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This
is the daily journal of my friend's story. His journey to a new
beginning. Updated almost daily, you can watch Marty become...
become what? I'm not sure, but this is his story of change and
internet friendships.
November 15, 2000 (Wednesday)
Thanks for thinking over the questions.
It's cold today, in Shitcago. There is the emptiest mall I've
ever seen near me. You would love it! I'm not into the crush
of holiday crowds, although I do love looking at pretty colors,
materials, lights... I'm a sucker at a mall. The Lincolnwood
mall is ideal for me and my friends. It's empty so much of the
time, I'm afraid that it'll be closed some day.
Your diet news is of great interest
to many of my friends that are just a bit heavy. Of course they
may be normal,, but way too heavy to make the cover of Vogue!
Tis the season to take advice on keeping great tasting calories
cut to a minimum. Let us all know what tricks you pull on yourself
to help keep the high cost of calories off our hips. ;-D
November 13, 2000 (Monday)
Happy Monday the 13th! I'm watching
my e-mail, waiting for your weekly update. The cooling weather,
is that going to effect your walking habits? Have you any plans
for keeping your activity up during the upcoming cold. I know
you hate the malls, especially during the Christmas holiday.
:-) Let me know your plan of attack. Are you offered more kinds
of delicious food during the holidays? I'm curious on how you
will keep your losing trend during your first holiday season
since your life-altering surgery. You'll just have to keep me
updated! :-)
November 10, 2000 (Friday)
If I were in charge of the elections,
I'd piss everyone off. No re-vote, just not allow Florida's vote
to count. Exactly the same as if an 'in-duh-vidual' were to mess
up their own ballot, the ballot is disallowed. Florida needs
to look into the politicians running their voting procedures
and protect themselves in the future. I keep hearing the news,
"This is the political machine inaction." Realizing
the media is really saying, "in action", the reality
seems more like, "inaction".
Marty, being the all knowing sage that
I am, ;-}, any 'fun' you may have that is without depth will
100% of the time lead you to unhappiness. Experiencing many different
people, that's real nice, but having sex with everyone makes
the act meaningless. Reducing something so special to being equal
to a handshake is bound to leave anyone feeling no more important
than a 'rat bastard'. :-)
November 6, 2000 (Monday)
Happy Holloween to everyone!
Wow! Getting a job! If you need any
help putting together a resume, I'm your helper. I've never done
one over the net before, but there is always a first time. :-)
Don't feel too creepy about feeling
abandoned. It's seems more natural feeling that superficial relationships
do have a energy sapping effect. Let's face it, 'friends with
fringe benefits', nice in theory, but in reality, humans want
meaningful love.
October 31, 2000 (Tuesday)
Happy Holloween to everyone!
Hey, my mother made my sister so many
dresses. real complicated little dresses, with pleats... blah
blah blah... The thing is, I recently point blank asked my mother
to make me a dress too. She didn't. As a matter of fact not only
did she not make me a dress, she lied about a dress she bought
claiming she made the dress. Ok, am I being petty? My dear friend,
Susan, made me a dress. I'm just going to have to settle and
not ever expect a special dress from my mother.
As for a super power, living forever
without aging would be interesting. The ability for attracting
wealth might be nice. I already have the best friends in the
world so I don't have to wish for that... :-)
I'm also proud to mention that the cat
club I belong to has given me an award for my cat page.
[ https://members.tripod.com/vidayoh_wiz/cat.html
]
I haven't updated the page, showing
my award graphic, but I intend to in the next few days. :-)
October 21, 2000 (Saturday)
Oh, I've been a grunge gal. Staying
in bed, watching T.V. , not talking to anyone.... just laying
low. I'm healthy, not even all that sick over Duke. (I knew Duke
was sick, so it was really not a surprise.) Maybe I need some
time for thinking.
Marty, you are really looking so much
better! I'm certain you will reach your goal weight. It's almost
a year since your "BIG" operation day.
Geesh! I hope your friends are still
checking out your journal. It seems to me that,, although I wanted
sharing the opinions of all the people you choose sharing this
major event in your life, it's actually a conversation between
the two of us. I think I like it just fine this way. The idea
of several voicees commenting on how the adventure would evolve
would be great, but our two voices has been nice enough for me.
:-)
Hello!!! to all of Marty's friends!
( I like thinking of us as Martians, if you are into X-Files...
we are who they are looking for!) ... my idea of funny...SO!!!:-)
October 12, 2000 (Thursday)
Nice picture! Thanks for sending me
this one. It's so cool! Not only does it have you in it, but
holy crap a really accomplished guitarist, Rik Emmett.
Sorry to everyone for taking so long
to post, but life has been tough lately. Yesterday at 9:01am,
my poor cat, Duke was put to sleep. He had a malinoma in his
mouth. It spread through his lymph nodes into his lungs and he
was just a mess in general. I'll miss his cute high-5 whenever
we demanded one. What a great babe.
I hope Marty and all the friends of
Marty, (Martians) are well and happy. Say 'Hi' to your family
for me Marty. My dad, Mr. Jimmy sends his best wishes to you.
:-)
September 19, 2000 (Tuesday)
I know what you are thinking! Finally
a new post! Yes, I'm in a different world, the world of the head
cold. I've been running so darn hard lately life has finally
bitten me with a bug.
My Dad is doing very well. Last week
I took him out for the time since March! We had a great time
doing ordinary things. Grocery shopping, banking, getting tax
forms... really ordinary stuff. Still, Mr. Jimmy had a great
time. I love being with my dad because he showers me with proud
looks and love.
I missed you Marty! I had an emergency
with my cat, Duke. As you know he has a mouth cancer and I'm
not ready to part with him. He just seems too playful, and happy
to let go of him. I want to keep him until he seems like he is
in too much pain to eat, which is his most favorite thing to
do in life.
Everything else is going along just
fine... with the exception of this cold. Keep me posted on your
health! I know there are several people that care. I cann tell
by how many visitors I get, even if they don't send me any e-mails,
I do know. :-)
September 12, 2000 (late Tuesday)
Hey , how 's it going? I'm in the middle
of a crisis... so what's new? This is supposed to be a journal...
but it's looking more like one long apology!
My Daddy really likes Marty... so watch
your mail for a small gifr of appreciation. It isn't a computer...
so don't get excited. It's more like a gummy bear. :-)
I took Daddy out today, his first day
out in months. He had such a great time.
I'll post Marty's updates later today.
Please forgive my slow updates. Still... love all of you that
are involved with this 'tiny' production!!!!!
September 3, 2000 Sunday
Sorry once again for taking so long
to post. My nephew, Jeffrey, went home to Pasadena and I took
a 3 day nap. OK, I'm exagerating on that, but I did do some sleeping.
Marty! My dear friend! Please take care.
Your caution is exactly the right thing. I'm glad you are having
a good time with baseball, music, women, but keep an eye on how
you feel. That way you will live longer and go to even more baseball
games.
This is the first year in ages that
I'm not going to a Cubs game. As bad as the Cubbies are, the
games are all sold out!
August 26, 2000 Thursday
Even though this is a 'bad' period in
my life... only proves... "It's always something!".
My poor Daddy and my poor Duke... it's always in three's... now
I'm looking at poor KITTEN!!! Is that why God let me grab an
alley kitten off my back porch? Cause I'm gonna need it!!!
Marty, I love what you wrote this entry.
You clearly state my private fears. I want to be at hand for
my dad and my cat... I love them differently... but still, love
is love. :-)
August 23, 2000 Wednesday
Sounds like you should be driving more
and not concentrating on the walking! :-)
I know I've been so slack lately...
It must be the summer time, the lazy part I've heard of in the
song, "The Lazy Hazy Days of Summer".
My Dad, Mr. Jimmy is home. He has fallen
2 times and I'm not sure how long I will have my sweet Daddy.
More bad news, my cat, Duke has a malignant malinoma on the roof
of his mouth. Nothing can be done. Just give him a quality of
life, since he isn't going to have a quantiy of life. So it goes...
August 8, 2000 Tuesday
Hello Marty and friends! I've been really
slack for awhile! As you can see by all the yellow entries I
haven't been keeping up the journal as I really want to. Well,
better late than never. (when I can't think of the right words,
I use a cliche) PLEASE don't take it personally! I've just been
swamped with a bunch of itty bitty crap... figures.
You've been so busy! I saw the Red Hot
Chile Peppers about 14 years ago with X and Janes Addiction in
Los Angeles. I enjoy Stone Temple Pilots too. (HI SODA!!)
Someday Marty will visit me! Then all
the readers can envy the little story we will weave. :-)
July 27, 2000 Thursday
Calling all Marty's!!! I want to support
you and the diabetes walk. Please, give me a call! (baibee!)
Can you get someone to take a picture of you at the finish line?
That would be an impressive image! :-)
I am sure glad your brother is doing
better. "Mr. Jimmy" may be coming home around August
18th. The praying must be working! :-)
July 19, 2000 Wednesday
I've been so unlucky with my ISP lately!
At least it is up today and I can update the journal! I've been
so busy with my Dad, my self and my business. Still, I have been
lucky to have my connection work enough to update on time!
Say hello to your brother for me. He's
on the prayer list. :-) (hey that list is getting longer than
my shit list!) Things are always changing and sometimes that
is good and sometimes... well... you know.
July 15, 2000... Saturday
WOW!!! I'm finally back on track for
one day in a row! Sorry your brother had a scare like that! Very
glad hearing he went home right away.
As for you walking in the name of diabetes...
get in touch with me privately and give me all the details. You
have been such a good internet friend, I would gladly contribute
to the cause. Everyone has something near and dear they support.
The worst response could only be 'NO'. Stay healthy and stay
on track. :-)
July 6, 2000...Thursday... finally!!!
I've been so busy... You don't want
to hear... it is my internet service, my dad... all sorts of
stuff. Pardon my lack of entries. I've been swamped, lazy and
plain old being a slug!
June 28, 2000... update! :-)
After you tell Alice "Happy
Birthday" from me... I hope she doesn't decide to kill you.
I've grown fond of you and would miss you quite a bit if she
does you in. Is there anyone you want me to notify? Am I in your
will? If not update it asap! :-)
mmmm... naked! I hadn't thought
of that! I can be so dense sometimes! Yes, go naked everytime
you can, it feels so darn good! When you do decide on a 'look'
ask the women in your life. (I'm assuming I am one of the many
women!) ;-)
June 28, 2000 (Wednesday)
FANTASTIC!!! When you do start
shopping for your new look, do you have any visions of what sort
of wardrobe you will be looking for? At the rate you are losing,
the shopping days are not that far off in the future. Keep weeding
out old clothing over the next few months. That way you will
never be tempted to wear stuff that makes you look like a slob.
(Do keep some of your favorites! Some days being a slob is the
best!) It's just a thought, I'm not a fashion authority. :-)
June 26, 2000 (Monday)
My mother is overweight and
she's always tired. She has aches and pains, but those can be
from being nearly 80! I make her walk as often as I am able.
Mostly she complains about everything, so it is difficult to
discern what is real.
Do I hear a bit of Bowie in
your 2nd paragraph? :-) I have been with the 'gotta park as close
as I can' parkers. Some of them take more time parking than it
would be if we just parked and walked. I know you are right about
everyone being lazy to some extent, but some people really go
above and beyond the call of laziness!
It amazes me that someone
seeking a healthy change would meet opposition from his doctor!
I realize we all meet up with the 'naysayers', but his own doctor!
This doctor is NOT the regular doctor. Most would see this patient
could be milked for more money! What a jerk! I honestly believe
most people are good, and it's unfortunate that the one of the
'institutions' people are supposed to respect is one of the jerks!!!
On the lighter side... Mrs.
Zimmermann, one of the prolific "mom's" of my neighborhood,
says I'm living in "Fibber Magee and Molly's" apartment.
Apparently this is where they lived before they moved to Hollywood.
If you don't know of them, this is a good time to try Alta Vista!
:-)
June 25, 2000 (Sunday)
Let me know when you reach
the 'skin removal' stage. I'm sure you will be impressed with
your new look. I'm positive, since I had my stomach rearranged
making a new boob out of it! My figure is absolutely stunning.
Although I don't recommend my procedure just to have that print
quality figure! :-)
As for Brenda, she had to
do what she had to do. The 2 female opinions sound correct to
me, so that makes 3 females all in agreement at once! WHEW! That's
one for Ripley! :-)
June 24, 2000 (Saturday)
Observations like fitting
in chairs are exactly the sort of notations I find interesting.
I have a feeling your doctor may purposely use chairs with arms
just for his patients to notice the discomfort and the evolution
to comfort. How is your energy level? Has your breathing improved?
Are there any aches or pains that have disappeared? Has your
pride level elevated? Are women finding you more attractive?
You do deserve to feel proud of making a decision and going for
it! Keep up your focus. My Dad and I are rooting for you. Have
a great day! :-)
6/18/2000 Sunday
Hey! Guys can
become dads at any age! Look at Tony Randall and Anthony Quinn!
You have plenty of time to make that 'Daddyhood' decision. At
this point in your life you are 'childfree'. You have time, don't
worry. My Dad was almost 37 when I was born.
I brought him
a special homecooked meal. He's hating the food they prepare
at Alshore. It was good watching him eat and enjoying every bite.
I can hardly wait for him to get the card you sent! :-)
Anyone wanting
to surprise my dad with a get well card, PLEASE do so.
James
Siciliano@
Alshore
Nursing Home
2840 Foster Ave.
Chicago,
IL 60625
Even though
you don't know him, if you just take a moment and explain you
are a friend of Marty's, he'll understand. He is aware of my
internet 'addiction'. :-)
6/16/2000 Friday
First, I really
am going to get around to breaking this page down to smaller
bits of information. I understand that not everyone has a fast
connection!
Second, Marty
I'm with you! Not only do I understand your thinking. If you
didn't say this for yourself, I would advise you to do exactly
as you have already reasoned out! :-)
6/13/2000 Tuesday
At least you
are 1st class in everything you do! I am not hurt that you forgot.
I know how life really is. Stuff happens! I loves ya anyway!
Thanks to everyone
that is visiting. I find that someone succeeding at reaching
a set goal is an exciting process to watch!
My dad is getting
better! I am so very glad. Everyone keep praying. You see I want
him to be the oldest person ever! He can be the person that disproves
the saying, "Only the good die young". :-) btw, James
Vincent Siciliano is praying for Marty's success, along with
all of us!
6/7/2000 Wednesday
You ARE looking
so much better!!! I bet you are feeling pretty good too! I am
so impressed with your progress. The haircut looks great too.
