Okay, kids, it disclaimer time, Everybody sing . . I don't own the characters, (chorus) Paramount does! I don't own the venue, (chorus) Paramount does! I don't make any money off of this, (chorus) Paramount does not either! Good enough?? The following involves sex between two men, if that is not your cup of tea, sweet as it is, then don't read this. Feedback always welcome and will be answered. Flames will be passed around to friends and chuckled over. “Stewing” by Amirin (groh@iquest.net) It had been one of those days that could not *possibly* suck any more. Tom just had to get away from everyone, knowing that he would probably say or do something he'd regret if he didn't have some time alone to decompress. His quarters seemed too damned small and pacing wouldn't help much, so he headed to the holodeck. Standing outside the doors, he debated his choices. Maybe the grove again, with the hot springs? No, wait, the in-ground hot tub sounded like a better idea. He set it up and walked through the arch, noticing immediately that the grove was still programmed for spring. Harry and B'Elanna's picnic, right. Tom saw one of the irridescent butterflies Harry had programmed; the ones with the footlong wing spans, and decided he was *not* in the mood for spring. As he noticed the steam rising from the hot tub, he decided he needed more than hot water, as well. "Computer, make it winter, six inches of snow, and get rid of all animal life forms." Much better; totally silent now, dormant and peaceful, waiting for . . . what, he didn't know. Gazing at the large cedar tub, he had an idea. Something he hadn't tried for awhile, would never try unless he was alone. He instructed the computer to run the necessary subroutine and checked out the liquid the water had been replaced with. Perfect. Tom stripped off his clothes and, leaving them where they dropped, walked around the terra cotta deck and down the steps into the warm, almost hot, fluid. The dark orange deck was the only spot of color in this winter wonderland. Tom debated changing it but decided to leave well enough alone. He settled back against the seat that ran around the inside of the hot tub, and breathed of sigh of relief. This was exactly what he needed; the only decent thing about this day, so far. Things had been very quiet in the quadrant recently, and The Commander had decided to run a few simulations to keep everyone expert in duties that, admittedly, hadn't had much of a workout lately. It *had* been a good idea; people weren't concentrating as intently, reaction times *were* slower, and it would have been great for relieving the ennui that had crept into their days. A person could only stand so much of the same old, same old. However, Tom hadn't been in too receptive a mood and had seen it as yet another opportunity for The Commander to Make His Life A Living Hell. Tom had been bored and had tried some manuevers that had worked fine in practice. But, in the simulations, the ship had been unable to handle the 120% of optimum stress on the hull, and simulated breaches had broken out *everywhere*. The Commander had, of course, come down on Tom like a ton of bricks, but doing so in front of everyone on the bridge *was* unnecessary. The Captain, wisely, had called a halt to the sims, and called in the next shift, so Tom was able to leave the bridge, trailing an almost palpable wake of frustration and anger behind him. Thinking about it now was pissing him off all over again, but the liquid surrounding him was working it's magic and the negative emotions and energy were being absorbed by it. It was a very good thing that no one else was in there with him, or they would be bearing the brunt of all that hostility; feeling it as acutely as he had. He would probably need to replace it all a couple of times before he'd be civilized company for anybody. Tom heard the holodeck doors open and, thinking it was probably Harry, turned toward him with a welcome on his face. Shit. Not Harry. Commander Chakotay saw the smile disappear from Tom's face at near-warp speed, and sighed. The Captain had told him that his behavior was uncalled for, that Tom's piloting had worked in practice on the holodeck, and that Tom had even mentioned to the Captain his wish that he could try them out sometime on the real bridge. Chakotay had