SHERIFF HAMILTON: You don't mean to tell me you think these tracks were made by the Fiji Mermaid!
SCULLY: Do you recall what Barnum said about suckers?
MULDER: Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?
MR. NUTT: And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus? Much less been enslaved by one?
MULDER: I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just thought that...
MR. NUTT: You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that the only career I could procure for myself would be one confined to the so-called "Big Top". You took one quick look at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never did it occur to you that a person of my height could have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel Management.
MULDER: I'm sorry. I meant no offense.
MR. NUTT: Well then! Why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Why I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work for the government; an FBI agent... but do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature, instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
MULDER: But... I am an FBI agent.
DR. BLOCKHEAD: How many people do you know who can get out of a straightjacket in under three minutes?
SCULLY: Fortunately, none.
(DR. BLOCKHEAD hammers a nail up his nose)
MULDER: Have you ever performed this... act on anyone else?
DR. BLOCKHEAD: What, are you sick? I tell my audiences that if they're stupid enough to try this on themselves they'll end up with a slight lobotomy. I am a professional.
DR. BLOCKHEAD: Did you know that through the protective Chinese art of tu bwan you can train your testicles to draw up into your abdomen?
MULDER: Oh. I'm doing that as we speak.
MR. NUTT: I know what you're thinking my friend, but you're grossly mistaken...Just because I'm not of so-called average height does not mean I must receive my thrills vicariously. Not all women are attracted to overly tall, lanky men such as yourself. You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring.
MULDER: You'd be surprised how many men do as well.
(Mulder and Scully are caught digging in Sheriff Hamilton's yard)
SHERIFF: May I ask what you're doing?
MULDER: We're exhuming...(digs out something)....your potato.
MULDER: We found out you used to be the Dog-Faced Boy.
SHERIFF: Boy, look how skinny I was back then.
SHERIFF: I spent the first half of my life as Jim Jim. Then one morning I noticed a bald spot on top of my head and realized I wasn't only losing my hair but my career as well. Eventually all the hair went, on top my head anyways. The rest of my body's still pretty hairy, which is... why I never go to the beach.
SCULLY: That doesn't quite explain the potato.
SHERIFF: I got... uh, some warts on my hand.
MULDER: That doesn't quite explain the potato.
SHERIFF: To get rid of warts, you... rub a sliced potato on your hand and bury it under a full moon. Investigation isn't going too well, is it?
SCULLY: Sir, if you're going to be uncooperative, I'll have to handcuff you.
DR. BLOCKHEAD: What gives you fascists the right to do that?
SCULLY: Did I not mention we're federal agents?
DR. BLOCKHEAD: Did I not mention that I'm an escape artist?" (DR. BLOCKHEAD escapes and knocks MULDER onto a bed of nails)
SCULLY: Mulder, are you okay?
MULDER: It's more comfortable than a futon...
DR. BLOCKHEAD: Nature abhors normality. It can't go very long without creating a mutant.
