Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.
The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Murphy's Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Addition to Murphy's Laws
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is
going right ... something is wrong.
More Laws
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are
so ingenious.
Left to themselves,
things tend to go from bad to worse.
Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a
problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a
problem.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be
done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its
importance.
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the
bread to butter.
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is
directly proportional to the cost of the
carpet.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've
bought it, it will be on sale somewhere
cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need
it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more
than you thought.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw
it up.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it
will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of
incompetence, and then remains there.
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to
do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.