**CHORUS** 
 Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... 
 my name is... Slim Shady 
 Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... 
 my name is... Slim Shady (2x) 
 
 Ahem...excuse me! 
 Can I have the attention of the class for one second... 
 
 Hi kids! Do you like violence? (yeah yeah yeah!) 
 Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids? 
 (uh huh!) 
 Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!) 
 Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (huh?) 
 My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin' to get my head straight 
 But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate 
 (Ummmm..) 
 Dr. Dre said: "Slim Shady you a basehead..." 
 Uh-uhhh! "Then why's ya face red, man you wasted..." 
 Well since age 12 I've felt like I'm someone else 
 Cuz I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt 
 Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off 
 And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris 
 Kross 
 I smoke a fat pound of hash and fall on my ass 
 Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast 
 C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!) 
 I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off 

**CHORUS** 
 
 My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high 
 The only problem was my English teacher was a guy 
 I smacked him in his face with an eraser 
 Chased him with a stapler 
 And stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!) 
 Walked in a strip club, had my jacket zipped up 
 Flashed the bartender and stuck my dick in the tip cup 
 (Wsssshhhhh...) 
 Extraterrestrial, killin' pedestrians 
 Rapin' lesbains while they screamin': "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!" 
 99% of my life I was lied to 
 I just found out my mom does more dope than I do 
 I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper 
 Make a record about doin' drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!) 
 You know you blew up when the women rush the stands 
 To try to touch your hands like the screamin' Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!) 
 This guy's wife passed so asked for my autograph 
 So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE' 

**CHORUS** 

 Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!) 
 Dr. Dre don't just stand there, OPERATE! 
 I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die 
 I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive 
 Am I comin' or goin'? I can barely decide, 
 I just drank a fifth of vodka...dare me to drive? (Go 'head.) 
 All my life I was very deprived 
 I ain't had a woman in years, my palms are too hairy to hide 
 Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk 
 I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere.) 
 When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits 
 HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME HUH? YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! 
 I lay awake and slap myself in the bed 
 Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!) 
 I'm steamin' mad (Arrrggghhh!) 
 And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah.) 
 Tell him I slit his throat in this dream I had 
 
**CHORUS** (to fade out)