Disclaimer time once again! Thirty-fourth verse same as the 
first . .everybody *sing*:

I don't own these characters, (chorus) Paramount does!
I don't own this venue, (chorus) Paramount does!
I am making no money off of this, (chorus) Paramount does 
not either!

This story involves warmth, love, and passion between two 
men, a.k.a slash.  The sex is 'off-screen'.  If that is *not* 
your cup of tea, sweet as it is, then don't read it!  (simple, 
ain't it??)
Feedback is *very* much appreciated, and always 
answered.  Flames will be passed around to friends and 
chuckled over.  :)

This story has nothing to do with anything I've ever written 
before.  It's part of no series, nor is it a sequel to anything. 
Yeah, I know, it's amazing.  Be quiet.

Death Warnings - Character Deaths.  Keep hankies close 
by, and avoid drinking anything, just in case.  You may 
laugh, you may cry, you may come after me with heavy 
artillery . . . :)


'Resurrection' by Amirin


****************************************************


"Commander Chakotay, may I have a word with you?" 
Lechan asked quietly, feeling slightly out of his depth in 
dealing with these strangers.  But, as long as there was 
some doubt, he had no choice.  The Law was the Law.

"Certainly," Chakotay answered, smiling in a friendly manner 
at the young man's nervousness.

"Your Lieutenant Paris communicated something earlier to 
Meikan, my intended," Lechan began, growing more 
concerned at the slight flinch on the Commander's face. 

"What did he say?" Chakotay asked tiredly, wondering what 
the man had done *now*.

"He wished her every happiness at our upcoming joining, 
then kissed her hand," Lechan explained.  "I was concerned 
about his . . . sincerity."

Chakotay heaved a sigh of relief.  Spirits, was that all?  

"I'm sure he meant it," the Commander said, meeting the 
young man's seriousness with his own as he placed a hand 
on Lechan's angular shoulder. 

"I appreciate your . . . honesty, given the circumstances," 
Lechan said soberly.

Chakotay frowned a bit at the phrasing, but the universal 
translators weren't a hundred percent accurate with this 
particular race of people.  Small nuances had been lost 
since the beginning, with regards to their language system.

"Not at all," Chakotay assured him. "Open negotiations 
between us *depend* on honest communication."

Lechan nodded, looking more at ease than Chakotay had 
ever seen him.  "It is always such a relief to find one who 
understands the importance of the Law," Lechan said softly. 
"You will be pleasantly compensated for this.  Such things 
are taken quite seriously," the young man smiled, extending 
a hand to shake in the human fashion, heading off to do 
what he must, according to the Law, before going to find 
Meikan, who was waiting in the gardens.

Chakotay shrugged inwardly, puzzled, yet pleased at having 
averted a possible problem.  This one didn't seem to be 
Tom's fault at all, for once.  Just a slight misunderstanding. 
He headed back to join the rest of his away team, looking 
forward to the welcoming banquet that evening.


                      <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


"You're certain?" Meikan asked, wringing her hands together 
in agitation, before Lechan took them tenderly in his own.

"His Commander confirmed it," Lechan soothed her. 

"He seemed like such a nice man," she said quietly.

"It was the fault of his parents," her future mate said firmly. 
"We will correct their mistakes."

"I hate it that you have to leave me," Meikan sighed, coming 
into the loving embrace of her intended.

"It's not for long," Lechan whispered into the curls around 
her ears.  "Just long enough to see them safely to the 
Gateway.  Then, I'll be back so quickly, our bed won't have 
time to grow cold."

Meikan laughed lightly, as he had hoped. "Hurry off, fulfill his 
request, then come back to me," she murmured against the 
soft lips touching hers. "And we can begin preparing for the 
arrival of our first son."

"You don't mind, do you?" Lechan asked, holding his love at 
arm's length.

Meikan shook her head.  "No, of course not," she said with a 
soft smile.  "I understand my duty according to the Law and 
accept it, willingly.  Of course, it will be hard for *him*, being 
the only human on the planet," she lamented quietly.

"But, he will be raised right, by us, in compliance with the 
Law," Lechan said, smiling at his beloved.  "Balance will be 
restored."

"Praised be the Power," Meikan replied, sliding her arms 
around Lechan as they said their goodbyes.

"Praised be the Power," he answered, changing shape 
before her into the man he had executed earlier, becoming a 
little taller, hair blond, eyes blue, wearing a Starfleet 
Lieutenant's command uniform and rank.  His hand tapped 
the device that signaled the orbiting ship.

"Paris to Voyager," he said, winking at his love.  "One to 
beam up."


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


"I still don't see why Tom can't tell us where the hell we're 
going," B'Elanna groused, glaring at Harry, as they walked 
briskly to Engineering.

"It was part of the deal," Harry replied sensibly for the 
umpteenth time.

"So, we head to this Gateway, he enters the coordinates, 
and *bam*, we're back in the Alpha Quadrant?" B'Elanna 
asked, her voice rising along with her incredulity.  "It's too 
*easy*, Starfleet.  Something's not right, here."  

"Tom's the pilot; he's going to be making the flight," Harry 
sighed.  "He's checked over everything, worked with their 
people for the last four days. Everything will be fine, you'll 
see."

"I can't believe even the *Captain* doesn't know," B'Elanna 
glowered as the doors to Engineering opened before her. 

"It was . . " Harry began.

"I know," she interrupted.

"Part of the deal," they chorused in unison, before snorting 
at one another and heading to their posts.


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Lechan smiled automatically at the people who smiled at 
him and sighed.  By the stars, he missed Meikan, he 
thought, as he headed to the quarters of his future son.  The 
doors closed behind him and he stretched, allowing his own 
form to reveal itself for an instant, before taking the 
Lieutenant's again.  He walked into the bedroom and gazed 
at the small device on the table by the bed.  They could 
have gone ahead with the implantation before he left, but he 
didn't want to miss a moment of Meikan's pregnancy.  The 
embryo was in perfect health, resting in something much like 
the stasis chamber Voyager's intriguing artificial doctor 
used.

He undressed quickly, more tired than usual of late.  So 
much of his energy was being used to complete Tom's last 
request, to bring his ship and crew home.  After stunning the 
man, Lechan had explained to Tom the crime he had 
committed and the price he was to pay for it.  The alien had 
been slightly taken aback at the tears which fell from the 
paralyzed man's blue eyes, but it could not delay the 
inevitable.  He had told Tom that he would be granted the 
opportunity for the rebirth, as was the norm for those 
executed for crimes against the Society, even though he 
was human. That Tom would be born to Lechan and Meikan 
and raised as their own, correctly, using the guidelines 
written into the Law millennia ago.  At that point, he had 
asked Tom to visualize his final request, that the device 
might record it, enabling Lechan to give closure to the other 
man's life.  

The Gateway hadn't been used by their people in decades. 
There was no need for it any longer since their ships were 
now equipped with technology that rendered it obsolete, yet 
there it remained, a monument more than anything.  But, it 
could be used to send Tom's ship and crew home, fulfilling 
his greatest wish.

Lechan had been surprised at the emphasis the man had 
placed upon this.  It had been the only thing in Tom's mind 
at the moment of his death, the alien mused as he got under 
the covers and gazed at the softly glowing object next to the 
bed.

"Sleep sweetly, little one," Lechan whispered softly as he 
reached out and turned the small cylinder around in his 
hand, then placed it gently upon the table once again.


                     <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Chakotay sat quietly, looking at the back of Tom's head. The 
man had been strangely quiet of late, more serious than 
usual, and he wondered if Tom was worrying about his 
future, what path life would put him on after they returned 
home. He had tried to speak with him about it, but Paris had 
only smiled oddly at him, thanked him politely, and refused 
to discuss the matter. The voice of the pilot who was 
currently occupying his thoughts startled the Commander 
from his reverie.

"We're coming into visual range of the Gateway," the 
Lieutenant said, looking back over his shoulder at Captain 
Janeway.

"On screen," she replied instantly, leaning forward in her 
chair to see the ancient portal that would *finally* be sending 
her crew home. The grid came into view immediately, 
marked by small buoys at regular intervals.

"Harry, Seven, get to it," she ordered the pair in 
Astrometrics, who had been preparing to record and analyze 
every bit of information about the Gateway since they had 
found out about it.

"Entering coordinates now, Captain," Lechan said, using 
Tom's voice softly, almost reverently, still in awe at this 
masterwork of his ancestors.  The grid reacted instantly and 
the appropriate square increased in size, growing large 
enough to take the ship through.  A small vortex appeared at 
the center of it and Janeway acknowledged Harry's report 
that a probe had been launched into the swirling eddies of 
blue and gray.  The results came back quickly and were met 
with sighs of relief by some, gasps of joy from others.  The 
Alpha Quadrant lay on the other side of that vortex.

"Take us home, Mr. Paris," Janeway said, smiling at 
Chakotay, seeing his face respond in kind.

"I regret that I am unable to do so, Captain," Lechan said 
quietly, turning around and letting the illusion of being Tom 
Paris vanish like smoke.  He stood slowly, mindful of 
Tuvok's rapidly drawn phaser.  "I mean you no harm," he 
said, smiling.  "I have fulfilled your pilot's request and it's 
time for me to leave."

"Where is Lieutenant Paris?" Janeway asked, her voice like 
stone.

Lechan swallowed heavily at the anger in her tone.  "He was 
executed for his crime against the Society," the alien said 
carefully, frowning at Chakotay.  "I thought you understood 
the Law."

Chakotay saw Kathryn's head whip around to him as he 
stood, slowly.  "Understood what, exactly?" he asked 
roughly.

"Your Lieutenant's crime, and the consequences," Lechan 
said, shaking his head quickly as his statement did nothing 
to dispel the looks of horror and confusion.

"You said he had wished your fiancee every happiness at 
your joining and you wondered if he was sincere about it," 
Chakotay recalled to the best of his ability, his expression 
reflecting his dismay.  "I replied that he meant what he said."

"I also informed you of his challenge upon my right to lay 
with her on our wedding night!" Lechan responded sharply, 
eyes crackling in remembered outrage for a moment, before 
they dimmed.  Tom's transgression had already been paid 
for, in full. Nothing could be gained by anger, not now.

"You said nothing of the sort!" Chakotay exclaimed, looking 
at Kathryn with a horrified look on his face.

"He kissed her hand!" Lechan shot back.  "Granted, it was 
an archaic challenge, but the Law was still clear about the 
crime *and* the punishment!"

Chakotay sank back into his chair, nearly missing it on the 
way down, and ran shaking hands over his face.  Gods be 
merciful, he had signed Tom's death warrant over *this*?

"Lechan," Janeway began in quiet tones, "a kiss on the hand 
to our people is an old custom of affection and respect.  No 
challenge was issued, not deliberately," she finished in a 
whisper, leaning back in her seat, stunned.

"That's why I asked," Lechan explained, looking again at the 
Commander.  "He assured me that Tom was sincere . ."  he 
was ruthlessly cut off by a Chakotay more livid than 
Janeway could ever remember seeing him. 

"He was sincere about his best wishes for you and your 
intended!  *Nothing* else!" Chakotay said harshly.  Oh, 
Spirits, what had he done?  Tom, *dead*?

Lechan sat back down in Tom's chair and saw Tuvok relax 
marginally.  "Meikan and I thought it was just that he had not 
been properly taught by his parents, to respect the Law.  We 
are looking forward to righting that, in his rebirth to us, to 
make him a valued member of the Society," he said softly, 
jumping slightly as both heads shot up.

"Rebirth?" Janeway asked, her voice sharp with hope. 

"It is outlined in the Law, that those who are executed for 
their transgressions against the Society will be reborn into it, 
into the care of parents who will raise the offender correctly, 
teach them wisely, and love them well," Lechan said, 
reciting the Lesson he had learned ages past, when no more 
than a child, himself.

Janeway paused no more than an instant.

"Senior staff meeting in my Ready Room.  *Now*!"


                      <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Silence reigned after the Captain explained what had 
happened to Tom.  She was obviously angry, Chakotay, still 
horror-stricken, and Tuvok, pensive.  The Doctor was 
fascinated by the procedure the alien used, but was now 
sulking since the Captain had nipped his curious questions 
in the bud.  B'Elanna was ready to tear the alien to shreds 
with her bare hands. Harry looked devastated, and Seven 
appeared puzzled and somewhat upset.  Which she was.

