MulderClonesRUs
2000 Limited Edition
Holiday MulderClones

 

Xmas MulderClone 1 -- Deck the Halls
Special times call for special skills and this MulderClone comes ready and rarin' to hit the holiday party circuit. Fully equipped with tux and tails for those formal occasions, but equally comfortable in jeans and a soft, heather grey T-shirt for those casual times, he's a ballroom, Latin, and modern dance champion (just wait until he dips you!) speaks four languages fluently (even English!), knows which fork is which, can tell an endless stream of funny, non-offensive and politically-correct jokes and STILL get people laughing, and can eat an artichoke without injury to himself or others!
Connected enough to get you invited to all the best parties and premieres, but down-to-earth enough not to take that fact, or himself, too seriously, this is the Clone for the aspiring socialite in all of us.

 

MulderClone #2 -- Let it Snow
Downhill, cross-country, snowboarding, a game of pick-up hockey, or good old fashioned snowball fight, this clone is ready for anything winter can throw his way. There's nothing this clone likes better than an invigorating day in the great outdoors, followed by an even more invigorating night in the great indoors. Shovels driveways and sidewalks willingly, enjoys the challenge of a good old-fashioned blizzard, can build an igloo with surprising ease, and never complains about the weather, even if it rains
. . .and rains. . .and rains. . .
Comes with tire chains, warm fuzzy mittens, gourmet hot chocolate, a down-filled sleeping bag rated to-40C and thermal undies, this is the Clone for the back-to-naturalist.

Please note: This model is not recommended for tropical climes or antipodian Xmas giving as he, and the recipient, are both likely to become dangerously over-heated.

 

MulderClone #3 -- Home for the Holidays
Sure there's something to be said for the man who loves to party, and for the man who loves the great outdoors. But there's even more to be said for the clone who specializes in succulent five course meals, roaring fires, good wine, soft music and YOU! Dapper, dashing, bright, and witty, this clone could easily fit in at any Hollywood premiere or festive gala, but he'd rather spend his time tending to hearth, home, and your every festive whim. If the hustle and bustle of the holidays is getting you down, he's quick with a sympathetic ear, a foot massage, a platinum card, and an offer to do all the cooking, shopping, wrapping, and cleaning. Truly, this MulderClone is a miracle of modern holiday gene-splicing.

 

MulderClone #4 -- Surf's Up!
Maybe you live in some equatorial region. Maybe you are planning to spend your holidays in some warmer, friendlier, tropical clime. Or maybe, deep down in your heart of hearts, all you've ever really wanted is your very own cabana boy. So the last thing you need is a clone who comes with his own Sno-Cat and a goose-down sleeping bag. That's where our Surf's Up MulderClone comes in. Ready for fun, sun, and everything you can legally do on any self-respecting adult beach, this clone comes with snorkel, scuba gear, surf board, wake board, water skis, a volleyball and net, a pail and a shovel, a towel for two, and, naturally, the Speedo. SPF 45 (large economy size) and snazzy pair of RayBans included with this model! Now, get out there and TAN!


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