of the situation and is only as submissive as she chooses to be and then with the safe word the action stops. How nice it would be if all life was that way. We could choose how we are hurt or dominated and then the rest of the time we are free of restraint and oversight. Life can be so freeing on one hand and so constricting on the other. I am beginning to understand where my main character's impetus is coming from. Maybe I should let her have some ropes, a flogger and a fur piece to sooth her striated fanny.

I am seeing things more clearly now even though I am caught up in a quagmire of pain and loss.


Chapter 19

November 16th

I have been asked by a coffee blogger to write a post about NaNoWriMo and coffee. I, of course, quickly agreed to do so. My NaNo avatar is a coffee cup with the information about NaNoWriMo 2010. I can't see how anyone can write their NaNo novel without being fueled by some kind of caffeine or energy drink. My drinks of choice are hot coffee and hot tea. I in fact, just got a NEW coffee pot today that makes coffee directly into a thermal carafe that can keep coffee hot for hours at a time without the burner being on. It could also keep water hot for cocoa and hot tea too. Oh, I am greatly delighted with my new coffee pot and am thrilled at the opportunity to write a post about NaNo and the important role coffee can play in the world of NaNoWriMo.

Besides getting my new coffee pot we went to a doctor appointment that went well, always like doctor appointments that go nicely most doctors need lessons in civility but my daddy had a civil doctor yesterday even though his news was not great (he has some heart issues and failed his stress test) but the doctor was pleasant and helpful. That makes hard news somewhat easier to take. My GF had a doctor appointment today and another coming up in a few days, my goodness lots of time being spent in doctors' offices. Old age is truly not for sissies.

I have gotten some work done on my NaNo novel. It is coming along quite well. It reads like a memoir but is certainly no Roman A Clef. I could have way too much trouble on my hands if I were to write one of those.

I am pleased that the words seem to be flowing well in my novel and that my eyes are doing better. I think that I FINALLY have had enough in the way of eye drops to get to where my eyes are better hydrated and less irritated. This change has only occurred today. It is a pleasant turn of events.

My local pharmacy, and I do mean local independent pharmacy helped me to get the exact eye medication that I wanted. They didn't carry it as a regular item but are special ordering it for me. I appreciate them so very much. My pharmacist is so very good to us. I just wish I could convince more people to use the drug store. The corner druggist is a dying institution but as long as I have one I will use it/him.


Chapter 20

November 17th

Well, I have to say that this novel is moving along much more slowly than my novel last year did. Last year is the only year out of six that I have won and I'll be darned if I lose this year. I simply must get my bones thrown down and my novel written. I mean I have so very much invested in these characters, I can't let them trail off into oblivion without getting my NaNo novel finished. Oh, I know that I can finish my novel in December or January but it just isn't the same as being able to claim victory now, this month, making it possible to thump my chest like the silverback gorilla and stake my claim in the wilds of NaNoVille!

My characters are so real and alive, they argue with me and each other, they live, breathe, make love, drink, eat, smoke and then do it all again because they can, nay they must for they have such a joie de vivre. It is just amazing. That is all I can say it that it is amazing and pleasing all at the same time. This is my time. This is my novel. It will all come together. I believe in myself and in my dreams I am a positive I can person.


Chapter 21 November 18th

My father has been ill and is in the hospital for some tests today. They should have been done sooner but oh no, the man had to go deer hunting. I suppose that if he was going to drop dead then he should do so participating in something that gives him so much pleasure. The man lives and breathes for hunting season. If something happens that he cannot hunt at the proscribed times I fear that he will just give up and die. Then what will mama do. I don't want to think about it. I want his tests today to come out just fine and for him to continue to be the cantankerous old toot that he has been for 75 years. We all need him way too much for him to get too sick and die.

I will be at the hospital in a little while and once the tests are done we will know “what's what” for our next steps. It is a nail biter of an experience.

Now back to my NaNoWriMo novel. What can I say about it? That it is contrary and arbitrary, that my own words conspire against me as I try to write my story and make it a lovely palatable tale that I can do something with at the end of November and can maybe just maybe shape up into something worth selling. I just don't know any longer what to think about my story. It has a life of its own and is just not cooperating with me in the least.

At least I have some answers about daddy now I need answers from my story. They are both ornery beasts. Oh, I don't think that daddy would like being referred to that way but it really is true. I just won't tell him that I called him an ornery beast.

As for the novel, I have used backstory, flashbacks, dreams, conspiracies, forward glances and no end of contrivices and yet the tale of the sassy Southern gal who has taken more than fifty years to find her way to who she is still eludes me in so many ways. I wish I had a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and some Virginia Slims Super Slims Menthol cigarettes to help see me through this novel as they saw me through so many articles, papers and stories before in the past. Some nice red wine to flow through my veins opening up the channels of my imagination as I puff furiously on some cigarettes to draw inspiration from the smoke that filters through them. Alas, I quit smoking, I can't afford a jug of wine and well the bread, I need to save that for dinner tonight. I'd hate to try to explain that we can't have dinner because I needed inspiration.

Ciao! Thirty Days of Coffee Fueled Literary Abandon

It is November 2010 this is the 30 Days of Literary Abandon known as NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), a time during which many a budding novelist works feverishly to write a fifty thousand word tome that lays the groundwork for a future novel or perhaps novella. Many of this literary efforts are fueled by coffee, the nectar of the gods and the caffeine potion that has provided added impetus to many an author and artiste.

I am an aficionado of java juice and use it to keep my spirits from flagging and my inspiration running hot. I prefer to make a fresh pot with my French press using a nice dark roast to keep my pulse quickened and my heart pounding while many of my compadres prefer to make a 10 cup drip pot of coffee so that they have it ready as they need it. They don't even necessarily keep the pot hot, the will microwave a cuppa joe to warm it up as they need a pick me up to keep the words flowing.

Many "NaNos" go to coffeehouses throughout the world to drink their favorite libation and work on their novels either alone or as part of a "write in" orchestrated by municipal liaisons across the world. Thus the world of coffee and that happy little bean keep the words flowing and the process underway for many participants. If you are a writer pleased join us in 2011, we'd love to have you:

Now, it is time to grind some French roast and make a pot of coffee to fuel my writing for another round.


It was a dark and stormy night. It was hot and humid, nay it was sultry and I dreamed I was on the road to Manderlay, there were vines and trees obstructing my view and yet I found myself curiously aroused by the atmosphere and flora around me.

I have been working on this novel for nineteen days more or less and yet I find that my soul, my purpose my total focus elude me as I try to find ways to write that which is trapped in my mind and refuses to be released vis a via my fingers.

Besides the love and health of my family there is nothing more important to me than finishing my NaNo novel no matter how poorly written it may be. I can always edit and rewrite but the point, nay the bottom line is to finish with fifty thousand words by the end of November. It is so very important to me. I must finish.

I just found out a few minutes ago that the rock band, Sweet Magnolia that used to live upstairs from us is having a "reunion" of sorts tonight. It seems that of the six original members there are only three remaining. The other three have died this year. That takes me aback in ways that I cannot begin to explain.

That was a definitive and difficult time in my life. I lived in a big old rambling house that had been cut into a four plex. Sweet Magnolia lived in the apartment right over ours and their front door was just a few feet from ours. I can't tell you how many times our door was "banged" on in the middle of the night by someone looking for Sweet Magnolia members so they could party.

We were often serenaded by Sweet Magnolia jamming through the night. Sometimes it got old. I was pregnant, it was summertime and I was often tired and fatigued, but for the most part it was pretty cool to live downstairs from a rock band.

David, one of the members used to spend hours on the front porch talking with me about life and the experiences in the universe. We would sip iced tea and converse for hours. We lived in an awesome neighborhood. It was like a small town all unto itself. On night David commented that the neighborhood would be perfect if the "Bluebird Beauty Parlor" across the street from us was the "Bluebird Bar and Grill." Well, I still live in the same neighborhood...our old home is now a fancy bar and grill. The "Bluebird Beauty Parlor" is gone but there are many bars, grills, restaurants and pizza places within walking distances (a few blocks) of where we once sat and watched the world go by. I miss those conversations. David was a gentleman and a world class rocker. Too bad he never escaped the hum drum of being in a regional band. I think he could have done very well but then the world is full of "could have been" musicians, writers and artists.

Also living in "The House" (which is also the name of the restaurant ergo bar and grill, that occupies the space) were a nurse with numerous boyfriends and two women, one of whom, had a 5 year old son. There was a wonderful drag queen named Jerry who often stayed with the women. The three of them had been friends for years. From Jerry, I learned how to do make up and often did make up for the "queens" at the local gay bar called, "The Drummer's Club." It was literally an underground bar, not just a figurative one. It was in a once grand dame hotel that had been closed for years but the bar was still thriving. I was often mistaken for a drag queen at the club when I was sitting down, but once I stood up and my very OBVIOUS pregnancy was showing all offers for dances and free drinks dried up. Back then no one had a conniption if a pregnant woman had a drink or two, my how times have changed over the past thirty three years.

Going back to Sweet Magnolia, they were often on the road and I used to feed their cat. It was a black tom and for the life of me I can't remember his name. How odd, I usually remember such things.

There was a row of businesses across a small yard from our house and the boulevard at the corner. One of these businesses was the Arkansas Philharmonic Theatre. One night Sweet Magnolia was jamming and the audience couldn't hear the actors lines. The stage manager came over to the house and asked Sweet Magnolia if they could either quit practicing for a while or "tone it down" and offered them free tickets to a show if they would. The guys went out for beer until the play was over.

My bedroom was in the front room of the house because it was the only room that had windows that opened and would provide circulation. Our bed was up against the wall that separated our apartment from Sweet Magnolia's apartment. There were stairs on the other side of the wall and the whole area acted like an echo chamber, the guys in Sweet Magnolia always knew when we were having sex. I didn't learn this until we were getting ready to move. SIGH!

As I think about this, the only person I can really totally share all of the experiences in this house with would be my ex-husband. We don't really speak, unless we have no choice. It was not an amicable divorce and the past 31 years have not made it any more so. I wish that we could have had a peaceful divorce and a good relationship but it just wasn't meant to be. We were teenagers who should have never married and we were way to young to have a child and we just didn't know how to come to grips with everything that was going on in our lives. We lived a precarious balancing act together for about 3 1/2 years and it was too much, our relationship was forever damaged and even more sad was the fact that our son experienced way too much of the fallout. He still does. I try to be civil but there is too much old history hanging over our heads like a nuclear mushroom. At this point my son who was so emotionally abused by his father has sided with his abuser and is all kinds of in love with daddy dearest. I have to admit that it hurts but then that is how things go in our lives sometimes.

I really do wish that my ex-husband and I had an amicable relationship because I would like to be able to tell him about the guys from Sweet Magnolia and reminisce about the summer of '77. There were some good times there. To bad everything ended on such a rancid note.

Another interesting piece from the story of "The House," is that I ended up being a roommate with one of the women who lived upstairs in the back and her son, Michael. We lived together in the summer of 1980, talk about another interesting and wild ride. We lived in a trailer park. The sheriff's deputies were out there almost every night and came to our trailer so often that I was on a first name basis with some of them. There were a lot of fights that happened in that trailer park. Domestic violence was a way of life. Speaking of, I met and married my roomie's brother, Dave. I had known Dave for six weeks, couldn't seem to get rid of him, married him because I wanted my son to have a father, and within a week of him marrying me he was gone for 6 weeks, then after he and I had a big fight he was back for six weeks (he had been working on an oil tanker) and after he had been back for about 6 weeks we separated because he was physically abusive to me but primarily because he made the MAJOR mistake of laying a hand on my son. That put an end to that. Six weeks later we were divorced. It was an interesting time in my life. I have NO regrets at not having a continuing relationship with that son of a bitch. I did see his sister on occasion at work but that is ancient history. She works at the same place but I have long moved on. Life is very queer.

Even if I knew how to get in touch with my former sister in law I doubt she would really remember much if anything about Sweet Magnolia although I could be wrong. They were neighbors for quite a while. Life is really strange. It takes all kinds of unusual twists and turns. I mean I can't believe when I look back at things that I was ever Lavonne's roommate or that I married her husband Dave. I can't believe that I got married at 19 and had a baby at 20. I was divorced at 22 the first time and 23 the second time. I never meant to marry at all. I was going to remain single, have a career and if I had a child I would do it via artificial insemination and not deal with any men in my life unless they were for my own amusement. I have always had my own ideas about things. I certainly was not going to get caught in the marriage trap and yet, at the age of 53 I wish I'd known how to maintain a marriage since I found myself in one so that hopefully my son would have had an upbringing with two loving parents. I think that it is delusional to consider that things could have worked out differently but I wish they could have. I was so stupid and naive at nineteen. Favorite Christmas Story...

Back in nineteen eighty three I started working for the state department of social services. In November of that year I was promoted from a clerical position to being a child protective services worker. Part of our child welfare jobs included providing Christmas for all of our foster children on our case loads and for as many of the protective services families that we could find sponsors to cover. That year all of the kids on the foster care caseloads wanted boom boxes just like most other kids in America and maybe even the rest of the first world countries. (I am not sure if children in third world countries knew about boom boxes at the time or aspired to own one, I admit to total ignorance on this point.)

As protective services workers we were involved in the shopping for these hundreds of boom boxes and let me tell you that as the money trickled in for the purchase of these items the boom boxes were flying off the shelves faster than we could buy them. We were shopping until stores closed trying to find enough boom boxes for all of the foster children on our case loads. It was a gritty, difficult job to procure these while also trying to do the rest of our assigned work too. We were working from can till can't protecting the children of Pulaski County, shopping for Christmas gifts...primarily boom boxes and wrapping hundreds of Christmas presents. We were understaffed, underpaid and to say the very least, over worked!

As we finally got all of the boom boxes purchased and wrapped we started to deliver gifts to the different foster homes, children's homes and residential care facilities. During the delivery process it snowed and iced, I must tell you that at that time Pulaski County, nay the state of Arkansas pretty much shut down when there was snow and ice but yet in our job positions we had to find ways to get to work so that we could finish wrapping Christmas presents and figure out a way to get them delivered.

As the zero hour approached the streets were thawing enough that we could get more presents delivered and we were out until all hours of the night trying to get packages to foster homes in hopes of getting things done before more snow and ice struck us. It was an awesome and at times overwhelming task.

On the last workday before Christmas Eve, I was out with a co-worker delivering Christmas presents in the country where the roads were just finally started to de-ice a little bit. We had one last present to deliver, a bicycle. As we got to the street we were to go down to get to the house that had the foster home on it we found a very HILLY street that had BIG ditches on either side of the road. The ditches were filled with cars that had braved the ice on the road and lost.

My co-worker wasn't willing to drive down the road and I didn't blame her so we walked to the foster home which it turns out was THREE MILES from the crossroad where we had parked the care. The temperature was 32, it was windy and neither one of us had on heavy coats, scarves, gloves or hats because we were going to be in the heated car. Ha, ha, ha!

We walked to the foster home and in fact, almost missed the street that it was on because the street post was covered in snow. We spent some time in the overheated foster home visiting with the youngster who was living there and his foster mother. We then ventured out into the cold again to walk back up and down the hills to the car. It was brutal and icy as we made our trek.

Now you must know that I am a klutz. I had difficulty walking on the ice and kept slip sliding away. I thought that I was going to fall for sure. All of the sudden I heard a bell behind me and there was a bull that was getting ready to charge with me being the closest thing for him to hit. He was about a half a mile away. My co-worker was quite a way ahead of me because she had better footing on the ice. She was safe.

I had no trees to climb, no where to go except into the ditch that was deeper than I am tall. If I had gone into the ditch I would have never gotten out without serious assistance. I did the only thing that I could do, I ran, as fast as I could and then I hit a particularly slick spot on the ice and fell hitting my head hard. I could see the bull running toward me and I prepared to die. Suddenly the bull stopped, less than ten feet from me and turned around to walk the other direction toward the herd of cattle that had also escaped the fence with it. My life was saved by some Christmas miracle. It took a while but I finally got up off of the slick spot in the ice and made it to the car where my co-worker sat smoking. I joined her in a cigarette and told her what had happened. Even with all the commotion she never once turned around to see what had happened.

After we warmed up some and finished our cigarettes she took me as close to my home as she could get without risking wrecking her car on the ice. I walked another mile and a half to get home. I then slept several hours. I ended up sick with a bad cold for Christmas but at least I was alive and hadn't been mauled by the bull! Eluding The Totally Flummoxed Luddite

elude allusion Luddite riveting proclaim enigmatic flummox stint disseminate phenomenon burgeoning strategy rhapsodize paranormal invaluable

The allusion may elude you my Luddite friend but I find it riveting to find you flummoxed by this stint of disseminating the invaluable and paranormal information that is creating a strategy composed of a burgeoning phenomenon that is enigmatic and full of rhapsodizing energy. I am ready to proclaim this the discovery of the ages and yet you are so left behind in its premise that I find myself wondering at your intellectual capacities.


He has eluded the cat posse for now but his success will be limited. The bad thing is that the police will be having to protect him if he is found injuring another harmless cat. The thing that terrifies me is that he may be maiming cats now but will he move on to harming children and other people. Kids are really so defenseless and trusting in so very many ways.


The allusion to the cat posse refers to those diligent neighbors who are watching out for the man who has been accused and seems to be responsible for the disappearance and deaths of many neighborhood cats. It is not known if he tortures the animals but it is known that he has been seen selling "jewelry" made of animal fur, teeth and bones. It appears that the perpetrator is mentally ill but something needs to happen to protect both he and the community. It is a double edged sword and will provide a difficult situation for law enforcement, the justice system and the neighborhood.