to admit that the Lieutenant's skill had been impressive and the flying, breathtaking. If only the hull hadn't 'collapsed' in nearly four dozen places. After speaking with the Captain, he had felt the need to apologize and checked with the computer for Tom's location. Upon hearing he was on the holodeck, Chakotay figured he would have been practicing, but here he was, in a hot tub, in the middle of *winter* for crying out loud. Damn, it was *cold*. Chakotay braced himself and headed over to Tom. "Greetings, Commander, what can I do for you?" Chakotay thought it almost sounded like a growl, but didn't really want to get into it, he had, after all, come to apologize. "Paris, I just came to apologize. I've realized that my behavior was uncalled for, and I wanted you to know." Oh, yeah, right. "You realized, or the Captain realized, Commander?" Hell. "The Captain brought it to my attention, but she was absolutely right. I had no right to jump on you like that, in front of the crew." "Fine, Commander." She's probably waiting for him right outside the door, making sure he does the right thing whether he really believes its necessary or not. "Paris . ." "It's *fine* Commander. Apology accepted, all right?" "No, it's not all right. You're still angry." Damn it was really getting cold in here, and what the hell was with the 'Commander' crap, anyway? Chakotay thought for a moment and realized that he couldn't remember the last time Paris had called him by name. "Don't worry about it, Commander, I'll get over it." Tom could feel himself getting madder; could feel it swirling around him in the still-hot liquid as it moved around his body. What was it going to take to get The Commander the *hell* out of here? There he goes again with the Commander, thought Chakotay. "Paris, I left the Commander outside the door. *I* came in here to talk to you, okay? Me, Chakotay." "Fine, I'll use your name if you'll use mine." What the hell am I *doing*? "What are you talking about, Paris? I've been using your name since I came in here." "Paris is not my name, it's my *Father's* name. My name is Tom, remember?" Will you shut the hell up? What's wrong with you? "Tom . . what's wrong? Is it what happened on the bridge . .?" Chakotay couldn't remember ever seeing him look so raw, so . . "No, *Chakotay*, I'm just tired." That was good. "Just tired of all the constant fighting and conflict. With you, with B'Elanna, with damn near everybody." That was *not* good. Dammit, Tom, don't go there. Chakotay stepped closer and walked around the deck toward Tom. "Tom, I'm sorry . ." "Oh, no, not pity. Shit, I'd rather you come at me with a phaser in your hand than pity in your eyes." Damn, this was not going well at all. If you keep this up, Tommy boy, you'll be telling him *everything*. "Tom, this is *not* pity," Chakotay said, gently, as he crouched down to Tom, "This is compassion and concern and if you don't recognize them, then it's been way too long since you've seen either." Knock it off, please, before I actually start believing you give a damn. Tom tried to think of something clever, witty to say to break the mood, but nothing was coming to mind. It was almost as if part of him *didn't* want this to stop, but that was impossible, wasn't it? Chakotay shivered, again. "Damn, does it *have* to be *winter*?" "It's always winter, for me, Chakotay . ." Oh, *good job*, idiot. Time to cover with a smart-ass grin. "Tom, you're wallowing . ." "Chakotay, you don't know how right you are," Tom snorted. Wallowing in this wonderful liquid that Chakotay was just about to put his hand into. Chakotay was watching how the water sloshed around the edges of the hot tub. Wait a minute, water doesn't slosh like that. He was reaching toward it when Tom's voice stopped him. "*Don't*, Chakotay." "Tom, what *is* this . .stuff?" Tom moved the liquid around on his hands, watching as it flowed around his fingers. "The base is water, but it's been super-saturated with analytes. It creates a sort of bio-electrical energy that reacts to the energy of my emotions and absorbs them, pulling them out of me and into the surrounding liquid." "Empathic water?" Chakotay couldn't believe this, this was too, this was absolutely . . "Tom, that's ingenious." Tom glanced up to see the wonder on Chakotay's face and Tom's delight turned to