There was this little boy, and his parents were having a fight. The dad called the mom a bitch, and the mom called the dad a bastard. The little boy asked what a bitch and a bastard were. Mom said, "a bitch is a girl and a bastard is a boy."  The little boy was happy and went away.

 The next day, when the fight was over, the little boy was on his parents bed when he looked under his parents pillow. He held something up and asked what it was. Dad said that it was a condom.  The boy asked what that was, and dad said that it was a coat.

 The boy went into the bathroom where his dad was shaving. Dad cut himself and yelled Shit!. The boy asked what shit was and the dad said, "Shit is cutting something." The little boy walked away happy.

 He went downstairs where his mom was cutting the turkey for the party that they were having that night. Mom cut herself and said, "fuck!" When the boy asked again what the word fuck meant, the mother said to her son, "Fuck is cutting something."

 When the doorbell rang, the little boy was told to answer the door and let the people in. When he answered the door, He proudly said, "Bitches and Bastards, may I please have your condoms so I can hang them up. My Dad is upstairs putting on shit, and mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"

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