James/Edward is very unhappy with me, you see his name is really Edward. I was celebrating the fact that as I was getting ready to write his story that his name was not Edmund because I did not want anyone to think I was copying off of another vampire story as I am not, my story started in 1968...literally...this is not just the date for the novel but I met James/Edward in 1968. So, I seriously predate a certain nouveau vampire novel.
Anyway, I was telling my roommate that James Edward insist that I write his story and that I was glad his name wasn't really Edmund like the "new" vampire story. To my dismay she told me that the current vampire heartthrob is named Edward not Edmund. I was crushed as I certainly have no desire to be confused in the world of vampires and I do not want anyone to think that I am copying my precious vampire guardian off of a teen "heart throb" vampire, so I decided to call Edward, James. It is a nice name...it has a similar feel and Edward hates it with a passion. It is not a good think to mess with a vampire, even one you have known and loved for 42 years but I had to hold firm. I could not use his real name and I wasn't going to make up some convoluted name. James is a nice name and so, Edward will be James in my story whether he likes it or not.
Edward had been off pouting quite a bit. It is amazing that a 200 or so year old vampire can pout but he can be quite petulant. I think it is a male thing. However, James is how I will refer to him and he will get over it with time. I hope. Welcome to the world of living with and loving a vampire.
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It was a sticky summer evening. My fan was blowing on me in an attempt to stir the air and assist me in sleeping in the humid conditions. Suddenly I was aware that there was a man in my room staring at me. I was frightened, horrified even, I opened my mouth to scream and now sound would come out. I tried again and still there was no scream escaping only a weak sound of terror.
I started crying hysterically and pulled my top sheet over my head. I hoped that it would offer some modicum of protection.
After what seemed to be hours, I looked out again and he was gone. I got up, turned on my light and made sure that the attic door was closed. My bedroom, bathroom and the attic covered the entire top floor of our house. The attic door was at the back of my closet and I tried to make sure it was always closed even though my closet door was often left open. I had felt a presence in the attic and I did not want it to come into my room without me being aware of its comings and goings. As I checked, I noted that the attic door was closed. I closed my closet door, went back to bed and slept fitfully until my mother called me for breakfast.
"Mama," I whispered as I came down for breakfast,"there was a man in my room last night." She looked at me with scorn and disbelief.
"You must have been dreaming," she said hurridly, as she prepared breakfast.
"Mama, I wasn't dreaming, there was a man in my room. I tried to scream for you but no sound came from my throat. I was so scared."
"Sassy Ann, you have a vivid imagination. There was no man in your room, it was a dream, go eat your eggs and get ready for school. I don't have time for this nonsense. We have things to do."
I went to the table with tears dancing in my eyes. I didn't know what to say or do. I knew that there had been a man in my room and I didn't know how to make mama believe me. I knew that I was on my own in dealing with him whoever he might be.
At school that day I was in a quandary, I didn't know whether to talk to any of my friends about this strange "visitor" or if I should just keep it to myself. I would have to wait to see if he showed up again so that I could learn more about him.
That night I sat up in my bed until I could not stay awake any longer. There had been no sign of the stranger and I began to wonder if it had been a dream like mama had said. I just didn't know. It all seemed so real.
A few weeks later I woke up feeling hot and sticky from the humidity. There he was, standing just a few feet from my bed, staring at me. I wanted to scream but knew that it would do no good. Just as quickly as I had seen him, he was gone. I didn't know what to think. I began to wonder with his rapid and strange comings and goings at night, if he might be a vampire. He didn't look like Barnabas Collins from what I could tell and I hoped it wasn't him. Barnabas gave me the creeps and I didn't like him one bit.
The next day at school I talked to Gloria, one of my friends about him. "Gloria, I said,"I am not sure but I think that there is a vampire that has been to my house."
Gloria got all excited, "A vampire, really, what has happened? Did he bite you on the neck? Do you think it is Barnabas?"
I told her what had happened, that I hoped it wasn't Barnabas, told her I had not been bitten on the neck and showed her my neck to prove it, then I asked her not to tell anyone. I didn't have many friends at that school and I didn't want people making fun of me.
Gloria swore not to tell anyone but made me promise to tell her if anything else happened with the vampire. I told her that I would because I certainly didn't have anyone else I could talk to about it.
