Mrs. Jacobs: Jake, honey, come have your breakfast!
Jake: (from offstage) Comin' mama!
(Jake runs on and embraces his mother, his mother kisses his forehead.)
Jake: I'm excited for school today mama! Hank and I are in the same class so we're gonna walk together and sit beside each other and-
Mrs. Jacobs: Jake you know how your father and I feel about that Hank character. I don't mind that you two are friends but I just don't think that he's the best influence on you.
Jake: Oh mama I'm a good boy and I never let anybody tell me to do anything! Hank's a good boy too!
Mrs. Jacobs: Well I never see him in church on Sunday's with his parents.
Jake: Oh mama.............
Mrs. Jacobs: Hurry up sugar, you're gonna be late.
Jake: Okay bye mama!
( Jake pecks his mother on the cheek and runs off the stage.)
Mrs. Jacobs: Go with God honey!
(Blackout)
(Lights come up and Hank and his mother are on stage eating breakfast.)
Hank: I'm in Jake's class mama.
Mrs. Harvey: That's nice Hankey, honey you're gonna be late you know.
Hank: Mama they don't care the teachers love me!
Mrs. Harvey: That's not what I recall happened last year......
Hank: Mama, I'm gonna have a good year I am in sixth grade now and I am a mature young man. I am gonna be the man that every girl on the swings wants! Jake and I are gonna have the best year ever.
Mrs. Harvey: Hank go to school.
Hank: Bye!
( Hank exits. There is a blackout.)
(The lights come up and Hank and Jake are walking together.)
Jake: Your not allowed to influence me this year you know.
Hank: Sure I am.
Jake: No my mom say's you can't, are you gonna go to church on Sunday? I am it'll be fun! God is going to get me good marks this year my mom said so!
Hank: You know Jake this year you are not going to church! We are gonna have actual fun this year, we're gonna go skinny dipping and look at naked girls and be totally ready for the real world. Face it Jake this a pivotal year for us and I don't want it to go to waste.
Jake: Hank I want to do good this year besides I don't want to dirty my mind with those bad things.
( A very attractive young girl walks by and winks at the boys. Both shudder with desire, Jake included.)
Hank: You want to deprive yourself of that?!?!
Jake: Uh, no. Nope Hank you were right we need to experiment!
Hank: Atta boy Jakey! Let the games begin.
(The boys exit running off to school.)
*SCENE*
SCENE TWO
(Kids are playing in the school yard as Jake and Hank enter.)
Hank: Welcome back to the kingdom.
Jake: C'mon Hank let's go play! ( Jake begins to run off as Hank catches him by the shirt.)
Hank: Jake were in grade six now so we don't play anymore, we mingle, watch.
(Hank walks over to a group of girls playing.)
Hank: Hello ladies, how was your summer?
Julie: Hiye Hank, mine was real good until now.
Hank: Julie honey how nice to see you.......but Suzy, oh God Suzy, this most delicate creation of the Lord, this majestic creature I see before me, how are you me sweet? (Suzy opens her mouth to answer but is cut off.) Wait you don't need to answer me I know you missed me, and I know it killed you to see me with other people and not with you but you need to understand that I was just a boy and now I am proud to say I have become.....a MAN!! So my darling let us join are groups of boys and girls together and rejoice.
(There is an awkward silence and Hank is now observing the group of kids that has surrounded him, particularly Jake and the rest of the boys. The girls behind Suzy are giggling.)
Jake: Done mingling yet Hank?
(Hank throws Jake a dirty look.)
Suzy: Hank, I was in the Muskoka's this summer, so I didn't really miss you all that much. This year will be no different than last year Jake you are a gross boy and I don't like you!
Hank: Suzy darling you can't hide like that forever! (Hank rushes over to Suzy and kisses her, Suzy is struggling frantically to escape his grasp.)
Suzy: I HATE YOU HANK HARVEY! ( Suzy then kicks Hank in the family jewels.)