She had been observing Harry and Tom's friendship very 
closely for months, now, trying to figure out what made them 
friends.  They had included her in their relationship and 
answered her odd and, at times, thoughtless questions with 
good humor. Tom usually answered with more than good 
humor, giving her some appreciation of what Harry saw in 
him, to encourage such feelings of camaraderie.  That this 
did not bode well for their friendship, was her primary 
thought, before Seven returned her attention to the Captain.

The only thing that was keeping the tears in Harry's eyes at 
bay was the hopefulness in the Captain's voice as she 
spoke of Tom's rebirth.  Dead? Not Tom.  It couldn't happen, 
not to Tom Paris.  Not over something so damned trivial and 
stupid.

Chakotay sat quietly.  By the stars and heavens, how many 
times had he despaired of *Tom* learning to think before he 
spoke?  How many lectures had been given on realizing the 
consequences of thoughtless actions?  And here he was, 
having to accept the fact that their pilot was dead, gone 
forever, and that it was all his own damned fault. He 
dragged his hands over his face, before leaning forward to 
listen to the Captain try and convince Lechan to allow Tom 
to be reborn to his own people.  Lechan wasn't willing.

"You have to," Chakotay said softly, his anguish and guilt 
weighing heavily on his words.  "I misunderstood you.  As a 
result of that, Tom Paris is dead.  I cannot have that man's 
death on my conscience, not when I owe him my very life."

"We all owe him, several times over," Janeway chimed in, 
seeing Lechan's resolve remarkably weakened by the pain 
in her Commander's voice.

"Returning him to the people who brought him up incorrectly 
in the first place, *isn't* what the Law intended," Lechan 
insisted gently, wishing there was something he could do to 
ease the torment in the man sitting next to him. 

"*We* aren't the ones who raised him," B'Elanna shot back.  

"Indeed," Tuvok said quietly.  "The individuals who set him 
on the road of life are not in this room."

"The point of the Law is to give the offender a second 
chance with different parents, to start all over again, fresh, 
with no memory of what they were taught the first time 
around.  You'd tell those who raised him about his rebirth 
and they'd want him back, to do the damage all over again. 
The same mistakes would be repeated," Lechan said, 
throwing his hands up in agitation.

"We will *not* tell them," Janeway said firmly, pinning them 
all with a look they knew well.  Too well.  "Tom's mother died 
a long time ago," she explained.  "And the Admiral . ."

"No way in *hell* would I turn Tom over to that man to raise 
*again*," Harry stated with such emphasis that they all 
looked at him in astonishment.  He flushed, but continued. 
"We don't have to tell anyone that he's Tom Paris."

"Letting go, for a moment, who *would* raise him," Lechan 
changed tack, "who among you would be willing to go 
through the implantation and give birth to him?" 

Janeway foundered for a moment. She could do it, but she'd 
been close to Admiral Paris at one point.  The man would be 
around on occasion, now, as a friend, and wouldn't miss the 
resemblance between the boy Tom would grow into and the 
son he'd known.  It would be a disaster.

B'Elanna debated it, then instantly rejected the possibility. 
She'd do it if she *had* to, but it would be too strange, giving 
birth to a man she'd once been intimately involved with.  She 
shuddered, the implications making her vaguely nauseous.

Harry was seriously considering doing it, with the help of the 
Doctor, who was debating creating an artificial womb and 
having Tom carried to term that way.  A firm voice was 
heard over the silent din of their combined thoughts.

"I will do it."

Seven scowled as the volume grew.  "I am the logical 
choice.  Lieutenant Paris will be born completely human," 
she explained looking first at Tuvok, then at B'Elanna. 
"Obviously descended from Northern European ancestry," 
said with a glance at Harry and Chakotay.  "I will not be 
remaining with Starfleet when Voyager returns to Earth. 
Therefore, I have no career to try and fit a child into," Seven 
shot a faint, wry smile at the Captain.  "However, I can try 
and work a career around a child.  And," her voice growing 
softer, "I have been informed by the Doctor that I cannot 
bear children of my own, due to my experience with the 
Borg.  This may be my only opportunity to have a child," she 
stated with quiet firmness.  "Lieutenant Paris is a . . friend. 
He has taught me much about the concept, which admittedly 
confused me early on.  This is the sort of thing one friend 
would do for another.  And I would like to do it for him."

"It *is* logical," Tuvok murmured, steepling his fingers.

Seven inclined her head toward Lechan.  "How do we 
begin?"


                   <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Janeway felt unaccountably nervous during the whole 
procedure and couldn't seem to stop pacing in Sickbay. 
Lechan had assured them that Seven would be able to carry 
Tom to term, once he was finished.  The Captain ran her 
eyes over the rest of her crew, taking in their nervousness 
during this, their latest leap into the unknown, while they 
came to terms with their grief.  Even though Tom would be 
reborn, the man they knew was gone.

They had all agreed not to tell anyone about who Seven was 
carrying.  Indeed, no one needed to even know she was 
pregnant.  She'd be off the ship and settled on Earth in no 
time.  Plans had been made by all of them, once the 
decision of who Tom's mother was going to be had been 
settled.  California seemed to be the common denominator 
for them all.  

Janeway would be on the West Coast whenever she was in 
Earth's space and could take her leaves there easily. 
Chakotay wasn't going to stay in Starfleet, but didn't want to 
leave Earth, assuming he had a choice, and he was thinking 
about teaching.  History was still an interest, apparently, and 
numerous colleges and institutes would love to get their 
hands on him. If things also worked out for B'Elanna, she 
was adamant about staying on Earth, as well, something 
which had surprised a few people at the table.  And there 
were a dozen research facilities for her and Harry to work 
with, since he wasn't leaving either, a fact which had startled 
Janeway.  That he would be willing to give up a promising 
future in Starfleet, in order to stay close to Seven and Tom, 
spoke volumes about their friendship.  The Vulcan Embassy 
was in San Francisco, which Tuvok could make use of when 
he visited, he astonished them all by mentioning.  Looked 
like they were in this together.  Come what may. 

Janeway's musings were interrupted by the Doctor, who slid 
the privacy screen away from Seven's biobed, from which 
she was carefully descending.

Seven grimaced faintly and looked hesitant.  "I am . . 
pregnant," she announced, frowning as she rubbed her 
abdomen.

"How do you feel?" Janeway asked, smiling through her 
concern.

"Unchanged," Seven stated.

"The implantation was a *complete* success," the Doctor 
resounded, like he was singlehandedly responsible for it.

"Seven is healthy and strong.  All should go well for her 
pregnancy," Lechan mentioned quietly, sighing.  He hated to 
admit it, but he was disappointed at losing the opportunity to 
raise Tom as his own.  However, their arguments were 
sound; Tom belonged among his own people.

"Captain, it is time for me to leave," the alien said, smiling 
softly at Seven's frown. 

"No surprises in the vortex?" Janeway asked, making sure.

Lechan smiled at the teasing he heard in her voice.  "No, 
Captain.  No more surprises of any sort."

"I'm glad to hear it," Janeway grinned faintly in relief, 
motioning him to the door.  "I'll walk you to the transporter 
room."

Lechan nodded goodbye to all those who had assembled in 
the sickbay.  "I am . . pleased with how this has turned out," 
he said quietly.  "I feel confident that you will help raise the 
boy correctly and teach him to be a man you can all be 
proud of.  Love him well," Lechan said, then left through the 
door to join the Captain in the corridor.

"Thank you," Janeway said quietly as they walked.  "For 
giving us a chance to make this right," she explained at his 
questioning look.

"I hope it works out well for all of you.  And Tom," Lechan 
added, turning as the doors to the transporter room opened.

"I'm certain it will," Janeway assured him. 

Lechan smiled, then hesitated as he was about to step onto 
the transporter pad.  "Captain, there is one more thing you 
need to be aware of," he said cautiously.

"You promised no more surprises," Janeway chided him 
lightly, trying to calm the panic fluttering in her stomach.

"It's not a bad thing," Lechan informed her, smiling.  "Your 
Tom will remember who he was on the eighteenth 
anniversary of his rebirth," he said nonchalantly, missing the 
swift intake of breath by the woman before him. "The choice, 
of who he wants to be, will be up to him at that point.  If you 
and the others have taught him well, he will choose to 
remain who he is, rather than become who he was."

"And if he doesn't?" Janeway asked with some trepidation.

Lechan shrugged.  "There will be no consequence for you, 
seeing that you will be beyond the reach of our Society. 
However, having an individual choose to return to his old 
ways means that those who raised him have also *failed* 
him." 

"We won't fail him," Janeway said, the steel in her voice 
making Lechan glad he was leaving.

"I believe you, Captain," he assured her quickly.  "Best of 
fortune to you all."

Janeway nodded as Lechan shimmered away.  "We *won't* 
fail him," she muttered, exiting through the doors and 
heading back to Sickbay.


                     <<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>


The next few weeks were pretty busy for all of them.  The 
Maquis had been briefly taken into custody, then released 
almost immediately, with full pardons, when Janeway 
threatened to go public about Starfleet's little deception 
regarding the personal messages they'd downloaded from 
the array.  

The media were dying for stories about the returning ship 
and the last thing Starfleet wanted anyone to know was how 
they'd coerced certain Maquis already in custody into 
sending outright lies to Voyager's former Maquis 
crewmembers via the array.  Lies about how the Maquis 
back in the Alpha Quadrant were all dead, destroyed, 
disbanded, when nothing could be further from the truth.  

The Captain had been livid when she'd found out and a livid, 
unhappy, heroic Janeway made for a very nervous Starfleet. 
The 'Fleet's story was that they didn't fully understand the 
situation onboard Voyager and had wanted to keep the 
Maquis disheartened, believing they had nothing left to 
come back to, so that Janeway could keep order on her 
ship.  Like that had been a problem for the last four years.

She had been offered the cream of the 'Fleet, a new, 
beautiful ship, in exchange for her continued silence, but 
had turned it down, wanting to keep Voyager in the family. 
So, Kathryn was currently on leave, waiting for Voyager's 
shakedown after the engineers and scientists had had their 
fill of going over the ship.

Chakotay had been offered positions on the faculty of every 
university he'd applied at.  And several he hadn't.  He was 
looking forward to checking them all out in detail.

Tuvok was going to Vulcan to reunite with his wife and 
family, but would be returning as Janeway's First Officer 
when Voyager was ready to sail.

Harry and B'Elanna had had offers before their things were 
even packed.  They'd agreed on the same facility, wanting to 
stay together, work together, as a team, and had moved into 
a couple of lovely places, each within walking distance of 
Seven's.

Seven was working at the same facility as Harry and 
B'Elanna, developing shields, while they worked on engines, 
but on a completely different shift, which would allow 
someone to be with Tom at all times, as soon as he was 
born.  The attention she'd been receiving since arriving on 
Earth was slowly easing off, making her infinitely more 
comfortable and she was gradually settling in, getting 
accustomed to living in a home, for the first time in as long 
as she could remember.  She was still visiting the Doctor 
regularly, insisting on his prenatal care, and *only* his. *All* 
of Voyager's crew had insisted on keeping him as their 
primary physician while they were on Earth, waiting as the 
ship was made ready to sail.  

Janeway had grinned at the quotes she heard in the 
Doctor's voice every time he spoke of the newer, 'advanced' 
EMHs.  He had been granted sentience and independence 
and was currently involved with Research, working with Dr. 
Zimmerman on the various versions of the holographic 
medical programs.  In his copious spare time, he was busy 
downloading everything about Obstetrics and Pediatrics that 
he could get his hands on, and had used the Captain's 
clearance, with her permission, to secretly get copies of 
Tom's childhood medical records, in preparation for the big 
day and the boy's life to come.  

Tom had been declared officially dead.  Janeway had 
carefully fixed the logs, mentioning only that he had died on 
an away mission and had so impressed the race whose 
planet he'd been killed on with his devotion to duty, that one 
of them had taken his place and led them to the Gateway 
that had ultimately brought them home. It was close enough 
to the truth and the only ones who knew better were never 
going to say differently.

