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What can I get you?
Coffee's a dollar
I hope you like whip cream.
I just love the Voice of the Night. We have this
special connection.
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Remembering
Al Holden
On September 19, 2003, Al had survived the
liver transplant and things were seemingly looking up. He and Marcie were
making plans for the future. He asked her to move in with him after the
got out of the hospital. Marcie agreed. Al asked her to check on his
mother for him. Just as Marcie was leaving he said, "I love you,
Marcie." Marcie smiled at him and said, " I love you, too, with
all my heart."
On September 22, 2003, while Marcie was gone,
Al arrested. The doctors were not able to revive him. And with that
cruel pen stroke, Michael Malone ended Al Holden's life. To this day, that
callous, baseless decision breaks my heart. Although I am sure that time
will eventually efface the sharp edges of that pain to some degree, I will never
forgive Malone for his wanton and unnecessary cruelty to so many fan. All Al's
death gave us was loss. There was no greater message, there was no deeper
story, there was no enrichment of the characters impacted by his death.
There was only loss.
Still the Marcals and the Marcal Lovers remember.
We remember Al and we always will. And we
celebrate his life as the wonderful tribute below that was started by Robin at
TCB on the first anniversary of Al's death attests ~~ Tessarae87 3/26/03
Rplate
9/21/04
Remembering
Al Holden...
September 22, 2003
was the day we lost our beloved Al Holden. What did you love about the
character? A favorite memory? A moment you LOVED Al, or a moment you wanted to
SMACK him? What did you love about Nathaniel's portrayal of Al?
On this anniversary of his death, let's bring the character back to life by
remembering him and Nathaniel's performances.
I will always LOVE the way NM leaned down to kiss Kathy and how he would lie his
head on her shoulder from behind. Yes, I LOVE the backpack hugs, Shelia!
I loved the day in the dorm room when he told her he loved her--the way he
screamed he wanted her, the way he held her, the CD he made, the way he told
her.
I loved the entire episode after he rescued her from the dumpster--every moment,
every word, every emotion.
So many moments, so much laughter, so much love.....
Vetyver1
9/21/04
Here's a few things I remember, love & miss:
I loved the way he was constantly touching Marcie.
The public, but ever-so-private glances he gave her.
The smiles and the whispers.
I love the way that Al would finish speaking and just lay a heavy,
I-Love-You-So-Much-That-I-Can-Hardly-Stand-It look on her. You know, the one
that made your knees weak.
I loved the one-liners that I would hear Al say on the show at 2:35 PM and would
still be thinking about at 2:35 AM because it was so freakin' swoonable and
wonderful that I couldn't push it out of my mind.
I loved the VOTN (oh, gosh, do I miss him!!!). The way he tied the show together
with his deep, murmuring voice and thoughtful, wise reflections. This is one of
the things I miss more than anything. I'd trade the doctor position for The VOTN
any day!!
I loved Al's sarcastic snarky one-liners. The ones that made me grin every time
I thought about it thereafter.
I loved Al's CLOTHES. I miss his layered look, his black jacket that was
slightly too small, his sweaters and his grungy pants. They were a part of his
character that I didn't realized I cherished until replaced with hospital gowns,
scrubs, lab coats and collared shirts.
I loved Al's FAMILY. The wonderful on screen chemistry that existed between Max,
Gabs & Al was, in my opinion, the most realistic and heartfelt portrayal on
OLTL. Their connection was another wonderful part of his character that I miss.
*Sigh*
Those are just a few things. I could go on forever.
Liz (Vet)
Mommyluvsmusic
9/21/04
The day I
fell in love with Al Holden:
I already liked
Nathaniel's portrayal of Al Holden, but I totally fell in love with him during
the intervention scenes. The moment when he brushed Marcie's hair out of her
face as he watched her sleep on the green rug was the moment I knew I was a
goner. I loved everything about Al Holden including his alter ego "The
Voice of the Night". Lets face it the man has one of the sexiest voices
around and gosh how I miss "the voice". I just hope and pray that the
writers will soon be giving Michael more depth so that we can see Al's soul
shining through. Whatever happens I'm along for the ride cause I love Nathaniel
and Kathy.