The local Luddites are opposed to the introduction of additional manufacturing jobs in the state saying that it is destroying the agricultural base. The sad thing is that agribusiness by destroying the family farm has already destroyed the state's agricultural roots and the advent of additional manufacturing jobs may well be what keeps the state from sinking even further into poverty.


Shara's arguments were riveting in that she could speak to both sides of the situation and outline the pros and cons of each without seeming to lean one way or the other. We did not know her position but we were better informed by her clear, concise statements than by all the arguing that had preceded her statements.


Josiah proclaimed the land to be the new Caanan and as an enigmatic leader he convinced his followers to come with him into this new territory and build a civilization from the ground up so that they would be energized by the strength of their convictions and actions to bear out same. Josiah's followers would be ready for the Rapture when it came and in the meantime they would be living righteous lives and bearing witness to the beliefs that held them together as a cohesive group.


My mother was totally flummoxed by the decline in my father's health. She saw him wasting away and sleeping much of the time when previously he had been busy and robust. She made him go to see his doctors in search of answers that might help him to be diagnosed and treated. The allergist/pulmonologist did all he could to help my father but yet his symptoms continued. My mother then took daddy to his internist who did not have any answers but he suspected from the symptoms that he could be having cardiovascular issues and so he sent him to the cardiologist. After an exam, the cardiologist ordered a stress test which my dad failed spectacularly. He was scheduled for an arteriogram with the possibility of needing stints or even a by pass needing to be done.

After daddy's arteriogram he had 4 stints put into a coronary artery and the increase in blood flow was dramatic. Daddy will need further coronary surgery down the road but for right now he is feeling better than he has in months.


There was a need to quickly disseminate information about the cat napper to inform neighborhood residents of the problem. We used social networking via Facebook and Twitter. The local paper carried a story, all of the television networks aired stories about the cat napper and our local weekly paper carried the story and put out an alert for its email customers. The word was carried quickly and the cat napper was arrested.


The incident with the cat napper was a phenomenon that was unprecedented in our neighborhood. There was someone stealing cats, stuffing them into an ice chest and then taking to be teleported by aliens and/or killed to make garish "jewelry" from their hair, skin and bones.


There was a rapid burgeoning response to the story of the cat napper who was stealing cats and stuffing them into an ice chest. In our neighborhood pets are considered to be part of the family and for someone to be threatening neighborhood cats was considered a crime of a great degree.


My strategy for completing NaNoWriMo is to write as much as possible that I can which would be included in the novel and then use the editing time later to create the story as it should be. This is my plan, we will have to see how it works. I just want to complete NaNoWriMo and be successful. This is very important to me. Let us hope that my strategy is successful.


I can rhapsodize about NaNoWriMo for hours, this is just such an important event to me and I hope that I complete it successfully. I am not yet finished editing my novel from the last NaNoWriMo and yet it is the actual writing and completing the novel that is of the utmost importance to me. This is a challenge that I take seriously and that I hope to add to my badge of accomplishments. We shall see how I do. In the meantime, I will write my heart out and hope that everything comes out okay.


A friend of mine Monica Burns is working on a paranormal novel that addresses the issue of reincarnation. She has been having some difficulty with her main characters in the novel, something that I can certainly relate to in the writing of this NaNoWriMo novel.

During JulNoWriMo, I tried to write a paranormal novel from the viewpoint of being a memoir but found myself unable to complete the novel because it was too close to my own experience, to intense and too painful to write. Someday I will have to finish the story but for now it must wait will I write other stories and try to complete writing competitions such as NaNoWriMo.


The contributions of words by my friend Jodie has been invaluable in helping me to write my NaNoWriMo novel. Her words provide prompts, springboards if you will to help me in the work of my novel. Without her assistance I fear that I would be quite lost in the process and wandering around aimlessly. Jodie has helped me to retain my footing on solid ground and for that I thank her very much. She has made this year's NaNoWriMo novel possible. Thank you Jodie!


tedium extenuate mockery coven livid stevedore fregola manic faculty


I found the tedium of the situation in the hospital waiting room to be almost overwhelming. I took a valium to help me to cope with the tedious conversations and actions that were going on around me. The television was on too loudly, there were people on their cell phones, laptops, playing games, talking in voices more suited for football stadiums and so on. It was a most abysmal situation.


There were extenuating circumstances for some of the people involved in unsavory and tedious behavior in the hospital waiting room but over all the people involved behaved like spoiled children who did not know how to use civilized behavior and manners.


Sometimes human behavior makes a mockery of the standards for polite society. There are those who have no interest in boundaries between themselves and others. They need to be admonished for their poor behavior and yet to chastise them would leave me in the role of someone who was behaving badly.


One often hears of witch's covens but the truth of the matter is that few true witches practice in covens, that is for amateurs and show offs, most witches who are true to their craft practice alone as solitaries or perhaps with one or two trusted practicioners of the craft who are able to participate in a circle and create true magic rather than pretend to follow the precepts of a made up religion and craft. If you hear that someone belongs to a coven you can almost bet that they are "wannabes" not the real thing. They make a mockery of the craft and should be shunned by real witches.


I was livid recently when politician stated that she had "dabbled in witchcraft" when she was discussing "playing at Satanism" and I assure you that Satanic practice has nothing to do with the real practice of witchcraft. Sometimes I wish I could cut out people's tongues so that they could not wag them so freely and ignorantly.


He was brawny and built like a stevedore ready to take on difficult tasks and make them look easy because they took him little effort he could not always be empathic with how difficult some actions could be for others.


Fregola is a Sardinian pasta that is similar in appearance and taste to couscous. I have only recently learned about it but will be ordering some to learn more about it and find out how it differs from couscous.


In 1999 I had ECT (electro convulsive therapy) in an effort to break up a serious depressive episode that was totally destroying my life. Unfortunately the ECT caused me to become very manic and psychotic. I was nearly impossible to live with and difficult to contain. I spent much of this time in a psychiatric hospital as I was so psychiatrically imbalanced that I needed constant observation. The ECT did not dispel the depressive episode but it did cause me to lose my memories for most of at least five years of my life, caused me to have a seizure disorder and created cognitive damage that continues to this day more than eleven years later.


I had a wonderful and longstanding affair with a faculty member of a local university. The man's name was Frank and I loved him very much. I would have liked to marry him but it was not meant to be. When he was ready to marry I was not available and when he was ready to marry again after becoming a widower I was again not available.

I can still remember his Spanish styled house with its lovely wooden floors. He was a loving soul who wanted and needed to be loved as much as I did. It is because we were both so needy that our love was destined to fail. He was much older than I am, in fact he is/was older than my father. He was in poor health many years ago and has probably passes away at this point. I can still say without any hesitation that he was one of the few men in my life that I truly loved.


distaff homespun fait accompli dizen decolletege amateur marrow port (wine, in a storm, medical...your choice) fortification customary profound impeccable complexity escalating clamor enthrall sibilant commune (noun or verb, again, your choice) reunite shards


She held the distaff in her hand as she spun the flax into linen. Steadily she kept at her task spinning the fine thread that would be woven into a cloth that would be sold at the market to help support her family.


So many of the Confederate soldiers wore rough homespun uniforms rather than proper uniforms to denote their rank and position. The blockade of the ports by the Yankee ships was sinking the Confederacy to its knees and taking a terrible toll on the people of the South whether they supported the Union or the Confederacy, they all paid the toll.


The situation seems to be a fait accompli...time is running out and I have physical issues related to body and eyes. I need to write a novel of fifty thousand words to be successful at NaNoWriMo and yet I cannot seem to get my word count up where it needs to be despite my ongoing efforts. I am less than a third of the way where I should be now and don't see how I can catch up and win this round and yet I am unwilling to say "NO" I still want find a way to be a winner to have the bragging rights even though my novel is a shambles and I will have to work extra hard to edit it into something that is a feasible piece of literature. I must keep typing despite all of the strikes I have going against me. This is my passion. I will succeed. I will not give up no matter what.


As she dizened her distaff so that she could spin the fleece into yarn for knitting sweaters, scarves and socks, she spent time imagining what the day would bring and contemplated how she would flee the every day hum drum of her life as soon as she could and find her lover to bed with. She loved his touch. He aroused her so and she found ways to make him wildly passionate in his love making. Oh there was so much life beyond the spinning of yarn.


In her lovely Empire styled frock the decolletege of Iris' dress was daringly low, her cream breasts threatened to break free from her frock leaving her embarrassed by her potential nudity, Iris tugged at her neckline so she would not be overexposed as she awaited a young gentleman to come ask her to dance at the ball.


According to Harlan Ellison amateur writers like myself make it difficult for professional writers because we often allow our work to be used for free and yet, there are markets where we can get our name out in the public if we do allow our writing to be used for free so that hopefully a publisher, agent or editor will see our work and realize that we have the potential to do greater things. I don't think that Mr. Ellison sees us as a threat if we are being paid so much as he sees us as ants to be squashed for giving our work away for free.


After we cooked up bones to make soup we would often scoop out the marrow and spread it on bread to eat in a humble sandwich. We were poor and could not afford to waste anything. The bones we got for free from the butcher were the basis for soups, stews and the aforementioned sandwiches that we ate as our main meals to help us to survive our impoverished lives.


A few days ago was the anniversary of the death of one of my dearest friends, we had been best friends for 26 years and now she has been gone for 13 years for a total of thirty nine years altogether.

When Rita first got sick I took her to the hospital to begin her treatment. One of the first things the doctors had to do was insert a port for her chemotherapy. They had a great deal of trouble installing the port. It took them over three grueling hours. I was standing outside in the hallway hearing Rita's subtle moans as she tried to not cry out in the excruciating pain.

At last the port was installed. The doctors left, I went back into the room and held Rita's hand. We both cried at the ordeal she had just been through.


I have a dear friend who owns a garage who drinks "medicinal" port for fortification so that he can deal with life as it is thrown at him. Johnny is a good man but life has not been kind to him. He has lost his wife, his health and virtually his business because he cannot take care of cares any longer. He has a worthless son who doesn't help him with anything and who is just a parasite who sucks the life out of his father. Even though Johnny can no longer run the garage he goes there every day to feed the feral cats that have come to depend on him. Johnny uses crutches to get around and has fallen, hurting himself badly trying to navigate around on them. His medicinal port is what helps him to get through the day. I am glad he has that for fortification to help him cope with all that comes his way day in and day out.


It is customary in my family to make a big deal of everyone's birthday and treat them in a very special way on their big day. Usually we all get together at a restaurant or our family cabin and celebrate not only the birthday of our dear family member but also the fact that we are still an intact family with every one still alive and somewhat healthy. We all love each other in our own way and rejoice in our ability to enjoy each other's company even if it is in limited doses.


I had a profound thought once but promptly forgot it. LOL!!!! Such silliness is part and parcel of my family and our lives together. If anyone DID have a profound thought and manage to share it we would all be amazed and in awe that someone in our midst could share such an insight with us. We look more toward humor and merriment in our exchanges. We leave the profound to others in the world. We are life's clowns.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My sister is probably the most impeccable member of our family. She styles her hair, wears make up, puts on stylish jewelry and tries to dress nicely most of the time. I find it amusing at times the efforts that she goes to but she probably finds me to be a slatternly slob who could put forth a little more effort in my dress and looks. Hey, I brush my hair and keep it from hanging in my face what more do you want? LOL!!!


There is a definite complexity to my personality, more than one person has called me an enigma. I am capricious and untoward. I do not fit into any molds and in fact I am very good at destroying any boxes that people try to cage me up in. I am my own person. I live my life on my own terms and have paid a very dear price for doing so. It isn't easy being me.


I find that often my temper will be escalating over minute issues that most people wouldn't even notice. I do have little patience for people who are rude in public. The applies especially to people who seem to be glued to their cell phones as if we all want to hear the intimate and boring details of their lives. It is all a bit much. I mean really. No wonder I escalate so easily.


The crowd clamored at his arrest, he had hurt cats in the area, he deserved to be punished for his crimes and yet, the only crime he could be arrested and tried for would be the assault on a human being. We all agreed that the cat napper was wrong to hit the cat protector with a stick and injure him but we wanted justice for our cats too. Proving that this man was THE man who had killed and maimed the cats would be nigh impossible. It is a frustrating situation.


I was enthralled at the complexity of his writing. Jonathan's way with words was detailed and intriguing. He wove a story the way one might a tapestry with the warp and woof intertwining to make a seamless piece of cloth.


Her sibilant phrases echoed through the hall despite the noise of the reveling merry makers. It was amazing, nay even surprising to hear those hissing notes dancing atop the laughter and mirth.


Garth is attempting to reunite the commune as it seems that the time is nigh that we learn to live in community and be self sufficient. The economy is collapsing under the weight of greed and debt. We will need a way to survive the underpinnings of our society giving way and creating ensuing chaos that will surely follow. Life will be dicey to say the least with the fall comes, Garth is a visionary with a good idea, now if we can just follow through and bring the group back together.


I find my life in fractured shards. My health is failing, my income is much less than my basic needs for survival and there is no one to aid or assist me. I am not sick enough for this nor poverty stricken enough for that. My income is fourteen dollars a month too much for additional services and yet me drugs cost me well over two hundred dollars a month but that doesn't count in the equation only my gross income counts.

Prices keep going up and grocery sizes keep shrinking yet the government says that there is no inflation and thus there will be no increase in Social Security payments for the second year in a row.

The inflation index is an artificial tool to fool the masses and screw the poor. I don't know how some people can sleep at night, do you?

November 19th

I have managed to add another six thousand words to my NaNoWriMo novel and yet I am still pulling up short. I have to say that I am pleased with my progress even though I am still woefully behind. I keep writing and writing, trying to make sense of my characters motivation and keep them rolling along with action and activity. At times my plot seems to stagnate but that is for editing days. I only have eleven more NaNo days to go and yet I have more than thirty thousand words to spit out in eleven days. Oh woe is me, woe is me, I sound like a sniveling pitiful child who has no skill for writing or pulling miracles out of the hat. I believe that I was this far behind last year and finished with a day to spare but I must say that I did not have the visual problems last year that I have this year. I really need my eyes to see so that I can, in fact, write. Ah, there is the rub but I will persevere and all will be well. I have decreed it to be so.

Last night I thought of something as being festive which reminded me of my friend from long ago, Conrad. Conrad was a sweet little nelly chap who was one of my closest friends for years before he betrayed me but back in the days that we gamboled about and enjoyed each other's company he went through a phase where everything was festive, I think he had been inspired by Rio's Carnival and picked up on the word and played with it for many weeks. It was a fun time because, of course, everything was festive.

I looked Conrad up on Facebook and his avatar picture was one that was taken back when he and I were running around and enjoying life together. There are more recent pictures of him on his profile too but age has taken some of the boyish curves from his face. Age has taken its toll on us all hasn't it.

I was tempted to see about adding Conrad as a friend but thought better of it, his betrayal not once but twice had stung so much that I just didn't want to take any chances. I have have hurt enough in this life already.


November 20th

Well, last night in my novel I wrote some about Conrad, our onetime friendship and his betrayal. As I wrote about Conrad, I thought of and wrote about Donnie and his many, many betrayals of me. This added a lot of fodder for my main character to chew on and work with.

Donnie was seeing a former friend of mine, in fact, they had been engaged when they were in high school. Donnie got drafted and while he was in 'Nam she got knocked up by someone else and married him. Donnie couldn't believe that she "couldn't keep her pants up for two years" while he was in the service and believe me after her betrayal of him he never kept his pants up for anyone ever again.

My friend, Karen, told me that she quit seeing Donnie because her husband Sam was getting suspicious, at which time Donnie happened to ask me out and we started a tempestuous sixteen year relationship. Most of that sixteen years was spent with me waiting for him to grow up and become a man. I also hoped he would either stop drinking or learn to drink responsibly (neither happened).

Donnie would tell me he loved me and wanted to marry me (we got three marriage licenses that were returned unused) and then he would disappear with some old hank that he would shack up with for several months and then he'd appear again pledging his love to me. I quit having sex with him early on. I wasn't ready to play sexual Russian Roulette because I never knew where his stick had been dipped. At the same time I decided to become totally celibate until I could make a good choice in a relationship. I was celibate for fourteen years.

I saw Donnie many times in those fourteen years, he often wanted to have sex but soon learned that "no" meant "HELL NO!" He would still come see me and hang around for a week to six months and then disappear for months or even years at a time without a word then out of the blue he was back again. I loved him too much. I think I was crazy.

Donnie finally put an end to me ever even considering him as a boyfriend again or seeing him at any time by calling me to ask me to do a three way with he and his wife. I was aghast and appalled. I told him what I thought of his request, told him that hell would freeze over before I ever considered seeing him again and then hung up. Well, over the years he has called a few times like he used to do and I have told him a quick "Goodbye." I now have and an unlisted number. I don't think he has the balls to come to my house even though I have lived in the same house for over 25 years. He just isn't man enough to face me in person.

As for being celibate well, I met the right woman and put an end to celibacy. I like men but my Teffers is the right partner for me. We have been together for almost 15 years and it has been GREAT! She was worth the wait.

Let me tell you the stories of Conrad and Donnie certainly spiced up my NaNoWriMo novel. How could a tale like the one with Donnie not add a little heat? He used to be built like Adonis and made such sweet love to me...too bad he didn't know how to be a man.


November 21st

I have been working on my NaNo and decided to take a break to see what was up on Facebook. So many surprises there. First someone from the sixth grade, Loretta Talley found me on Facebook and had even posted our class picture from the sixth grade on Facebook. Loretta was and is a very sweet girl. I was amazed that she even remembered me, we only went to school together for one year but I must have made some kind of good impression for her to look for me.