Their triumphant return had been weeks ago and Kathryn 
sighed as she thought about their present situation, letting 
the ocean she'd missed so wash over her feet and ankles. 
The Pacific, in all its glory.  She raised her face, the sunlight 
shining through the clouds hitting her sporadically.  She 
knew she should be getting home, but her thoughts were 
chaotic and she wasn't really hungry for dinner, yet, anyway. 

Mark had married, and Janeway grinned inwardly as she 
remembered the photo of his wife in his office.  Her old 
veterinarian, of all people.  Mark was happy to see her again 
and they'd talked for a long time over coffee, laughing and 
reminiscing.  Like old friends, more than lovers.  Like she 
and Chakotay were still doing, getting together a couple of 
times a week to talk and remember what he liked to refer to 
as the 'good old days'.

Kathryn's smile faded as she remembered how difficult 
Chakotay was finding it to get on with his life.  Dorvan 5 was 
one of the planets recently reincluded into Federation space, 
according to the newest treaty, but that could change before 
the ink was completely dry.  Home wasn't really the problem 
for him anyway, nor was his old life in the Maquis.  The 
problem was Tom.

The pilot's absence was notable and constant.  Only Harry 
was able to speak of the man as if he were simply on leave, 
not gone forever.  He seemed to believe it was just a matter 
of time until they were all back together again and insisted 
that some things were uniquely Tom and they would 
manifest themselves no matter what as the child grew to 
maturity.  

Seven was learning everything she could about parenting 
and was looking forward to the experience with all the 
passion of a true scientist.  B'Elanna had become a good 
friend and a startling source of support for Seven, as was 
the Doctor, who met every question and doubt with his usual 
unflappable calm.  

Janeway smiled now, thinking about unflappable calm. 
Tuvok would be back in another month, to prepare for 
Voyager's next mission, and she was so looking forward to 
having her old, dear friend at her side once again.  She was 
going to miss Chakotay, she knew, as her thoughts came 
back full circle.  Chakotay. 

Gods, the guilt hadn't seemed to have diminished one iota 
since their return.  Even burying himself in work with classes 
and lectures and meetings hadn't erased the haunted look in 
his eyes.  She didn't know if anything ever would.  Tom was 
gone, the man to whom Chakotay still owed a debt of life, 
and nothing he did could change that fact. She'd tried to tell 
him what a large part in having Tom here, with them, he had 
played.  Lechan had only been swayed by Chakotay's pain, 
Kathryn remembered.  The alien had remained unmoved by 
the logic of their arguments until the former Commander had 
pleaded on Tom's behalf, to let him be brought up among 
his own people, on his home planet.  Lechan had 
understood the man's horror at what he'd unintentionally 
done and his sympathy for what Chakotay was going 
through had been exactly what was needed for him to even 
*consider* letting them bring Tom up, again.

Kathryn headed back down the beach, shoes swinging from 
her hand as she took the path back to the transporter site. 
Voyager was leaving in less than six weeks, just as Seven 
would be entering her second trimester.  Hopefully, 
Chakotay would be healing somewhat by then.


                   <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Seven surveyed the table set for six and nodded with 
satisfaction.  Voyager was back in the system and the 
former crew had all decided to descend upon her, ostensibly 
for dinner but, really, just to see how she was doing.

The pregnancy had not been difficult, but she had no wish to 
repeat the experience.  Morning sickness was extremely 
unpleasant, the additional weight made her awkward, and 
the near-constant discomfort of back and legs made it a 
challenge to perform even the simplest everyday activities. 
The baby was due in another week and Seven found herself 
feeling relief mixed with some trepidation at the impending 
birth.  She absently caressed her abdomen and felt Tom 
kick against her hand.

"Stop that," Seven ordered him, smiling faintly, patting what 
she assumed to be a foot, only to have him kick her again. 
She was still smiling when the door chimed and she opened 
it, to find Harry and B'Elanna on the other side, carrying a 
huge bouquet of flowers and a couple of bottles of wine, not 
that she was going to drink any of it.  She'd never developed 
a taste for fermented beverages and had no interest in 
starting while pregnant.

"You look wonderful," B'Elanna enthused as she gave her a 
hug, only to have Tom kick out again.  Seven flinched.

"You okay?" Harry asked, setting the bottles down and 
frowning.

"Fine," Seven answered with a slightly gentler version of her 
customary shortness.  "He's been kicking since 0400. 
*Very* enthusiastically."

Harry and B'Elanna exchanged a grin.  "Babies do that," 
B'Elanna said softly.

Seven arched an eyebrow.  "Apparently," she acknowledged 
as they came into the dining room.

"You didn't have to do it all," Harry protested, seeing 
everything was ready to go.  "We said we'd help." 

"I've been up since 0400," Seven reminded him with a slight 
smile.  "I took my time."

"It looks *beautiful*," B'Elanna informed her, scowling at 
Harry, who shrugged, and grinned.  He was not about to get 
into it with B'Elanna, not tonight.  Her protective streak had 
been out in full force for months now, ever since they'd 
moved in down the street, so close to Seven.  He'd thought 
it odd, at first, how tight these two had gotten over Seven's 
pregnancy, but guessed he was used to it by now.  Harry 
wondered if B'Elanna still felt guilty over not wanting to be 
Tom's mother, but everyone in their 'family' understood and 
agreed that Seven was the logical choice.  The door chimed 
and he headed to open it, finding Tuvok standing there.

"Come on in," Harry invited, letting the Vulcan pass him and 
was about to close the door, when he saw Chakotay and 
Kathryn coming up the walk.  The welcoming smile on his 
face faded slightly as he got a good look at Chakotay. 
Gods, the man looked miserable, still.  Harry couldn't 
remember the last time he'd seen his former Commander 
smile.  *Really* smile, not the halfhearted effort he was 
making now as Harry shook his head, clapping him on the 
shoulder.

Chakotay greeted Harry quietly and stepped inside Seven's 
house, beautifully lit with the last of the sunset, candles at 
the ready for after dark.  He continued inside, heading 
hesitantly toward the voices he heard in the dining room, 
while Kathryn and Harry exchanged a concerned look.

"He almost didn't come," Kathryn whispered, handing 
another large bouquet of flowers to Harry.  "I practically had 
to drag him here forcibly."

"I'm glad you did," Harry told her quietly.  "We should all be 
here."  Kathryn nodded, then took Harry's arm and let him 
escort her into the dining room.  She grinned as Seven's 
eyes widened when they took in the second bouquet.  The 
former Borg *loved* flowers, the more, the better.  Tuvok 
met her eyes and they exchanged a humorous glance at 
Seven's obvious pleasure.

"I need another vase," Seven stated with something that 
almost sounded like delight and made her way carefully into 
the kitchen.  Conversation halted the instant the crash was 
heard and five people rushed into the kitchen to find Seven 
breathing oddly, holding her abdomen with one hand.  "I can 
*not* be in labor," she stated firmly, trying to get her breath 
back while daring them to argue with her. 

"Looks like labor to me," B'Elanna said, helping her walk into 
the dining room and settling her carefully in a chair.

"This is not possible," Seven protested as a wave of panic 
hit her, making B'Elanna grimace at the grip on her hand. 
"He's a week early."

"That's just like Tom," Kathryn said, smiling fondly. "Always 
the impatient one."

"It's just like him to do this now, while we're all here," Harry 
added, moving behind Seven to rub her back.  

"I'll comm the Doctor," B'Elanna offered, trying to release 
Seven's hand, but another contraction made that impossible. 
"Tuvok, comm the Doctor,"  B'Elanna barked, meeting the 
infamously raised eyebrow with a roll of her eyes, before the 
Vulcan headed into the living room and informed the 
Holodoc of Seven's condition.

The trip to the medical center was rapid and uneventful and 
soon all six of them were ushering Seven into the Maternity 
unit.  The Doctor took over immediately, showing his former 
Captain, Commander, and Chief of Security to the waiting 
room, while ordering Harry and B'Elanna to change.

"Nervous?" B'Elanna asked Harry, as they went through the 
sterilization procedures.

"Excited," Harry informed her, eyes glowing.  "It's not every 
day a guy gets to help bring his best friend into the world."

B'Elanna snorted and they went into the delivery room to 
find Seven not-so-calmly breathing.  The Doctor was trying 
to keep her distracted while getting her comfortable in the 
birthing chair.

"How are you doing?" B'Elanna asked her, grinning as the 
former Borg grabbed her hand like a lifeline.

"I am adequately prepared for this," Seven said with a faint 
note of hysteria in her voice.

"Yes, you are," Harry said calmly and coolly.  "And we're 
going to be right here with you, every step of the way."

"Let nature take its course, Seven, I'll take care of the rest," 
the Doctor said gently, smiling reassuringly at her. 

"I am adequately prepared for this," Seven repeated, 
breathing rapidly as another contraction hit her.

B'Elanna breathed out with her, teeth grinding against the 
pain in her hand as she squeezed back.

Harry moved behind Seven, to help support her when 
another one hit and the Doctor encouraged her to push, 
push, push.

"I AM PUSHING!" she yelled behind gritted teeth, until the 
spasm eased and she could breathe again.


                <<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Kathryn looked worriedly at Chakotay, who hadn't uttered a 
word since arriving at the medical center.  She got up from 
her chair and walked over to him, sitting down at his side.

"It's not going to be real until he's here, back with us again, 
Kathryn," he said quietly, looking at his hands.  "And he'll 
never be the man he was."

"We'll make it better for him, Chakotay," Kathryn said softly, 
slipping her hand into his. "A fresh start, a second chance, 
without the mistakes, the guilt, the regret."

"I *know*," Chakotay whispered helplessly, not having the 
words to explain how he was feeling.

"He'll be loved, cared for. Hell, he'll be spoiled rotten," 
Kathryn said, trying to coax a grin out of Chakotay.  It almost 
worked.  Almost.


                   <<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


"I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN," Seven yelled out, 
pushing herself into another dimension with the next 
contraction.

"One more, just one more push, Seven," the Doctor coaxed 
her from the floor. "One more, you can do it."

"You've been saying *one* more for the last *six*, Doctor," 
Seven reminded him tiredly, leaning back against Harry's 
strength as he wiped her forehead.  B'Elanna had switched 
hands, trying to work feeling back into the one hanging 
limply at her side.

"You can do it," Harry whispered in her ear.  "One more 
really strong push and you'll be the mother of a beautiful, 
perfect, baby boy," he said huskily, looking up at B'Elanna, 
who also had tears in her eyes.

"Come on, Seven, one more," B'Elanna prodded her. 

"This should be the last one, Seven," the Doctor chimed in.

"*One* *more*," Seven ground out, feeling the next one hit 
her as she screeched, pushed, and pushed and . . .

"Congratulations, Seven," the Doctor informed her a 
moment later, hands full of a wriggling, screaming baby. 
"It's a girl!"

"*WHAT*?!?!?" three voices shouted in unison.

"A joke, just a joke," the Doctor said, hushing them, looking 
giddy with delight.  "You people are way too serious."  He 
placed the baby in Seven's arms, wrapped up lightly.

"Welcome back, Tom," Harry said in a choked voice, turning 
into B'Elanna's arms and holding her tight.

"Welcome to the world, little one," the Doctor said quietly, 
looking over Seven's shoulder.

Seven sat there, trying to reconcile the man she'd known 
with the baby in her arms.  Tom blinked and her thoughtful 
frown became a slight, soft smile.

"Hello, there," she said quietly, her face reflecting her 
stunned awe.  "I am your mother."


                 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Harry brought the baby out while B'Elanna stayed with 
Seven, clucking over her like a mother hen.

"Tom has arrived," Kathryn's former Ensign said softly, 
placing the tiny bundle carefully in her arms.  Tuvok looked 
on from over her shoulder, something almost like a smile 
just touching his lips.  Chakotay looked dazed as Kathryn 
cooed over the baby, a sheepish expression on her face.

"I feel ridiculous, but I know I shouldn't," Kathryn said.  "He's 
just like any other baby."

"Not precisely, Captain," Tuvok reminded her lightly, causing 
her to grin as she cocked her head, acknowledging the truth 
of that statement.

"How's Seven?" Kathryn asked, fingertip stroking a soft 
cheek, a tiny nose.

