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Blind Ambition
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"There are no words to express my appreciation towards the 
Academy for bestowing upon me this great honor. All I can 
say is that my life has been a procession of moments. The 
moment Jeff read my story and thought it would make a great 
script. The moment Nick and Sara played their characters to 
perfection when I made my directorial debut. The moment I 
made my acting debut playing a blind girl. The moment I 
found out I was blind. I have not had one moment in time, 
but several and this is one of them. Thank you."
	With those words, I sealed my place in the hearts of 
Americans forever. I thought that after the world knew 
their sweetheart was blind, I would never have another job. 
But I guess winning four Emmy's and being part of the show 
that won every category they were nominated in made me "a 
hot item" whether I could see or not.

It all started a year before the Emmy's. I was watching my 
favorite show, "Parallel." It was about two police 
detectives who explored parallel universes they were thrown 
into. Like many of the other "Parallel" freaks, I became 
obsessed. I began writing stories for the show. I kept them 
to myself, never letting on what I was doing, because I 
knew the creator, Jeff Johnson, could hunt me down and sue 
me if he really wanted to. I knew he wouldn't; it would be 
too expensive and what would he gain from a poor, starving 
college student? But just the thought of a lawsuit scared 
me.
	After several stories, I decided to publish my stories 
on the web, with a disclaimer of course. None of the fans 
knew that Jeff read all the fan fiction that was on the 
web. Some of my friends would sometimes see things they 
wrote about on the show, but would dismiss them as 
coincidence because they were maybe a time or a place. What 
we didn't know was that sometimes Jeff got inspiration from 
us fans. My first story was about the characters Kelly and 
David getting trapped in a world where women ruled and men 
were treated as the "homemaker." It was a strange story to 
post on the web; most of the web stories were about Kelly 
and David getting together. Mine had a slight mention of 
it, but it never developed. Them getting together was never 
on my mind.
	About two weeks after I posted the story, I received 
an email. I'd received a whole bunch of email responses 
about the story, so it was nothing new. The only thing that 
was different about this email was the way it started.

Dear Ms. Kristofferson,
I read your story and I thought it was great. I know 
that you wanted to be notified if anyone were to use 
any part of your story or else you'd "hunt them down 
and..." so I'm telling you I want to use your story. Now 
I know you are wondering who this is and why I am 
emailing you. My name is Jeff Johnson, the creator of 
"Parallel." I don't just want to use your story; I 
want you to turn it into a script for me. You will of 
course get complete writing credit for it. This is no 
hoax. I am being completely honest with you. Please 
email me the completed script within the next week. 
Thank you.
Jeff Johnson

You can imagine my surprise. I got started right away 
turning the story into a script, relying on help from my 
friends to get the format right. Within three days, I had 
the script done and I emailed to Jeff. 
	Now I know what you are thinking. Why did you mail 
this to Jeff with no proof of who he was? It was simple. I 
had mailed myself a copy of the script through the post 
office and had received it back before I emailed Jeff. If 
this was some hoax, I had my copy dated from the US Postal 
Service, so if anyone tried to steal it, I was ready. If it 
wasn't a hoax, and I really did send it to Jeff, then I 
would know because my name would be in the show credits. It 
was that simple.
	About a month later, I had totally forgotten all about 
the script when a letter arrived in the mail. It was from 
Jeff with a plane ticket enclosed. He wanted me to fly to 
Los Angeles, where the show was filmed, and be there while 
they were filming the episode. I called Jeff to confirm 
that this really was happening. He assured me it was and it 
was no joke. I left for LA the next day completely in awe. 
The studio had never accepted spec scripts before. Jeff 
must have really seen something in my writing to want me to 
come out and see it being made. I knew that writers seldom 
got to be on the set of a show during filming. The 
producers and directors often felt that the writer wanted 
too much control over their script when they were on the 
set. And this is true to an extent. I wasn't like that.
	After arriving in LA and getting settled into the 
hotel room they had booked for me, I was on my way to the 
set of the show in a limo. I really couldn't believe my 
luck. On the set, I got to meet Sara and Nick and all the 
directors and writers and editors and other people 
associated with the show. I was in a complete daze.