When I look into my crystal ball, I see all your dreams coming
true. :-)
In the next
few days I'm going to do some rearrangeing on this journal. The
page is getting so darn large. I'm going to split it up. If you
have any suggestions, I'll gladly implement them. :-)
June 6, 2000 (Tuesday)
Are you ever lucky! A sister
that's a Gemini! I am a bit prejudiced in favor of the twins.
;-)
If it's possible, could you
send a picture of Trish too? I'm just so darn nosey. One of those
things my cat taught me, curiosity.
I'm really happy for you.
My feelings are you are doing exactly as you should, not too
fast and not too slow. You're sort of like Goldilocks, just right!
Hope you have a treat day!!
June 1, 2000 (Thursday)
I HATE moving!
I had to move toooo many times after the earthquake, in 1994,
Northridge. I was one of the many that lost my condo. That was
a very difficult time. All is ok now. My thoughts are with you
and Alice.
Daddy is thrilled that he
is in your thoughts. He asks about how you are doing every time
I visit. (He is so sweet!) I take after him!!! I'm taking my
mother (Mary) to visit him later today. I'll keep you updated.
May 31, 2000 (Wednesday)
Happy birthday to your Dad!
I'm so sure he's watching us. My 'Daddy' is still in the hospital.
I try visiting daily but some days it's impossible. He enjoys
hearing that someone from so far away cares. I tell him that
you have him in your prayers. It seems to really cheer him up.
He isn't getting any better, but he isn't any worse.
So, your Dad was a Gemini!
He must have been near perfect, just like me! My 'Daddy' is a
Sagitarius, a fire sign like you. I'm still his little girl and
I love it. :-)
Have a great day! Treat it
like a holiday and do something special! I will do the same.
:-)
May 23, 2000 (Tuesday)
Hey! Congratulations to Brenda!
She must have really wanted to be married. I'm glad for her.
As for you, well... I am so positive you will find the lady for
you... it's not that I am psycic, it's just you are such a very
nice person, it will happen.
I can hardly wait for a new
picture. Your journey is still at the beginning and the best
is yet to come. I won't say 'soon', because I hate that word!
:-)
My Dad is still very sick
and has been in the hospital for 3 weeks now. His doctor had
a hospital bed and walker sent to my parents home. Collin and
I have been trying to calm my mother. For some reason, she seems
to feel my Dad isn't as sick as he really is. Oh wellI hate being
the bearer of bad news but... I'm just looking at the facts,
even if they aren't what I want. So, if I'm a bit slow posting
your entries, bear with me. :-)
May 18, 2000
Glad to hear you'll be getting
a bit of cash! I bet the stress of chatting with strangers burns
off calories! At least I hope it does. :-)
My Dad is much better and
is now in a rehab ward where he is building up his strength.
He met my friend Susan, and was really taken with her smile.
I have such nice friends! Even my parents like them! That is
amazing!!!
Watch for me on AIM. Somehow
I lost all my buddies and have to re-add them. It's always something!
:-)
...May 17, 2000...
Hi! Thanks for your patience.
I've been having a busy time. My Dad is still in the hospital,
but he's improving. The doctors say he will be home soon. Still,
they don't say what 'soon' is.
So, you look like Andre! Well
he IS Italian and I approve of that. :-) Today is your weigh
in day. I'm rooting for you!
5/3/2000, Wednesday
I loved hearing the good news,
but the bad news of you falling really made me sad. That blood
preasure is fantastic. Your face is really starting to change.
I think the smile is looking more sincere. :-)
I'm still having internet
connecting problems, but they will clear in a few days. If you
rent any movies, and you haven't seen "The Sixth Sense",
go now. Drop everything and get that movie! That's all I can
say about that. :-)
5/2/2000, Tuesday
Hi Marty and everyone visiting.
My internet connection has been going down, so, I'm not getting
the posts up in a timely manner. Please forgive me. I'll be posting
the new picture either later today, or tommorrow morning. Thanks
to everyone for visiting and watching the progress of someone's
adventure. The new picture looks great! The loss is really showing
now. Break a leg! I'm certain you will reach your goal weight
in record time. :-)
4/27/2000
No one is happier than me
about my connection! I bet you are really starting to look different
now. I can hardly wait for the new picture. :-)
4/26/2000 (Wednesday)
Hello! Sorry for the lag.
I've been having a connection problem. All is cleared up for
now. I should have the journal all updated by the end of the
day. Thanks for your patience. Karen, I love your sense of humor!
Keep sending jokes. :-)
4/13/2000 (Thursday)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Even if
I'm late! I've been having a very busy week. (I am happy to say!)
Send my best wishes to Brenda.
Karen, I don't understand?
"well, does the word blooming onion mean anything to you?"
I'll feel like an idiot once you tell me. :-)
4/5/2000 (Wednesday)
Break a leg Brenda! (That's
show-biz talk :-p). I'm sorry I've been so busy with work. I'm
trying to catch up on my posts. Don't give up on me! :-)
Karen says, "ever see
a beautiful butterfly emerge from its cocoon? well......i am
watching this one"
3/28/2000
Karen says...(and I agree...:-))
hot damn now that's one good
looking dude! mmmmm mmm
Hey Karen, I see what you
see. :-)
3/31/2000
Success stories aren't good
unless there are a few hurdles along the way. At the rate you
are losing weight, you will eventually lower your blood pressure.
Let me know at what point it starts coming down. March 29th was
my mom's birthday. Happy birthday MaMa. :-)
3/27/2000 (Monday)
You are losing so fast! I
can expect a picture almost every 2 weeks! Someday, I'll be able
to replace the 'hunk' picture with the new Marty look. Please
no chaps, If I have any imput, I'll keep an eye on you and make
my suggestions as you emerge into your new self. :-)
in response to you and marty
wondering if anyone reads the journal i do daily....note the
time i do it every morning at this time...lol (Karen, aka...
Tomkatpee )
...Thank you Karen, for your
response. I'm glad you are one of the friends supporting our
'hammie'. :-)
3/25/2000 (Saturday)
I'm really glad people are
checking this internet story out. Don't worry about length...
copy barely takes any space... Running into old friends! Isn't
that fun? Especially when you are in an upswing. My dad asks
about you too, and he's older that the pope! (83! The Pope is
only 79.)
3/24/2000 (Friday)
THANK YOU Karen! I'm certain
now that there are 3 daily visitors, and fairly certain of 4
or so regular visitors... just not daily. Marty sent 2 pictures,
and I will probably use the other also. I chose this one because,
for one there is a postal worker in the background, and that
has so many possible jokes... the other reason is, look Marty's
face is changeing!!!
3/21/2000 (Tuesday)
Well, Happy Birthday and hello
to Matt and Marcia! I am certain someone visits. Can't say if
anyone is a daily visitor or if anyone besides Marty and Maria
are looking at these words we are writing. It would be nice to
believe someone reads and understands what an adventure you are
on. The challenges anyone faces when making a life altering decision.
This is good practice, remembering there are solutions in our
control and exercing our right to altar our behavior. If no one
else finds interesting, well I have 2 words, and the 2nd one
is them! Oh, btw... Get me more pictures! Your losing weight
so fast, I'm going to need a video of it!
3/20/2000 (Monday)
Ah Marty, you are doing so
well! Sorry I missed you at the chat today. I only missed you
by minutes too. I saw the room disolve... boohoohoo. Today has
been nuts anyway. I finally have my fast connection, but it was
hell setting it all up. I'll watch for you tomorrow! :-)
3/19/2000
Hideehey Marty! On Friday,
when you called, you mentioned a meal your mom was making using,
Campbell's Golden Mushroom soup. Great call, Collin loves that
stuff! He couldn't find it at first and thought we made it up!
After a 10 minute search he grabbed 2 regular cans and walked
into the almost hidden Golden Mushroom soup. Anyway, he found
it, and we used it in the traditional Chicken, rice and magic
mushroom combo, in the oven... and yummy!!!
3/15/2000
It's great that your mind
wanders into some 'angry' territory. Funny or not so funny, so
many have the exact same description, 'negative thinking'. Try
this, if you can't see it, smell it, hear it, taste it, or feel
it, 'it' must be nonsense! Thoughts, negative or positive, are
only nonsense, may as well deliberately wander through positive,
and/or happy thoughts. (Ever see 'Peter Pan'?)
3/13/2000
Hey! I'm on the job today!
Just got your e-mail and got it on the net within the hour! Whew!
I'd love any picture! got any baby pictures? :-)
3/12/2000
Ah, last night, I went to
a St. Pat's todo! I had a great time only wish I could have danced
more! I'm still working on learning how to use my camera so I
can post a 'video minute' for anyone interested in my movie insites.
It'll happen, it just may not be as fast as I wish. Marty! You
have got to send me a picture! 4 inches will definately show
in a photo! (Do I sound like I'm nagging? :-)) Karen may be onto
something about the females you like, although I'm a Gemini.
Still, Gemini and Pices are both signs that deal with duality.
I miss Karen, espcially now that 'chat central' is often an empty
abandoned place. Ocasionally, I still find my chat pals there.
I realize I don't always seem like I'm listening, cause I jump
around alot in my thoughts, not very organized. Still, everyone
faces some special journey, and I am interested in your story
of a new beginning. Forgive me when I don't appear to be listening,
I'm thinking... that's all. :-)
3/9/2000
Happy birthdays to both Karen
and Sodapop! Marty, you have such great taste in friends! If
I must say so myself. The weather is back to normal in 'shitcago'!
We had some of the lovliest spring weather! Ah but today is overcast
and a full 40° colder than yesterday! Oh well, back to normal.
3/7/2000
Happy Mardi Gras! Today, in
Chicago is so beautiful! It's breaking records. Oh, I wish it
would just stay this way. Marty, Marty, Marty... where's the
picture? :-) Have a great day, if I don't spot you somewhere
in the chats.
3/4/2000
Sorry, about not posting.
My ISP got all confused and discontinued my service 2 days in
a row! Anyone wanting to contribute comments on how Marty is
doing, and feeling, have no fear, I'll add your opionions as
well.
3/`1/2000
I know what you mean about
keeping a journal, especially publically. I imagine the thoughts
going through your mind are amazing. I know it can really sound
sappy, espcially on the net, saying personal feelings. Get me
some damn pictures!! People tend to have a voice in their heads,
(not like the sickness) a critical voice, commenting all the
time... good... bad... just criticizing all things... remembering
past events and making people feel bad for years. Weird stuff,
events that may have happened when you were tiny, come back to
annoy and effect us for years and years. SO... you know what
I mean? When change happens, the thoughts or voices have some
extreme swings. There will be those times when the accomplishments
feel great, and in minutes... a new, not so good mood. Don't
worry, expect it and keep happy thoughts.
2/29/2000
Marty, if a little amusement
helped, I'm glad I sent it. Of course you're just laughing at
my 'Ricky Martin' draw! What? Hey, everyone check it out! :-)
Celebrity Soulmate - This
will match you up with a celebrity if you want to find a suitable
male celebrity use this link
if you want to find a suitable female celebrity use this link:
2/28/2000
Woah! That's just so fantastic!
Now, I know you have got to send me a picture. 35 pounds is going
to show, even if you don't see it just yet. Stick with the walking,
it'll only make it go faster. Water is a great helper too! I'm
so happy for you!
2/25/2000
OK, I edited... heavily...
on your journal entry, but I will keep the e-mail until by drive
blows! The wicked step-creeps have invaded my 'guestbook'. Coward,
didn't have the nerve to give a real name or a way to respond,
a truly 'wicked' character... that's ok, rounds out the 'Cinderfella'
story. Susan, sort of likes the 2 sides of the story, and you
certainly have fans, as well as the 'others'. Well, I'm brave...
and my e-mail is open for arguement or agreement. See you at
the chats!
2/22/2000
I can't get the 'Cinderella'
part of our chat out of my mind. The 'anti-marty' people are
the, wicked step-mom and the evil step-sisters. (Actually, I
think there is only a single 'anti-marty' person.) In my mind
all the characters are in place... we are ready to tell America's
favorite story... I likey!
2/19/2000
My Dad says, 'Listen to your
doctor!'. My dad is 83, and has been listening to doctors for
quite awhile. A pound a day! This is sounding like a success
story! Me likey success story!
2/18/2000
I agree with Karen. When you
are ready to go shopping really splurge! Think about how the
new Marty is going to dress. And what place wouldn't allow sharing
a plate or ordering a kids plate?! Tell, I want to NEVER go there.
2/17/2000
You mean like real people?
A real chat? In a real place? Ask them if they have a place on
the net. You are such a good chatter. Also, as you shrink, so
will that scar. Most of all, I want a picture... so I can move
this one down the page and put it in your past.
2/16/2000
V-8 is so good. Glad it's
one of the things you can include. Sorry for my own personal
bad mood on this day. Things change... I'm better now.
2./15/2000
Well, goodie for her! Goodie,
goodie for YOU! I'm proud of your achievemants. :-)
2/14/2000
Happy Valentine's Day!!! 15
pounds!!! Sounds like you better get a hold of a camera and send
me some pictures! You will pick up the pace, as you feel better
from the surgery. Give yourself a big pat on the back for your
success so far. (see you at the chat.)
2/12/2000
Do some little gesture that
acknowledges the passing of your parents wedding anniversary.
You don't have to have a long conversation, just a card or some
gift that lets your mom know the day will always be special.
|
When I asked Wiz what she thought of
the idea of me keeping a journal to chronicle this "excellent
adventure" of mine, she thought it was a good idea. I had
never done anything like this before, but I thought it might
be fun. I didn't have time to find an actual "journal"
before I went into the hospital, so I made sure that I took a
notebook and a pen so I could commit my thoughts t paper. Well......it
turns out that I never felt like writing anything while I was
actually in the hospital, so these first few entries are re-creations
of what was going on....
...November 14...
Since I don't have a whole lot to say today, I would like to
address some of the Wiz'z questions...
Walking could get tricky. Mary and I went for a walk yesterday,
but we had to cut it short because of the cold wind a-blowing.
There are a couple of malls in the area we could walk at, but
I hate to walk there because of all the people, and we are heading
into the busiest mall time of the year. What we will most likely
do is start walking at the YMCA after Mary gets a membership.
