More to Love (VOY, P/K, NC-17)
by Derora (derora@erols.com)


Warning: This story is a brief interlude in the romantic and 
sexual lives of Tom Paris and Harry Kim.  If the notion of 
consenting male adults being in love and having sex 
disturbs you, or if you are underage, then just be on your 
way.  And if it doesn't disturb you, well, welcome to the 
show.

Disclaimer:  Paramount is God.  Bend over, grab your 
ankles, and worship loudly.  (Seriously, no infringement of 
copyright is intended.)

Do not archive, re-post or use this piece of original fiction on 
any other list or web site without my permission.

Personal Notes:  Thanks to Stef for her editing talents, to 
Smaragd for beta reading, and to Helmboy for crossing 
camps to give me an opinion.  Feedback is welcome to 
derora@erols.com and always answered!

Summary:  Tom's insecurities require some loving 
reassurance from Harry.

*****

More to Love


"No, Harry."

Harry was so shocked at Tom's words that he stopped with 
his hands in mid-air.  "Excuse me?"

"Please don't."

"Don't what?"

"Undress me."

"Tom, what's the matter?  Why don't you want me to 
undress you?"

"I can't."

"You can't what?"

"I just can't."

Harry sighed.  It had been a long shift, dinner was inedible, 
and all he wanted to do was make love with Tom and go to 
sleep.  //My brain must be offline tonight.  I do not 
understand *what* he was saying.  Or not saying.//

"Tom, tell me what's wrong.  Please?"

"Can't."

"Don't you want to make love tonight, sweetheart?"

"Yes..."

"Then please?  Tell me?"

Tom wrapped his arms around himself so tightly that it 
seemed to Harry as if he were trying to protect himself 
against the world.  He looked so...fragile.  He turned his 
back to Harry, which he rarely did, and looked out of the 
viewport as if searching for the secrets of the universe.

Harry tried again.  "Tom?"   He reached out and gently 
placed his hand on the back of Tom's uniform jacket, daring 
to rub small circles of comfort there.

The silence in Tom's quarters was deafening as Harry 
watched his best friend and lover almost fold in on himself.  
After several long minutes, he leaned back a little into the 
warmth of Harry's hand and seemed to pull himself together 
a bit.  "I'm sorry, Harry," he said softly.  "It's not you.  It's 
me."

"What's you?"

"I...I don't..I don't want you to see me naked."  Tom let out a 
deep sigh and dropped his head.

Harry didn't know what to say to that.  He had been seeing 
Tom naked for almost a year now, and Tom had always 
seemed unabashedly comfortable with nudity.  This didn't 
seem to be the time to remind him of that, though, or to give 
in to his impulse to laugh.  "Tom, please tell me what's 
wrong.  You're scaring me here."

His head went even lower, but Tom finally did mumble a 
reply.  "I found a holopic of me today, from about five years 
ago.  I hadn't really noticed, until I saw it, just how much 
weight I'd gained recently.  I look like a pig, Harry!"  Tom's 
voice broke and he seemed to tremble under the force of 
carrying this shame.

Harry, however, was dumbfounded.  //Yeah, maybe Tom 
had gained a few pounds, but so had he.  So had everyone 
out here.  Too much work and not enough exercise.  And 
Neelix's food tends to be a little heavy on the sauces.  Oh, 
hell.//

Harry quickly moved to gather Tom in his arms and leaned 
up against his back.  He could feel Tom's body shaking 
under his hands.

"Oh, love, please don't. You most certainly do not look like a 
pig!  C'mom baby, turn around and talk to me."

Tom just shook his head.  He was allowing Harry to hold 
him, but certainly not cooperating with Harry's attempt to 
comfort him.  Harry let out a quiet sign under his breath.  
//Tom actually looks better now -- less like a stick and softer 
to hold.  So, how to explain this to Tom and still reassure 
him?  First things first.//  

Harry moved away from Tom and moved quietly and quickly 
to accomplish the first part of his goal.  "Tom.  Turn around 
and look at me."

//Well, that seemed to get his attention.//  Tom turned, and 
his eyes widened at the sight of Harry, standing before him 
naked.

"Harry, how did you get your uniform off so quickly?"

"Tom, I want you to listen to me carefully.  Look at me, really 
look at me.  You see this?"  Harry pinched the skin on his 
thigh and held it between his thumb and index fingers, 
pulling it outwards.  "Know what this is, Tom?  Fat."  

Tom started to answer him, "No, Har...."