	Over the next two weeks, I watched my script go from 
paper to an episode. It was really amazing. Being around on 
the set kind of made the directors and prop people nervous, 
so they gave me a job. My job was to watch Nick and make 
sure he had taken off his wedding ring. In the show, David 
isn't married, but in real life, Nick is. Jeff had decided 
that they had fed the fans enough stuff to nit-pick about 
and the ring was really getting to be one of his pet 
peeves. It was fun getting to check Nick everyday to see 
that he didn't have his ring on. Sometimes he'd try and 
sneak by me with his hands in his pockets, but I would 
always catch him. Nick’s wife, Jenny, loved me. She was on 
the set almost every day Nick was. She was expecting her 
first child, so she couldn’t really do much work. She was 
an actress just like Nick was. 
	The person I really bonded with was Sara. One night, 
we were in her apartment kicking back talking about what 
had gone on that day, when she suggested to me that I get a 
tattoo. We drove to the nearest tattoo parlor and made sure 
they were clean. We decided we would get this snake that 
was eating it’s tail. I really wasn’t sure about it, but 
Sara told me a way to forget about the pain. "Just close 
your eyes, focus on your breathing and think of a place 
you’ve always been safe. If you start to feel the pain, 
focus on your safe place." I decided I would get a small 
version of the snake on my lower back. As the needle 
pierced my skin I did exactly what Sara had said. Soon it 
was over and I had a tattoo on my back. It was then that I 
decided I would get a new snake, looping through the one’s 
already there, for each script I wrote, each show I 
directed or each award I won. Little did I know that I 
would soon have a chain going up my back before too long.
	I guess after having this mediocre job, I got bored, 
because I began to ask questions of everyone. I wanted to 
know what their job was and how it was done. I was often 
told, "Curiosity killed the cat." Well, I just told them, 
"I'm not a cat." There was some resistance to my constant 
questioning, but most everyone was willing to share his or 
her secrets of the trade. Jeff soon caught on to what I was 
doing and asked me if I wanted to become a permanent member 
of the crew. I just about fell over. I couldn't believe it. 
One story had gotten me the job of a lifetime. I told him I 
didn't believe his offer and I thought I should prove 
myself worthy of the position. He agreed and told me to 
start working on another script with the possibility to 
direct. I thanked him profusely and went off to my hotel to 
start working on a new script.
	Within a week, I had one. I went and pitched the idea 
to Jeff and he liked it. He asked me to work with Rob, the 
premiere director on the show. Rob was going to show me how 
to direct. That's when the problems started.
	Before I had even begun work on the script I was to 
direct, word got around that I, a novice, was to direct an 
episode. Immediately writers and directors alike began 
flooding Jeff's office. They didn't feel it was right that 
I come in practically off the streets with no experience 
and they had years under their belt and they hadn't gotten 
to direct yet. Jeff would just hold up a hand and say to 
them, "You guys aren't going to be around forever. We need 
to start infusing new, young blood into the stream." I 
loved the way he used words. You could tell he majored in 
journalism in college. With those words, people stopped 
going to Jeff and started harassing me.
	Everything that could possibly go wrong with things 
did. On the very first morning of filming, props had 
disappeared, the lighting rigs were off by more than a few 
centimeters, the sets were hardly finished. I just couldn't 
believe it. I was about ready to kill people for not doing 
their jobs. The only ones who did do their jobs were Nick, 
Sara and Rob. Everyone else was holding a grudge against me 
and was taking it out on the show. I went up to Jeff's 
office, just to get his opinion, not to complain.
	I leaned one leg on his desk and asked him, "So, Jeff 
have you ever had any problems with the cast members?"
	"Yea, when we were in Vancouver, I always had problems 
with Nick," he replied.
	"I knew that. Every fan knows that. It’s what 
constituted the move. I mean other people, like props, 
lighting, costuming, set design..." By then he had caught my 
drift.
	"I figured you would have problems, but don't worry. 
Remember, sometimes you just have to take care of things 
yourself." He was right, I knew it. If I was going to get 
this episode done in time, I would have to work myself to 
the bone. So what if everyone was mad at me. When I got 
nominated for everything that they should have, that's when 
they'll realize who was in charge.