RIP Al Holden....we miss you dearly...
Melanie
nightengale0
9/21/04
I didn't start watching til after he died, but...
I have had the
opportunity to watch some tapes and I just love how much Al loved Marcie and how
he defended her to his Mom when he felt she was being harsh. How he would tell
her she was Gorgeous.
I just fell in love with the way he looked at her. Even when I started watching
and he was trying to get Marcie to see him inside Michael, my heart broke that
night she was caroling and Greg punched him and he was begging her to "see
me"
I hope the writers let Marcie at least acknowledge the anniversary of Al's
death.
Lee
GottaHaveMarcal
9/22/04
I loved Al's Passion...
and how every bit of
it was reflected in his face. I loved how he was passionate about Marcie, his
family, his work, and friends. I loved him way back when Jess (our Jess) found
out that Mitch Laurence was her father and was hiding in Asa's stable's. How he
was there and supported her. I loved how much fun he was with Marcie early on.
The snarkiness. The way he could curve his lips slightly into a smile as he
calmly dissed Jen when she was a witch. I LOVED Al Holden period. Loved the way
NM brought out all of the emotion in this character. Loved the Moxy and Marcal
interaction so much. Loved Al with Gabby. Loved Al with just about anyone, even
Rex. And I haven't even touched on Marcal yet, have I?
Intervention scenes
Backpack hugs
Sweet gentle storage room kiss.
Hot sound booth kiss.
Every time he looked at her.
Each time he touched her.
When he went off on Deke the geek at the police station.
Everything in the episode after Al saved Marcie.
Aw heck, I would be here all day if I had to list everything I loved about Al
Holden and what I miss. Thank goodness we do have NM and fingers crossed that
eventually, we will get just some of the things listed above with Michael. And
hey, Al's soul is inside of Michael's body so for me there is always a hidden
hope...lol.
Hugs,
GHM
jojo1785
9/22/04
For me too!
Quote:
And hey, Al's soul
is inside of Michael's body so for me there is always a hidden hope...lol.
LOL. For me too!
Oh, gosh... everything I loved about Al, huh? That might take a few days if I
listed everything. LOL. So the short and sweet version:
Plain and simple, I loved AL. I loved everything about him. I loved his
interactions with Gabby, Max, Roxy, Natalie (hell, even Jen). I loved the early
Marcal days of him bringing Marcie Gerber daisies at the LPD. I loved the
backpack hugs he gave her and how he could never keep his hands to himself when
they were in the same room. I loved the days of pure, uncomplicated (for the
most part) Marcal magic (made all the more magical because Al was so freaking
sweet).
Remember the episode where Jen got married? Even though that was a rather sad
moment in Marcal history, it was, nevertheless, touchingly sweet. Marcie was
distraught and Al was there for her… with his unconditional love and emotional
support. The hugs, the kisses, the looks, they were perfect. I loved THAT
about Al. I loved that he was supportive and understanding and willing to do
whatever she needed him to.
Oh, yes, and on a much more nonsensical note... I loved Al's clothes. LOL. I
totally dug his layered look and his casual attire.
I
just loved everything about AL
SophieSoaps
9/22/04
Okay, feeling a little old here, but...
I've held a soft
spot in my heart for Al Holden since the day he was born. I remember Gabrielle
holding him and talking to him and telling him about his father. I remember how
heartbreaking it was watching her turn him over to Tina, thinking that Tina and
Max were married, believing that her son would have a better life in a home with
two loving parents.
I know this sounds silly, but I always hated the name Al, and was happy when
they discovered that Milagro was really Cord and Tina's child and Al was Max and
Gabrielle's. Since Al had been named after the man who raised Cord, the man he
believed was his father, I thought for sure that they would call Milagro Al,
since it rightfully should have been his name, and give Al a name of his own.
But no... they called Milagro Clinton James (CJ) and Max and Gabrielle came up
with some lame-o excuses ("I had an uncle named Alonzo...") why they
couldn't be bothered to give Al his own name. That's when he earned a permanent
place in my heart, because it pretty much laid out from the get-go what his life
would be.