"She's fine," Harry assured her. "B'Elanna's with her, now."

Kathryn gathered the baby to her, about to hand him back to 
Harry, but changed her mind.  "I'll go see how she's doing," 
she decided, looking meaningfully at Harry, who nodded and 
glanced at Tuvok, who arched an eyebrow at the silent, yet 
efficient, communication.

"I'll show you where she is," Harry offered instantly.

"I will accompany you both," Tuvok said quietly.

Kathryn turned to Chakotay and slid Tom into his arms.  He 
was too startled to protest and the three of them left the 
waiting area before he could find his voice again.

Chakotay adjusted Tom against his chest and the infant 
moved a leg, stirring slightly.  The former Commander held 
him as though frozen, before freeing one hand to touch the 
high forehead, the tiny eyebrows, the perfect mouth.  "Are 
you in there?" Chakotay murmured softly, looking for some 
sign of the man he'd known in the baby he was holding. 
Tom yawned and the eyes came blearily open, revealing the 
startlingly familiar blue depths.  "There you are," Chakotay 
choked out, his eyes filling with tears.  "There you are."


                       <<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


"Seven, how do you want the name to appear on the birth 
certificate?" the Doctor was asking a frowning former-Borg 
when the Captain and Harry, with Tuvok right behind them, 
came into the recovery room.

"The first name should remain the same," Seven stated 
logically.  "It will be easier on all of us."

"Very well," the Doctor nodded, as if he approved.  "Last 
name?"

"Hansen," she answered thoughtfully, then cleared her 
throat sharply.  "Hansen."

"Middle name?" the Doctor asked.

"Eugene is out of the question," she replied with faint 
distaste.  "Harry."

"What?" Harry asked her, stepping forward through the 
throng.

Seven shook her head.  "No, his middle name should be 
Harry.  I think he'd . . prefer it," she said, answering Harry's 
delighted smile with a softer one of her own.

The Doctor smiled as he made note of it, looking pleased. 
"Thomas Harry Hansen it is, then."


                   <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Things began to establish something of a pattern once Tom 
was born.  Kathryn and Tuvok were off on another mission, 
but still commed regularly to check on Tom's progress and 
see how motherhood was working out for Seven.  It seemed 
to be working just fine. Harry and B'Elanna were both 
astounded at the pleasure the ex-Borg found in being a 
mother. The three of them were Tom's primary caretakers, 
as Harry and B'Elanna were with him while Seven worked, 
but Chakotay was making more and more time to babysit so the other three could have a break.  Seven called on him 
frequently, when Harry and B'Elanna were at work, for 
everything from needing another adult to talk to, to how to 
get the baby to sleep and Chakotay gradually grew 
comfortable enough to stop by uninvited on occasion, just to 
see how they were doing.

Kathryn got used to seeing him answer the comm, when 
Seven was out or at work, if he'd volunteered for babysitting 
duty to give Harry and B'Elanna some free time.

Another opportunity for them all to get together came about 
when Tom was nearly eight months old.  Chakotay was 
holding the baby as the former crew came through the door, 
this dinner so like the last one that everyone found 
themselves joking about it.

Chakotay set the baby down to hug Kathryn hello and he 
was off like a shot, heading for the kitchen.  Harry performed 
a brilliantly executed interception and scooped Tom up, 
blowing raspberries on his neck.

"He has mastered crawling, I see," Tuvok intoned, his voice 
almost fond.

"At near-warp," Seven informed them wryly.  "Little has 
changed in that regard."

"And he's got teeth," Kathryn noticed as Tom beamed up at 
her. "Lots of them, yes, he does," she said smiling as the 
baby laughed.

"Teething is not something I would wish on a Kazon," Seven 
said hostilely.

"He was pretty miserable," Harry added with a chuckle.

"Until Chakotay came to the rescue," B'Elanna piped in, 
making her old friend smile.

"Frozen bananas," Chakotay explained, as Kathryn played 
with Tom's curly blond hair. 

"Ingenious," she commended him as he looked modest, 
eyes meeting B'Elanna's at her snort of amusement.

"Listen to us," B'Elanna said, laughing.  "Who would've 
thought that we'd be getting together to talk about crawling 
and teething . ."

"And frozen bananas," Harry added, putting his arms around 
her as she looked up at him, kissing him lightly.

"And frozen bananas," she said softly.

Kathryn and Chakotay just grinned at one another, both 
thinking <Finally!>.  They'd been hoping these two would get 
together.  Now it looked as if it was going to happen, at long 
last.  The spell was broken when Tom burbled loudly and 
they chuckled.  Chakotay plunked him into the highchair,
tickling him until he giggled.

"Still has to be the center of attention," he said with gruff 
fondness as he took his seat.

"Little has changed," Seven remarked lightly as they passed 
the plates around.

"Actually, there are changes," Kathryn told them quietly.

"Even now?" Harry asked.

His former Captain nodded.  "Even now," she said smiling at 
Tom, who banged his spoon happily on the tray of the chair. 
"Small things.  He's a happier baby, smiles more, laughs 
more. Women, he didn't have a problem with, even then," 
she said wryly as they laughed, "but he'd scream bloody 
murder any time a man tried to hold him."

"That doesn't seem to be a problem, now," Chakotay said 
thoughtfully, double-teaming the baby with B'Elanna as they 
fed him.

"Goodness, he eats fast," remarked Kathryn, chuckling as 
the two adults could barely keep up.

"If you fail to keep him occupied, he loses interest and will 
try and climb down," Seven said softly, sipping her tea.

"At this age?" Kathryn asked incredulously, eyes widening 
as her four friends nodded.

"And it's only going to get worse," Harry predicted, looking at 
the baby affectionately.

"Much worse," B'Elanna groused playfully, glaring at 
Chakotay for distracting Tom, causing her spoonful to go in 
his ear, instead of his mouth.  Chakotay just shrugged, 
grinning.

"He still has the gift of making life interesting," the former 
Commander said with quiet amusement.

"That he does," Kathryn agreed, grinning at them all, before 
raising her glass in a toast.  "To making life interesting."

They clinked glasses, chorusing the toast.  "To making life 
interesting."


                     <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Seven leaned against the wall and sighed tiredly.  "Whoever 
invented the word 'no' should be assimilated," she grumbled, 
staggering into the living room to sit down.  Putting an 
almost-two-year-old child to bed was getting to be a 
challenge these days.  She wished she could call Harry and 
B'Elanna, but they were on their honeymoon and she was 
*not* going to disturb them.  

Human marriage rituals fascinated her. The whole concept 
of bringing together all the people you knew to see you get 
married, then leaving to spend days alone to recover, was 
perplexing to say the least.  It was nice, though, seeing 
everyone again, and meeting some new people.  Several 
men had asked her to dance, many more had invited her to 
lunches and dinners until her head had been swimming. 
Harry's parents had all but adopted her, when they realized 
she was without family, and had appointed themselves 
Tom's honorary grandparents.  Warm, friendly people, the 
Kims.  A loud, indignant wail came from the nursery, 
interrupting her musing, and she moaned aloud.

Getting to her feet, she was about to leave the living room 
when the comm sounded.  Answering it, she found herself 
looking into Chakotay's concerned face. "Help?" she asked 
as Tom's voice rose to new, strident levels.

"On my way," Chakotay promised, hurriedly leaving his 
office.

Seven had the front door open before he got there and he 
greeted her quickly, then headed into the nursery and picked 
Tom up.

"Oof, you are getting so heavy," Chakotay murmured quietly, 
cradling the child to him and hushing him.  He made himself 
comfortable on the padded bench by the window and let 
Tom look outside over his shoulder, small arms wrapped 
tightly around his neck as the child cried.

"Shhh, it's okay, it is," he whispered softly.

"'Kotay," Tom said, snuffling against his neck.

"I'm right here, shh, I'm right here," Chakotay said softly, 
looking up to see Seven standing in the door.  "Get some 
rest," he suggested with a slight smile.  "I'll stay with him." 

"Thank you," she answered, exhaustion weighing her voice 
even deeper than usual.

"What's the matter, huh?" he asked the little boy, finally still 
and quiet in his arms.

"Stars," Tom mumbled sleepily.

"What about the stars, Munchkin?  Hmmm?  Tell me," 
Chakotay said, rubbing the boy's back with a gentle hand. 

"Wanna see stars," Tom said, arms loosening their grip 
around Chakotay's neck.

The former Commander frowned and looked over to where 
the boy's crib was.  He smiled softly in understanding. 
Kathryn was going to love this.  Tom was giving his mother 
hell because he couldn't see the stars outside the window 
from where the crib was positioned.

"I'll fix it, okay?" he offered and grinned as Tom yawned.  "I'll 
fix it.  You'll get to see all the stars your little heart desires.  I 
promise."

"P'omise?" Tom asked, one beautiful blue eye opening 
suspiciously.

"Promise," Chakotay nodded and smiled, kissing Tom on 
the cheek.  "You go to sleep tonight, and don't wake your 
mommy, and you'll have stars tomorrow, okay?"

"'Kay," Tom mumbled, head lolling on Chakotay's shoulder. 
"'Kay, 'Kotay."

The next night found an adorable child peacefully sleeping in 
his new bed, right in front of the window.

"I have been reluctant to get him a bed; I was afraid he 
would fall out and injure himself," Seven whispered to 
Chakotay from where they were standing by the door.

Chakotay grinned silently.  "Resistance was futile," he 
murmured, eyes meeting Seven's when she snorted softly.

"Apparently," she said dryly, as she shut the door to Tom's 
room.  "Thank you."

Chakotay smiled as they walked back into the living room. 
"For him, anything."


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>


Tom glared at the man who would be taking his mother out 
to dinner.  He did *not* like him. He was just past four, had 
even had a great birthday party with all his favorite people 
there, and he was old enough to know what he liked and 
what he didn't.  He liked it when his mother sang to him. He 
liked Harry's clarinet.  He liked B'Elanna's forehead, 
because it was neat.  He liked Chakotay's tattoo and the 
story behind it and wanted one of his own.  He liked 
Kathryn's laughter and the way her eyes got all crinkly and 
he liked Tuvok's eyebrow and how it seemed to do the 
feeling for the Vulcan, since he couldn't because . . well, 
because he was *Vulcan*.

But, he didn't like peas, and he didn't like brussels sprouts, 
and he didn't like wasps, and he did *not* like *Gerald*.

The man scowled at him when his mother wasn't looking. 
And his laugh was nasty.  And he smelled funny. No, he 
didn't like *Gerald* one bit.

The only good part was getting to play with Chakotay 
tonight.  That would be fun, he thought, and brightened 
considerably when he looked out the window and saw the 
big man coming up to the door.  He opened it carefully, with 
both hands, barely able to reach it, and grinned up at one of 
his mostest favorite people.

"Hey, Munchkin," Chakotay sang out, grabbing Tom and 
tossing him into the air, until he shrieked with laughter.

"Hey, 'Kotay!" he exclaimed excitedly as the older man 
carried him into the living room.  He sobered abruptly when 
he saw *Gerald* and hid in Chakotay's shirt, totally missing 
the way the big man's eyes narrowed for an instant, before 
he smiled and greeted Seven.

*Gerald* didn't seem to be too pleased to see Chakotay, but 
that was too damned bad as far as the former Commander 
was concerned.  "Seven, you look lovely, doesn't she, 
kiddo?" he asked, seeing the boy's face tighten as he looked 
past *Gerald*.

"You look pretty, Mommy," Tom said, casting a critical eye 
over Seven's green dress, then turned back around to hug 
Chakotay again.  "It's wasted on *Gerald*," he muttered, too 
softly for anyone but Chakotay to hear and the man snorted, 
trying not to laugh out loud as he hurriedly wished the other 
adults a nice evening.  As soon as the door was closed, he 
roared with laughter, hugging the boy to him. 

"I take it you didn't like him either," Chakotay said as he 
lifted Tom onto his shoulders and carried him into the 
kitchen.

"He's up there with *peas*!" Tom stated emphatically, and 
the big man cringed in sympathy.

"That bad, huh?" 

"*Worse*!" Tom said, as Chakotay got the frozen bananas 
from the replicator.  "He smells funny and his smile's 
*mean*."