The sixth grade was possibly one of the worst years of my life. My family had just moved back to Arkansas from Louisiana. I was in my third school in two years. I went from where we played marbles at recess to a place where two of my classmates were being screwed by their father and stepfather. I learned about incest, family secrets, family violence and the rages of alcoholism all in one year.

My own family was coming unglued. Daddy was working in excess of sixty hours a week, mom was suffering a severe depressive episode with psychotic features, my school teachers were hellish and I was the target child of emotional, verbal and physical abuse by my parents. I finally snapped myself. If I was going to be treated like a hell child just for breathing I was going to show the world what a hell child was. I became angry and raging. This did not stop for several years, in fact it is still just beneath the surface, that is how much damage was done in that one year of my life.

I found out once Loretta discovered me on Facebook that there were a lot of us who had survived the same hell at school in the sixth grade, we shared stories, I learned that other students referred to my teacher as the "witch" of Pulaski Heights. I cannot tell you the healing that has taken place since Loretta found me and I have connected with other people from my class.

Two of the people I connected with have serious psychiatric disorders, I sincerely doubt that they are in treatment. It is painful to read some of their postings. I would like to talk to them about their illnesses but I sense they are in serious denial. I am so glad that I am in treatment for my psychiatric diagnoses as my life would be hell if I were not. It has been an uphill battle to get the treatment I need but I am glad to finally be getting good medication management.

Also on FaceBook I have met up with people from junior high and high school. People I hung out with and others I just had classes with. It has been great. Sometimes I am surprised at the people who "friend" me but it is all good. I am probably one of the few people from my classes living in abject poverty. That is quite the bummer but I am who I am and I will not see myself as "less than" because I don't have money or take fancy trips to exotic locales. I am my on special someone and try to remember that at all times.

Very recently an old boyfriend found me on Facebook, probably one of the few people that I had a decent "break up" with and I have to say that I wasn't very good to him when we were together. I wish I could change that but I cannot. He was a good guy and I was one messed up little stoner chick with the hots for a smokin' Italian guy who barely knew that I was alive. Ed survived me being a butt head to him and thinks kindly of me, that is nice. It is pleasant to have conversation with a man who you knew as a boy and to find that he is not just a man but a decent man. Ed is one of three guys from high school who I am very thrilled to connect with and find out what upstanding guys they are. It is a nice experience.

The females I have connected with have not been as "connected" as some of the guys but then I guess the gals and I had less in common than the guys and I did. Kind of sad in a way but that is life.

Ciao! I wonder,,,

My relationship with my son is fractured to say the least. I don't know what happened but in his last semester of high school my son became a stranger to me and 15 years later that has not changed in the least.

Shortly after he "graduated" from high school he decided to have a fight with me that I am still not sure what it is about and then he moved in with my mother who fed into his line of crap and to seal the deal that they were bonded over and above his relationship with me, she took him to buy a brand new truck and he signed over the truck that I had worked so hard to be able to buy for him. I could have used that truck but instead it was given first to my mother and then to my sister who then sold it to a neighbor. This all happened with a truck that I bought and paid for and that my name was on.

This is just one example of how he started blowing me off. He didn't have time for me but had time for everyone else, a situation that continues to this day. He eventually left Little Rock, went to Seattle to live with his father who didn't have the time of day for him while he was growing up. After about 18 months he came back to Little Rock for less than a year then moved back to Seattle to be with his dad again. With each move and action he became more of a stranger to me.

While he was in Seattle he came home to visit once, went to his brother's wedding, had an alchoholic bender and then finally showed up late for a dinner being held in his honor.

Despite all the crap Sean threw at the entire family during this time when he decided to move back again my mother treated him like he was a returning hero, I wished he would stay in Seattle, it hurt less to deal with his crap when he wasn't around. He came back to Little Rock, fucked everybody over royally, then acted like he was the victim. His behavior was so much like his father's that it made me sick. It was like he could throw out whatever crap he wanted to and then expect everyone to over look it. Everyone was mad at Sean, Sean started a business and screwed over customers royally. It left a black mark on us all.

Then finally a few days before Thanksgiving 2006 my hot water heater started leaking, I called my son the plumber for help. He said he'd be over in 40 minutes. I am still waiting, it is November 21st, 2010. I'd say he is a little late. I had to call another plumber. Because we were supposed to go to his house for dinner and I could not pretend any longer that nothing was wrong, I canceled my acceptance of dinner plans. My mother and sister followed suite...there was a huge breach with much anger. Sean was the one who was wronged and we were the evil villians, not him.

This was all complicated by the fact that Sean still legally owned the van that I was making payments on. I made the payments but he did not make payments to the finance company. I never knew if my van was going to be repossessed or not. The van was finally paid of but Sean never would cooperate with me getting a title for it. He was refusing to see me or speak to me, wouldn't let me see my grand daughter and yet I was paying his personal property taxes which were expensive so that I could get license plates on the van to be able to drive it.

This situation drug on for years, in the ensuing time my son and daughter in law had another baby, Ashley. When Ashley was 8 months old they found out that she had cancer, at age 11 months she died. I never got to see or hold Ashley. I was "allowed" to go to the funeral and rosary for her. There is a hole in my heart that is being slow to mend.

After Ashley's death I was "allowed" to go to my other grand daughter, Kimbo's birthday party. She was three at the time. There have been sporadic visits with the family since then. We did get to have Christmas Eve breakfast with them in 2009.

Another grandchild has been born September 2010, her name is Jessica. The relationship is still strained and is more distant still because Sean's step-mother has moved to Little Rock and his father will be moving here soon. There is no room for Steve and I both in Sean's life. I don't know what to do. I am just sick about it.

The situation was tentative as it was but my father recently had a hospital stay and Sean didn't find out about it until after the fact and I think he blames me for not telling him about it. I am in a "can't" win situation. I just go through every day with a child who lives about 12 blocks away but it may as well be on the other side of the world.

My heart is in shreds. I love my son so much. I love my daughter in law, my step-grandson and my two precious grand daughters. I want to have a relationship with them and yet everything is so out of balance. I just don't know what to think or do. It is a mess. This has been a living hell for fifteen years and I am clueless as to how it can be better. Sigh!


Sometimes I just don't know about things. I try to understand the world around me and write about it but at other times I am just clueless. Last night I wrote about the situation with my son and I have pondered what I wrote since then. I have no new clear insights. I am still just as much as a loss as I have been over the past fifteen years. As I said last night, this was so much easier when he was in Washington because it wasn't all right in my face and now it is going to be even more in my face with Dr. Dickhead and his wife being here.

I do have to say that Dr. D and Maria were very, very good to Patricia when she was up in Seattle with a dying child. It was the first time they really stepped up to the parent role for any of their children. Hell, they went on a family vacation to Disney Land when their youngest son was undergoing chemotherapy for Hodgekin's Disease. My son Sean took care of his baby brother at the time (ok, baby brother was about 17 but still to LEAVE your kid to go for a Disney vacation when he is undergoing chemotherapy is fucking irresponsible. Period, end of question.)

So to say that Dr. D and Maria have been less than stellar parents is an understatement. Their children have not finished high school, much less attended college. They have entry level jobs at the ages of 32, 30 and 29. They are incapable of taking care of themselves on an adult level at all. Now Sean, my son, has made HUGE mistakes and done STUPID shit, he does at least act like an adult on occasion and he has stepped into the father role with his younger siblings on many occasions.

Still and all, I am flabbergasted at why he has so little regard for me when my life revolved around him and work. I worked like a dog so he could have the things he wanted and then I spent as much time with him and for him as I could. Obviously it was not enough.

There is such a huge breach in my family, no one in my family wants to have anything to do with Sean and his family and vice versa. Sean does reach out to mom and dad some. He has more regard for mom than he does for me despite the fact that she has fucked him over royally more than once. She does that well. I love her but I really do come from a most dysfunctional family. For a family where the parents have been together for more than 50 years, no cheating, no alcoholism, daddy is OCD, mom has psychotic depression and when she is psychotic watch out it gets really crazy so we have our family secrets but damn I know families with many more family secrets and they are much more functional than my family we are just totally fucked up and yet we love each other despite our flaws. We don't necessarily like each other but we do tolerate each other admirably perhaps because we have experienced so much craziness together.

Sean got left out and became a target for so much anger but then his behavior while unacceptable is shit that my parents let him get away with for years so it is no wonder that he is fucking confused as to why people are mad at him now for doing the same old shit. Hell, it confuses me too.

My brother is finally in a VERY healthy relationship after being in a shitty relationship for about 28 years. We all LOVE his new girlfriend and hope that they make it as a couple. She is an angel. We think she is wonderful. The boys, my nephews, like her too. That is good. The boys love their mother but they sure don't like her, she is a drug addicted psycho bitch from hell. Sunshine, the new girlfriend is so a delightful contrast to all that craziness.

My sister is married to an old fart who can be such an ass. I am not sure why she loves him but she says she does and that he loves her too. I don't really see it but they have been together for about 14 years and married for over 11 years and don't show signs of splitting up. My sister is one of the most spazz ass human beings I have ever known. She is OCD and bi-polar too. Her symptoms are not under control and she can be such the crazy woman she spends money like it is water and doesn't understand how she becomes so broke so much of the time. It is insane. Her husband spends money like crazy too, I don't know how they stay out of the poor house. They lost hundreds of thousands of dollars when the stock market crashed but they do have real estate and land does grow in value, especially where their's is.

I am a bi-sexual, bi-polar who has OCD and PTSD. I am not fun to live with. I am a bitch. I don't know how my girlfriend puts up with me. I love her so much but I can be hell on wheels at times. I have mellowed out a lot over the years and that helps but gosh I'd like to be on an even keel like she is. My Teffers is very zen and I love that about her.

Ciao! So Very Totally Flummoxed

The title of this novel is "Totally Flummoxed" and this author is just that. This is a novel about a brazen red haired hussy circa 1980...she is singing country songs all of the time, mostly "Luckenbock, Texas" by Waylon Jennings. She sees Luckenbock as a place that she can literally go to and escape her life. She is recently divorced, living with her parents which is pure hell as they are treating her like she is sixteen again. She is an adult with a child. She makes sure that her child is cared for but she wants to enjoy life and not just be tied to the constricted existence her parents are trying to force on her.

She is going to school full time and KNOWS that she should have never moved back in with her parents. They are unwilling to acknowledge that she is an adult and that she can engage in adult behaviors as long as she respects that she is living in her parents home. Finally after much hell and aggravation she has had all she can take of being with her parents so she makes arrangements to move out of their home and be a roommate with a very trashy woman that she met in some apartments she had lived in while she was married.

The woman had maintained a relationship with Lavonne and was now moving in with her even though it was a dicey situation but it is better than living with her parents. MC gets a job as a community organizer and is very active in the Democratic Party politics of the 1980 presidential election. It looks like Jimmy Carter will not maintain the White House but Ted Kennedy's run against him just further splinters the already devastated Democratic Party.

MC is not making enough money to pay rent and childcare too so she gets a job at a local answering service. The job starts at a little above minimum wage and because MC learns job so quickly she soon gets a small raise but this helps to pay the bills.

Lavonne's brother a Merchant Seaman comes to town. He and MC hook up, have an affair of sorts Dave, the brother, is virtually impotent. This remains a secret between Dave and MC.

Dave is very possessive of MC which chafes her because she is very promiscuous and wants her freedom to chose her sexual partners to meet her needs. This makes Dave angry but he doesn't do anything to make up for his inability to maintain an erection. He expects her to be faithful but there is not really a relationship to be faithful too.

Dave keeps talking about leaving and MC encourges him to do so because she wants to be free of him and his oppresive behaviors. He keeps postphoneing leaving and in a crazy act of desparation because she can't get rid of him MC marries Dave. Two days later he leaves to go to see on oil tanker.

MC has fight with roommate/SIL and moves into her grandmother's house. MC workds at answering service, dates and has affairs with customers because she could care less about the mearrige she felt coerced to acaquiece to. Dave finds out she is out most of the night and gets angry...she was actually out talking with a woman friend just drinking coffee and blabbing. He has fit, she says if he doesn't trust her then he needs to come home and get job here.

Dave decides to come back to town. MC drives to Mississippi to pick him up. He is a dick. He remains a total prick on the trip back home. While MC is at work a few days later he basically kidnaps his sister's seven year old son because he doesn't think she is taking adequate care of him. She actually isn't but that isn't real reason for his actions. He is looking for a fight.

MC talks him into returning kid and gets physically abused by husband. Physical, verbal and emotional abuse are ongoing. He finally leaves house one day and she is glad of it. She will be glad to get a divorce. He comes back, begs her to take him back and like an idiot she does. BTW, she is working he is not he is watching tv all day and making trouble with his sister.

Finally after MC goes to grocery store with son, Dave has a screaming fit because he thought she was gone too long and accuses her of whoring around, with kid at her side, yeah right. He starts hitting on her, kid runs in says don't hit my mommy and Dave knocks kid up against the wall. He is lucky he survived. MC picks up chair, knocks him in head with it, then kicks him in the head with him bleeding and dares him to get up. She sees what a pussy he really is. She picks up crying son, gets purse and leaves not caring how badly the SOB is hurt.

She goes to live with grandmother. MC works full time, takes care of kid and tries to have a life. MC works the night shift and has son in daycare during the day. She divorces second husband and never looks back.

MC falls in love with two men at the same time. They are as different as night and day, although they both need to grow up and quit abusing substances one pot, the other alcohol. MC has several affairs going on at one time. She is promiscuous but actually looking for love. After about 6 months MC learns that grandmother has cancer. MC changes job shifts to be double shifts on weekend only so that she can take care of grandmother. Grandmother's cancer progresses rapidly. She is diagnosed late may and dies on July 31st.

MC decides to go back to college, she keeps working double shifts on the weekend and goes to college to finish degree. She takes double class load both semesters and gradutates after doing two years of work in one year.

After college graduation has hard time finding job in social services field, stays at answering service, goes to 3rd shift job, still dates some but not so much. Relationship with both men she loves in toilet. One guy hung up on bitch of a woman and can't commit, the other just won't commit and will fuck anything with a cunt. MC decides to be celibate after New Year's 1982 when one of the men she loves moves in with one of her best friends. MC realizes that cannot make good choices in relationships and so quits having relationships.

Does see other guy she loves on occasion when he stops by but refuses to have sex with him! He is very erratic, gets married twice, gets divorced, gets back with 1st wife over next 10 years.

MC gets offered a job as an aide, mostly clerical, at Social Services, takes job but continues to work at answering service on weekends because she had to take HUGE pay cut to take job at Social Services but has potential to be higher paying job in future.

MC works at Social Services, gets progressively more responsibility with job and then after 6 months gets promotion. Goes to work as child protective services worker. Quits working at answering service as is working 60 to 80 hours a week at regular job and is working part time at local organ bank as well.

MC spends 4 years doing protective services work, foster care and child sexual abuse investigations. After this time gets promotion to job providing support in field to other county offices. Only lasts at this job about 4 months due to ethical issues and will not violate personal ethics to maintain job.

Goes to work in private non-profit sector as a child abuse investigator. After about 9 months gets promotion to director of investigations. Works pretty much around the clock primarily going home to shower, change clothes and spend short amount of time with son. Serious burnout ensues, when MC has to have a hysterectomy she is expected to work from her hospital bed 2nd day after surgery and has to go back to work full time 10 days after surgery because of demands of job. Finally total collapse from burn out. Leaves job, goes to graduate school to get MSW so won't have to do so much field work.

MC has rocky time in graduate school including son being bitten by a brown recluse, almost dying and having neurological side effects due to bite going systemic. MC does finish graduate school with good grades. gets job in mental health field but is still doing case mangagement because that is her first love in working with people. Still working 60 plus hours a week.

After 3 years gets promotion more responsibility more work time but no more pay. Spends three years at job then goes back to case management for a little over a year. Finally, during major depressive episode has major burnout episode and unable to work full time again. Major depressive episode lasted another year and a half. MC has ECT in an effort to break up depression, MC becomes manic and psychotic. This has adverse effect on personal life. MC ends up on disability, depresive episode finally ends but due to problems wiht ECT MC ends up with seizure disorder, severe memory loss (most of 5 years of her life are erased) and cognitive impairment.

MC has started selling personal belongings to keep from losing home and car. MC had begun a longterm personal relationship right before becoming so depressed, her female partner also became ill and almost died as a result of an appendectomy that went bad. Problems with incision healing, took 4 years to heal and recurrent bouts of MRSA.

Finally some healing for both...what started out as two professional women at the top of their game ended up as two women on disability eeking out a living.

Ciao! Life with Teffers

How can I begin to describe the best 14 plus years of my life? I don't really know. At work in August of 1994 I was assigned to work with a paraprofessional to help handle my caseload. A few weeks after I met her she pulled out a lipstick to put it on and I fell smooth in love with her. Now there was a problem or two here. I was her boss and I didn't know she was a lesbian. I have a penchant for falling in love with unavailable people.

A few weeks later I find out she IS a lesbian but that she is living with another woman. Now it turns out that she is not "living with" this other woman, they are just roommates but I didn't know that. I was smooth smitten with this woman and she was taken.

I tried to do my TWO jobs and supervise Miss Teffers while trying to ignore the fact that I want her in the WORST way. I had it BAD!!!! As life is going on, I find out that she wasn't "with" her roommate but through her she has met someone she IS in love with. I was CRUSHED I didn't care about company policies and what have you. I wanted a chance to be with this woman.

Well, she moved in wiht the woman she was in love with and let's just say it was NOT a marriage made in heaven. There were many problems and after eight months there was a split and Miss Teffers was living within a mile of me. She also needed assistance about her daughter and school. Well, let's just say that I helped her out iwth the situation and was available if she needed me. A co-worker who was CLUELESS about the lesbian issue kept telling me that Teff was getting calls all of the time from "the other woman." This broke my heart because I was afraid they'd get back together.

