DEATHMATCH!

Link: Helllooooo, sports fans! It's a perfect day for fighting here today in Infinity Stadium! I'm lucky enough to be joined by the...erm....lovely Samus Aran--

Link: *looks hurt* I'm not an elf....And it's a little hard to tell what you look like when you hide yourself underneath that suit all day...

Samus: I'll make you a deal. If your bad guy manages to beat mine, I'll take it off. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with it.

Link: Fine. Oh, which reminds me! Let us tell the audience about our two contenders today, shall we?

Samus: Certainly! *leans back in chair and props feet up on desk with a heavy clank, swiping the microphone out of Link's hand*

Samus: Ah look, here they come now. You might say we've got a theme going on here today, ladies and gentlemen: Bad Guys Who Just Don't Go Away. To the left is an organisim I unfortunately know all too well. That's right. It's that diaboloical lump of grey matter, the Mother Brain!

Metroid fans cheer as a two-story, dinosaur-esque alien creature lumbers into the arena, taking a long drag of a cigarette.

Samus: Never thought I'd hear them cheering for her...but I guess with all things considered...

Samus: *ignores him* The Mother Brain is the bad guy from my series of games, making appearances in both the original Metroid and Super Metroid. She has very many powerful attacks, but the one I'd like to see her opponent get by is the devestatingly powerful Lazer Brain attack. Hell, if it almost killed me, then it'll almost kill him.

Link: *swipes the microphone back from her* We'll see about that, Samus. There's more to this guy than meets the eye. Oh...and speak of the devil's wife. Here he comes now!

Zelda devotees cheer as a bulky, shadowy figure lumbers into the arena, his form revealed as he steps into the light to be a very ugly one indeed.

Link: *leans back* Ganondorf Dragmire, the ass-ugly Gerudo bastard fr--

Samus: Watch it, Link. We're Nintendo characters, remember. They'll censor us in a New York minute.

Link: Oh, you're right. A fine example of this is the man who amazingly got drunk on milk in one of my games...

Link: *ahem* Ganondorf Dragmire, the bad, bad, evil man from the Ocarina of Time who is famous for his ability to turn into a pig! He holds the Triforce of Power-- ¬_¬ Although he doesn't deserve it... -- which gives him great strength and the ability to be a formidible opponent. I wouldn't be surprised if he cuts the Mother Brain into sushi, really.

Samus: I'd let you get away with that if you were still ten years old...

Samus: Oh, quit it. We aren't the ones here to fight. *turns back to face the arena*

Samus: And that's the signal for the fight to start! Mother Brain lunges for Ganondorf with surprising speed, but Ganon nimbly dodges and draws his sword. Oooh, and Ganon takes the first hit! Yeowch, that's gotta hurt...

Black blood flows freely down Mother Brain's leg and across the ring where Ganondorf sawed a gash into her thigh. She looks a little dazed, and he takes this oppourtunity to attack her again, carving into her with a few quick swipes of his sword. She tries to kick him away, but isn't fast enough.

Link: I told you he was good, Samus. Just look at that. He's carving her like a Thanksgiving turkey! You might as well take that helmet of yours off. This is going to be a short battle...

Samus: Don't be so sure. She's known to strike back when you least expect it.

Mother Brain drops a bomb on the ground, but Ganon anticipates this and leaps up into the air, clearing the explosion as it spans the entire floor. While he's still airborne, though, she suddenly fires her Blue Rings of Death <tm> at him, catching him at the apex of his jump and hiting him again with twin lazers as he falls down.

Samus: Ah, a move she commonly used on me! She always tried to catch me off guard when I was busy jumping. I told you she's full of surprises.

Link: That couldn't have done him in, though. Get up, Ganon! I'M supposed to kill you! Moron...

Ganon tries to get up, but Mother Brain suddenly stomps down on him with one of her massive feet, grinding his face into the ground. Seeing that he's paralyzed for the time being, she drops three more bombs, sending him flying back up into the air where she can play target practice with him.

Link: *winces* I'm glad that's not me... Oh! Look at that! He just used the Triforce against her! She nearly went flying out of the ring! How'd he do that?!

Samus: Don't look at me. The Mother Brain's climbing to her feet now...Oh my...

Link: She looks like she's in major pain...just look at how she's wincing.