But Harry wasn't done.  He placed both hands on his 
stomach, and jiggled it up and down.  "Fat."  He noticed a 
small smile start to form on Tom's face.  Harry then turned 
his back to Tom, stuck his rear end out towards his newly 
reluctant lover, and wiggled it at him.  "Fat."  He gave a 
small sigh of relief at the sound of Tom's laugh.

"See, love, we've *all* gained weight out here.  Gods know, I 
have.  It's hard not to, with what Neelix cooks and no time or 
motivation for exercise."  Harry stepped close to Tom; he 
wanted to be touching him for this next part.  With his hands 
holding Tom's face, he said, "Yes, even you, the ship's 
official beanpole, have gained a few pounds."  Tom tried to 
duck his head, but Harry's strong fingers held him still.  "Can 
I tell you how I feel about that?"

Tom looked a bit scared, but nodded his head. 

"I think it looks gorgeous on you."  At Tom's look of 
astounded disbelief, Harry hurried to continue.  "Your face 
looks younger, more open.  And happier."  Harry softly 
brushed his thumbs across Tom's cheekbones. "You feel so 
much softer when I hold you.  No more bony hips stabbing 
me, which makes our lovemaking much more comfortable.  I 
can now take your ass in my hands and get a good hold on 
it, not slide right off."  As his hands moved down to illustrate 
his point, Harry was pleased to see the blush on Tom's 
cheeks and to see that smile return.  "And you know what, 
baby?"

"What?"

Harry leaned in very close to tongue the curve of Tom's ear, 
and then whispered into it, "I think your cock has gained a 
few ounces, too.  And that makes me *very* happy."  He 
trailed a line of kisses across Tom's cheek and down the 
side of his throat, relieved to feel Tom finally relaxing 
beneath his wandering hands.

He pulled back a little to make sure that Tom's eyes 
revealed his improved state of mind.  "Better, love?"

"Better.  You always do that to me, Harry.  You make 
everything better."

"That's what I'm here for.  And that's what you do for me, 
too."

"Tell me?"  Tom's voice was soft, pleading, as he held onto 
Harry's arms that were hugging his waist.

"Tell you what?"

"How I make things better for you."

"Ah, Tom, don't you know, love?"  At Tom's small shrug, 
Harry dove in for a swift kiss, then led him over to the 
loveseat in the corner of the room.  He settled himself 
against the armrest, then drew Tom down to sit between his 
legs.  Waiting patiently for him to kick off his boots, he then 
arranged Tom to his liking, pulling him back to rest against 
his chest, Tom's head cradled against his broad shoulder.  
"Comfy, love?"

"Uh huh."

"So," Harry said, wrapping his arms securely around Tom's 
waist.  He noted with silent pleasure how his arms pillowed 
themselves on the softness of Tom's stomach.  "How do you 
make things better for me?  So many ways, Tommylove.  
You beat me unmercifully at pool, then buy me dinner with 
my own rations.  You let me play the clarinet endlessly, and 
no matter how bored you really are, you tell me I'm 
wonderful."  Harry had to stop and laugh at the sheepish 
look on Tom's face.  He couldn't be annoyed with him, he 
just snuggled him closer and continued.

"You fly the pants off any pilot I've ever seen, and make me 
look good when I press a button or two.  You throw together 
a little holodeck program, and take me to anywhere I want to 
go, and even places I didn't know I wanted to go.  You smile 
at me...gods, that smile of yours...and I feel like I've been 
blessed by royalty. You kiss me, and I come.  That's all it 
takes, sometimes.  No one ever did that to me before."  At 
Tom's smile into his shoulder, Harry bent and kissed him, 
softly but thoroughly.  "You love me," he whispered.  "That's 
all I need, Tom, to make me happy.  You love me."

Harry's arms tightened around Tom as he placed his lips 
close to Tom's ear.  "And I will always love you, Tom Paris.  
Always.  It doesn't matter how you change, I will still love 
you.  I want to grow old with you.  I want us to die in each 
other's arms, ancient, fat, bald, wrinkled, and naked.  
Preferably with your cock still inside me."  Harry sucked a bit 
of the soft skin of Tom's neck into his mouth and gently held 
it there for a moment.  Releasing it, he asked, "You got all 
that, Tommylove?"

