A Cookie Is A Sometime Food
sung by Hoots the Owl (Kevin Clash) with Cookie Monster (Frank Oz)
A parody of the song "A Woman Is A Sometime Thing" from Porgy & Bess
(Cookie Monster walks on the set humming and sees a table loaded with fruit)
CM: Dum dum de dum, dum de dum ...
(stops short in front of table)
Hey, what that? That look like bunch of fruit, yeah.
(he walks to the end of the table and finds a massive cookie, he picks it up)
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh yeah, cookie! Me so hungry! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! What should me eat? Fruit or cookie? Fruit or cookie? Fruit ... cookie ... fruit ... cookie ... Oh, this tough decision. Wait, what me saying? Me Cookie Monster. This no-brainer, me eat cookie!
(Just before he can shove it into his mouth, Hoots arrives on the scene.)
Hoots: Hey, Cookie Monster! My main monster, what's up?
CM: Me about to eat delicious cookie!
Hoots: Whoa, what about all that, all those other good stuff over there? Yeah, ya see there's grapes, and there's apples, and bananas. Huh, huh?
CM: Me know, so?
(sung with spoken comments by CM)
Hoots: Well, won't you listen to what Hootsie tells you
CM: Okay.
Hoots: And don't you cop an attitude
CM: Me try not to.
Hoots: A cookie can be scrumptious
CM: Oh yeah!
Hoots: Crunchy, sweet or yumptious
CM: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Hoots: Buuuuut, a cookie is a sometime food
(pulls CM's hand away as he tries to eat the cookie)
Yes, a cookie is a sometime food
(an apple pops up in front of them to sing her line and then disappears)
Apple: Ooooh, a cookie is a sometime food
Hoots: There are plenty other fruits and vegetables
That are healthy for you all the time
They're delicious, they are yummy
Try an apple, peach, or plummy
'Caaaaaause, a cookie is a sometime food
Yes, a cookie is a sometime food
(a banana now pops up)
Banana: Oh, a cookie is a sometime food
Hoots: If you're looking for something to snack on
For something sweet you're in the mood
Try an orange or some cherries
Try a melon or some berries
'Caaaaause ...
CM: You okay?
Hoots: ... a cookie is a sometime food
Yes, a cookie is a sometime food
(Hoots takes the cookie from CM as he tries to eat his empty hand and then realizes what he's done. CM now drums his fingers against his head in impatience. The apple and banana return to the scene.)
Hoots and Apple: But an apple is an anytime food
CM: Apple! (grabs an apple from the table and eats it)
Hoots and Banana: Yes a banana is an anytime food
CM: Banana! (swipes a banana from the table and eats it)
Hoots: Yes a fruit is an anytime food
(CM is now devouring all the fruit at an alarming rate)
Yum!
(Hoots is now joined by the apple, the banana, a pineapple, and a purplish fruit which I can't identify. It looks like a beet to me, but that's a veggie, right?)
Yes a ...
Fruits: Fruit
Hoots: Fruit
Fruits: Is a
Hoots: Is a
Fruits: Any
Hoots: Any
Fruits: Time
Hoots: Time
All: Food, yuuuuuum!
(spoken)
CM: Me get it! Fruit anytime food.
Hoots: That's right.
CM: Cookie sometime food.
Hoots: That's right.
CM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know what? Right now is sometime (grabs the cookie from Hoots),
cooookie! (proceeds to shovel it in as Hoots laughs)
Transcribed by the archive's webmistress Tiny Dancer