You are about to find out the truth behind the popular television show, Dragon Ball, and all it's following seasons. *insert dramatic music*
Though how they were portrayed, the Dragon ball gang was pretty much the opposite. Most started working on the show to change their image. Here are a couple of interviews we took.
Goku's Interview:
E: Goku, what did you like about working on the show?
Goku: I didn't like when I was interviewed by dorks like you!
E: I think you misunderstood the question-
Goku: Shut up! I do know how to Kamehameha, so watch it!
E: But I am just interviewing you to tell the true story!
Goku: Go to hell!!!!!
~end transmission~
From what I gathered, Goku is truly more like his opposing role, Vegeta. From what I was hearing, Goku was always getting high between takes. There had been stories about his sex life in the news. He and Chi-Chi had not been doing well. They were planning a divorce. Needless to say, Goku soon started to smoke, more intensely. One day, he was sent to the hospital. He had a lung infection from all the smoke. Goku and his wife separated two weeks after the show ended.
After we talked to Goku, we decided to ask the other cast members if it was true.
Gohan: Yup.
Krilled: Yes!
Vegeta: But of course
Trunks: Duh!
Chi Chi: Hai.
Bulma: No, really?
~end transmission~
We gather we were correct.
Since Goku wasn't the only character, we also interviewed others. Here's an bit from our interview with Piccolo.
E: Did you have to wear a lot of make-up?
Piccolo: No! I am naturally this color, thank you!
E: Are you English?
Piccolo: Yes, and please don't say 'yah. Always say 'you'.
E: But I did-
Piccolo: I guess I will have to accept your horrible American tongue. Anyway, what is the next question?
E: Why wasn't your voice normal on the show?
Piccolo: Akira Toriyama didn't let me. He said this show was for Japan, and that if I made my voice sound like a normal Japanese person, I could have the job. No one would hire me back then, so I had to to make money.
E: Is there anything else he asked you to change?
Piccolo: My ears. They used to be normal, like any other human being, but he said that aliens don't have human ears. He made me turn into an elf.
E: So basically, you're saying that he only wanted you you for your color?
Piccolo: Yup. He said after the first series was over that I had done a good job. I was then booked for another season or two.
~end transmission~
Piccolo seemed to like it, but didn't like that Mr. Toriyama only wanted him because he was green...
Now on to the story of Gohan. Though he was a good boy in the show, he wasn't in real life. The truth is while they were shooting "Return My Gohan!", Movie 1, there was a scene were Gohan had to get drunk, correct? Well, Akira wanted it to look authentic, so he really was drunk. Gohan was hooked after this point.
~~We'll continue with the rest of Gohan's Story after this short break~~
[Cheesy commercial for Cover girl]
[Serious Truth commercial]
~And We are back!~
We have an interview with Gohan!
E: Hello, Mr. Gohan
Gohan: The Hills are alive with the Sounds of Hell-o!
E: Er... Um.. Is it true that you are constantly drunk?
Gohan: Is it true that I am always drunk? Is it TRUE? I'll tell you something! *grabs interviewer and pushes roughly against the wall* Damn right, it's true!!!!e
E: Ok...*slowly pushes Gohan off* Is it also true you were having an affair with Juuhachigou?
Gohan: Ah, Juuhachigou... Best damn bitch in the whole Red Ribbon army! *sighs*
E: I guess so...
Gohan: Those stories were all lies!! Lies I tells ya!
E: Whatever...
~End Transmission~
We have one more interview left. Yes, the wonderful Trunks. Fruit of the loom as many would call him. Why? Well....
Trunks: Hell-o! -^_^- Hi! Everyone wants to know me! Ask away E! *Ring ring* One moment! My cell! *picks up* Hey, *Orli! What's up? Mhmm.... Mhmmm? Oh she didn't! Oh she didn't! She did? Thanks for filling me on the latest gossip! Oh! Don't forget dinner at 7, hon. It's our anniversary, remember? Ok then! Love you too! *kissing noises and hangs up* Now then, where were we?
E: That answers the question I was going to ask...
~End Transmission~
Well, it seems all the rumors were true! Goku is a drug addict bastard, Gohan is a drunk, and Trunks is as Gay as a Backstreet Boy. But we all learned a few valuable lessons through-out the filming of the show: Green English elves are what they are looking for when casting for a Namekian, Never drink at an early age (3), and always leave your cell phone off. Thank you for joining us!
[Credits and Vegeta going on about how he should have been Goku]