dismay as Chakotay started stripping out of his uniform. The dismay was turning into, uh oh. "Chakotay, you really don't want to do this, *wait*." It was too late as Chakotay got into the hot tub and sat down across from him on the bench. Oh, no. Chakotay watched the as the liquid moved around him. This felt amazing. It was like bathing in pure energy. Warm, soft, wonderful. He noticed he was beginning to feel . . . things. Like anger, slightly, frustration, loneliness, depression, a little . . Uh oh, *this* was why Tom didn't want him in the water, he was feeling Tom's emotions, emotions pulled out of Tom by the analytes in suspension. Wait a minute, what was that? That almost felt like, no, it couldn't be. "Tom?" Chakotay looked up but Tom wouldn't meet his eyes, "What *is* that?" "What does it feel like, Chakotay?" Ah, hell, it had only been for second, just as Chakotay was getting into the water, that wonderful golden skin standing out in sharp contrast to the white, snowy background. That dark, beautiful body moving slowly down the steps; damn, how could the man not know how sexy he looked? Uh oh. Chakotay was trying to put a name to the intense . . . what, what *was* that? Oh, wait a minute, oh, gods, there it was again, stronger, all around him, flowing through him, oh sweet spirit, what was that *feeling*, that needing, wanting, desiring . . shit. Oh, shit. Wait a damn minute, this was *Tom*. *Paris*. The *pilot*, for the love of . . oh, yeah, there it was again. Chakotay looked up again at Tom, the shock he was feeling was written all over his face, it had to be, that stunned disbelief, and . .oops, uh oh. Tom felt Chakotay's shock and awe and . . wait a minute, what was that? Oh, this was too much. "Computer, remove fluid and replace with fresh, *now*." "Tom, I felt what you were feeling, all the anger, and sorrow, all that frustration. Was all that from what happened earlier, during the simulation?" Oh, I'm sorry, Tom, I am so sorry. "Don't worry about it, Chakotay, I'll live. It's not so bad, now, anyway, this stuff does its job well." More pity, I just can't take anymore . . wait, where did all that . . regret come from? Him? He really *is* sorry, isn't he? "Chakotay, it's all right, really." "No, it's not all right, Tom." Damn, I wish I knew why I always react to him so badly, why I'm so . . hostile all the time. Whoa, there, Chakotay, what you're feeling now isn't hostility, it's almost, like, well, . . want. Not reacting so badly to him now, are you? Uh oh. "Yes, it *is* all right, you didn't know I had worked on those moves before, you thought I was being reckless and possibly endangering the crew. It's okay . . it's . ." Oh, *man*, does that feel good. "Chakotay, what are you . .ohhh . ." Tom couldn't help responding to that wonderful warm caress of emotion. His head fell back onto the deck, his arms coming out of the water to hold onto the sides of the hot tub. Oh, *yes*. Chakotay watched Tom's head fall back, saw that long throat move, that back arch slightly, those shoulders tense . . "Tom, what I felt earlier, from you, it felt like . ." "Desire, I know, I'm sorry, I never meant to . ." "Tom, *Tom* . ." Tom's head came up as he looked at Chakotay. "Tom, do it again." Oh, *gods*. Tom closed his eyes and thought of Chakotay earlier, how he looked stripping off his clothing, how much Tom wanted to help him, touch him, everywhere, everything. Chakotay felt the wave hit and tried to remember how to breathe. The circuit they made together; he'd never felt anything like it. This was unreal and so damned good. He looked at Tom. "Too far away, please . . make the tub . . smaller." Barely heard Tom's voice give command to his request. Damn, the man was still capable of forming complete sentences. Had to be something he could do about that. He looked across the diminshed distance to Tom and realized then that their hands were on the edge of the tub. He could almost, there, now he had ahold of Tom's hands, the only part of them touching. Tom held onto him and looked back through narrowed eyes. Gods, Tom's eyes weren't even blue anymore, so dark, almost gray, and that *look*. Great spirit, did *I* do that to him? Or was it just a rebound, Tom feeling what Chakotay was feeling that Tom was feeling. Gods, it was making him dizzy just thinking about