So Very Totally Flummoxed

The title of this novel is "Totally Flummoxed" and this author is just that. This is a novel about a brazen red haired hussy circa 1980...she is singing country songs all of the time, mostly "Luckenbock, Texas" by Waylon Jennings. She sees Luckenbock as a place that she can literally go to and escape her life. She is recently divorced, living with her parents which is pure hell as they are treating her like she is sixteen again. She is an adult with a child. She makes sure that her child is cared for but she wants to enjoy life and not just be tied to the constricted existence her parents are trying to force on her.

She is going to school full time and KNOWS that she should have never moved back in with her parents. They are unwilling to acknowledge that she is an adult and that she can engage in adult behaviors as long as she respects that she is living in her parents home. Finally after much hell and aggravation she has had all she can take of being with her parents so she makes arrangements to move out of their home and be a roommate with a very trashy woman that she met in some apartments she had lived in while she was married.

The woman had maintained a relationship with Lavonne and was now moving in with her even though it was a dicey situation but it is better than living with her parents. MC gets a job as a community organizer and is very active in the Democratic Party politics of the 1980 presidential election. It looks like Jimmy Carter will not maintain the White House but Ted Kennedy's run against him just further splinters the already devastated Democratic Party.

MC is not making enough money to pay rent and childcare too so she gets a job at a local answering service. The job starts at a little above minimum wage and because MC learns job so quickly she soon gets a small raise but this helps to pay the bills.

Lavonne's brother a Merchant Seaman comes to town. He and MC hook up, have an affair of sorts Dave, the brother, is virtually impotent. This remains a secret between Dave and MC.

Dave is very possessive of MC which chafes her because she is very promiscuous and wants her freedom to chose her sexual partners to meet her needs. This makes Dave angry but he doesn't do anything to make up for his inability to maintain an erection. He expects her to be faithful but there is not really a relationship to be faithful too.

Dave keeps talking about leaving and MC encourges him to do so because she wants to be free of him and his oppresive behaviors. He keeps postphoneing leaving and in a crazy act of desparation because she can't get rid of him MC marries Dave. Two days later he leaves to go to see on oil tanker.

MC has fight with roommate/SIL and moves into her grandmother's house. MC workds at answering service, dates and has affairs with customers because she could care less about the mearrige she felt coerced to acaquiece to. Dave finds out she is out most of the night and gets angry...she was actually out talking with a woman friend just drinking coffee and blabbing. He has fit, she says if he doesn't trust her then he needs to come home and get job here.

Dave decides to come back to town. MC drives to Mississippi to pick him up. He is a dick. He remains a total prick on the trip back home. While MC is at work a few days later he basically kidnaps his sister's seven year old son because he doesn't think she is taking adequate care of him. She actually isn't but that isn't real reason for his actions. He is looking for a fight.

MC talks him into returning kid and gets physically abused by husband. Physical, verbal and emotional abuse are ongoing. He finally leaves house one day and she is glad of it. She will be glad to get a divorce. He comes back, begs her to take him back and like an idiot she does. BTW, she is working he is not he is watching tv all day and making trouble with his sister.

Finally after MC goes to grocery store with son, Dave has a screaming fit because he thought she was gone too long and accuses her of whoring around, with kid at her side, yeah right. He starts hitting on her, kid runs in says don't hit my mommy and Dave knocks kid up against the wall. He is lucky he survived. MC picks up chair, knocks him in head with it, then kicks him in the head with him bleeding and dares him to get up. She sees what a pussy he really is. She picks up crying son, gets purse and leaves not caring how badly the SOB is hurt.

She goes to live with grandmother. MC works full time, takes care of kid and tries to have a life. MC works the night shift and has son in daycare during the day. She divorces second husband and never looks back.

MC falls in love with two men at the same time. They are as different as night and day, although they both need to grow up and quit abusing substances one pot, the other alcohol. MC has several affairs going on at one time. She is promiscuous but actually looking for love. After about 6 months MC learns that grandmother has cancer. MC changes job shifts to be double shifts on weekend only so that she can take care of grandmother. Grandmother's cancer progresses rapidly. She is diagnosed late may and dies on July 31st.

MC decides to go back to college, she keeps working double shifts on the weekend and goes to college to finish degree. She takes double class load both semesters and gradutates after doing two years of work in one year.

After college graduation has hard time finding job in social services field, stays at answering service, goes to 3rd shift job, still dates some but not so much. Relationship with both men she loves in toilet. One guy hung up on bitch of a woman and can't commit, the other just won't commit and will fuck anything with a cunt. MC decides to be celibate after New Year's 1982 when one of the men she loves moves in with one of her best friends. MC realizes that cannot make good choices in relationships and so quits having relationships.

