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What can I get you?
Coffee's a dollar
I hope you like whip cream.
I just love the Voice of the Night. We have this
special connection.
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PAGE 4
Nancy Ge's Llanview
Minute-to-Minute CASE
FILE No. 10 October 5, 2004
Llanview
Daylight Time:
2:00 Jessica finds Tico strung up in a meat locker. Tico is yelling, “Even a
freezer cannot contain the heat that is Augustico Santi!” Jessica first
liberates five slabs of beef which look more appealing than Tico before cutting
him loose from the meat hook.
2:03 Opening sequence-Only the characters in the Santi storyline appear in their
order of importance to the Santis.
2:04 “Hessica, the life of Augustico Santi would have been cut short if not
for you!” says Tico.
“Did the Santi mobsters do this to you?” asks Jessica.
“No, dear Tia Carlowta after I told her I was muy caliente, she said she knew
just the thing to cool me off. As eeeeff! Hessica, weeelll you be the wife of
Augustico Santi?”
“Huh?”
2:08 Station Break
2:10 “We have so mooch in common, We are both so cultured and intelligente.
You have had de seex with the other brother of Mantonio. A reeefined wooman like
you should not be weeth the brute that is Mantonio.”
“Let me think aboot it,” says Jessica as she helps Tico out of the meat
locker.
2:13 Jessica is seen in the loft with Antonio. “Give me a reason not to marry
your brother,” Jessica says to Antonio. He tells her Cris is dead and besides
was already married.
“No, your brother Augustico Santi!”
2:17 Station Break
2:19 Antonio responds with considerable chest heaving and asthmatic gasps. Smoke
comes out of his ears and he snorts loudly. “You have been with El Leon-Tico
is not even El Gato. And I am so hot when I strip!”
Not being the answer Jessica is looking for, Jessica leaves.
2:22 Jessica is seen with RJ. “Give me a reason not to marry Augustico Santi!”
RJ tells her to STFU. He hopes she does marry Tico, Jamie loses brain cells
every time she’s in the presence of Jessica.
2:26 Station Break featuring twirling Santis.
2:31 Jessica visits Viki and says, “Give me a reason not to marry Augustico
Santi!” Viki says as long as he doesn’t drop a towel in her hallway and
expose himself, she doesn’t care.
2:34 Jessica is seen entering the Love Shack interrupting a heated discussion
among some of the Walshes and Michael over Eric’s impending marriage. “Give
me a reason not to marry Augustico Santi!” Jessica says. Tico bursts into the
room yelling “I must have you. You must be the bride of Augustico Santi!”
2:37 Station Break
2:40 Mr. Walsh is horrified-cannot tell if Tico wants Marcie or Eric as his
bride. Tico continues his tirade: “I make de looove like no other. You must
see my throbbing….”
“Eek,” shrieks Jessica and runs out of the Love Shack.
2:44 Marcie and Eric grab Tico and throw him out of the Love Shack. Daddy Walsh
has a light bulb moment: Neither Eric nor Marcie want to marry Augustico Santi!
He grants blanket approval for all his offspring to marry anyone they want as
long as it’s not Augustico Santi.
2:46 Station Break
2:49 Jessica recalls Antonio’s words about “El Gato.” Decides to consult
the Java cat. “Give me a reason not to marry Augustico Santi!” she yells at
the cat. The cat sputters and spits up a hairball. The hairball looks vaguely
like Tico. “It is a sign!” says Jessica and takes off to accept Augustico. A
new power couple-JESTICO-is born.
2:56 Scenes for Tomorrow: Tico is seen trying to look smoldering with desire;
Antonio interrupts the nuptials by dancing a nude Macarena; Papa Walsh and James
and Eric are seen looking at china patterns at a bridal fair.
CASE FILE No. 11
2005 Thanks
to Katjam (who probably doesn't want the acknowledgement) for the idea for this
set of minutes when she suggested it would be a good story if Marcie made an
appointment for liposuction and Michael cancelled it for her. I
thought....hmmm...what if he scheduled one for Hayes?
