Chapter Fifteen
The next morning, I heard someone come into the room and take my hand. My eyes were closed, but I knew I could open them if I wanted to. My eyelids didn't feel quite as heavy. I forced myself to open my eyes. There was Brian, surrounded by light as though he were an angel. His eyes were closed as though he were praying.
"Brian," I whispered. His eyes flew open and he looked at me. I turned my head so I could look at him.
He got up out of his chair and flung his arms around me. "Oh, Briann, it's so good to have you back," he said, choked up on tears.
"I didn't go anywhere," I said softly. "Where am I?"
"You're in the hospital," he told me, sitting back down in the chair beside my bed. "You overdosed on morphine."
"No I didn't," I said, smiling.
"Don't go anywhere," he told me, getting up. "I need to go get Dr. Williams."
I raised both my arms which had IV's coming out of them and said to him, "Where would I go?"
He chuckled and ran out the door. I could hear him call to someone, "Lil' Rok's awake!" A few moments later, my room was filled with people. The Backstreet Boys, my parents, Brian's parents, his brother, and my doctor were all there. I smiled at everyone.
"Well, good morning," Dr. Williams said. "How are you feeling?"
"A little cramped. Could like some of you go away?"
"Did we wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" AJ said.
"Just go away AJ. I'll deal with you later, Boy."
"Alright, everyone out," Dr. Williams called. "You can stay, she told my parents and Brian." After everyone left, Dr. Williams shut the door. My mom sat down in the chair Brian had occupied when I had opened my eyes and took my hand. My dad was on the other side of me, Brian standing right next to him. "Briann, I'm taking you off the morphine."
"Why?" I asked of my doctor.
"You were lucky that your friends were nearby."
"Lucky how?"
"You stopped breathing. For a short moment you were dead. Had Brian not found you when he did, we'd be attending your funeral right now."
I sighed. "So how much is this little visit going to add on to my bill?" I asked.
"Briann, you almost died. How can you be concerned about money right now?" Brian asked me, shocked.
"What else is new? I'm used to these near-death experiences."
"Knock it off Briann, this is serious. You could have killed yourself."
My parents remained quiet through the entire ordeal, knowing that it wouldn't mean anything to me if it came from them. I had to hear the truth from someone else. I hadn't been close to my parents since high school and felt more comfortable with the Littrells.
"I am being serious, Brian."
"It's hard to tell sometimes with you." He was starting to raise his voice.
"And that's my problem?"
"No, you're problem is you're addicted to drugs."
"I am not."
"Are too."
"Oh, grow up Brian!"
"No, you're the one who needs to grow up."
"I'm the one who's in the hospital and you're acting like a seven year old!"
"Briann, listen to me. You're addicted to morphine. You need help."
"And why should I listen to you? You're not my parents!"
"No, but I care about you Briann. I've always cared about you."
"Could've fooled me."
"You're impossible when you get like this."
"Then stop arguing with me. I know what I'm doing."
"No you don't. You're killing yourself Briann. Why can't you see that?"
"You don't know what you're talking about Brian."
"He does know what he's talking about," Dr. Williams interrupted. "Briann, you had massive amounts of morphine in your system when they brought you in here. You had so much morphine that it stopped your heart."
"But I would never give myself that much morphine. You act like I'm doing this to myself on purpose."
"Are you?"
"No."
"Then why are you doing this, Briann?" Brian asked.
"Because I'm in pain. Weren't you on pain medication after your surgery?"
"Yes, but not to where I had to inject myself. I can't imagine anyone being in that kind of pain."
"Well I was."
"Actually, Briann, no you weren't," Dr. Williams said.
"Huh?"
"You were in pain yes, but you not being able to move was just a manifestation of your brain."
"What do you mean doctor?" my mom asked.
"We're not entirely sure why this happens, but when something traumatic like an accident happens, the brain deals with it in different ways. Some people become depressed, others have panic attacks. I think in the case of your daughter, she was so athletic that she wouldn't let herself forget what happened so she kept feeling pain."
"Was she really in pain?" my dad inquired.
"I believe she was to start with, but nothing like what she said she was having. I've had several patients with injuries almost identical to Briann's and they've all recovered either one hundred percent or close to it with no recurring pain."
"But I was in pain," I protested.
"I'm sure you were," she replied. "What would Dave say if he were here?"
At the mention of Dave's name I got all clammy. "He'd tell me I was being stupid not to listen to my friends."
"Who's Dave?" Brian asked.