Little Al was constantly a football, tossed back and forth at the whims of his
parents. I always loved Max and Gabrielle (even when I hated Max and
Gabrielle!), but it never stopped bothering me that they would use Al as a pawn
at times. They both loved him, there was no denying that, but they could never
seem to place him first.
You may also know that I loved Luna. She tried so hard to be a mother to Al when
Gabrielle was in prison. He was so troubled and she reached out to him and
honestly loved him as if he were her own. I felt for Al during that time, even
though he was annoying a great deal of the time.
Nathaniel Marston was, in my oh so humble opinion, the best of all the Al
Holden's. He got Al on a level that none of the other actors had. Al's
obsessiveness and his anger really stemmed from pain, and NM had an uncanny
knack for allowing that pain to show under the surface. It kept Al from being a
one-dimensional a-hole. I would get frustrated at Al's behavior, but I always
understood it.
For me, the moment when Al turned from a raging bull, controlled by his demons,
back into sweet but troubled Al, the one I could root for, was when he decided
to keep quiet about being the father of Jen's baby. He stood there and said
"This child deserves everything in life. Better he shouldn't know me and be
born, than I get acknowledgement and Jen terminates the pregnancy." That
reminded me so much of Gabrielle's sacrifice in the cabin in Argentina all those
years ago.
What do I miss about Al Holden? I miss his family and his history and his
connections in Llanview. I miss the friends he had, the way somebody always knew
him everywhere he went.
annebronterocks
9/22/04
My Moment
for falling was when I saw the montage.
My soap viewing had
been spotty all summer, although I definitely appreciated Al and Marcie over all
the other storylines. After the montage, I became obsessed, which was how I
found this site.
Amazing how raw we all still are over losing Al. At least 1/3 of the fanfics, if
not more, are about fixing his death, reversing it, trying to deal with it. And
it keeps coming. Has everyone checked out "Sliding Floors" in the
Break Bar?
Ladyday
9/22/04
What did I love about Al?
Well, we can start
with the simple physical stuff and go from there. The hair, the clothes, the
handsome face (which he shares with Michael, lol). As everyone else has
mentioned, the Voice of the Night...God did I love that part of him/the show
back then. I loved how they used the VOTN to tie together different pieces of
the show. And I loved how Marcie and the VOTN had that
"special connection" before they ever met. Last physical
attribute....the smile. Lordy that smile! See my keepership? I loved the way he
used to smile at Marcie. That, more than anything else, used to make me melt
into a puddle of "Awwwwwwww!"
It's the simple things. The flying-under-the-radar things that I loved the most.
I loved it when he gently swept her hair off of her face while she slept on the
floor of her dorm room at the end of the intervention scenes. I was already long
gone on the couple by then, but that simple gesture did me in. It was a
fall-off-the-couch moment for me.
I loved it when he reached over and covered her tiny hand with his huge hand in
the storeroom after they shared their first sweet kiss. OMG when he did that I
swooned more than I did for the kiss!
The "ILY" scenes, when he so subtly portrayed how badly he wanted
Marcie....."that way". The way he always worried about her feelings,
etc. But that whole episode was great from front to back.
Of course the day he brought her home from the hospital....every word, every
touch, every look, every kiss, every single second of every minute of that
episode was kick-ass.
I flat out loved the way Al Holden made me swoon
Swooning goes beyond the physical. Al and Michael share the same good looks, but
Michael hasn't been fleshed out at all yet for me to swoon over him. Al
on the other hand, made me swoon with just about his every move.
And lastly, I want to say that one of the BIGGEST things that I miss about Al
Holden is his FAMILY.
I loved the scenes he shared with Max, and the ones he had with Gabby, for
different reasons. I loved the way they portrayed the different relationships he
had with each of his parents. Before the character of Luna was ruined for me by
association with that horrid HCW debacle, I loved how connected Al felt to his
step mother...loved it when he watched those tapes of Luna..."You've got to
trust Al to follow his heart, he's got a good heart...". I also loved back
when Erin was playing Jessica, when they had scenes together. Al was a good
friend. A good kid. I loved Al Holden before Marcie came into his life too. And
I really miss that part as well.