As far as the holiday eating...I really don't do much socializing,
so it's not like I have a whole "holiday season" that
I have to worry about. But, I have wondered how I am going to
handle Thanksgiving dinner myself. I would hate to be just now
starting my post-op period and not be able to eat any of the
good stuff. I am lucky, in that I am at the point where I can
pretty much eat anything, so I am sure I will have at least a
little bit of all of my favorites. The trick will be just to
watch myself and make sure that I don't eat too much...and to
keep WALKING, Marty, sDAMMIT!!!!! Whether I have someone to walk
with or not!!..lol
...November 13...
It hasn't been a good week, at least in terms of weight. I put
3 pounds back on...except I REALLY put back on 5 pounds, because
I had lost 2 more between Monday and Thursday of last week :-(
It's the same old story...eating, moping, not walking. I think
things are going to change, though. For one thing, I met a new
walking partner(hi, Mary!!!!)and we walked together on Saturday
and Sunday. She seems to be pretty enthusiastic about walking(so
far), so as long as I don't do anything to fuck it up, I'll be
all right..lol.
The moping...well, I think I am getting over that, too. I
had a little talk with my lady friend and we kind of came to
an understanding. She told me she wasn't in a postion where she
wanted to have a relationship right now(which I pretty much knew
going into the whole thing). She also said I should get out and
enjoy life, instead of sitting around and moping and waiting
for her to call.
So, I am going to try to do that. And, even though I still
miss her(a lot), I feel better to have a clearer understanding
of what the situation is. It doesn't mean I will never see her
again, anyway. At least I don't think it does...I never really
did come right out and ask her that..lol.
Speaking of getting out, I am going to try to go see The Exorcist
this week while it is still in the theaters. It's one of the
few movies I have ever seen that really scared me(scared the
hell out of me, actually). It should be interesting to see it
on the big screen, especially with the new footage. Wish me luck
on not dying of fright, and avoiding the tempation to eat a large
tub of popcorn..lol.
...November 10...
I suppose there is some truth to what
you say, Maria. I don't think I could have sex with someone I
didn't care about, anyway. At least, I don't think so...I couldn't
answer that for sure unless the situation ever came up..lol.
As far as my current relationship problem...I
had a discussion with this lady. She told me I need to get out
and enjoy life, and not sit around and mope and wait for her.
So, I am going to try to do that...wish me luck!
I had to go to the doctor today, mainly
for a check-up (My bp was 112/60...I forgot to ask how low is
too low?..lol)but I have also been having some pain in my right
shoulder. She said there was definitely some sort of knot or
something in there, but she wasn't sure what it was and therefore
wasn't sure how to proceed. She is going to discuss it with another
doctor and a radiologist and get back to me. I got the general
impression that she didn't think it was anything major. You can
be sure I'll let you know all the details, whether you want to
know or not..lol. Have a great weekend :-)
...November 8...
Wow, what an election, huh? We may never know who won..and we're
probably better off that way!!..lol.
I have often told myself(and any woman that I might be involved
with at the time, all 3 of them in my lifetime..lol)that I am
not interested in a serious relationship right now. My reasoning
has always been...I never got a chance to date when I was my
teens/early 20's, so if I get a chance to date different women
now, I want to do it. Besides, how can I figure out what I want
unless I get to meet different women, right? I thought that was
pretty sound reasoning...now I am beginning to wonder if I am
full of shit.
Maria(the Wiz)says humans want meaningful love. I know that I
do, eventually...but, maybe I want it now, and I just want to
be able to flirt with other women, and have sex with them should
the opportunity ever arise(like THAT'S gonna happen). Maybe I
am just a rat bastard like every other man out there(with "guy
jeans", as soda puts it..lol).
All I know is...for someone that doesn't want a "serious
relationship", it hurts an awful lot to not be able to see
this lady as much as I want to. It hurts even more when I feel
like I am not anywhere near the top of her list of priorities(and
I don't HAVE to be at the top, but I would like to at least feel
like I am ON the Goddamn LIST!!!!!!), which I have been feeling
a lot lately. There are times when I think that we have plans
to get together, and then she either doesn't see it that way,
or she just completely fucking forgets about me, I am not sure
what the deal is. Yet, when I talk to her, she always says how
much she misses me, I can't understand it...it's very damn frustrating....
WHEW!!! OK, done with my(almost)daily whine...anyone care for
some cheese?..lol
...November 6...
I weighed in today(well, I actually went yesterday) and....I
didn't lose anything last week. But I know why, so I just have
to do better. I have been sort of down lately....I have been
trying to get out and exercise, but I have been doing a lot of
sitting around and moping and eating.
There's a woman I have been kind of seeing for a while. Lately,
she has been busy and has not had much time to see me. Now, I
know that most people(other than myself)have lives. I also know
that when we started seeing each other, we more or less said
we were going to be, ummmm...how to put it?? "Friends, with
fringe benefits", maybe...nothing serious, so I really have
no claim on her time, but..... Fuck it...I could go on and on,
but you would all just wind up thinking I am just some big sensitive
weenie...maybe you already do..lol. The thing that bothers me
the most is that there have been a few times that I was under
the impression that we had plans to see each other, and apparently
she didn't have the same impression. Maybe I am the female in
this relationship...I seem to be spending a lot of time sitting
around hoping that she'll call. That ain't no good, I need to
get a fucking life.
On the upside, I AM looking for a job now...keep your fingers
crossed for me.
...October 31...
Happy Halloween!! What has been going on? well, let's see....my
younger brother had to do the stress test/angiogram thing that
I went through a few weeks ago. He had been saying he was going
to get his heart checked out, but before he got around to it,
he wound up in the hospital having chest pains. So, he got his
heart checked out, after all... He did great on the exercise
portion of the stress test, but the pictures showed that there
might be some sort of blockage, so an angiogram was called for.
This is the part that interests me.... No one explained to me
before I had my angiogram that if anything showed up, like a
blocked artery or something...they can't do anything about it
at the hospital here in Middletown. They have to stitch you up
and transfer you to Dayton or Cincinnati, and then run the catheter
up in you again to do the angioplasty. I guess it's a good thing
that I didn't have any blockages, because I would have been pissed
to have to go through that..lol. Luckily, my bro found out before-hand,
and he got transferred first.
Here's where I get petty...the day of his angiogram, everyone
in the family(immediate family, anyway)came to visit him in the
hospital. Now, I love my brother, don't get me wrong....but it
kind of bothered me that he had all this support and I didn't.
My mom said something about coming with me when I had mine, but
when I mentioned to her how much it would hurt for her to sit
out at the hospital for 6 hours...let's just say she didn't insist
on being there. My older bro came to see him, my sister drove
an hour to be there...
The only person that was there for me was Sandi... whatever happens
between me and her(and as usual, I am very confused about some
things..lol), I will always be grateful for that.
Anyway, the upshot of all the testing is, my brother's heart
checks out completely fine(YAY!!!), and I feel like a real jerk
for letting it bother me that he had everyone there for him.
But I am used to that...I carry so much guilt around, I should
have been Jewish..lol.
I'll stop whining now...beware of ghoulies and ghosties, and
long-legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night. AWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(LATE POSTING)
October 23
If you could have a super power, which one would you choose?
I have been getting some surveys in my e-mail, and I usually
don't respond to them, but I thought that was an interesting
question.
My usual(perverted)answer to that is that I would like the power
of invisiblity. The(perverted)reason for that, which should be
obvious to anyone that really knows me, is so I could go into
female locker rooms and similar places and be undetected. I bet
you're thinking that's perverted, huh?..lol.
Now, I am thinking...although it isn't exactly a "super"
power, it might be kind of nice to have the ability to read people's
minds. You know...to know if someone really means it when they
say, "I miss you", or, "I care about you"(actually,
the phrase was, "I love you", but I think you know
what I'm saying..lol).
What power would you choose? Feel free to e-mail me and let me
know....
...October 16...
Wow, long time no write!! I have had a little problem that has
prevented me from spending much time online for the last couple
of weeks. I have decided not to go into all the grisly details.
OK, maybe I will, but not right now...let's just say it was very
painful to sit in front of the computer. Things are a little
better now, but I still can't sit for a great deal of time.
What's been going on, other than that? Not a whole hell of a
lot. For two weeks I couldn't do much other than lay around on
the couch, which would have been heaven for me if it had happened
before I started losing weight, but has actually been kind of
a drag,
not to be able to get out and walk around much or anything.
I don't know how, but I did manage to lose 7 pounds despite the
inactivity. I now weigh 295. I have been trying to remember when
I last weighed under 300 pounds. As best I can recall, I think
it was right around the time my dad died, 14 years ago. It seems
kind of strange to think about, since that was the point where
I really stopped caring for a very long time...in a way, I guess
I have come full circle. I just have to keep going onward and
downward from here.
On a personal note...Maria, I was very saddened to hear about
Duke. I have never had a pet that I cared a great deal about,
but I know for you(and many other people)animals are more than
pets, they are a part of the family. I have been thinking about
you and praying
for you(and Duke)a lot. No words of wisdom(I think I have proven
time and again I am incapable of that)...I know that you know
he is better off and not sufferingnow. **big hugs**
...September 27...
I had a pretty good weekend last week. I got to see my old high-school
buddy, Tim. It was really fun re-living some of the old times,
we were a couple of wild and crazy guys in high school..lol.
There was the time we(me, Tim, and our other buddy, Ron)went
egging with 18 dozen eggs...we were all too chicken-shit to throw
any until we got outside of town, though...let me tell you, the
stop signs in the country-side around Middletown took a beating
that night..lol.
There was our prom...me and Tim shared his date(nothing kinky,
unfortunately..lol). I danced one dance with her, which I think
is the only time I ever danced with a woman until I started my
social butterfly phase last year(unless you count my sisters-in-law
at their wedding receptions..lol). OK...maybe we weren't so wild
and crazy...it was still
good to see him..lol.
...September 21...
Maria....so glad to hear that you've been out andabout w/Mr.
Jimmy. Sure, those were ordinary everydaytasks, but sometimes
there is great pleasure to be had in the small things in life.
I have been watching my mailbox, and yesterday I thought I had
received the gift of which you spoke(btw, I don't like gummies..lol)
It turned out to be a pic of me and one of my heroes,
the amazing guitarist Rik Emmett. Big thanks to Tim for taking
the pic and mailing it to me. I am somewhere around 160 pounds
down in this pic. Have a great day, everyone!!!!
...September 19...
Well, I was going to continue the story of my travels, but I
have something else on my mind today... I had to go to the doctor
today and get the results of the stress test I had last week...now
I am stressing about the results..lol. Well, not now, but I was....
He said there weren't any apparent blockages, which is a good
thing...but, my heart doesn't pump as well at it should, which
is not so good, and which means more tests for Marty. I have
to have an echocardiogram Monday, and an angiogram the Friday
after that.
I didn't think it was any big deal until I went to the desk for
scheduling, and I heard the nurses throwing around terms like
"congestive heart failure" and "cardiomyopathy",
which is what killed my dad and my uncle.
My brother has lived with cardiomypathy for about the last 5
years or so, though, so, even if I have it, I have to just do
what I can to be as healthy as a I can, and not worry about it.
...September 16...
Hey everybody....haven't written in a while, sorry. No special
reason, just being a slacker..lol. My big adventure last weeknd
turned out to be not quite so big, but it still had some high
points...I will hit them for you...
The first one was actually the rental of the car...I had to ask
my brother to put it on his credit card, and I would pay him
back...157 bucks. As we were leaving the rental place, he asked
me how much weight I had lost. "159 pounds as of last Monday,
why?" He said, "I don't know if you remember, but a
long time ago I offered to give you a dollar for every pound
you lost. So, we(him and his wife, Lara)are going to pay for
the car for you." He also gave me a little bit of money
to spend...I almost started to cry, until he told me not to get
all mushy on him..lol. I at least had to give them both a hug,
though...very unusual for me to hug a guy, even if he IS my brother..lol.
Friday, I hit the road, and I was making tracks...a bright red
2000 Chevy Cavalier. By far the nicest, sportiest car I have
ever driven. The only bad thing about it was it didn't have a
tape player, so I was stuck with the radio. It was awfully hard
to find some good rock and roll as I was ripping through Indiana..lol.
My first stop was Ft. Wayne, to see a performance by one of my
all time favorite guitarists, Rik Emmett. He used to be in a
band called Triumph, they had a fair amount of radio play in
the late 70's/early 80's. I won't go into too much detail about
the performance, 'cept to say it was fantastic...great singing,
great playing, and he told some funny stories, too.
I sat at a table with a guy named Tim from Ft. Wayne. I had fun
talking to him about the band he's in. After the show, we got
to meet Rik since we had forked over the extra 20 bucks for the
VIP tickets. I got Rik's autograph(again...I got an autograph
from him about 10 years ago)and one for my mom and my bro, and
for my buddy that lives in Saudi Arabia, and then Tim took a
picture of me standing next to Rik. I hope to get it in the mail
very soon....a great night. Thanks, Tim...and thank you, Rik!!
I have to go, but I will continue this soon....I know you are
all waiting with bait on your breath...lol.
,,,September 8...
Well, I set off on my next(and probably last, for awhile)big
adventure today. I am going to spend the weekend travelling...to
Indiana tonight to see Rik Emmett. Most of you probably don't
know who he is, but he is a fantastic guitarist(formerly of a
band called Triumph), and I get to meet him, too!!!
After the show, I am driving to Michigan to see Mindy. I will
spend the night there, and then all day Saturday and the next
night. Then, if everything goes according to plans, I will be
spending Sunday in Chi-Town...the Windy City...hmmm, there are
probably other nicknames for Chicago, but I can't think of them
right now. How about, "The Town That Mrs. O'Leary's Cow
Nearly Destroyed Single-hoofedly"??..LMAO Have a great weekend
everyone...full report in a few days!!!
...September 7...
Hmmmm.....not a whole lot going on, as you can see by all the
entries..lol. I hope everyone had a good Labor Day weekend. We
had a cookout on Saturday, and got to see some relatives we had
not seen for quite awhile(Hi Wayne, Debbie and Tiffany!!) Wayne
especially seemed to be very happy with my progress...it would
have been nice to see my long-lost uncle Steve, too, but he had
to work.
I met a cool new lady to walk with(Hi Sandi!). She brought her
niece with her the first couple times we met, which I have no
problem with. I know the net is a place full of weirdos, so I
understand the need to be cautious. I generally don't worry too
much about
anything going on when I go to meet these ladies...in fact, I
hope one of them WILL attack me and have their way with me..lmao.
Oh yeah, Monday weigh-in, blah, blah, blah...I lost 8 pounds
for the week, 159 altogether. Yippee for me!! Gotta go, people.