Mother Brain suddenly snaps her single eye open, locking it on Ganondorf. Without warning, she suddenly fires a lightning-quick beam of multi-colored light, blowing him backwards and through the wall, clear out of sight. Metroid fans cheer madly

Samus: The Lazer Brain attack. It's like getting hit by a speeding planet...Er, in your case, I suppose it would be a speeding Goron...Or a speeding Ingo...

Link: Well obviously! *blinks* Good Lord.....*sigh* Well, I guess this battle's over.

A pop from the crowd suddenly grabs their attention, as a very battered and bloody Ganon stumbles into the room. He's carrying with him a small burlap sack, and is grinning evilly, even though he looks half-dead.

Samus: He's got something with him...hey, isn't bringing in outside objects against the rules?

Link: Not unless they're Republican. Otherwise, they're the same as clobbering items, such as a Star Rod or Home Run Bat. But Ganon's actually playing fair, for once.

The arena goes silent as Ganon steps up to the center of the ring. Mother Brain is sneering down at him, and is about to attack when he opens up the bag and turns it upside down. The crowd screams and frantically rushes out the exit when they see what comes out -- and so does the Mother Brain.

Samus: *cringes* Ganondorf pulls the dirtiest trick in the book! Using a Pikachu to scare your opponent to death--that's not fair!

Link: Not fair, but still legal.*grins broadly* Now, Samus, let's see you hold up to your end of the deal. Or are you afraid because you have something to hide under there?

Samus: *clobbers him over the head with her gun* Watch that mouth of yours, elf boy, or I'll strangle you with my grapling beam!

Link: *takes off hat and rubs head sorely, looking hurt* You're mean, Samus...

Samus: Mean, but cute. *takes off helmet and winks at him, then stands and turns to head out* It's been nice hosting with you today, Link. See ya around... *walks out*