Thanks for this post, Robin.
NancyGe
9/22/04
I've loved reading all your remembrances and ...
And Sophie as long
as I'm on the board, you'll never be the old lady around here.
I've loved reading all your remembrances and thanks to Robin for starting this
thread.
I don't have a lot to add to the wonderful sentiments expressed here except that
soaps should be about telling a story...and the successful ones get to tell a
long story. Al was an important part of that story.
I look back at all the pivotal storylines Al was in starting with his birth in
the 80's. In the 90's he was not only involved in the "trapped"
storyline with CJ when the whole town turned out to save the boys but in
storylines with Max, Luna and Gabrielle.
And I loved Nathaniel's portrayal of Al. They say that being a recast is the
toughest role for a soap actor to take but he really made the role his own.
Sometimes the Marcal storylines were clinkers too but the couple writing was
always the best on the show. I remember reading NM saying this himself that
there had never been a response to a couple on a show that Marcie and Al
generated. They had lightening in a bottle with those two and wasted it.
And even though TCB celebrates all things Marcal including Al's soul now being
in Michael, he's always going to be alive for a lot of us.
marcalgal
9/22/04
I’m with GHM
Quote:
Aw heck, I would
be here all day if I had to list everything I loved about Al Holden and what I
miss.
I’ve been missing Al even more lately because I’ve been anticipating this
anniversary
and because I’ve seen
so little of NM/Michael to help me not think about missing Al.
I love the way Al cared for Marcie, stood up for her, and wanted her to always
feel beautiful, loved, and happy.
I loved the Hollywood kisses, like the one at Foxy Roxy’s and on New Year’s
Eve.
I loved that he cared for his mother, wanting her to be happy with Bo; not
wanting her to risk her life for his; trying to help her get over her grief.
Nathaniel and Fiona presented an awesome mother-son relationship!
I loved the way Al made amends with his father after all they’d been through.
I loved Al’s snarky, sarcastic remarks to Jen, Rex, Brad, and early Marcie.
I loved his hair, biceps, eyes, eyelashes, and smile. (had to include one
shallow comment!)
*****
I know that Al told Marcie that it’s better to forget and be happy than to
remember and be sad, but honestly, I can’t forget what a wonderful treat we
shared in getting to know the character of Al Holden. I will cherish those
memories (and the slideshows and videos!) and hope that we get to see MORE of
Al’s spirit in Michael McBain as HIS character is fleshed out (but gee, that
means they’d have to show the McBain brothers instead of the Santi brothers!
Oh well, that’s a topic for another post!)
Thanks for this post, Robin. I love remembering the good times on OLTL and our
boy, Al Holden, was a wonderful highlight!
Carolyn
SophieSoaps
9/22/04
Quote:
I know that Al
told Marcie that it’s better to forget and be happy than to remember and be
sad, but honestly, I can’t forget what a wonderful treat we shared in getting
to know the character of Al Holden.
Carolyn--
This is one thing that really bothered me (among many others) about Valentine's
Day. Malone twisted that poem to suit his meaning. The poem does NOT say it's
better to forget completely and be happy than to remember and be sad. It says
it's better to forget FOR A WHILE, until remembering is not so painful. It says
if your anger and grief are going to devour your memories of me, go ahead, put
those memories aside until you can recall them peacefully. And since so many of
us are now at the point where our memories of Al are wistful and bittersweet,
rather than painful, let's read that poem once again with it's full intent:
Remember
by Christina Georgina Rossetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Sophie
SycamoreGirl22
9/22/04
How do I
love thee, let me count the ways...
Wow this is a great
thread. I came late to the Al love, but my first strong impression was one on a
purely physical basis. Al/Michael and John were talking at Rodi's, and at that
moment, I was a smitten kitten.
But as I watched him go through so much crap just to be with the woman that he
loved, I was impressed with his fortitude and by NYE, I was one hundred percent
in love with Al. Nathaniel had me from hello with his shear yumminess, but his
ability to act kept me coming back.
A is for the adoration that he had for his mother and
his soul mate. It shined through in every scene and it
made us all so happy.