"I noticed," Chakotay said sorrowfully, before cheering up on 
purpose.  "Want to hear a story?"

"Always!" Tom chirped, helping Chakotay carry the bowls 
back into the living room.

They had a great time together; Tom was still shrieking with 
laughter at Chakotay's Little Bear voice, when Seven came 
home a couple of hours later and the laughter stopped 
abruptly when the little boy saw *Gerald*.

"Bed time, for you, young man," Seven said with 
mock-severity as she smiled at Chakotay, nodding at his 
unspoken question of whether it was okay for him to go.

"Thank you for watching Tom," she said quietly, showing 
him to the door.

"My pleasure, as always," he assured her as he headed out, 
before stage-whispering, "*Gerald* smells funny!" 

Seven snorted and waved, shaking her fist in the air, as she 
happily called out a good-night.  She sighed, turning back to 
the living room when Tom came in, dressed for bed.

"Get into bed, I will be there shortly," she said, seeing the 
grimace on her son's face as he looked at *Gerald*.  She 
grinned as she thought that the man would have his name 
emphasized in her mind for the rest of her life and her smile 
reassured Tom, who scampered off to his room.

"I'll tuck him in if you want to change into something more 
comfortable," *Gerald* all-but-leered at her. "I love kids, 
really I do."

"Very well," Seven allowed, winking at her son when he 
glared at her, before she went into her room to change.  The 
evening was a disaster, totally.  The man was insufferably 
rude and nasty and . . Chakotay was right; he smelled funny. 
Seven sighed as she left her room, halting in the hallway 
when she heard *Gerald's* voice.

"See, kid, I might be around for a long time and you and me, 
we gotta get along.  Your mom's a great looking chick, but 
she's not getting any younger and having a kid around 
doesn't make finding a man any easier.  You mess this up 
for her and she will *hate* you for it, got that?  So, quit being 
a brat, kid.  I know how to handle brats like you."

"I am *not* a brat," Tom said, glaring at the man, who 
lowered his face down to a mere inch from Tom's.

"*All* kids are brats," *Gerald* said in a nasty voice, before 
strong hands grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and 
dragged him out of the kid's bedroom.  "Hey, what the . .?"

"You are leaving," Seven said coldly, opening the front door. 
"Now," and with that, she flung him out onto the walk and 
shut the door.  Taking a deep breath, she walked back into 
the living room, to find Tom peering cautiously from around 
the corner.

"He's gone?" asked a small voice.

"Gone, permanently," Seven stated, looking more angry 
than Tom had *ever* seen her look before.

"Good," Tom said quietly, his eyes on the floor. 

"What's the matter?" she asked, kneeling next to him and 
taking a quivering chin in her hand, tilting it up until she saw 
the tears.  "Oh, Tom," and with that, a crying four-year-old 
launched himself into her arms.  "Shhh, it's all right.  He was 
just a mean man and he's not *ever* coming back," she said 
firmly. "Okay?"

Tom nodded silently and squeezed his eyes shut, resting his 
head on his mother's shoulder.  "Love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, Angel.  Now, let's get you to bed," Seven 
said, picking him up, even though her back protested 
somewhat.

Tom let her tuck him in and rolled over in a classic 'I'm only 
pretending to be asleep' pose.  She rubbed his back for 
while, which felt nice, and left quietly, shutting the door.  He 
sat up and wiped his face with his sleeve.  He was *not* a 
brat.  Was he? Chakotay would know.  The man had sworn 
he'd answer any question Tom threw at him. This was a big 
one.  

He heard his mother eventually walk back down the hallway 
and go into her room and he waited a while longer until 
everything was quiet.  Then, he made his way to the living 
room and commed his best friend.  Chakotay surfaced 
blearily at the signal and answered it, coming completely 
awake when he saw Tom, small pale face streaked with 
tears.

"Munchkin, what's wrong?" he asked quietly, his mind going 
instantly to *Gerald*.

"I wanna ask you somethin'," Tom said sadly, the tears in 
his eyes breaking Chakotay's heart. 

"Anything, Tom," Chakotay promised.

"Am I a brat?"

"I'll kill him," the big man muttered, dragging his hands over 
his face.  "No, you are *not* a brat," he said firmly. 

"Are you sure?" Tom asked hesitantly.

Chakotay smiled.  "Positive.  You are not, nor could you 
ever *be*, a brat.  You are a wonderful little boy and I love 
you very much. Okay?"

Tom beamed, grinning back, the grin so like Paris's that 
Chakotay felt his chest tighten.  "'Kay, 'Kotay," he answered 
happily.  "Love you, too.  Good-night."

"Good-night, Munchkin," Chakotay said softly, his mind in a 
daze as he went back to bed.  That was the first time the 
boy had looked, *really* looked, like the man he used to be. 
Spirits.  Sleep would not come easy for him this night.


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Tom had decided that he didn't like funerals, either. 
Definitely worse than peas.  Worse than anything.  Everyone 
was talking in whispers and sometimes people quit talking 
altogether when he walked into a room.  All his favorite 
people were here, just like they'd all been here a couple of 
months ago for his fifth birthday.  Everyone was here. 
Except B'Elanna.

His mother and Chakotay had told him that she died in an 
accident and she wasn't coming back.  Something blew up 
and hurt her so badly not even the Doctor could fix her.  And 
Tom had thought the Doctor could fix *anything*.  He'd 
made his arm all better when he fell out of the tree by his 
window, but this was a lot worse and there was nothing the 
Doc could do about it.

Harry didn't seem like Harry anymore, and that bothered him 
a lot.  Harry had cried, which made Tom cry, and everybody 
seemed to get started then.  Seven had held Harry, and 
Chakotay and Kathryn had held him and they had all cried 
together.  Things had almost recovered a little until he'd 
spoken up, in a small voice.

"I'm gonna miss her ridges."

For some reason, that had started everyone crying again 
and he'd felt badly, until Harry had picked him up and held 
him close and said it was okay, they'd *all* miss her ridges. 
He had felt a little better, then, and now was remembering 
B'Elanna playing with him, and reading to him, and growling 
at him when he made her crazy.

"She made a great Momma Bear, she growled even better 
than you did when you were Papa Bear," he said innocently 
to Harry, and felt the man shaking against him as he held 
him tight.

"She was a great Momma Bear," Harry agreed in a choked 
voice before his face crumpled and tears started coming 
again.  Tom nodded sadly against Harry's neck.  He was 
willing to bet that these tears had something to do with the 
baby.  

Tom had been so excited when B'Elanna said she was 
having a baby, it meant he'd have something like a sister or 
brother when it was born.  But, the baby had been hurt, too, 
in the accident and the Doctor couldn't help it, either.  So, 
Harry had lost them both.  It was so sad.  The two most  
important people in Tom's life were his Mom and Chakotay 
and he knew how badly he'd feel if he lost just *one* of 
them, let alone *both*.  He'd cry an awful lot, he knew he 
would, just like Harry was doing.  And Harry would hold him, 
just like Tom was holding Harry.

"She wouldn't want you to be sad," Tom said, quietly, patting 
Harry's back like Chakotay did with him when he was upset. 

"I know, buddy, I know," Harry said, wiping his eyes with his 
hands as he looked into the unhappy blue eyes in front of 
him and almost lost it, again.

"It'll be okay, Har," Tom said softly, using his own sleeve to 
dry Harry's eyes and found himself back in Harry's arms, as 
his friend cried and cried.  Tom just petted his hair and cried 
with him. Yep, funerals were definitely worse than anything. 
*Anything*.


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


It didn't take Chakotay long to notice how restless Tom 
seemed.  The boy was up and checking out the window 
every few minutes.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" he asked quietly, seeing 
the child turn around slowly, his hands in his pockets.

"Something's going on and no one will tell me what it is," 
Tom blurted out.  "It's like everybody has a secret and they 
won't *tell* me."  

Chakotay patted the seat next to him. For being only 
six-and-a-half, Tom was incredibly sharp.  He sighed as the 
child sat down by him and looked at him thoughtfully.

"You know what it is, too, don't you?" Tom said, looking 
slightly angry at being excluded by his best friend. 

Chakotay nodded and Tom sighed, throwing himself back 
into the cushions.  "This is so *unfair*," he almost whined.

"Let me tell you a little bit, but I can't say much, yet, it's a 
surprise," Chakotay bargained, as he thought that there was 
no way was he going to mention it to *Tom* before Harry 
had even popped the question to *Seven*.

"You know how much Harry likes your Mom," Chakotay 
began, seeing Tom nod impatiently.

"*Everyone* knows that," Tom huffed. And everyone did. 

Harry and Seven had been supporting each other for months 
after B'Elanna was killed, until it had occurred to them that 
there was more than comfort between them.  They'd been 
dating for months, now, together almost constantly.  And 
had been officially a couple at Tom's sixth birthday party.

Chakotay was about to get into it a little further when the 
door opened and Seven and Harry came in, Seven looking 
stunned and radiant.  The former Commander smiled and 
Tom scowled.

"I want to know what's going on!" Tom yelled, getting 
thoroughly disgusted by the smiles and looks he didn't 
understand.

Harry came over and sat on the floor in front of him and 
looked up at him. "I want to marry your Mom," he said 
simply, watching Tom carefully for any adverse reaction.

"That's *it*?!?" Tom yelled, looking at the ceiling before 
looking at his Mom.

"I suppose you want to marry *him*, too?" he asked, 
scowling.  Or trying to.  Chakotay caught the smile twitching 
at the corner of his mouth and chuckled, which set Tom off, 
prompting a much-relieved Harry to pull the boy off the 
couch and tickle him til he screamed.

"Monster," Harry said fondly, giving the laughing child a hug. 

"When's the wedding?" Tom asked, smiling as his Mom 
came and sat down on the floor with them.

"Voyager will be returning in three months and we want to 
wait until then," she answered.

"Kathryn and Tuvok," Tom guessed, nodding.  "I don't think 
I'll be *too* busy to come," he said, grinning, squirming when 
Harry threatened tickles again.

"I hope not, you're going to be in it," Harry said, smiling.

"I am *not* getting married," Tom protested vehemently, 
making them all laugh.

"No, you get to be my Best Man," Harry informed him. "As it 
should be."

The nuances of that last comment went over Tom's head, 
but Chakotay and Seven got it and smiled.

"What's a Best Man do?" Tom asked, puzzled.

"You get to hold the rings, and make sure I don't chicken out 
and hurt your Mom," Harry answered, taking Seven's hand. 

"You chicken out and *I'll* hurt *you*," Tom said seriously, 
before grinning.  "Are you gonna live here?" he asked, 
cocking his head to the side, looking so much like Paris that 
Harry froze for a second.

"Um, yeah, if that's okay with you?" Harry stammered out.

Tom nodded.  "I like having you around, Harry," he said 
quietly, then shrugged, leaning back against the couch.  "I'm 
used to it."


                  <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Chakotay finished tucking Tom in and kissed him 
good-night, teeth clean, face washed and homework done. 
Gods, did the child have homework.  Chakotay couldn't 
believe how much Tom had had to do, more than what he 
assigned his own students, but he hadn't seemed to mind, 
he just dove in after dinner and didn't come up for air until a 
half an hour before bedtime.  Chakotay sighed, dimming the 
lights, and walked into the living room.

He was staying with Tom while Harry and Seven went on 
their honeymoon and was having a wonderful time.  Classes 
were on semester break for him and he had nothing to do for 
another two weeks, even though Harry and Seven would be 
back by then.

Chakotay sat back on the couch and relaxed, thinking back 
to Tom's explaining what he was doing in school when the 
man had gone in to check on him. He'd been stunned. 
Damn, he'd known the boy was smart, but hadn't realized 
*how* smart.  No wonder he was two years ahead of the rest 
of the kids his age.  Bright, quick, funny, and he *loved* 
school, loved math and science, loved reading.  Every 
program chip Chakotay gave him was scoured for texts and 
devoured soon after.  Only one thing gave Voyager's former 
Commander pause.  Tom was fascinated by things that flew. 
He loved hearing about Harry's work and his mother's, and 
had secretly gotten into B'Elanna's, not wanting to upset 
anyone by talking about her, until Harry got wise and offered 
to tell Tom anything he wanted to know.  Now, the boy was 
learning about all the various parts of ships, their systems 
and functions, and having a blast doing it.