Well, I needn't have worried because Teffers was not interested in getting back with her ex for her own good and for the good of her daughter. As it turned out her daughter and I bonded rather well.

On Christmas Day, Teffers had to work with me and after work was doing laundry at the facility. I visited with her as she did laundry. That was Christmas 1995, since then we have been virtually inseperable.

We would spend time together, go out to eat together and, of course, her daughter would go with us. Sometimes Zyoh (her daughter) would go skating with friends and we'd go have dinner while waitng for her.

Finally on February 16th, 1996 this situation came to a head. Zyoh was spending the night with a friend and Teffers and I were together. It turned out her hand was cold. I took her cold little patty cake into my hand and she rubbed her thumb on my hand and the top of my head almost blew off with desire. I pulled back a bit made sure she didn't feel that she was being coerced into a relationship because I was her boss. She said no and we never, ever looked back. We managed to "go slow" for three days. After that things got hot and heavy. For a while Zyoh didn't see much of either one of use because we were either working or making out.

Finally, in April Tefferes was sick and Zyoh knew that I would take care of her. They basically moved in at that point even though they didn't move in officially until August.

Teffers left the agency in December, right in time to have to have surgery, fortunately her insurance was COBRA'd and then I changed jobs in January. We celebrate our anniversary of starting to date on February 16th and our hand fasting on May first. We never fail to mention the fact that we have been virtually inseparable since Christmas 1995.

We have had a long hard climb. Teffers was sick from December 1996 until May 1997. She started school in August 1997. I lost my best friend to cancer November 15, 1997. I hit bottom with burnout March 5th, 1998. I started ect June 1999, Teffers had her emergency appendectomy in July of 1999. I had a slow climb out of psychosis and depression. Teffers incision took FOUR years to heal. She had 5 surgeries and 4 month long hospitalizations during this period. I had to do intensive and invasive bandage changes during this time.

Zyoh became depressed with everything that was going on and had a HUGE rift with her father. Teffers son Tizzle27 had some issues during this time with college and financial difficulties. We were living on less than 25% of our previous income and had numerous bills and issues to pay for. We had moments of tension but we grew stronger as a couple and still share our lives together.

We went from being at the top of our game to both being disabled but we get by. It is an interesting life. Very Poor Novice Writing

in toto ~ The situation had to be looked at in toto, there was no way to dissect the puzzle pieces that comprised the whole, that would have taken too much time and energy. This was a "big picture" project that required vision and the ability to see beyond the obvious.

semantics ~ To many people like to play games with semantics, it is better to just say what is on one's mind than to piddle around with language usage that is better utilized in academic papers rather than in every day conversation.

fatuous ~ Jaybo is often full of fatuous comments in his status on Facebook. He loves to be a punster and plays games with words and semantics to be outright silly at times.

vitiate ~ Politicians often vitiate situations by playing pork barrel games and engaging in rhetoric rather than addressing the needs of people who elected them to protect their rights and to address their needs not to play semantics rubbish.

comminate ~ When one uses the word comminate visions of St. George and the dragon as well as Michael the Archangel and Lucifer come to mind. It reeks of acts of vengeance and retribution.

avuncular ~Mr. Moody behaved in an avuncular manner toward young Percy and was quite the mentor toward him, however Mr. Moody's intentions were not as upstanding as they had seemed at first blush. Mr. Moody victimized poor Percy time and time again until Percy could take it no longer and eviscerated Mr. Moody as retribution for his crimes.

cozen ~ Mr. Moody had cozened up to several of the vulnerable young men in the community. Taking them under his wing and then ravishing them when he got the opportunity. Many came to Percy's defense when he murdered the pedophile Mr. Moody.

euphemism ~ Tattle is a euphemism for telling tales out of school or even gossiping about others in a manner that would bring retribution to the hapless victim of the vicious and contentious accusations.

homespun ~ The widow spent her time crafting homespun yarn to be woven in to plain and simple clothes for her children as that was all she could afford. Their clothes might be home crafted but they were always clean and cared for.

misogamy ~ Many accuse me of misogamy when I have nothing against this institution of marriage in and of itself but do not believe that it should be forced upon those who have no desire to enter into a religious or civil contract with another. People should be able to choose partners as they will without expectations of marriage.

tedium ~ I find housework to be the height of tedium and will do almost anything I can to avoid same. I have never felt the need to be in the role of chattel and in my point of view housework is the domain of servants and hired help.

sienna ~ The skirt was a lovely burnt sienna color and the blouse was a forest green with sienna colored embroidery decorating it. Clara looked quite fetching in the outfit.

aesthete ~Harold was the consummate aesthete as he had much pleasure in the arts and would travel the world to visit museums and view grand architecture.

macerate ~ In order to make raisins more palatable in baked goods one needs to macerate them in water or juice prior to mixing the raisins in the batter so that they are soft and plump in the final baked product.

rotund ~ At five feet tall and three hundred pounds I am more than rotund I am corpulent to the maximum degree. If I were any heavier I would be almost debilitated by my weight.

feculent ~ After working all day in the fields the farmers britches were feculent and needed to be removed before he entered the house. They were thrown into a waiting tub of water so they could soak in order to make cleaning easier.

fulsome ~ It was a fulsome bounty of food placed upon the table which squeaked in protest over the heaviness of the feast laid before us.

enfant terrible ~ Simpson was an enfant terrible who shocked and appalled everyone at his rude and unconventional behavior.

batten ~ I ordered the crew to batten down the hatches as there was an icy gale battering the ship and creating a hazard that might cause use to sink.

shanghai ~ Male citizens of the United Kingdom were often shanghaied by the Royal Navy and forced to work upon the ships in often grueling conditions.

bedlam ~ There was complete bedlam in the day care center when the monkey brought by the zoo for show and tell escaped from the keeper and began running wildly around the facility.

obdurate ~ She was quite obdurate in her position on the subject. Nothing could compel her to change her mind despite entreaties and petitions from the people around her.

quiescence ~ The quiescence before the storm had lulled the populace into a sense of security that was soon destroyed when the tornado ripped through the town.

congeries ~ The joint was a congeries of boxes, papers and clothes all strewn about willy-nilly, hither and yon with no forethought whatsoever.

alpha-male ~ George fancied himself an alpha-male until Randall began to work at the agency and George then found himself very low on the pecking order.

uninhibited ~ Sally was totally uninhibited in her behavior. She had no qualms about stripping totally naked, climbing up on a table and dancing during the agency Christmas party. The odd thing was that she had not been drinking alcoholic beverages, it was just her natural personality.

resonance ~ His total resonance with the project was more than admirable it was amazing as he had never shown such a predilection for being so proactive in the past. His initiative was remarkable.

novice ~ I am just a novice at writing. I have spent many years trying to hone my craft and yet the ability to get my words from my brain to the keyboard often eludes me.

tapestry ~ the tapestry was richly woven and depicted battle scenes from the epic, "Beowulf."

foible ~ I have many foibles, not the least of which is a predilection for eating fast food even though it is not healthy for me.


hardboiled ~ Cy was a hardboiled detective, he never took any guff off of anyone and he was single minded in his pursuit of the truth in any case that he took. Cy never let sentiment get in his way. He didn't curry favor and he called the shots like he saw them. Cy didn't have a lot of friends but in his business friends just got in the way. He needed connections and facts but no personal attachments.

cogent ~ Della made a cogent and compelling case for why her lover couldn't have been responsible for the death of her husband. They had been together at a party in Hawaii when her husband was gunned down in New Jersey. It seemed that the alibi was tight but the police detectives wondered if Della's lover, Sal, had someone in Jersey who took care of the dirty business for him.

moot ~ It was a moot point about whether or not Della's lover, Sal, had been involved in her husband's death because when they arrived back in Jersey City, Sal met with an untimely end himself. Could Della be the puppet master pulling the strings?

dilettante ~ Sharon was a dilettante when it came to her study of music. She made a great show of studying the art but when it came time to dedicate herself to practice, Sharon couldn't be bothered.

tussle ~ Frank and Ernie were often seen tussling about in the grass, each trying to top the other. For twins they seemed to be more rivals than co-conspirators.

popinjay ~ Bernie was quite the popinjay; he fancied himself to be quite the man about town in his Italian silk suits, hand tailored shirts and crocodile loafers.

foster ~ Clara wanted to foster goodwill with the Coggins family because they had connections that she felt she could use to her advantage to get a good job that would pay well and help her to support her young son.

sanctuary ~ The animal sanctuary was protected by laws as well as animal guardians who wanted to assure that the endangered species were watched over and that no poachers would kill the animals for trophies or bush meat.

consecutive ~ The Macy's parade has been held for more than 80 consecutive years on Thanksgiving and was started by Macy's employees who were homesick for the parades that had taken place in their hometowns. Many millions of people now benefit from the actions taken by lonesome Macy's workers so very many years ago.

retrograde ~ Mercury retrograde is considered to be an astrological event in which there can be issues with communication. Many people pay attention to Mercury retrograde so that they can avoid issues regarding the subject of communication and personal discussions so that there are fewer opportunities for misunderstanding.

wryly ~ Sam commented wryly that the showgirls were less than attractive and seemed to be of a lesser quality that were in productions throughout the rest of Las Vegas.

brusque ~ Sid's manner toward Sally was brusque and abrupt. There was no reason for him to take her to task over such a small error. He made plenty of mistakes himself and no one ever talked to him like that.

proficient ~ Lucille was proficient at typing and could out pace any of the other secretaries in the pool, that is why when it came time for a promotion there was no question as to who would be the new assistant to the director.

torpid ~Joe's behavior was sluggish and torpid, it looked as if he had been drinking or drugged. The foreman couldn't have a backhoe driver in that state so he sent him home and told him to get some rest so he could work the next day.

penultimate ~ The penultimate chapter of Stilettos and Shirley Temples was disappointing only because we knew that the story was coming to an end and we wanted to see what the "Scot" and Mercedes might be up to next.

turgid ~ The king was turgid in his responses to the duke and made the rest of the court wonder what had transpired between the two men to create such a bombastic attitude on the part of the king.

stringent ~ William was a stringent taskmaster who made sure that everyone worked to their maximum capability to get the job done in the quickest and most efficient manner possible.

supercilious ~ Sarah was often supercilious in her attitude toward her coworkers which did not endear her to the rest of the sales staff. Because of her attitude the other clerks would try to keep her from serving the best customers.

intrinsic ~ The intrinsic value of the ring was more than Valarie had ever imagined. She had known it was a stunning piece but she was not prepared when she learned its true value.

uxorious ~ James had an uxorious attitude toward Penny. Their friends did not know what he saw in his wife and yet his dedication and fondness for her never wavered.

diabolical ~ Ruth plotted a diabolical plan for killing off her husband Fred because she was tired of listening to his droning about his past glories and she wanted to be free to explore a new life for herself.

redacted ~ Theodore redacted the book carefully because he wanted to impress his agent and editor. He had worked hard to get this story accepted and he did not want to blow his chance for future publication by being sloppy the first time out.

childlike ~ Sherry had a certain childlike quality about her that endeared her to friends, coworkers and family alike. She was charming and precious, her naivete was genuine and part of her intrinsic personality.

tremulous ~ Leo was tremulous as Alisha took his turgid penis into her cherry lipped mouth and began to suck on it with a passion that he had never felt from a woman before. It took all of his resolve to not ejaculate in her mouth and withdraw himself so that he could also give her pleasure as she had given him.

gap-toothed ~ Erica was gap-toothed and yet her smile was charming and lit up the countenance of complete strangers.

maniacal ~ Michael was maniacal as he tore through the house looking for some sign of his suspected infidelities on Leona's part. He hadn't been able to prove anything but he just knew that she was sleeping with Eddie.

leveraged ~ The leveraged buyout of the company created feelings of ill will between the two men who had once been close friends and business partners.

ursine ~ With his thick black hair on his chest and back Robert had a rather ursine appearance that appealed to Louisa who liked running her fingers through his hair.

gooseneck ~ The goosenecked lamp on the desk offered more than enough light for Earnest to adequately see the story he was writing.

chanterelle ~ Chanterelles and morels are mushrooms that can be hard to come by and are picked by people who have been mushroom gatherers for generations.

wispy ~ Her wispy, fine hair was easily disarrayed by the breeze. No amount of barettes or hairspray could keep it in place.

gobsmacked ~ Edward was absolutely gobsmacked when he found out that he had won the lottery. In an instant he realized that his dreams had come true.

binoculars ~ The binoculars were handy for the bird watching expedition and Sherilyn was particularly excited at seeing a tufted titmouse.

sloth ~ His lugubrious behavior reminded her of a sloth and she wondered for the umpteenth time why she had ever married him.

telephone ~ The telephone rang incessantly but it was a wrong number. The caller did not seem to believe this and continued to call over and over again.

cupboard ~ The cupboard was filled with all kinds of goodies, canned yams, strawberry preserves and fresh peaches that had been put up by Stacy's grandmother Mildred.

laminated ~ The sign was laminated and put on the fence so that the delivery people would take packages to the side door rather than taking them to the front porch.

milkshake ~ The chalky barium had the consistency of a milkshake and was hard for Elaine to swallow although she knew that the tests she was to have were important.

mirrored ~ The mirrored ceiling sparked Jillian's imagination and she could imagine watching Brad go down on her in the tiles that were above the bed.

Chardonnay ~ The Chardonnay was delicious and delicate. It nicely complimented the Chicken Paprika and fresh asparagus.

wharf ~ The wharf was covered with tourists who were eagerly taking pictures of the sea lions out sunning themselves on the barges and rocks.

screen ~ The screen had holes in it from the cats climbing on it. This allowed flies to get into the house and annoy the little dog who did not like being buzzed by the flies.

fire pit ~ The fire pit was filled with hot coals and we roasted wieners and marshmallows. It was a wonderful time just the kids and I enjoying the great outdoors together.

gruel ~ The gruel was thick and lumpy. It reminded me of wallpaper paste and I could barely gag it down.

Tumultous Luminaries Posted 10-09-2010 at 07:25 PM by ardeeann arcane tumult impulsive requisite climactic supporting luminaries straddles dilipidated manifesto environs repression extensive vigilante inquisitive profligate


The dilapidated shack straddles a stream and anyone inquisitive enough to explore can see through the cracks in the floor to view the water glowing as brightly as luminaries when the sun shines on it at just the right angle.

The environs of the place invite a rather extensive feeling of repression and could lead to teams of vigilantes scouring the surrounding woods for ne'er-do-wells who live profligate lives and dwell in the underbrush and thickets.

In the winter they use the shack to protect them better from the elements but run the risk of being routed out by the vigilantes and latter day posses who try to rid the world of those they do not wish to have any risk of associating with. It is a risk they take for the winters are so bitter and cold. Their behavior is carefully planned and they have lookouts to warn them of the arcane marauding bands of cretins who are unwilling to share even the woods and forest with those who have no home to call their own and who live on the frayed edges of our society.

The righteous few would brazenly create manifestos against the homeless and discuss them as vermin who need to be eradicated and as a festering sore upon society completely denying the humanity of those about who they speak. These folks filled with righteous indignation create tumult among their peers whipping them into a climactic frenzy and supporting their innate fears with irrational arguments.

There are no lights or luminaries to shine the true path of humane response in these diatribes and all too often sane responses are unheard by the masses. The homeless and hopeless must fend for themselves in this hostile environment of nature and human ignorance.

Ciao! The Courtesan traipsed... Posted 09-17-2010 at 11:44 PM by ardeeann fulminate impenetrable isolate contemplation swathed manipulate prudery anecdote deceitful atavistic annex simpatico futile adversarial conventional antidote misgivings courtesan traipsed


It was an impenetrable isolated annex to the complex and yet despite her misgivings the courtesan traipsed through the adversarial situation in what was supposed to have been a futile mission. Whatever misgivings she may have had about the trip her inner strength was an antidote to same.

This is no anecdote the courtesan was simpatico and there were those who would overcome their own fulminations to manipulate the situation to the advantage of the lovely courtesan who was swathed in silks and jewels despite the harrowing trip they would be taking through the seemingly impenetrable annex.

The whole trip through the atavistic passages involved some denial of prudery on the part of the soldiers who aided the courtesan despite their concerns about her relationship with the king. They knew it was wrong and yet they were so taken with her beauty and kindness they knew that they had to help her with this project through the mazes.

The courtesan was grateful and gifted them with coins and jewels for their efforts. The courtesan needed an escape route available in case courtiers tried to isolate her from the king and conspire against her so she was extra grateful to the soldiers who had sided with her.

Spendid, goofy jejune writing from a fuddyduddy Posted 09-09-2010 at 09:13 PM by ardeeann splendid goofy jarred horizontal fuddyduddy vernacular optional terrifying jejune vainglorious odoriferous puerile nubile extract bedfellow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted a nubile "bedfellow" but instead ended up with a vainglorious puerile goofy fuddyduddy who was terrifying in his own way. I realized that bedding him was optional and as he was odoriferous to say the least I decided that it was a splendid idea to leave him hanging and let him wait for a partner who wasn't quite so picky.

I realize that this little paragraph is dreadfully jejune and that I didn't use any of my more colorful vernacular but sometimes things just don't turn out the way we would like them to.


Scrutiny circumvents... Posted 08-28-2010 at 10:42 AM by ardeeann circumvents scrutiny palates savorless proliferate klutzy spritely attentive outlier skepticism inscribed compulsory judiciously obsolete penurious moldering spritz advocates


Scrutiny circumvents me from telling you the whole sordid tale. I couldn't do so judiciously and maintain my advocates no matter how obsolete they may seem to have become. I know that as I write you will have skepticism inscribed in your mind but let me tell you that everything is true and even more torrid that can be believed.

