The Count Counts 10

skit starring The Count (Jerry Nelson)
and Kermit the Frog (Jim Henson)

(The scene is The Count dressed as he regularly is but with a red hat and a red shirt with a star on it and there is a opened elevator behind him.)

The Count: Ha, ha, hotsy-potsy. My first day on the job as elevator operator.
I can not wait to take someone upstairs on the elevator so I can count the numbers on the different floors.
Ah, ha. Here comes someone now.

(Kermit the Frog enters in a gray hat and a trench coat)

Kermit: Oh, hi there. Uh, could you take me up to ... (looks at him) Count!? Is ... is it you?

The Count: Yes!

Kermit: Well, what are you doing here?

The Count: I am the new elevator operator, ah, ah!

Kermit: Ooh.

The Count: I got the job this morning.

Kermit: Wonderful.

The Count: Ah, yes. And I'm going to love it because I get to count the floors.

Kermit: Ah, well, listen, could you take me up to the seventh floor?

The Count: Ah, at last! Walk this way.

(Both of them walk into the elevator swaying left and right)

Kermit: Okay. Into the elevator.

The Count: Watch your step please. Going up.

(The elevator door closes, and the scene now is inside the elevator.
There are numbers above the elevator that light up when it's at that floor)

The Count: Starting at one and going up.
That's two, two floors!
Three, three floors!
Four, four floors!
Five, five floors!
Six, six floors!

(Kermit begins to get ready to get off)

Seven floors!
Eight floors!

Kermit: Um, um. Wait a second, Count! I ... I wanted to get off on the seventh floor.

The Count: Nine floors!
Ten, that's ten floors! I love it! Ah, ha, ha, ha!!!

(Lighting and thunder)

Kermit: Uh, Count! I wanted to get off on the seventh floor!

The Count: I'm sorry, Kermit. Oh, but I could not stop till I reached the top, ah, ah, ah.

Kermit: Well, would you please take me back down to the seventh floor please?

The Count: Well, of course. That's my job.

Kermit: Yes it is, your job.

The Count: Starting at ten and going down.

Kermit: Uh, this is it.

The Count: Six!

Kermit: No, no, no! You went to the wrong floor again! Listen, Count!
Will you stop this please!? Count! Oh, I'll run this elevator myself!

(Kermit tries to get to the controller but The Count won't let him and pushes him away)

The Count: Five, four, three, two, one! Ah, ah, ah. ah!

(Lighting and thunder)

I love it! Wait, I can't! Oh!

(Both come off the elevator on the first floor)

The Count: But, Kermit, wait. You're angry with me.

Kermit: Yes, I'm angry!

The Count: But why?

Kermit: Because you were suppose to stop at the seventh floor!!!

The Count: Why?

Kermit: Well, because that's what elevator operators do!
They're suppose to take people to whatever floor they want to go in the building!

The Count: They are?

Kermit: Yes! And I wanted to go to the seventh floor!!!

The Count: Ah, but that is no problem.

Kermit: Yeah?

The Count: I know how to take you to whatever floor you want to go in the building and I can still count all the floors without stopping, ah, ah.

Kermit: Oh yeah? How?

The Count: I will take the elevator and you can hop up the stairs.

Kermit: The ... the stairs?

The Count: (He goes into the elevator and the door closes) Bye-bye!

Kermit: Uh ... I have to hop ... in my trench coat?

The Count: (from inside the elevator) One! Two!

Kermit: (sighs and hops to the stairs) Hop, hop, hop, hop.

The Count: Three!

Transcribed by CookieCountDawn

available on the video

Learning About Numbers

Learning About Numbers (1986)