L is for the loneliness that he felt until Marcie barged
her way into his life and showed him how real love should
be. And introduced the world to a perfect pairing, one
like no other in daytime.
H is for the hope that we carry with us that your soul
will emerge as Michael is fleshed out and make us swoon
for you again. That hope brings us back again and again,
no matter how much we hate the storylines.
O is for oasis, the lovely little island that your love for
Marcie created. It brought together people from many
different areas and walks of life, and will continue to
grown and sustain those visitors.
L is for the love, cause it is all about the love and you
did a wonderful job showing that to us day after day.
Love is all there is.
D is for death. It may have separated you from your
earthly body, but it could do nothing to lessen the love
that you felt. So you moved heaven and came back to
reclaim what was yours.
E is for every facial expression, because they say so
much more than the words from your mouth. Whether it
was a crinkle smile or a longing gaze, we all felt it to our
very core
N is for never. Never will we forget what a wonderful
man you were and the rich history that you had with the
show. Tho we will mourn your passing, we rejoice that
your soul lives on in another, and your memory can never
be erased from those that truly loved you.
So I raise a glass to Al Holden, may he always live on in our hearts and
memories.
What can I say but this man inspires me like no one ever has before.
TheatreGoer
9/22/04
Loved him
from Day one
I adored Al, even
before I ever even heard of Nathaniel Marston.
He was the son of my favorite scoundrel, Max Holden. Though I loathed Gabrielle
with the heat of ten thousand suns, I was so excited that Max was going to have
a child on the show we could watch grow up. When Al was born, I was sure we were
watching the birth of Jessica Buchanan's future soul mate.
I was astonished when Gabby handed him over to a virtual stranger without even
naming him. (Soph- I thought I was the only one ever bothered by the naming
issue) What a classic soap moment when Tina broke up Kate & Cord's wedding
by walking into the church holding him. How bad I felt for him, being used by
her to try to hold onto Cord by pretending he was hers & Cord's and then
being caught in the dysfunctional Gabby Max relationship.
I especially adored Al's relationship with Luna when Gabby was in prison. And it
was amazing how much chemistry Susan Batten had with NM during the HCW ish. It
was like they had worked together for years.
Al's childhood antics with CJ- How I wish we had gotten a chance to see the
buddies re-connect as adults.
Al, the big brother, supportive son- how he was Max's rock when the twins were
kidnapped even though he was a mere boy himself.
Al, the young son who KNEW his mother needed him when she got out of prison
& told his father would go live with her.
About the only time I couldn't stand the character of AL was when he first came
back to town with Gabby in early 2001. The actor playing him had no ability to
play subtext or depth. When they re-cast in December of that year, the love came
pouring back, even if they kept Al in Jen Hell for what felt like an eternity.
NM was capable of playing everything that AL was- a complicated, angry, hurt
young man with some major abandonment issues who had a huge heart often without
ever saying a single word. What I hated about Al then was that he did not
realize his worth as a person- that he deserved to be loved by someone who truly
wanted & loved him.
What I loved the most about him was his ability to forgive people, most
especially his parents- they had mistreated him for so long- Max for abandoning
him - financially & emotionally when he went to live with Gabby &
Gabrielle herself for how she used him as a pawn in her & Asa's scheme to
get revenge on Max when she came back to Llanview. Everyone who mattered to him
back then was screwing him over- even death faking Asa who adopted him as part
of that scheme. It was no wonder he resorted to manipulation to get Jen to stay
with him when he was temporarily paralyzed- it was what he knew.
What I loved about Al with Marcie was watching him heal his brokenness &
finally receiving that unconditional love that he so deserved.
Jezzebelle22
9/22/04
Sigh
This is a great
post, thank you to Robin for starting it and to all of you who shared your
memories.
Simply put, I loved Al. I loved the way he was with Marcie. I loved the way he
interacted with Max and Gabby. I loved how he could be sweet and tender one
minute with Marcie and totally fierce the next. I loved his hair, his eyes, that
SMILE, his body, just everything.