	From that first night, I spent so much time there on 
the set; Jeff set up a cot for me in his office. Things I 
knew they wouldn't do, like grout the tile on a set, I 
wasn't afraid to do. Things like checking the lighting was 
nothing compared to dealing with finicky actors, which I 
didn't have to deal with because Nick and Sara were doing 
wonderful jobs. Some nights I was up from 6 in the morning 
to 2 the next morning. I was beat, but it was worth it. 
When we finally finished the taping, I felt a tremendous 
weight lifted off my shoulders. But the fighting was done 
yet. I still had to go through post-production.
	You would think the editors and post-production people 
would be impartial. Well, they're not. Like the rest of the 
crew, they didn't take too well to my being so young and 
inexperienced. So not only did I have to play the games 
with the crew, but also with the people who were supposed 
to be on my side. I wasn't happy that I was going to have 
to last another week of four hours sleep, but I had to do 
it. It was the only way my episode was going to be edited 
the way I wanted it done. See, but when it came time for 
credits, the people who didn't help me didn't get any 
credit. It was like the story of the little red hen. I had 
asked for their help and they all refused so when it came 
time for the rewards, they didn't get any.
	When Jeff and I sat down to view my episode, he was 
surprised at how weary I looked. "Directing a little too 
hard for you, youngin?" he asked jokingly. 
	"It wouldn't be if I got some cooperation," I said, my 
eyes barely open. 
	"Aw, don't worry about it. You can put it all on your 
resume." I was glad he said that. I was planning on it; I 
just hadn't had the guts yet to ask him. During the 
viewing, he made me very nervous by jotting down things on 
a yellow legal pad. I hoped they weren't bad things. 
Fortunately I only had 45 minutes to wait. "Well, it was 
very good," Jeff said, getting up to leave. 
	"What were you writing?" I asked. I knew it sounded 
immature and childish and like I was snooping, but I had to 
know.
	"Just things I want to share with the rest of the 
crew, things you did well. Now go home and get some sleep." 
Home was an apartment in a complex Jeff had rented for all 
the out of town cast and crew members. I tried to sleep but 
was too busy thinking. There was this show I had watched 
and loved before I joined the crew of "Parallel." It was a 
family friendly show. It dealt with real problems. It was 
called "Angels Among Us." It really was a wonderful show. I 
had a great idea for a script. Instead of going to bed that 
night, I stayed up and wrote the entire script in four 
hours. I then sent it off along with a copy of my updated 
resume to the show's producers. I didn't think they'd buy 
it.
	About three weeks later, I received a letter from the 
show's producer, Marcia, saying I should come down and 
pitch the idea for them. I quickly got dressed, told Jeff 
where I was going and headed towards the set of "Angels 
Among Us."
	When I got there, I waited all of five minutes before 
I was ushered into a conference room. I began my 
presentation.
	"I've been watching your show since the first episode. 
Every episode has made me cry. It's not that I like to cry, 
the episodes just evoke such emotion in me. Let us picture 
this. An actor who's brother and sister-in-law were killed 
in a car accident. Their daughter, his niece, survived, but 
lost her sight due to the accident. The daughter was told 
her uncle was 'too busy' to take care of her, when in 
reality, he had been told that she had been killed too. 
When the actor's niece turns 18, she goes to see her uncle, 
whom she has watched, or should I say heard, every week on 
television. The thing we don't realize about her is that 
she is anorexic and is clinically depressed and suicidal. I 
know it seems like a whole lot for her to be going through, 
but it all fits together. So, the show goes on with the 
actor finding out his niece isn't dead and the girl finding 
out her uncle wasn't 'too busy.' It was a plot by her 
grandmother to keep her from following in her uncle's 
footsteps. Right before she is about ready to commit 
suicide, our angels show up. They talk her out of it and 
convince the actor to become the father she never had."
	"And you are thinking what now?" Marcia asked.
	"Well...I was thinking Nick and Sara could play 
characters similar to themselves, along with Jeff playing 
the show's producer. And I could be the blind niece."
	"And you think you have this power because..."
	"Because I know I can do it."
	"What makes you so sure?"
	"Here, look at my resume." I handed her a copy I had 
just in case the occasion arose.
	Marcia looked over it. "Directing, prop handling, 
lighting, editing, writing, set design. The only thing you 
haven't done is act."
	"That's why I want this part. I believe I can do it."
	"Well, you will need training."
	"That's no problem."
	"All right, you have two weeks. We begin filming two 
weeks from today."
