These stories are strange but thay are also true.  Beleive me I 
    know what I'm talkin about.  After all, thay are my stories.
    
    
         I know this guy who can fill his belly button with water and 
    contract all his stomach muscles and make all the water squirt out. 
    You should see him.  It's really amzing.  I once saw him squirt a 
    squirell on tree that was a hundred yards away.  He says he can do 
    200, but that seems a little far fetched.  Don't you think?
    
    
    
         One time I went went sky diving over a bunch of these really tall
    mountains.  And this guy who was on the plane with me, acutually he was
    the pilot,  left the controls and jumped out the little window.  Now, 
    I know you think I'm gonna say he forgot his parchute, but he didn't, so 
    there.  What he did was he landed in this big tree and got stuck in there.
    This was bad news certainly cant pilot a plane when he's stuck in a tree
    , especially when the tree is not, technically, inside the plane.  So, 
    being a highly skilled badger, I decided that I would take controll of
    the situation.  I grabbed the controls and started to use them for the 
    purpose they were designed to do, control the plane (that's why they're
    called controlls' dumbass.)  It turns out I am the greatest pilot on the
    face of the planet.  I'm not bragging, I am merely stating a fact.  I did
    a few loop the loops and a disco-style dance move then I started doing
    all these fancy break dancing moves and then the guy sitting behind me 
    puked all over the carpets and then I kicked his ass.  I hate it when the
    guy behind me pukes while I'm piloting a plane.  I got so pissed off I
    had to land.
    
    
    
         My sister, Carolyn, has no brain.  We filled her head with some rags
    I foud under the kitchen sink.  I figure she'll never know the difference.
    
    
          I know this guy who drank 30 beers in one night.  His bladder 
    exploded.  It was a rather powerful blast.  the whole room was drenced
    in blood and urin.  It sucked.  If the guy wasn't already dead I woud 
    have killed him.
    
    
    
          A few days ago, a good friend of mine went down to mexico because
    he heard that Jimi Hendrix was still alive down there.  He was right.
    It turns out that the mexicans couldn't afford a dead Jimi Hendrix, like
    we have the privilage of having in the states, so they had to settle for
    a live one.  I'm sure they're not to happy about that.  All he does is
    sit around and smoke cheeba while he talks about what a great guitar
    played he used to be.  They all think he's lying.
    
    
    
         This girl I used to know can melt plastic with heat generated from
    the inside of her knee.  I don't know how she does it without burning
    herself.  But she does.  I'm pretty proud of her, for developing the 
    talent and all, but I'm not exactly sure why she wanted to learn to that
    I don't know, maybe she was born knowing.