Tom's answer was to twist around in Harry's arms and latch 
his mouth onto his love's in a searing kiss. Even while Tom 
was still kissing him, Harry could feel that he was resisting 
letting his full weight rest on him.  He petted and soothed 
and tugged until Tom gave in and went limp against him.  
//Well, not entirely limp.//  

When Tom lifted up, gasping for air, Harry took advantage of 
the opportunity to steal a hand between their bodies and 
tease a nipple that he found along the way.  He traced the 
aureole slowly through the fabric of Tom's uniform, rejoicing 
in every bump of arousal he raised and every moan he 
coaxed from his love.  Holding Tom's nipple carefully, he 
gently rubbed and pinched it in an attempt to increase his 
pleasure.  Tom's gasp of arousal told Harry he had 
succeeded.

"You like that, love?"

"You have to ask?" Tom groaned.  His eyes drifted closed 
Harry unfastened his jacket and crept inside it, stroking his 
neck and chest over his turtleneck in patterns both soothing 
and arousing.  

"And that, love?  You like that?"

"Harry!"  Without Tom really registering how it had 
happened, Harry had pushed his jacket off his arms and 
removed his turtleneck.  His tongue was now on Tom's 
throat, tracing a path of pleasure.  Tom raised himself up a 
bit, urging Harry's tongue towards his nipple, frantic to feel it 
there.  A hoarse groan escaped his lips when it  finally 
came, hot and wet, pulling and soothing.  Harry knew that 
feeling well.  A man could get lost in that feeling.

"Tom?"

He could see that Tom had not even registered the loss of 
his tongue; he knew from experience that Tom could almost 
still feel it, warm and moist at his breast.  Harry smiled at 
Tom's disorientation as he tried to make his eyes and brain 
focus on the face of his lover.

"Will you let me make love to you now?"  Harry's expression 
was soft, loving, and...hungry.  He knew Tom was helpless 
to resist that look, and shamelessly used it to his advantage.

"Yes," he whispered.  Harry's smile at that was powerful 
enough to vanquish any remaining insecurities.

"Stand up for me, Tommylove."  Tom immediately lifted 
himself up, and Harry assisted until he was standing in front 
of him.  He drew Tom between his knees, and removed the 
rest of Tom's uniform slowly and tenderly, drawing out each 
movement as much as possible, and caressing Tom with 
every piece of clothing he removed.  When Tom stood 
naked in front of him, he did not stare at him as he longed 
to, afraid that his skittishness would return.  Instead, he 
gave Tom's penis a soft pat, and then stood to lead him over 
to the bed.

"I want you to lie on top of me, love.  On your back, like 
before."  Harry piled up the pillows at the head of the bed 
and reclined against them, then helped Tom settle against 
his chest.  This time, however, he did not wrap his arms 
around his lover.  Rather, he began to move his fingers over 
Tom's skin, very gently.  He started on his face, caressing 
the pale cheek resting on his shoulder, running a finger 
down the aristocratic nose, and gliding over Tom's thin lips, 
which were moist and open for him.  Harry dipped a finger in 
briefly, but pulled out before Tom could close on it. 

"Not yet, Tom.  It's my turn to love you, and I plan to do it my 
way."  Harry chuckled at the pout on Tom's face, but 
placated him by digging his fingers into the pilot's hair and 
massaging his scalp.  Tom's groan of appreciation brought 
another smile to Harry's face.

Harry's hands slipped to Tom's throat, where he lightly 
fondled the hint of a double chin that lay there.  At Tom's 
small movement of distress, Harry quickly lowered his head 
and sucked Tom's earlobe into his mouth.  Releasing it, he 
whispered, "I want to love all of you, Tom.  Every single 
inch, whether you want it to be there or not.  I want to show 
you how beautiful you are to me, just as you are."

Tom moaned his acceptance, and leaned his head back 
against Harry's shoulder again.  The ensign was quick to 
take advantage, bending to lick Tom's throat and kiss the 
side of his mouth.  Before Tom could react, Harry drew back 
and his fingers again started their quest to map Tom's body.  

He moved down Tom's chest, and rubbed his palms over 
the erect nipples waiting there for him, drawing small circles 
and eliciting another groan of pleasure from the man on top 
of him.  Stealing a small kiss on Tom's neck, Harry moved 
his hands to Tom's waist, squeezing and caressing the soft 
flesh he found.  This time, Tom did not protest his being 
there, so Harry took advantage of the moment to really feel 
the pliancy of Tom's stomach, thoroughly enjoying the 
response of it under his fingers. 