	DEATHMATCH! Link: Helllooooo, sports fans! It's a perfect day for fighting here today in Infinity Stadium! I'm lucky enough to be joined by the...erm....lovely Samus Aran-- ......... ...you are lovely...aren't you? Samus: Watch it, elf boy. Link: looks hurt I'm not an elf....And it's a little hard to tell what you look like when you hide yourself underneath that suit all day... Samus: I'll make you a deal. If your bad guy manages to beat mine, I'll take it off. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with it. Link: Fine. Oh, which reminds me! Let us tell the audience about our two contenders today, shall we? Samus: Certainly! leans back in chair and props feet up on desk with a heavy clank, swiping the microphone out of Link's hand Link: ......... Samus: Ah look, here they come now. You might say we've got a theme going on here today, ladies and gentlemen: Bad Guys Who Just Don't Go Away. To the left is an organisim I unfortunately know all too well. That's right. It's that diaboloical lump of grey matter, the Mother Brain! Metroid fans cheer as a two-story, dinosaur-esque alien creature lumbers into the arena, taking a long drag of a cigarette. Samus: Never thought I'd hear them cheering for her...but I guess with all things considered... Link: Why the heck is that thing smoking?! Samus: Stress-reliever. A lot of single mothers smoke. Link: O.o.... Oh...oh-kay... Samus: ignores him The Mother Brain is the bad guy from my series of games, making appearances in both the original Metroid and Super Metroid. She has very many powerful attacks, but the one I'd like to see her opponent get by is the devestatingly powerful Lazer Brain attack. Hell, if it almost killed me, then it'll almost kill him. Link: swipes the microphone back from her We'll see about that, Samus. There's more to this guy than meets the eye. Oh...and speak of the devil's wife. Here he comes now! Zelda devotees cheer as a bulky, shadowy figure lumbers into the arena, his form revealed as he steps into the light to be a very ugly one indeed. Link: leans back Ganondorf Dragmire, the ass-ugly Gerudo bastard fr-- Samus: Watch it, Link. We're Nintendo characters, remember. They'll censor us in a New York minute. Link: Oh, you're right. A fine example of this is the man who amazingly got drunk on milk in one of my games... Samus: nods Sickening indeed... Link: ahem Ganondorf Dragmire, the bad, bad, evil man from the Ocarina of Time who is famous for his ability to turn into a pig! He holds the Triforce of Power-- ¬_¬ Although he doesn't deserve it... -- which gives him great strength and the ability to be a formidible opponent. I wouldn't be surprised if he cuts the Mother Brain into sushi, really. Samus: ....... 'Bad, bad, evil man?' Link: I'm tryin' here! Samus: I'd let you get away with that if you were still ten years old... Link: -_-* Samus: Oh, quit it. We aren't the ones here to fight. turns back to face the arena >>Bell rings<< Samus: And that's the signal for the fight to start! Mother Brain lunges for Ganondorf with surprising speed, but Ganon nimbly dodges and draws his sword. Oooh, and Ganon takes the first hit! Yeowch, that's gotta hurt... Black blood flows freely down Mother Brain's leg and across the ring where Ganondorf sawed a gash into her thigh. She looks a little dazed, and he takes this oppourtunity to attack her again, carving into her with a few quick swipes of his sword. She tries to kick him away, but isn't fast enough. Link: I told you he was good, Samus. Just look at that. He's carving her like a Thanksgiving turkey! You might as well take that helmet of yours off. This is going to be a short battle... Samus: Don't be so sure. She's known to strike back when you least expect it. Mother Brain drops a bomb on the ground, but Ganon anticipates this and leaps up into the air, clearing the explosion as it spans the entire floor. While he's still airborne, though, she suddenly fires her Blue Rings of Death <tm> at him, catching him at the apex of his jump and hiting him again with twin lazers as he falls down. Samus: Ah, a move she commonly used on me! She always tried to catch me off guard when I was busy jumping. I told you she's full of surprises. Link: That couldn't have done him in, though. Get up, Ganon! I'M supposed to kill you! Moron... Ganon tries to get up, but Mother Brain suddenly stomps down on him with one of her massive feet, grinding his face into the ground. Seeing that he's paralyzed for the time being, she drops three more bombs, sending him flying back up into the air where she can play target practice with him. Samus: Look at her fire those strings of fireballs. Those are killer! Link: winces I'm glad that's not me... Oh! Look at that! He just used the Triforce against her! She nearly went flying out of the ring! How'd he do that?! Samus: Don't look at me. The Mother Brain's climbing to her feet now...Oh my... Link: She looks like she's in major pain...just look at how she's wincing. Samus: She's not 'wincing', elf boy. Mother Brain suddenly snaps her single eye open, locking it on Ganondorf. Without warning, she suddenly fires a lightning-quick beam of multi-colored light, blowing him backwards and through the wall, clear out of sight. Metroid fans cheer madly Link: eyes wide What the hell?! Samus: The Lazer Brain attack. It's like getting hit by a speeding planet...Er, in your case, I suppose it would be a speeding Goron...Or a speeding Ingo... Link: Well obviously! blinks Good Lord.....sigh Well, I guess this battle's over. Samus: Indeed. winks Mabye next time. A pop from the crowd suddenly grabs their attention, as a very battered and bloody Ganon stumbles into the room. He's carrying with him a small burlap sack, and is grinning evilly, even though he looks half-dead. Link: Hold the phone, ladies and gentlemen! Ganon makes a comeback!!! Samus: He's got something with him...hey, isn't bringing in outside objects against the rules? Link: Not unless they're Republican. Otherwise, they're the same as clobbering items, such as a Star Rod or Home Run Bat. But Ganon's actually playing fair, for once. Samus: Oh. Alright. leans foreward He's got me curious now... The arena goes silent as Ganon steps up to the center of the ring. Mother Brain is sneering down at him, and is about to attack when he opens up the bag and turns it upside down. The crowd screams and frantically rushes out the exit when they see what comes out -- and so does the Mother Brain. Samus: cringes Ganondorf pulls the dirtiest trick in the book! Using a Pikachu to scare your opponent to death--that's not fair! Link: Not fair, but still legal.grins broadly Now, Samus, let's see you hold up to your end of the deal. Or are you afraid because you have something to hide under there? Samus: clobbers him over the head with her gun Watch that mouth of yours, elf boy, or I'll strangle you with my grapling beam! Link: takes off hat and rubs head sorely, looking hurt You're mean, Samus... Samus: Mean, but cute. takes off helmet and winks at him, then stands and turns to head out It's been nice hosting with you today, Link. See ya around... walks out Link: O.O........... scrambles frantically to feet and dashes out after her Samus! Samus, wait!!!