I am a klutzy sort prone to accidents of body, mind and spirit. I am not at all evil or wicked. I have a good heart but it tends to get me into trouble. I am spritely and attentive but I seem to run into people who have penurious spirits and their nature proliferates to all that are around them and turn them into cruel cold hearted souls who feel no empathy for anyone and who care solely for themselves.

The person to whom I am currently referring is an outlier someone who merely skirts society actually shunning it with his parsimonious nature. His life is savorless and he is so cold that conversation with him is like being spritzed with icy water.

This man was a professor of mine and I had to meet with him alone on the last day of class for a compulsory oral exam to insure that I had adequately learned the subject and could move on to higher level courses. I was most uncomfortable in his presence especially since there was no one else in the room with us. As he questioned me, he moved closer and closer inch by inch as if to torture me with his unpleasant manner via proximity. Finally he was so close that I could feel his words as he spat the questions at me.

I turned to him, "Would you please step away from me," I asked.

He snarled at me, "What are you going to do if I don't, threaten me with sexual harassment?"

I looked at him as if he were daft, such a thought had never crossed my mind, I just didn't desire the nearness of this mean spirited person who obviously took great pleasure in tormenting his students. "Just back off professor," I stated,"or I will be leaving and telling the dean that you are harassing me and it won't be about sexual harassment unless you are getting some sadistic pleasure from trying to intimidate me."

"The dean won't care about my behavior and you will not pass my class. What do you have to say about that," he hissed.

"I will go higher than the dean if necessary and I will pass your class because I have the grades to back up my claim of doing so."

At that he grabbed my arm and squeezed it hard, he was literally growling at me as he did so. In my fear I grabbed an ink pen and rammed it into his neck, as luck would have it I struck his jugular vein. He began bleeding all over the place.

I left him there to die. I went to the bathroom to clean up. I noticed his bloody hand print on my breast. He must have grabbed me on his way down. I didn't notice it at the time.

As I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, I realized that it would be easy to find that I had been the last person to see the professor before his assault. I would have no alibi, I would be the immediate suspect. I knew I must do something.

I went to Dean Willis' office...he saw me and waved me in. He didn't notice the blood on me. After I gave him a blow job as I had so often done in the past, I told him that I had just killed Dr. Quantly. I then walked out of his office and to my dorm room.

I knew that this would all look very bad on my student records, I contemplated that as I heard the sound of sirens but really I wasn't about to be threatened and tormented by a man who was only mad because I had whipped him too hard that morning at his request.

He may have been penurious but his was just a masochist at heart. I am no sadist but was willing to do what I must to maintain a 4.0 grade point average.


The Innkeeper's Wife Enervates Me... Posted 08-24-2010 at 03:25 AM by ardeeann enervate predatory interlocutor passion wiseacre garret consumption stroll effete harrowing rivulets mediocre shard precarious circumvents


At one time in my life I was a mediocre wiseacre who passed my time in pursuits of merriment and frivolity, that was before I rented a garret from the innkeeper's wife. When I first met her she seemed a pleasant sort, I didn't have to worry about her making arduous advances toward me as she did other patrons for I am more than a bit effete and this tends to put people off so they leave me alone but I did not know what a precarious position I put myself in by renting that humble garret.

After a stroll one evening I found myself at a community table drinking a pint and interjecting myself as an interlocutor throughout the evening. As I decided to turn in I found myself in a most harrowing situation, the innkeeper's wife cornered me on the stairs with a wicked piece of glass aimed at my gut and she threatened to eviscerate me right then and there. Rivulets of sweat poured down my neck, I did not know how to get out of that situation and certainly did not know what I had done to provoke it.

I felt that my very existence hung in a precarious balance and that I must find a way out of this situation. "What do you want," I queried as she stared at me malevolently.

"I saw the way you were eying that harlot Mab," said she, "It will not do," she added, "you belong to me."

"I was not looking at Mab, good lady, but what would you have me do to make amends for the slight that you have endured," I asked hoping for a way to get out of the situation.

"Go on up to you garret," she hissed, "I will cut out your liver and serve it for the dinner time consumption of our guests. There is no other remedy."

As I could not get down the stairs without being gouged I went up to my garret, fearing the worst. I braced myself for the pain that she had promised me.

"Petty little man," she laughed,"you are all the same. You never try to fight me off but rather give in to your certain death. Take off your clothes and lie on your cot," she ordered.

As I did so, I noticed the she too was undressing. She lay down the large shard of glass but kept it within her reach.

"Make love to me now and do a fine job of it or I will tell my husband you tried to rape me and you will lose more than your liver," she whispered in my ear.

I made love to her as best I could. She then climbed off the cot, proclaimed that she would let me live but advised me not to try to take leave of the garret the next day or she would kill me yet.

I was enervated by her actions and stayed in the garret for two day until finally I slipped away with my packed bag and took leave of that village vowing to never return again.


Uxoriousness or Undisciplined Dalliance Posted 08-15-2010 at 09:17 AM by ardeeann uxorious debacle hardiness undisciplined environs forlornly misinterpret ensemble dishabille wry manipulate atrocious dalliance wary dubious foolhardy craggy avert


To all the world Thurman appeared to be uxorious and yet there were rumors of foolhardy dalliances with dubious dishabille damsels who were suspected of manipulating Thurman for his money. He was a craggy old gentleman and many a young lady would avert her eyes when she saw him approaching as his looks were not pleasing and he was supposed to be so devoted to his wife Penelope.

Thurman was a wry old fellow who lived in an old parsonage with environs that all but hid it from sight, they were so dense and deceptive. Thurman preferred to be left alone with his wife and servants unless he was on the prowl for some young woman to pleasure him in his undisciplined search for a dalliance despite his uxurious facade.

Penelope was often seen forlornly sitting alone looking out a window hoping that she would see Thurman return in time for dinner and yet, despite her appearance of frailty she had a certain hardiness that allowed her to pretend that Thurman was only away on business and not actually spending his time wantonly engaged with other women who would meet his more base needs and desires.

Thurman did not realize how wary and dubious many of the women of his acquaintance had become for the knew that an invitation to listen to an ensemble at an assembly hall would lead to drinks at a certain inn and a night of debauchery that would mark the woman's character as being loose and this would simply not do so more and more the ladies of Thurman's circle avoided him in order to prevent being tainted by his lewdness. Thurman had an atrocious reputation and did not realize that his facade of uxoriousness had many holes in it despite the fact that the betrayed Penelope defended his honor and praised him as a husband of good character and kindness. Actually, she was glad to have him engage in his atrocious sexual proclivities with someone else and leave her to her singular bedchamber unmolested by a man of unusual sexual appetite.

They had the perfect understanding, he spent money on trinkets and presents for Penelope and she turned a blind eye to his dalliances. All in all it was a lovely match.


Moonrise on the precipice with deviled eggs Posted 08-12-2010 at 03:26 PM by ardeeann ambiguous y'all precipice skeptical butt-ugly happenstance deviled egg daiquiri tessellation batik goody two shoes tintinnabulation omnipotent flabbergasted And finally: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

There I was stranded on the precipice ya'll, feeling ambiguous and skeptical about my options. I had the butt-ugly diagnosis of Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis or silicosis for those who like simpler words and was feeling flabbergasted while wishing that an omnipotent being would swoop down and help me to cope with the situation that was laid out before me.

I had tried consuming deviled eggs and daiquiris until I was blue in the face and yet despite this overindulgence I was still at odds as to what I was going to do about this situation. I needed answers, hope, insights and I needed them now.

I don't think that it was happenstance that I was experiencing tintinnabulation as I was trying to take my mind off of my Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis by engaging in crafts such as tessellation or batik...I was certainly no "goody-two shoes" but I did have a nice looking floor and some awesome wall hangings.

I was not getting anywhere in my quest. I had no answers. I knew that OSHA would never hold the company I worked for responsible for my illness until it was too late and so I threw myself into a life of abandon involving crafts, fraternization, eating deviled eggs and drinking strawberry daiquiris as I awaited the conclusion to my illness. What a way to go!


The Reprisal of the Disinherited Posted 08-08-2010 at 05:02 AM by ardeeann pursuant untimely sullied impede reprisal nodule loam reparation impel vanquish repel negate mystic conspicuous


Pursuant to the wishes of Mr. Quincy in his will the proceeds of his estate were distributed evenly among his latest wife and four of his six children. Two of his children were conspicuously left out of his will and there was a clause that would negate any efforts that might impel them to vanquish the will as it was written for it would repel their right to use the family estates as needed during their lifetimes even though they did not own any part of these estates nor would they be able to pass them or their use on to their heirs at the time of their deaths.

Miss Linda Quincy felt that her father's untimely death and her disinheritance without explanation sullied her good name and she wondered at what had caused her father to treat her so. Even though she would have use of the family estates for her lifetime she would never feel comfortable visiting them or staying in them as they now belonged either to her father's last wife, Kate or her siblings from whom she was estranged.

Linda decided to contact a mystic to see if she could divine some answers as to why she had been disinherited as the will did not provide any explanation. Linda did ask her brother Randall who had also been disinherited by their father if he wanted to accompany to the visit with the mystic but he was simply resigned to the fact that his father had been a moody bastard who used his power and money to manipulate people and Randall knew that because he had never played his father's games he had been left our of any inheritance from the estate. Randall was angry but not surprised as was Linda. Actually Randall was shocked that Linda had been disinherited as she allowed their father to manipulate her with impunity.

Madame Clara the mystic consulted by Linda talked about the day the cancer nodules had been found in Linda's father Laurence Quincy and how he had felt that Linda's response had been too muted and it was at that time that he wrote her out of his will. It was reprisal for her trying to control her feelings so that she could be of support to her father that he had stricken her from the will and because he had died so quickly and in such an untimely manner he had not had time to correct his error for Linda had been the only one of his children to really support he and Kate as the cancer ravaged his body so quickly.

The mystic advised Linda to explore the sandy loam in the gardens of the family vacation cottage before anyone else would be at their during the vacation season. Madame Clara gave very specific instructions to Linda on where to look.

Linda followed this advice and found several gold ingots worth a fortune buried in the garden. In all she had garnered a fortune bigger than that left to her useless siblings or her father's widow. She never told anyone about the gold and lived her life simply as if she were not rich so that no one would ever suspect anything. It was a lovely reparation as her father had never mentioned a collection of gold so no one would wonder what happened to the ingots. In a reasonable amount of time she helped Randall with some debts but it was done in such a way that it looked like Linda had just earned some bonuses at work.

In the end, Linda had become the richest of them all. Her reprisal was complete and she compensated Madame Clara very well although she never told her what bounty she had found.

Linda lived a happy life indeed.


Panegyric Nonsense Posted 08-07-2010 at 12:44 AM by ardeeann nebbish panegyric contumely remiss document risible funky sludge illuminate pellucid emulate protracted vintage recuse nonsense pecuniary


Although there was much nonsense in William's panegyric outburst about Walter it was clear that he was but a funky nebbish who should recuse himself from society at large. There was nothing about him that anyone could want to emulate and he certainly wasn't going to improve as his style and manners became what one could call vintage.

William did have certain pecuniary advantages that should have been an asset to his position but really in all honesty his behavior was such that he was shunned by all good people and only emulated by the riff raff who surrounded him.

One would be remiss if they did not mention the contumely document that had arisen about William's sludge-like friends who sought to further besmirch William who had such pellucid like behavior even though as has been said before he is such the nebbish.

It would be risible to consider William's status if it wasn't so painfully protracted by his attempts to rise above his own foolishness and become a better man than what he has been but the truth of the matter is that William is and will always be bottom of the barrel and a fool despite financial advantages.

Tsotchkes and folderol.... Posted 08-05-2010 at 12:12 AM by ardeeann purveyor dissimilar secular folderol brutish derringer tsotchke biased floozy lambaste nocturnal


Frank was a purveyor of tsotchke and trinkets who tended to be a bit brutish with his floozy of a wife and often lambasted her for nocturnal activities that did not involve him.

Frank was more than a bit biased but he took his wife for a harlot and yet because of the secular favors she granted him, he was loathe to divorce her. He knew he could not find another woman who would treat him so felicitously in bed even though they were as dissimilar as a married couple could be . However, Lydia his wife had grown tired of his loutish attitude no matter how well deserved it might have been. She purchased a derringer and used it in putting an end to Frank and all his folderol.

The prerequisite barometer knick knack.... Posted 08-05-2010 at 12:03 AM by ardeeann convivial detrius reactive artificer noisome conclusive prerequisite flexion barometer presumptive knick knack putrid deceased valor provident


It was provident and convivial that Aunt Harriet visited after having absented herself 'lo these many years. It was presumptive by all concerned that her absence had been caused by her accidentally breaking a flamingo shaped barometer knick knack reducing it to detrius that was swept up to be done away with.

Uncle Ralph had been an artificer in his day and had tried in vain to repair the barometer but the putrid and noisome odor of the glue he was using caused us to enjoin him to set aside his gesture of valor and let us just put the bits in the dust bin.

It was prerequisite that we handle this matter with tact so that there was no reactive response from Aunt Harriet or Uncle Ralph that would prevent them from visiting us again despite the unfortunate incident. After all really the barometer was tourist kitsch of no consequence.

When we were preparing for Aunt Harriet's visit this time we but all the pretty little things where the would be safe from stretching or flexion of her elbows, wrists or arms. We had a jolly visit with her and were so glad that she and Uncle Ralph had come to visit again.


Lackluster, tatty and struggling... Posted 08-02-2010 at 02:09 AM by ardeeann vicarious tatty retribution lackluster attribute churlish suborn promenade divan naturopathy struggling absurd

It was an absurd notion but while sitting on her tatty divan the lackluster girl dreamed of a vicarious life walking down the promenade on the arm of a fine dandy when at best she my find a man whose best attribute was a churlish manner but who did not beat her with any regularity.

Once she had fallen in love with a practitioner of naturopathy but he did not pass his boards and was found to be engaged in suborn practices to be able to practice his craft without the appropriate licensure. Her heart was broken when he left their little village in the middle of the night for he was so disgraced.

Had he but asked her to she would have eloped with him and lived as his wife no matter what his lot in life might be, but as it was she was left with shattered dreams of what might have been and a tacky fishmonger for a husband who drank, caroused and fought often in the back alleys. It was a far cry from her dreams.

The Blog of an avante-garde charismatic practitioner ;) Posted 07-26-2010 at 02:55 AM by ardeeann ague risible intractable penultimate weighty postprandial innovative practitioner synthetic malleable avante-garde persuasive habitat charismatic regressive highflalutin a/k/a hifalutin


ague ~ Maria had milk fever and between bouts of fever she had terrible ague as the house was really too cold and they could not get it any warmer. There was much concern by the local doctor and the midwife that Maria would not survive the birth of this child as the milk fever was such an advanced case.

Maria had been bled twice and the breast had been expressed as much as possible given the severe pain she was in and yet her condition seemed to deteriorate rather than improve. Maria's sister Blanche was angry that instead of being at home helping to attend to his wife, her husband Henry was off cavorting and fornicating with a bar maid in town.

risible ~ Henry's occasional visits and show of affection of Maria would have been risible if she had not been dying from the milk fever. His lack of concern left most of the household aghast at his actions. Many hoped he would get the "French Pox" for being such the womanizer at a time like this.

intractable ~ Henry was intractable in his desire to be with Mab the bar maid in town, so what if she was a tart, she made him laugh and was merry, not like the moaning and crepe hanging that was going on in his own home. He wanted pleasure out of life not the pallor of death surrounding him.

penultimate ~ The ague and fever were the penultimate steps in Maria's illness. Soon there was delirium which indicated that the end was near. Maria did not know who she was or where she was she became involved in a world that was made up in her own mind as her life ebbed away.

weighty ~ It was a weighty decision on Blanche's part to go to the pub with its derelict patrons and look for Henry so that he could be with his wife at the end but she could not find him so she left so that she could be with Maria as she passed over from this world to the next.

postprandial ~ Diabetics have to check their blood glucose levels before meals and 2 hours postprandial to assure that they are maintaining good blood glucose control.

innovative ~ It is innovative that glucometers are so easily accessible to persons with diabetes now as there was a time that a person with diabetes could only learn their blood sugar levels at the doctor's office.

practitioner ~ Renee is a practitioner of magical arts, she can concoct spells, read tarot cards and engage in healing practices on behalf of friends and loved ones. Renee's family have been practitioners of the arts of many generations and eschew the ways of the newcomers to the field.

synthetic ~ The first synthetic material was rayon. It was made of cotton and wood pulp.

malleable ~ Henry was very malleable when it came to the attentions of a woman. He did not realize that Mab had her eye on being his mistress well kept in town, if not the lady of the manner when the ailing Maria finally died. Nay, Henry did not know he was "being played for a fool."

avant-garde ~ Layla was very avant-garde in her way of approaching life and living. She did not life in the usual manner. She had a loft in an old warehouse in Red Hook way before it was fashionable to do so. Instead of a regular career she lived courtesy of her freelance writings and public relations work. Layla did not marry but freely took lovers both male and female as the fancy struck her.