it. There must be something I can do to see if he's really feeling what I am. The idea that came to him made him smile slightly. What the hell is he smiling at? I'll give *him* something to smile at, by the gods. Tom closed his eyes and relaxed, thinking about Chakotay sitting there, across from him, naked, knees almost touching, as the water caressed his body. Damn, Tom envied the water. Picturing his hands slowly sliding up Chakotay's arms, gently touching those shoulders, oh gods . . Chakotay leaned his head back and thought about Tom sitting there across from him; that body, naked; those hands, in his; the water moving around him, touching him everywhere. Damned lucky water. Chakotay's head snapped up. What now? Oh, not *again*. He couldn't help it; he groaned aloud and heard the echo coming from across the hot tub as Tom moaned. "Liked that, huh?" Chakotay said softly, loving Tom's response as the other man's hands tightened on his. "Damn arrogant son of a . . oh, heaven and *hell*, Chakotay, do that again." Tom couldn't help it and he hated begging, really hated it, but something had taken over his body, leaving him craving more of these unbelievable sensations. He dimly heard Chakotay say, what? No, he couldn't have said *that*. "Tom, I want to touch you, I really *need* to touch you, please." Chakotay had never felt this . .*aware* of another human being before in his life. It was almost as if he knew what Tom would *feel* like under his hands, how warm and soft his skin would be, how his mouth would taste and how his lips would feel, what would make him groan, what would make him scream, what would make him beg, and oh, gods, what would make him come. Oh, *yes*. And people think *I'm* the oversexed sensualist. What is this man doing to me? Does he know, does he have any idea? Tom felt another wave hit him, hard. "Oh, Chakotay, it can't be healthy to be that repressed," Tom couldn't help gasping. *Where* was all of this coming from? Chakotay chuckled. Gods love the man, Tom's sense of humor was intact. Chakotay's control was not. He couldn't get air into his lungs fast enough and the water, skies above, the *water* was enough of an emotional soup to send a vulcan into Pon Farr. Chakotay let go of Tom's left hand and began to touch him, slowly, oh, so slowly, up his arm. Just the slightest bit of physical contact and Tom was feeling like a shuttle crash. He couldn't break eye contact, he just couldn't and Chakotay was coming closer to him, moving those wonderful fingers gently up his arm and nearly to his shoulder, now and oh, yeah, across the shoulder and slowly up his neck, stopping just below his ear . . stopping, what the hell is he *stopping* for? Chakotay was getting ready for the next wave. He knew it was coming, had seen Tom's eyes dilate, watched with delight the breathing speed up, the slight shaking in the arm underneath his fingers. Damn, Tom's eyes were beautiful. Maybe it was just the soul inside that made them so, but oh, so *beautiful*. And those lips, full, warm, soft. Gods, I'm actually going to do this, I going to kiss him. Oh, help me . . The wave had arrived, with a vengeance, and Chakotay could feel Tom's pleasure coursing through him, through the water, and slamming back into Chakotay with such intensity that he could *feel* Tom cry out with the force of it before he actually heard him, aloud. Oh, this was too much, and at the same time not enough, nowhere near enough for Tom as Chakotay slid closer. Their legs were touching, now, and Tom had to let go of the edge of the tub, just had to, and bring his hand through the water to stop and rest on Chakotay's shoulder and then slide slowly down his arm as Tom gently pulled him closer. Gods, he could almost feel his heartbeat echoing in the water around them, so intense, could someone actually die of this? His thinking disjointed, part of his mind straining to hold onto rational thought as Chakotay and the overwhelming pleasure pulled him in. Oh, yes, kiss me, please, please . . Chakotay had to, absolutely had to kiss Tom. It was becoming imperative, as necessary for his continued survival as the next breath he struggled to take. Tom's arms came around him, his hands on his back and at the nape of his neck, his legs coming up to lay crosswise over Chakotay's, Tom's back against the wall