	I smiled broadly. "Thank you." I walked out slowly as 
to not show my excitement over the deal. As soon as I was 
out of the building, I called Jeff on my cell phone. 
"Jeff," I said when he answered. "You know how we were all 
supposed to go to Australia over our hiatus, well, we'll 
have to cut two weeks out of it."
	"Why?" 
	"Because I just got us a job. I'll explain more when I 
get there." The ride went by quick and I didn't even have 
time to think about what I was going to say to Jeff, Sara 
and Nick.
	When I arrived at the studio, I practically leapt out 
of the car. I ran up the stairs to Jeff’s office. I was so 
excited, I forgot to knock and burst through the double 
doors into his huge office. Nick and Sara were there with 
Jeff discussing the episode they were filming that week. 
They all just stared at me when I burst through the doors. 
"I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d be in a meeting," I 
apologized.
	"It’s okay," Jeff said. "I actually called Nick and 
Sara up here for your announcement. Go ahead." Nick and 
Sara glanced at each other, not quite believing what they 
were hearing.
	I caught my breath and began to tell them what had 
just happened. "Have you heard of a show called ‘Angels 
Among Us’?" They nodded. "Well, I wrote a script for them 
and they bought it."
	"Well, congratulations." Nick chimed in.
	"But wait. There’s more. Nick, you and Sara are going 
to be in this episode."
	"What?" Sara said. 
	"That’s great!" Nick replied.
	"How did you manage this?" Jeff asked.
	"Well, I simply showed them my resume and told them I 
had the experience to start calling the shots. So I am in 
this episode, Nick and Sara are in this episode, and you 
are in this episode, Jeff."
	Now it was Jeff’s turn to be surprised. "What? You 
know I’ve only had that tiny cameo at the end of second 
season. I’m no actor."
	"Oh, Jeff, you think I would write a part with you in 
mind that you couldn’t play? Jeff, you’re playing a 
television show producer. Do you think you can handle 
that?" I asked him jokingly.
	He puffed up his chest and said in a throaty voice, 
"Why, yes, I believe I can."
	"I have copies of the script for you all." I reached 
behind me into my knapsack and pulled out three copies of 
the script. "If there are any rewrites, I will be sure to 
give them to you. We start filming two weeks from today." I 
turned and started to leave. That’s when I remembered 
something I forgot to tell them. "Oh, by the way, I need to 
learn how to act blind by the day we start filming. Any 
suggestions?"
	They were full of them, but in the end I ended up at 
the Los Angeles School for the Blind where I had wonderful 
teachers who showed me the finer points of using a seeing 
eye dog. They had wanted me to use a cane, but when I told 
them I had weak wrists, they consented to let me use a dog.
	The dog I was to use was named Brittany and she was a 
black Labrador Retriever. She was really gentle and could 
sense that I was new and had no idea what I was doing.
	Two weeks later, we were all ready to film. Everything 
went perfectly. After the first night of filming, Sara took 
me back to our favorite little tattoo parlor so I could get 
my fifth snake, this one for my acting debut. So far, no 
one knew of the tattoos on my back, except Sara. That 
night, Sara asked me after they had finished what I would 
do if I was nominated for awards. 
	"Nominations mean a lot, but they don’t mean enough to 
me to add a new snake. If I win, well, that’s another 
story."
	Two weeks later, we were done filming and on our way 
to spend two weeks in Australia. It was a vacation for all 
of us. Even though "Parallel" was shown in Australia, no 
one bothered us. It was really nice.
	One day, while relaxing by the pool, I began to notice 
something strange. There were times I couldn’t focus on 
things. I’d noticed it before, but I dismissed it as 
tiredness. But now I wasn’t tired, and I still had problems 
focusing. Oh well, I thought. I probably have some chlorine 
in my eyes or something. Little did I know that I had a 
serious problem.
	While on vacation, I began working on a new script for 
the show. I knew Jeff wouldn’t let me have it easy once we 
got back, so I figured I had better be ready.
	The two weeks in Australia flew by. I had finished two 
scripts and was ready to get back to work. But first I had 
to deal with the Golden Globes. The nominations were to be 
announced the Thursday of the week we got back. I got to 
take a little more of a break after we got back. Jeff had 
picked one of Steve’s scripts for the show and I had some 
time to myself. 
