Back to First Day
We awoke and diplomatically arranged the shower (read: Anne pounding on the bathroom door and growling in her best Adrian voice "Are you going to get out of there today, wench, or shall I come in after you?" as Lu hogged the bathroom) [Hey. Let's get this "bathroom hogging" thing straight. For the record: when I woke up--about ninety minutes before the alarm was set to go off, both my roomies were snoring loudly. So I took all my stuff and tiptoed into the bathroom, trying to be quiet. Because I was trying not to wake them up, I was doing a lot of "getting ready" in the bathroom that I'd normally do outside of it, okay? I vacated it just as soon as someone indicated that she needed in, thankyouverymuch. If they had asked earlier, I would have gotten out--I didn't know they were even awake yet. So there. :-p ] and scarfed down Nutrigrain bars for breakfast. I have now acquired a taste for Nutrigrain bars. [I really hate to burst your bubble on this one, dear, given the poem and all, but what we had the first few mornings were not Nutrigrain bars. They were Entenmann's Breakfast Bars. Do you not remember Elizabeth telling you they were Entenmann's, and you asking "What's that in English?" We didn't break out the Nutrigrain until the last morning.]
Being dressed and ready for action, we descended upon the Marketplace. . . only to find that it did not open until 10:00am. "But we have money!" we whined. "We want to spend it!". The dealers remained adamant that we couldn't spend 'til 10:00am. *sigh*.
So down we went to the lobby and holed up with a charming book dealer whose name I don't recall but who kept us in stitches. He was very funny. He kept us amused until 10:00 when we excused ourselves and went stampeding back up to the dealers' rooms. They finally let us in, and that's where I ran into Beverly "Inksucker" Richardson, on the second day of her shark feeding frenzy, how she described her shopping expedition. She told me about the dollar toy bin, but she'd already scarfed up the best toys. Well, I wasn't really there to buy toys.You believe that, right? :-) [Watching Bev in action was awe-inspiring! "Feeding frenzy" doesn't quite cover it--I think "tsunami" is more accurate. Or "shop until the vendors drop." *grin* Of course, Anne is no slouch in the shopping department herself, mind you. . .]
I had promised not to buy the very first thing I saw, and it's a pity, because what I saw was a very attractive necklace made of linked bats that I quite liked. The same dealer also had really nice rings with dragons clutching various crystals that I liked, but I also told myself I'd come back later. I started the loop and we found the Dark Delicacies table full of great books and vampire toys; plus some t-shirts. All the shirts from the Coppola movie were going for 5 bucks, so I got one that's really interesting with a sort of dragon figure on it. First t-shirt, but not the last! :-) I also bought a bat beany bag. It was too cute to pass up. [I wanted that beany bag. :-( But I figured that Anne might actually bite me--and not in a good way--if I tried for it!]
Onward and upward, leaving staggering dealers in our wake, we passed. I bought a few more t-shirts, mostly with vampire themes although I got one from Plan 9 from Outer Space! and another with a really lovely goth angel on it from Carpe Noctem, a fanzine. And a couple of figurines, buttons, necklaces. . . you can only imagine! In the next dealers' room, I bought myself a lovely, plain silver-plated wine goblet, something I had promised myself. One dealer had really fancy pewter ones with dragons or other elaborate stems, but they were very heavy and quite expensive. The plain one looked more Baronial and is really quite handsome (not to mention considerably cheaper). [Me, I went nuts with books. I snapped up quite a few Yarbros that I've been hunting for several years, which was a thrill. Got some other classics that I hadn't picked up yet. Not much else, other than some funny "Forever Knight" bumper stickers, and an anklet and a bracelet. I thought I might have to buy another suitcase to take my books home. We decided that we missed a money-making opportunity; we could've set up outside the dealers' rooms and sold luggage and done pretty well.]
Having exhausted the dealers' rooms for the time being, we went to the first of the panels. Lu had to take Sandra's for her and the rest of us went to go and hear Elizabeth Miller and Raymond McNally duke it out about the divorce between Count Dracula and Vlad Tepes. Both made convincing arguments for their case, and the conclusion was "separation granted, divorce denied". Elizabeth and Raymond are quite good friends,
which made the whole debate possible, and gorgeous Benjamin Leblanc moderated so that I could just sit there and drool. :) [I'm so bummed that I missed that debate, I can hardly tell you. However, the panel I chaired had three excellent papers, and some interesting people in the audience, including one of my heroes, Suzy McKee Charnas. One of the papers dealt with her book, so the discussion afterwards was great. Margaret L. Carter was fascinating, as well. And get this--I sat next to Charnas, who was working on a piece of embroidery. Given the title of her book, I think you can appreciate the irony!