(Hank is doubled over in pain lying on the ground the boys are gathered around him as Suzy stand triumphantly surrounded by the girls.)
Jake: Hank I don't think were quite old enough to mingle yet.
Robbie: What book did you read that load of crap out of Hank?
Carl: That really sucked Hank you'll never have Suzy Unklebump, I thought you gave
up years ago anyway.
Hank: (struggling) I read it out of " The Legacy of Diana Whitaker." Andrew said it to Diana and she instantly fell in love with him and they made sweet love under the willow tree. My mama say's that Andrew's who she thinks about when she in bed with my father. I will never give up on Suzanna Unklebump, she will be mine.
( A bell rings.)
Jake: C'mon Hank it's time for school.
(The light dim and the boys exit, Hank is still walking funny.)
(The light come up and the children are seated in the class room.)
Mr.Grape: Mr. Harvey, you seem to be a little teary eyed today.
Robbie: Suzy Unklebump kicked him in the nuts sir.
( All the kids begin to laugh and Hank sinks lower into his seat.)
Mr. Grape: Ah, Hank when will you learn that Suzy will never love you, you could take some lessons from your good friend Jake he never seems to be in quite as much trouble as you are.
Hank: Sir, I have not had a very good day so I would appreciate is if you would just LEAVE ME ALONE!
Mr. Grape: Nobody talk to Hank today please he's a little touchy. Now ladies and gentleman welcome to the sixth grade, this year I expect you to act like adults as soon you will be put to the test in life. Now this is a tough year and I will do the best to help you out as best as I can.
(Hank gets up and moves over beside Suzy, slyly.)
Hank: How long are you gonna fight this baby?
Suzy: (Totally ignoring Hank) Hiye Jake, how was your summer? It sure is nice to see you.
Jake: You to Suzy, Did you have a nice summer?
Hank: Jake if you wouldn't mind I am trying to talk to my future wife.
Suzy: Hank Harvey you are the biggest nikinpoop I've ever met! I don't wanna talk to you I wanna talk to Jakey.
Hank: JAKEY!
(Suzy and Jake continue to converse as Jake sulks quietly.)
Julie: Hank I had a good summer.
Hank: I don't wanna talk to you right now Julie.
Julie: I've always loved you Hank, I find you very handsome.
Hank: Buzz off Julie.
Julie: I could make you a very, very, very, happy man.
Hank: SHUT - UP!
Mr. Grape: I think that summer is still in your blood, it's time to settle down leave the love scenes for the playground. I'll let you go today, I'll see you tomorrow ready to learn as good students should.
(All the children jump up laughing and talking they run out busily)
*SCENE*
Scene Three
(It's later in the day and Jake and Hank are meeting up in the street.)
Jake: So Hank what do you wanna do tonight?
Hank: Well I wanna go skinny dipping with the girls at the river.
Jake: Uh,um,okay,but,um.......
Hank: What are you skird?
Jake: NO!
Hank: Then what?
Jake: (quietly and quickly) My mamma say's I can't.
Hank: What did you say?
Jake: My mamma say's I can't OK! I'm not allowed to talk to girls, or touch em, or play with them or especially skinny dip with em! My parents said that girls are bad, my daddy said that it's all because of a stupid girl that he's in the mess he's in today. He don't want no more kids or stupid goddam wives, yup that's exactly what he said. He said it's always better to pay for it then to get it at home, what ever that means.
Hank: Your daddy is weird!
Jake: Is not, he swears he's telling the truth!
Hank: Well, I think that you really wanna go and I really wanna go so that makes it okay. We won't tell our parents where were gonna go.
Jake: But I have to be home early I have to go to church tomorrow morning.
Hank: Shut - up sissy face, I'll meet you here after dinner.
(The lights lower slightly to show a time gap. Both boy's meet back in the middle of the stage to make their way to the river.)
Jake: Hiye Hank! Lets go I brought my swimming shorts and a towel. I also brought my running sneakers so I won't cut my feet on the rocks.