of the hot tub. Then, oh heaven, I can die now, this is a good time as Chakotay's lips came to touch his and thinking became impossible. The softest of kisses, so tentative and cautious, so afraid of causing more hurt and feeling so damn *good*. How much better can this *possibly* get was Chakotay's last coherent thought before all his awareness was focused on Tom and how Tom felt, and tasted and oh, gods, he did taste like that, so wonderful, and felt even better, and then Tom did the unthinkable and opened his mouth and Chakotay was inside. Chakotay moved his hands so that both were on Tom's neck, below his ears. He could feel the pulse pounding, so hard and strong, through his fingers as their tongues touched, so lightly and heard Tom give voice to the pleasure as he moaned into Chakotay's mouth. And the pleasure, everywhere, all around them both as Tom pulled slightly away and rested his forehead against Chakotay's and uttered a sound, part sigh, part sob. Their arms went around each other, tighter, and they held onto one another until the tremors slowed. Tom pulled back to look at Chakotay's face, the slight smile completely throwing him. Smiling *again*? You know what I want, what I need, what I have to have or lose my mind, don't you? Don't you, Chakotay? "I think I have a pretty good idea, Tom." Oh, hell, I did not *even* say that out loud, did I? Damn, Chakotay's smiling even more, I guess I did. Oh, be merciful . . "I plan on showing showing *no* mercy, Tom." What, again with the out loud? I have got to quit doing this . . "Chakotay, don't torment me with this, okay? I couldn't take it . ." Chakotay looked at him with no small amount of amazement. "Do you think for one minute that I don't want this, that I don't need this, just as much as you do? Gods, I'll admit that it would not have occurred to me an hour ago, but I know I can't stop this, and I don't intend to try." Tom knew he had no intention of trying either and pulled Chakotay in for another kiss. Oh, the feel of the man. Tom's lips traveled all over Chakotay's face, his chin, jaw both getting nibbled oh, so gently, up his cheeks and over both cheekbones, across his nose and up his forehead, switching to his tongue to trace that glorious tatoo. Oh, that *groan*. Jeez, and *he* thinks this feels good? Back to his lips, like Tom could have stayed away for long, and oh, they were kissing again. Chakotay brought his hands down Tom's sides and back up his chest, feeling him shudder. Gods, he *loved* this, the responsiveness, as the kiss became more urgent, harder, less cautious. His brought his hands down Tom's chest lightly scratching, barely scratching his short nails down Tom's nipples and felt, then heard, the groan and quick inhalation. He moved one hand behind Tom's back to hold him, hand splayed between Tom's shoulderblades, and brought the other down to caress his hip and that long, wonderful length of thigh, stopping at the knee. Tom let his outside leg fall off of Chakotay's lap and felt that hand go up the inside of his leg, coming slowly up to his . . oh, oh, *yes*, oh *gods* . . as that gentle hand with those skillful fingers found his hard cock and stroked the length of it. He couldn't have prevented the scream that was torn from his throat if his life had depended on it. And oh, that delight of Chakotay's, that joyous, tender *triumph*, he could feel it all as the emotion went through him. And then Chakotay's lips were at his throat again, sucking on his earlobe, tonguing inside and around his ear and Tom couldn't stand it, it was so unfair that he should be the only one enjoying this, being touched and worshipped and . . loved? Is that what that other feeling was? Is that what Chakotay *felt*? Oh, have mercy . . Chakotay felt the shock and confusion and looked up, wondering at the cause. Saw those barely-blue eyes so open and . . awestruck, there was no other way to describe it. "Tom, what's wrong?" "Oh, gods, you can't, you don't, not really . ." "I can't what, Tom?" "Love me . . Do you?" Uh, oh. "I want to love you, and be loved by you. I want to make love to you, and have you make love to me. Is that enough? For now? Until we have more time to see and explore and discover one another. Is it enough?" "It's more than I ever thought I could have with you. More than I ever thought