Does see other guy she loves on occasion when he stops by but refuses to have sex with him! He is very erratic, gets married twice, gets divorced, gets back with 1st wife over next 10 years.

MC gets offered a job as an aide, mostly clerical, at Social Services, takes job but continues to work at answering service on weekends because she had to take HUGE pay cut to take job at Social Services but has potential to be higher paying job in future.

MC works at Social Services, gets progressively more responsibility with job and then after 6 months gets promotion. Goes to work as child protective services worker. Quits working at answering service as is working 60 to 80 hours a week at regular job and is working part time at local organ bank as well.

MC spends 4 years doing protective services work, foster care and child sexual abuse investigations. After this time gets promotion to job providing support in field to other county offices. Only lasts at this job about 4 months due to ethical issues and will not violate personal ethics to maintain job.

Goes to work in private non-profit sector as a child abuse investigator. After about 9 months gets promotion to director of investigations. Works pretty much around the clock primarily going home to shower, change clothes and spend short amount of time with son. Serious burnout ensues, when MC has to have a hysterectomy she is expected to work from her hospital bed 2nd day after surgery and has to go back to work full time 10 days after surgery because of demands of job. Finally total collapse from burn out. Leaves job, goes to graduate school to get MSW so won't have to do so much field work.

MC has rocky time in graduate school including son being bitten by a brown recluse, almost dying and having neurological side effects due to bite going systemic. MC does finish graduate school with good grades. gets job in mental health field but is still doing case mangagement because that is her first love in working with people. Still working 60 plus hours a week.

After 3 years gets promotion more responsibility more work time but no more pay. Spends three years at job then goes back to case management for a little over a year. Finally, during major depressive episode has major burnout episode and unable to work full time again. Major depressive episode lasted another year and a half. MC has ECT in an effort to break up depression, MC becomes manic and psychotic. This has adverse effect on personal life. MC ends up on disability, depresive episode finally ends but due to problems wiht ECT MC ends up with seizure disorder, severe memory loss (most of 5 years of her life are erased) and cognitive impairment.

MC has started selling personal belongings to keep from losing home and car. MC had begun a longterm personal relationship right before becoming so depressed, her female partner also became ill and almost died as a result of an appendectomy that went bad. Problems with incision healing, took 4 years to heal and recurrent bouts of MRSA.

Finally some healing for both...what started out as two professional women at the top of their game ended up as two women on disability eeking out a living.


Life with Teffers

How can I begin to describe the best 14 plus years of my life? I don't really know. At work in August of 1994 I was assigned to work with a paraprofessional to help handle my caseload. A few weeks after I met her she pulled out a lipstick to put it on and I fell smooth in love with her. Now there was a problem or two here. I was her boss and I didn't know she was a lesbian. I have a penchant for falling in love with unavailable people.

A few weeks later I find out she IS a lesbian but that she is living with another woman. Now it turns out that she is not "living with" this other woman, they are just roommates but I didn't know that. I was smooth smitten with this woman and she was taken.

I tried to do my TWO jobs and supervise Miss Teffers while trying to ignore the fact that I want her in the WORST way. I had it BAD!!!! As life is going on, I find out that she wasn't "with" her roommate but through her she has met someone she IS in love with. I was CRUSHED I didn't care about company policies and what have you. I wanted a chance to be with this woman.

Well, she moved in wiht the woman she was in love with and let's just say it was NOT a marriage made in heaven. There were many problems and after eight months there was a split and Miss Teffers was living within a mile of me. She also needed assistance about her daughter and school. Well, let's just say that I helped her out iwth the situation and was available if she needed me. A co-worker who was CLUELESS about the lesbian issue kept telling me that Teff was getting calls all of the time from "the other woman." This broke my heart because I was afraid they'd get back together.

Well, I needn't have worried because Teffers was not interested in getting back with her ex for her own good and for the good of her daughter. As it turned out her daughter and I bonded rather well.

On Christmas Day, Teffers had to work with me and after work was doing laundry at the facility. I visited with her as she did laundry. That was Christmas 1995, since then we have been virtually inseperable.

We would spend time together, go out to eat together and, of course, her daughter would go with us. Sometimes Zyoh (her daughter) would go skating with friends and we'd go have dinner while waitng for her.