OLTL had a very special character with Al and it's difficult for me sometimes
(OK, a lot of the time), to come to terms with what happened. He was a huge
reason why all of us here at the Booth fell so hard for Marcal and I know I'll
never forget him.
-Jess
Whlwtcher
9/22/04
Quote:
I especially
adored Al's relationship with Luna when Gabby was in prison. And it was amazing
how much chemistry Susan Batten had with NM during the HCW ish. It was like they
had worked together for years.
Oh I know!! That's one of the things that made me so hot to have SB come back
for the HCW storyline (lord knows it wasn't for the actual storyline itself
)
Luna was always my favorite and I had such great memories of her with Al. I
always loved the way the characters interacted and I just knew that SB and NM
would have amazing chemistry once they were on the screen together.
Thanks for the post Robin. It’s always nice to remember the great things.
SophieSoaps
9/22/04
Quote:
Oh I know!! That's
one of the things that made me so hot to have SB come back for the HCW storyline
(lord knows it wasn't for the actual storyline itself )
Count me in. I distinctly remember one point during HCW when Al and Luna had a
scene together and it suddenly hit me: this wasn't that Al! And I sat
there and watched the rest of the scene in absolute awe at these two incredibly
talented actors, both of whom had made me forget that Nathaniel wasn't Al when
Al lived with Luna!
marcalmelter
9/22/04
Wow ladies, I think
you all basically said everything that was in my heart. I loved Al Holden, and I
don't think I'll ever shed enough tears for him. I just loved his heart. He
always wanted and needed to love and be loved in return. I loved his sensitive
side. He wasn't afraid to show the ones that he loved how much he loved them. He
was worthy of the love that was returned to him. I'll never forget him.
ilovemnm
9/24/04
I actually fell in
love with Marcie and Al the day that Marcie saw Michael kissing Jen and then Al
appeared to her and they danced. I've probably mentioned that before but the
next time I see Nathaniel (notice I said "the next time" and not
"if I see Nathaniel again"), I'm gonna tell him that it was that scene
that made me fall in love with him! Ooops, not HIM (LOL my husband would kill me
if he read that! ), but Al and
Marcie.
But my favorite Al and Marcie scenes... the ones I watch over and over are....
When Al comforts Marcie after the dumpster incident. I think it's funny in a
way, at the end when he's laying on the bed beside her and is trying to kiss her
cheek and she keeps moving her head so he's having a hard time. It's so cute,
but I think it wasn't supposed to happen that way...
When Marcie tells Al she's afraid of what he will think of her body if they make
love. Oh, I LOVE that scene! This is the scene that Kathy picked for the judges
at the Emmys when she was nominated (and damn it, she should have WON! ). I had seen this
before, but when I read that this is the one she picked, I started watching it
more closely. I just LOVE this whole thing, where the VOTN goes on the radio and
tells her how beautiful she is-inside and out (Sigh...) and then he makes her
that CD and tells her he loves her. I love her reaction to his telling her that.
I love her taking care of him during the detox scenes like when he's crying and
says "I can't" and she holds him and then she's sitting on the bed
with him trying to keep him warm (damn that Jen for walking in and accusing her
of sleeping with him!!!). I love the way he smiles when her back is turned to
him and she is so worried that she has hurt Jen's feelings.
Oh and another favorite... I could go on for months here... is when she is at
Jen and Joey's wedding and Al says "Let's go to the Palace for the
party" and she tells him she wants to go to the garage. I just swoon when
she starts crying and he brushes her tears away with his thumbs and says
"Marcie, you know I love you" and then kisses her wet cheek. (Sigh...)
I seriously have to stop this before I make myself crazy... heck, I'm already
crazy but this could get serious!!!
I love Michael (hey, he's played by Nathaniel, so I can't help but love him),
but like Marcie I'll always have a special place in my heart for Al!
irishstar4u31
9/24/04
My favorite Al
Holden scene was when he came back to dance with Marcie one last time he made me
cry so much in that scene. Al and Marcie had a great relationship and they
shared something beautiful. its just too bad that he couldn't remember the
memories him and Marcie shared together after that dance. I know he is Michael
now but in my heart he always will be Al Holden the man that touched Marcie’s
heart and soul.
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