	All week I slept till 10 in the morning and lounged 
around in my pajamas all day. Thursday morning, at 5, my 
phone rang. Being right next to my bed, I picked up and 
groggily said, "What?"
	Jeff, on the other end of the line said, "We’re 
nominated for three Golden Globes!"
	"Yeah, Jeff." I said in a monotone voice. "Call me 
back at eight and tell me again, okay?" So at eight o’clock 
he called again. This time I was awake enough to understand 
him. He told me I didn’t have to go if I didn’t want to but 
it would be nice and the awards ceremony would be the 
second to last Sunday in January. I just told him I would 
think about it and hung up.
	The weeks went by quickly to the awards ceremony. One 
of my scripts that I had written in Australia was turned 
into an episode, which meant another snake on my back. As 
the day drew nearer, I began to notice that my sight was 
getting worse. It was getting harder and harder to see 
things. The day of the ceremony, Sara and I were getting 
ready together at my place. When I came out in my costume, 
she about fell over laughing. I wore a black pleated skirt 
with the show’s mantra, "Every choice has it’s 
consequences," written all over it in blue. My shirt was a 
little black v-necked halter-top that had the name of the 
show on the back in blue. Around my neck, wrists and ankles 
I wore charm bracelets with the letter "P" on them. They 
jingled when I walked. I even had "P" earrings. To top off 
the costume, I wore a headdress made of black and blue 
feathers with little "P" charms that hung down on my 
forehead. I drew the snake eating it’s tail, the same one I 
had tattooed on my back, on my cheeks in blue. "I am the 
goddess of the show," I proclaimed.
	Sara said, "Oh, it’s perfect. How on Earth did you 
come up with it?"
	"It came to me in a dream one night." I grinned 
broadly. We walked out to the limousine together. In the 
limo, Jeff and Nick couldn’t believe their eyes and Jenny 
just smiled. They just stared at me and wondered what was 
going through my mind. "I’ll behave myself," I told Jeff. 
	When we arrived at the auditorium, flash bulbs were 
going off everywhere. When I stepped out of the limo, all 
the attention turned to me. Everyone was trying to flag me 
down for an interview, but I did just as Jeff had 
instructed; I smiled and waved and ignored any attempts at 
interviews. The only one I couldn’t avoid was Joan Rivers.  
I told her why I was dressed the way I was and headed off 
with the rest of the cast to our table.
	I sat between Jeff and Sara and dozed through all the 
boring parts. When Jose Franco, star of the sit-com "AM-
FM," got up to announce the nominees for Best Actor in 
Dramatic Series, I perked up. When he mispronounced Nick’s 
last name, Nick stood up and started to walk up to the 
stage but changed his mind and pushed the air out of his 
way with his right hand as he headed back to his seat. When 
he won, we all leapt to our feet. He kissed Jenny, Sara 
kissed him on the cheek, and I gave him a double high five, 
having to stand on my chair to reach. The whole crowd was 
applauding and laughing.
	After his short acceptance speech, he was led off the 
stage to go back and talk to the press. But before he got 
back, they announced the Best Actress in a Dramatic Series. 
Sara won and we all hugged and that was when I glimpsed 
Nick off in the wings. They had planned it that way so they 
could give their statements to the press together.
	About five minutes later, they both returned empty-
handed. We all knew that the awards were taken away and 
engraved. It was getting close to the end of the show and 
the Best Dramatic Series was up next. When the show was 
announced the winner, I leapt to my feet and did a little 
dance. That’s when Jeff scooped me up and carried me to the 
stage. Behind us, Nick and Sara kissed, causing the fans in 
the balcony to go nuts. When we all climbed on stage, they 
presented the award to Jeff who gave a short acceptance 
speech and we all trekked off stage.
	When we reached backstage, Nick and Sara were given 
their awards back, this time with their names on them, and 
we went to the pressroom. All the flashing blinded me. When 
I felt Jeff tap my shoulder, and saw a blurred image of him 
pointing to one photographer in particular, I turned there 
and smiled. A reported stood up and asked, "Where did you 
come up with that character?"
	Sara tapped me on the back and whispered in my ear, 
"He’s asking you."