Finally on February 16th, 1996 this situation came to a head. Zyoh was spending the night with a friend and Teffers and I were together. It turned out her hand was cold. I took her cold little patty cake into my hand and she rubbed her thumb on my hand and the top of my head almost blew off with desire. I pulled back a bit made sure she didn't feel that she was being coerced into a relationship because I was her boss. She said no and we never, ever looked back. We managed to "go slow" for three days. After that things got hot and heavy. For a while Zyoh didn't see much of either one of use because we were either working or making out.

Finally, in April Tefferes was sick and Zyoh knew that I would take care of her. They basically moved in at that point even though they didn't move in officially until August.

Teffers left the agency in December, right in time to have to have surgery, fortunately her insurance was COBRA'd and then I changed jobs in January. We celebrate our anniversary of starting to date on February 16th and our hand fasting on May first. We never fail to mention the fact that we have been virtually inseparable since Christmas 1995.

We have had a long hard climb. Teffers was sick from December 1996 until May 1997. She started school in August 1997. I lost my best friend to cancer November 15, 1997. I hit bottom with burnout March 5th, 1998. I started ect June 1999, Teffers had her emergency appendectomy in July of 1999. I had a slow climb out of psychosis and depression. Teffers incision took FOUR years to heal. She had 5 surgeries and 4 month long hospitalizations during this period. I had to do intensive and invasive bandage changes during this time.

Zyoh became depressed with everything that was going on and had a HUGE rift with her father. Teffers son Tizzle27 had some issues during this time with college and financial difficulties. We were living on less than 25% of our previous income and had numerous bills and issues to pay for. We had moments of tension but we grew stronger as a couple and still share our lives together.

We went from being at the top of our game to both being disabled but we get by. It is an interesting life.

Very Poor Novice Writing

in toto ~ The situation had to be looked at in toto, there was no way to dissect the puzzle pieces that comprised the whole, that would have taken too much time and energy. This was a "big picture" project that required vision and the ability to see beyond the obvious.

semantics ~ To many people like to play games with semantics, it is better to just say what is on one's mind than to piddle around with language usage that is better utilized in academic papers rather than in every day conversation.

fatuous ~ Jaybo is often full of fatuous comments in his status on Facebook. He loves to be a punster and plays games with words and semantics to be outright silly at times.

vitiate ~ Politicians often vitiate situations by playing pork barrel games and engaging in rhetoric rather than addressing the needs of people who elected them to protect their rights and to address their needs not to play semantics rubbish.

comminate ~ When one uses the word comminate visions of St. George and the dragon as well as Michael the Archangel and Lucifer come to mind. It reeks of acts of vengeance and retribution.

avuncular ~Mr. Moody behaved in an avuncular manner toward young Percy and was quite the mentor toward him, however Mr. Moody's intentions were not as upstanding as they had seemed at first blush. Mr. Moody victimized poor Percy time and time again until Percy could take it no longer and eviscerated Mr. Moody as retribution for his crimes.

cozen ~ Mr. Moody had cozened up to several of the vulnerable young men in the community. Taking them under his wing and then ravishing them when he got the opportunity. Many came to Percy's defense when he murdered the pedophile Mr. Moody.

euphemism ~ Tattle is a euphemism for telling tales out of school or even gossiping about others in a manner that would bring retribution to the hapless victim of the vicious and contentious accusations.

homespun ~ The widow spent her time crafting homespun yarn to be woven in to plain and simple clothes for her children as that was all she could afford. Their clothes might be home crafted but they were always clean and cared for.

misogamy ~ Many accuse me of misogamy when I have nothing against this institution of marriage in and of itself but do not believe that it should be forced upon those who have no desire to enter into a religious or civil contract with another. People should be able to choose partners as they will without expectations of marriage.

tedium ~ I find housework to be the height of tedium and will do almost anything I can to avoid same. I have never felt the need to be in the role of chattel and in my point of view housework is the domain of servants and hired help.

sienna ~ The skirt was a lovely burnt sienna color and the blouse was a forest green with sienna colored embroidery decorating it. Clara looked quite fetching in the outfit.

aesthete ~Harold was the consummate aesthete as he had much pleasure in the arts and would travel the world to visit museums and view grand architecture.

macerate ~ In order to make raisins more palatable in baked goods one needs to macerate them in water or juice prior to mixing the raisins in the batter so that they are soft and plump in the final baked product.

rotund ~ At five feet tall and three hundred pounds I am more than rotund I am corpulent to the maximum degree. If I were any heavier I would be almost debilitated by my weight.

feculent ~ After working all day in the fields the farmers britches were feculent and needed to be removed before he entered the house. They were thrown into a waiting tub of water so they could soak in order to make cleaning easier.