Layla enjoyed her life and it suited her well although her family back in Kansas never quite understood her or the notions she took. Her father always blamed it on her mother for giving her a name like "Layla" in the first place. A good Christian name like Deborah or Helen might have produced a more normal child.

persuasive ~ Mab was persuasive, after Maria died she convinced Henry to marry her although she was of a class greatly beneath his but he certainly enjoyed her charms in the bedroom. So Mab who had once been a harlot at the inn was now the lady of the manor.

habitat ~ The BP oil spill is destroying the wildlife habitat of the Louisiana shorelines. It will be decades before (if ever) life returns to normal there.

charismatic ~ Bill Clinton was a charismatic president, however due to the fact that he could not keep his pants up and got caught up in sexual scandals he lost the opportunity to be a great president because his presidency was mired down in the circus surrounding his adultry.

regressive ~ The Bush presidency was rather regressive. It served only the upper echelons of society and created a vast financial deficit that continues to grow years after his presidency. Bush was elected to protect the needs of the rich and to cut programs that were helping those in the lower socieo-economic levels.

highflalutin a/k/a hifalutin ~ Mab was highfalutin as the lady of the manner. She had nurses and maids caring for the children and she dressed herself in fine silks and fancied herself to be well born because of her rise in station by marrying Henry. Mab had delusions of grandeur and her life style demonstrated this.

Oingoboingo bless my soul!!! Posted 07-25-2010 at 08:15 AM by ardeeann ameliorate incinerate bombastic arabadopsis fecund paraboloids arabesques oingoboingo antidisestablishmentarianism mollycoddle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ameliorate ~ Hector tried to ameliorate the situation between Leo and Lita. The two had been fighting for days fueled by cheap liquor and bad attitudes. He tried to stay out of situations involving his son and daughter-in-law but they were living with him at the present and were causing havoc in his once peaceful home.

Incinerate ~ Lita could easily incinerate the situation with Leo by flirting with the patrons of the bar where she worked as a cocktail waitress. Leo was extremely jealous but he could never hold down a job and they relied on the income from Lita's job, especially her tips which were higher when she let her customers pat her fanny and get advantageous views of her ample cleavage. Leo didn't like the situation but he didn't do anything to ameliorate it.

Bombastic ~ Leo was often bombastic when speaking to patrons of the bar where Lita worked, with friends and most of all with his father. Leo was not at all industrious but he would talk as if he was Donald Trump and had the world in the palm of his hand.

arabadopsis ~ Dr. Poohfan is the queen of arabadopsis which is a small flowering plant which is related to cabbage and mustard. This genus contains thale cress which is used in the models of studying plant biology.

fecund ~ Lita was incredibly fecund and despite using birth control she was pregnant again. Leo wanted her to have another abortion but Lita was adamant that this time she was going to have the baby which is what led to the on-going feud that was distressing Hector.

He could not believe that his son was pressing his daughter-in-law to have an abortion and yet, he knew in his heart of hearts that Leo would never be able to support Lita and a baby. Hector wished that Iris his wife was still alive because she would know what to day and do in this situation.

paraboloids ~ The people who moved in down the street are paraboloids they drive a parabola instead of a regular car, keep to themselves and seem to have circular properties. The members of the Homeowners Association wonder how they got approval to move into the neighborhood.

arabesques ~ The ballerina was accomplished in performing exquisite arabesques which enthralled her audience who could not believe the perfection of the lines of her body as she danced.

oingoboingo ~ John Holmes was an oingoboingo according to the Urban Dictionary. That is all I have to say about that!

antidisestablishmentarianism ~ Fortunately of all the problems we must grapple with as a nation, antidisestablishmentarianism is not one because as of this time the United States does not have a state religion nor are we a theocracy yet.

Mollycoddle ~ Lita refused to mollycoddle Leo any longer. She was happily pregnant, intended to have this baby and expected him to get off his lazy bombastic butt and get a steady job. She was getting close to 40 and her days of fecundity were number. Lita was hoping for a girl that she would name Lila Jean.


It may be saccharin or it may be the best array of word prompts ever! Posted 07-23-2010 at 03:23 AM by ardeeann chagrin stealth elusive shrouded cataclysmic redoubtable mnemonic eventual penultimate perturb officious sacchrine humdrum blather ruly facetious


chagrin ~ Stella was chagrined that a child in her care had died. She had been providing child care for over 20 years and never had any incidents and then the Brewer child died of SIDS within two hours of arriving at her home that fateful day. Stella never fully recovered from her sadness and feelings of remorse.

stealth ~ Stealth was an art that Nicky had developed over the years. It helped him in picking pockets in such a way that no one was any the wiser until he was far away from his mark. Nicky had no desire to engage in a violent incident, he just wanted to make some extra jingle without having to work too hard at doing so. The only problem was that all the stores had surveillance cameras these days so using stolen credit cards was a sucker's game.

Nicky sold the stolen cards to punks on the street for $100 each. He let them take the risk on using them in the stores. Nicky was too busy picking pockets.

elusive ~ Nicky was elusive prey for the cops, they knew his racket, picking pockets and selling stolen credit cards but they never could get the goods on him so that they could bust him and make the charges stick. Nicky always found a way to get out of jail and have the charges dropped. Finally the cops gave up on trying to arrest Nicky, he was small time in their eyes and they had bigger fish to fry.

shrouded ~ Back at the turn of the century young virgin girls were shrouded in pink to mark their innocence at the time of their death. Old spinsters were shrouded in lilac as it was assumed they had never known a man and that they too were going to their maker innocent of the sex act.

cataclysmic ~ The explosions were cataclysmic. Terrorists had set off bombs in the White House and the Capitol. They had gotten past the metal detectors using plastic explosives. The United States was at war on its own turf and the government did not know how to handle the chaos that had ensued nationwide.

redoubtable ~ Nicky was a redoubtable pickpocket, he always lured in the best prey and was unable to be prosecuted by the county. It was uncanny how he could get away with even felony charges brought against him in a sting operation. No one understood how one lowly thief could continue to stay out of the slammer.

mnemonic ~ The graduate students devised a mnemonic device to help them remember the formulas for their final examinations which were to be comprehensive. Without a means of memorizing these formulas they would not be able to pass their tests and obtain their Master's degrees that they had spent two years working on.

eventual ~ In the eventual future technologies advance will be so rapid that humans will not be able to keep up with the proliferation of the technology surrounding them. There is the risk that artificial intelligence will at some time destroy the human race.

penultimate ~ The fifth Star Wars movie was the penultimate film of the second trilogy even though the numbering of the films was out of sequence with their production.

perturb ~ Emma was perturbed by he nephew Earnest, her mother allowed him to live in their home as he was her favorite grandchild but the boy was a slob, leaving dirty dishes in the living room, dirty under drawers in the bathroom and leaving his belongings sprawled all over the house. Her mother never said anything to Earnest and when Emma brought is up her mother would just reply, "Oh that Earnest, he is such a boy." That was well and good for her mother to say but she wasn't doing extra laundry, cleaning the parlor two or three times a day and collecting empty beer cans and pizza boxes from Earnest's room.

"Honestly," Emma thought,"that boy is a slob and a half." Then she huffed off to clean up after him some more.

officious ~ Emma was an officious old broad Earnest thought. He worked to help pay the rent and utilities on the dump that he, Emma and his Grandma Ruth lived in and yet she complained about the fact that he didn't help to clean up the joint. After 40 hours a week of hard labor on the docks, he wanted to kick back, drink a few brews, eat and watch some television without some old harridan nagging at him about this, that and the other thing. Earnest was glad that Grandma Ruth took his side in the matter. Besides Emma was home all day watching her stories, it didn't hurt her any to do his laundry and help out around the house.

saccharine ~ Earnest's girlfriend Katie knew that his aunt Emma didn't like her but that Grandma Ruth did. Katie was always saccharine sweet to Emma just to get under the old woman's skin. Katie intended to marry Earnest and when she did one of her first acts would be to see that Emma was banished from the residence so that Katie didn't have to put up with her old sour puss every day.

humdrum ~ Katie lived a humdrum life her only real excitement was riling up old Emma. Katie worked all day at Walmart, went bowling with the league once a week, hung out with Earnest and had dinner at her mother's on Sunday. Katie hoped that once she and Earnest got married that they'd have more time to go dancing, bowling and to the picture show. Katie wanted to have a social life and break free from the "same old, same old" that enveloped her at the present time.

blather ~ Katie spent a lot of time rolling her eyes when she was at her mother's for Sunday dinner, besides her mother pushing her about when she and Earnest were going to get married, Katie had to listen to her sister blather on about out Little Betsy her one year old was doing this or that. You'd think that child crapped gold stars the way Katie's sister Janie carried on about all the things that Betsy could do. Katie could think of things she'd rather be doing like hitting Janie in the head with a rolling pin.

ruly ~ Katie ran a ruly house. She did not allow anyone to leave drinks lying around, unemptied ashtrays or dirty dishes in the living room or kitchen. Earnest used to laugh at her for being such a hard ass about such things but he knew that when they were married he would never have to worry about the house being a mess. Katie was very tidy and efficient, she wasn't anything like Earnest's aunt Emma!

facetious ~ Earnest was often facetious with Katie's mother Marilyn. He did not like the way Marilyn was trying to force he and Katie to hurry up and get married so he mocked Marilyn and treated her in a flippant manner. The annoyed Marilyn to no end especially as she knew that Earnest did this just to "get her goat."

Marilyn would be talking about a neighbor who had cancer or had been affected by some other tragedy and Earnest would make light of it and say he had gotten some holes in his socks implying that was much more important than Mrs. Moriarity losing her dearly departed brother, God rest his soul.


I have to say... Posted 07-19-2010 at 04:29 AM by ardeeann I am very fond of writing in the first person but that does not mean that I am writing about myself, there may be similarities but trust me it is not gospel. Capisce!


testy redolent immaculate labyrinthine gracious advantageous brevity calumny desultory pungent facile harridan jokester iridescent laggard nascent olives


testy ~ I imagine that Sarah Palin was more than a little testy when she read the eight page spread in US magazine about Bristol Palin getting married to Levi Johnston. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she heard that news.

redolent ~ Mary's breath was redolent of garlic and red wine after her wonderful Italian feast. She knew that she was not ready for kissing and making out with James but she just couldn't bear to pop a breath mint and vanquish all of the wonderful tastes that were dancing on her tongue.

immaculate ~ Ginger's office was immaculate, she not only dusted her desk every night but she vacuumed before the cleaning crew arrived as she could not handle having anything out of place or untidy in her work space. Ginger did not have any pictures or knick knacks on her desk either, only business supplies that were put away at the end of each day were on her desk. She did have a desk calendar that remained on the desk and a coffee cup that she would wash and put in a drawer before departing the office. Ginger was very clean, precise and impeccable in her office and work ethic.

labyrinthine ~ The labyrinthine hedges were well appointed and cared for, the hidden passages were carefully laid out so that they challenged even the most gifted of people who came to test out the labyrinth of the Ducets.

gracious ~ Although Sarah Palin had been more than a little testy in private with Bristol after reading the eight page layout in US magazine, her public response was well orchestrated and most gracious. She put on the face of the adoring mother who wanted nothing but the best for her child and who hoped that this decision had been made with clear thought and discretion.

advantageous ~ Harry found it advantageous to be the heir to a massive fortune. It offered him the opportunity to live a life of luxury, not have to worry about any bills and to have his pick of women when it came time to chose a wife and mistresses.

brevity ~ Brevity is the soul of the truly humble person's being. There is no need to build one's self up into a person beyond one's spiritual means but only to acknowledge that one has faith and thereby is at one with the Universe.

calumny ~ There are those who care not what type of calumny they may have to commit in order to get ahead or to make their point. Lies and deceit are the tools of the calumnious. One must always remember there are lies and there are damned lies...calumny falls into the realm of the latter.

desultory ~ Callie behaved in a most desultory manner, not following any rhyme nor reason as she waded through her homework, spewing out twaddle, just to get by, not caring that eventually her lackadaisical behavior would catch up with her sooner rather than later.

pungent ~ The smell of garlic was pungent as the nascent vampire hunter had smeared herself with garlic juice and holy water in an effort to protect herself from falling under the spell of the vampire that she was tracking down to kill. He had destroyed her sister and now she would even the score, first she would stake him and then she would slice of his head with her sword. Elena wanted revenge and Jarrod would pay for his sins.

facile ~ Aaron was facile and it showed in his work, his projects were sloppy and his work ethic was lackadaisical at best. It was ludicrous that he was continually promoted just to get him out of job positions that would actually have him doing work that was necessary to the company. If his father had not been the CEO Aaron would have been out on his keester long ago.

harridan ~ A few days ago Linda had found her husband Greg performing cunnilingus on their baby sitter Carrie, her first response had been controlled anger with a slight bit of malice, ever since however, she had been a complete harridan toward Greg who fully deserved every bit of her wrath for engaging in sexual activity with the sitter right on the couch in the family room. What had he been thinking? He did not know.

jokester ~ Simon is such the jokester, he talked about hanging the cross of St. Andrew and drinking scotch instead of his normal vodka on the 4th of July. Simon only wanted to rile up his neighbors and the head of the home owners association as the flying of flags on the porch was allowed, no one had specified the American flag. Really, Simon was so feckless.

iridescent ~ The fireflies blinked with an iridescent light that captured the fancy of children and adults alike. Thousands of fireflies flew over the fields glowing all the while and leaving such bright memories in the minds of the spectators.

laggard ~ Millicent was such the laggard, she didn't do her work, she gossiped at the coffee pot and left behind lipsticked coffee cups not even bothering to throw them away. Everyone knew that her amazing oral skills were what kept her in her job and they were angry that the members of upper management rewarded blow jobs rather than real work.

Nascent ~ Renee was but a nascent office worker who was trying her best to fulfill ever assignment double time. She did not realize the resentment she fostered by making the other workers look bad even though they were working hard too. Renee had a lot to learn about office politics.

Olives ~ The green and black olives were sauteed with mushrooms and artichoke hearts to make a pasta sauce that was tasty and redolent of garlic and onion. Melinda added merlot to the meal for the perfect finale to a night of lovemaking and sexual play.

Broken Glass... Posted 07-17-2010 at 03:18 AM by ardeeann Linda was desolate, fidelity seemed to have fled her marriage and Greg was having an affair with their babysitter. Linda was grateful that the babysitter was over 18 so that she didn't have the shame of a child molester for a husband despite the fact that he was still a cheating bastard.

It felt like broken glass flowed through her veins the pain of the discovery was so fierce. Greg was out of town and Linda had to work late because of a last minute lawsuit that her boss had filed. She had called, Carrie the babysitter to come care for the children. There had been no indication of the relationship being anything more that caretaker/parent when Linda had talked to Carrie.

Linda had no clue that within six hours she would walk in to find Carrie with Greg's face buried between her legs. Linda had not expected Greg to come home that evening and obviously Carrie and Greg did not expect Linda to come home without calling first as was her wont but she didn't want to risk waking the children, it was a school night after all.

As Linda stood by the door unnoticed by Carrie and Greg she wondered why Greg would eat Carrie when he never performed cunnilingus on her any longer and then it fully struck her. Greg was sucked on Carrie's clitoris and she was angry as she could be for a number of reasons.

Linda set down her purse and car keys, walked quietly up to them and asked what they thought they were doing. Carrie looked afraid and Greg almost crapped his pants.

"Go wash your face Greg," Linda said calmly, turning to Carrie and stated, "put your panties on and leave, I think you have already received enough payment for this evening." Greg dashed to the bathroom and Carrie couldn't leave soon enough.

Linda sank down into an armchair, considered that Greg would have to find a way to get the couch out of the house by himself this very evening and then he would have to give her money to buy a new sofa with as the current divan would not be feasible for family use any longer. She was hurt and she was angry, the broken glass in her veins seemed to rip at her very being.

She was a cantankerous old bat... Posted 07-17-2010 at 02:59 AM by ardeeann erudite cantankerous elephantine lackidaisical recurring soliloquy staunch capricious felicitous bourgeoisie integral desolate nascent fidelity


Kathy eruditely captured her audience at the book reading. There was no question that she knew her material well and that she was well qualified to have written the book.

At the question and answer session she handled herself professionally, with dignity and aplomb. All of those years in school, internships and training had prepared her for this moment in time.


Mable was a cantakerous old bat, she was always yelling at the neighborhood kids for even walking on the sidewalk or riding their bikes by her house. All of the children were scared of her, they thought she was a witch and stayed away from her property as much as possible but since the bus stop was two houses down from her they did have to walk past her house to catch the bus.

One dark and stormy night Mable screamed out as if in a hissy fit, no one paid any attention to her because they were used to her histrionics and outlandish behavior. It seems however, that on this occasion the neighbors should have called the police.

A few days later a foul odor began to waft from Mable's house, at this time the neighbors realized that they hadn't heard any harranguing, of the kids from her, so they called the police. Mable had been dead for all that time. It seemed that someone had broken into her house and killed her in a most appalling fashion. There were little bits and pieces of Mable scattered around her house.

Rumor had it that a long forgotten son had gotten out of the joint and had come to wreak revenge on mama for all the indignities he suffered as a child, but the trail came up cold. The police could find no evidence of a child of Mable's except one that had died "by accident" at the age of nine. Still the neighbors wondered who would hate the old lady so much to butcher her in such a fashion.


Our cat Miss Priss had an elephantine cadence to her walk. Now she was a small tortie cat, not large at all but her movements, for all the world, would remind one of a giant pachyderm. We used to hum, "Baby Elephant Walk" as she sauntered through the house.

Stephanie thought I was mean for having started it and she said that what Miss Priss was hearing inside her head as she walked was, "Listen to the Mockingbird" and she would try to out hum me as I was mocking the poor cat with "Baby Elephant Walk."

Really, she was elephantine and "Baby Elephant Walk," fit her to a "t!"


I have been rather lackadaisical in my writing of late. I am about fifteen thousand words behind on my JulNoWriMo novel and it will take quite the write-a-thon to catch up with my word count. Back in the day I would have been called a lackaday which is a whimsical word that I rather like the sound of, lackadaisical sounds as if I am a total slattern who has not made any effort whatsoever and I do have almost twenty thousand words to my credit.