The rest of the day I wondered who my strange visitor was. It certainly perplexed me because there really wasn't any way to easily get into my room and our doors were looked tight every night. It was a mystery to me.
A few nights later he was back, this time I was able to talk to him. I hadn't gone to sleep yet and I saw him sitting in my desk chair looking at me. "Who are you,"I asked, timidly.
"My name is James,"he responded.
"Are you a vampire," I inquired.
"Yes, I am but don't worry, I am not going to hurt you," he said kindly.
"Why are you here," I queried.
"Because you need someone to care for you and look out for you. You need a friend," he answered quietly.
I started to cry. If every anyone did need a friend it was me at this time in my life. In less than a year I had been to three different schools, we had moved from Louisiana to Arkansas and I was thrown into total culture shock. At my school in Louisiana we played marbles and Barbie dolls during recess. Here in Arkansas there were girls in my sixth grade class that were talking about smoking, french kissing and making out. One girl was making out with her step-dad and another was having sex with her mom's boyfriend while her mom worked at the Toddle House on the late night shift. She was afraid of getting pregnant.
It was hard to make friends at school and things at home were not very good. My daddy was having to work a lot of long hours, he and mom fought a lot, it was very stressful. My little sister was a suck up and got her way with mom and dad while frankly I was a little hot head who would tell them off if they got in my face about homework or working around the house.
I didn't mind helping around the house but nothing I ever did was right, my mother was constantly harping at me about how I did things, including how I folded the towels for heaven's sake. I got tired of listening to her constant griping. I finally would tell her that if she didn't like the way I did it she could do it herself. Of course, this would get the snot slapped out of me. Being slapped did not make me want to be any easier to get along with, in fact, I was often more surly.
My sister on the other hand would change the subject when mom was griping at her, make her laugh and my sister, Donna Kaye would get by with anything. Mom never made her redo anything she did and I can assure you she didn't even work as hard at things as I did. It made me so mad that I could scarcely stand it. In fact, writing about it now makes me angry.
My mother knew that dad was stressed out from all the hours he was working but when he'd get home she'd get him all jacked up about what a terrible daughter I was and he would whip me with a belt. I hadn't done anything to deserve their abuse. They were just two unhappy people and I was a scapegoat for them to vent their frustrations on. It was a difficult time.
Then there was this man, named James who told me he was a vampire and that he wanted to watch out for me. I wanted him to make me a vampire too so that I could get away from the living hell I was experiencing.
As I talked to James that night I realized that he wasn't going to "bite my neck" and he wasn't going to take me away to be one of his "brides" but that he would come to visit me and let me talk to him about everything that was going on. At last, someone who I could talk to who seemed to really understand what was going on and who cared about how I felt. I was so grateful I didn't know what to think. As I told him thank you, James walked across the room, kissed me on the forehead like an uncle might do and then told me goodbye. Then he was gone. It was a little creepy how he could come and go like that but I wasn't going to complain. I finally had a real friend.
I told my friend Gloria about James, she was almost as excited as I was, she really wanted it to be Barnabas Collins who was visiting me. I told her I was glad it wasn't. A few weeks later Gloria was able to come by after school. Once we ditched my little sister Donna Kaye, we went looking in the attic to see if we could find James' coffin. I just knew it had to be in there but it wasn't and if it was we couldn't find it. We were very disappointed. I had looked several times by myself for it but hadn't found it. I had hoped that with Gloria's help I would locate it. This was a big attic after all.
We decided that since so many houses in the neighborhood had attics and basements that he must have his coffin nearby. We sure wanted to go check out everybody's houses. We were very curious.
Gloria did really good. She didn't tell anyone about James. She was new at the school too and figured we'd both be ridiculed if we told our school mates about James. We just talked in code about "Dark Shadows" and vampires. We giggled a lot because we knew what we were talking about but everyone else just thought we were talking about the television show.
James came to visit me on a regular basis after we first talked. He was amused that I was on the hunt for his coffin. James told me that his coffin was not in my attic and that even if it was I didn't need to be looking at him while he slept. I mentioned to him that he looked at me while I slept and he told me that I didn't have blood on my mouth, face or clothes. He said he tried to be neat but that sometimes blood did get on him and he didn't always change before getting in his coffin.