Let me just say here that the academic and literary sessions during the day were just fabulous. I didn't hear a single bad paper or discussion, and in fact the quality of the papers was very high. I've come home with all sorts of new ideas just burning to be written about! There was just too much going on, is my only complaint. Three tracks of academic papers is a lot, and there were five tracks going on, usually. I started rethinking my position on cloning, to tell the truth. *grin* Kudos to Bloofer and Chelsea Quinn Yarbro for those sessions, which were the highlight of my conference experience.]
We acquired a Vampyres lurker, Maggie, and scooped her up with us for lunch at Subway. Actually, I'm not crazy about subs but Subway was decent; the bread was very fresh and the ingredients were likewise, and it was about all that was available. We spotted several conventioners, including Elaine Bergstrom, scarfing down sandwiches. [And let me just say here that Maggie is the coolest! I'm so glad we got to meet her. We all tagged around together the rest of the time, which really added to the whole experience.]
Back at the convention, we did another round of the dealers. The linked necklace was gone, so I bought one of the dragon rings in compensation. It's two dragons clutching an amethyst. A large, heavy ring that only fits my middle finger, but I have the big hands to carry it off and everyone admired it very much. Then we went to a dialogue about vampires in the movies and tv, between Elaine Bergstrom and Bob Madison, who's got a book coming out on the subject, that was quite enjoyable. [Got to love Bob Madison--get his book, everyone, it's going to be bitingly funny, if you'll pardon the expression. At the beginning, there weren't that many people in the audience. Madison looked out at Anne, Elizabeth and I and said, "Can I just say how nice it is to be in a room where there's no black clothing, black hair dye, and no pancake make-up?" *laugh* It was an interesting weekend--I've never stood out so much for looking conventional in my life!]
Next was a panel on vampires and the internet, which strayed into a discussion on censorship, with Nancy Kilpatrick whom I cheerfully introduced to all my friends. Elizabeth Miller chaired that one and was able to plug Vampyres. :-) [Good session--got some good URLs from it, and met the webmaster of Vampire Athenaeum, which is a great site for listings of new vampire lit.]
We rounded up the Canadian Crypt (Bev and two of her roomies) and went out to Denny's en masse for dinner; having a great time freaking the mundanes. As soon as we had paid, the manager came over and very pointedly asked if everything had been okay, which we took as a subtle hint that we were disturbing the other patrons by talking about bloodsucking and disemboweling, so we left. I've never been thrown out of a Denny's before. :-) It was a cultural highlight. *grin* [A very subdued, polite "throwing out", but that's what it was!]
Ah, but then we were ready for the entertainment, listed as a "Dark Shadows Celebration". Well. First, there were a series of awards from the TSD given to people, and that was fine. Then two women who are big in DS fandom got up and talked about the show. And talked. And talked. Hello? You're preaching to the converted! We knew about the show, or we wouldn't have been there. [Yeah--I hardly think that we needed an extended summary of every single season, thankyouverymuch.] One of the two was particularly bad, we lost count of the number of times she said "As I said before," and "we have fans who are very creative". Finally she shut up and let the Collinsport Players come on and do their stuff. They were amusing and seriously cheesy, and it was just like watching an episode of DS. The man playing Barnabas was particularily good, he had all the mannerisms, voice and movements down pat. We laughed heartily and applauded them sincerely. [Yes, they were truly a scream--I'm a big fan of cheese for cheese's sake. Hey, you forgot Gahan Wilson as the M.C. He was wonderful. What a great sense of humor! And a lovely, deprecating fashion of trying to work with the delays, etc., all the evenings that he M.C.ed. I loved him. I must admit I'd never heard of him before, but I'm going to look at his cartoons now just because he was so hilarious.]
Then things got a little bit weird, with a ballet from a Toronto artist doing the Blood Countess. Ballet in drag. Lu said "Only in LA" but I reminded her the dancer was from Toronto--and actually it turned out I know him. *grin* He and his partner hang out at Gothic Society events. He was camp, he was good, and he was brief. These were all excellent marks in his favour, especially compared to the next performer. [Yes, I enjoyed him. Er, her. *grin* He did actually have some talent, and it was fun to watch. Cool music, too.]
How, how, how do I describe this? What can I say, Lord, of the dance?
(Yes, Lu, I've been saving that one...).
[*groan* Let the beatings commence. . . ]
Picture this: a darkened stage, and an audience already made a bit restless by the inevitable delays and gaffes in getting the entertainment to us. A woman lying on a table, draped with a banner reading "Vlad Tepes" and his dates, and below that "The Dracula Archives". Music begins, she rises and begins to. . . well, torture us for nearly an hour. Or maybe it wasn't that long, I truly lost track of time. [No, no, it was several hours. Trust me.] It was interminable, and truly, truly awful. Yet the audience, though increasingly unhappy, remained mostly transfixed in their seats. Ever read Watership Down? You know the word the rabbits had for when they were staring fascinated into the headlights of an onrushing car? I think the entire audience went "tharn" watching that dancer. [Yep. That, and like slowing down to look at a car wreck.]
