What does "Hannibal" call John Goodman? Dinner for two.
Why doesn't "Hannibal" eat Californians? Too many artificial ingredients.
Do you know how "Hannibal" got straight As in school? He buttered up the teacher.
What does "Hannibal" call a super model from Wisconsin? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call "Hannibal" on "Survivor" island? The winner.
What does "Hannibal" call the picture of the athlete on he Wheaties box? A serving suggestion.
What does "Hannibal" call dwarf tossing? A food fight.
What does "Hannibal" call tattoos? Food coloring.
What does 'Hannibal' call a hot tub? Crock pot.
What does 'Hannibal' call Kate Moss? Lean cuisine.
What is 'Hannibal' biggest regret? He never had a Dean Martin roast.
What does 'Hannibal' call Michael Jackson? The other white meat.
What is the hungriest Hannibal has ever been? When he stayed home all day waiting for the cable guy.
Why does Hannibal like women in a thong? He can eat and floss at the same time.
What does Hannibal call Jehovah Witnesses? Free Delivery.
What does Hannibal call the picture of the athlete on a wheaties box? A suggested serving.
What does Hannibal call M.C.Hammer between 2 pieces of bread? A poorboy sandwich
What is Hannibal's favorite part of the opera? The fat lady.
What does Hannibal call the women of temptation island? Whore derves.
What does Hannibal call a homeless man? Hungry man dinner.
What does Hannibal call a telephone book? The menu.
What does Hannibal call Hilary Clinton? Frozen dinner.
What does Hannibal call eating Abe Bagoda and Eric Estrada? Fish and Chips.
What does Hannibal call eating the body straight from the casket? Box lunch.
Why is Hannibal sorry he ate the attendant at the Texaco station? Gave him gas.
Why did Hannibal invite Hugh Rodham over for dinner? So he could chew the fat!
What does Hannibal call Al Gore? A square meal!
Why does Hannibal ride along with the fire department? Because he's too lazy to cook!
What does Hannibal call Tommy Lee? A foot long!
What does Hannibal say after eating Monica Lewinsky? That went down fast!
What does Hannibal call the singer Meatloaf? Meatloaf!
What does Hannibal call a trainload of New Yorkers? A subway sandwich!
Why did Hannibal complain when the waiter brought him Robin Williams? Too much hair in his food.
Why won't Hannibal eat Kathy Lee? He doesn't like artificial sweeteners!
Why doesn't Hannibal eat hookers? Because tricks are for kids!
What does Hannibal call Jennifer Lopez? A rump roast!
Why did Hannibal put cinnamon on Jennifer Lopez's chair? He wanted to eat cinnabuns for dessert.
Why would Hannibal eat Jennifer Lopez last? Because there's always room for Je Lo!
Do you know what Hannibal calls someone in a really good mood? A happy meal!
Do you know what Hannibal the cannibal calls people in the car pool lane? Meals on wheels!
What does Hannibal call people he doesn't like? Hard to swallow!
What does Hannibal call Mike Tyson? A wannabe!
What does Hannibal call the guy running the electric chair? CHEF!
What does Hannibal call a boyband? An extra value meal!
What does hannibal call Britney Spears and Christina Aguillera? Pop tarts!
What does Hannibal call Britney Spears? Dinner at hooters.
What does Hannibal call a circus tightrope walker? A well-Balanced meal.
What do you call Hannibal's stomach after he has eaten Tonya Harding? A white trash compactor.
What do you get when Hannibal eats the President of France and George W. Bush? A French dip!
What does Hannibal call Richard Simmons? A flaming dessert!
What does Hannibal call George Michael? Beef jerkey!
Do you know what Hannibal has for breakfast? Eggs and Kevin Bacon!
Do you know why Hannibal invited Ralph Nader over? He wanted to eat more greens!
Do you know what Hannibal does while watching XFL football? That's a trick question - no one watches XFL football.
What does Hannibal call it when somebody on survivor falls into a fire in Australia? Outback steakhouse.
What flavor pizza does Hannibal like? Delivery man.
Why didn't Hannibal eat Ricky Martin? Hates menudo!
Why didn't Hannibal eat Bob Hope? He doesn't like ham.
Why did Hannibal Lecter put his father in the freezer? He wanted to eat cold pop!
Why doesn't Hannibal date flight attendants? He hates airline food!
What is Hannibal's biggest complaint about the coroner's office? They don't deliver!
What does Hannibal call a group of people standing in water? Soup of the day!
What does Hannibal call eating a comatose human? A vegetarian dinner.