****************************************************

Disclaimer time once again!   Fifty-fourth verse same as the 
first . .everybody *sing*:

I don't own these characters, (chorus) Paramount does!
I don't own this venue, (chorus) Paramount does!
I am making no money off of this, (chorus) Paramount does 
not either!

This story will eventually involve sex between two men, aka: 
slash.  If that is *not* your cup of tea, sweet as it is, then 
don't read it!  (simple, ain't it??) Feedback is *very* much 
appreciated, and always answered.  Flames will be passed 
around to friends and chuckled over.  :)

Yes, another series.  <sigh>  Sequel to 'Ssst', 'Growl' and 
'Chuckle'.

'Sob' by Amirin <groh@iquest.net>


****************************************************


"Hey, Tom.  It's me. Harry."

<sigh>

"How're you doing?  The Doc says you're a little better, 
today.  More up to speed, at any rate."

<squirm>  

"B'Elanna said I should stop by.  She said it would be good 
for me."

<snort>

"Like seeing you laid out as still as a corpse could ever be 
'good for me'."

<sigh>

"Sorry.  I'm sorry.  For more than you know."

<snort>

"Did she tell you it was all my fault?  Huh?  Did she?  Did 
she just happen to mention that I practically got you 
*killed*?"

<sniff>

<whisper>  "It was my fault.  *All* my fault.  Chakotay has 
been trying to tell me that he was equally responsible for 
distracting me, but we all know better, don't we?"

<shaky smirk>

"I seem to have acquired this unique talent for hurting you. 
But, I bet you noticed, huh? Yeah, of course you did."

<sigh>

"Can I tell you how sorry I am?  Would you even believe 
me? Or would you just look at me and say something like 
'Ensign, I think you're needed on the Bridge'."

<sniff>

"I hate that, just so you know."

<snort>

"I hate that you can't even force yourself to say my *name*, 
anymore.  I was always 'Harry' to you.  From the start.  Just 
Harry.  Now, I feel like I've lost myself, like part of me is 
missing.  And it's you.  You've got that part.  You know?"

<sniff>

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I *swear* I didn't.  And don't 
blame Seven, it wasn't her fault, either.  It just *happened*. 
She didn't realize the consequences of her actions and I 
was totally thrown and only got my brain and my cock back 
under control after it was too late.  All she did was kiss me 
and I was up against the wall, peeling her clothes off . . ."

<groan>

"I'm sorry.  I didn't come here to give you a play-by-play of 
my infidelity.  It was just so . . . *overwhelming*.  She caught 
me completely off guard and I wasn't thinking . . . I'm so 
sorry.  I still can't believe you didn't tell everyone.  I would 
have deserved it.  I still do."

<sigh>

<whisper>  "I didn't mean to hurt you.  Gods, the look on 
your face when you found out . . . oh, Tom.  Dammit . . ."

<sniff>  <sob>

"And your voice . . . so soft and gentle when you told me . . . 
that I should have let you know that I was just *settling* for 
you, because I couldn't have *her*.  That you wouldn't have 
let yourself fall in love with me, if you'd known.  That you 
would've let me fuck you all I wanted to, anyway.  That I 
didn't need to lie to you, tell you I loved you, just to get into 
your bed.  That you would have welcomed me there, 
regardless . . ."

<sniff>  <choke>  <sob>

"Dammit, I didn't mean it.  I didn't *mean* to hurt you.  I 
really didn't."

<choke>  <sob>

"I don't *know* what happened.  Dammit, I don't *know*!  I 
didn't lie to you, I *swear* I didn't.  I know you probably don't 
believe me, hell, *I* wouldn't believe me. But, it's the truth.  I 
*loved* you.  I *did*.  Really.  Really, Tom.  I did.  Part of me 
still does.  Still . . ."

<sob>  <sniff>

"And I need for you to wake up, so I can *tell* you that.  I 
need for you to believe me. I need you to tell me it's all right, 
that you can . . . forgive me . . . maybe? I dunno . . ."

<sob>

"*Dammit*, I didn't want this to happen. I saw how you were 
after B'Elanna got together with Vorik.  I know how much 
she hurt you and I *swore* to myself that I would never do 
that to you.  That I loved you more than she ever did or 
could and I would never do that . . ."

<sniff>

"And look what I did to you.  What I've *done* to you.  Gods, 
*look* at you.  Wake up.  Dammit, Tom, wake up and tell me 
to shut up, go to hell, something.  *Anything*.  Please.  Oh, 
gods, *please*."

<sniff>

"*Please* . . ."

<sob>


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