Hank: Look stupi - doop! Were SKINNY dippin'! That means we have to be nakid!
Jake: WITH GIRLS!
Hank: Yeah so what.
Jake: I dunno, um, my mamma say's that those girls that go to the river always get strange diseases from the water.
Hank: I'm going without you if you don't shut - up about you stupid rules in a minute!
Jake: Fine! I'm comin!
(The lights dim slightly and three girls come on to the opposite side of the stage and begin to play and giggle in the water.)
Jake: (Jumpy) What's that? Is that the girls?
Hank: Yup! You know what?
Jake: What?
Hank: Suzy Unklebump is there. I can hear her and she has no idea how lucky she is tonight.
Jake: Why?
Hank: Cause I'm gonna let her marry me tonight.
Jake: She's in love with me stupid! Besides you can't get married tonight unless you go to Vegas.
Hank: That's alright I'll get my dad to drive us in the morning. Everybody at school knows she's in love me. Let's go see them!
Jake: Hello there girls!
(Girls giggle and become jumpy)
Julie: Ohmigod! It's Hank Harvey and his friend Jake Jacobs!
Betty: Are ya comin' swimmin' boy's?
Suzy: Hello Jake, how are ya? I'd really like you to come swimmin with me.
Hank: Uh, hey there Suzy cutie!
Suzy: (uncaring) Hiye Hank.
Hank: Suzy, Jake here's a little skird to go swimmin' so I'll come in alone and um.....
Julie: Wanna swim with me Hank?
Hank: NO!
Jake: It's okay Hank I'll swim with Suzy. You and Betty and Julie can swim together.
(Jake strips down and jumps in)
Suzy: You sure are handsome Jake Jacobs.
Jake: Suzy, I think your real pretty.
Suzy: Jake, I've been thinking and I've decided I'm gonna kiss you.
Jake: Um-
(Suzy gives Jake a long slow kiss)
Hank: Everyone be quiet. I hear something.
(A rustle sounds)
Mrs. Jacobs: JAKE JACOBS YOU'RE GONNA GET A WHIPPIN' WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE!
Jake: ARGHHHHHHHH!
(Runs away naked with his mother chasing him)
Hank: (getting into the river) Well ladies it looks like it's just you and me!
(the girls look at one another with disgust)
Girls: EWWWWWWWWW!
(All run out leaving Hank alone in the river.)
*SCENE*
Scene Four
(Jake's bedroom)
Mrs. Jacobs: Jake I just don't know what I'm gonna do with you, I have given you all the guidance I can and you disobey me.
Jake: But mamma.....
Mrs. Jacobs: No but's Jakey I have a headache so I need to rest, you can repent your sins tomorrow in church. Don't forget to pray twice tonight.
Jake: I'm sorry mamma, I made a mistake, I just wanted to have fun.
Mrs. Jacobs: Jakey I guess I was just a little shocked that's all, I really don't feel well honey, I'm gonna go to bed alright.
Jake: Goodnight mamma I love you, I'm sorry.
Mrs. Jacobs: That's okay baby, sweet dreams.
(Jake and his mother hug and Mrs. Jacobs exits. Jake crawls into bed and falls asleep, all is quiet until there is a tapping at his window.)
(Jake startled and suspicious creeps over to the window, Jake looks down and he sees Hank throwing rocks at his window)
Hank: (whisper) Jake come on out!
Jake: (whisper) Are you crazy my mamma's sick and I just got in a bunch of trouble because of your first brilliant idea.
Hank: I'm sorry about that, but I did get some good quality time with the ladies.
Jake: Seriously?
Hank: Well kinda yeah.
Jake: Wow Hank! Your such a chick magnet! Did you see Suzy kiss me?
Hank: Sorry buddy musta missed that one!
Jake: (voice getting louder) Yeah she did and it was GREAT!
Mrs. Jacobs: (from off stage) Jake what's going on?