Keep walking, keep smiling, and have a great week...or, as the
inmmortal Casey Kasem would say, "Keep your feet on the
ground and keep reaching for the stars!"..lol
...August 29...
I had a bit of a scare last night....I have been having pains
in my left arm for awhile, now.(They started the night before
I went to Milwaukee, but I wasn't going to let anything but death
stop me from making that trip..lol)
I went to see my doctor(actually, her assistant, because she
was out of town)and he checked me out, did an EKG. He said the
EKG looked great, but told me to see the heart doctor to be on
the safe side, and they made me an appointment. One of the questions
he asked, though, was if my jaw was hurting, too, to which the
answer was, "No," at the time.
Last night, my jaw started hurting a little, too. So, his question,
combined with the history of heart trouble in the family sort
of combined to freak me out a little, and I went to the emergency
room. To make a long story sh...well, a little less long, they
said it wasn't my heart, it's probably some sort of muscle strain.
If it is a strain, it must be from
doing the paper route, it's my throwing arm..lol. Just to be
cautious, I think I will keep the appointment with the heart
doctor tomorrow.
I forgot to mention last week, I jammed with my buddy Dave and
a drummer friend of his(what up, Earl?). It was a lot of fun...I
have been wanting to do it for awhile, but have been putting
it off(too damn lazy, mainly). I also played bass for a church
service this
past Sunday...I saw the music for the first time around 9:30
AM, and the service was at 10:30. Not as much prep time as I
would have liked, but my part went OK, mostly through the use
of my KISS method of playing.(Keep It Simple, Stupid..lol)
...August 28...
Friday night, I went to th B.B. King Blues Festival with my brother
and his friend Andy. I was thrilled that my ass actually fit
in the seat(next big battle, going to a Reds game..lol)...I still
spilled over at the top, though(sorry, Andy)..it was a good thing
we had an extra ticket, so I was only scrunched on one side..lol.
As for the music, we saw Susan Tedeschi and Buddy Guy as well
as B.B. I had heard some really good things about Susan Tedeschi,
but I saw her on Austin City Limits and wasn't terribly impressed.
She was pretty decent in Cincy, though...she played 4 or 5 songs
that kicked pretty serious ass. (Arse, if you're English..lol).
Buddy Guy was next, and he tore the roof off the dump. He looked
just like Jimi Hendrix, except he plays guitar right-handed.
Oh, yeah, and he's dead, like Jimi..lol. I wasn't familiar with
the songs of his own that he played, but he did do some covers
of songs I knew..."Got My Mojo Workin'", "I Just
Wanna Make Love To You"...
B.B. was pretty good, too, but kind of a let down after the showmanship
of Buddy Guy. I mean, damn, he's 74, I guess he has earned the
right to sit in a chair on stage, but...it didn't make for much
to look at...maybe I prefer style over substance..lol.
Saturday, I hung out and talked to Teresa for awhile. I met her
a few weeks ago and we walked together. She's a very nice lady,
and she's a school teacher, so she is smart, too. I look forward
to playing Scrabble with her, it could be quite a challenge.
I would like to take a moment here to add that all of the women
I have met so far have been very pretty ladies, in my opinion(which,
admittedly, may not count to anyone but me..lol).
OK, OK...I have been avoiding this. I gained 5 pounds last week
:-( I haven't been able to walk...I have been having pains in
my left arm, and even though neither I nor the physician's assistant
think it is anything to be worried about, he said I should not
over exert myself until I can see the heart doctor Wednesday.
With the history of heart trouble in my family, I tend to agree
with him. I am actually not as distressed by the weight gain
as I thought I would be...and I am not sure if that is a good
thing, or not.
...August 24...
Wiz's comment about not having her
Daddy much longer got me thinking.....When my dad died, he was
in the hospital for a week. He had been in so many times before,
I just figured this was another one of those times, and he would
be coming home soon. I never made the time that whole week to
go see him, until they called us out there the
last day.
The last words I ever heard my dad say were, "I'm not giving
up," as he struggled to breathe through lungs filled up
with his own fluids and a heart that wasn't working anywhere
near the way it should. Soon after, he was gone. I hated myself
so much, for so long, for not making the time for him...I sometimes
think I was secretly trying to kill myself by gaining all that
weight.
Well, I'm not dead yet...but reading over what I have just written,
it dawns on me that I must not have learned my lesson very well,
because I still don't let people know how I feel about them,
and I am still a very self-centered bastard a lot of the time.
However,
they say admitting you have a problem is the first step, so maybe
there is hope for me.
Please keep the Wiz and Mr. Jimmy(and Duke)in your thoughts and
prayers. Also, have a good thought that I can become the kind
of person I would like to be.
Thanks.
...August 21...
I haven't written in awhile. There hasn't been a whole lot going
on lately. But, I did have a fairly awesome weekend, so let's
talk about that..lol
Gina....I have known her for about 2 years now. We started out
as e-mail pen-pals. I actually wrote to about 6 or 7 ladies the
same time as Gina, but the other ones pretty soon resorted to
just forwarding me jokes every couple of days...I get all the
jokes I
need, thank you very much..lol. Gina actually wrote letters to
me, told me what was going on in her life, and I did the same,
which I thought was the whole point of pen-pals in the first
place..lol
We eventually started chatting some, and then talking on the
phone, and now we usually talk at least a couple of times a week,
but we had never met in person. Until this past weekend, that
is..lol.
Omitting some of the details of the
planning of the trip, we were going to meet in Indianapolis,
and then it changed to Chicago. That didn't work out very well,
either, so I decided to just drive to Milwaukee(I didn't tell
Alice, though...she was freaked out enough that I was driving
6 hours to Chicago..lol).I hit the highway about 4 a.m Saturday,
and went screaming through Indiana, hitting 85-90 mph most of
the way. Through Illinois, the Chicago area(maybe O'Hare Airport
picked me up as a very low-flying aircraft..lol). It was very
exciting for me, to be doing something spontaneous like this.
Before I had the surgery, I would have only wished I could take
this sort of a trip, I never would have actually done it. I won't
go into every detail of what we did(I know, I can hear you all
saying, "Thank God!!" Or Buddha, or Allah..specify
your deity of choice..lol). We DID go bowling, though, and she
kicked my ass severely 3 games in a row...but I made up for it(almost)by
beating her at Scrabble and cards..lol.
Of course, you know me...in the midst of all that excitement,
I had to settle into a bit of a melancholy mood for awhile...I
think what triggered it was the bowling, slapping hands with
Gina as she was bowling strike after strike, the way I used to
do with Brenda. It got me thinking about how I also used to hug
and kiss Brenda for good luck, and that just wasn't an option
here....but I couldn't help wishing that I had someone that wanted
to hug and kiss me. I am sorry, GB, if I was too much of a drag
then. Gina really knocked herself out to try and show me her
city(which I thought was really cool, BTW), and to
see that I had a good time. Things didn't always seem to work
out like she planned(not that we really had a plan for this spur
of the moment jaunt..lol), but hey, in the end, the important
thing for me was that I got to meet her. I had a great(but exhausting,
when you include the drive..lol)time, and I was sorry to see
it end.
Thanks, Gina!!! And I even lost 6 pounds for the week,
so... maybe I should drive to Milwaukee every weekend(or at least
drive SOMEWHERE...I am sure Gina would get tired of me pretty
quickly..lol).
P.S. That's 156 pounds total, if you're scoring along at home..lol.
Have a great week!!!
... August 14...
Well, the dreaded weigh in day....I was not looking forward to
it at all...eating more than I should, not walking enough....I
still managed to lose 1 pound, though, for a total of 150. I
will gladly take that..lol.
I am curious about something, maybe you women can help me out(all
2 or 3 of you that read this, anyway..lol).
Do women like to cuddle, or not?(Gina, I already have your answer..lol).
From reading personal ads, I assumed this was a big thing for
women, which is fine, because I enjoy it, too(a lot!!..lol).
I went to a lady's house to watch a couple of movies, and yes,
I expected that we would sit together on the couch, and eventually
get a little cuddle thing going.(I know, I know...my first mistake
was having expectations..lol). Well, she sat in the chair for
both movies, then started talking about how tired she was. Luckily,
I was not too stupid to realize this wasmy cue to leave, or it
could have been REALLY awkward..lol.
She then asked me to take her trash out for her on my way out.
Now, I didn't mind doing it, that isn't the point. I did kind
of feel a little foolish, though, for being so way off base as
to what I thought the evening might be, and what it turned out
to be. So, I am left to wonder...is cuddling not as big a thing
as I thought it was, or is there just something wrong with me?(You
people that know me well know that I am going to naturally assume
there is something wrong with me.) Anyway...any insight would
be greatly appreciated..lol. Thanks. Have a great week, everybody.
August 5
Hey there...well, the dance was OK. I had a pretty good time
there, but, as usual, I managed to find a way to bring myself
down. There was one lady in our group that I found very attractive,
and I danced with her some, but....for her it seemed to be more
like just passing the time until something/someone better came
along. Oh well, life goes on, I reckon.
This morning I worked out at the Y for the first time. I just
rode an exercise bike and walked on the treadmill for awhile,
but I also signed up to have someone set up an exercise program
for me. It should be a good thing for me, in a couple of ways....just
the exercise will be good, and it will also be good for me to
get away from the computer. Not that I don't love you all(at
least those of you that I feel actually give a shit..lol), but
I DO need to start trying to find a life somewhere. Have a great
weekend, everyone!!!
August 4
Well...no word from Trish today, either. I hope everything is
all right. I would love to call and find out, but ours is pretty
much an online relationship, besides the actual walking part..lol.
I had an interesting day yesterday, I got to meet another friend
from online, sodapop. (Hi, soda!!!!)(I LOVED the blue nail polish..lol)
She lives pretty far away, but she and a couple of her friends
drove to Cincinnati to see the Stone Temple Pilots and the Red
Hot Chili Peppers. I like the Chilis, but I wouldn't drive across
the street to see STP if someone GAVE me a ticket...well, ok,
maybe if someone gave me the ticket I would..lol.
They had an extra ticket, as a matter of fact, and I briefly
considered buying it just so I could hang out with her longer,
but 50 bucks was a little out of my price range....
The day turned into more of an adventure than I would have liked...we
met in a bar/restaurant somehwere in Cincy, and it took me about
45 minutes longer to find it than I thought it would...by the
time I got there, we only had a short amount of time to hang
out before they had to go. So, it was great to meet her, but
just a little disappointing from that standpoint. Her friends
seemed pretty cool, too.
Tonight will be fun, I hope...I am going to another dance. Wish
me luck..lol.
August 2
Wow....is it a different month already? Time seems to be flying
this year. I was supposed to walk with Trish this morning, but
she didn't show up. So, did I walk anyway, like I know I should
have?? Fuck no. I have been having trouble motivating myself
lately...and I have this little quirk, I always seem to take
things like Trish not showing up as some sort of rejection.
I'm sure she has some valid reason for not being able to walk
this morning(and Trish, if you're reading this, I know deep down
that for some reason you just couldn't make it, and it has nothing
to do with me. Actually, I am hoping everything is ok with you)...I
am just telling you all this to show you just how fucked up I
can be...no wonder I can't attract any women..lol.
July 31
Hey everyone...I had a pretty good weekend, I hope all of you
did, too. I had a visitor over the weekend, Mindy came down from
Michigan and stayed Friday night and Saturday. I had a good time,
and she says she did, too..lol. Friday was her birthday, so I
took her out to the only bar I know in our town that has live
music, the Stony Ridge. (Gee, can you tell from the name that
it's a country bar?..lol) I danced more in the 2 hours we were
there than I did the whole evening I went to the dance..lol.
Saturday night, we just listened to cd's at my house, and we
ended up dancing some more **pats himself on the back for not
steppin' on Mindy's toes during the slow dances..lol**...I think
that's the reason I ended up losing 4 pounds last week...Of course,
maybe the walk Friday night helped, too.
July 27
I had to go help at the softball diamond last night. Now, ordinarily
I don't mind doing it, but last night, I was a buffet for bugs..lol.
Not too pleasant. I've got a couple of almost raw places already
from scratching some rash/poison ivy/chigger bite kind of deal
I've had for about a week(I'm sure you all really wanted to know
that..lol), and these little black flying things(gnats??)were
making a feast out of me.
The job does have one upside, though...pardon me for a moment
while I slip into my sexist pigpervert outfit.. ...I get to see
some girls with some SCRUMPTIOUS butts walking in and
out of the place...have mercy!!! Sorry, but the butt is
among my most very favorite parts of a woman..lol.
...July 26...
Well, I am not sure how I did it, given the amount of exercise
I have had lately, but I lost 3 pounds last week, 143 all together.
I have been delivering papers just about every night, and it
takes me so long I have been too tired to do anything else..lol.
Bro did it last night, though, so I hope that means he is feeling
better, and continues to feel better.
I walked with Trish this morning, first time I have seen her
in a couple of weeks. First, she was busy, then last week I was
doing the paper thing. I ended up walking 2.5 miles, though...I
walked a mile while I was waiting for her, and she showed up
just as I was getting ready to leave, so then I walked 1.5 miles
with her. Which was cool...it's not like I don't need the exercise,
you know? I'm just glad she got there before I left, I would
have hated to miss her.
We need to get ready for the
big 6.2 miles diabetes walk, anyway. Trish is going to walk with
me, and my friend Gina may be doing it, too, if she makes it
to town that weekend. I may be crawling by the end of it, but
I am determined to walk the whole 10k.
...July 21...
My brother has to go back to the doctor today. I hope he gets
good news. He said he is feeling better, so presumably that is
a good sign. I know one thing, running his paper route is severely
cutting into my computer time..lol. I know, what a selfish thing
to say...so, the truth comes out and you all see what a self-centered
bastard I really am..lol.
We had a support group meeting last night. I didn't go for a
change. I am always curious to see how everyone is doing, but
the main reason I would have gone is to see if Brenda was there.
I hope everything works out for her, but she obviously doesn't
care
about staying in touch with me, though, so....fuck it. You know?
...July 19...
Sorry I have been out of the loop. My brother is still having
some trouble. He was in the hospital again for a few days. He
is out now, but just yesterday he had to go back to the dr and
his heart is still out of rhythm, so the dr told him to double
up on the medication. Hopefully, once he gets enough of the stuff
in his system, it will do the job controlling his heart rhythm.
