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Thanks for sending this to me Mark! 
Good ol Harry Caray-
Harry Caray: Hey! If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
Colin Quinn: What?
Harry Caray: I know I would! First, I would smother myself with brown mustard and relish.. I'd be so delicious! [ thrilled with himself ] So, would you?
Colin Quinn: I don't know..
Harry Caray: Don't jerk me around, Norm! It's a simple question! A baby could answer it! If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
Colin Quinn: [ complying ] I guess so.
Harry Caray: Oh, you made a wise choice, my friend! If you had said no, I would have bitten your ear off!
Spartan Cheerleaders-
Butt - butt - butt - butt
Butt - butt - butt - butt UGLY!
You're butt ugly!
We are the mighty Spartans
Riding Up Your Astroturf
People say you're so ugly
Godzilla gave you birth
Hey!
Who's that Spartan gettin' a wedgie?
It's me. It's me.
Who's that Spartan gettin' a wedgie?
It's me. It's me.
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
G-STRING!!
Alex Trebek: Yeah, it was a trick question, Mr. Connery. Why don't you pick a category?
Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.
Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier.
Sean Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?
Alex Trebek: It's not a product, Mr. Connery.
Sean Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen.
Alex Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing!
Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait.. are you selling Penis Mightiers?
Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not.
Sean Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!
Mango: [ escapes from Ben's grip and jumps to his feet ] Why does this keep happening to me? Why does everybody think I'm gay? I just came over to get an autograph for my son! His school happens to be having a charity auction, Mr. Matt Damon man!
Ben Affleck: [ giving up ] Ah.. call me Ben.
Mango: [ outraged ] Ben who-fleck?! What?! Who?! What?! What is this now?!
Ben Affleck: [ falling to his knees ] I'm sorry, Mango! I just never felt like this before! Even though I'm not really funny, just the thought of makes me feel so young! You're everything, you complete me! Oh Mango! [ cries ]
Mango: Shhh, okay, come on.. it's alright.
Ben Affleck: I.. I.. I did good in "Armageddon", I wrecked the asteroid!
Mango: Yeah, I know, I didn't see it, so.. [ singing staticly ] Hush there, little baby, don't say a word.. Manog gonna buy this mockingbird.. And if that mockingbird don't sing.. Mango gonna buy.. the diamond ring." And inside that diamond ring, there'll be a description.. that say.. "You can't have-a the Mango!" [ stands up and slaps himself in the butt, then leaves ] Sandler: This is a song about the high school experience sung
through the eyes of the person who more than anyone
else puts young people on the right path. I'm not
talking about the teachers, I'm not talking about the
coaches, I'm not even talking about the guidence coun-
selors. I'm talking about a person we call.. The Lunch
Lady.
Woke up in the morning, put on my new plastic glove.
Served some reheated salsbury steak with a little slice of
love.
I got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of..
Just know everything's doing fine down here in...
LUNCHLADY LAND
Well I wear this net on my head..cuz my red hair is fallin'
out. I wear these brown orthapedic shoes cuz I got a bad
case of the gout.
I know you want seconds on the corn dogs,
but there's no reason to shout.
Everybody gets enough food down here in the magical..
LUNCHLADY LAND.
(G. E. Smith & band joins in)
Well yesterday's meatloaf is today's sloppy joes.
And my breath reaks of tuna and there's lots of black hairs
comin' out of my nose.
AH
Hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders
navy beans, navy beans, navy beans, navy beans.
hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders
navy beans, navy beans..MEATLOAF SANDWICH.
Sloppy joe slop sloppy joe yeah
sloppy joe slop sloppy joe ooh-yeah
(with Chris Farley)
sloppy joe slop sloppy joe yeah
sloppy joe slop sloppy joe -YEAH
Then one morning that I woke up to see aw the pepperoni pizza
was lookin at me.
It screamed why do you burn me and serve me up cold,
I said a I got the spatula- just do what you're told.
And the liver and onions started joining the fight and the
chocolate pudding pushed me with all its might and the chop
suey slapped me and it kicked me in the head -it's called
revenge LunchLady said the garlic bread
I said what did I do to make you all so mad?
You got flabby arms and your breath is bad.
And the green beans said you better run and hide
but then my friend Sloppy Joe came and joined my side.
He said if it wasn't for the Lunch Lady the kids wouldn't eat ya
You should be shakin' her hand and sayin' pleased to meet ya
She gives you a purpose and she gives you a goal
You should be kissin' her feet or kissin' her mole
Now all the angry food just leave me alone,
And we all live together in our happy home a thanks to
Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe yeah
Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe ooh yeah
Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe yeah
(slower)Sloppy Joe Slop Sloppy Joe well..
Me and Sloppy Joe got married.
We got six kids and we're doin' just fine.
Down in Lunch Lady Land
OHH WOAH! |