Jake: Nothing mamma!.............(whisper) Hank you'd better leave, I don't wanna
get in any more trouble.
Hank: Jake c'mon out ......puh-lease Jake.....we'll go cause some trouble, just you and me.
Jake: I dunno Hank, ummm..........well........uh,um,......are we gonna get caught?
Hank: Hell no!
Jake: Wait a sec.
(Jake goes and pulls on some clothes and hops out the window)
Hank: Sorry about tonight buddy, I really didn't think that you would get caught.
Jake: Yeah, well I did but I don't care anymore.
Hank: Good now lets go have some fun!
(Blackout)
(When the light come up the boys are quietly creeping around a house with eggs and a roll of toilet paper.)
Hank: (whisper) Are you all set?
Jake: (whisper) Yeah.
Hank: Lets do the toilet paper all over the place first.
Jake: Okay that sounds good.
(The boys begin to throw toilet paper all over the place)
Hank: WOW! This is fun.
Jake: Hank quiet your getting to loud!
Hank: Your loud too!
(A light comes on in the house)
Jake: Uh oh Hank! Somebody just turned the light on!
Hank: Well lets finish up and leave!
Jake: Lets go now!
Hank: No Jake we have to finish the job how will we ever be remembered?
Jake: I'm leaving Hank I've been in enough trouble for one night!
(A man comes running out of the house with a shotgun)
Man: YOU GODDAMN JACKASSES! I'M GONNA KILL YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCHES! WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU LITTLE SHITS YOU'LL BE BEGGING TO CLEAN UP THE MESS YOU JUST MADE. ARGHHH!
(The man begins to chase Hank and Jake as they run away)
Hank: RUN JAKE!
Jake: THE EGGS!
Hank: GET HIM!
(The boys begin to throw eggs at the man chasing him, they get away by running off stage)
Man: (Very winded) Damn kids!
*SCENE*
Scene Five
(Hanks house)
Mrs. Harvey: Hank, Mr. Moonblossom's house got covered in toilet paper last night you and Jake wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hank: Nope.
Mrs. Harvey: Hank be honest with me, Jake's mother does not need this added stress right now with all that's going on in her life. Hank you two boy's are the only ones in this town capable of causing this trouble so why don't you just fess up and get it over with.
Hank: I have no idea what your talking about mamma.
Mrs. Harvey: (warnigly) Hank.....
Hank: Why do you always assume the worst of me?
Mrs. Harvey: Hank Harris Harvey if you don't tell me truth this instant I'll whip the living daylights out of you!
Hank: I told you I don't know anything about it!
(Hanks mother now has a wooden spoon in her hand and is tapping her foot impatiently)
Hank: (timidly) Mamma?
Mrs. Harvey: One last chance Hanky....
Hank: I know nothing about it!!!
(Mrs. Harvey grabs Hank and throws him over her knee and begins whipping him with her wooden spoon)
Mrs. Harvey: (While whipping him) This is for lying to your mother! This is for getting that poor little Jake in trouble with you again! This is for putting a little more stress on Mrs. Jacobs when she's so very sick!
(There is a sudden silence as Hank had no idea that anything was wrong with Mrs. Jacobs and he knows Jake doesn't know anything either as he would have mentioned it before. Mrs. Harvey is quiet as she has slipped up by letting it out.)
Hank: Mamma what did you just say?
Mrs. Harvey: Oh Hanky please don't listen to a thing I just said it was my anger talking and I didn't mean to let something like that out. I just know that Mrs. Jacobs is having a hard time raising Jake on her own since Mr. Jacobs passed on and I don't want her to have a hard time with anyhthing-
Hank: What's wrong with Jake's mamma?
Mrs. Harvey: Baby Jake doesn't know yet. I saw his mamma at the store yesterday and she was real shaken up. So I brought her home for some tea and she just told me everything and I promised her that I wouldn't tell a soul. She doesn't want Jake to find out yet until she makes some arraignments.
Hank: What kind of arrangements?