Chakotay knew there was no real reason to be worried, but 
he couldn't help it.  If flying was that firmly entrenched within 
the child, it would be as it had been for the adult, if Tom 
became interested in it.  And was any good at it. 
Attention-getting sort of good.  That kind of thing would be 
noticed and remarked upon and if anyone came to see how 
much the boy resembled a certain deceased pilot, all their 
plans could come crashing down around their ears.  

That thought terrified Chakotay, almost to the extent that he 
was tempted to squash Tom's interest.  But, he couldn't do 
it.  It had already happened to Paris once; his father had 
denied him any interests beyond those which would make 
him Starfleet material.  Chakotay was damned if he'd follow 
in those footsteps.  A soft sound caught his attention and he 
looked over to see Tom standing there, leaning against the 
wall.  Gods, sometimes he looked so much like . .

"Hey," said softly as Tom walked forward.

Chakotay held his arms open and Tom lay down at his side, 
barely room for both of them on the couch.  "What are you 
doing awake?" he asked quietly, running his fingers through 
the boy's hair. 

"That problem about the velocity won't go away," Tom 
griped, wrapping his arms around Chakotay.

"You solved it, though," Chakotay said, puzzled.  

"Yeah, but there's something it's reminding me of and I can't 
remember what it is," Tom said sleepily.

Chakotay froze for a moment, then relaxed.  There was no 
way Tom could be remembering anything from his earlier 
life; Kathryn had sworn that wouldn't happen, not until the 
boy's eighteenth birthday.

"Sleep on it, maybe you'll remember in the morning," 
Chakotay said, yawning himself as he pulled down the 
blanket thrown over the back of the couch and covered both 
of them.  He looked down and saw that Tom was already 
asleep. 

"Sweet dreams, Angel," he said quietly, borrowing Seven's 
nickname for the boy, since he'd pretty much outgrown 
'Munchkin'.  "Sweet dreams."


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


"Easy, that's it," Chakotay encouraged the incredibly wired 
ten-year-old at his side, who had his hands moving over the 
helm controls of the shuttle.  "Watch the starboard . ."

"I see it," Tom said, already compensating for the slight 
turbulence.  "There, got it," he grinned, turning to beam at 
Chakotay.

The older man sighed and ruffled Tom's hair, nudging his 
attention back to the control panel.  Why didn't it surprise 
him that the boy was so damned good at this?

He'd promised Tom that if he did well at year-end exams, 
he'd take him flying.  Tom's finishing third out of several 
hundred students had left him with no excuses to delay what 
seemed to be the inevitable.  There was a lot of Tom Paris 
in Tom Hansen and it really showed through when the boy 
was flying. The unmistakable light in the eyes was also a 
dead giveaway.  Chakotay sighed again and Tom looked at 
him out of the corner of those beautiful blue eyes.

"We can go, if you want to," Tom said quietly.  Chakotay 
could've kicked himself.

"You're not done, yet," he said with a fond, encouraging 
smile.

"You're bored, aren't you?" Tom challenged him. 

"I love watching you fly," Chakotay said, biting his tongue to 
keep the words 'I always did' unspoken.  "You're good at 
this," he admitted with slight reluctance.

"Been watching you for *years*," Tom said, a faint smile 
crossing his face.

"What, were you taking notes?" he joked and the grin 
vanished when Tom nodded sheepishly.  "Since when?" he 
asked with mild incredulity.

"When you took me to Australia and we went to the Reef," 
Tom answered quietly.

"You were *three*!" Chakotay exclaimed as Tom shrugged.

"I remember all of it," Tom confessed.  "The rain, cutting my 
foot, the trip back in the storm.  It scared me for a bit, until I 
started watching you.  You looked so calm, like it was no big 
deal, even when the warnings came through about the 
satellites going off-line.  I wasn't scared anymore," the boy 
said, adjusting his descent, waiting for Chakotay to transfer 
helm control to himself and land them on the pad.

"Level out, Tom," Chakotay said after a second of stunned 
silence.  "Decrease your speed, that's it," he said, grinning 
at the surprise and delight on the face of the boy by his side 
as he talked him through the landing.  They touched down 
with the slightest of bumps, barely a jar, and Tom was 
hugging him for all he was worth after he shut the engines 
down.

"Damn, I love you, thank you," Tom gasped out, laughing 
delightedly.

"Language, Angel," Chakotay said with a slight frown, before 
he smiled down at Tom.  "I love you, too, and you're 
welcome."


                     <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Harry wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed the back 
of her neck.  "Where's Tom?" he asked, nuzzling Seven's 
ear until she smiled at him. Gods, he loved that smile.

"Out back with Jennie and Lexan," she murmured against 
the soft, wonderful lips kissing her own.

"Are they discussing life, the universe, and everything, 
again?" Harry smiled, thinking about some of the talks he'd 
overheard those kids having. He didn't think he'd been that 
aware of things when *he* was twelve.  If he had, he'd have 
given his parents nightmares.

"More of 'life' and 'everything', less of 'the universe'," Seven 
commented wryly as Harry laughed before his attention was 
caught by a loud, martyred groan coming from his step-son. 
He'd adopted Tom soon after the wedding, not wanting to 
take a chance on custody being in dispute if, gods forbid, 
anything happened to Seven.  The doorchime sounded and 
Seven went to answer it, welcoming Chakotay in, who was 
joining them for dinner.  The former Commander had 
officially been named one of Tom's godparents, along with 
Kathryn, shortly after Harry and Seven had married.

"How's the cold, cruel world of academia?" Harry asked him 
now as he gave the man a hug, leaving his hand on a broad 
shoulder.

"Cold.  Cruel.  The usual," Chakotay answered, grinning, 
until he heard the argument outside.  "What's going on?"

"The Fearsome Threesome are at it, again," Seven informed 
him, chuckling at his mock groan, before he scowled, 
hearing Lexan call Tom an idiot.

"Don't kill him, he's only a child," Harry quipped, laughing at 
Chakotay's snort.  The three of them sobered abruptly when 
they heard Lex's voice.

"What do you mean, you don't know who your father is?" 
Lexan asked incredulously.

"I mean, I don't know," Tom stated lazily, sharing a 
disgusted look with Jennie, who giggled quietly.

"So, who's Harry?" Lexan asked.

"My step-dad and one of my best friends," Tom answered 
with a grin, knowing he was driving Lex nuts.

"Then, who's Chakotay?"

Tom paused, unaware he had five people waiting for his 
answer.  "Chakotay is . . Chakotay," he answered softly, 
shrugging, laughing when Lex groaned.

"What the hell kind of answer is that?" Lex demanded, with 
all the imperiousness of an almost-thirteen-year-old.

"Lex, for all you know, 'Chakotay' *means* 'father', you 
dumb-ass," Jennie shot back on Tom's behalf.

"Well, double dumb-ass on you!" Lex retorted, before they 
all fell into hysterical laughter.

"Gods, that phrase was big when *I* was in the Academy," 
Chakotay groaned.  "I can't believe anyone still uses it."

"Kirk was a legend," Harry said, smiling.  "Our *grandkids* 
will be calling each other 'double dumb-asses'."

"*There's* something to look forward to," Seven said dryly 
and the adults joined in on the laughter.


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Chakotay paused in going over the most recent batch of 
papers as the whirlwind that was his godson blew into his 
office.

"I need your help," Tom rushed out, mouth and body both 
going at their usual warp speed as he headed for the 
replicator and got himself a glass of iced ginger tea.

"Hello to you, too," Chakotay said fondly, watching the ease 
and grace with which Tom vaulted over his desk and came 
to sit next to him on the cushioned bench in front of the 
window, their favorite spot together.  He appreciated that 
grace, now, having seen Tom fight his way through two 
growth spurts, one at thirteen, with the accompanying voice 
change adding some nice variety to life, and one that 
seemingly ended just after his fifteenth birthday, three 
months earlier.  Which had left him as long-legged and 
gangly as a new-born colt.  And taller than both Harry and 
Chakotay.  Again.

Tom blinked owlishly at the older man and smiled.  "Hello," 
he said, quietly this time.

"How about dropping out of warp and telling me what you 
need my help with?" Chakotay requested with a grin as Tom 
drained the glass and set it on the desk.

"I got qualified for my pilot's license," Tom said hesitantly 
and waited for the explosion.  Nothing happened.  He looked 
at Chakotay quizzically and the man who'd been his best 
friend since birth simply looked back at him. "Did you hear 
me?" he asked.

Chakotay nodded.  "I heard you."

"I didn't think I'd get it, I only went with Lex to give him moral 
support and Dr. Skerrit asked me if I wanted to try, since I'd 
been doing so many of the sims with him and I said sure 
and I got it, but I didn't *mean* to, and now Mom's going to 
*kill* me and Har will probably help her hide the body and 
what are you laughing at?" Tom asked, looking beautifully 
bewildered.

The big man just chuckled.  "Playing the sax has certainly 
increased your lung capacity."

"Chakotay, quit kidding around, I'm in deep shit, here. *Very* 
deep shit," Tom tried not to whine.

Chakotay grimaced at him. "Language, Angel," he remarked 
softly.

"Sorry," Tom apologized instantly, knowing that the man 
didn't like it when he cursed.  

Chakotay debated letting him stew about it, but didn't have 
the heart to.  "No, you're not in . . trouble."

Tom blinked again.  "Why not?" he asked suspiciously.

Chakotay looked at him and smiled.  Tom really was 
beautiful when he was clueless.  Which didn't happen often. 
"Who do you think got your folks to sign the consent to have 
you tested in the first place?"

Tom ran his hands over his face, partially to hide his grin. 
"You did?" he asked softly, whooping as Chakotay nodded. 
"*You* did?" and when the man nodded again, he found his 
arms full of a laughing, ecstatic teenager.  "That's why Dr. 
Skerrit asked me if I wanted to have a go at it, wasn't it?  
You set it up," Tom said, in an awed voice as he pulled 
away briefly to let the smiling brown eyes meet his own 
astonished blue.  "Damn, I love you, thank you," and before 
Chakotay could protest at the language, Tom was back in 
his arms again.

"I love you, too, and you're welcome," Chakotay murmured, 
resting his cheek against hair that was as soft as it had been 
when the young man was a baby.

"You don't know what this means to me," Tom said into his 
best friend's shoulder.

"Oh, I think I do, Angel," Chakotay said quietly, kissing the 
top of Tom's head. "I think I do."


                   <<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Kathryn sat fuming as discussions ebbed and flowed around 
the table.  How the hell could Chakotay do this?  Tom's 
eighteenth birthday, capping one hell of a year for the young 
man, and the man he loved more than anything hadn't 
shown up to celebrate it with him.  Tom was flying. Again. 
Dear Gods, was he flying.  He'd gotten into Research when 
he hit sixteen and graduated school and had never looked 
back.  He'd worked his ass off, getting into B'Elanna's area 
of expertise, designing engines and flying the experimental 
craft they put them in.  The young man was having the time 
of his life, loved his group, his 'partners in crime', as he 
called them, and was making a name for himself 
everywhere.  Even the 'Fleet had heard of him, and *that* 
had caused some scary moments for a while.  He and Harry 
were teaming up, to take things a little further in 
Development, having nailed that contract to work on 
shuttlecraft, and it was a close call which one of them was 
more excited about it.

She sighed for the umpteenth time and met Tom's eyes over 
the table.  His grin coaxed hers from hiding until his attention 
was snagged by Tuvok and they were off, talking about 
music, another one of his loves, which he had 'inherited' 
from Harry.  Kathryn smiled at Seven, who was 
understandably not pleased at being one person short on 
this day.

Seven was also nervous as hell, but Harry's hand in hers 
provided a comfort she couldn't refuse.  None of them knew 
when or how Tom's memory would return, but they'd all 
resolved to be here, to help with the aftermath, if there was 
one.  All except Chakotay.  Damn him.