fulsome ~ It was a fulsome bounty of food placed upon the table which squeaked in protest over the heaviness of the feast laid before us.

enfant terrible ~ Simpson was an enfant terrible who shocked and appalled everyone at his rude and unconventional behavior.

batten ~ I ordered the crew to batten down the hatches as there was an icy gale battering the ship and creating a hazard that might cause use to sink.

shanghai ~ Male citizens of the United Kingdom were often shanghaied by the Royal Navy and forced to work upon the ships in often grueling conditions.

bedlam ~ There was complete bedlam in the day care center when the monkey brought by the zoo for show and tell escaped from the keeper and began running wildly around the facility.

obdurate ~ She was quite obdurate in her position on the subject. Nothing could compel her to change her mind despite entreaties and petitions from the people around her.

quiescence ~ The quiescence before the storm had lulled the populace into a sense of security that was soon destroyed when the tornado ripped through the town.

congeries ~ The joint was a congeries of boxes, papers and clothes all strewn about willy-nilly, hither and yon with no forethought whatsoever.

alpha-male ~ George fancied himself an alpha-male until Randall began to work at the agency and George then found himself very low on the pecking order.

uninhibited ~ Sally was totally uninhibited in her behavior. She had no qualms about stripping totally naked, climbing up on a table and dancing during the agency Christmas party. The odd thing was that she had not been drinking alcoholic beverages, it was just her natural personality.

resonance ~ His total resonance with the project was more than admirable it was amazing as he had never shown such a predilection for being so proactive in the past. His initiative was remarkable.

novice ~ I am just a novice at writing. I have spent many years trying to hone my craft and yet the ability to get my words from my brain to the keyboard often eludes me.

tapestry ~ the tapestry was richly woven and depicted battle scenes from the epic, "Beowulf."

foible ~ I have many foibles, not the least of which is a predilection for eating fast food even though it is not healthy for me.


hardboiled ~ Cy was a hardboiled detective, he never took any guff off of anyone and he was single minded in his pursuit of the truth in any case that he took. Cy never let sentiment get in his way. He didn't curry favor and he called the shots like he saw them. Cy didn't have a lot of friends but in his business friends just got in the way. He needed connections and facts but no personal attachments.

cogent ~ Della made a cogent and compelling case for why her lover couldn't have been responsible for the death of her husband. They had been together at a party in Hawaii when her husband was gunned down in New Jersey. It seemed that the alibi was tight but the police detectives wondered if Della's lover, Sal, had someone in Jersey who took care of the dirty business for him.

moot ~ It was a moot point about whether or not Della's lover, Sal, had been involved in her husband's death because when they arrived back in Jersey City, Sal met with an untimely end himself. Could Della be the puppet master pulling the strings?

dilettante ~ Sharon was a dilettante when it came to her study of music. She made a great show of studying the art but when it came time to dedicate herself to practice, Sharon couldn't be bothered.

tussle ~ Frank and Ernie were often seen tussling about in the grass, each trying to top the other. For twins they seemed to be more rivals than co-conspirators.

popinjay ~ Bernie was quite the popinjay; he fancied himself to be quite the man about town in his Italian silk suits, hand tailored shirts and crocodile loafers.

foster ~ Clara wanted to foster goodwill with the Coggins family because they had connections that she felt she could use to her advantage to get a good job that would pay well and help her to support her young son.

sanctuary ~ The animal sanctuary was protected by laws as well as animal guardians who wanted to assure that the endangered species were watched over and that no poachers would kill the animals for trophies or bush meat.

consecutive ~ The Macy's parade has been held for more than 80 consecutive years on Thanksgiving and was started by Macy's employees who were homesick for the parades that had taken place in their hometowns. Many millions of people now benefit from the actions taken by lonesome Macy's workers so very many years ago.

retrograde ~ Mercury retrograde is considered to be an astrological event in which there can be issues with communication. Many people pay attention to Mercury retrograde so that they can avoid issues regarding the subject of communication and personal discussions so that there are fewer opportunities for misunderstanding.

wryly ~ Sam commented wryly that the showgirls were less than attractive and seemed to be of a lesser quality that were in productions throughout the rest of Las Vegas.

brusque ~ Sid's manner toward Sally was brusque and abrupt. There was no reason for him to take her to task over such a small error. He made plenty of mistakes himself and no one ever talked to him like that.

proficient ~ Lucille was proficient at typing and could out pace any of the other secretaries in the pool, that is why when it came time for a promotion there was no question as to who would be the new assistant to the director.