I tried to look nonchalant when James talked to me about the blood but it did kind of freak me out. I mean I knew he was a vampire but the blood talk made it even more real. I asked him to please never come to my house with blood on him. James said he would try not to.
James listened to me talk about problems at home and school. I was labeled a trouble maker at school because I hung out with some of the "fast" girls but they were the only people who would really talk to me at recess time besides Gloria. I admit I was also fascinated about girls my age having sex. I mean we were only in the sixth grade. It was very strange to me.
Because the teachers acted like I was trouble I became trouble, I decided to give them something to complain about. This, of course, got me in more trouble at home but I was in full blown rebel mode by this time. I was sick and tired of people being in my face and so my response was to fight back. If they wanted to be a pain in my butt I could dish it right back at them. This did not endear me to my teachers, the principal or my parents but by that time I didn't care. I was getting grounded, slapped around and punished for things that I didn't do so I decided to quit trying to be a "good girl" and give everyone their money's worth. I did a darn fine job of it too.
James tried to help me to back down and not fight so hard. He listened to me cry and he gave me lots of positive feedback about how smart I was and how much I could achieve if I would just let myself. James never put me down. He did get a little testy with me at times because I could be trying but he never got ugly with me. I could trust him with my thoughts and feelings.
I managed to stay out of trouble long enough once that I could have Gloria come spend the night with me. We tried to stay up all night so she could meet James. He didn't show while we were awake but he told me later that he did stop by to check on me after we went to sleep. James told me he didn't mind me telling Gloria about him but he didn't want to meet her. He said he didn't trust her completely. James said that he had watched Gloria and caught her in lies. He urged me to be careful about her but didn't try to keep me from being friends with her.
After several horrible months the sixth grade was finally over. I had never been so miserable in my entire life. I learned about suicide in the sixth grade and if I hadn't had James in my life I might would have attempted or committed suicide. I was that unhappy. It was a horrible year and still remains the worst year I can ever remember in my entire life.
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When I started seventh grade I was sent to a totally different school and only one kid from my sixth grade class even went to the new school. Gloria moved away during the summer and I didn't even get to see her to get her new phone number or address. I just hoped that I could make some new friends in junior high.
I can say that a new school led to a whole new perspective in life. I had great teachers who seemed to like me. I still had trouble making friends but it wasn't as bad as it had been in sixth grade. We changed classes every period and so there were seven opportunities throughout the day to make friends. It was so great.
My dad's work schedule settled down and things were better at home. I was doing better in school so everything was much calmer, happier and more relaxed. It was just better all the way around. My sister Donna Kaye was still a whiny little pain but besides that, life was good.
James continued to visit me regularly. He was so supportive and very happy for me that life was going better. James enjoyed my stories about school with its football games and other activities. I was a hall and office monitor. I volunteered in the school library and even though I still struggled with peer relationships I was well accepted by teachers and staff at the school. James listened attentively to me as I babbled on to him about everything.
I had a crush on my math teacher, but he was newly married and didn't notice the attentions of a love starved thirteen year old. It was probably just as well that he didn't because as James said, it wasn't good for teachers and students to be involved. James reminded me that he was married too. So I tried to keep that in mind.
I was beginning to develop sexually, not just budding breasts and starting my period...my hormones went into overdrive. I was horny and wanted to have a boyfriend so that I could make out. I was coming of age and it was painfully evident to me and to James. I didn't have anyone else to talk to about these feelings but James tried to help me to channel all that sexual energy into some of my school work and I did much better in school than I had the previous year. Besides my math teacher I swooned over some of the football and basketball players. I had some boys notice my highly charged sexual nature but they were not nice boys and I was not going to take any chances. I knew that bad boys could get a girl in trouble and I wasn't going down that path. James gave me a lot of support of avoiding these "near occasions" of sin. I will always be grateful for that loyalty that James showed me.
QED
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The eighth grade in some ways was even better than the seventh grade...not only did I have the attention of James who still watched over me and provided encouragement and support but I was attracting boys like crazy, I thing my pheromones were doing their job overtime. We had a building with lots of access to open spaces outside. I was often making out with boys right in front of the school but no one could see me. I went into the boys bathroom to make out and never got caught.
