Computer terms as defined by Rural Canadians
Log On : Making the wood stove hotter
Log Off : Don't add wood.
Monitor : Keep an eeye on the wood stove
Download : Getting the firewood off the pickup
Mega Hertz : When you're not careful downloading (watch the toes)
Floppy Disk : What you get from piling too much wood.
RAM : The hydraulic thingy that makes the wood splitter work.
Hard Drive : Getting home in the mud season
Prompt : What you wish the mail was in mud season
Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.
Screen : What you need for black fly season
Byte : What the black flies do.
Chip : What to munch on.
Micro Chip : What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared : Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
Modem : What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix : Farmer Matrix’s wife.
Lap Top : Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard : Where you hang your keys.
Software : Plastic eating utensils.
Mouse : What eats the horses grain in the barn
Main Frame : The part of the barn that holds up the roof.
Port : Fancy wine.
Enter : C'mon in!