The sad thing is that she obviously thought she was absolutely wonderful; and that we were a pack of ungrateful Philistines upon whom she had bestowed great art that we were too doltish to appreciate. Now, granted I'm not a great fan of performance art, but everyone was getting very agitated when she just kept going and going. [And going and going and going. . . ohmigod. I'm actually glad I saw it. Because A) now I can say I've seen everything, and B) when things get bad, I can think back and say, "No, I've been through worse."]
The Energizer Bunny has nothing on this Suzanne Muldowney. If you ever see that name [she bills herself as "Princess Dracula"] on any entertainment program, run screaming in the opposite direction. No, better yet, stay and watch because then you can truly say you have seen everything. Nothing can possibly ever be worse. Halfway through the Neverending Story, people were beginning to shout out "die, die!" and a couple of very sarcastic ones cried out "Encore!" at the very end. [The thing is, she actually did die several times during the course of her "interpretation" of Vlad's career. To thunderous applause, which died out into horrified silence as she got up and continued to. . . I use the word very loosely. . . dance. Do you know, I've actually seen my 6-year-old neighbor out in the yard with a stick, doing much the same thing. Except he's usually dressed as the Blue Power Ranger, rather than Vlad Tepes.]
Our little row, sitting in mesmerized horror, kept making very politically incorrect cracks that soon had everyone within earshot trying desperately not to laugh. "Oh, for God's sake, don't resurrect again!" was by far the most popular of the things said. Most of the rest have fled from my head, maybe Lu or Maggie remembers more.
[Not much more, as I have thankfully repressed most of the evening. I daresay
it will come out after years of therapy. (Actually, that was one of the comments at the time, now that I think about it. *grin*) I do remember the following exchange between Maggie and me, though: During the previous performance, I had turned to Maggie and mentioned that although I consider myself a bit of an artsy-fartsy type, I really know nothing about ballet. It doesn't do anything for me, quite frankly, although I can understand that it's very complicated and difficult. She mentioned that she's taken ballet.
So, after Princess Dracula had been sort of pacing around the stage waving a stick, and occasionally thwacking the disco ball, gazing skyward soulfully, and taking her cloak on and off for about 20 minutes, I turned to Maggie and said, "So. You've taken ballet, huh?"
"Yes."
"Ummmm. . . has she?"
"Hell, no."]
The artiste, having sensed she had cast her performance pearls before unappreciative swine, fled weeping from the room straight into the arms of the sympathetic press. She could be seen sucking up to anyone with a yellow press pass for the remainder of the con; when she wasn't either sucking up to McNally or Florescu or bitching at P.N. Elrod, but that's yet to come. [Despite what I could say about the state of modern journalism, they weren't stupid--pretty soon we'd see someone with a yellow pass moving past us very quickly in the hall, wearing a hunted expression. Not long after would come Princess Dracula in hot pursuit.]
We then were treated to an interview, if you can call it that, conducted by David del Valle; he was interviewing Ingrid Pitt, Lara Parker, Kathryn Leigh Scott and Yutte Stensgaard, a star of one of the Carmilla movies. It was a horrible interview, although Ingrid gained our love when she walked out and said directly to the audience "You people are certainly very patient." [Gods, she was funny. Lots of eye-rolling, and nipping stupid questions in the bud. I talked to her later in Drac's Marketplace, and she was marvelously ascerbic.] We wanted to see the women and hear them, instead the interviewer kept yammering on about his experiences, and where he was when Dark Shadows premiered, and hardly ever let the ladies talk. On a couple of occasions, he interupted them! [Not to mention asking dumb "Yes/No" questions (I have a thing about that, can you tell?), as well as pushing questions that they all rolled their eyes over. Like asking them, "Do you believe in vampires and the supernatural?" Ingrid Pitt snorted very loudly and said, "Of course not," while glaring at him. Kathryn Leigh Scott, I think it was, looked at him for a long moment and said, "You know, this was just a job like any other for us. We don't take jobs because of any deep, personal beliefs. We take them to pay the rent." WooHOO.]
Lu and I couldn't take it anymore and left, but apparently we should have stayed because later Ingrid very neatly put him right in his place. Oh, well. [I would have liked to have seen that, but I was truly about to scream out loud. . . ]
Lu and I returned to the room, where I freshened up a bit and then headed for the gathering of Canadians at the con; joined by the Romanian delegation and a few especially invited Americans. Nicholas Paduraru, the Romanian president of the TSD, is a charming and very funny man; and we spoke quite a bit with one of the women in the delegation. One woman came up to me, shaking her fist playfully, and collared me with "You! It was your bunch! Every time I managed to compose myself during that endless dance, you made some crack and I had to calm down all over again! I nearly wet my pants!" I just grinned at her. I did some table hopping and treated myself to a brandy at the cash bar, then called it a night and went to bed. Despite the brandy, I still couldn't sleep.
Thus endeth the second day.