Bert's Nap

skit starring Bert (Frank Oz) and Ernie (Jim Henson)

Bert: *yawn* Oh boy ... It's time for a nap ... am I tired *yawn*

(Bert gets all comfortable in bed and begins to snore.)

Ernie: Bert! Oh Bert! Ol' buddy Bert? Hey, Bert ... Where are ya, Bert?

(sees Bert in bed)

Oh! Mmmm ... You know it is just possible that my old buddy Bert is asleep.
For one thing, he's lying down, which he usually does when he is asleep.
For another thing his eyes are closed ... yeah.
And for another thing, he's not answering me when I talk.
So old buddy Bert is probably asleep, but I will check just to make sure.

(pokes Bert)

Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke!
Note how I can poke old buddy Bert is the stomach and he doesn't complain.
Now when old buddy Bert is awake and I poke him in the stomach, he complains.

(sees Bert's arm)

Oh looky here. Note how floppy and soggy-like old buddy Bert's arm is.
When old buddy Bert is awake, he's not floppy and soggy like.
So, I am quite certain that old buddy Bert is very definitely asleep.
And ....

(Bert rolls over with eyes open)

On the other hand ... Now his eyes are open!
My old buddy Bert's eyes are usually open only when he is awake,
so he's probably awake, but I will check just to make sure.
Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke!

Bert: Now cut that out!

Ernie: See, I was right, he's awake!

Bert: Ernie!

Ernie: Yeah?

Bert: Why did you wake me up?

Ernie: Did I wake you up, old buddy?

Bert: Yes you did!

Ernie: See, I was right, first he was asleep and now he is awake.

Bert: Ernie, why'd you wake me up?

Ernie: Uh ... Oh! .. Uh ... because I have something very important to tell you.

Bert: What's that?

Ernie: Well, you see I just looked at the clock.

Bert: So?

Ernie: It's time for your nap.

Bert: Ahhhhh!

Ernie: Well, sleep tight. Mmmm..Mmmmmm

Transcribed by Don Murphy


Originally released on the album

Bert's Blockbusters

Bert's Blockbusters (1974)

and on the album

At Home With Ernie and Bert

At Home With Ernie and Bert (1979)

and on the cassette

Bert & Ernie: Side By Side

Bert & Ernie: Side By Side (1981)
Golden Music