I do love my writing and I do wish that I felt like doing more of it. If I could just get my brain and fingers to cooperate I could bid on some well paying copywriting jobs that require up to thirty thousand words a day.

I feel highly excited if I can manage over two thousand words a day but I would love to get into the copywriting business, make some money, pay off bills and remodel my house. It would be so nice, thus the need to quit being a lackadaisical lackaday and stay on a schedule and work, work, work.


My friend Sandy has been having recurring nightmares about something happening to her precious dog Shiloh. I know that these dreams disturb her greatly and that once they pass she will feel better and less anxious about Shiloh. I know that she loves him so and I know the anxiety produced by recurring dreams. I wish her nothing but sweet sleep and pleasant dreams that have only to do with happy times for she and her furbaby Shiloh.


My life seems to be one long soliloquy even though I am not officially on stage speaking to an audience but rather babbling soliloquies out loud as thoughts come into my head. I am not easy to live with as if it is in my head it often leaps out of my lips, long rambling thoughts that sometimes seem completely out of context and character. However, my mind is constantly racing with thoughts, feelings, ideas, words, sentences, random scenes for stories and so I find myself speaking at length to no one in particular about whatever is on my feeble mind.


I once was a staunch supporter of politics, civil rights, environmental and social justice issues. I went to jail more than once for my beliefs. I stood in protest of things that I thought were wrong and was in the streets when such action was needed. Now in my old age and dotage I find that even armchair activism is almost too much for me. I have burned the candle at both ends for so long that there is nothing left to burn and what little smoldering is left behind is needed just for survival issues alone.


Shana was capricious by nature, she would run hot and cold on almost any issue. One never really knew where she stood because her ideas and thoughts could change on the spur of the moment. One minute she could be arguing with you over equal rights for all and the next minute she would state that gays should not be allowed to marry because, well, you know it is against nature and all that jazz.

Shana could be exasperating at times and yet she was great fun to have around for she could argue any point from any angle even though she seemed to have no firm convictions of her own. In the end it really didn't matter because if Shana was happy with the way she was, it wasn't anyone else's business how she handled herself as long she was not hurtful to those around her.


Chandra had spent her life wanting to be of service to others and yet as she was approaching her junior year of college she wasn't sure if she wanted to go into nursing or social work. Finally she decided on nursing which proved to be a felicitous decision for in the long run she was able to be of service to more people at less emotional and physical cost to herself although her job was hard and the days were long. Chandra also grieved when she lost a patient, that was especially hard.

In the long run though Chandra was able to create a schedule that allowed her to take care of herself and to provide even better care to her patients. All in all she had the best of both worlds, especially when she could use work time to go on overseas trips to provide medical care to those in need after natural disasters. As a social worker her services would have been somewhat limited but as a nurse she was busy every waking hour making a serious difference in the life of the survivors.


Ah the much maligned bourgeoisie, it seems that the only people who want to be part of the bourgeoisie are members of the middle class themselves although many often aspire to climb higher into the socio-economic ranks of their culture. The bourgeoisie are so accustomed to their toys and the things that money can buy, even borrowed money as many live on what credit can bring them in their lives.

As one who feels naught but disdain for the bourgeoisie I have lived a live of voluntary poverty until involuntary poverty became my way of life. I chose to do without and be of service to others in many ways rather than live a life of comfort in the zone of the middle class.


Chaos is an integral part of my life and being. As one who is bi-polar I do not take well to organization and sameness, there must be an element of disorder in my life or I am uncomfortable within the confines of normalcy. Sometimes I wish that I could find a comfort zone that is more in line with the standard life in our culture but I am not hard wired that way and efforts to live a life of being "normal" almost destroyed me so I hold to the dangerous edge of chaos and enjoy the wild ride.


Melinda found herself in a desolate emotional landscape after Phil left her for his girlfriend from work. Melinda had given up so much for Phil, her nascent career in journalism. Her two children who she voluntarily gave custody to their father and even her own soul as she lived and breathed for what Phil wanted. He totally dominated her and their marriage, now he was gone with some tart from the office.

Melinda hoped that she gave him herpes or something worse. That would give her something to feel cheerful about. Melinda hope that this chippy from the office used Phil the way he had used her. It seemed that she was the dominant one in there relationship, maybe she would handcuff Phil to the bed and leave him there for several hours like he had done to Melinda once, oh the punishment she hoped this woman eked out on Phil. Maybe she didn't feel quite so desolate after all.


Filomena had just taken the first steps toward her nascent business, she had opened a cupcake shop and yet, she knew that the cupcake craze could not last so she thought of ways that she could expand her business slowly but steadily.

Filomena added a coffee bar, other baked goods and then began selling coffee beans that she roasted in small batches. She learned her business one step at a time and never dreamed that when she took the cake decorating class before her marriage fell apart that it would give her a way to support herself but after she picked up the pieces of her broken life she found ways to rebuild herself, create her own brand of being and became an upscale business owner, not bad for a girl from the hood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Harold barely knew what the word fidelity meant much less seemed able to commit to same in his life. Harold was ruled by his penis and it was with it that he allowed his life to be manipulated and ruined. He left behind many broken hearts, those of his wives, children and many girlfriends. For Harold there was always another piece of tail to be conquered, sometimes more than one at a time.

In the end Harold died a broken bitter man because he let his member destroy everything good that had ever come into his life.


Lollygagging around! Posted 07-15-2010 at 06:30 AM by ardeeann atavistic metronomic regressive methodical flack benign gratuitous flaccid jocund lollygag impecunious brevity irritable clandestine debilitating


Alex was atavistic in his approach to the situation, there was something almost backward in his logic and reasoning. Instead of being practical and proactive he was being reactive and fearful in his actions.

The metronomic rhythm of the keyboards was almost soothing after the screeching metallic sounds down in the warehouse. I could find some peace in the clicking as my jangled nerves settled a bit.

Rupert was regressive in his attitudes toward the project, he was not moving forward at all but was taking a backdoor approach that left us in a lurch and behind on our work rather than advancing our cause and actions.

Lolita was always methodical in her work. Every morning she followed the same steps to prepare her work station, get herself ready for carrying out her duties and then with the precision of a clock she performed her job without any errors or lollygagging. Lolita was a true professional dedicated to her job.

Teddy gave me a lot of flack for not having the project completed in a timely manner. He did not care that the team leader was regressive in his methods and refused to move forward with the venture, Teddy only wanted results and he wanted them right now. There was nothing benign in Teddy's attitude he was angry at the atavistic approach to the matter and ballistic at the lack of progress.

Leona had a rather benign and bland attitude toward her work and obligations. She was just as often at the coffee pot getting refills and gossiping as she was at her work station plotting out the new program that we were expected to undertake within just a few short weeks. It was maddening to see someone lollygagging so when there were important activities to perform.

Melinda was often a source of gratuitous and unwanted advice when she should have been attending to her own issues and work. She was a busybody in the middle of everyone's affairs and dishing out unsolicited solutions to problems that she really knew little or nothing about.

Robert was intent upon seducing Renee and yet even as he yearned for her and tried to make his move Robert's member was flaccid creating an inability for him to follow through with his desires.

Despite his inability to perform as a sexual partner with Renee, Robert remained jocund, trying to decrease any tension about the situation. Renee responded in kind feeling sexually frustrated yet glad that Robert was jovial rather than sulking at his apparent episode of impotence.

Lisbet was lollygagging around, not attending to her chores and responsibilities. She spent time eating bon bons and watching soap operas rather than cleaning house and attending to matters at hand that needed her attention.

Maria came from a family with a good name and social standing but they were impecunious. It was difficult to maintain expected standards when one was having to quietly sell grandmother's silver and diamonds so that one could manage to live the life that was expected of Maria. It wasn't that she didn't work but her job as a publishing assistant did not pay well and thus she was having to sell off old assets just to make ends meet.

Brevity is at the heart of a good story and conversation. One can go on and on with no end in sight or one can create a tale or speech with a direct message and then get on with one's day.

Aunt Louise was an irritable old soul who never seemed to find any happiness or peace in her life. She was always short with everyone and burned bridges wherever she went. It was sad to see her living such a miserable existence.

Lloyd and Marsha were having a clandestine affair de amor. They had to be careful and especially circumspect since the town they lived in was small and they did not want to be caught in their actions. Lloyd was an elder in the church and it would not be taken well if it was found out that his lover was the pastor's wife. What a scandal that would be if the word got out about their relationship!

Bertha was suffering from a debilitating illness that often left her bed ridden due to pain. Bertha was a cheerful loving soul and it was hard to realize just how debilitated she was at times because she put on a brave face to the world despite her discomfort and even agony.


flash fiction paragraphs and other twaddle! Posted 07-10-2010 at 01:56 PM by ardeeann reasonable unseasonable cowering antiquated melancholy hybrid smother destination night vision hermetically heretic actionable resist persist well schooled te preoccupation reliable


reasonable ~ It was reasonable for Rosie to ask Sam to help with the dishes but our Sammy boy didn't see it that way so he decided to be a wiseguy and smack her around a little. It must have been the Miller High Life in him doing the talking. The beer shut up really quick like when she conked him in the head with the flat iron from the hearth. Goodbye Sam!

unseasonable ~ It has been unseasonably rainy around here this summer. It seems that we are getting rain several times a week and I don't just mean the thunderstorms that pop up on hot summer afternoons. This is the second summer in a row that things have been like this. One has to wonder about what other changes are occurring worldwide with the climate for there to be such a difference in this one state.

cowering ~ Sammy was cowering in the corner after he came to with a gash in his head, blood running everywhere and Rosie sitting in a chair staring at him with a .12 gage shotgun aimed his general direction. Sammy knew he was going to have to start talking fast and make up with Rosie for busting her lip. He knew he had been drinking too much beer but he didn't mean to rough her up again, but a man needed his time off and it was Rosie's job to do the dishes not his.

Rosie clicked off the safety and Sam crapped his pants, maybe he should have been more of a gentleman about helping out around the house.

antiquated ~ As Sam sat in his own stinking poop he realized that his ideas about marriage were perhaps antiquated and that he needed to rethink his position. He wasn't really in the position to negotiate right this minute but he could indicate a willingness to take orders but then Rosie pulled the trigger and it was all over for Sammy Boy.

melancholy ~ Rosie considered the blood and brains that were all over the den but she didn't have time to be melancholy about the fact she had wasted her husband, in fact, she needed to start thinking about how to get the hell out of there before the cops arrived. Rosie didn't regret killing the low life but she sure as hell didn't want to go to jail for doing so.

hybrid ~ The orchids were hybrids so they were easier to care for and less likely to die even with less than optimal care.

smother ~ Rosie had to smother her revulsion for being covered in Sammy's bodily fluids, grab the car keys, her purse and ditch the cell phone before she climbed into their old Volvo and headed down the road. Rosie didn't know where she was going but she thought it would be prudent to get cleaned up as soon as possible.

destination ~ Rosie's first destination was the laundrymat. It was deserted at this time of the night. She went into the restroom, took off the clothes she had been wearing and threw on a house dress. She quickly put her clothes in the washer and then went back to the ladies room to get the blood off of her person. Rosie had to make plans about where to go but she needed clean clothes to make a full fledged escape.

night vision ~ The antagonist in a recent novel I read used night vision goggles. He reminded me of an episode of "Criminal Minds" it wasn't very powerful in the execution of the crimes. The television show handled such things with more panache!

hermetically ~ The mayonnaise jar was hermetically sealed for the stunt but afterward the prop man was able to get it open for lunch time.

heretic ~ June was a heretic, she did not believe in the teachings of the church and loudly proclaimed same to anyone who would listen. As she was considered a nuisance in her small town no one was upset or asked questions when her car was run off a small bridge into a raging river below. June died in that accident and the townspeople wondered what the last thoughts were in her heretic heart and mind.

actionable ~ The local elders of the church found that June's funeral was actionable and they showed up with signs that said things like, "Burn in Hell" and "Do You Believe in God Now." The lack of temperance and dignity on their part was a bit disconcerting.

resist ~ Despite some raised eyebrows there were those who just couldn't resist protesting at June's funeral and harassing her family even though they were all solid members of the church. The behavior of this protesters was decidedly uncharitable and less than Christian.

persist ~ Even after June's father asked the protesters to desist they persisted in chanting untoward remarks about June and her beliefs. It was most distressing to June's mother who had not only lost a daughter but found herself losing her faith as the demonstration dragged on.

well schooled ~ The demonstrators at June's funeral may have been well schooled in First Amendment rights and biblical passages but they lacked education in common decency and civilized behavior. It really was appalling to see their behavior.

te ~ is the chemical symbol for tellurium which is used in semiconductors and in electronics.

preoccupation ~ There was a preoccupation among the demonstrators at June's funeral that her family should be made to suffer and "pay" for June's belief system that ran contrary to the members of the church to which June had once belonged and been an active participant.

reliable ~ Finally the sensible and somewhat reliable police chief came through and asked the church elders to disband their rowdy crew and allow June's family to mourn in peace. The elders acquiesced but not without verbalizing their disgust at the chief.

In the end June was buried peacefully but her grave was vandalized the first night. It was a shameful affair.

Wodehouse Inspired.... Posted 07-04-2010 at 12:19 AM by ardeeann elegiac harrowed adjunct capricious stratum glassily temperament infirm sanguine redundant diverting imperturbable camaraderie

elegiac ~ As she spoke her voice took on a mournful, elegiac, dirge like did not seem as though she was cheering on new graduates but was rather speaking at the funeral of a generation that was lost to the annals of time.

harrowed ~ Elena was harrowed by the death of her grandparents. It had been so sudden on moment they were alive and laughing at the family reunion and the next they were dead in the dirt with unseeing eyes staring up at the skies after a drive by shooting deprived them of any further moments of life.

adjunct ~ even though I was the director of the psychosocial rehabilitation program in reality I was merely an adjunct of the clinic manager. It made it hard to fully do my job to the best of my ability and to the fullest benefit of our clients.

capricious ~ I have a capricious nature much like a cat, I may be amiable and friendly one minute and ready to claw your eyes out the next moment. I am not someone to be trifled with.

stratum ~ the social stratum to which he belonged was so beneath the woman to whom he wised to be wed that at one time it would have been considered impossible for such a marriage to occur but with the number of available men decreasing and the fact that he was clever and handsome allowed him to climb the stratum and become her husband with little difficulty at all.

glassily ~ Her eyes were glazed over and unseeing they gazed glassily at the midday sun...there was no need for her to squint or wear sunglasses she was number #JH897 at the body farm, the scientists would be watching the sun, weather and insects as they consumed her flesh.

temperament ~ She had a bilious temperament and rarely had anything good to say about anything or anyone. Her nature was fixed and not in the least bit capricious.

infirm ~ Betsy was infirm and unable to attend to herself or her affairs. It was time for her to go into an assisted living facility so that her needs could adequately be met.

sanguine ~ Edmund could be so sanguine. He would kill his own mother if need be to advance his cause. Edmund cared only for himself and would let nothing stand in his way.

redundant ~ Sometimes my writing prompts sound a bit redundant because it seems that sex, gore and smut are what come to mind as I write. It is odd that this happens but it does. I guess I have the mind of a sociopath. Mmmm....that is food for thought.

diverting ~ It was pleasantly diverting today to go to the grocers, shop, enjoy everything around us and then even though it was raining upon the end of our shopping trip we were able to load the car and then unload it without getting too wet except for the hems of our jumpers. We enjoyed the outing, rain and all because it was a change in our usual activity.

imperturbable ~ When I first met Stephanie, I thought that she was imperturbable in fact, I had known her for almost 3 years before I ever saw a whit of perturbed behavior and it was aimed at me when she felt I was being too hard on our daughter. I found out that with the placid Miss Teffers lets down her imperturbable facade that she can be downright scary.

camaraderie ~ Stephanie and I have a wonderful camaraderie we have been together for 14 years and for 12 of them we have spent most of the time constantly together. We have seldom been apart more than a few hours in all that time and spend most of our time in the same 4 walls 24/7. We seldom squabble and enjoy each others company anew with each passing day.


Is this a washout? Posted 07-03-2010 at 12:22 AM by ardeeann rambunctious bilious syllogism concrete harangue grovel recompense alleviate exploration sybaritic washout iterate

rambunctious ~ I come from a rambunctious family we have been known to wrestle, give indian head burns or undie grundies at a moments notice. People who are around us for the first time sometimes don't know what to think of us.

bilious ~ He was a hateful old soul with a bilious personality. It was hard to find anyone who felt any grief when some robbers offed him one night down the street from his home. We may sound a bit hard-boiled but it is a moot point because we just didn't miss his constant tirades at people merely walking past his house on the sidewalk or street.

syllogism ~ Sherlock Holmes was the master of deductive reasoning or syllogism, when solving crimes. He had his own method for gathering evidence and making sense of the information before him.

concrete ~ Sometimes I find myself the victim of concrete reasoning and thus get stuck in the "mass" of the matter rather than the logic. When I am only seeing in terms of "black and white" I miss the subtle shades of gray that can help a situation to make more sense.

harangue ~ I found myself, often and unnecessarily, being harangued by my sixth grade teacher who for whatever reason did not like me and seemed to take delight in making my life miserable. I found out later that she was known as the "witch" of the school we attended. For years I had thought it was just me that she was so cruel to.

Grovel ~ Buster was down on his knees, slobbering, crying, begging and groveling for his life as he knew that his past had caught up with him and that he was about to die for raping and killing the little Baker girl. He had always been a suspect but when her little doll turned up in his garage it was determined that he indeed was the perpetrator. The sheriff gave her relatives and hour to find him before he went to arrest Buster. By the time the sheriff found Buster he was dead and dismembered. It had been a horrible death, just like the one experienced by little Gloria, only Buster deserved to die.