torpid ~Joe's behavior was sluggish and torpid, it looked as if he had been drinking or drugged. The foreman couldn't have a backhoe driver in that state so he sent him home and told him to get some rest so he could work the next day.

penultimate ~ The penultimate chapter of Stilettos and Shirley Temples was disappointing only because we knew that the story was coming to an end and we wanted to see what the "Scot" and Mercedes might be up to next.

turgid ~ The king was turgid in his responses to the duke and made the rest of the court wonder what had transpired between the two men to create such a bombastic attitude on the part of the king.

stringent ~ William was a stringent taskmaster who made sure that everyone worked to their maximum capability to get the job done in the quickest and most efficient manner possible.

supercilious ~ Sarah was often supercilious in her attitude toward her coworkers which did not endear her to the rest of the sales staff. Because of her attitude the other clerks would try to keep her from serving the best customers.

intrinsic ~ The intrinsic value of the ring was more than Valarie had ever imagined. She had known it was a stunning piece but she was not prepared when she learned its true value.

uxorious ~ James had an uxorious attitude toward Penny. Their friends did not know what he saw in his wife and yet his dedication and fondness for her never wavered.

diabolical ~ Ruth plotted a diabolical plan for killing off her husband Fred because she was tired of listening to his droning about his past glories and she wanted to be free to explore a new life for herself.

redacted ~ Theodore redacted the book carefully because he wanted to impress his agent and editor. He had worked hard to get this story accepted and he did not want to blow his chance for future publication by being sloppy the first time out.

childlike ~ Sherry had a certain childlike quality about her that endeared her to friends, coworkers and family alike. She was charming and precious, her naivete was genuine and part of her intrinsic personality.

tremulous ~ Leo was tremulous as Alisha took his turgid penis into her cherry lipped mouth and began to suck on it with a passion that he had never felt from a woman before. It took all of his resolve to not ejaculate in her mouth and withdraw himself so that he could also give her pleasure as she had given him.

gap-toothed ~ Erica was gap-toothed and yet her smile was charming and lit up the countenance of complete strangers.

maniacal ~ Michael was maniacal as he tore through the house looking for some sign of his suspected infidelities on Leona's part. He hadn't been able to prove anything but he just knew that she was sleeping with Eddie.

leveraged ~ The leveraged buyout of the company created feelings of ill will between the two men who had once been close friends and business partners.

ursine ~ With his thick black hair on his chest and back Robert had a rather ursine appearance that appealed to Louisa who liked running her fingers through his hair.

gooseneck ~ The goosenecked lamp on the desk offered more than enough light for Earnest to adequately see the story he was writing.

chanterelle ~ Chanterelles and morels are mushrooms that can be hard to come by and are picked by people who have been mushroom gatherers for generations.

wispy ~ Her wispy, fine hair was easily disarrayed by the breeze. No amount of barettes or hairspray could keep it in place.

gobsmacked ~ Edward was absolutely gobsmacked when he found out that he had won the lottery. In an instant he realized that his dreams had come true.

binoculars ~ The binoculars were handy for the bird watching expedition and Sherilyn was particularly excited at seeing a tufted titmouse.

sloth ~ His lugubrious behavior reminded her of a sloth and she wondered for the umpteenth time why she had ever married him.

telephone ~ The telephone rang incessantly but it was a wrong number. The caller did not seem to believe this and continued to call over and over again.

cupboard ~ The cupboard was filled with all kinds of goodies, canned yams, strawberry preserves and fresh peaches that had been put up by Stacy's grandmother Mildred.

laminated ~ The sign was laminated and put on the fence so that the delivery people would take packages to the side door rather than taking them to the front porch.

milkshake ~ The chalky barium had the consistency of a milkshake and was hard for Elaine to swallow although she knew that the tests she was to have were important.

mirrored ~ The mirrored ceiling sparked Jillian's imagination and she could imagine watching Brad go down on her in the tiles that were above the bed.

Chardonnay ~ The Chardonnay was delicious and delicate. It nicely complimented the Chicken Paprika and fresh asparagus.

wharf ~ The wharf was covered with tourists who were eagerly taking pictures of the sea lions out sunning themselves on the barges and rocks.

screen ~ The screen had holes in it from the cats climbing on it. This allowed flies to get into the house and annoy the little dog who did not like being buzzed by the flies.

fire pit ~ The fire pit was filled with hot coals and we roasted wieners and marshmallows. It was a wonderful time just the kids and I enjoying the great outdoors together.

gruel ~ The gruel was thick and lumpy. It reminded me of wallpaper paste and I could barely gag it down.