On a strictly personal note, I had an awesome(but exhausting)
weekend... Saturday afternoon, I had to put the Sunday newspapers
together, and then I went to a dance. I
thought about not going and just getting some sleep, but what
fun would that be?..lol
I finished the papers at 6, took a shower, and headed towrds
Cincinnati, where I got my groove on until about 1 am. Then,
I came back and helped deliver newspapers. Woo-hoo!!! The dance
was cool...some really nice ladies there. I did the "dorky
white guy" to about 12-15 songs and they didn't laugh at
me. I also got ina couple of slow dances and didn't step on any
toes, so it was a great night..lol.
Sunday...words can't really describe, but I will try to keep
it brief. The Atlanta Rhythm Section...a band maybe unknown to
most of you, but they have long been one of my all-time favorite
bands, and I really regretted not having had a chance to see
them live. I
got the chance Sunday at a dinky little park festival in a suburb
of Cincinnati. I felt kind of sorry for them, because there weren't
a lot of people there.
But, it was great for me because I got to sit there about 20
feet from the stage and see them great and hear them greater
:-)
I got to meet them too. Great guys as well as being fantastic
musicians. Just to tell you how into this band I am...towrd the
end of their set, some chicks got up and started dancing(a couple
of them were pretty good looking, too), and I watched the band
instead of the girls...suprised the hell out of me..lol.
hey everyone,
I lost FIVE POUNDS last week!!! Giving me a grand total of(drum
roll......) 140 pounds lost..hot damn!!
Thanks for your support and encouragement :-)
...July 11...
hey all, sorry for not updating
yesterday...my mind was in a fog most of the day. I lost 3 pounds
last week, 135 all together. woo-hoo!!!!!
My apologies if this offends anyone. I am considering walking
in another walk-a-thon on Oct 8. This one is for diabetes, and
I sort of care about this cause, so I would like to raise some
money for them. I would appreciate it if you would consider pledging
some money for me to walk 6.5 miles. Thanks. If not, that's cool
too.
... July 8...
I had a bit of a scare regarding my older brother yesterday.
He has had trouble with his heart for awhile, now, something
called cardiomyopathy. Yesterday he wound up in the hospital
with atrial fibrillation, some kind of irregular heartbeat thingy...I
think the top half of the heart beats too fast, but I am not
positive about that. Anyway...they wanted to shock his heart
to try to get it back to normal rhythm, but he was afraid to
let them do that, so they tried some pills. Apparently, they
worked, because he got to come home this morning.
...July 4...
Happy July 4th, everyone!! I am writing this a day early, because
unless there is some kind of strange
alignment of the planets, I will not have any internet access
on the 4th..lol. I hope everyone has fun today, or had fun, depending
on when you read this. I also hope you have or had a safe day,
and that no one loses or lost any eyes or fingers or various
other body parts..lol. I may have mentioned that I haven't seen
any fireworks for at least 10 years...at this point, I don't
know yet if I will, or if I will just stay home and watch a movie(I
rented American Pie, a nice, all-American title). Stay tuned
for details..lol. I went to the YMCA today to see about getting
a membership...I thought since I don't walk as much as I should,
I should be more well-rounded and have a chance to skip other
kinds of workouts, too..lol. On a personal note, I DID get my
check today, and mom got her pension check...all is right with
the world. Have a great day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!!!!! **re-reads
what he has written** Hey, do you think I use "lol"
too much?..lol. write me, nortonsavage@yahoo.com to voice your
opinion.
...July 3...
Well, the big weigh-in....I didn't lose any last week, which
I half-way expected. The good news is, I didn't gain any, either..lol.
I still haven't heard anything from Brenda, but I did talk to
her mother yesterday. She tells me that Brenda has lost 47 pounds.
As of what day that is, I am not sure, but...WAY TO GO, BRENDA!!!
I hope everything else is going as good as the weight loss. Keep
up the good work :-) I don't really have much else to say right
now...a very rare occurence for me, indeed..lol.
...July 2...
Happy July 2nd, everybody!!!! No, there is really nothing special
about the 2nd of July. The 4th just
gets so much promotion that I feel sorry for the other days at
the beginning of the month... There's really not much going on...I
am just incredibly bored, so I thought I would share it all with
you..lol. I have things that I COULD be doing, like cutting the
grass, but that just doesn't sound like any fun at all..lol.
I am SO not looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow.
I have barely done any walking this week. I walked a couple of
times w/Trish, but my "new walking partner" stood me
up every time we were supposed to get together. The bottom line
is, it's my fault. I can't rely on someone else to motivate me
to do something that I know I have to do, and SHOULD be doing
for my own good. So, take care all, I am going to go walk, or
cut the grass, or both..lol. Oh, and keep your fingers crossed
that my disability check that comes on the 3rd didn't get lost
in the mail(yes, you can get disability just for being a fat
bastard. Who knew?? I am hoping that I will not have to rely
on it for much longer.) ...Alice's pension check is about 3 days
late now, and the only reason we can figure is the change of
address.
...June 30...
Well, it is 2 days after Alice's birthday (she says thanks for
the greetings, Marsha, Maria and Karen!)
and I am still alive. There had been some question in my mind
whether I would be or not, because I signed the card, "I
hope your 70th is a great one!" (she is only 56..lol) She
knew I was only kidding, but I said, "Well, you feel like
you're 70, right?" "Yeah..."
"Well, there ya go!"..lol I walked with Trish this
morning. It was good to see her. We walked Wednesday night, but
I had to cut it short, so this was the first good long walk I
have had this week. I have been in a little bit of a funk this
week, and it has been harder than usual to motivate myself to
walk. Maybe I should try walking myself out of those funks (jee,
you really think so, Marty??? DUH!! you fucking moron!!!..lol).
**musing on a cooler than expected summer day** How do you comfort
someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one? I did the best
I could...a needed hug. Throw out the standard cliches..."It'll
be ok"...."It'll get easier, it just takes some time"..."Hang
in there". I say, "You have my number if you need to
talk. I don't know how much help I can be, but I will be happy
to listen to you." So....I hope I
did some good. I think I did, but I just feel so useless when
it comes to offering someone consolation.
...June 28...
Today is Alice's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!!!! I wasn't able
to get her a present, but I got her a card last night, and left
it out for her to find this morning. She laughed at the fact
that it said, "I hope your 70th is a good one!"...I
hope she is not secretly planning to kill me..lol. Wiz, as far
as my "new fashion style"...I really have no idea.
I have never been much into clothes, I have always preferred
to wear jeans and sweats, etc. I havea feeling that I will actually
be wanting to run around naked as much as possible, so I may
not buy ANY new clothes...lol.
...June 27...
Ch-ch-changes(turn and face the strange, indeed)...OK...this
is going to really shock a lot of you. The last new pair of sweatpants
that I bought before I had the surgery was a size 8X. Right at
this very moment, I am wearing as shorts a pair of 3X ladies'
sweats that I cut off..lol. It is such a strange(but awesome)
feeling to have clothes that are too big for me to wear..lol.
The 8X sweats I still wear for the time being...they are way
baggy, but I don't have a lot of options. I don't want to(actually,
I don't really have it to)spend a lot of money on clothing until
this is all over with. I gave a couple shirts to my uncle Rick,
though, because I just feel like I am swimming in them now..lol.
...June 26...
Another Monday, another weigh-in, another 4 pounds lost, ho-hum...lol.
That makes 132, for the record. I have lost a person. Now, I
need to lose one more, and I will be OK..lol.
More ch-ch-ch-changes...whenever I used to go to the store or
something, I would spend forever driving around the parking lot,
looking for a spot close to the door. I would even use my mom's
parking pass to park in a handicapped spot. I am not proud of
it, but I couldn't walk 10 or 20 feet without getting out of
breath.
Now...I still try to park close to the door sometimes. I think
everyone is lazy to a certain extent. But, it doesn't matter
so much anymore, and at least half the time I park as far away
from the door as I can, just so I can get some extra walking
in. I think that is a tremendous change for the better.
Random thought...a guy at the support group meeting (he's lost
75 pounds in 6 weeks!!) said his doctor was so incenesed that
he had decided to have the surgery that the doctor dropped him
as a patient!! What's the deal, do doctors WANT to keep their
patients in ill health so they can milk more money from them
or the insurance companies??
...June 24...
Let's see...what's been going on??? Thursday night, I went to
the monthly support group meeting. By and large, these things
have been a waste of time. I mean, it's really cool to see everyone
and hear how they are doing, but the presentations they have
been having have, quite frankly, sucked.
This time, Dr. Fallang talked about the various skin removal
procedures they have to do after the bypass patients lose their
weight, so it was actually pretty interesting. I wish I was at
the stage where I was ready to have my surgery, but they like
to wait at least 9-12 months after the bypass surgery, he said.
I was hoping to see Brenda there, so I could find out how she
is doing since her surgery. I haven't seen or heard from her
since the day she called me and told me she was married. She
said we could still be friends, but apparently she meant fuck
off and die, which is what 2 of my lady friends say a woman usually
means when she says that..lol.
Oh well....she had told me I was her inspiration to have the
operation, I just wanted to keep tabs on her and see that she
was doing OK. I hope everything is going well for her, with the
surgery and the marriage.
...June 20...
I thought I would take a few minutes to talk about some of the
changes I have been going through. Good changes, from my point
of view, and things that a normal person might take for granted...
Like, just being able to go somewhere, like a restaurant, and
not be concerned with what kind of chairs they have. For so many
years now, whenever we go out to eat someplace, I have had to
make sure it was a place that had at some chairs available with
no arms on them. My ass was just too big for me to sit in chairs
like that, let alone think about being
comfortable sitting in them.
Even Dr. Fallang's office...he is the dr. that did my surgery.
You would think that at an office where a good portion of the
patients they deal with are "morbidly obese", they
would have given some thought to the seating in the waiting room....but
I was wrong..lol. The first time I went there, I could sit, but
it was tight and I was by no means comfortable. It's an awesome
feeling to go there now and just be able to slide right into
one of those bad boys and relax..lol.
So, anyway....some feedback, please....would anyone be interested
in knowing about that sort of thing, or is it just a little too
much rambling about something completely boring for your taste?
E-mail me, nortonsavage@yahoo.com and let me know. Thanks!!
...June 19...
I hope everyone had a good weekend. I forgot yesterday to talk
about the cookout we had Saturday. It was a combined birthday
party for Alice and Tracie(my sister). Happy Birthday, you two!!!!
I had a good time, it was fairly uneventful except for the basketball
game we played. Me and my younger brother(Matt)against my older
brother(Bill)and my brother-in-law(George). So, there was a fat
guy on each team, although Bill is not quite as big as I am...
but if he keeps gaining, we will be even soon..lol. Matt is overweight,
too, but not nearly as much. He just lost a bunch of weight on
the Atkins diet.
I'm sure if anyone had been around to see, they would have gotten
a big kick out of seeing me and Bill(me especially)trying to
run around out there. I am sure I was stomping around the driveway
with all the grace of a pregnant water buffalo..lol.
Details of the game...well, I don't really remember. I do know
that me and Matt lost, 7-6, and I tried to stop George's game-winning
dunk by putting my elbow in his face, but it didn't work..lol.
Oh, well...I am quite used to losing..lol. A good time was had
by all, that's the important thing.
I weighed in Monday morning. I lost 3 more pounds last week,
128 altogether. 3 must be my magic number right now..lol. That's
OK, as long as it keeps coming off.
...June 18...
If there are any fathers reading
this, Happy Father's Day!!! I KNOW there are some daughters reading
this (maybe some sons, too...honestly, most of the people that
I am sure read on a regular basis are women...and I like it that
way..lol), so tell your dads Marty says, "Happy Father's
Day!!!" It doesn't matter that they don't know who the hell
Marty is..lol.
Happy Father's Day...that's one thing that at this point I think
it is pretty safe to say I will never hear. Now, whether I would
WANT to hear it someday is a matter that is still open for debate
in my mind. I can honestly say I don't think I have the patience
it would take to be a good father. I would probably be the poster
boy for bad parenting..lol. ("Sure son, go
ahead and play in the street..." LOL) But still...I get
a little misty-eyed at the idea of a little Marty running around..lol.
...June 15...
Well, it turns out that I am not going to see Donna again, but,
like I said, that's ok..lol. I want to clarify this whole "slut"
thing, if I can. I guess that wasn't really the right way to
put it, so I am going to give it another shot.
Most people do the "dating" thing when they are in
their teens or early 20's. By the time they get to be my age,
(now, I am making assumptions here, I don't know this for a fact..lol)
presumably, they have a good idea what they are looking for in
a life partner. I haven't had that opportunity...I have only
really dated 4 women, and the first was 1 date about 16 years
ago, so that don't really count..lol. The second was only 1 date,
too, but it lasted about 3 days...so I am not sure whether it
counts or not..lol.
When I do settle down, I want it to be "the one". I
don't want to be the kind of guy that winds up cheating on his
wife...and the only way I know to
figure out what I want is to get out and date some different
women. (Of course, this is assuming that I have the opportunity
to date different women..lol.) I hope that makes some sort of
sense to everyone, and that I am not just full of shit. You are
welcome to e-mail me (nortonsavage@yahoo.com) and give me your
take..lol.
Speaking of dating, though...I went out with Pam again. We did
some more drinking and dancing, and had a real good time. I got
to meet a couple of her friends, too...they were a little on
the wild side, but not too wild..lol. I liked them. I think I
managed to avoid stepping on Pam's toes this time, I forgot to
ask her for sure. If I did, it was a step in the right direction..lol.
June 12
First off, Happy Birthday, Maria!! Happy Birthday, Chuck!! Boy,
I feel like a real 1st class bastard for forgetting about it,
sorry. It was a fairly uneventful weekend(big surprise, huh?)
Thursday was pretty good, I met a lady named Donna, who was very
pretty, and sweet and caring. We may see each other again, which
would be great, or not, which would be ok, too. She is not looking
for a boyfriend at the moment, and I am not really looking for
a girlfriend, yet...I want to be a slut for awhile..lol.
Not much else is going on. Me and Alice
are pretty much officially trailer trash. All that's left is
for the garage to be cleaned out at the old place, and some dude
with a truck is working on that as I type..lol. I am going to
go out and put some job applications in this week...it's going
to be so weird if I get a job...I haven't worked in about 7 years,
unless you count the 3 days I spent as a telemarketer, then it's
only been 6 years..lol. Wish me luck!!
...June 6...
With all due respect to the veterans of WWII, the big one, yesterday
was my D-Day...I got to meet another lady I have been chatting
online with..lol. I must say, I don't get nearly as petrified
as I used to. I was actually pretty calm last night, and it would
have
been needless worry anyway...Pam turned out to be a very nice,
sweet(and pretty) lady.