Recompense ~ although Buster was dead and mutilated there was no way that his execution could recompense the Baker family for what had happened to Gloria or all of the suffering they had endured for twenty years. It was just a hollow end to all those years of wondering who exactly had butchered their little girl.

Alleviate ~ It may appear on the outside that vigilante justice helps to alleviate the pain suffered by victims and their families but in truth it just adds to the tragedy that occurred in the first place.

Exploration ~ Sydney was ready to climb down into the cave and look for crystals. He had grown up with exploration as part of his being. He and his mother had been spelunking, tracking and engaging in all kinds of outdoor activities all of his life. Now he was going to explore a new cave and hopefully find some crystals for his collection.

sybaritic ~ Suzanne was a sybaritic nymph, accustomed to the finer things in life and enjoying the luxury that her husband Ian could provide for her. She was spoiled in a way that most women could only dream of.

washout ~ This whole exercise may be a washout as I may have used these word prompts before but cannot remember for certain, so here I am using them again.

iterate ~ I would like to iterate that while my life may seem shallow and indeed even empty but it is full and that I life every minute to its maximum level of enjoyment and do not let opportunities for living fully pass me by.

Allele Posted 07-02-2010 at 04:30 AM by ardeeann The alleles that most people are familiar with relate to blood typing. There are three basic blood types, A, B and O...depending on the alleles one may be AA or AO which would have you being type A, BB or BO which would have you being type B, AB which would create the unique blood type AB or OO which means your would be blood type O. Each letter in the blood types A, B and O represent an allele.


I shall try not to be tedious... Posted 07-02-2010 at 04:19 AM by ardeeann gist erudite reaction economize ellipse potent gratification symbolism asexual slavering satiated blackball ostracize contemptible tedious melancholy dispassionate

gist ~ Sarah had the gist of what she was trying to say down pat but she just couldn't get the words from her brain to her tongue without a great deal of difficulty. It made communication most uncomfortable at times.

erudite ~ Martin was quite erudite in nature and this showed as he worked on his doctorate and dissertation, yet at times he found himself floundering in the whole process. Higher education can be a bit overwhelming at times especially if departmental politics come into play between a department chair, advisor and student.

reaction ~ Margaret's reaction to the brutal murder of her brother was understandable, the woman was totally distraught at one moment and violently angry at the next. No one was surprised at her killing his murderer within minutes of his being bonded out of jail.

economize ~ In these difficult financial times it is prudent to economize to the maximum extent, one does not know when one might find one's self in a state of joblessness or other fiscal dilemma, if one has prepared for same the blow may be less harsh.

ellipse ~ Ellipse is an architectural term that is difficult to formulate a sentence or paragraph for especially when you thought the word you were dealing with was ellipsis...which is entirely another word all together. Despite reading the definition of ellipse several times I am at a loss. Gosh, I hate that.

Thanks to Wikipedia I am pleased to announce that the rings of Saturn appear to be an ellipse.

potent ~ The muscle relaxer the doctor gave me was very potent, it did its intended job but also left me rip roaring "drunk" and unable to function in a normal manner.

gratification ~ Delayed gratification is a term we often hear when there is discussion of the need to wait a bit before acting, we are told that delayed gratification is a good thing, in fact people act as if it is an important building block of "character" to be able to display delayed gratification. Instant gratification is much more fun and delightful, there is a bit of serendipity in moments of instant gratification that are sometimes more important than being stodgy and building "character."

symbolism ~ Symbolism is often important in art for example Grandma Moses often painted beautiful flowers which were symbols of female genitalia. The art form said one thing but the symbolism another that was quite different unless you consider the flowering of womanhood.

asexual ~ When we were interviewing for a new professor in the graduate school of social work there was a candidate that many considered to be lesbian and this was considered to be an asset to add balance to the primarily hetrosexual staff, however, after she was hired and began to work in the school it was quickly determined that she was much more asexual, in some ways a sexual neuter, than homosexual. This disappointed the GLBT students who had supported her in the hiring process.

slavering ~ Nathan was a slavering idiot who would suck up to anyone in authority if he thought that it would benefit him in achieving his professional goals.

satiated ~ After finishing the grand feed at the Chinese buffet we were all totally satiated and no one could even consider eating birthday cake even though my sister's birthday was the stated purpose for the gathering.

blackball ~ Alvah Bessie was one of the Hollywood Ten a scriptwriter who was blackballed and ostracized for having suspected communist connections. He refused to testify in front of the HUAC and defied the McCarthyism of the day. Mr. Bessie was imprisoned for standing up for his beliefs and was unable to get a job because he had been considered a liability for holding to his right to remain silent.

ostracize ~ We are finding ourselves in times much like the reign of McCarthyism where good people are considered to be suspect and unAmerican for refusing to engage in jingoism and support the trampling of personal rights by federal and state governments. These people are ostracized and persecuted for standing up for individual rights.

contemptible ~ It was contemptible the way the police treated Janice after she had been raped by her husband. They acted as if he had the right to have sex with her at any time and in any manner he desired since they were married.

tedious ~ Sometimes parenthood is tedious, oh don't get me wrong, there is joy, great joy in fact, but there are dirty diapers, snotty noses, spit up, 3 am feedings and more, this is while children are still infants. The tedium can grow when the children get older. This is why one should carefully consider whether or not to ever have children.

melancholy ~ Lisa was grasped in the clutches of melancholy after her grandmother died. Her grandmother had reared her in the absence of her alcoholic parents and had been the only person to show Lisa any affection. With her grandmother's passing Lisa felt more alone than she ever had before.

dispassionate ~ Maria was not at all sentimental in fact, she could be well described as dispassionate and aloof from the emotions that one normally experiences in life.


On being kinky at Kroger's... Posted 06-28-2010 at 11:35 PM by ardeeann evocative spew ersatz domination specious recumbant satirical deciduous scorn daybreak beeswax tribulation pantyhose interminable

This is an evocative tale filled with specious and satirical comments that could evoke scorn and cause some to spew venom where none need be spilled, in fact, this was a private conversation between two lovers and was really nobody's "beeswax" but as the day is long and daybreak comes in the morning there will always be those who will take it upon themselves to create mountains out of molehills and interminable conversations to the tribulation of their audience about the the business of others around them, to no good end I may add.

It all started when a young man was lying in a recumbent position under a deciduous tree talking with his love who was looking at a "Just My Size" catalog...he was staring at the clouds when she mentioned that they had pantyhose at a great price. As a lark he mentioned getting some extra pairs so he could tie her up when they played at bondage and domination games.

He said he could confine her to the bed, cover her with Reddi-Whip and lick every bit of it off of her Rubenesque figure until she begged for mercy. She laughed and asked if he would want a cherry on top. Their mirth and playfulness was evident. They were enjoying their torrid little conversation.

The woman then found nursing bras in an interesting apricot color, she found that to be unusual and showed them to her love. He looked the bras over, agreed that the color was unusual but then stated that they should get one and engage in some kinky behavior at Kroger's. Well, this brought color to the face of the young woman as she realized that two older women sitting on a nearby park bench were listening to their conversation and muttering to themselves at how sordid the young lovers were.

To these old biddies there was nothing but debauchery and depravity being espoused in what they saw in a display of moral turpitude when in fact, the young lovers were just engaging in serendipitous play the would never be understood by the cantankerous old women who were contemptuous of the loving banter and perhaps more than a little jealous that they would not have someone murmuring sweet nothings to them when they arrived home. There was a dearth of understanding for the bloom of love and it was quite heavenly when the two ersatz and spurious old ladies stopped their unreasonable twaddle and left the lovers to their immensely enjoyable afternoon spending loving languid hours at the park basking in the sunshine.


Not Just A Kitten Any More... Posted 06-28-2010 at 11:01 PM by ardeeann variant apogee viable eclectic culinary paucity transmute integral egregious sidecar


This is a variant of my usual word prompt and I hope that it will be viable in its paucity, but you see, there is this person who is an integral part of my writing these days and I wanted to write something just for her. This little paragraph will not exactly be the apogee of my writing career but in its own transmuted way I hope that it will appeal to the less egregious of my readers and hold some worth to the fraidy cat who is not just a kitten any more.

I know that this is naught but eclectic babbling and what I would really like to do is serve up some culinary delight that we could chat over as we drank sidecars or chocolate-tinis and celebrate her birthday in the apogee of style without getting too debauched or depraved. It would be fun to shower her with gifts, treats and books to observe her birthday. She has been such a staid supporter of mine that I would like for her to know that she is truly appreciated and I want to thank her for fostering my little writing exercises.

You are more like a lion but you certainly are not a kitten any more. Thank you Fraidy Cat!

Authentic Debauched Temperate Sunrise Posted 06-23-2010 at 02:40 AM by ardeeann Updated 06-27-2010 at 12:28 AM by ardeeann verdant depraved affliction resourceful debauch penurious authentic swindled domestication rupture groveling fortuitous proclivity droll waspish explicit sunrise temperate ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Verdant ~ The verdant countryside was filled with rich green fields, little frolicking lambs and majestic horses that were running through the pastureland.

Depraved ~ There was a depraved killer loose in the city. He had been arrested for multiple murders, running a criminal enterprise and pandering yet the judge had granted him bail.

No one was safe while he was free to roam the city and wreak havoc on the citizens. The enforcers were out. They would whack him and leave him to die a slow and sordid death. If the criminal justice system would not do its job the enforcers knew just how to take care of such problems. Each enforcer hoped that she or he would be the one to kill the bastard and make the world a safer place to be.

Affliction ~ The enforcers usually just went for the quick kill but some targets were destined for the affliction of great pain and suffering. The enforcers had been known to eviscerate such victims and leave them to die with their intestines lying on the ground beside them.

It was a gruesome death to be sure but when it happened you can be sure it was deserved.

Resourceful ~ The school girls were as resourceful as Scarlett O'Hara from "Gone With The Wind." They needed velvet gowns for the upcoming Renaissance Faire and the old red velvet curtains from a former movie house were destined for the dump. The girls rescued the curtains and made dresses for themselves and tunics for the boys. It was a great exercise in repurposing items from their original state to a new one in order to save money and prevent waste.

Debauch ~ The old man had been the paramount of debauchery in his younger days, seducing young girls and boys, it didn't matter to him, and then using them to slake his lust, yet when he reached middle age he left behind his wicked ways, settled down with a wife and began a life of atonement by funding shelters that catered to the kids who lived in the streets.

He did not every visit the shelters he funded even though invited to do so many times. He knew that his wicked past would always haunt him and he dared not confront it while acting like a humanitarian hero. Mitchell stayed in the background, wrote huge checks and the left ample money in his will to continue the work he had started to repay the Universe in some way for his debauched, sordid past.

penurious ~ Somebody was killing the penurious old men who lived in the "camps" of the poor and homeless. It seems that they were lured away with liquor and hot meals, the remains of which were found with their decapitated bodies. Their heads were never found and the police had no suspects.

Whoever was doing these killings fit right into the background and did not stand out in any way.

Authentic & Swindled ~ Jasper was an authentic conman who had swindled many a senior citizen with his tales of hard luck.

Jasper would begin to attend church and get to know some of the seniors by helping them in and out of their cars, assisting them on the stairs and bragging about the dishes the old women would bring to the Wednesday night potlucks.

After Jasper had gained the confidence of a particular senior citizen he would confide that his father (or mother) was dying and that he had no way to get home. The "mark" would often give Jasper their credit cards and/or large amounts of cash, as a loan, to help him to get home to his ailing parent.

By the time they figured out Jasper had taken them for a great deal of money, he was long gone as was their pride and a great deal of their savings. Most of the "marks" never went to the police because they were so embarrassed at having been taken advantage of so badly. In the meantime Jasper was in another town working his debauched magic on another unsuspecting senior citizen.

Domestication ~ The domestication of the cat has not been as successful as the domestication of the dog. The dog willingly enters into a life of servitude while the cat, well the cat, has servants, they may be called owners but they live solely to serve the cat that they have brought into their home to keep them in line and teach them the true meaning of humility.

rupture ~ I felt my tendon rupture as I was running up the hill. The pain was pure hell as I tried to be able to get to a place to stop, sit and rest. I was miles from my car and knew that I would have a hard time walking from my current location to my vehicle. It was a helpless feeling to know that I was in such circumstances.

groveling ~ He was groveling at the feet of the man who held a gun on him. The bastard knew he was going to die and he knew the reason. He had raped his granddaughter and his son-in-law was going to blow his brains out. There was no way to talk himself out of this situation, he couldn't help the fact that he preferred sex with little girls but he knew he should have been more discrete than to diddle his own granddaughter. Suddenly there was a sound of thunder...

fortuitous ~ It was more than fortuitous that the CEO of the company sold all of his stock holdings just days before the company declared bankruptcy and the stock became worthless. He was laughing all the way to the bank while his stockholders were left without a farthing. He didn't care, he got his money, they were fools to not sell when there was an opportunity to do so. Of course, he never saw it coming when one of those fools decided to blow him away. The former CEO should have been more careful about walking freely on city streets after plundering the company. It cost him his life and another man his freedom.

proclivity ~ Jane had a proclivity for slutiness. She dressed seductively and often gave "welcome to the company" blow jobs to the new male managers. She couldn't type worth a darn but she had a magical mouth and it had gotten her many promotions over the years.

Jane didn't care about her reputation. She had a nice apartment overlooking the Park and a healthy bank account. Every time she had sex it helped her to be a woman of means. That was worth being considered the company harlot.

droll ~ Wycliffe had a droll sense of humor...he was a bit odd and yet his dry wit often caught many of guard and could show a buffoon for what he was.

waspish ~ She was a waspish woman who would verbally slice you to ribbons. Her tongue took no prisoners and only left behind virtual corpses in her wake.

explicit ~ Myra was explicit in her instructions. She made certain that everyone understood exactly how she wanted things done so that there would be no mistakes in the project.

sunrise ~ The sunrise was rapturous...I have seldom beheld such beauty and wished that my camera had been at the ready. I was so taken by the loveliness of the break of day.

temperate ~ Ah to live in a temperate climate where there were few extremes in the weather. It would be nice to expect that the temperature would be between 70 and 75 during the day. I can dream can't I!

High Density Gloom Interposed With Sordidness Posted 06-23-2010 at 01:56 AM by ardeeann gloom density detritus characterization gardening modicum meander sordid interpose


Gloom ~The gloom and doom feeling of the place was giving me the creeps, it was if this was a place for bad things to happen and happen often. I am a hardboiled kind of a gal, not much gets under my skin but this place was giving me the jim-jams.

Density & Detritus ~ The density of the detritus strewn around the joint was amazing. It reminded me of that documentary "Gray Gardens." There was trash everywhere you stepped and god only knows what was under it. I didn't know how I had gotten myself into this situation but my buddy Sal was going to hear about it for sending me here to check things out. Shudder!

Characterization ~ It may sound as if my characterization of this place is a bit overblown but when I found the bodies hanging on hooks in the old library I knew that I hadn't been wrong about my feelings about this place. I called 911 on my cell phone and felt much better knowing the police were on their way.

I didn't know who was responsible for these murders or where they may be lurking but I didn't want to hang around any longer than I had to. I wanted back up and I wanted it now.

Gardening ~ all of the sudden I saw movement outside, here it was after midnight and it looked as if there were two old ladies gardening. They were cutting flower and placing them in a basket as if it were the most normal thing to be doing in the middle of the night at a house with stiffs hanging on meat hooks inside the house. I shook my head. I didn't know what to think.

Modicum & Meander ~ I wondered who these old bats were and if they even had a modicum of good sense. I mean this whole place was a nasty dump even if the flowers still did bloom in the untended garden.

I decided to meander outside to see what they were doing and who they were while I was waiting for the cops to show up. There were strange goings on at this old Gothic mansion.

Sordid ~ As I eased outside I saw the most sordid display you can imagine. All over the gardens there were skinny little crack whores snuffing old men they had lured from the mission as a man of medium build was filming their actions on video. I almost tossed my cookies.

The men had to be drugged so that they weren't screaming at being carved up the way those sluts were doing. In the middle of it all, not three feet away were the old ladies cutting flowers oblivious to the activities behind the overgrown privet.

I stayed in the shadows, because the last thing I wanted was to be one of the unlucky stiffs before the cops got there. This situation was getting nastier and more out of control with every passing minute.

Interpose ~ Suddenly there were coppers everywhere interposed among the crack whores, the video taping maniac, the little old ladies, the dying bums and the bodies impaled on meat hooks. I had never been so glad to see the police in my whole life.

As I walked past some disembodied heads I got to the police like, the Sargent said I looked shaken, he had me sit in one of the cruisers for a while before they got my statement. It was a moot point by now but I don't think that Sal really wanted to find out more about the guy who owed him major bucks from some gambling debts which had been my whole point in visiting this place. I was going to have nightmares and my pal was going to owe me a few drinks.


Ironic sarcastic amanuensis! Posted 06-22-2010 at 07:14 AM by ardeeann sarcastic jibe taunt contemptuously maladroit happy-go-lucky ironic amanuensis delight insightful extraversion proximity virtue contentment honorarium

The sarcastic amanuensis would often taunt my happy-go-lucky clerk with jibes and seemed to delight in her discomfiture. They worked in close proximity and it was ironic that this insightful and extroverted little file clerk would squelch her extroversion under the contemptuously rude behavior of the amanuensis and allow herself to come across as maladroit when in fact she was very adept at her job and in her skills.

The clerk got the last laugh however for while she was working under these adverse conditions she was going to night school and upon graduation found a job as a consultant for literary agents. She received substantial honorariums for her speeches and her contentment was palpable while the sarcastic amanuensis continued in her role making copies and working in an assistant's position, ironic no?