Mrs. Harvey: Honey.....Jake's mamma has an awful nasty tumor on her brain and she only has about a month left.
Hank: A month left to what?
Mrs. Harvey: To live baby.
(Hank begins to cry)
Hank: Jake will be all alone he won't be able to live by himself! Who's gonna take him to church on Sunday's and make him breakfast in the morning?
Mrs. Harvey: I don't know honey, I didn't mean for you to find out like this. I just don't know what to say....
Hank: Who was gonna tell Jake? Huh mamma? Was he just supposed to wake up one morning and find his mamma dead in her bed? That's not fair I'm going over there right now to tell him what's going on!
Mrs. Harvey: Hank! Don't you dare, it's not our business. I shouldn't have ever.....I'm sorry I have no answers for you right now. Hank I'm sorry I'll talk to Mrs. Jacobs tonight and I'll let her know that you know. But Hank, until you hear anything from Jake please for Jake's sake keep quiet.
Hank: I never keep secrets from my best friend.
Mrs. Harvey: It's not a secret Hank, it's just not our business.
(Blackout)
(The lights come up and Hank and Jake are playing catch.)
Hank: So what do you wanna do tonight?
Jake: I dunno.
Hank: I heard that Robbie's sister is home from university for the weekend.
Jake: So.
Hank: Anything wrong Jake?
Jake: No, why?
Hank: Just wondering you seem a little quiet.
Jake: What about Robbie's sister?
Hank: I heard she changes naked and leaves her blinds open.
Jake: Wow. (Sarcastically)
Hank: Wanna go watch?
Jake: How about we go to the park and play baseball instead?
Hank: She's a grown woman Jake.
Jake: So what. What's the fun in watching a girl put her pyjamas on?
Hank: She's a full grown, blossomed woman Jake.
Jake: Hank why can't we be like regular twelve-year-old boys?
Hank: We are Jake, I just have different needs and I am having the urge to experiment.
Jake: Shut-up Hank! I'm going to play baseball with the guys if you wanna come fine, if you would rather go sit in a tree and watch some stupid girl change go ahead. You always get to decide what we do and I've decided that I don't really like that idea so I'll do what I want and you do what you want! Okay?!
Hank: Thanks for being the worst friend I've ever had.
Jake: Shut-up!
Hank: Jake the Jerk!
Jake: Harry Hank!
Hank: I'm angry at you!
Jake: I'm angry at you too!
Hank: You know what older boy's do when they get angry at each other?
Jake: What?
Hank: They fight!
Jake: So you wanna fight then?
Hank: Maybe I do!
Jake: Maybe I do too!
Hank: Fine lets go! You're dead!
Jake: Ha!
(The boys are now very close together and are staring angrily at one another, there is a long suspenseful silence)
Hank: (quietly) I'm sorry Jake.
Jake: Me too.
Hank: I have a secret.
Jake: What is it?
Hank: I can't tell you.
Jake: Hank....
Hank: Jake I promised and I just can't okay, at least I told you had a secret.
Jake: Hank it's not really fair.
Hank: I'm sorry Jake, you see I promised my mamma.
Jake: Oh....
Hank: Wanna just go play baseball?
Jake: Okay.
(The boys start to walk away)
Hank: Wait, we never officially made up yet.
Jake: Oh, yeah.
(Both boys spit on their hands and shake. Then they continue walking.)
*SCENE*
Scene Six
(Mrs. Jacobs and Mrs. Harvey are sitting down and talking.)
Mrs. Jacobs: I can't believe this....
Mrs. Harvey: I'm sorry Ruth I didn't mean for this to happen, it was the anger talking.
Mrs. Jacobs: I know Patsy, I just don't know how I'm supposed to tell my little boy.
Mrs. Harvey: I'll help you in any way I can, but I do think that it's only fair for Jake to know what's happening. Every time I see you, you look a little more run down.