I was under the impression that it was her birthday (it actually
turns out that today is, Happy Birthday, Pam!!!) and I wanted
to surprise her with something. Not knowing her very well, I
reasoned that no woman can resist flowers and chocolate, so I
took her some
carnations and a Hershey bar..lol.
We hung out at a bar that my parents used to take us to every
once in a while when I was a kid(how many other kids can say
they used to go bar-hopping with their mom and dad?..lol), but
I hadn't been there in about 15 years.
We sat and talked for a while, and drank, and kept drinking,
and talking some, and drinking some more, and after the band
started playing and some more drinking, I even danced with her..lol.
I am sure that I was doing the epitome of the "dorky white
guy" dance on the fast songs, and I am also sure that I
stepped on her toes a few times during the slow ones(I have 3
left feet..lol), but I had a really good time, and I think she
did, too.
...June 5...
Today was the day....I lost 4 pounds last week, 122 all together.
I weighed in at 350 right on the nose!!! So, as soon as I can
get this new pic scanned, it will be winging it's way to be posted...
Saturday was my sister's birthday (Happy Birthday, Tracie!!)
and my bro's anniversary (Happy Anniversary, Bill and Becky!!!)
We won't be celebrating the birthday until next week, when Tracie
gets back from her trip to S.Carolina (or N. Carolina, we never
decided for sure which state Raleigh was in before she left..lol.
I hope the pilot knows..lol).
It was a pretty uneventful weekend, besides that. I did manage
to make myself walk both days, something that has been increasingly
harder to do, slacker bastard that I am. The only days I actually
look forward to walking are my Wednesday nights with Trish. I
wish I could find someone else to walk with.
I am meeting a woman tonight, I hope that goes well, although
I must say she has already thrown the "f" word at me...friends..lol.
No matter...I always say you can never have too many friends.
OK, so I wasn't
the first to say it, big deal..lol.
...June 1...
Well, I made it through yesterday... I had a couple moments where
my eyes teared up and I got a little lump in my throat, but I
didn't break down and start sobbing, so that's a good thing..lol.
I saw Trish again last night. I met Trish a few weeks ago, we
get together once a week and walk. I always feel better afterwards,
not just from having got some exercise(which I agree is a good
thing..lol), but because I enjoy spending time with her.
She is a very sweet woman, very supportive and encouraging, and
she seems to enjoy listening to me talk. As you all may have
guessed by now, even though I spend a lot of time proclaiming
how shy I am, if I am with someone I feel comfortable with, I
can ramble for a good long time about nothing important..lol.
We are in the last phases of cleaning up the old place...man,
you can acquire a lot of shit over the course of 18 years..lol.
Me and Alice have been staying in the trailer, but I won't officially
consider us "trash" until we turn over the house keys
to the landlord..lol.
...May 31...
Today would have been my dad's 60th birthday. I could get all
mushy and tell you what a great guy he was, and maybe someday
I will. For now, let me just say, "I love you, Dad, Happy
Birthday." In his honor, these are some words from his two
favorite songs:
"Like a bird without
a nest
Like a stranger in the night
And my soul cries out for rest
And the end is not in sight"
"The End Is Not In Sight" - The Amazing Rhythm Aces
"Someday, when we meet
up yonder
We'll stroll hand in hand again
In a land that knows no parting
Blue eyes crying in the rain"
"Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain" - Willie Nelson
...May 22...
Wow...what a crappy fucking weekend. Friday was the anniversary
of my dad's death, and I always get kinda bummed out around this
time, up until after the end of the month, which is his birthday.
There are other things, I won't bore you with all the details...let's
just say they involve what could be jokingly called my love life
(or, more apropos, my lack of a love life).
I did get to have a little bit of fun, it was the final weekend
of performances of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown!",
a musical based on the Peanuts comic strip, a show I played bass
for.
It was one of the few shows I've done I have actually liked,
I guess because I relate so much to Charlie Brown. In particular,
the scene where CB muses to himself about why the little red
haired girl never looks at him ("She'd probably laugh in
my face. It's hard on a face when it gets laughed in.").
I can dig it, Chuck. The show also gave me a chance to work again
with Bruce, who used to sing in the band I'm in...he did a real
good job as Charlie Brown. I also have to give a special mention
to the girl who played Lucy, a very cute, beautiful voiced college-freshman-aged-or-so
young lady named Kristen. If only I were 15 years younger......she
still wouldn't look at me, right Charlie Brown?..lol
Anyway, I made it through the weekend, and I thought things were
going to get a little better when I weighed in and I had lost
5 pounds last week (115!!!) Then I found out the reason I haven't
heard from Brenda in over a week is that she ran off and got
married.
OK....I know I don't have any room to bitch about it...after
all, I was the one who only wanted to be friends. I guess I thought
we would still be able to see each other casually for a while,
and still be able to share those great hugs every once in a while
(the hugs she always claimed to miss when we didn't see each
other for a few days.) Just not meant to be, I guess. I don't
think she really intended to hurt me, but let's just say intentional
or not, she got me back for any pain I caused her when I told
her I just wanted to be friends. So, now that we're even, maybe
we WILL be friends, if she wants to. I think it might be hard
for me for awhile, but I'll get over it, and I hope she'll be
happy with Howie. I really mean that, Brenda, you deserve to
be happy. Jeez...I didn't know I was going to write a fucking
book. Talk to y'all later.
...May 17...
Well...it's been a while since I put pen to paper for the journal,
so, let's correct that, shall we? By the way, yes, I am too stupid
to figure out what the computer age equivalent of "pen to
paper" is, and I know it, so get off my freakin' back..lol.
Monday, as everyone knows, was weigh-in day. I didn't have my
hopes up too high, because the week before I did my usual "walk
4 days" bit and I didn't lose anything...that was including
the day I walked 3 miles, too..lol. So, it was very hard to motivate
myself to walk last week...I didn't hardly do any. Anyway...I
lost 6 pounds last week, 110 all together!! So, this week I am
walking again, inhopes of keeping it going..lol.
The other big news is that I got a job working as an enumerator
for the census. So, as much as I hate to talk to people, I now
not only have to talk to them, but I also have to ask them a
lot of questions that they are going to feel are none of my business..lol.
But, hey...for $13.25 an hour, I'll ask anyone anything..lol.
I have been going through training the last 3 days, and I should
get my assignment soon. The job is only going to last 3 weeks
or so, but it will be nice to be among the working for awhile.
A couple comments to specific people...Gina, I am so looking
forward to your visit, mostly with great excitement and anticipation,
but also with a little bit of fear, I have told you that..lol.
Wiz, I am glad to hear your dad is improving...you and him are
both
in my thoughts daily. You have been a wonderful friend to me,
and I was so touched to find out he asks how I am doing. I bet
he is a great guy, and I hope he is home soon :-)
...May 9...
Well, I haven't been much in a writing mood lately, but here
goes...Saturday, I walked in the Walk for Life, a fund raiser
for the Community Pregnancy Center. I would be lying if I said
I cared anything about the cause, I just wanted an excuse to
try and walk 3 miles. I did the whole distance without stopping,
so I was very proud of myself.
Later that day, me and Alice went to a cookout at Brenda's house
to celebrate Brenda's sister's birthday (Happy Birthday, Linda!!)
Brenda hasn't been walking too much, but I persuaded her to go
for a little walk with me, about a half mile. I told her I would
give her a week or 2 to get used to working again, then I was
going to start being a hard-ass about getting her to walk. She
is doing well, weight-wise, she has lost 22 pounds. Keep up the
great work, Brenda!
My own weigh-in day, well, I wasn't too damn happy about. I didn't
lose anything last week, so I am still at 104 pounds lost. It
is pretty discouraging to get on the scale after a week in which
you felt you did just about everything you were supposed to and
didn't lose anything, but...I know I have to realize that there
are going to be weeks like that, and not let it get me down.
At least I didn't gain anything, I should look at the bright
side :-)
I had my brother stop by and buzz all my hair off, it's about
1/8 of an inch long now....I look like a fat Andre Agassi, which
isn't a bad thing, women think he's hot...lmao. Alice didn't
even notice it until she saw all the hair that was formerly on
my head lying on the porch..lol.
...May 2...
Things are moving right along for me and Alice in the journey
to being trailer trash..lol. We got the title recorded today,
all we need is the keys and we can start moving in. I hope we
do better than I did today...in the process of moving stuff out,
I fell down the steps..lol. I wasn't hurt, except for bruising
my dignity and bending my glasses, and since I have no dignity,
the glasses are the only problem..lol.
I did get some more good news from the doc, though, my blood
pressure was 120/70. That's the lowest I can ever remember it
being. She cut my meds down again...maybe I really will be off
the medication altogether some day...that would be great!!!
...May 1...
OK, first things first -- after a few weeks of losing 5 pounds
a week, and coming out of last week's weigh-in needing 2 pounds
to make it to 100, and it seeming to take forever, and thinking
I was NEVER going to get there...I lost 6 pounds last week, for
a total of 104!!! Hot damn!!! I am doing sooooo great!!! **pats
himself on the back**
Let's see, the weekend...Saturday night, went to see 28 Days
w/Brenda. The weather was great all weekend, so I wore shorts.
I even went into the store...first time I have worn shorts out
in public in a very long time..lol. And, oh yeah, the movie was
pretty good.
Sunday, we hung out in the park for a while and then walked.
I let Brenda set the pace, big mistake..lol. I figured since
I had a month on her, I would have no trouble keeping up, but
she almost walked me into the ground..lol. We also ate, both
of us, twice, for less than $6 total...man, before I had the
surgery, I could spend 8 bucks for one meal at McDonald's easy..lol.
I had her take a few pics of me in anticipation of hitting the
100 pound mark. I got her to take one of my butt, too, since
she made the comment that it was getting smaller...thought I
might as well keep track of THAT, too..lol.
...April 27...
Glad to see that the wiz got her internet connection all straightened
out...thanks, Maria, for all the time and work you put into this.
I had hoped to have a new pic for posting today, but I only lost
1 of the 2 pounds I needed to, so we will have to wait until
Monday to take a pic...which is ok, I still don't like being
in front of the camera yet..lol.
I walked 3 miles yesterday, so I am kinda sore today. I am sort
of in training...there is something coming up called Walk For
Life, a 3 mile walk to raise money for something or other...I
am not so much interested in the
cause as I am just the motivation to walk 3 miles, and I don't
want to get out there and have everybody waiting around for me
to finish..lol. It would be nice to raise some money for a good
cause, though, so if any one out there wants to sponsor me, contact
me at nortonsavage@yahoo.com (shameless plea for money)
...April 24...
Hey everyone. Happy Easter, a day late!! I hope everyone had
a great day, whether you celebrate Easter or not. On with the
show.....
Friday, I went down to Cincinatti and hung out with Brenda. We
colored Easter eggs...you know, it wasn't as much fun for me
as it was when I was 5 years old, but it was a surprisingly good
time..lol. We made a visit to Kate, who has also had the surgery,
back in August, I believe, and is doing wonderfully. Kate is
a real Renaissance woman..lol, she makes her own soaps and pot
pourri, she grows her own herbs,(she doesn't have a big ol' TV
dominating her living room like most of the people I know, but
I won't hold that against her..lol) but the important thing is
she is just a super nice lady. She gave Brenda 4 bags of her
old clothes to wear if she liked (I kept a few of the
pairs of sweatpants...I can't quite wear them yet, but it's only
a matter of time...). Thanks, Kate. When we got back to Brenda's
house, we walked a little and sat and talked for quite a bit...I
had a real nice time.
Saturday wasn't quite so eventful...I walked a mile in the morning,
went to the computer center and chatted for awhile, went home,
was bored out of my f*%king skull, and went and walked 2 more
miles..lol. WOO-HOO!! DAMN, I know how to have a good time...lmao.
Sunday was Easter, as everyone knows. I went to church, then
had the option of going to my sister-in-law's brother's house
for dinner, or staying home alone, because Alice was spending
the day with my sister. So, I tagged along with bro and his wife,
and got to eat some ham and turkey (oh my, I'm a having a food-related
moment, please forgive me..lol). It was cool, I didn't have any
problems with it, I even had a very, very small piece (one bite,
actually) of carrot cake. Then, we played a women vs. the men
(6 women
againt 3 men) game of Trivial Pursuit that turned into a marathon...I
think it took about 3 hours to finish the damn thing..lol. And
the women WON!!!! GRRRRRR!!!! Oh well, it was still a good day..lol.
Monday was (duh-du-DUUUUHHHHHH!!!!!) weigh-in day. I lost 5 pounds
again, giving me a total of 98 pounds in 12 weeks. Which means,
hopefully by next Monday I will have hit 100 pounds and will
have had to take a new pic..lol. Later.
...April 20...
It looks like me and Alice are going to be moving, I think. If
everything goes as planned, soon we will be trailer trash..lol.
We are all surprised that Alice would actually even consider
moving into a trailer, because bad weather scares the hell out
of her, and
everyone knows God(and tornadoes) hate trailer parks..lol. She
said when we looked at it, it felt like she was home, though,
so keep your fingers crossed that things work out :-)
...April 19...
I had another visit with the doctor yesterday...I got some really
good news on a couple of fronts. My blood pressure was 130/82,
the lowest I can ever remember it being. She cut my meds down
again, and said that I could be off them all together in 6 months
or so. She also had results of the bloodwork I had done...my
potassium and kidney function tests came back good, and there
was a test they give diabetics, the HBA1C, it's an average of
your blood glucose for the past month or so...she said they like
for it to be 7 or less, and mine was 5.5, which means(according
to the doc)that my body is functioning basically like I am not
diabetic. So, I thought that was really awesome!!..lol. I just
need to keep up the good work...I will be a lean, mean sex machine
in no time....lmao!!!!!
...April 17...
Well...I walked my ass off this weekend!! (Ahhh...if only that
were true....the real scoop is, Marty still got plenty of back..lol).
We had my birthday cookout yesterday, it was a lot of fun. I
got some cool presents, Brenda got me a book about drawing I
have been wanting, my mother-in-law and her husband(my dad...don't
ask..lol) got me some spiffy new sweats, my bro and his wife
got me monet(that ALWAYS fits..lol), but the best thing was we
were all together, even if I do feel somewhat like the black
sheep of the family now. Everyone seems to be getting heavy into
religion, except me, so I felt a little out if place, especially
since most of the talked seemed to center around that subject.