	"The goddess of the show came to me in a dream and 
said I should take on the character. So I did." A few more 
questions and we were done. We were led back to our table 
for the closing of the show and then found our way out to 
our limo. I clung to Sara the entire way, for I still 
couldn’t see from all the flashes.
	When I got back to my apartment, I quickly changed and 
went to bed, figuring my site would return in the morning. 
It did, to an extent.
	Two weeks later, the episode that I had written for 
"Angels Among Us" aired. I felt so excited. That night as I 
went to bed, I thought nothing could spoil my life.
	The next morning, when I woke up, all I saw was 
darkness. I thought someone was playing a trick on me. I 
ran my hands over my face expecting to find some kind of 
blind fold. There was none. I reached for my nightlight, 
thinking that all the lights were off and the shades were 
drawn. When I turned on the light, I still couldn’t see 
anything. That’s when it hit me: I was blind.
	I picked up my phone and somehow managed to dial Sara. 
She came over right away. She took me to the doctor who 
diagnosed me as being blind. I would never get my sight 
back.

	Several months later, in May, I was once again sound 
asleep. At five in the morning my phone rang. It was Jeff. 
I wasn’t awake enough to even comprehend what he was 
saying. He kept saying something about "four wards." I 
finally gave up and told him to call me back later, because 
I couldn’t understand him. At eight, he called back again. 
I was awake and he told me that I was nominated for four 
Emmy Awards: one for directing, one for editing, and two 
for writing. I was in shock.
	When the big day finally arrived, I realized I was 
going to have to go out and accept the awards. I had missed 
the night before, where I won Best Single Camera Editing; I 
didn’t want people to know I was blind. Now it was the next 
night, the night of the main awards. I had to go out and 
face the world. 
	A month earlier, I had put my trust in Sara to find me 
a dress and jewelry that would look good on me. She looked 
all over. She found one jeweler who had created a sapphire 
necklace similar to that of "The Heart of the Ocean" in the 
movie "Titanic." He wanted me to wear it to the ceremony. 
Sara agreed to take the necklace to me and promised him 
that I would wear it. After she found the necklace, she had 
so many problems finding a dress. That’s when I told her of 
my navy blue prom dress. I told her that I wanted to 
remember where I was from, that I could have all this taken 
away at any moment. She agreed and went and found my prom 
dress.
	That night, when I won Outstanding Directing in a 
Dramatic Series and Outstanding Writing in a Dramatic 
Series, I took Jeff on stage with me. Everyone thought it 
was because he was the one who had helped me to obtain 
these goals. The real reason was because I couldn’t bring 
my dog, Brittany with me. 
	The year before, the academy had introduced a new 
award, the Millennium Award. It was to be given to a rising 
star that would lead the industry into the next millennium. 
No one knew who would be nominated for it, not even the 
nominees. The year it was first introduced, Sara got the 
chance to present the award to Calistia. This year, 
Calistia was presenting the award the new recipient. 
Surprisingly, I was one of the nominees. When I won, I had 
no idea what to do. I knew I couldn’t bring everyone up 
there. I tapped Nick on the shoulder and whispered to him, 
"Help me up there." He took my arm and walked me up the 
aisle to the stage. As we approached the steps, he told me 
when to step up. The room was dead silent. The people 
couldn’t quite believe what they were seeing. When I 
slipped on the second step, there was a collective gasp as 
Nick caught me and we started from the bottom again.
	When we reached the top of the stage, he took my hand 
led it to the podium. He took the award from Calistia and 
placed it in my hands. He then went back to his seat. I 
stood there for a moment, clutching the heavy award, not 
knowing what to say. Then it came to me. 
	"There are no words to express my appreciation towards 
the Academy for bestowing upon me this great honor. All I 
can say is that my life has been a procession of moments. 
The moment Jeff read my story and thought it would make a 
great script. The moment Nick and Sara played their 
characters to perfection when I made my directorial debut. 
The moment I made my acting debut playing a blind girl. The 
moment I found out I was blind. I have not had one moment 
in time, but several and this is one of them. Thank you."
	I never saw what the audience did, but I heard about 
it the next morning on the news. I received a standing 
ovation as Nick, Sara, and Jeff came up on stage to lead me 
to the pressroom. I received so many invitations to do talk 
shows and radio shows that I didn’t know what to do. I 
eventually sat down and wrote my story. The same story you 
have been reading.