Mrs. Jacobs: I talked to my sister and she said she would take Jake in when the time arrives, she loves Jakey so and she has wonderful children and a fine husband. I'm sure my Jakey would be very happy there.
(A door slams)
Mrs. Harvey: I think the boys are home, I'll take Hank right home for supper.
Mrs. Jacobs: My goodness it's supper time already? I've slept the day away.
Mrs. Harvey: Have you been to the doctor lately Ruth?
Mrs. Jacobs: Yes it's growing terribly and he say's it's a matter of time. I guess I'm at peace with death now I know my Lord will take good care of me.
Mrs. Harvey: I'm always going to be there for you honey.
Mrs. Jacobs: Thank you Patsy.
(The two women embrace just as Hank and Jake enter.)
Jake: Hiye mamma, hello Mrs. Harvey.
Mrs. Harvey: Hiye Jakey. Hank we have to go have supper.
Hank: But mamma I was gonna play guns with Jake.
Mrs. Harvey: Maybe later Hank. Bye Ruth give a ring if you want to later.
Mrs. Jacobs: I will Patsy, bye Hank.
(Hank and his mother exit.)
Mrs. Jacobs: Jake come have a seat beside me.
Jake: What is it mamma?
Mrs. Jacobs: Baby your mamma's very sick.
Jake: I'll take care of you mamma.
Mrs. Jacobs: Baby God needs to take care of me now. I have a tumor Jake, on my brain and it's killing me.
Jake: Why?
Mrs. Jacobs: I don't know baby sometimes these things just happen.
Jake: Mamma you'll still be alive to come to my wedding right?
Mrs. Jacobs: I don't think so honey.
Jake: Well you'll come to graduation this year right?
Mrs. Jacobs: Baby I don't think I'll be able to make it.
(Jake and his mother are both crying by now)
Jake: Mamma I don't want you to go away, I love you mamma!
Mrs. Jacobs: Jakey I love you too! More than anything in the entire world. When the time arrives you can go live with your Aunt Bessie..
Jake: I don't wanna live with Aunt Bessie mamma I wanna live with you.
Mrs. Jacobs: I always want to be with you too Jakey.
(Jake and his mother are hugging one another as the lights go down)
(The lights come up dimly as it is night time we are in Mrs. Jacobs's room and she is asleep in her bed.)
Mrs. Jacobs: Jakey?! ...................Jakey?!...........
(Jake runs on)
Jake: What is it mamma?
Mrs. Jacobs: Jakey go get Hank's mamma and come right back. I love you Jake.
Jake: What's happening mamma?
Mrs. Jacobs: I'm dying Jake.
Jake: Mamma am not leaving you now....
(Jake climbs up on his mothers bed and they hold one another)
*SCENE*
Scene Seven
( Jake and Hank are sitting together in black suits on a bench in front of a church)
Hank: You okay?
Jake: Yeah I guess.
Hank: I'm sorry I never told you Jake I just wanted you to find out the right way.
Jake: I know Hank I understand, I get it now.
Hank: Get what?
Jake: That life is about beginnings and endings. My mamma just had her ending and now I'll have my new beginning. I loved my mamma very much and as much as I wish she could be here right now I wouldn't want her here in pain. Mamma was a good woman and took great pride in her beliefs in the Lord. Maybe that's why she left so early, maybe God wanted her to be an angel, my guardian angel. My mamma will never leave me I know it, I can fell her right this second. I'm not afraid to do anything like skinny dipping any more either. My mamma will know what I'm up to my whole life but she'll make sure I don't get hurt, she understands. I understand.
Hank: Jake you're my best friend.
Jake: Your mine Hank. I sure am gonna miss you.
Hank: You'll be back, you never go away.
Jake: Yeah I think Aunt Bessie will let me come back in the summer to stay with you, maybe even Christmas too!
Hank: That would be the best. Hey, maybe I can even come visit you.
Jake: Yeah that would be fun.
Hank: No matter what were a team!
Jake: You got that right.
(The boys spit on their hands and shake.)
*SCENE*
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