I got some exciting news when I got home, though...Gina is coming
to visit in May!!! We have chatted for about a year and a half
or so, online and on the phone, so it will be great to finally
meet her in person(I would be lying if I said I am not a little
nervous, too, but she has been a really great friend to be. I
think it's going to be cool.) Karen said I should make sure I
mentioned the mood I was in today, so...I am in a mood today....I
have been for the last week or so. I thought it would be over
by now, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe if I stay away from everyone
and everything for a few days
(weeks, months, whatever it takes..lol), it will go away...
...April 15...
Just a reminder to everyone, I hope you all got your taxes filed..lol.
**sings** Oh, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful
day for a neighbor.... Awesome weather here the last couple days,
and I took adavantage of it by doing quite a bit of walking.
Friday night, I went out to the bar looking for my friends Bud
and Vanessa again, but they were nowhere to be seen...so I came
home and walked another mile. WOO-HOO!!!! Do I know how to party,
or what?!?!
...April 14...
Well, it has been a weird week. I have almost made it through
without killing myself or someone else, though, so things are
definitely looking up..lol. I can't really explain what's been
going on...I have just been thinking a lot about certain people
in my life, past and present. And a lot of it is good...but some
of it made me very sad, too. I think next year I am going to
just avoid having a birthday, (feel free to still send presents,
though...)
I got some really nice e-greetings (thank you Karen and Brenda
and Kelly) and yesterday I got my first actual card, and a gift,
too (thanks, Gina...you were much too kind to me..lol). Thanks
everyone for caring. I am not always sure I deserve it.
...April 10...
Today was a double whammy, weigh-in day AND my birthday. I lost
5 pounds last week, so my total is up to 88 pounds, I am pretty
happy about that. As for the birthday, well, I wish I could say
it was a good day, but it really wasn't.
I haven't done much "walking just for the sake of walking"
walking lately, so I thought today would be a good day to start
again. I was hoping it would help me clear my head...from that
perspective, it wasn't a success. It was good to get out and
get some air, though...I even tacked on an extra lap at the track.
I think I am going to stop here...I feel kind of out of it and
like I am rambling (which is actually nothing new, for me..lol).
To the people reading this, thanks for caring.
...April 9....
Went to visit Brenda yesterday. She is looking better, and starting
to get around some. We were going to walk around the block, but
it was too cold to walk outside, we didn't want her to get sick.
Thinking about tomorrow, it's my birthday. Like just about everyone
else, I guess, I get a little saddened by the realization that
time is passing right on by... but, at the same time, I am in
better shape than I was last year at this time, so I have to
be happy about that :-)
...April 6...
Brenda got to go home today. I was a little concerned because
she didn't seem to be doing too well with the breathing exercises
you have to do after surgery. I guess she was doing well enough,
though, that's the important thing. She is past the first stage,
now all the hard work is up to her...
...April 4...
Brenda had her surgery today...she is in some pain, but she was
resting comfortably when I left at 8 PM. All day long I have
been having flashbacks to the day. I had my operation...I can
honestly say, "I feel her pain"..lol
She was talking big before hand about how they were going to
have to tie her to the bed to keep her from running the halls.
That wasn't quite the reality, but I told her to be ready to
get roaming tomorrow. She was quite the slave driver after I
had my surgery, for
which I am grateful, and I hope I am up to the task of returning
the favor..lol.
I am really glad she is ok...since I am her "inspiration",
I would have felt terrible if something had happened to her.
(I know, she is an adult and she knew the risks...I still would
have felt somewhat responsible...so sue me..lol)
...April 3...
Today, I faced the dreaded scale. I lost 4.5 pounds last week.
Considering I was back up a pound when I weighed Thursday, I'll
take it. I'm not sure why, but I'm in kind of a blue mood today.
I guess I'll get over it, I always do.
...April 1...
Wow...I lost 40 pounds last week!!!! Gotcha!!! Happy April Fool's
Day..lol. I wish I could say I had lost that much and mean it..lol.
Happy Birthday, Donnie!! (drummer for the now-defunct Knadz,
and my current , but seemingly defunct judging by our lack of
gigs band, The Mainstreet Exchange) Also, a late Happy Birthday
to Maria's MaMa!!!
Let's see, what's going on...not very damn much. I have been
kind of a slacker this week in the walking department, I'm not
sure why. I just haven't had much motivation to get out and do
it this week, and consequently I don't think I am going to be
too damn happy come weigh-in Monday :-(
I may change my walking plan of attack. Instead of worrying about
trying to walk a mile all at once without taking a break, I may
try splitting things up into smaller walks and walk more often
throughout the course of the day.
Had a cool day Thursday...Brenda is preparing to have the same
surgery I had, and she had her pre-op tests Thursday. Then, her
and her parents and me and Alice (my mom) went out to lunch.
I had some steak!!!! It was chopped steak, but I'll take what
I can get..lol.
Then, we went to play miniature golf...as usual, I lost..lol.
Brenda's mom won the first game, and Brenda won the second...oh
well, it's good that I have a lot of practice at being a loser..lol.
Friday was fun, it was poker night. I ate more things I probably
shouldn't have(another reason I may not be too thrilled Monday),
and although it is nice to experiment a little, they were things
I can't make a habit of eating, like peanuts and other non-nutrititious
snack-type foods. Had a couple drinks, too (strawberry-pina colada
daiquiris, WOO-HOO!!!) On the down side, I lost about 20 bucks(bummer),
but that's not a bad price for 7 or 8 hours of fun.
I'd like to take a moment to give a shout out to my poker-playing
buddies....hey Bob, Bob Sr., Steve R., Keith, Mark, and Steve
M.(my bro)!!! Whazzzzzuuup!!!!! Yo, yo, yo home skillets!!! (or,
as Karen might say, fry pans!!)
I'd also like to thank Maria for taking the time and the effort
to do this...it means a lot to me, thank you very much. And also
to all of you who take the time to read this, and maybe even
send in your own comments (especially like the one Karen made...you
make me blush like a schoolgirl..lol), thank you all very much,
too.
...March 29...
I had to go to the doctor yesterday. I have been a little concerned
because even though things are going great for the most part,
my blood pressure hasn't come down much yet.
The doctor changed my medication a little, but she agrees with
the surgeon, that as I lose some more weight, it will eventually
start to drop.
...March 28...
Not a lot going on yesterday(or today, so far). It's rainy and
just altogether crappy here, I may be reduced to walking at the
mall :-(
Some people have asked what my goal is...even though I would
still be considered obese by all the normal standards, I would
be damn glad to get down to 250 pounds, and see what happens
from there.
In the short term, my goal is to reach 100 pounds lost by my
birhtday, which gives me two weeks almost. April 10 is my birthday
(just a hint for all of you to send me a gift or card..lol).
Even if I don't make it to that goal, I won't be too disappointed...every
pound I
lose is a step in the right direction.
...March 27...
Yesterday was another good day. We had a cookout to celebrate
my little bro's birthday, which was on the 21th of March..lol.
It was a great day, the weather was beautiful and
almost the whole family was there, plus a few friends. And since
it was a cookout, I just couldn't resist trying some of the food
that was being passed around.
I had a couple of olives, a couple of real small potato chips,
a couple of tortilla chips (he ate everything 2 by 2, as soda
said..lol)...and I ate half of a burger w/cheese. Oh, it was
so good!!! I had to throw the other half away, or I probably
would have
eaten the whole thing..lol.
Then, of course, later, there were birthday cakes abounding.
My mom made her usual german chocolate cake, which is my bro's
favorite, Brenda made a carrot cake, which I have had before
and is very good, and another friend brought an apple crisp pie
from the church bake sale.
I didn't have any of those, I am still cautious about trying
sugary things, due to something called "dumping syndrome"...I
won't go into details, but it sounds like a pretty unpleasant
thing. Brenda made a dessert she got from Weight Watchers, though,
some kind of chocolate-custard thingy(I can't remember what it
was called)with graham crackers in it. It was delicious, too...thanks,
Brenda.
,,,March 25,,,
I had a pretty interesting, and at times, intense evening Friday.
I went to the bowling alley to shoot a couple games of pool(by
myself), but when I got there, it just didn't seem to be all
that thrilling a thing to do...I mean, I can play with myself
any time(and I frequently do)..lol. Anyway, I was restless and
didn't want to sit around the house all night, which in itself
is a big change for me. I decided to go to a little bar here
in town called Buster's...I hadn't been there since my band The
Knadz had played there, oh, maybe 8 years ago or so.(GoKnadz,
go!!) I was hoping to run into my friends Bud and Vanessa...I
have known them for a long time, since the heyday of The Knadz.
They used to come to all of our gigs, but I hadn't seen them
much lately. Here's where it gets intense...I tapped Vanessa
on the shoulder, and at first she didn't recognize me. When she
did, her face lit up, and she jumped up and gave me one of the
most amazing hugs I have ever had...she hugged me for what seemd
an eternity, not that I wanted it to end..lol.
She told me how worried they had been about me, and how glad
she was that I was doing so well...she almost cried. I am glad
she didn't, because that surely would
have got me started crying, too..lol.
We got caught up over the course of the evening, and a few Virgin
Bloody Marys for me(you people that I chat with a lot know how
appropriate a drink that is
for me..lol) because I can't have the alcohol yet. I found out
that they read the journal, too(hey Bud and Vanessa!!), which
is cool. I am always thrilled to find out people are reading
it(thank you Karen, as well, and Maria, and Gina, and Becca,
and Maggie...hell, thanks everybody..lol) Oh yeah, there was
sort of a fight, too, that was also kind of intense, but I would
rather remember the good things.... Like Bud and Vanessa's daughter
Amanda also not recognizing me..lol. And the great hugs I got
from Amanda and Vanessa(again) when it was time for me to go.
They both said they love me, and that almost choked me up again,
and sorry, Bud, but I think I almost touched Vanessa's butt...I'll
have to make sure I am more careful next time..lol. Sorry this
is so long, it was just a great night...great company, some good
tunes on the jukebox, and finding out how much someone cares
about you...damn, maybe I will cry after all..lol.
...March 24...
A friend of mine came over to take some pics for me yesterday.
I promised Maria I would send new pics when I got under 400 pounds.
Yes, I can say it now, I weighed waaaaay over 400 pounds(472
at the time of the surgery, as a matter of fact)...but that is
all behind me. I am well on the way to becoming the lean, mean
sex machine I have always dreamed of being..lol.
Anyway, my friend, Bud, said he had half expected to see my name
in the obituaries by now. Kind of a sobering thought, but I knew
exactly what he meant. I have been so fat for so long...I don't
know why it took me so long to get motivated enough to really
do something about it, but the important thing is, I have, and
things are only going to get better.
Also, when I went to the computer lab last night, an old friend
from some of my classes(hey, Jack!!!) was telling me how good
I look and how great I am doing. You know...I did this for me,
because I knew I had to do something or I was going to die, but
it is sure nice to hear some positive comments from people.
All of my online friends have been great, and incredibly supportive,
and so has my family and Brenda, but it's nice to hear something
like that from
someone who doesn't have to say it, if that makes any sense..lol.
What the hell, I don't know what I am saying half the time..lol.
...March 23...
Tuesday and Wednesday were kind of rough. Every time I ate, I
threw up. I was a little concerned, because that is a symptom
of the stoma needing to be dilated.
The stoma is the opening that goes from the stomach to the intestine...as
scar tissue forms, it can sometimes cause the stoma to contract
to a size too small for things to pass through. They have to
put a balloon in there and blow it up to dilate the opening.
Anyway, it must have just been a bug or something, because I
ate some soup last night and kept it down with no problem. It's
something I am going to keep an
eye on, though. I did find out it was probably too soon for me
to try to eat salad...I guess I will stick to cream soups for
a while longer.
...March 21...
Well, today is my younger bro's birthday, so even though he will
almost surely never see this, Happy Birthday, Matt!! You know,
sometimes I wonder if anybody is even reading this, so it is
nice to find out from people that they are. My mom's best friend
(and my friend)Marsha sent me an e-mail today...she recently
moved away, and she said that sometimes
reading this makes her feel less homesick. So, hi, Marsha!!!!!
We all miss you up here, and here's hoping we get a chance to
see you real soon!! As far as my life, not much going on there
today..lol. So, as the saying goes, "Peace!! I'm out."
...March 20...
OK, first of all, I am sorry for the passage of so much time
between entries...I believe I mentioned before that I am a slacker...if
not, then take note of It now, please..lol. All righty, then...time
to get caught up....
Thursday night was support group night, so as usual I weighed
myself just before so I could give the most updated number...I
had went down 6 pounds since Monday! The meeting itself was semi-interesting,
they had a chef there to give us tips on how to make low fat,
low calorie dishes. He was fairly entertaining, but he didn't
really tell me anything I didn't already know from the many cooking
shows I watch..lol.
I also had my 6 week post-op visit w/ the doctor on Thursday.
He is very pleased with my progress(so am I!!)...the only area
that hasn't shown a major improvement is my blood pressure, it
hasn't really started to come down yet, but it is expected that
it will.
Friday night, I lost 2 out of 3 games of pool to Brenda...it
is such a good thing that I am secure in my manhood, since she
has beaten me at just about severything we do..lol.
Sunday, we went to church, as usual, and then out to eat(also
as usual).**special note for the squeamish: the following part
may be a little gross** I had a salad for a change...it was delicious!!
Unfortunately, it came back up, which means I am either not ready
yet for salad, or I just ate too fast, which is the explanation
I am leaning towards. It was great tasting the cheese and tomatoes
and ranch dressing, though!!
Monday, weigh in day again...I have to admit, I was a little
concerned, mainly because I didn't walk much Sunday. Great news,
though...I lost 9 more pounds since Thursday, giving me a grand
total of 67 pounds lost in 7 weeks!!! I should note, that is
just since the surgery...at the doctor's office, they have on
my chart my weight when I first contacted them, which was 11
pounds more than what I weighed before the operation...Brenda
says I should count those, too, but it feels like cheating to
me..lol.
...March 16...
It was sprinkling today, so I was faced with the rather dreary
prospect of walking at the mall. I hate to walk at the mall,
there are too many people there for one thing. Another thing
is everyone has a different opinion of how many times you have
to go
around to make a mile.
Luckily, I passed by the track of the local high school and saw
2 people walking there, so I just decided to say "damn,
the rain, full speed ahead"..lol Besides, that way I would
know exactly how far I walked instead of just guesstimating,
although when I have
said before that I walked a mile, I am pretty sure that was a
fairly close estimate.