One of my biggest coups was my physical science teacher, now at that time in my life, physical science was not my cuppa tea so I didn't really pay attention in class but Mr. Mitchellson was paying attention to my budding breasts and the fact that I would "accidentally" rub his penis as I walked by. I had learned the year before the men think with their dicks and not their brains. I have found this lesson to be helpful throughout my life.
After a day of me being particularly challenging in class and not really paying attention Mr. Mitchellson told me to stay after class. It was his free period. I took control and he never knew what hit him.
I went into the storage room by his desk and motioned for him to follow. Before he had the door closed good my baby breasts were exposed and his mouth was hungrily nibbling at them. While his hands and mouth were busy on my tits, I was caressing his member until it was about ready to explode.
He wanted to take me fully but there was no way I was going to let that happen. I was a virgin and planned to stay that way until I was ready for being made love to the right way, not in some hot storage room. I did help him to "get off" in a towel in the storage room and we developed an understanding that involved certain favors he would receive as long as my grades were decent. I wouldn't be too outrageous in class but he wasn't to expect me to sit there and be quiet. The deal was sealed with allowing him to explore my womanhood. When he finished he put his finger in his mouth and said something about ambrosia. I knew I had him in my trap.
I had the head football coach in my snare too. I didn't have any classes with him as the teacher but he administered "licks" as punishment for students who acted out. I got my licks alright and I ran the leather paddle in my woman place so he could "visit" me any time. I don't know where I learned to used sex as a tool and a weapon but I only know that I was effective in doing so. My mother certainly was no vixen, nor were any of my female relatives. "Sabrina" was about the sexiest movie I had ever seen at that time so even though I picked up some tips from Audrey Hepburn in that movie I didn't learn about tits, stroking penises and using the flower of my womanhood along with its nectar to bring men to submission but at the age of 14 I was heady with the power I had obtained.
I don't know how but somehow James found out what I was up to. I don't know if he was feeding off of someone who knew me from school or if he had some kind of psychic powers he hadn't fully shared with me but he was irate and there was no talking my way out of how angry he was with me for using sex as a toy. James talked to me about how love making was precious and reserved for committed relationships not just a way to control the males around me.
After he finished his lecture, I looked him in the eye and said, "Feed from me. Make me yours."
James was taken aback. I think somewhere in the back of his mind he was infatuated with me and wanted to hold me but he knew that I was 14 years old and that I wasn't as mature as I thought I was. He said no, that he wouldn't feed from me, that I wasn't old enough, nor was I ready for the intensity involved.
I knew I had him where I wanted him. James would be mine. He might be about 200 years old and he would outlive me because he had already told me that he would not make me a "bride," but I loved him. I had loved him from almost the very beginning. My woman parts were throbbing with love and lust. I needed him to feed from me and to make me his completely.
"James," I told him, " I need to be loved and made love to. I need you to feed from me. I want you to leave your mark on me so that I will forever belong to you. No matter who comes later, I will have always been yours first. I am coming of age sexually and sometimes soon there will be a boy who will convince me to sleep with him. I want my first time to be with you. The man who loves me and who will love me long after I am gone."
James looked at me with his deep brown eyes, it was like they were engulfing me completely and making me fully a part of him. "May I take off your nightshirt," he said huskily. I nodded my assent. James looked at me fully as if seeing me for the first time. He ran his hands over my baby breasts, then picked me up and carried me over to my bed. As I lay there, almost scared, for a moment I found myself gently moving my hair away from my neck as if I knew what would come next. I was a bit afraid but this was what I wanted to be fully consumed by this man that I loved.
Before disrobing James helped me into a sitting position with him holding me close, I could feel the material of his suit on my skin, I could feel his breath on my next and as he held me I could feel his hesitation to take this next step but at the same time my intuition told me that he was ready, more than ready to make me his. Carefully he put his mouth on my neck and then with a pinch that caught me a bit off guard his incisors went deep into my jugular and he was preparing to feed from me. I could sense a sweet ecstasy overtaking me. I felt fulfilled as a woman just from this man's bite on my throat. I never wanted this moment to end, we were perfectly in sync...he was my master and i was his willing slave. I belonged totally to him and from that moment always would, no matter what else might transpire in my life.
