Words by Reese Roper/S. Sondheim
Music by Scott Kerr/Leonard Berstein

The man on the television said I need to drink this
And sleep with that in order to be cool
And you know that I would do almost anything
To be like that guy on T.V.
I know that if I had just the right outfit and hairstyle
That could be me

Don't you know you can't be cool if you dress dumb
I need to have that 'cause everybody's got one
I think I'll start smoking, that would make me intellectual
That's what I've always wanted to be
I need to lift weights that would make me more sexual
And that would be good for me

In America, it's wonderful
All you have to do is fake it
Own anything you want
All you have to do is take it
Live for today, don't think about tomorrow
Have a good time in America-Gomorrah

What are you looking at?
You better not make me mad
I'll drive by your house and shoot your dog and mom and dad
I don't need you or the Bible or anyone
To tell me what is the law
With a good enough lawyer, I can do anything in beautiful America

In America, it's wonderful
All you have to do is fake it
Own anything you want
All you have to do is take it
Live for today, don't think about tomorrow
Have a good time in America-Gomorrah

BRIDGE
I want to be in America
Okay for me in America
Everything's free in America
For a small fee in America
I want to be in America
Okay for me in America
Everything's free in America
For a small fee in America