Llanview
Standard Time:
2:00 Hayes struts through the corridors of Llanview’s Hospital. He is holding
a letter from Chief of Staff Dorian Lord. When he arrives, he is surprised to
see Michael right behind the door and to find it suddenly closed and
locked….”Hehe!” says Michael.
2:03 Opening credits with examples of Hayes’ makeovers. Most of the women look
gaunt. He has John dressed in a pink shirt cut to the navel with a medallion and
Michael in a purple sweater. Hayes looks the same in both before and after
shots.
2:04 In another part of the hospital, Jessica is seen consulting Dr. Jamison. He
asks her the last time she had sex. Jess gets indignant with him and yells, “I
don’t sleep around,” causing Tess to emerge who says “Hehe.” She starts
telling him about the sailor, and the Aussie, and the business man.
2:07 “Eek, What are you doing here?” shrieks Hayes. He tells Michael he has
a letter from Chief of Staff Dr. Dorian Lord and brandishes the letter. “She
obviously wants my input!” Hayes says. Michael tells him Dr. Lord no longer
works for the hospital but there is the matter of him leaving the hospital
against medical advise.
2:09 Commercial Break
2:12 Tess is continuing to unveil her sexual escapades to Dr. Jamison. He tells
her she seemed so uptight when she came in and now…suddenly even more
personalities emerge:
Confess who cops to the KC murders;
Tress who flings her hair around;
Tigress who acts like the Java cat
and spits up a hairball;
Undress who precedes to do just that;
2:15 Michael tells Hayes he has arranged a makeover for him. His first visitor
is Bob the Enzyte dude. Bob tells Hayes he isn’t perky enough. Suddenly
Undress bursts into the room. She has a noticeable effect on Bob but none on
Hayes.
2:18 Commercial Break
2:21 Dr. Jamison is hot on the trail of Undress; throws a blanket over her and
escorts her back to his office.
2:24 Hayes tells Michael to stop it…he’ll confess. He never really had a car
accident, he only came to the hospital hoping to trick Michael into letting him
read Marcie’s manuscript.
2:27 Commercial Break: Bob the Enzyte guy is twirling Undress’s hair.
2:32 Back in Dr. Jamison’s office a new personality is emerging: Clueless. Dr.
Jamison’s can’t tell the difference between her and Jess so thinks he’s
had a breakthrough. Asks her the last time she’s seen a hot guy with his
clothes off. Clueless remembers seeing Banditonio stripping. Suddenly, she snaps
back into Jessica although to the casual observer and trainer professional there
is no difference. “Dr. I’m cured! I’m cured!”
In the background is heard:
Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you up, baby
And Honey, I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
Oh, you got me squealing
Oooh, I can tell you, darling
That it's Huffy healing.
2:37 Michael introduces Hayes to a proctologist. Hayes hides under Dorian’s
previous desk and whimpers.
2:39 Commercial Break
2:41 Jessica is seen on a phone in the lobby calling Antonio. She has a
stupid…err blissful look on her face.
2:43 Michael brings in a plastic surgeon to see Hayes. He tells the surgeon that
Hayes needs liposuction to remove the fat in his head. Michael leaves and
overhears Jessica’s conversation with Huffy. This gives him an idea. He
reaches for his cell and makes a call.
2:48 Commercial Break
2:51 Jess is seen with Huffy in bed… “You make me whole, again,” she tells
him. The Java cat spits up a hairball. In the background is heard:
Baby, I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby, I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And now my clothes I’m peeling
I want Huffy healing
2:53 Dyle and Day, the Banditonio obsessed conjoined twins, arrive at the
hospital. Michael says, “I thought you might want to meet Banditonio’s
agent, Hayes Barber.”
