I did not wright this story.  I would not take credit 
    for it even if I had.  In fact, I'd rather die than have 
    this story connected to me in any way.  Phatt, on the other 
    hand, is proud of his abject stupidity.  He loves being 
    stupid; it's his life.
         But seriosly folks, Phatt is a good friend of mine.  
    Dispite his obvious flaws, he is basically a nice guy 
    (in the most non-homosexual way)(thank god).  Sometimes, 
    he's too nice and I have to whack him upside the cranium 
    to keep him in line.  He's even nice enough to let me use 
    his story, even though I never asked.
    

    
    here is my story of absoult retardness, i hope you enjoy it. 
    
     i was just tring to find a light bulb for this reading lamp 
    i have so i could read my bio shit in bed and i found some 
    car lights, actually car light like headlights lights, and 
    they looked like they would work so i shoved one in there 
    and plugged it in, sheild my eyes of course, but it did not 
    work, so i decided to turn the knob on the back, with out 
    covering my eyes, ofcourse, turned and then i saw the 
    brightest bust of light i had ever in my entire life seen, 
    aimed right at my pupil, it was only a bust of light because 
    a millisecond after the light, almost in unisence, there was 
    a loud pop, the inside of the light had shatterd into a 
    million and one peices,  i was blinded for about 2 min. from 
    the light and i also had a ringing in my ears from the pop.  
    after i finnaly regained sight and hearing, i unplugged the 
    smoking light and went inside, my parents ask about the 
    noise, and i would not tell them what really happened, they 
    would think i am an idiot, and i told them i droped a hammer, 
    real convincing.  i hope my contacts did not get fussed to 
    my eyes, that would only kind of suck.
    
    
    

       Phatt is actually rather proud of this story.  I don't 
    know why.  I guess it's just another testiment to his 
    complete idiocy.  Maybe he should visit my therapist...  
    maybe not.