we could have together." Tom leaned back in to kiss Chakotay, again, and again. "I want so much more, but it's enough for now." I could love you, oh gods, so easily. Beautiful, brilliant, glorious man. And sighed to feel Tom's lips kissing his way down his throat and along the collarbone, gently biting and licking Chakotay's chest and swirling his tongue around the nipples. "Tom, I want you, please . ." And resumed stroking Tom's cock. "Oh, I want you, too, gods, how I want you." "Then take me, now, inside me, come inside me." Chakotay turned around, knelt on the bench and opened his legs as he felt Tom move behind him. He leaned over the edge of the hot tub, resting his forearms on the deck surrounding it and threw his head back as he felt Tom's hand close around his cock. Tom knelt behind him and caressed his back with his other hand, enjoying the play of muscles under that warm, golden skin. He kept ahold of Chakotay's cock, loving his reactions to every stroke, every soft squeeze. He bit his lip as he fought for control, damn, this had been so intense for so long he knew he wouldn't last. His own cock was throbbing; he couldn't remember being this hard in years. He caressed Chakotay's opening with just a fingertip and couldn't stifle a gasp when Chakotay thrust back and impaled himself on it. "I said now, Tom, I distinctly remember saying *now*", Chakotay ground out and began moving back and forth, pumping Tom's finger. "Okay, easy, dammit Chakotay, now it is." Tom withdrew his finger and, grasping his cock, tried to ease it into Chakotay gently. Chakotay had other ideas and reached behind Tom, grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled Tom all the way inside, hard. "Chakotay, gods, knock it off, *I'm* calling the shots on this ride," Tom groaned. "Don't make me pull rank on you, Tom. Dammit, fuck me," Chakotay gasped as Tom began moving inside him and leaned forward to bite him, none too gently, on the side of his neck. Oh, yes, oh, Great One, yes, "Tom, yes, harder, gods, *yes*." Oh, too long, alone for too long, how could anyone live without this, how could he have forgotten? Tom gripped Chakotay hard and pulled him back to him, never stopping the thrusts that were rapidly driving Chakotay out of his mind. Tom knew the end was near, too soon, and let go of Chakotay's cock to grip his other shoulder. Chakotay moaned his disappointment, until Tom said,"I want you to come in me, I want to feel you come hard and fast inside me, I want to hear you scream and feel your body release and then I want to feel it all over again when the wave hits me, Chakotay. I want it all, everything, Chakotay." Chakotay felt Tom's whole body shudder and felt, again before he heard, Tom's shout as his body emptied itself into Chakotay's and, then, Chakotay was rocked by Tom's orgasm, coming through the water and moving through him like phaser-fire. He cried out and, as he came, Tom slumped against him. He slid bonelessly against the side of the tub, the world going white behind his eyes. Tom wrapped both arms around Chakotay, who was shaking so badly, Tom thought he could hear his teeth rattle. He pulled the other man back with him and held on tight until he could feel him relaxing, and the shaking stopped. Tom brushed the beautiful dark hair out of Chakotay's eyes and kissed him on the neck. "Are you okay?", he whispered. "Yeah, I think so," Chakotay breathed, with almost no sound at all behind it, "I have *never* felt anything like that before in my life. It was like I was inside you while you were inside me and I felt both of us come together." "I know, I was there." "It doesn't seem to be as intense for you, though," Chakotay said, looking around at Tom. "I had already come once, remember? I felt your orgasm come through me, but it was more of an aftershock. A rather major aftershock, though, I gotta admit. So," Tom grinned, "it was good for you?" Chakotay looked at him in amazement and laughed out loud. "Yeah, it was pretty good for me." "Want to do it again, sometime?" Tom asked, in what he hoped was his usual light tone. Chakotay wasn't fooled, he could feel the doubt in Tom and immediately put his mind at ease. "Yeah, I want to do this again, but can you give me a couple of hours?" Tom blinked in surprise and smiled. "Take all the time you need." end