Bert and Ernie and The Fan
skit starring Bert (Frank Oz) and Ernie (Jim Henson)
Bert (writing a letter with a pencil): "Dear Mister Rogers, I wish you would send me ..."
Ernie (entering): Boy, it's a hot one today, Bert!
(Bert doesn't answer)
Bert? Oh, he's writing a letter. I won't bother him.
(Louder)
I won't bother you, Bert!
(Bert looks up, sighs, and continues writing)
I'll just get the electric fan and turn on some cool air.
(Gets the fan and turns it on)
Oh, there, that's better.
(Pause)
If some cool air feels good, I'll bet more cool air would feel even better.
(Turns it on higher; it's starting to get really breezy now!)
Oh, the more air this fan blows, the cooler I feel. I bet if I turned it on all the way, it'd get really cool!
(Does so, and papers start blowing around everywhere.)
Oh, wow!
Bert: Ernie! The fan! Turn it off!
Ernie: What's that, Bert?
Bert: Turn the fan off!
Ernie: I can't hear you, Bert!
Bert: I said, TURN THE FAN OFF!
Ernie: TURN THE FAN OFF?
Bert: TURN THE FAN OFF!
Ernie: Oh, okay. (Turns it off)
Bert: Ernie ...
Ernie: Yes, Bert?
Bert: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I HAVE BEEN SITTING OVER THERE, TRYING TO WRITE A LETTER, AND ALL YOU DO IS BOTHER ME WITH THAT FAN! I AM SO HOT AND BOTHERED!
Ernie: You're hot and bothered, Bert?
Bert: YES, I AM HOT AND BOTHERED!
Ernie: Oh, I have just the thing for someone who's hot and bothered.
Bert: What's that?
Ernie: Cool air, Bert!
(Turns the fan on all the way. Papers blow around, and Bert starts yelling.)
Transcribed by Silvery Shoe
I believe this was originally released on the album
At Home With Ernie and Bert (1979)