The big thing is, I did the mile (exactly a mile) without stopping!!!
Just 6 weeks ago, I couldn't walk to the bathroom without getting
out of breath...it just blows me away. When I DO have to stop
and rest now, it is usually not from being out of breath, but
because my back or my legs hurt...I don't ever really get to
gasping for breath unless I am walking uphill or going up stairs.
I think that is an amzing improvement, and it is only going to
get better.
...March 15...
Beautiful day here in corn country...once again, I went for an
early morning walk, at the park. The squirrels were out in abundance...I
kept having flashbacks to an episode of The Simpsons I saw last
night where Homer went into the bushes and when he came out he
had critters all over, biting him..lol.
One of the things I am not sure I like about walking (besides
the actual walking itself..lol), is thatbeing out there walking
alone in the quiet gives me an awful lot of time to think.
I try to think positive thoughts mostly..that is the kind of
person I am working towards being...and a lot of them are...I
was thinking how it is nice getting a smile and a hello from
people you don't even know, and returning that smile, for instance.
They are not all good, though...I was also thinking today, "Would
anyone really miss me if I wasn't around?" I would like
to think so...
...March 14...
I feel good today...tired, but it's a good tired. I walked a
mile this morning, before I went to the computer lab, and I will
walk some more this evening. My legs and back are really stiff,
though...I have to see the dr. Thursday, I'm going to ask how
soon it will be before I can get my bro-in-law (the chiropractor)
to work on me.
Went to jam yesterday with my friend Dave. Dave and I used to
be in a band together, but we haven't played much lately. That's
mostly my fault, I have been pre-occupied with other things,
and then after the surgery I wasn't allowed to lift anything
heavier than 10 pounds. Still not supposed to, but since I have
already been carrying and playing my bass and I am not dead,
I didn't think it would hurt..lol.
...March 13...
A pretty uneventful weekend. Cinderella is over(thank God), now
all I have to do is sit back and wait for the money to roll in..lol.
It wasn't that bad, really, I guess...I am sure there are a lot
more painful ways to make some money. ***special note*** A sign
that I
am definitely getting old - Ted Nugent and Kiss, two of my favorites,
were on VH-1 Saturday night..what is the world coming to?
Sunday, I went to church, then we went out to eat...it is harder
now sometimes to sit and watch people eat all the things I can't
have. I thought that after 6 weeks I would be getting over wanting
stuff so much, but I'm not. I just have to be strong...and walk,
walk, walk..lol.
Monday, I weighed again...only lost 6 pounds last week. I was
really bummed at first, but I know I have to try to stay positive.
At least it was 6 more steps in the right direction.
It makes me feel better sometimes to look more at the big picture...before
I had this done, I couldn't walk 20 feet without getting out
of breath. Now, I can walk a quarter of a mile (or more) before
I have to rest...that's quite an improvement, and it is only
going to get better. ***special note*** Maria, I will have a
pic for you very soon...any special poses you want or anything?..lol.
How about one that shows my scar?
...March 11...
Yesterday, was kind of an up and down day. Since the "down"
part was something a little more personal than I want to get
in to, let's focus on the "up"...
Tonight was the opening performance of Cinderella. The show went
surprisingly well, considering how some of the rehearsals were,
so that was a big relief.
The best part, though, was my pants. I wore my black dress pants,
which I haven't worn since about the middle of December. It's
a good thing I had suspenders to hold them up, because I had
about 4 extra inches around the waist. So, it ended up being
a pretty good day.
...March 10...
Wow...3 days in a row, birthdays for friends of mine. Karen says
I must have a thing for Pisces women..lol. Today, it's Amanda,
from the land down under. Happy Birthday, Amanda!! I hope you
have a great one, and that all is going well at school.(Jeez,
I wish I was 19 aagain.....)
I've been rehearsing all week for a musical that one of the local
high schools is putting on. They're doing Cinderella. Mostly,
I am doing it for the money, although sometimes these shows can
turn out to be fun. At least so far, that hasn't been the case
with this
one. We don't have a drummer, and even worse, there aren't any
real cute girls in the cast..lol.
If I were a better bass player, it wouldn't matter, but it is
strange for me not to have a solid beat to play off of, and it
also puts more pressure on me to keep the tempo for the songs.
Oh well, it could be worse...I could have had gastric bypass
surgery and not be able to eat any of the things that I know
and like and want oh so bad(like fried chicken..lol). Wait a
minute, I did that, too..lmao!! If I can survive that, I guess
I can out up with a bunch of whiny teenagers and crappy music
and a little pressure..lol.
...March 9...
Well, today is the birthday of another friend of mine, so Happy
Birthday, soda!!! Thanks for all your friendship and support,
I hope you had/have a great day.
I had sort of an adventure yesterday, I got it in my mind that
I was going to walk home from the computer lab. Well, I sort
of under-estimated the distance and over-estimated my fitness
level..lol. I did make it a mile, though, which turns out to
be about a third of
the way...I just need to work up to it, I guess. I am "building
my stamina", according to soda...that's the kind of positive
spin I can usually count on from her..lol.
I want to take a minute to thank all my friends for their support
and encouragement. I wouldn't want to attempt to try to mention
you all because I KNOW(being the supreme potato head that I am)that
I would leave someone out. It means a lot to me to have you all
in my corner...thank you great big bunches.
...March 8...
Today is the birthday of a very good friend of mine...Happy Birthday,
Karen!!!! Remember, you're not getting older, you're getting
better. Yes, that was better, not bitter..lol. (Oh, and beautiful
as always)
Going to be kind of busy this week...I am playing bass for a
local high school production of Cinderella. I am a whore..I am
mainly doing it for the money, although it looks like I am going
to have to use the money to buy a new battery for my car...big
bummer:-(
__________________________________________________
...March 6...
What an awesome day!! It started out good, I went and weighed
in nice and early. I lost 11 pounds last week, for a total of
46 all together, so right away I was pretty happy. Then, I had
a great phone conversation with
an old friend. I was really buzzing after that...nothing anyone
else would find entertaining, but a great time for me.
After that, I got to hang around for a couple hours listening
to some great music at ear-bleed volume, then it was such a great
day outside that I went for a long walk in the park. I wish every
day could be like this..lol.
__________________________________________________
...March 5...
I have had a pretty eventful couple of days, for me...
Friday night, I went bowling with Brenda. It's the first time
I have been bowling in at least 10 years, I would say. It was
a lot of fun, even though I got my ass kicked 2 out of the 3
games we bowled..lol. I didn't remember bowling being such a
workout, though...
Saturday, I played putt putt golf with my mom and brother..I
won at that, so I was able to maintain my manly pride..lol.
Sunday..well, Sunday was back to normal. I spent a good bit of
time chatting, although there wasn't a lot of chat going on...no
craic, to use an Irish term courtesy of jd. It would have been
a beautiful day to hang out in the park or something, but Brenda
was busy, and I am not into doing something like that alone.
...March 2...
I went and weighed again today. I ordinarily planjust on doing
that once a week, but sometimes I get paranoid, and have to go
in the middle of the week...I lost 3 more pounds, so as usual,
I was worrying for nothing..lol.
I took a good look in the mirror today, and comparing it to the
pic you see on this page, yes, I can see some difference. And,
if I may say so, I am one handsome devil..lol.
...March 1...
Well, I don't know about March coming in like a lion, but it
is kind of a dreary day here in my part of the midwest (corn
country, according to Karen). Some of you who know me well might
have expected me to make some other reference to coming, but,
while I might have been thinking along those lines, I'm not going
to say it..lol.
I've decided one of the problems with
keeping a journal like this is...I really don't have a lot to
say. Oh, if I wanted to really spill my guts and let all my personal
stuff out, I could write for days and days. I don't know how
entertaining it would be, but, how entertaining is it now? Give
me some feedback... e-mail me at nortonsavage@yahoo.com Thanks!!
...February 29...
Hey, it's Leap day!!! Big fucking deal, it's just another day.
I know, how could I be in a bad mood? The weight is coming off
pretty good, and I am very happy and proud of myself about that.
Physically, I feel pretty good. Mentally, however....things are
a little confusing. I won't go into it, I wouldn't even really
know where to start. The doctor said that the operation can affect
your hormones, so maybe that's it. I will assume so,
anyway, and maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Later...
that same day...
hey maria,
I took the test to find out who my celebrity match-up would be...it
was Britney Spears for me!! Egads!! OK, don't get me wrong...I
hate her music, but given the chance, I am perverted enough that
I would probably do her..lol. How about you and Ricky Martin...can
you say the same thing?..lol. This cheered me up a little, you
can tack it onto the end of the journal entry if you want to,
talk to you soon. Marty
...February 28...
What an awesome day!!! I got on the
scale today and discovered that I weighed 15 pounds less than
I did last Monday!! I have lost 35 pounds in 4 weeks...if something
like that doesn't make you happy, nothing will..lol.
Wiz wanted to know if I can see a difference
yet...well, I can't, but other people have started to notice
it. I am now at the lowest weight I can remember being in the
last almost ten years...not that I am going to say how much that
is...
...February 25...
Wiz asked me if my clothes have started
to feel any different yet. I told her it was hard to say, because
I wear baggy sweats all the time, anyway. Well, a couple people
have commented that they seem baggier than usual, so I guess
there IS starting to be a change. YAY!!!
...February 21...
Weigh-in Monday again....I've lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks. I am
pretty happy with that, considering I haven't been walking much
the last few days. I'm not really sure why, I guess it's my old
buddy laziness kicking in. Me and Alice (my mother) went over
to my bro's house to play Trivial Pursuit last night. Once again,
I whupped ass...I am one trivial dude..lol. The night got a little
heavy toward the end. We got started alking about feelings and
stuff...pretty unusual for my family. Not sure yet whether I
liked this new development..lol.
...February 19...
I neglected to mention, I weighed again before the support meeting,
I have lost 17 pounds now, so right now I am losing about a pound
a day. I hope I can maintain that pace for awhile. When I was
at the doctor's office Tuesday, they went over everyone's diet.
I was amazed at the things some of the people wanted to eat already.
They are all supposedly at the same stage I am, which means a
"whole" liquid diet...clear liquid with the addition
of milk, pudding, a couple other things... People were asking
when they could eat ice cream, or milkshakes, or meat, it just
blew me away. I have had a couple of cravings, but I would be
afraid to even TRY to eat something I am not supposed to, especially
after going though all the pain of such a drastic step as having
surgery. Maybe they had lobotomies, too..lol.
...February 18...
Well, the support group meeting was OK. They had a fashion show,
with people that have had the operation as models. The clothes
were nice enough, I guess, but a little pricey for me. My friend
Karen pointed out that it was kind of a waste, having these "big"
clothes modeled, because everyone is going to have to buy smaller
clothes as they lose weight. The discussion part of the evening
was interesting, about how some of the local restaurants deal
with people that have had the surgery, people that no longer
have the need to order a full meal. Most places will let people
order a kid's plate, or share a plate with their spouse, but
we learned about one that doesn't seem to want to do that...greedy
bastards!!..lol
...February 17...
I am going to a support group meeting tonight, for people that
have had the surgery. It is nice talking with people who have
had the surgery, but the speakers/programs leave a little something
to be desired. The last one talked about laser surgery to remove
scars....scars are among the least of my problems, even with
this 14 incher I have running down the middle of my gut now..lol
...February 16...
One of the things I have had to think about in doing this is
how personal to be...I don't think I am ready to be too personal,
I'm sure you're all terribly disappointed..lol. The big event
today....I am now allowed what they call "whole" liquids...I
can add in milk, pudding, a couple other things. I had some V-8,
and I really love V-8, so it was a good day..lol.
...February 15...
I had a follow up visit with the doctor today, at least I thought
it was going to be with the doctor. It turned out to be just
the nurse...I guess they only involve the doctor if something
out of the ordinary is happening. She said I was doing great,
and everything was looking good so far. I was really pleased
with my 15 pound loss, until I heard one lady say she had lost
35 in the same amount of time...that disappointed me a little.
I just have to remember that not every one is the same, and it
will come off eventually. I just need to do my part.
...February 14...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day!! Even more important, it's weigh-in
day for me..lol. I lost a little over 6 and a half pounds, bringing
the grand total to almost 15 pounds in 2 weeks!! Part of me is
a little disappointed that I am not losing faster, but if I am
being compltetely honest, I COULD be doing more walking than
I am. I am averaging about a mile a day, but I also do a lot
of sitting around still...
...February 12...
This has been strange to deal with...when you're used to eating
anything you want anytime you want, a clear liquid diet just
doesn't cut it sometimes.
The weird thing is, I am not sure I am even really hungry when
I think I am. I think (and this was backed up by someone who
has been through it) that it is just that, my mind is telling
me to eat because I AM usedto eating all the time. And, of course,
it doesn't help when I turn a magazine page and see an awesome
piece of chocoloate cheesecake staring at me..lol....
On a personal note...this is my mom and dad's wedding anniversary...my
dad has been gone 12 years and when this day rolls around I am
still never sure if I should say anything to her....
... January 31...
This is the big day..I am both excited and scared to death. We
had dinner yesterday, I got two of my favorites, fried chicken
and macaroni and cheese, as sort of a "last meal",
and Brenda made a fabulous carrot cake for dessert.
I didn't want the occasion to turn into something morbid, but
I did get to see almost everyone in the family, and let them
all know I love them...just in case. As they come to wheel me
into surgery, I am surprised that I am not more scared than I
am...in fact, my blood pressure was the lowest it has been in
a long time...see you on the other side.....
... February 1 and 2...
OOWW!!!Son of a B*TCH!!! This HURTS!!! Why didn't someone f**king
tell me it was gonna hurt this f**king bad?!?!
... February 3...
Actually, the real bad pain was Monday afternoon and evening
(Jan 31). Tuesday and Wednesday I was up and roaming the halls
quite a bit. Well, maybe not quite a bit by normal standards,
but to me it felt like I was doing marathons. Today, I am getting
around well enough that I get to go home.
... February 4-11...
I am not going to bore you with details of all those days in
between, they were all pretty much the same day..lol. Get up,
eat, walk, watch tv, chat, walk,
talk on the phone, eat, walk, etc., etc. I am on a clear liquid
diet, so my meals are fabulous!!! I am most thankful for my family
and friends...their support through this means a great deal to
me. Now that we are all caught up, I will try to make regular
entries here. I can't make any promises, in the past I have always
been kind of a slacker, so this may be the last entry...you never
know unless you come back. Aloha.
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