He strongly suspected that Tom wanted his hands to move 
to his cock next, but Harry wasn't ready to forego this 
pleasure just yet.  He moved his hands back to Tom's 
shoulders, and massaged them briefly before starting a slow 
glide down his arms.  Along his biceps, he took a moment to 
caress the soft skin on the underside, and to press against 
the cushioning he found there.  Harry then rubbed his way 
down Tom's arms, stroking all the skin he could reach.  Only 
then did his hands move to Tom's hips, where they were 
greeted with a grateful sigh of pleasure from his lover.

"I can't stand it, love," Tom whispered.  "Please, touch me."

"I am touching you," Harry whispered back with a smile.

"Harry!"  Tom's yell of impatience was stilled almost 
instantly by Harry's hands starting another foray, this time 
down the sides of his hips.  But rather than advancing 
forward, Harry instead maneuvered his fingers between their 
bodies in order to caress as much of Tom's ass as he could 
reach.  This was what Harry wanted most.  To feel that 
softness under his fingers, to grab on and be able to really 
hold Tom, to let him know through touch alone that he 
cherished everything about him.  He felt Tom arching his 
back and raising his ass slightly, so he took full advantage of 
it and cupped his palms under the cheeks waiting there, 
gripping them gently and massaging the springy flesh with 
his fingers.

The movement of his hands against Tom's ass was also 
brushing against his own cock, and he felt it begin to fill from 
the stimulation.  Things were moving along a bit faster than 
he wanted, so he decided that it was time for the next stage.

Keeping one hand sandwiched between Tom's ass and his 
own cock, Harry moved the other to briefly fondle a pliant 
thigh, then wrap around the hard shaft he knew was waiting 
for him.  Tom's moan of pleasure and his whispered, 
"Harrylove" was the reward for this, and he happily set about 
to caress the length of Tom's cock and squeeze it gently.  At 
the same time, he tried to maneuver his hand that was on 
Tom's ass to reach between the cheeks.  

"Spread your legs for me, love."  Tom did so readily, and 
Harry moved his finger so that he could brush it over Tom's 
anus, pushing gently until the tip of it was drawn inside.  
"Lube?" Harry whispered.

"Under the pillow, I think."  Harry had to let go of Tom's 
cock, so he made the search as quickly as possible, 
grabbing the tube and popping the lid with his thumb.  He 
pulled his other hand out from beneath Tom, and palmed a 
squirt of lube to warm it before spreading it lightly over 
Tom's cock, then on his own and into Tom's opening, 
preparing him as best he could from his awkward position.

"Tom, I want you to lift up for me, OK?"  Harry helped Tom 
brace himself on his arms and feet, then let go to quickly 
spread Tom's cheeks and placed his cock at the small 
opening.  "We're going to let you down slowly, now, love."  
And inch by inch, he controlled Tom's descent onto his 
waiting cock.  The aroused moans of both men filled Tom's 
quarters.

Harry waited a few moments until Tom adjusted to this 
position, soothing him with his lips and arousing him with his 
hands.  He slowly began pumping his hips upward, driving 
his cock deep into Tom, and listening carefully for each 
moan, whimper, or sign he pulled from his lover.  And with 
each thrust, Harry's hands glided across Tom's skin, 
caressing and fondling all the soft, comfy spots he could 
find.  Harry felt so powerful, holding Tom like this.  He 
wanted to show him how important he was to him, how 
much he cherished him.  But at the moment, all he could do 
was fuck him.

And fuck him, he did.  He reached for Tom's cock, and 
rubbed the tip of it with his palm.  Hearing Tom's gasp at the 
overload of sensation this caused, he took pity on him and 
moved his hand down his hard shaft, grasping it firmly and 
pumping it in time with his own frantic movements.  Through 
the roar of blood in his ears, he heard Tom's pleas for 
release, and felt his arms come up to circle his head.  He 
could feel Tom's orgasm as it hit, the arch of tension in his 
back and the warm spill of his cream over his hand.  Harry 
held on tightly to Tom as he quickened his thrusts and 
spilled gratefully into his beloved friend, moaning his name.

Tom's body was a warm, damp blanket over Harry, but he 
held onto him tightly, cherishing the closeness.  When Tom 
caught his breath, he pulled Harry close, and craned his 
neck back to give him a long, soft kiss.  As Tom broke off to 
breathe, Harry asked, "Everything OK now, love?  Have I 
convinced you now that I love you just the way you are?"

Tom laughed, then replied, "Oh, I'm just not sure, Harry.  
Think you could tell me again?"

~end~