Harry met Tom's grin as they both got the joke Tuvok was 
telling, yes, *Tuvok*, and Har tried not to let the smile fade 
from his face.  Gods, why wasn't Chakotay here? Okay, 
logically, he *knew* why.  Guilt.  Tom, most likely, would 
remember how and where he'd died and would learn of the 
misunderstanding that had brought it about.  And realize 
Chakotay's part in it.  The older man just couldn't bear 
having the young man he loved so much *hate* him and he 
had convinced himself that Tom *would* hate him.  Harry 
didn't buy it for a second, but nothing could make Chakotay 
believe otherwise. 

He frowned when Tom froze and the fork clattering into his 
plate brought immediate silence.  Harry reached across the 
table as Tom's hands tightened into fists and he gave an 
anguished, choked cry before stricken, blue eyes, filled with 
tears, met Harry's.

"Oh, gods, *B'Elanna*?"  

Seven was out of her seat in an instant as Tom's fist came 
down onto the table, and he threw himself out of his chair, 
meeting Harry, who was coming around the other side.

"No, oh, *please*, no," he cried as Harry's arms came 
around him and held on tight.  "Oh, gods, I'm sorry.  Harry? 
I'm so sorry," and anything else he might have wanted to 
say was choked off by tears.

"I know," Harry said quietly, as Seven's arms came around 
both of them.  "Shh, Tom, it's okay.  I know."

Tom cried quietly for a moment and they let him get it all 
out, in silence.  His eyes traveled around the group and the 
shock as their ages hit him was evident on his face.  Only 
Tuvok seemed even close to unchanged, perhaps aging half 
as much as the rest of them.  Gods, Kathryn's hair streaked 
with gray, Seven's, his *mother's*, turning ash, Harry, with 
lines on his face that hadn't been there the last time he'd 
seen him. He shook his head and began to see things with 
Tom Hansen's eyes, not Tom Paris's, and the years of then 
and now merged together in his mind.  Kathryn saw him 
thinking, looking for the answers, she thought, until he spoke 
next.

"Where's Chakotay?" he grated out.  "Why the *hell* isn't he 
here?"

In the quiet that followed, Tom found his own answer, but it 
wasn't the right one.  That became agonizingly clear with his 
next question.

"Does he hate me *that* much?" Tom asked Harry, his eyes 
filling again.  "He knew, didn't he? You *all* knew this would 
happen today, didn't you?  That's why he's not here," he 
said, turning away from them, arms wrapping around 
himself.

"No, Tom, no, that isn't it," Seven said firmly, squeezing his 
arm gently.

"Mom, this is the birthday I remember who I was and it's the 
*only* one he's ever missed. You didn't raise me to be an 
idiot, I *know* what's going on!" Tom ground out.  "He 
couldn't stand Paris, could he? And now that I've got all his 
memories, now that I remember *everything*, he wants 
nothing to do with me, anymore, right?" he asked, running 
his hands over his face, wiping the tears away.  The 
movement was so like what he'd done as a child that 
Seven's breath caught.

"It's not because of you, Tom," Kathryn said softly, getting 
his attention.  "It's because of him." She gently took his arm, 
led him into the living room, and sat down on the couch.

Tom sat on the floor in front of his former Captain, and 
waited as Harry got comfortable on one side of him while 
Seven took her usual position on the other.  Tuvok was on 
the sofa beside Kathryn, who looked like she was trying to 
find a place to begin.

"Your death was an accident," she started.  "In total 
innocence, you broke one of the Vacurians' Laws, with 
Meikan, when you kissed her hand after wishing her and 
Lechan well.  Lechan went to Chakotay and asked if you 
were sincere and Chakotay replied that you were, meaning 
that you were completely sincere in your good wishes for her 
and her intended.  He didn't realize that Lechan was asking 
about the more damning gesture, which challenged his right 
to be with her on their wedding night," she paused, seeing 
Tom's eyes widen.  

"Lechan stunned me with something and I couldn't speak. 
He told me what my crime was, and the penalty, but I didn't 
understand what he was talking about," Tom said quietly, 
running his hands through his hair, a completely Paris 
gesture that made Harry grin sadly.

"Lechan executed you after recording your last wish and 
assumed your form to bring us to the Gateway and send us 
home," Kathryn went on.

"He mentioned something about my rebirth, to him and 
Meikan," Tom began.

"According to the Law, an executed offender can be reborn 
to parents who will raise him properly the second time 
around.  Chakotay argued convincingly for you to be raised 
by your own people," Kathryn told him. "And after a difficult 
debate, Lechan consented, finally.  Seven volunteered to 
carry you to term.  She gave birth to you and raised you as
her own."

"And Harry and B'Elanna were there, helping me, right down 
the street from day one," Seven told him, lifting a hand to 
brush Tom' hair out of his eyes, before she halted, no longer 
certain if the gesture would be welcome or not.  Tom 
grabbed her hand and held it, rubbing it gently between both
of his own.  

"You're still my mother, and I love you," he said, tears 
slipping down his face as he saw the tears in her eyes and 
Harry's.  "That will never change."  He cleared his throat 
roughly, and grinned at Harry.  "I can't believe what you've 
done for me, what you've given up," he started and choked 
on the words.

"I owed you one, remember?" Harry reminded him, 
chuckling through the tears that nearly blinded him, as Tom 
came into his arms.  They held each other for many quiet 
minutes until Tom finally pulled away.

"So, Chakotay feels responsible for my death?" Tom asked, 
shaking his head as they all nodded.  "Do I *look* dead to 
you?"  He stood up, shakily.  "He doesn't get it, does he? 
Gods, for a smart man, he's an *idiot*!" Tom cried out, 
stalking to the privacy of his room to use the comm unit.

Chakotay's face came into focus minutes later and he could 
tell that Tom knew everything, just by the livid expression on 
his face.  He braced himself for the scathing attack he 
expected, only to find himself stunned at the tears in Tom's 
eyes.

"Why aren't you here? I *need* you," Tom said, pleadingly.

"I *killed* you," Chakotay grated out, running his hands over 
his face.  "You're looking at the man whose thoughtlessness 
lead to your *execution*."

"I'm looking at the man who gave me a second chance at 
*life*," Tom said, eyes burning.  "And I'm looking at the man 
who's been my closest, dearest friend since the day I was 
born.  I love you, and I *want* you here!" Tom cried out in 
anguish.  "You promised me once that if I *ever* needed 
you, all I had to do was ask.  I'm *asking*, Chakotay. 
*Please*."

His former Commander swallowed heavily, exhaling a shaky 
breath.  "On my way," he said roughly, before closing the 
comm.

Tom sat in silence for a minute, then tore out of the house, 
heading to the transporter site at a run.  He found Chakotay 
on the way there and launched himself at the older man. 
"'Kotay," he cried out, voice muffled by the man's shoulder, 
but Chakotay heard him clearly and wrapped his arms 
around Tom.

"Oh, Tom, I'm sorry," he whispered, eyes tightly shut.  "I am 
so, *so* sorry."

"Stop it!" Tom barked out, easing away from the big man, 
taking in the additional lines on his face and the 
more-salt-than-pepper hair. "It wasn't your fault," he said 
brokenly, grabbing Chakotay's arm as he turned away.  "It 
*wasn't*!  It was an accident, like a hundred other accidents. 
You didn't *mean* to hurt me, dammit, don't you think I 
*know* that?  Shit!"  He wiped his face with his hands and 
saw Chakotay looking at him with familiar disapproval.

"Language, Angel," Chakotay said automatically, before his 
eyes widened at his words.  "Sorry," he murmured, looking 
down.

"Don't you *dare* stop," Tom begged, shaking his head at 
the man in front of him. "Gods, anything but that, please. 
Don't you dare stop giving a damn about me. I still need you. 
I will *always* need you.  Tom Hansen will never *stop* 
needing you."

"What about Tom Paris?" Chakotay asked, wiping Tom's 
tears away with gentle fingers.

"I'm not him, not anymore, Chakotay," Tom said, taking hold 
of the man's wrists.  "And I don't have to be.  I don't *want* 
to be.  Don't you know what you've done for me?  Don't you 
*get* it?  I've got a whole life, now, without the regrets and 
the mistakes.  Everything I did wrong as Tom Paris I can let 
go of.  It's got nothing to do with Tom Hansen.  I've got a 
wonderful future ahead of me, Chakotay!  You gave me that. 
You didn't mean to, and it was an accident, but I'm *glad* it 
happened," Tom said insistently.  

"The last memory I have as Tom Paris is almost twenty 
years old," he went on.  "And it was the best one, Chakotay. 
My last request was the best thing I'd ever done in my life, 
next to saving yours.  It brought all of us home and gave me 
a fresh start.  And *that's* the one I'm going to keep.  The 
rest really don't matter a happy goddamn, you know?" he 
asked, grinning slightly.

"Language, Angel," Chakotay choked out and found Tom in 
his arms again.  "I will *never* stop caring about you.  I will 
*never* stop loving you.  You are the most wonderful thing 
that has *ever* happened to me." And he couldn't go on, 
couldn't do more than hold the man he loved close to him. 
And, fortunately, he didn't have to.


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Chakotay's face was gray when he entered the medical 
center and saw Harry and Seven talking to the Doctor.

"How is he?" he asked without preamble.

Voyager's former EMH sighed, backtracking slightly to tell all 
of them at once.  "As I was explaining to Harry and Seven, 
he's going to be fine. Some burns and bruising, which I've 
already taken care of.  Another hour, just to update his 
condition, and you can take him home."

Chakotay rubbed his face with his hands, making Seven 
smile slightly as she realized where Tom had picked the 
gesture up from. Her smile vanished when she heard 
Chakotay's next comment.

"This is all my fault."

"Like *hell* it is!" Harry exclaimed.  "It was an accident, 
Chakotay, it wasn't anyone's *fault*."

"I shouldn't have encouraged him," Chakotay murmured.

"You couldn't have stopped him," Seven said quietly.  "This 
part of him was not to be denied."

"Besides, if he wasn't as good as he was, three people 
would be dead, right now, including him," Harry added.

"How did it happen?" Chakotay asked, willing to table his 
responsibility for the moment. 

Harry explained about the problems they'd been having 
getting even energy flows from the newest power source 
available, a variety of dilithium with an artificially added 
element, which made using less to do more, possible.  But, 
regulating the flow was proving almost *im*possible.  Tom 
had been working on the prototype, trying to stabilize the 
energy flow, when a power surge had blown the port nacelle, 
then shorted out most of helm control.  He'd had to do 
everything manually and was trying to get the experimental 
shuttle down, when the starboard nacelle had blown out and 
the craft had nearly crashlanded.  Only Tom's skill and cool 
head had guaranteed the survival of everyone onboard and 
the other two crewmembers made sure that Harry and the 
investigators knew it.

"Can I see him?" Chakotay asked quietly.

Harry, Seven and the Doctor exchanged a look that missed 
their former Commander completely.

"Of course," the Doctor allowed.  "I have some things I need 
to discuss with Seven and Harry, in the meantime."

Chakotay cautiously entered Tom's room and sighed in relief 
as Tom turned toward him, holding out a hand from under 
the covers.  He crept forward shakily and took it, sitting next 
to Tom's hip on the narrow bed.

Tom reassured, "I'm fine" just as Chakotay asked, "Are you 
okay?"  They both shared a slight grin.

"Damn, you scared me," Chakotay said roughly as he 
stroked the back of Tom's hand. 

"Sorry," Tom murmured with a tired smile.

"It's okay," Chakotay soothed him. "Just don't do it again."

Tom snorted lightly.  "Scared me, too," he admitted softly. 
"Shades of Caldik Prime all over again.  Too close for 
comfort."

"It wasn't your fault," Chakotay protested.

"I know," Tom said, nodding his head.  "The memories of 
Caldik Prime hit me after it was over, when Hanks and 
Tomerone were making sure I was still alive."

"You make a great team," Chakotay said.

"The best," Tom answered instantly, yawning.

"I was impressed with how well you took to being part of a 
group, even after," Chakotay commented.

"After I remembered being Paris?" Tom asked, although he 
knew the answer.  "I like being part of a team, sharing their 
problems and victories, having them share mine."  

"Paris wouldn't have done as well at that," Chakotay said.

"Paris couldn't fly without a spotlight on him," Tom muttered 
uncharitably.  "Tom Paris was impressed with Tom Paris. 
But, I'm not him anymore."

"Harry said your crew was impressed at how calm you were, 
how well you handled the crash," Chakotay said as Tom's 
eyes slid shut.

