That's Love
skit with Prairie Dawn (Fran Brill), Telly Monster (Marty P. Robinson),
Ernie (Jim Henson), and Bert (Frank Oz)
(rehearsal for a Prairie Dawn Production)
(Prairie is playing her tune on the piano, as Ernie comes out of the side curtain of the stage carrying a clipboard)
Ernie: Okay, everybody ready to practice?
Telly (offstage): Ernie! Ernie! Ernie!
Ernie: Let's get the scenery out here!
(Herry Monster wheels a huge paper mache-type heart on stage)
Ernie: Everybody together, let's see. (checks his notes)
(Telly comes rushing up to him wearing a clown outfit)
Ernie: Oh, hi, Telly, you're not out here yet.
Telly: Yeah, I ... I gotta talk to you. I can't do happy! I just don't feel it!
Ernie: Oh, well, sure you can, Telly, listen. Just go backstage and practice laughing.
Ernie: Sure, 'cause how can we do a pageant about all kinds of feelings and not do happy!
Telly: Ohhh, I guess you're right, I'll try.
Ernie: Yeah, you'll be just fine.
(Telly nervously exits the stage. Ernie consults his notes again)
Ernie: Let's see what else ... Bert, are you back here?
(Ernie talks to Bert who's behind the paper mache heart unseen to the audience yet)
Bert: What is it, Ernie? I feel silly.
Ernie: Bert, it's ... you're gonna be great, you look wonderful!
Bert: That's what you always say.
Ernie: Okay, Prairie, you can start the music.
Prairie Dawn: Okay.
(She starts playing the piano)
The Sesame Street Theatre has come here today
With lots of emotion in our little play
Yes, love, anger, happiness are all very real
So, now let's find out different ways people feel
(The stage is still as Bert misses his cue. Ernie sticks his face out from behind the curtain to speak to him softly)
Ernie: Bert.
Bert: What?
Ernie: Bert, that's your cue, Bert.
Bert: Oh, Ernie, I don't want to do this.
Ernie: Come on, Bert. You gotta go out and do your lines now.
Bert: My wings are caught.
(Ernie goes behind the heart and starts to pull Bert onto the stage as he struggles)
Bert: Okay, okay, okay ... I'm alright now, fine, leave me alone.
Ernie: You look good, now, just recite your poem, Bert.
Bert: Fine, fine, fine. (nervous exhale)
Bert: My name is Cupid
I'm an expert on love
Love is two hearts beating as one
Love is the ecstasy of joy
Love .... (hesitates)
Bert: Ernie, I can't do this. Stop it, Prairie. I can't do it, no, I can't do it.
Ernie: Well, what's the matter, Bert?
Bert: Ernie, that's not what love is! At least, not to me.
Ernie: Well, what is love to you, Bert?
Bert: I'll try and explain. Prairie, can you play that other song I put on your piano?
Prairie Dawn: Oh, okay, Bert.
(starts playing slow music)
Bert: When I see some baby pigeons
With their mommy in a nest
I get a joyous feeling
Sort of rising in my chest
That's love
When I see a perfect rock
Or a row of paper clips
A quiet kind of pleasure
Makes a smile come to my lips
That's love, too
When I hold my little nephew
And I bounce him on my knee
And I'm smiling down at him
And he's smiling up at *me*
That's love
(Ernie and Telly both start to quietly come on to the stage as they listen)
Love's a simple thing to see
Why go on for hours?
With oatmeal in a bowl to love
Who needs hearts and flowers?
And even though his silly tricks can drive us far apart
I'll always have a special place for Ernie in my heart
(music stops)
Ernie: Wow, that's beautiful, Bert.
Telly: That was really great, Bert.
Bert (humbly): Thank you.
Ernie: And when we open the show tonight, promise me you won't change a thing.
Bert: Well, I have to change just one thing.
Ernie: What's that, Bert?
Bert (yelling): This ridiculous costume! Look at me, Ernie! You always put me in these costumes ... look at these cardboard wings! I have my pajamas on! Don't you think I feel silly in this?! I mean, you are always doing this ...
(continues ranting as Ernie faces the camera and says ...)
Ernie: Hmmm ... maybe I should have had my old buddy Bert do angry.
Bert: ... I've dressed up in so many silly costumes for these silly pageants, I just can't understand it!
Transcribed by Kristin
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