Topic: Humor
(Rumsfeld Speaking on Raising of Alert System)
In a rare public appearance, the Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld announced that the Department of Homeland Security’s Terror of God Alert system was upgraded from Yellow to Orange at 8:00 AM this morning for Texas and Louisiana. Rumsfeld cited the imminently fatal arrival of Hurricane Rita warranted the raising of the Terror of God Alert system. “It has become quite clear that after the damage of Hurricane Katrina, we are witnessing another fatal storm. This act of god, or Intelligently Designed Disaster, has clearly indicated that God wants to kill Americans and he wants to kill Americans now. So we’ve increased the Terror Alert system to Orange.”
(US Terror of God Alert System)
When asked whether these storms were a sign of a coming Apocalypse (Terror of God Level Red), Rumsfeld shrugged the suggestion aside. “As far as we can tell, God’s wrath is only being concentrated on southern Republican voting states. There appears to be little in the way of an increase of wrathful acts in the Northern parts of the country.” Rumsfeld cited Hurricane Ophelia as evidence that God had mercy for the north by keeping it from even brushing Massachusetts.
Richard thought this
at 12:02 PM EDT