"You taught me that," Tom murmured sleepily.  "Calm, cool, 
collected, remember?  You were a damned fine teacher."

"Language, Angel," Chakotay said, smiling, running his 
fingers through Tom's hair before cupping a pale cheek in 
his hand.  "And you were a damned fine student."

Tom smiled faintly, mostly asleep already.

"Get some rest," Chakotay said softly, preparing to leave.

"Don't go," Tom protested in a fuzzy whisper.  "Don't leave 
me."

"I'll be right here when you wake up," Chakotay promised, 
settling back down and kissing the young man's forehead. 
"Right here."  He watched Tom sleep and thought about the 
same thing he'd been thinking about almost constantly since 
Tom's eighteenth birthday, that it was amazing how well two 
disparate lives had merged into one complete being.

He hadn't realized how much he'd been both looking forward 
to Paris's return while, at the same time, fearing Hansen's 
disappearance.  But, he had both, in one exhilarating, 
exasperating, fascinating package.  He'd *missed* Paris, 
missed that irreverent wit, creative genius, and sparkling 
passion for the things he truly cared about.  But, he would've 
hated to lose his Angel's warm humor and gentleness, or the 
breathtaking energy and excitement.  His Angel.

Chakotay looked at Tom and frowned, thinking again. 
Spirits, he was beautiful.  Inside and out.  They'd done a 
damned fine job, raising this man to adulthood.  In many 
ways, Tom was more like him than any of the others. 
Granted, Tom had inherited a lot of Seven's strength and 
wryness, and Harry had gifted him with his sweetness, 
compassion, and love of music, as well as rounding out her 
intelligence and scientific curiosity with his own.  But Harry 
had been more of a loving father than a caring friend from 
the beginning, while Chakotay had been, as Tom put it, his 
'closest, dearest friend since the day he was born'.  It never 
ceased to amaze him how much he and Tom had in 
common, how close they were.   Closer than Tom and Harry 
were, to tell the truth.  Even now, when Tom had all of 
Paris's memories at the ready, he *still* loved Chakotay with 
an honesty of emotion that delighted the older man. And 
Chakotay loved him, with an intensity that surprised him. 
Stronger than friendship, really, he admitted to himself, as 
long as he was being honest about it.  Much stronger.  

He looked at the hand in his and exhaled heavily.  That was 
part of the problem, if you could call it a problem.  How 
*much* he loved Tom.  And *how* he loved Tom.  Chakotay 
looked up and smiled as Seven and Harry came into the 
room.  It was definitely something he was going to have to 
think about some more. Later. 


                   <<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Chakotay met Tom's grin with one of his own as he walked 
through the door.

"How's the new place?" he asked, giving the young man a 
warm hug as he took a quick look around.

"Quiet," Tom murmured, not wanting to let go of him just yet.

"I'll bet," Chakotay said softly.  "First time you've been on 
your own since the day you were born."

Tom laughed a little.  "I know I'm right down the street, but it 
feels like I'm on another planet."

Chakotay cupped Tom's face in his hands and kissed his 
forehead.  Tom wrapped his hands around the other man's 
wrists and sighed.  "I am so glad you're here," he whispered.

"Angel, you okay?" Chakotay asked gently.

"Would you believe homesick?" Tom joked, but Chakotay 
could hear the truth in it.

"Yes, I would," he smiled when Tom did and took another 
look around.  "Gods, this place is *huge*."

"Yeah, the space sold it for me," Tom nodded, following the 
older man as he showed him around.  "Plenty of room to 
work, with three bedrooms."

"Work, huh?" Chakotay asked lightly, as he saw the pool 
table sitting center stage in the enormous study.

"It's very helpful," Tom said with an odd mix of Paris's wry 
wit and Hansen's gentle humor. "Angles, vectors, velocity, 
points of impact.  *Extremely* useful."

Chakotay laughed as they walked back into the living room 
and Tom threw himself on the couch.  He joined the younger 
man and opened his mouth to speak, when a message 
came over the comm.  Tom had set it up to record and 
Chakotay watched as Tom grimaced when he heard Lex's 
voice, asking him out for the following night, dinner, maybe 
dancing.

"Are you and he . .?" Chakotay broke off as Tom flinched.

"Hell, no," Tom said, shaking his head.

"Language, Angel," Chakotay murmured, more out of habit 
than anything.  Tom snorted.

"Am I ever going to be old enough to swear?" he asked, 
smiling bemusedly.

"No," Chakotay deadpanned, making Tom laugh out loud, as 
he'd intended.  "So, why 'hell, no'?" he asked, frowning.

"Oh, gee, Chakotay, I don't know," Tom said in what the 
other man termed his 'almost Paris' voice, complete with 
slight sarcasm.  "The fact that I'm three times his age, 
maybe?" 

"He doesn't know that," Chakotay protested.

"And I'm not about to tell him," Tom assured him. "We were 
getting close, nothing major, but it was happening.  Until I 
went from being eighteen to fifty-one years old one evening. 
I *can't*, now, Chakotay.  He's just a kid," Tom said wryly.

"Anyone else interesting?" Chakotay asked, concerned yet 
relieved when Tom shook his head.

"I'm completely incongruous, Chakotay," Tom said quietly as 
he shook his head.  "Older men aren't comfortable with the 
seeming age difference and younger men want to play 
around.  I'm too old for that.  I've got an old mind in a young 
body and I can't explain to my friends why I'm not as much 
fun as I used to be.  I can't tell anyone what's happened to 
me. Not that I really want to or anything," he hastened to 
add.  "But, I couldn't, even if I *did* want to.  And, the only 
men I know who don't make me feel like a freak are you, 
Har, and Tuvok.  Tuvok's married, Har's married to my 
*Mom*, and you're . . well . ." Tom trailed off, shrugging.

"I'm what?" Chakotay asked softly.

"You're . . Chakotay," Tom finished weakly, looking 
thoughtful as the other man reached his hand out along the 
back of the couch and ran his fingers over his cheek, 
through his hair.

"Meaning what, exactly?" Chakotay grinned a little as Tom's 
face took on that 'beautifully bewildered' look he loved so 
much.

"I don't know," Tom said, getting a little exasperated. 
"Off-limits, unavailable, not interested?"

Chakotay just smiled at him. 

"What?" Tom asked quietly, not too sure he wanted to hear 
it.

"You're cute when you're clueless," Chakotay said warmly. 
"I've always thought so."

Tom blinked at him. "What about the whole 'father-figure' 
thing?" he asked, deadly serious, eyes raking the older man 
over, looking for any sign that he was kidding.

"I have *never* felt like your father, ever," Chakotay said 
softly.  "I always knew who you were going to be, eventually, 
and I never had *paternal* feelings for you."

"Then, what kind of feelings?" Tom asked, puzzled, picking 
up on the emphasis Chakotay had put on 'paternal'.

"Friendship, always," Chakotay answered him, smiling. 
"Since the day you were born, just about."

"Please tell me you're serious," Tom begged quietly, 
wondering if this was actually what it sounded like.

"I'm totally serious," Chakotay answered him. "I've loved you 
as a friend for as long as I can remember.  I loved watching 
you grow up, become who you are.  You scared me with 
your love of flying, scared the hell out of *all* of us, but, 
gods, what you've done with it is amazing, what you've 
accomplished already, at such a young age.  I am *so* 
proud of you," he trailed off when he saw the tears in Tom's 
eyes, and wrapped his arms around the man again.

"If I can become half the man you are, I will *truly* have 
accomplished something," Tom said, burying his face in 
Chakotay's shirt.

"Oh, Angel," Chakotay murmured, rubbing the younger 
man's back.  "Thank you."
                       
"This could be really . ." Tom trailed off, overwhelmed.

" . . Awkward?" Chakotay offered, surprised when Tom 
shook his head violently.

"No, *wonderful*," Tom said, pulling back to look at the man 
he loved more than anything.  "Really, truly, wonderful."

"It's going to look odd," Chakotay cautioned him. "Your 
friends are going to wonder what the hell's going on with 
you."

"I'll just tell them that I prefer older men," Tom said, with 
Hansen's warmth and Paris's mischievousness before he 
laughed at Chakotay's expression.  "If I'm being a brat, just 
tell me." 

"You are not, nor could you ever *be*, a brat," Chakotay said 
fondly, remembering.  "Are you going to be okay with this?" 
he asked, seriously.

"Yeah," Tom said thoughtfully.  "I've loved you forever.  The 
*how* just changed when I wasn't looking."

"I was looking, Angel," Chakotay said quietly.  "I never took 
my eyes off you."

Tom smiled, caressing Chakotay's face with the backs of his 
fingers.  The older man closed his eyes briefly at the contact 
until Tom's voice murmured in his ear.  "Chakotay, I've got 
the body of a mostly-virginal nineteen-year-old," he grinned 
when the older man groaned.  "Be gentle with me." 


                    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


"Tom's not here, yet," Harry said as he greeted Chakotay 
warmly, pulling him inside.  The younger man's twentieth 
birthday party was getting under way and the guest of honor 
was no where to be found.  Chakotay just grinned.  He knew 
exactly where Tom was, still getting showered and dressed 
after being loved passionately to within an inch of his life. 
But, no one knew about that, not just yet.

Kathryn came over to greet him and he beamed at her, 
taking her pleasantly by surprise.

"Hello," he singsonged at her, the grin becoming 
permanently imbedded on his face.

"You look happier than I've seen you in way too long," she 
said, kissing his cheek.

"I *am* happier than I've been in way too long," he admitted, 
sighing contentedly.  "I've found someone amazing to share 
my life with."

"Well, I'm happy for you, whoever she is," Harry rejoiced 
silently that the man was no longer alone, but wondering 
why he hadn't brought her along.

"*He* is," Chakotay said with an almost-dreamy look on his 
face.  "And you may change your mind about that when you 
find out just *who* he is."

"Is he coming?" Seven asked, looking pleased for him.

Chakotay nodded, smiling impishly.  "He's on his way."

Just then, Tom burst through the door and rushed into the 
living room, still at warp, freezing when he saw the grin on 
his lover's face before his own answered it, like he could 
help it.

"Hi," he said quietly, grinning from ear to ear, as he came to 
stand next to Chakotay.

"Hi, Angel," Chakotay answered softly.

No one said anything as the two men continued to stare at 
each other, until the light dawned on everyone in the room 
and Harry cleared his throat after exchanging a wide-eyed 
look with Seven, who put her hand in his and squeezed 
excitedly.

"May I ask what your intentions are toward our son?" Harry 
asked, a huge grin on his face as Tom blushed scarlet.

"Nothing but honorable," Chakotay said, chuckling.

"Oh, like *hell*," Tom sputtered, making everyone laugh.

"Language, Angel," Chakotay said as he gently kissed Tom, 
who rolled his eyes at him until they fell shut as the kiss 
went on and on.

"Ahem," Kathryn cut in amusedly.  

"Dinner," Seven suggested, smiling at Tom, whose eyes 
looked glazed over.

"Yeah, food sounds good," he murmured, smiling at 
Chakotay.

"You need to keep your strength up," Chakotay said under 
his breath, beaming when Tom blushed again.  "You know, I 
always thought blue was your color, but bright pink really 
looks good on you."

Tom glared at him, before the grin poked through and he 
laughed helplessly.

"And so it begins," the young man murmured, coming into 
the dining room and sitting next to Chakotay, who took his 
hand in his own.

Janeway smiled at them both and was pleased to see that 
Harry and Seven were as happy for them as she was. 
Tuvok didn't even seem surprised, not that you'd know it by 
looking at him, anyway.  But, seeing the two of them 
together felt . . right, somehow.

"This is going to make life interesting," she said wryly, as 
Chakotay laughed, looking fondly at Tom, who sighed 
heavily, smiling.

"Glad to see I haven't lost my touch," Tom said, his voice a 
perfect blend of Paris and Hansen as he kissed Chakotay's 
wrist.  "I've always had a talent for making life interesting."

"You'll get no complaints from me," his lover whispered, 
leaning forward to plant a kiss on Tom's lips.  "I'm looking 
forward to your making my life interesting for a long time to 
come."

"So am I," Tom murmured back.  "So am I."


**************************************end