The Abused Man

And a mans foes shall be they of their own household.

Matthew 10:36

Why do we war among ourselves?

From whence come wars and fightings among you? Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?

Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war; yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

James 4:1-3

Boys are not only abused by there Mothers, Aunts, Grandmothers or care takers as children or young adults, but as men. Girlfriends, lovers and the wife who love these men abuse them more frequently then we care to think about, and like women, men dont report the crime.

Many of the abused men are hard workers who care and support their families etc. to the best of their abilities. Men abused are not just poor men who are out of work, drawing unemployment or receiving state or federal checks each month nor the un-educated, but some of these men are highly educated and unfortunately many are construction workers, field workers, men in the military, white collared business men, men in the medical field, men working in our judicial system, men holding State and Federal Political Offices all over the world, men that are in the publics eye.

Abuse escapes no man once it starts.

For fear people will only laugh at them adding to their damaged egos or spirits. These added thoughts send men into bars, drugs, crime, other womens arms or into a depression that they cant recover from and at times men terribly depressed take their own lives or the lives of those they dont want to see hurt anymore. Then again some men just go to the store and never return while other men are so beaten down mentally they withdraw living in fear and do nothing to stop the abuser allowing him to be abused by the woman of his life over and over again.

For a short time during a relationship the man begins to believe things have changed because of the blinding love syndrome and unfortunately like women who are abused over and over again, believe they too deserve to be abused because they simply cant please this abusive woman they are with and begin to believe they are as bad as she says, and are simply no good no matter what they do.

What you see happening to women, happen to men on a much larger scale then we would like to believe and they too have a right to be protected and given support as women are.

Many times a male victim has no one or place too turn to for support, because many times they are already deemed the abuser of women by our society and our Judicial Systems, therefore they are very much doomed! When they try to seek help.

Hitting a man isnt the only way for a man to be abused. Words that demean, sarcastic or hateful attitudes are also just as abusive. A word or words that strip a man of his dignity is abuse!

Embarrassing or putting a man down in front of family, friends or co-workers is called abuse!

Abusers come from all walks of life... And holding the title Christian makes no difference, the un-educated and the highly educated are more alike then they think, because what goes on behind closed doors doesnt seem to matter to the abuser period.

The abuser listens to no one not even the inner voice that tells him or her that what he or she is doing is wrong. So if the abuser doesnt listen to God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit, what makes you think they will listen to you?

God commands us to love one another, right?

Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Leviticus 19:18

Then why do we continue fighting those that we love?

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Matthew 6:43-44

So many, many times when ask, Why do you continue this fighting? you will hear Its so much fun to make up. But, Is it? Or is this the way of accepting the abuse in a gracious way?

The abuser tells you how sorry they are once again for hurting you, yet in your heart you know nothing will ever change. Then why do we give the abuser a reward for their evil deed as they make more promises they will never keep?

Havent you learned by now, that hopping between the sheets with an abuser changes nothing?

Havent you heard by going out and re-buying those things destroyed during another battle will get broke again?

Havent you heard your worthy of respect, compassion and love?

For years Ive watched the abuser turn the abuse around, when someone comes for a visit such as a family member, friend, social worker or the police, they quickly become the victim receiving sympathy that does not belong to them. Just think, the abuser

has now gotten in one dirtier blow as the abused is blasted with anger from an outsider of the dos and donts of domestic violence.

The abuser now has an ego bigger then life itself, and that is a shame.

The abuser never sees them self as the abuser but the victim,

Many times the abuser laughs and tells others how she controls her man while she keeps him in line with a good cussing, brow beating, physical beating, or threats of losing his home, worldly possessions, children, grandchildren and even his respect, and like women many times men just toe the mark and try to make things work, and they too can make others believe they live the perfect life, when in fact, its a lie, and all they are doing is hurting themselves and those that they are trying to keep happy (usually children) and safe as they are not blind or deaf and know what is taking place because many times they too are caught up in the viciousness of this woman abuser.

While talking to Counselors and different authority figures about violence, abusive words and disgusting gestures towards and against men, they look at me as if Im crazy. But, Am I?