Slowly he removed his fangs from me and drank deeply of my blood. Then as he held his mouth over my neck his tongue ran smoothly over the bite mark totally removing any evidence that he had fed from me. It was a sensual sensation as his tongue danced across my neck.
Then he carefully laid me back in my bed and covered me with my sheet. I reached out to him fearing that now that he had fed that he would leave me fulfilled in one way but not in another. James leaned over, kissed me and said, "Just a moment."
He then began to undress, from my bed I watched him waiting to see more of him, hungrily drinking him up with my eyes. I was astounded at just how white his but was and yet at the same time not totally surprised after all, his is a vampire.
Then I saw his manhood and noticed how large it seemed compared to how small my vagina felt, sometimes a tampon felt tight and James' penis was much larger than a Tampex. I decided to let go of fear. This man was going to make love to me and I to him as best I could. I shivered with anticipation.
James climbed slowly into the bed with me. I could feel his cool skin against my hot, parched feeling flesh. "I am not really alive," he reminded me, "I am one of the undead. I will feel cool, maybe even cold to you but that does not mean that there is not passion flowing through me." He kissed me and then added, "I want you to just lie back and let me make love to you this time. As it feels right you can touch me, hold me or caress me but don't feel pressured to do things right. Let me take the lead and fulfill you tonight."
With that James kissed me deeply, I could feel his tongue probing my mouth, I could taste my blood, I pulled him to me hungrily. As the kiss ended James began kissing me down my neck until he came to my nascent breasts, as he nibbled on a nipple and then drew it into his mouth I thought I was going to come undone, I had never imagined a man suckling at my breast, all of the sudden I also realized that I was totally clueless to the sex act, would be be like dogs when we did this. I did not know, I was woefully unprepared for this and beginning to feel ashamed of my lack of knowledge and my body.
James looked up, he had sensed the shift in my feelings. "Do you want me to stop," he asked. "No, please no," as sob tore through me,"I just don't know what to do." He came up and kissed me gently, let me worry about what we are going to do. You just let me make sweet love to you." With that he began to trace a line from my budding breasts to my womanhood and with a quick flicker of his tongue he brought me to the precipice of a pleasure so exquisite that it was almost painful.
James gently pried my legs apart and buried his face into my woman space in such a way that I thought I was going to die from sheer pleasure. As he moved his tongue within me one hand moved up and caressed my breast bringing my nipple to a rippled point. I had never known that such delight had awaited me. This was more than I had ever bargained for. James was pleasuring me, not just groping around with his hands on my breasts and in my vagina while having me jerk him off, I was being made love to by a master.
After several minutes of nibbling my soft, slick place James came up, kissed me and said, "If you are ready I will enter you with my penis. If not we can stop now." I could feel his engorged penis on my thigh I wanted nothing more than to feel it deep within me.
"Please, don't stop,"I said, "just let me know what to do."
He caressed my hair, "Tilt your pelvis upward. I will be careful as I enter you. It seems that you have a very small vaginal area."
I blushed with embarrassment, I didn't know if this was good or bad but I knew it was different. I tilted my pelvis upward as much as I could. I felt James guiding his penis into my vagina, at first it was very uncomfortable. I didn't know how it was going to fit and then all of the sudden it was as if my vagina was sucking him in and we were fitted together snugly. Instinctively I wrapped my legs around James' waist and could feel him stroking inside me, in and out there was a rhythm to our coupling. I could feel as his movement became more frantic and when he became stiff, hovering over me for just a minute, I knew he had come inside me. I held him tight with my legs.
"Rest on me for a moment, I am not ready to let you pull out just yet."
James acquiesced to my request and then there was a full communion of body and soul, James felt it too as my essence completely commingled with his. Up on his elbows he looked at me with surprise, "What did you just do, He asked.
"I shared myself fully with you," I responded,"I don't know how I knew to do this but it is a gift I have. Did you like it?"
"I loved it,"he answered,"that has never happened with me when I have made love to any other woman in all my years and here I am with a 14 ear old virgin and I am gifted with a feeling that I don't know how it can ever be matched. You are a marvel."
As he pulled his sticky penis from my vagina, James kissed me deeply. He then went into the bathroom to wash off, came to my bed, asked me how I was and we talked for a while.
I was fine, more than fine even and I loved lying in my bed feeling James next to me as I was in the in the afterglow of lovemaking. It was more than I could have ever imagined.