2:57 Stay Tuned: Dr. Jamison is seen escorting Huffy to a wing at St. Anne’s
with “Huffy Healing” playing in the background; Hayes is frantically trying
to reach him on his cell phone while Dyle and Day watch, more denizens of
Llanview weigh in on whether John belongs with Natalie or Evangeline.
CASE
FILE No. 12 June 4, 2005
Llanview
DST:
2:00 Chaos prevails at Daniel’s swearing in as Lt. Governor ceremony . Bo
announces that Daniel has killed Jen Rappaport and wants to question him in
private.
2:02 Nora begins shrieking that none of this can possibly be
done in private because the whole town and state needs to know why her husband
is being railroaded. She demands that every piece of evidence be unveiled to her
in public or she will continue yelling for another hour.
2:05 Opening Credits
2:06 Mark is pacing and yelling “The only killing he’s involved with is
killer sex!” and “I did not have sex with Viki Davidson!” Marcie tells him
to STFU.
2:07 Bo tells Nora that Daniel killed Jen because she caught him covering up
Paul Cramer’s murder. Mark yells that Paul Cramer was not gay. Riley slugs
Mark.
2:09 Commercial Break
2:12 New character Spencer Truman is introduced. Three day players are hired for
the sole purpose of swooning over him and letting us know that women find him
irresistible.
2:14 Meanwhile, Jess, not Tess, finds Huffy irresistible and throws him on the
bed. Huffy Healing music plays in the background.
2:17 Having done her bit for Huffy’s anger issues, Tess exits.
2:20 Back at the swearing in ceremony, Nora is demanding a public explanation of
why Daniel would kill Paul. Bo says Daniel was being blackmailed and suggests
they take the discussion inside. Nora says no….every last detail must be
unveiled in public because professional women who are married to politicians
like herself really enjoy being public spectacles.
2: 22 Commercial Break
2:25 Dr. Truman is seen strutting through the hallways of Llanview Memorial
Hospital. He gets overheated from this vigorous exercise and takes his shirt
off. Four nurses faint at his hotness, a fifth says “Please!!! Have you seen
Dr. McBain without a shirt?”
2:26 Nurses revive quickly…want details of shirtless Dr. McBain.
2:27 Nora is still yelling asks for a motive for blackmail. Mark has jumped on
the barricade and is screaming support for Daniel. Michael tells him to STFU.
2:29 Tess has arrived on the scene and is smirking.
2:32 Commercial Break featuring Spencer Truman and swooning women.
2:36 Rex knocks Mark off the barricade and yells, “His motive is he’s gay,
Nora and he doesn’t want anyone else to know about it.”
2:37 Nora says Daniel couldn’t possibly be gay, she would know it if he were.
2:38 Bo says he has proof. Nora pushes him to reveal it publicly. Governor
Brooks is seen trying to sneak off the scene.
2:40 Bo brings 10 men from the gay bar in New York up on the platform. They all
agree….yep! yep! He’s gay.
2:43 Commercial Break
2:46 Nora says that doesn’t prove anything. Tess morphs into Les, another
alter who’s male. “Definitely gay,” shouts Les.
2:47 Nora says this is all strange because Daniel was definitely straight a
short while ago. Mark rushes to the stage “He was able to come out because of
me!”
2:49 Marcie whispers to Mark to quit making a public nuisance of himself and
that in case he hadn't noticed, Daniel has not come out. Mark yells, “Why
should Nora get to have a public meltdown and not me? I’m young and stupid. I
only graduated from college because I took part in that stupid Love Shack
project. What’s her excuse?”
2:51 Nora is looking at Daniel speechless for the first time. Mark yells again,
“And besides Daniel likes me better.” Nora tells Daniel she just can’t
believe he’s gay.
2:53 Dr. Truman appears in the crowd shirtless. Daniel faints. “Proof enough
for me” Nora says to Bo. “Take him away.”
Commercial Break
2:57 Stay Tuned. Five segments of Spencer Truman are shown.
MINUTES
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