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Disclaimer time once again!   Ninety-second verse same as 
the first . .everybody *sing*:

I don't own these characters, (chorus) Paramount does!
I don't own this venue, (chorus) Paramount does!
I am making no money off of this, (chorus) Paramount does 
not either!

This story involves love and sex and affection between two 
men, aka: slash.  If that is *not* your cup of tea, sweet as it 
is, then don't read it!  (simple, ain't it??) Feedback is *very* 
much appreciated, and always answered.  Flames will be 
passed around to friends and chuckled over.  :)

Thirty-ninth story in the Stage Direction series.  Sequel to 
'Ssst', 'Growl', 'Chuckle', 'Sob', 'Grin', 'Sigh', 'Smile', 'Yawn', 
'Whisper', 'Groan', 'Hover', 'Waffle', 'Comfort', 'Fidget', 
'Grimace', 'Sizzle', 'Glare', 'Shrug', 'Doze', 'Snort', 'Whack', 
'Stretch', 'Snicker', 'Pace', 'Hug', 'Clink', 'Wonder', 'Kiss', 
'Doubt', 'Surprise', 'Cuddle', 'Ahem', 'Confer', 'Recover', 
'Rant', 'Soothe', 'Hold', and 'Whistle'.

'Feel' by Amirin <groh@iquest.net>


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We stayed in bed for as long as we could.  It wasn't long 
enough to suit me, certainly, but we have tonight.  And, with 
any luck, we'll have many, many more nights.

<sigh>

It seems like we've been together much longer than we 
actually have. I must say, it surprises me somewhat to 
realize that we've only been keeping company since Tom 
came out of his coma . . . what has it been?  Four days ago? 
Goodness.

<wry grin>

He has quite the reputation for moving quickly, but this isn't 
like that.  I know it.  And I know he knows it.  This is 
uncharted territory.  For both of us.  And the journey has 
been wondrous.

<soft smile>  <contented sigh>

Tom left a little bit ago, after our shower, to grab some fresh 
clothes.  That should certainly raise a few eyebrows, when 
he shows up in the mess hall in different clothing than he 
was wearing this morning.  Oh, my, yes.

<snort>

They'll just have to get used it, won't they?  He and I are 
together, by choice and design.  And I'm not letting him go. 
I couldn't bear it, if I had to.

<warm smile>

It was hard enough letting him go back to his quarters to 
change, for heavens sake.  I can't imagine how hard it would 
be to let him out of my life.

<sigh>  <rub hands briskly>

Well, I should get going, I suppose.  I don't want him having 
to wait for me . . .


                  <<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>


Okay, this is nuts.  I've been standing here in front of my 
closet for the last ten minutes, trying to figure out what to 
wear.  Like it matters.  Shit.

<sigh>

<breee-oop>

<warm smile>  Ha.  Bet I know who that is . . .  "Come." 
<smile melts away completely>  <cautiously>  "Harry?"

<swallow>  <quietly>  "Hi."

<pause>  <hesitantly>  "Hi."

<deep breath>  "How are you?"

<shrug>  "Fine.  Mostly.  You?"

<quick nod>  "Fine, fine." 

<awkward silence>

"I, uh, I heard about this morning . . . in the mess hall?  You 
and, um, Neelix?"

<inward sigh>  <quietly>  "And?"

<stammer>  "I just wanted to . . . I mean, I thought, maybe . . ."  
<sigh>  "Look, you don't have to do this, all right?"

<frown> "Don't have to do *what*?  What are you talking 
about?"

<moves closer>  <softly>  "You don't have to get involved 
with *Neelix*, of all people.  Not when you really want *me*."

<incredulously>  "*What*?  Now wait just a damned minute . . ."

<whisper>  "I've missed you.  You have no idea how much. 
I've done a lot of thinking, lately, about us, about everything . . ."

<interrupts>  "Harry, listen to me . . ."

<hurriedly>   "Tom, it's okay, really.  I understand.  I mean, 
now we're even, right?"

<shakes head> <stunned>  "Har, no . . ."

<smile>  "Shhh.  I understand.  I really do.  It's okay . . ." 
<run hands up chest>  <murmur> "Missed you, so much . . ." 
<kiss>

<pull away>  <grab hands> <firmly> "Listen to me. I want 
you to listen to me . . ."

<shake head> <try to move closer>  "You don't need to say 
anything.  I understand . . ."

<interrupts harshly>  "Will you stop *saying* that?  Har, you 
don't understand a damned thing . . ."

<shaky smile>  "Tom, *please* . . ."

<hard look>  "No.  No way in hell. You had your shot, Harry. 
And you threw it, and me, away.  I'm not going back to that. 
I'm *not*.  Do you hear me?"

<pleading>  "Tom . . ."

<shake head> <softly>  "I'm with Neelix because I *want* to 
be.  This is not some stunt to get you back, or get B'Elanna 
back, or anything of the kind.  I *adore* Neelix, Harry . . ."

<disbelieving>  "Since *when*?"

<slight grin>  <whisper>  "It feels like forever.  Harry, he . . . 
loves me. Just me. He's not pretending, he's not faking it, 
he's not using me . . ."

<angry>  "Are you so sure about that?  What makes you 
think he isn't using you as a substitute for *Kes*?"

<cold and quiet>  "He wouldn't do that to me, Har.  He isn't 
*you*."

<choked>  "That was low."

<shake head sorrowfully>  "That wasn't anywhere near as 
low as fucking your best friend and wishing he were 
somebody else."  <sigh>  "Look, this isn't going *anywhere*. 
I'm with Neelix.  Get used to it.  Because I intend to *stay* 
with Neelix, Harry."

<shake head> <upset>  "You're out of your mind. I think 
whatever happened to you fried you more than you know. 
Come *on*, Tom.  *Think* about it.  For just a moment, let's 
deal with reality, here, okay?"

<quietly>  "The reality is that I love him. Harry, listen to what 
I'm saying.  *I* *love* *him*.  And I can't help the fact that 
you don't get it, or can't handle it."

<agitated>  "You don't know what you're *saying* . . ."

<snort>  <sigh>  "I know what I'm feeling."  <shrug>

<rake hands through hair> "And that's *it*!?"

<wistful smile>  "Oh, Harry.  Don't you see?  That's 
*everything*."


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