"You may be sore for a couple of days," he told me, "but it shouldn't be bad. It is not unusual for a woman to not have an orgasm the first time she has sex, so don't worry about that."
We talked a little longer. He then advised me that he had to get ready to leave. As he dressed I went to the bathroom to tinkle. As I wiped I noticed semen on the toilet paper and wondered how long that would come out of me and how much there was in there. I didn't feel that I could ask James about this. I decided I would figure it out as I went along.
When James was dressed, he kissed me again, I could taste my sex mingled with my blood. I realized I had forgotten to look in the mirror to see if I had the "mark" of the vampire on me. I reach up to feel.
"There is nothing there," James stated, "that is just something for movies and television. Rest assured, I have fed from you, made love to you and in some ways now own you. I love you my little dove. I will always watch over you and care for you."
Then with one quick kiss to the forehead he was gone. I had no doubts he had made love to me. My woman parts were throbbing but in a good way. I did kind of wish I had a bite mark on my neck but my mother would ask questions and really, I was not about to explain my James to her.
That night I slept so very well, fulfilled in a way that I had never dreamed possible before. The next day I woke early before my mother called for me. I wanted to see if there was a mark on my neck. Alas, there was not but I could tell by the feelings in my womanhood that I had been enjoyed by a man and could still feel the passion throbbing within.
I showered and paid special attention to cleaning the stickiness I felt in my woman parts. As I dried my hair I relieved the wonders of the night before.
I ate breakfast quickly so that I could leave for school as soon as possible. There was no one that I would be able to tell about my affair with James but I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and memories.
As soon as I was around the corner I lit a Salem and smoked deeply as I contemplated the wonders of being loved by a man like James. I knew that I could not cheapen our love by allowing other men and boys to paw at me. I would hold off and reserve myself only for the man who had truly made me a woman.
During school that day I found myself daydreaming and was called to task in my Spanish class for not paying attention. I was still to enthralled to be embarrassed at being caught lollygagging in class.
Once I was home again, I helped with housework and dinner, eager to make my escape to my room, waiting for the darkness and bedtime, hopeful that James would come back and make love to me again. Alas, he did not visit and I cried deeply into my pillow. I knew that I would never be the only person or the only woman in James' life but I wanted to possess him fully as he had me just the evening before.
Several days passed as if in a dream, I went to school, cared for my siblings, did housework and homework, all the while thinking of James and wishing that he would return to claim me as his. I missed his visits even if he didn't make love to me, I just wanted to see him.
Finally one night in June he returned, I awoke from a sound sleep to see him gazing at me. I held out my arms for him to come to me and he did. James moved my long hair away from my neck and fed deeply of my blood. I enjoyed the nick as his fangs pierced my neck and the feeling as he sucked the blood from me.
After he fed, James kissed me deeply and I enjoyed again the taste of my blood on his lips. He possessed me completely and with a certain surety he knew it without me having to say a word about same. When we finished kissing we talked, I had so much to tell him as he had been gone for so long. I told him of getting ready to go on vacation and then told him that I was going to be forced to go to an all girls high school. He laughed at my dismay about the school and encouraged me to enjoy my vacation to the fullest.
Finally, I asked him if we were going to make love. Quietly he told me no and that we would have to wait for another time. James then advised me that he would be gone for several months to a year to attend to business elsewhere. He assured me that when he returned he would come to me but I was afraid I was getting the brush off. Here I was totally in love with him and he was leaving for a long period of time. I was heartbroken and told him so through injured tears.
James held me close and reminded me that I was very special to him and that he would never abandon me. I had to take him at his word as I had no choice but to do so.
We kissed and engaged in some light petting although I did rub my hand over his crotch more than once. After the third time he got up and sat in a chair away from me for the rest of our visit. I decided he was serious about not making love that night but I had done my best to seduce him, using all the wiles that a fourteen year old girl can muster up.
He finally kissed me goodbye and I went to sit by a window to smoke. I didn't usually smoke in the house because I didn't want to get caught but I needed to clear my head and process through the fact that James was going to be gone for a long while. It was a difficult pill to swallow. I loved him and needed him but what choice did I have. He was gone and I was alone again even though he did promise to return at some time.